Glimpses of Weeks
by NuGirl
Summary: It's been a long time coming for them. First welcoming Louie and then facing the reality of quite possibly losing him. How do they pick up the pieces and move on?
1. Chapter 1

**Just something that I've been working on since I posted my last CF story. Thanks to ItsWhatIWrite for again listening to me, brainstorming with me and editing for, especially when it comes to the Americanisms. Thanks, R x**

 **Just a side note: The whole story is going to be sweet and fairly fluffy. It was what I was in the mood for after the last story. Enjoy**

* * *

Gabby smiled slightly as she surveyed what was going on her around her. It was near the end of shift and she could see everyone was winding down, most of the truck crew sitting in the break room. She could see Stella joking around with Otis and Cruz, obviously trying to wind them both up about something, even though Cruz was no longer with Truck he did still spend a fair amount of time with them. Mouch was in his usual position and Herrmann was sitting at the end of the long table doing something similar to her, just observing everything. Jimmy was nowhere to be seen, probably cleaning the showers or some other such job that had been assigned to him. Unfortunately, no one was making breakfast.

She was sure that the rest of Squad Three would be lounging at their table with Severide doing some paperwork, she had noticed that on her walk out from the bunkroom. She was hoping that Brett was doing a stock of the ambo, it had been a busy shift. Casey, however, was nowhere to be found. She was sure that he hadn't been in his office earlier.

Gabby took a breath as she leant against the doorway between the bunkroom and dining room and allowed herself to think back over the last year and what had led her to this point in her life.

Fostering Louie had made her heart swell more than Gabby had thought was possible. She had been so determined to give this young boy a home that she had dove headfirst into it without any regard for anything else in her life. She had almost thrown away her relationship with Matt for the chance to give him a home. So many harsh words were exchanged between them and looking back on that time, Gabby did regret some of the harsh words that were exchanged. In her mind, if Matt wasn't a 100% in, this wasn't going to work. How wrong she found this out to be. There had never been any need to treat Matt the way she did, but she couldn't change the past, nor did she want to. In the end, it had worked out for the best, but it was a place that Gabby didn't ever want to go back to.

Not long after Louie had come into their lives, she had made a few changes both professionally and personally. Neither her temporary accommodation above the Herrmann's garage or Matt's apartment was really cutting it for a real home for their family, therefore, a month or so after Louie joined the Dawson-Casey family she decided that they needed to look for somewhere a touch larger. They had gone back and forth about where they could live, Gabby was adamant that she didn't want to live in a townhouse, it was the one thing that she wasn't willing to compromise on. Matt, on the other hand, wanted something they could grow into, something with a yard, a basement and plenty of room. Whilst he had possibly been a bit hesitant about fostering Louie in the beginning, he had fully embraced the little family they had created.

And it hadn't all been smooth sailing, Gabby and Matt still had problems to work through and trying to juggle fire shifts, Molly's and Matt's alderman duties had taken some time to work out. Luckily for them, Gabby's parents had decided to come back to Chicago from the Dominican to help out the young family. Gabby's mom would come down to their small place to help out when Matt and Gabby were on shift. This led to discussions between the couple over where they were going to buy a house. Gabby was still happy to rent a small place that would be suitable for Louie whilst he was young, but Matt kept arguing that they weren't getting any younger and that he wasn't going anywhere, therefore they should buy a house. The next problem was where to buy, they had seen some lovely houses further north in Ravenswood near Gabby's parents, knowing it would be convenient to have her parents nearby, but then they would be much further away from the firehouse and most of their friends, even Antonio lived closer to the 21st district than his parents. Their other option was to stay close to the firehouse in the Lower South Side, but the only house they could find was five minutes away from the firehouse and didn't have much else going for it. Gabby had argued that whilst they were currently serving at House 51 that might not always be the case and if they were going to spend money then this new house better be their forever home.

In the end, they had found a fixer up in Lincoln Park, that had been a slightly further commute to work than Gabby had originally wanted, but she had fallen in love with it anyway. Luckily for them, it was a foreclosure or there would have been no way they could have been able to afford the house at all. It was also much larger than she had ever imagined with 5 bedrooms on a fenced double lot, but it had been at the right price for them and Matt just couldn't pass it up. It had needed a fair amount of work which Matt had gladly taken on and within a couple of months they had it to a point where they could live in it comfortably. They now had a deck for entertaining their friends and a grassed back yard for Louie to run around and play in. The construction side of Matt had always wanted crown molding, which this place had all throughout. But it was the kitchen that had sold Gabby on the house, in the end, she had spent so much time as a child learning how to cook with her mother and she too wanted to pass on those skills to their children. Upon viewing the house, the elder Dawsons had joked that if Matt and Gabby didn't buy the place they would, if only for the kitchen.

Gabby had also decided to make a shift in her professional life. There had been a time in her life when she thought that there was nothing more she could love than running into a burning building. But then she had Louie at home to consider, he needed them to come home at the end of every shift, and she was going to do everything in her power to make sure that happened. After some open and honest discussions with Matt, they decided together that may be the best place for her at the moment was to be back on Ambo. They were still on shift together, home at the same time, able to spend as much time as they could parenting Louie, watching him grow, enjoying the family that they were creating. Plus, parenting a child together would mean that Matt might not always be making the right decisions with a clear head regarding Gabby.

But it had all come crashing down a few months later when Louie's maternal grandparents had come back into the picture. They hadn't been around when Louie had entered the foster system and were unaware that his mother had given up her rights to Louie. But here they were, back in Chicago, wanting to reconnect with their grandson. Gabby had initially been very suspicious of their intentions, but there was nothing she or Matt could do, Gabby was only fostering and had no rights to Louie. If a blood relative wanted to take him in she would have to step aside. Matt had done everything he could using his alderman status to try and come to a different conclusion where he and Gabby could adopt and keep Louie, but it was to no avail.

The only comforting ending to the whole situation was that Gabby had been able to spend some with the grandparents who had actually made the time to get to know Gabby and Matt. They spent time at the Casey's house with Louie learning his routine, slowly easing themselves into Louie's life. As much as they both wanted to be Louie's primary caregivers they understood the hold that Louie had on Gabby and knew that it would do no good for anyone involved if they simply came in and took him away. For all of that though Louie would be moving out of Chicago with his grandparents. They wanted to start a new life with him, and a fresh start out of Chicago was the right move for them even if it broke Gabby's heart. Six months after she had started fostering Louie, almost to the day, Gabby had to give him up.

What followed had been a heartbreak that was almost too much for the young couple to take. Matt had closed up the upper floor of their house, not being able to bear walking around Louie's room that he and Louie had spent hours decorating together. Gabby threw herself into work again, spending more and more time at Molly's and picking up the odd shift on Truck 81 for another watch, she had even spent a few nights at Brett's just so she didn't need to walk into an empty house. Ultimately a month or so later Matt had to force himself to look at the situation that they were in, knowing that they could just as easily fall back into a dark place and tear their relationship apart again unless they both committed themselves and did something to fix what was happening.

And it had taken time for them to cope with yet another loss. The hole in the heart that Gabby had after losing a baby was only getting larger. However, Matt was determined to ensure that they were able to come out the other side together, Gabby had spent the better part of a week sobbing herself to sleep every night. Not really knowing what to say, Matt held her tight allowing her to express what she was feeling, Gabby would lament the loss of her baby, mourn the loss of Louie and generally wonder what she had done in life to have been dealt such a hand.

But day by day things had improved for Gabby. She had considered coming back to Truck or even a shift to Engine, however, decided that there had been enough change in her life for the time being and believed that the best place for her would be Ambo. It was something that they would reassess a little later down the track, they had both decided.

The next hurdle that they had to overcome was what they were going to do about working together problem. It was always going to be the problem once they got married, it was pretty likely that they shouldn't be working together. As Boden had said, "It is prohibited for a married couple to serve on the same truck." And Gabby knew that Boden had turned a blind eye to her serving under Casey in the first place, but if they were married, sharing the same name there would be no hiding it. However, Matt knew after a few weeks after Louie had been torn from their lives that he wanted her as his wife.

Casey knew that the minute they got engaged and then married it would be all over for them working together and in some ways, he wasn't really wanting to change the status quo. But on the other hand, he had wanted nothing more than to make her his wife. Then he was running out of hands. He enjoyed working with her and if he was correct in his assumptions she wouldn't be in Firehouse 51 forever. They hadn't talked about adding more children to the family after Louie, but he did assume that more kids would someday be part of the picture. Matt had savoured every moment he could whilst he watched Gabby and Louie playing in the backyard, he could almost picture another few younger children running around with them. And he didn't want that image to fade.

Everything had suddenly fallen into place for Matt, just like he had told her at Mouch and Trudy's wedding; 'maybe it's even crazier that we're not married.' Matt knew what he wanted and he knew that he had to make this change, third time lucky he thought. So he had her original engagement ring reworked slightly, so it was still 'Gabby' but something new to signify their new beginning.

* * *

 _After a particularly hard shift at the firehouse, Gabby had dragged her weary body into Matt's truck, closing her eyes whilst waiting for Matt to finish up the last of his reports. She was so tired that she hadn't even heard Matt get in. He sidled over to her and huskily spoke into her ear, "Marry me," whilst pressing a black box into her hand._ _Matt still said it was one of the few times that he had ever rendered her speechless._

 _She simply gave him her raised eyebrow-glare, which only intensified when she found that the box was empty. He had refused to speak anymore about it until that evening when they went down to Navy Pier. There as they watched the lights dance around them had he spoken up, holding her close, tucked into his side._

" _Gabby... I know that we haven't had the easiest of times. We've had a few blessings and also some challenges, but we've come through it all, together. Now when I look at my future, all I see is you. And I know I need you by my side. I know that you, only you, will be able to help me as we take on challenges. With you, I can take on anything. With you, I won't make those stupid decisions because you won't let me. With you, I look forward to the future. With you, I can see myself stepping out to every alderman event with you. I want you by my side for each and every work or political event. With you, I see our children running around. With you, I see perfection. With you, I see my world beginning and ending. With you, I see everything. Gabriela Dawson, will you… will you be my wife?"_

* * *

It would be easier, simpler if she took up a different job at a different house. Yet going to a different company would likely mean being at a slower house, that being after 51 could be 'boring' for lack of a better word, it was just all so confusing for her. The other option was for her to stay at Firehouse 51 but transfer to First or Third Watch. There were a few problems with that: one she was fairly sure that Third Watch's lieutenant wasn't her biggest fan. She tried not to take it personally, he just seemed old school and wasn't comfortable with female firefighters. Secondly, she wouldn't see Matt, fire houses functioned 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. They would see each other for a whole 24 hours out of 72 swings, that wouldn't be a relationship or any type of life together.

So in the end, here she was married to the love of her life, turning down an offer from Boden to place her on Engine 51. She was content working as Ambo 61's PIC. It had allowed her to continue working with Matt and seeing the people who mattered the most to her apart from her family, her fire family. How Boden had managed to keep them at the same house was still a mystery to her, but she wasn't questioning it at all. She gave a small smile as she looked down at her wedding ring, still shiny like it was brand new after three months of marriage. Bring her hand up to her chest, her fingers brushed over her engagement ring that was hidden beneath her clothes, hanging on a chain as per the CFD policy of only having one finger ring authorised.

Really the only thing that even made it noticeable to people was the fact that both of them had CASEY on their turnout coats, not that it was even that noticeable. And whilst Gabby was always going to be Dawson in this house, it didn't stop her having Casey emblazed onto all of her uniforms, most prominently on the rear of her coat. The only other thing was the wedding rings, but that didn't signify their personal togetherness, they could have been married to anyone as far as the general population was concerned. Just after they had become engaged again Herrmann had spent a vast amount of time teasing Gabby about how she was going to doing everything lop-sided now as her engagement ring was pulling her off balance. But even all the teasing had died down after a while as the whole house had been wanting this to happen for a long time now, only wanting happiness for the couple.

The slamming of a locker door and the subsequent slamming of hand into said locker brought Gabby out of her little daydream and around the corner into the locker room. There she found her husband holding onto his hand and proceeding to give the locker a kick.

"Hey… You might not realise it, but that's my locker you're laying into," she teased him in an attempt to lighten the mood. "Even if it does say _Casey_ , it happens to be my locker."

Casey spun around to find the source of the voice, his face like thunder.

"Leave it, Dawson," he growled.

Gabby actually backed up slightly, something had obviously happened whilst he had been missing. It wasn't at all him to be calling her Dawson in that tone of voice. She was still respectful that he was a lieutenant, calling him Casey rather than Matt at work. It was their way of an attempt at keeping their professional and personal lives disconnected. Nonetheless, she was in a separate chain of command, she did not need to answer to him, they were part of the same leadership team.

"What's going on Matt?"

"Leave it," he growled

"Don't give me that shit. You don't get to pull that card on me."

"I do here. I'm your boss."

Gabby slid towards him, "You do _not_ get to say that to me. I don't damn well care where we are Matthew Casey," she menacing said in a low voice. "And for your information you are not my boss!"

"Fine, you really want to know?!"

"YES!" she bellowed

"HEY!" Severide's voice invaded their 'discussion', "Maybe take it elsewhere…. _Later_ ," he emphasised.

"Look," Matt started as the bells went calling for Ambo to respond to a person down. He sighed, "We'll talk about it after shift. I'm going to take the rest of shift off and deal with some alderman work."

Gabby furrowed her eyebrows at him. This wasn't like Matt, something must have happened for him to let his alderman work interfere with his lieutenant's job.

"Fine," she huffed, giving Matt's locker a kick on her way out. Here was to payback.

* * *

Matt groaned as he looked at all of the paperwork sitting on his desk. He just couldn't believe that had a forgotten about voting on the latest bill surrounding the contract work on the city buildings. He had spent so much time working gathering information, getting ready to make a difference. And then he had completely missed the voting. He slammed the file back onto the desk as he heard the front door open and close.

"Matt?" her voice floated through the house.

"Office," came the reply.

He looked up as he heard Gabby sigh as she walked through the door, still in her uniform.

He raised his eyebrows at her, silently asking about the uniform.

"Long second half of the shift," she answered wearily. "Matt," she whined. "Is it really that hard to put your wet boots away when you come through the door?" she complained as she gave the boots a kick. "We have a mud room for a reason. Perfectly named by the way."

Matt raised his eyebrows before reaching out for her, pulling her into his lap.

"Gabby," he started as he placed a kiss to her temple. "I am sorry."

"Matt you can't do that at work. You can't treat me like I'm your candidate, it doesn't work like that. We need to work as the truck lieutenant and PIC when we're on shift. You aren't my boss, we're equals or near enough too. But here I'm your wife. Talk to me," she coaxed.

He would only bury his face into the crook of her neck, peppering the exposed skin with small kisses.

"Matttt…. Come on, not helping!"

Matt threw his head back groaning. "Babe you're killing me here," he teased.

"Then talk to me…"

"I missed that voting on the city construction job. After everything, all the time we spent looking into it, all the paperwork, everything. All I had to do was submit an absent vote and I couldn't even remember to do that," he complained.

"Hey, hey… Look at me," she enticed, placing a kiss on his cheek as she made herself more comfortable in his lap.

"There wasn't a clear winner on any offer. We need to vote again."

"So you'll vote next time."

"But…"

"No buts Matt. This ward couldn't have asked for a better alderman. Babe, you're only human, you're allowed to make mistakes. Place the letter and vote on the fridge and I'll mail it for you."

Matt gave a deep chuckle. "What did I do to deserve you, Gabriela Casey?"

"I'm sure you could find some way to show your appreciation," Gabby teased.

Gabby couldn't help but smile and then giggle as Matt swept her up in his arms and proceeded towards the bedroom, giving the bedroom door a kick shut.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi all, thanks for all the love you've all shown for my new story, from the follows, reviews and conversations on Twitter. I'm hoping to update this story once a week, so let's see how that goes. I've just started teaching at a new school and it's a bit hectic, so fingers crossed that I'm able to keep up on this.**

 **Again to R - for editing, thank you!**

 **This is a bit shorter than I would have liked, but I really wanted to get this posted and keep the story moving. Happy reading, let me know what you think. ~Em**

* * *

Gabby groaned and attempted to stretch out, in what was her opinion too early in the morning to even be awake because it was most definitely still too dark outside. She turned over attempting to huddle into the warmth that was Matt, only to find nothing. She stretched out an arm to feel around for the body before finally cracking an eyelid open to look over at the clock.

This glance indeed confirmed to her, yes it was too early to be awake. After quite a few rough shifts and long nights at Molly's, Gabby had been looking forward to the lie-in. However, her body obviously had different plans. That didn't, however, answer the question of where Matt was, she thought whilst scrunching her nose up.

She stretched out again, after trying to fight the urge to actually wake up, continuing to want to stay in bed. Blah, she felt... blah, it was the only word that she could think to describe the way she was feeling. Maybe she just needed some coffee. It had been a late night the previous night and she ended up not eating any dinner. Matt had been out at an aldermen's meeting plus a vote and afterwards had adjourned to eat a meal with a few aldermen from the neighbouring wards. Her, on the other hand, well put it this way Gabby couldn't remember if she had even had time to stop and think during her shift at Molly's last night. Matt had picked her up on his way past and once they had reached home, it was pyjamas and crawling into bed with an attempt to sleep on her mind, even if Matt had had other plans. And he had most definitely gotten his way.

Shaking her head wryly at that memory Gabby struggled to drag her butt out of the bed and ultimately went to find Matt.

Padding softly down the stairs, she couldn't find him in the kitchen. Her eyes flicked towards the deck thinking he might have been outside, she shivered just thinking about it, although it was the height of summer, she was still felt a slight chill some mornings. But he wasn't. Doubling back on herself she began to walk towards the living room, she squashed up her nose at the smell of coffee that was wafting throughout the house. She finally found Matt, still in his sleeping gear, sitting on the couch flicking through channels on TV.

"Couldn't sleep either?" Matt asked.

Gabby looked down at him, startled slightly. She hadn't realised that he was even aware she was up and around, hadn't she been fairly quiet?

"Sorry… heard you coming down the stairs. You completely passed by me," he said in answer to her unspoken question, getting up to give her a kiss. "Coffee?"

She scrunched up her nose again and shook her head. Her stomach flipped at even the thought of food which caught her off guard, she must be getting old, and obviously she couldn't survive on just coffee and nuts for dinner with crazy hours at Molly's anymore. Somehow Matt managed to miss the grimace that flashed across her face.

"Should have had dinner last night. Think I need food before I'll feel normal again."

"No one stopped you last night," he told her, a twinkle in his eyes.

Gabby scoffed as she walked off towards their kitchen. "It's not like you gave me much of a choice," she teased back. "And why didn't you bring me something to eat anyway? What sort of husband are you?" she chuckled and sauntered off without waiting for an answer.

Coming back in, she soon settled herself down on the couch with a piece of toast. Matt soon leant over and cheekily took a bite out of her toast.

"Where's my coffee?" came the muffled question from his toast filled mouth.

"Huh?"

Matt swallowed and tried again. "Where's my coffee?"

"You've already had a coffee. Matt, you really didn't need the extra caffeine," she pointed to the empty mug on the coffee table.

"Pfft…. First one! Coffee?" he asked hopefully.

Gabby simply held up her juice, intent on withholding caffeine from him. "Yeah, that's yours. Now where's my coffee?"

"Didn't want any."

"Again, that's you! But where is mine?" Matt pestered, reaching out for another bite of toast.

"It's in the kitchen, along with your toast," came the reply as she swung the toast out of Matt's grasp.

Matt grinned, stood and swiped her toast completely from her hands on his way out.

Gabby started to protest, leant out to swat his butt and stood up ready to claim her toast back. Matt managed to dodge out of her grasp and scooted towards the kitchen.

A slight groan brought Matt back into view and was faced with the sight of his wife bent over slightly, hand to the abdomen with a grimace on her face.

"Gabs..."

Gabby looked up. "Where's your coffee?" she mocked, trying to keep the pain out of her voice.

"You don't look well," he told her as he walked over to help her back down onto the couch. His face held a concerned look as he lowered her down, pulling a blanket off the back of the couch to drape over her.

"I'm fine, it's just a bit of cramping."

"Come on babe, let's get you back to bed. Or at least for a warm shower, you know how much that will make you feel better," concern dripping from his voice. Gabby couldn't have ever asked for a more devoted partner, he would always know what to do when she wasn't feeling quite right.

"I'm okay… And I know where a shower with you will go," Gabby commented, a sparkle flashing in her eyes.

"Gabby, baby you don't look ok."

She flung her hand out to smack him on the chest, a touch harder than she had first intended and had to pull her a throbbing hand as Matt tried to hold in a laugh. "Geez, just what every woman wants to hear…"

"You know what I mean."

"Honestly, just cramps!"

"Are you sure that's all?"

"Yes Matt," she replied, kissing him and pushing him off the couch. Pointing towards the kitchen, "Go!"

"Are you sure you're okay?" Matt continued to probe.

"Matthew!" Gabby snapped at him. Matt tried to hold back a grin, he loved when she got slightly worked up and called him by his full name, not that he would ever admit to that. It wouldn't be worth the pain.

"Just asking."

"Yeah, well don't. I'm fine. Now go," she ordered in a sharp tone

"Touchy," muttered Matt under his voice on his way out. A few seconds later a pillow hit the back of his head. He looked back over his shoulder to find Gabby wiggling around in what seemed like an attempt to get comfortable, yet he was wise enough not to make any more mention of it.

Gabby was still feeling blah, actually, she was starting to pin pointed it down to essentially feeling bloated. At least that's what she thought she was feeling. She shifted her legs underneath herself trying desperately to get comfortable somehow, her knee aching slightly. This wasn't the way that she was planning on spending her day off; it had been a while since they both had had a day off at the same time without any plans to do anything, no Molly's and no construction, no nothing! Each time they had recently had a day off Matt had been called into work, so many times that they had stopped planning on doing something specific on those shared days off. Well, to be honest, it was Gabby who had stopped planning stuff.

"Eugh," she said quietly to herself. She blamed Matt; she still technically hadn't had breakfast and that's why she felt this way. "Matt?" she called out.

"Yeah?" came the distant reply.

"If you're still doing toast, can I have some too? Since it's your fault anyway!"

"Huh? How do you work that out crazy?" he teased back.

"What!?" Gabby was getting worked up again; it was like going from zero to a hundred in a second. "You… You… You took my toast, I only got a bite!"

Matt slid through the hallway that connected the living room to the kitchen area with a cocky smirk on his face, a plate of toast in one hand, coffee in the other and watched Gabby squirm on the couch. The smirk disappeared the longer he watched her, she didn't even seem her usual colour, he could just tell that something wasn't quite right. And he knew that the gorgeous woman that he was able to call his wife would never tell her what really happening and if she wasn't feeling right.

"Are you sure that everything is okay?" he questioned the concern evident in his voice, as he brushed some hair out of her face letting his fingers rest on her cheek

There was no reply, rather all he got was 'the look'.

"What? Am I not allowed to be concerned? You just look a bit pale and you're obviously uncomfortable."

"Thanks," came the sarcastic response.

"You know what I mean…" he surrendered, "Toast?" he asked as he waved the plate under her nose.

Quietly she took a piece. Matt smiled as he leant down to place a kiss on her lips.

"Yuck," she exclaimed, giving him a little push away. "You taste like coffee."

"You've never had a problem before."

"Yuck," she reiterated.

Breakfast continued in a quiet fashion, as did the rest of their morning. Gabby really couldn't be bothered to do too much that day. She knew the minute that she planned something or they went out the door Matt would get a phone call either relating to his alderman position or some construction gig. He had even been called into Fire Headquarters once or twice recently, along with Kelly. Something about equipment and how the department could best spend their money. It had become a sore point with them, the fire department had those higher ups to work on their budget, they shouldn't need Matt for that. And if she was honest with herself she was quite happy just chilling at their house and not doing too much. They had worked so hard on this house together, that she simply wanted to enjoy and relax in it.

Matt leant against the wall of their home office, looking into their living room where Gabby had seemed to be camped out on the couch, she had barely moved all day. She had snuggled down into the cushions on the couch and wrapped herself in blankets. He was enjoying just spending time watching her, soaking it all in. Their lives had been so hectic lately; so busy to the point that they barely spent any time together, just the two of them. So this was nice, just being at home and enjoying each other's company. However, the longer that Matt watched Gabby the more he became aware that something wasn't right.

Every so often a grimace would pass over her features and she would move herself around in an attempt to be comfier on the couch. Then every now and again she would be rubbing her lower abdomen, her hand moving in circles.

"Gabs," he called, breaking her reverie.

"Hmmm?" came the vague reply.

"Are you sure that everything is alright? You seem to be in a bit of pain."

"It's nothing. Just a bit of cramping. It's just that time of the month," she shrugged.

Matt looked her up and down; the uncertainty could be seen in his eyes.

"Case, don't be such a worrier. It happens every month," Gabby informed him, rolling her eyes... Boys!

Matt still didn't look convinced. Before he had time to open his mouth to reply, his phone rang. He glared at the offending device before swiping it off the coffee table. "Matt Casey," he answered.

Gabby inwardly groaned as she heard him answer in what she referred to as his 'Alderman Casey, what do you want?' voice.

'Unbelievable,' she thought to herself. 'This always happens!' She didn't even bother tuning into his side of the conversation, she knew he would be out the door in a matter of minutes.

"Gabby, I'm really sorry. I've just got to nick out to the academy, there's talk about rotating around some of the lieutenants and captains to teach a few classes here and there. Most of the upper members may be called on; it won't surprise me if the some of the paramedic field chiefs and PICs have to get involved too. Like Kelly taught you at the Academy. I swear I'll try to be as fast as I can. Then we can work on this relaxing thing you've got going."

Shaking her head, she replied, "Why do they want you?" she teased. "Severide I understand, big strong strapping Squad lieutenant. You're just Truck," she finished with a cheeky smile

Matt didn't grace her with a reply; he simply gave her a raised eyebrow look and gave her a quick hard kiss before he grabbed his keys before heading out the door.

The only thing was Gabby still wasn't feeling well. The cramping she was feeling was only mild, but something was different and she couldn't quite put her finger on it. But she didn't want Matt to make a fuss, rather she just let him go off to see to work.

Gently she lay her head back on the couch wondering what it might be. Mulling it over for a few moments she finally decided that it had been a rough few days with very little sleep and obviously she hadn't been eating as well as she should have. 'Run down, that's what it must be,' she decided as she turned the TV on.

It wasn't that she would get that run down all that often, but the few times she had come down with the flu it had knocked her about. Last winter she had even had to take a few shifts off from the firehouse, but it was the middle of summer. There was no reason for her to have a cold. Casting her mind back over the past few weeks, she thought about what had been going on in their lives. Sylvie and she had been on some runs that others would call 'rough', but after working at 51 for so many years Gabby had come to expect these type of runs as the norm.

In her mind, there was nothing out of the ordinary. As per normal, Matt had been quite busy with all of his various jobs, but no more than normal. Antonio had visited a few times, something that had become more and more the norm since they had moved into this place, no one could ever accuse the Dawson siblings of not being close. Gabby had always been grateful for having her older brother so close to her. There was nothing, or next to nothing, that Gabby and Antonio didn't share. Their relationship was one that Gabby would never trade, she watched her friends around her and was forever grateful for how close they were, especially when she watched Matt and Christine together. Over the past five or so years, she had watched the Casey siblings grow slightly closer, but it still wasn't the same. They were both still holding back, both scared of what might happen if either opened themselves up. The hurt had run deep with them. And it doesn't matter what Gabby did, there wasn't going to be some magical cure and a sudden fix to their relationship. She couldn't fault them, they were both trying to make an effort, but it was always going to be hard to undo that many years of hurt and what some might see as a betrayal. Matt did try to be there for Violet, any time he could, but sometimes trying to encourage Christine to try to understand his busy schedule was hard. It was the fact that he was effectively holding down three jobs and wasn't always able to come at the drop of a hat, that Christine struggled to understand. Gabby had unfortunately witnessed a few shouting matching between the brother and sister recently over Matt's inability to commit to family plans that had been sprung on them at the last minute. She understood where Matt was coming from, they themselves needed to do a fair amount of planning and organising to even get all the Dawsons together, heck it was had been just as hard when it was just Gabby and Antonio to get together.

It caused Gabby to think about siblings, she had always felt slightly guilty that she hadn't made more of an effort with Christine; Matt and Antonio were close, it seemed like they always had been and they never seemed to have to work at it, it was a natural brotherly relationship. It wasn't unusual for Gabby to arrive home to find the boys outside on the deck drinking. However Gabby had struggled more with Christine, there was very little common ground between the two girls. She knew that her sister-in-law was a lovely person, it was just that she didn't spend a heap of time with her and hadn't been able to form bonds with her. Even when Louie was in their lives, he had only met Christine and Violet twice in six months, whereas he would go running toward Antonio screaming "TIOOOOO!" every time he would catch a glimpse of the older detective.

And she wanted that relationship for Matt and Christine, being around for Violet was important to her. Family was significant to her, Gabby knew that. Pondering for a few moments, Gabby decided that the next clear day off they had, they would get together with Christine and Violet, a family dinner or something. Time to make more of an effort to mending bridges, she decided.

As she began to watch Outlander, she let her eyes flutter shut, which was where Matt found her several hours later, so much for that short meeting. Asleep, TV still blaring. Matt shuffled quietly towards the couch, collecting the remote from the ground as he went. With a casual flick of his wrist, he had turned the TV off, as he glanced around himself. He was sure that he hadn't been away for too long, and even after their busiest days at the firehouse, he could probably count a number of times that Gabby had taken a nap on one hand. It was quite concerning to him, he pondered what it was causing it all, as he carefully swept her up into his arms bridal style. She was obviously dead to the world, whilst she wasn't usually the heaviest sleeper, any time that Matt had picked her up in the past she would have stirred however slightly. But today her eyelids hadn't even flicked.

Kicking the bedroom door softly Matt made his way into their room looking at the usually made bed. Something just wasn't right, Gabby would always make the bed in the morning, no matter what time of the day it was that she rolled out of bed. Hmm, Matt pondered silently. Easing himself onto the edge of the bed, Matt brushed the hair out of her face, brushing a kiss on her forehead.

"Sleep well, Babe."


	3. Chapter 3

**And it's Friday night again… Well actually, Saturday morning... Time for an update. I've enjoyed reading everyone's thought about what they think might be happening in the story :D Interested to see who might be right and who might have thought it's heading in a different direction...** **Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favourited and chatted to me on Twitter, I'm loving the interaction that comes with the fan base! How many more weeks til our show starts again?**

 **As always to Rebecca for EVERYTHING! Even 'listening' to me rant that I don't know what to write some days. And to Junko for doing a great Robert Chase impression and reminding me to update :D**

 **Hope this chapter is enjoyable. ~Em**

* * *

Casey sighed as he shut the door to his office at the firehouse. They had only been on shift for 15 minutes before Ambo 61 had had their first callout of the shift. Really there was nothing too new about that; Firehouse 51 was one of the busier houses in the Chicago city area and it did tend to be that the Ambo was one of the busiest rigs in the house. Even Squad didn't get as busy as them. Throwing himself into his chair Casey regarded the pile of paperwork that was stacked on his desk. Glancing through them, some were alderman's reports, the rest were reports that had managed to pile up on him, he did need to take those alderman reports home and sort through them. Boden had called him out on it after roll call that morning. And Casey had to admit that he was being very slack with his reports at the moment, a very unlike him move. The house had been so busy over the last few days that both Severide and Casey had been lax with their paperwork, there just didn't seem to be enough hours to get it all done and he hadn't fancied doing any overtime to get it all finished, so the pile had simply grown and grown.

Two hours later Casey was finally able to throw the pen across his desktop, he had filed his alderman paperwork on his side table believing that it could wait for a few days, or he could take it home. After dropping his paperwork off with Connie, he stuck his head into Severide's office. He watched for a few moments as Severide tapped his pen repeatedly on the desk, gazing off into the distance. It was obvious to anyone who walked by that Severide still had a large stack of papers that needed to be worked on.

"How much more?" Casey asked with a grin on his face. Severide threw him a withering look as he gestured to the huge pile on his left. "How slowly are you writing?"

"How did you get through your pile so damn fast? Oh right, you're on Truck, much less paperwork… You remember that it's _squad_ that does the hard work," he mocked.

Casey gave him an incredulous look as the bells rang, announcing that the whole house was required to attend a house fire. Glancing at each other, Severide scraped his chair back along the floor as they rushed towards their respective rigs. Casey glanced around looking for his wife, he hadn't seen her since roll call and whilst he had been holed up in his office, he was sure that she hadn't been around the house much in the last few hours. He watched as Dawson propelled herself out the back of the Ambo, exhaustion evident in the way she moved. Casey stuck his hand out to catch her wrist as she hurried by, the shock was noticeable on her face.

"Be safe out there," he told her, pressing a kiss to her temple.

Dawson gave him a weary smile as she replied, "And you keep your badge off the wall."

Casey watched her for a moment longer before turning to his own crew. "Ok, let's roll," he ordered clambering into his seat.

* * *

The truck crew emptied out of the rig awaiting orders as they watched the flames burn near-on out of control when they pulled up at the scene minutes later. Squad would be coming from the other direction and hadn't arrived yet. Boden was placing his helmet on as he surveyed the scene. Looking over at Casey, he nodded before ordering Mouch and Otis to start venting the house, sending the rest of the team in to do a search, telling them that Squad would be moments behind them.

Taking the first room, Casey motioned for Herrmann and Borelli to go in further to continue searching as Kidd followed him to complete their primary search.

"Lieutenant?" came Herrmann's voice a short time later. "We've got two people here, but the rest of the floor seems clear."

"Okay… Let's get them out of here. I don't like the way the fire is spreading. Don't think we've got much time left."

"Casey," came Boden's voice. "Squad is coming in; they will finish the search of the upper level. I want the rest of you out."

"Copy that Chief… Let Ambo know that we have two people coming out with Herrmann and Borelli… Smoke is getting thick in here too," Casey commented as he watched his two firefighters drag the victims past him. Nodding as he passed Severide at the door, Casey left to seek fresh air knowing that his tank would be nearly out of oxygen soon. As he reached the front door, his foot came into contact with something soft, looking down he saw a stuffed toy bear, swiping it up, he left the house.

Nearing the Ambo, he heard erratic laughter, not something that was 'normal' for the situation like this. Dawson could be heard calling for another backup rig as well. Surveying the scene Casey made his way over to where Boden was standing with Dawson. The young man was on the gurney where Jimmy was trying to hold him down as Brett attempted to administer oxygen to him. The woman was sitting on the ground, surrounded by Mouch, Herrmann and Kidd, laughing in-between coughs. Casey raised an eyebrow at Dawson, questioning her silently as to the situation.

"High as a kite," supplied Boden. "Both of them."

"Track marks all up and down their arms and I don't know what they've taken or smoked as of yet. Best thing is to get them to Med and let them deal with it there," advised Dawson as she watched as Brett nearly get smacked in the face by the flailing arms of her patient. "I think the Ambo en route can take him, I don't want Brett in the back with him."

"We're coming out," Severide's voice came over the radio.

Casey paused to assess what was happening around him, something just wasn't right. Looking down at the soft toy in his hand, was there still someone in the house? Were there children that lived here? Could Squad have somehow missed them? Striding over to the woman he questioned, "Ma'am is there anyone else in the house?" She could only laugh in response. Casey crouched down to look her in the eye. "Ma'am it's very important that you listen to me… Now do you have children? Were they in the house with you? Think… _children_!"

She continued to laugh in Casey's face. Grabbing her wrists, Casey tried one more time, forcing her to face him. "Think carefully, are your children at home?"

More hysterical laughter met him before she responded, "Of course they are home...Too little to get out… Not important…" as she dissolved into fits of more laughter. Casey's eyes widen as he met Herrmann's worried look.

"Chief," Casey turned to run back towards the house. "Their children are still in there." Herrmann was hot on his heels.

"Casey, you've only got five minutes at the most. Take Herrmann and Severide can take his crew. Do a quick search, five minutes! No more," Boden warned.

Casey nodded in response, giving Dawson a look that she knew to mean 'get extra hands to the scene.' Meeting Severide at the door, Matt positioned his respirator over his face, turned Severide back towards the house, "Their children are still in there," he told the other lieutenant urgently.

Storming up the stairs, watching as the flames danced around him, Casey started searching the first room he found. Frantically he looked in every small hiding spot he could see, hampered greatly by the low visibility. "Lieutenant?" came Herrmann's low voice, "I'm in the next room, I've found them. They are hiding behind the toy box," relief evident in his voice.

Casey hurried in, along with Severide to find Herrmann trying to help a young boy out of his hiding spot. Still held in his small arms was a young baby, strangely not crying. That's how they had been missed in the first search, they were so quiet and well hidden away, no one would think to look there. Casey swooped in to cuddle the baby into his muscular arms, throwing his jacket around him to protect him from the heat and flames. Once the baby was secure in Casey's arms, Herrmann took the boy into his own arms and started for the door.

Coming face to face with Brett and Dawson, both firefighters were able to hand over their precious cargo to the waiting arms of the paramedics. Casey shared a look with Dawson before marching over the father who was about to be loaded into the back of another Ambo, the mother was not in sight. Fury was rolling off of him and he wasn't able to stop himself, "How could you? How stupid do you have to be to forget about your own child?" he hissed getting in the man's face. Watching as the man continued to grin stupidly only caused him to ramp up his anger. Grabbing the man's face and forcing him to look at him, Casey's voice rose a few decibels, "You think this is funny? Leaving your own flesh and blood? You were going to let them BURN!"

"CASEY!" came Boden's powerfully firm voice. "Walk it off," he ordered, pointing in the opposite direction.

"You disgust me," Casey spat out before walking away from the rig and towards the truck. "Pack it up 81, let's go." Avoiding Dawson's intense stare, he climbed into the truck, tossing his helmet onto the dash.

Herrmann carefully watched his lieutenant on the short drive back to the house All the noise around him in the truck and Casey was simply retreating into himself further and further. Herrmann had never seen Casey react the way that he had just witnessed. Whilst the mood inside the Truck was sombre, the chatter was still happening with Casey staring out of the window. This worried Herrmann... now what was he going to do about it?

* * *

Casey slammed his door and slid down the door, slamming his fists down on the ground, he couldn't even bear to sit at his desk and start the report yet. Suddenly, it occurred to him that this was what it was like for Herrmann every time that they had to deal with young children on a call. How Herrmann managed to pretty much keep his emotions in check during some of these shifts was something that Casey marvelled at. Losing his cool again, Casey slammed his palm onto the ground again, hissing in agony as he felt pain shoot through his arm. Growling slightly, he stood up and roughly closed his blinds before picking up a pen intent on starting on his reports.

Reflecting for a few moments, he didn't know how to even start the report. Thoughts raced through his mind, how cruel could people be… How could some people even become parents? And then it struck him. He had been here before, not once but twice - once with their angel and again with Louie. A few days after he and Gabby had begun to sort their mess out after she had started to foster Louie, Matt had been sitting back in the apartment she was staying at and was watching the love of his life playing with the young boy. The same emotions flashed through his body now just like it had that day so many months ago. Gabby, in front of him, was a gentle person who had so much love to give, even if they had seemed to experience some miscommunication about having Louie in their lives. But there Louie was being showered with love by not only himself and Gabby, but also the entire firehouse and extended Dawson family. Yet at the same time he thought about Louie's life before he had come to them and what it must have been like for him with a foster parent who was a user, how did that even happen? Casey still couldn't comprehend this at all.

Without realising it, tears had formed in Casey's eyes as he thought back even further to their baby who hadn't made it. They had barely known about the baby before they had lost it, never heard a heartbeat, never found out if it was a boy or a girl. As much as they had said to each other, Casey had sworn it to her, that they didn't get back together because of the baby but because they loved each other, he would be lying if he didn't admit that it had been a hard, hard road back to where they were now. Dawson had thrown herself back into work and then into fostering Louie and he himself into his alderman's career. If he could have sat the Captain's exam and known he would still stay at 51 he probably would have done that too. Anything to keep that stabbing pain of the loss of their baby out of his mind. And he could never understand why this had happened to them, there was no one who wanted to become a father more than he did.

Slamming his fist back on his table, he drew in a breath trying to keep the tears at bay. After that last call, he couldn't understand how people like that were able to have children when he and Dawson who had some much love to give weren't allowed the chance. What did they need to do? Who did they need to prove themselves to? Why weren't they parents yet? Obviously, there were people out there, proven by today's callout, that not everyone was fit to be a parent. Not every parent out there wanted to be parents, and every time he thought about it was like a punch in the gut. It just wasn't fair! After marrying Gabby the only thing he wanted was to have children with her, they didn't need to be biologically theirs - a fact that he had come to understand with Louie, but he would be lying to himself if he didn't catch himself imagining a little girl with his eye colour and her darkened skin running around their backyard with an older brother who was a splitting image of him with Gabby's chocolate hair chasing her. There was something primal about the image that Matt wasn't able to push away.

Tapping his pen on the desk as he looked over the report staring him in the face, he failed to find the words still... he couldn't write a single word. Rubbing a hand over his face, he leant his face against his propped up hand. Thinking, thinking, thinking about what he had seen and those young children who had been left in that house, all alone, without a soul to care for them. Feeling the anger bubbling within him, Casey picked up the glass jar of golf tees and hurled it at the wall behind his bunk, narrowly missing the window, watching as it broke into shards on the floor.

Without a knock on the door, it swung open. Casey barely looked up believing it to be either Dawson or Severide, no one else would dare come through that closed door without first asking permission. So his head snapped up as he heard a low gravelly voice.

"Lieutenant… You wanna talk about it?" If Herrmann was surprised at the scene that lay in front of him, he didn't let on. He let himself fully into the officer's quarters and closed the door silently behind himself.

Casey watched intently as his second in command settled himself against the door, both men waiting for the other to talk. Seconds ticked by, but Herrmann knew that Casey was the type to deal with his problems by not dealing with them. He watched as a range of angry faces flitted over Casey's face, allowing him to feel those emotions and just waited for a point where he knew that his lieutenant would be ready to talk about it.

"How do you do it Christopher?" he muttered. Herrmann's face turned towards him, inwardly shocked at both his tone and choice of words. In the entire time, he had known Casey he could probably count the amount of time he had been called by his first name on one hand. It spoke to the depths of torment that Casey was suffering through. "Does it ever get easier?"

"What? Seeing the children as we did today?" Herrmann hung his head. " 'Tenant as much as I want to tell you that it will get better, we both know that it wouldn't be true. Do I want to slap these type of people in the head? Of course, I do… But I also know that you and Chief don't want to be bailing me out of District 21, Cindy would have me in the doghouse," he commented with a slight chuckle.

Looking around himself, Herrmann clasped a hand on top of Casey's shoulder, thinking hard as to what were going to be the next words out of his mouth. Herrmann knew the key to helping him out wasn't going to be much comfort to this lieutenant at all. Casey's gaze continued to stay glued to the floor, trying to find some way to get through the shift and deal with that he had seen. Shaking his head slightly, Casey couldn't work out what it was specifically about this job that was making him react the way he was, reacting and feeling the way he did. There were so many times over his career that they had had to rescue families, little children, or even situations that were similar to this one. But watching those parents standing there laughing in a drug induced high as they seemed to have no interest that their young children were stuck in a burning building, made him furious. Taking a deep breath Casey brought his hand down flat on his desk.

"I just don't understand why…" he murmured, Herrmann struggling to hear what he said, it was as if Casey was talking to himself. He wrestled with what he should say to Casey, the young lieutenant wasn't the type of man to talk about his problems, rather he would just bury himself in his work and not talk to anyone. Herrmann looked out at the window into the clear bunkroom, wondering if Gabby was back from her hospital run.

"Casey, I don't know what to tell you. My family keeps me going. Days like today, when it involves young families, children like we saw... It can feel like everything is going to get on top of you and you don't understand how or why… But I know that I'll go home at the end of a shift and hug Cindy and give those five kids of mine an extra tight hug," Herrmann paused for a moment, regarding his superior before plowing on, "Matt…" he dropped the level of his voice, "I can't presume to know how you feel about this. And I know that my saying I go home to my kids is how I deal with this is not what is helpful for you right now. But I want you to know that you will get through this, focus on the future. The one you have with Dawson…"

"I just don't understand it, Christopher… Gabby would make an amazing mother, yet that chance has been taken away from her not once, but twice. And then to rub it in, there are those parents like we saw today. They have two young beautiful children, who through no fault of their own, have parents who don't care about them. They were more interested in getting their high than anything else in the world. And that I don't understand," Casey's voice began to crack slightly.

"Don't try and understand it Lieut, there is nothing good that can come out of that. Some people aren't meant to be parents, it doesn't mean they won't be though. And trying to make sense of it all, it's just going to tie you up in knots. You are always telling us, not to get involved, compartmentalise. Lieutenant… Matt... I know you give the best advice, I've heard it so many times from you before. Sometimes you don't even know when you're giving it, but you do. So take it from an older firefighter, don't let this eat you up. Don't let it twist your guts into knots. Go talk to Dawson. Say what you think, what you feel… Together you can work through this."

Herrmann moved towards the door after squeezing his shoulder one more time.

"Herrmann… thank you."

* * *

 **Let me know what you think – here or on Twitter! Always happy to chat**


	4. Chapter 4

**As always I am blown away by the people who have taken the time to review or have a chat to me on Twitter, it is all so appreciated.**

 **I do usually try to update every Friday night, just to keep people in the loop. So keep an eye out for it each week, fingers crossed I can keep up with this schedule.**

 **Thanks to R for her continuing support... I first started talking about this fic with her not long after I posted my first CF one shot. So for weeks now she has been patiently going through and editing this story for me and helping me with everything. Thanks R...**

 **On with the story**

* * *

"Babe?" Gabby called through the house as she packed the rest of her bag. It was still fairly early in the morning, but if she didn't get a move on she was going to be late. "Matt? I've got to go!" she hollered.

"What?" Matt queried as he came down the stairs. Gabby stopped in her tracks to take in the sight of him sans shirt, his dirty blonde hair still mussed from the night, she loved it. If she didn't have to go to work, she would have marched him straight back upstairs to take advantage of that big shower in their master bathroom.

"You're dressed," Matt commented as he ran a hand through his hair in an attempt to flatten it down slightly, he was sure that it would be sticking up at all angles at the moment. He just couldn't quite work out why Gabby was dressed at all. He glanced around the kitchen, there was no breakfast to speak of, just Gabby's work bag.

"Good observation," Gabby replied dryly as he reached her, taking her into his arms before ghosting his lips over her neck. "Let me rephrase… you're overly dressed for our day off," he mumbled as he lifted his head back from her.

"About that…" Gabby picked at the non-existent spot on her t-shirt and backed away from him imperceptibly. "The house rang. Lieutenant Fitzpatrick wanted to know if I was able to come in and do a shift with for him. He had one of his truck members call in sick and there just isn't anyone that he could find to take his spot," she apprised him as he ran a hand over his face, sighing in the process. He screwed up his face trying to think of the words he would use to show his displeasure without frustrating Gabby. Noticing this, Gabby understood that she needed to reassure Matt that is was something that was crucial for her to do today.

"Matt, I haven't been on Truck for months. I need to do this," she pleaded.

"Babe, it means that by the time we get to our shift you're already going to have been working for 24 hours, it's going to be a lengthy 48 hours."

"Come on Matt, it's not like you haven't done it before. Lots of the guys have," she reasoned.

"But the guys…." he started only to be cut off by a death stare from the shorter woman in front of himself. There was no doubt in his mind that she could take him on, anytime she wanted too.

"So..." she dragged out, giving him the evil eye, "You're saying that because I'm a female I can't do this?"

"I didn't say that Gabby…" he took her hands into his big firm ones, rubbing a thumb over the back of them. "It's just that 48 hours is a long shift, especially since you haven't worked Truck for a while."

"All the more reason to go and actually do a shift."

"Gabby you've been so tired all week. I've never seen you take naps in the middle of the day. Yesterday you took forever to get out of bed and then you had a nap plus you pulled out of a shift at Molly's and crashed on the couch. Are you sure about this shift?"

"I've already said yes. I'm not asking for your permission Matt, I'm _telling_ you. Now I've got to go, already missed roll call."

"So Fitz won't be expecting you just yet, we could take a quick shower first," he suggested with a raised eyebrow.

Gabby laughed at the thought. "I missed the very _short_ roll call, but I'm sure he'd notice if I wasn't there for a few hours."

"Few hours? Tickets on yourself there Mrs Casey," taunted Matt as he grabbed her around the waist, letting a finger draw lazy circles on her shoulder whilst pushing her bag off her shoulder, allowing it to drop to the ground. Pulling her around, suddenly his lips were on hers, desperate and searingly hot, leaving her breathless as she dug her nails into his bare back. Before she was even aware of it, she was moaning at the loss of contact.

"Keep your badge off the wall," he told her sincerely before departing, leaving her red, breathless and wanting him more.

* * *

Gabby came racing into the common room of 51 to be greeted by faces she just wasn't used to seeing.

"Lieutenant?" she questioned nervously, not completely believing the butterflies that she was experiencing, what was that all about? First Watch was definitely the shift that she would have rather worked with if she couldn't work for Matt. Fitzpatrick was open to having a female on shift and most of the truck members weren't old school enough that they would have a problem with her. "Sorry about roll call," she apologised.

Fitzpatrick turned from his morning coffee. "Daws… Casey. Thanks for working this shift for me. Let me introduce you," he hurried on, knowing that any minute there was likely to be a call. "On Truck, we have Lemke and Chauffeur Stewart over there at the table; Engineer Doherty, there with the TV," he pointed out. The guys all nodded or waved in greeting. Fitzpatrick shook his head at the burly guy who entered in search of food, "And I'm assuming you know Lieutenant Nelson, one of those squad guys," he mocked. Nelson tipped his head as he walked past. "And finally this is our new candidate, Robinson," he finished as he motioned a hand in the general area of the kitchen. Gabby took each of them in, their candidate seems very reserved, more so than the normal candidate would, their last few had been quiet but still interacted with the rest of team. This one though looked down right scared, anyway, moving on she filed this in the back of her mind.

"Hey listen up Truck… This is Gabby Casey, she's from second shift. You on Engine these days? Not Truck right?" he verified.

"I'm the PIC on Ambo 61 now," she confirmed.

"Not a firefighter?" Nelson commented, judgement evident in his voice.

"I was Truck 51, but when I fostered a little boy I moved back to Ambo. Shifts like this allow me to keep my hand in the business, so to speak." She hoped that the men in front of her wouldn't question her anymore... whilst she had somewhat made peace with the fact that she didn't have Louie anymore it wasn't a subject that she liked to dwell on. Luckily everyone except Nelson seemed to drop the subject.

Nelson scoffed slightly. "Wonder what Severide says…" he muttered, pushing past the Truck members heading towards the door.

"Well, she comes highly recommended by Chief Boden. So that's good enough for me Lieutenant," a stern new voice joined the conversation. Gabby looked up to see Chief Morgan walking through the common room.

"Chief Morgan," she greeted, moving towards him. "Thank you for having me on your shift."

Morgan simply nodded at her as he moved towards the food. Gabby glanced around one more time, this shift seemed to have more of a traditional approach to the different rigs, there was a clear separation between Truck and Squad. And she hadn't even seen a member of Engine yet.

"So Casey, you got everything you need. Firefighting gear still around? Turnout coat and everything?"

Gabby nodded as she ticked off the items in her mind. "Yes… coat, pants and boots out on the floor, which reminds me left or right side?"

"Hmmm… You're in for Davis, back left side," Fitzpatrick confirmed. "Any other questions?"

Gabby opened her mouth to confirm that she was all good but was cut off by the bells and speaker announcing that they were all needed. Slipping her socked feet into her work boots she felt a rush course through her. Settling herself opposite to the First Watch candidate, she placed her helmet on her head and rested it on the back of the truck seat, allowing herself to enjoy the butterflies that had begun to fly around in her stomach again. Whilst it concerned her that it had been over quite a few months since she had been on Truck, she was sure that it was all going to come back to her.

Gabby was right, running into that burning building and everything that came with it had come flooding back to her. She had missed that, she missed the thrill and it seemed that First Watch worked as well as a team as the Second Watch did. She had just fitted right in with them... seamlessly.

"So Casey?" Robinson's voice came across unsure as Truck arrived back to the house after their first call of the shift. It almost sounded like he wasn't even sure if he was allowed to speak or not.

"Hmm?" Gabby turned around, putting her station boots back on. "What is it?" she asked after a beat of silence. She looked up to find most of the Truck Company heading back towards the common room and Robinson stopping to look at her and then her turnout coat and then back again.

Gabby shook her head and headed towards the common room.

"Casey?" the unsure voice came across again. "I have a question, it's kinda personal and I'm a bit confused."

"You cook Candidate and I might answer it," she replied as she headed towards the coffee machine.

"It's just that everyone is calling you Casey… But your turnout coat has the tag Dawson?" His eyes were wide with questions.

"Yeah it's the right coat," she confirmed.

"Well?"

"Lieutenant," Gabby called out. "Don't you remind your candidates of the rules of being a candidate; 'keep your mouth shut'?" she finished with a twinkle in her eye.

The candidate's face drained of colour as Gabby tried to keep her face straight. "Breathe Candidate," Gabby advised. "It's not that interesting of a story."

"Not interesting?" chuckled Fitzpatrick. "How she is even allowed to work in this house is amazing," he laughed as Robinson's face turned confused.

"Dawson is my maiden name," Gabby confirmed. "I was Second Watch's candidate on Truck a few years ago, moved over from Ambo. So all of my truck gear still has DAWSON written all over it. I never got it replaced after I got married and I'm back on Ambo so I don't need the same gear anymore."

"How does that conflict with you being at this house?"

"Ask her who her husband is," piped up Doherty from the couch. Poor young Robinson was looking more and more confused, letting the pot he was holding clatter to the benchtop.

"Matt Casey, the Second Watch Truck Lieutenant is my husband." The confused look didn't let up from his face. "You do realise that married couples can not serve in the same company, right?"

"Hence the amazement that they are even allowed to be on the same watch," Fitzpatrick teased.

"Lieut… You're just jealous," Doherty commented with a smile.

"Don't let his girlfriend hear that," joined in Lemke, a wide smile adorning his face. "Or maybe do… He might be forced into actually making an honest woman out of her finally." Fitzpatrick threw a pen in the general direction of his laughing men.

Gabby laughed as she walked off to the bunk room with a smile on her face. It ended up being a fairly busy shift during the day for Truck 81. Gabby enjoyed every minute of the callouts, it had been so many months since she had been allowed to run into a burning building. She loved her life, but the renewed taste for firefighting was sparking inside of her.

Having a hectic day at 51 was something that Gabby was appreciative of in some ways. This was a way for her to dip her toes back into the job and also keep her current. She loved being a paramedic and whilst she knew there was no way for her to ever serve back on Truck at 51 with Matt, maybe one day, just one day she might be able to serve on Second Watch at another house. However, come 8 o'clock that night, she was exhausted and ready to put her head down on her pillow, which is what she ended up doing a mere half an hour later.

* * *

Her next conscious thought was when the bells rang through the house early the next morning. Turning onto her side Gabby saw the bright blue lights shining out announcing that it was only 4:30 and she felt that she hadn't actually slept at all.

"Come on Casey," Lemke called out as he went past her bunk, giving it a slight kick with his boot. "Structure fire, I hope you like those big fires." Gabby smiled to herself, they were her favourite. Clambering into the rig next to Doherty she settled herself down for the short ride towards the already rolling fire.

Gabby stood next to the truck, allowing her eyes time to adjust to bright early morning light combined with the roaring fire that was in front of her. "Hey Casey," Fitzpatrick nudged her gently. "I'm going to send Robinson with you to do a sweep. He usually sticks with Doherty or Davis, you okay with that?"

"Sure Lieutenant, don't want to change the dynamics of the team." Gabby nodded, quietly wondering to herself how this was going to play out. She needed to know that Robinson had her back at all times, and right now she wasn't too sure, but she'd follow the chain of command and speak to Fitzpatrick if and when needed.

"Right! Truck, heads up," Fitzpatrick's voice rang out over Squad and the sirens from Ambo. "Stewart and Lemke, you vent. Casey and Robinson, you clear the first floor. Doherty, you and I have the first on the right, Squad will go above us… And Robinson, you stay glued to Casey's hip, just like you do with any of us."

"Sir," the young firefighter confirmed. With that, Gabby lowered her body to the ground to organise her regulator, noticing the feet that passed her by. Who could possibly get themselves ready that fast? She couldn't possibly have slowed down that much in time she had been out.

"OI!" Doherty's voice roared out. "CANDIDATE! You do not go into the building without a regulator on! And you stay glued to Casey's hip… Glued! Do you hear me?" he questioned as he tightened his grip on Robinson's collar, yanking him back harshly.

"Truck! Squad," interrupted Chief Morgan. "In and out, we don't know how much time we have."

"Come on Candidate," Gabby swept past him. "On my hip, behind me, on my left at all times." Robinson nodded weakly as he trailed in after her. "Hey," she turned at the last possible second to face him. "You ready to go in there? I need to know that you have my back at all time. If you're not, I don't want you in there."

"Yes, ma'am. I'm good to go!" Gabby regarded him for a moment and nodded sharply and heading into the building.

"Fire Department call out! …Stay low Robinson… Check that room," she motioned. Slowly they moved checking each of the rooms, the smoke becoming thicker as the minutes ticked by. "Fire Department! Call Out!"

Gabby's radio crackled to life. "Casey… Robinson. Where you both at?" came Morgan's voice. Turning to look at Robinson behind her, her fingers fumbled for the radio. "One room left and then we're clear Chief."

"You've only got a few minutes Casey…. You too Fitzpatrick."

"Come on Robinson… last room!" Gabby cracked the door open, finding a young man struggling to breathe. Racing forward she knelt down beside the guy, he barely looked out of his teens. "Hey… hey… Stay low. Here," she finished, pulling her regulator off her head and placing it over his face. "Long steady breaths… Come on… Steady breaths," she began to cough slightly when the fire started to lick the walls. "Robinson, where are you?" Gabby turned to find the young candidate frozen and staring at the dancing flames.

"ROBINSON… I need you! I need help moving this guy… CANDIDATE!" Watching the still motionless firefighter, Gabby scrambled to find her radio. "Lieutenant, I need you... in the North-West... corner, three rooms... from the hall on the right…" she spluttered between coughs. She was spending too much time without her air. Tugging on the guy she managed to begin dislodging the man from the piece of furniture he was trapped under.

"Casey!" Doherty came rushing in, yanking the guy, pulling him to his feet. "You okay?"

Gabby nodded as she motioned towards Robinson who was being led out by Fitzpatrick. "Let's get out of here," she told him, one hand holding up the regulator to the injured man.

They were near the door when the man seemed to get a second wind and regained his bearings, as he looked around his eyes became wide. Within a second he had elbowed Gabby in chest hard causing her to gasp and stomped on Doherty's foot before taking off out of the door. Doherty turned to find Gabby struggling to breathe due to the knock to the lungs and smoke inhalation. Acting fast, he pulled her close to him, helping the young woman out of the burning building.

Gabby leant over, placing her hands on her knees trying to catch her breath in-between all of the coughing. Fitzpatrick came over to clap her on the back "Casey? You okay?" he lightly asked. Gabby was unable to answer and just gave him the thumbs up sign as her breathing slowed. "Okay," he replied as he handed over a drink bottle. "Good work in there by the way." Check one thing that Gabby didn't miss about working on Truck - the amount of smoke that she would inhale.

"CASEY!" Morgan's voice bellowed. Gabby looked up to find the Chief standing over her. "Go over to the Ambo and get yourself checked out."

"I'm fine Chief, just need... to catch my breath and get... myself a drink. It's the end of shift... boss, the next watch will have already... rolled in by the time we get back... If I'm not fine... in a few hours, I'll get myself… checked out…" she finally got out. She watched as Fitzpatrick and Morgan shared a look, having a conversation without words, until Morgan finally nodded his head.

"Ok everyone let's get defensive," Morgan announced.

* * *

It was well past 9 o'clock when Truck finally pulled back into the firehouse. Gabby stretched slightly in her seat before being the last to jump out. She watched as Chief Morgan pulled a frightened looking Robinson towards his/Boden's office.

"Casey," Fitzpatrick called out, stopping her short. "I just wanted to check everything was alright? What happened out there? In the room with Robinson. What was it?"

Gabby regarded him slowly for a moment or two, not too sure what she should be saying to the lieutenant. Was it her place to be calling out a candidate when she was only a relief? Struggling for a moment she took a deep breath, "Lieutenant… I'm sure that Robinson could be a good firefighter one day… But sir, he froze today. I know better than anyone that this is a hard job and it has its scary moments… We are all only human, but you need to know that every person, man or woman, on that truck under your command, will look after everyone's back… And today he didn't have my back," she honestly told him.

Fitzpatrick contemplated what she had said for a tick or two before nodding. "Good work today Casey. I'd have you on this company's truck anytime."

Gabby nodded as she pulled off her turnout coat, folding it over her arms as she watched Second Watch spill out onto the apparatus floor.

"Dawson," hollered Kidd. "I hope you brought the truck back in a decent manner girl." Gabby only shook her head as Matt approached her.

"How was it?" he swept her into his arms and gave her a quick hard kiss.

"Ergh!" shouted over Severide. "Get a room!"

"No time for that," joked Gabby as she turned back to Matt sliding a touch closer, laying her head on his chest for a moment. "It was good… Busy, but good."

"And their candidate? The one that Morgan is losing his temper on in Boden's office?" he asked, his baby blues boring straight into her's. Gabby shrugged slightly as she untangled herself from his grasp.

"I'll tell you about it later. First I need to get out of this gear." Matt raised an eyebrow with a slightly cheeky grin on his face. "Matt… honestly," she commented as she turned intent on heading for the showers. Gabby stopped abruptly mid-stride across the apparatus floor, closing her eyes, a similar wave that flowed over her three weeks ago came back to rear its' ugly head.

"Hey?" Matt stopped walking to take a step back to her, placing a hand on her arm. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," she spoke again shaking her head slightly. "I'm fine, it's nothing. Probably just lacking some sleep. Plus, it's been awhile since I've been on Truck, just wiped I suppose." Matt racked his eyes over her, a concerned look on his face.

"Casey!" Fitzpatrick's voice called out, laughing slightly when both Gabby and Matt's heads snapped towards his direction. "Wow, how does Second Watch manage with the two of you and your last names?" he joked.

"Casey," Matt commented pointing to himself, "Dawson," he finished, jerking a thumb in her direction.

Fitzpatrick only laughed. "Anyway Casey, good job today. If Second Watch ever wants to let you go, there's a spot on my truck for you anytime."

"Hey," teased Matt snaking an arm around her waist pulling her close. "Find your own wife Nick… She's not leaving Second Watch."

"Yeah!" Gabby joined in on the teasing. "But Truck was fun," she taunted Matt, twisting to look up at him.

"You'll keep," returned Matt.

"Well, I'll won't keep you both. Casey your wife did an amazing job on Truck. Casey... wait... no Dawson, if that coughing gets worse, I do think you should get it checked out," he farewelled.

"Thanks, Lieutenant, I'm fine," Gabby replied.

Matt waited until Fitzpatrick was out of sight, before pulling Gabby aside. "What was that about, this coughing problem?"

"Nothing…"

"Dawson…" Matt warned, his lieutenant's voice starting to creep in.

"Matt, I'm tired. I just want to jump into the shower before roll call and see if I can take a nap before Ambo gets a call out."

Matt sighed knowing that he wasn't going to get anywhere with her at the moment. She would talk to him when she was ready. "Well you are a bit smoky," he wrinkled his nose playfully.

"Hmph," she snorted as she gave him a push.

Reaching out a hand, he closed her fingers around her wrist to spin her back toward him. "Did you want some help washing your hair?" he whispered in her ear before crashing his lips onto hers. Gabby allowed herself to melt into the kiss as Matt brought his hands up to tangle into her hair. Matt pushed her backwards, taking a few steps before her back came into contact with the cold metal of the truck. Gabby moaned slightly into his mouth, as he deepened the kiss. He broke away slowly, allowing them to catch their breaths. "Do you know how hot you are in that turnout gear?" he mentioned.

Gabby smirked slightly, hooking her fingers into his belt loops yanking him closer. "I might have some idea," she commented. Matt raised his eyebrows before leaning down again, allowing themselves a few moments to enjoy each others company.

"Oi!" Severide's voice broke through their moment, ruining it for them yet again. "Don't you have a big enough house of your own to do that?" he baited.

Casey gave him a look, before releasing Gabby and pushing her towards the showers. "I'll see you in my office later."

"Keep it at home Case," called out Severide. "None of us need to see that!"

Gabby shook her head at the two of them as she walked towards the locker rooms.

* * *

Dawson walked into Casey's office, tying up her damp hair in the process. "The smoke smell does take some time to rid itself of you, doesn't it? …Did I miss roll call again? Seems like everyone is scattered around the house," she paused as he nodded his head. "Well that's two calls in a row that I've missed," she commented cheekily.

"So how was it? Am I going to lose you to another Truck company?" he joked. Casey looked up as he heard Dawson sniff slightly. "Baby?" He took her into his arms and lead them towards the bed after making sure that the door was firmly shut. "Gabby what is it?"

"Nothing," she tried to shrug him off as she shook her head at him. There was nothing that Casey needed to know. She knew that she had to be strong, that even after being out of the truck for over twelve months, she needed to know that she could still do it. "It's just today when Robinson, the First Watch candidate… he was supposed to be glued to my hip… And when I needed him the most… He froze. Thank God for Doherty or I may never have gotten the man out," she finished as she drew in a shaky breath. "And it's my fault that he's been dressed down by the chief. I spoke out about him."

"Hey, look at me…" he hooked a finger under her chin forcing her to look up at him, the tears beginning to form in her eyes. "You did nothing wrong. We need to know if a candidate isn't working out. I would want to know; _Boden_ would want to know. And if he didn't have your back Gabby, he shouldn't be here. We need to protect one another Gabby," he continued as he rubbed circles soothingly on her back. "You did nothing wrong. You are an amazing firefighter, don't doubt that…" he pulled her into his strong embrace. Dawson allowed his hug to sooth her, taking comfort in his strapping arms as his hands ran up and down her back. "Why don't you get some sleep in here until you're called out?" he questioned as he stood up and helped her into his bunk.

Casey gently closed the door behind him, watching through the window as she slept before turning towards the Chief's office intent on finding out what had happened during the previous watch. But he knew that Dawson was going to be okay… Apart from that funny turn she had had on the apparatus floor.

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed, let me know what you thought ~ Em**


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm so sorry everyone... I'm rushing to get this posted in between my best friend's hens night and wedding. A huge thank you for all the love you have shown to this story.**

 **On to the chapter that I think people have been waiting for... R - big hugs for everything!**

* * *

Gabby woke later than normal. Rolling onto her side, she couldn't quite shake the fatigue she was feeling, she had managed to get a fair amount of sleep on shift last night and she wasn't going to be questioning it. It was fairly rare for Ambo not to be getting calls all throughout the night, so she was just feeling blessed that nothing had interrupted her sleep. Pushing herself up into a seated position, she looked around at the very empty bunkroom, she let her eyes flick down to the clock on the table beside her bunk. It was already 8 o'clock, she needed to get herself moving, the next watch would be here before she knew it, if they were not here already. But where was everyone?

"She awakes," Brett's voice floated by as she came through the glass doors.

Gabby rubbed her eyes as she threw her legs over the edge of the bed to stand up. "Where is everybody?"

"Third Watch is already in and they are doing a stock of the Ambo, something about not trusting our counting," Brett rolled her eyes. Evidently, they didn't believe that two female EMTs were able to count stock correctly. "And the rest of the house has been out at a fire since the early early hours."

Gabby nodded her head slowly. Brett carefully regarded her, watching her each and every move. "Hey, is everything okay Gabby?" she questioned concerned, as she observed her partner move much slower than she ever normally would.

Raising her eyebrows, the confusion was evident in her voice, "Yeah? Why do you ask?"

"You slept right through the bells. Those bells could raise the dead."

"I'm good, I'm just going to take a shower and get ready to go," she pointed towards the bathroom with a thumb as she attempted to get out of the conversation as fast as she could.

Pausing under the hot water, Gabby thought about what Brett had said. She had never felt so exhausted in her life and whilst earlier in the week she had chalked it up to doing that extra shift with Truck, it had been over a week since then and she shouldn't still be tired. It was like she couldn't get her head off the pillow in the morning and by mid afternoon all she wanted to do was go back to sleep. There was something more going on here, even Matt had mentioned it last week.

Soon she found herself in front of the mirror with a button down shirt, when her hand brushed against her chest and she hissed in pain. Wait, that was different. Her chest felt tender and was aching slightly, more than it normally would during that time of the month. Hold on, Gabby did a double take, that time of the month?! No! Shaking her head, she went to button up her top, only to find that her top was too tight in the chest area to do up properly. Yanking at the material once more, she attempted to try and get the buttons done up. Looking down everything seemed a bit bigger and her bra wasn't fitting as snugly as it normally did, causing the wheels in her mind to start turning. No… she couldn't be. Fear started to course through her, what happened if it ended terribly again?

Stealing a glance into the locker room to find it empty, she slid towards Matt's locker and grabbed out one of his spare t-shirts. Tucking it in, she layered her button down on top of it, without the need to actually do it up.

"Brett!" she called out. "Can you let Casey know that I needed to go. I'm sure he can get a lift with someone," she darted out of the house without letting Brett reply, knowing that she need to make a stop before Matt arrived home.

* * *

"Babe?" Matt called out, walking across the hardwood floor towards the couch where Gabby was curled up. He had been out all afternoon on a construction job, and Gabby had left the house on an errand whilst he had caught up on some sleep, so they had missed each other, not really being able to catch each other since last night. Gabby took in the sight of him as he got near to her, how he managed to fit all that work in she would never understand. However, the two physical jobs, being a firefighter and all of those construction jobs certainly had their benefits. Matt's arms were definitely a favourite feature for Gabby at the best of times, so she paused to admire the muscles that defined his arms.

"Hey… how was your day?" she questioned nonchalantly as she took a drink from the water bottle in front of her. He tilted his head to the side before taking the drink bottle for himself. Turning himself to face her on the couch, he took one of her hands into his own. Gabby raised an eyebrow as she flicked off the television.

"Babe," he started seriously. Gabby smirked slightly, "Uh Oh… I know that look on your face, nothing good ever comes from it."

Matt gave her a small grin, "I've been thinking… Shhh… Hear me out. Baby, I know we made the decision that you would move back to Ambo when we had Louie. But Gabby, firefighting is in your blood Baby. You are an amazing firefighter… Fitzpatrick continues to tell me that every time he sees me, ever since that shift you did for him last week… Even you said that you had had a taste of the firefighting bug again. I want this for you Babe. And I know you can't serve under me anymore, but maybe is it time that we look at this situation again?"

Gabby paused, completely unsure of what it was she was thinking and was going to say. A week ago she would have leapt at the idea, but now there was no way that she could even contemplate the idea. She so badly wanted to blurt out her news, but she couldn't do that to him again, she hadn't meant to do it that way last time and she wasn't going to spoil it again. He deserved more, they deserved more.

Matt watched as Gabby's face contorted, he couldn't read what she was thinking which was very odd. He had been sure that Gabby would have jumped at the chance to get back onto a truck, possibly even engine or at least be ready to talk about it. When they had made the decision over a year ago that she would be going back to Ambo he had always thought that she would one day come back to firefighting. And it hadn't been the right time when Louie had been taken from them. But he was confident that it was right now. "Gabby? Baby?" he prodded gently. Gabby looked up at him, unshed tears in her eyes. "Baby? Come here, I didn't mean to upset you, I just thought…"

"No Matt…" her voice held hope and joy, allowing herself the pleasure of running her warm hands up and down his muscular arms pausing to squeeze his biceps. "Go and have a look on your bedside table in our bedroom… Go," she urged.

Matt looked at her confused for a second and at Gabby's signalling made his way up the stairs. Gabby was only a few steps behind him. Reaching his side of the bed, Matt came to a standstill as his eyes came upon a toy fire truck at was sitting atop the bedside table. Gabby crossed her arms across her belly, wishing that she had thought to bring her phone so she could record what was happening right now. But at the same time, better to live in the moment, she thought to herself.

Turning around slightly to face her, he gave her a small half smile albeit slightly confused at the same time. He wandered towards the small toy, wondering why on earth Gabby would have left a toy on his table. Picking it up he missed the clearly obvious hint that Gabby had left for him. He raised an eyebrow at her, questioning her silently, not understanding what it was that she was trying to tell him.

Gabby looked back at him, her eyes sparkling with joy. She motioned with an outstretched finger for him to look at the truck more closely. "Are you sure you've seen everything on there?" she cheekily asked him.

Turning it over in his hand, he inspected it from all angles. Suddenly it occurred to him that something was attached to the ladder, something that would not normally be there. With shaky hands, Matt slid the long plastic stick off, discarding the toy upon the bed. Gradually a wide grin grew across his face, laughter beginning to bubble out as he took in the two little pink lines that were very evident on the test. "Gabby?" he breathed.

She withdrew another two tests from her back pocket, smiling all the while and showing him that indeed she had taken three pregnancy tests, all of them coming up positive. Matt strode across the few steps it would take him to reach her, taking the tests from her and tossing them over his shoulder. "Are you sure?"

Gabby nodded almost shyly, "As sure as I can be right now. We have an appointment with Doctor Peterson tomorrow…" She opened her mouth to finish her sentence, as Matt without warning pulled her loosely into his embrace and lifted her effortlessly off the ground, mashing their lips together. She could feel his heart hammering as he pulled her flush to him, placing her back onto the ground.

"I can't believe it," he whispered too scared to say anything louder than the quiet level he was currently speaking at for the fear of spoiling the moment, squeezing her much tighter.

"Matt," she gasped, pain shooting through her chest. Matt pulled back suddenly, allowing her to place a hand on her upper chest, just below her neckline. Leading her to the small couch they had in their bedroom, he sat next to her, a leg folded up onto the couch in between them. "Don't worry Matt, it's just that everywhere around here," her hand circled her upper chest area, "it's all just a bit sensitive at the moment," she apologised.

Matt wasn't able to wipe the beaming smile off of his face as he pulled her into a side hug, letting one arm drape over her stomach and the other snaking around her shoulder being careful to avoid her chest. "So this is really happening?"

Taking a deep breath, Gabby thought about what she needed to tell Matt. "Well we don't know for sure, but all of the signs are there Baby… The fatigue, the sore breasts, the constant need to pee… And I don't know Matt, it just feels right. It's different to last time, but I think I just know. Something is different, a good different," she told him. What she didn't tell him was that somewhere deep she was still scared of it going all wrong, but since she had seen the last test she had allowed herself to start to hope for their future.

"So what is next?" he questioned, watching intently as she rolled up her sleeve to show up a slight bruise where blood had been drawn.

"I've been into to Med, rang April all panicked. She told me to toughen up and get my arse down there," she chuckled slightly thinking about how the young nurse had ordered her to come in, "So now she's got my history, taken some extra notes and will have sent them across to my OB/GYN. I've had a pre-appointment blood test that will confirm the pregnancy, you just never know, these home tests can produce false positives. And for peace of mind, I need to know, a 100% sure. April also managed to swing us an appointment with Doctor Peterson on really short notice too. So tomorrow morning, 10 o'clock and we should get a glimpse of our little one," she finished, tears in her eyes.

Matt glanced down at her and placed a kiss on her head, grateful for whatever or whoever had allowed their dreams to finally come true. Finally, things were looking up for them.

The next day found Matt and Gabby at her OB/GYN's office, they hadn't made it to this point last time around and it was evident in both of their body languages. Both were excited about what could be in their future, yet at the same time, the miscarriage was at the forefront of their minds. The wait at Doctor Peterson's office was a relatively quiet one, however, Matt wasn't able to stop bouncing his knee as he sat waiting in the uncomfortable chair.

"You know the ER has much comfier chairs," he grumbled as he shifted in his chair the tenth time that minute.

Gabby laid a hand on his nervous knee, "Would you prefer to be there?" Watching him open his mouth, she cut him off, "Matt, it's going to be okay. I need you to be okay…. It's got to be okay," she finished in a whisper. Matt looked over at her, pulling her into a tight side hug, running his fingers over her wedding rings.

"It is going to be okay Gabby… Everything is going to be fine," he whispered against the side of her head, giving her a kiss as he finished. "How did we get this appointment so fast anyway?"

"Rang April yesterday and got her to call in a favour, came in for a blood test yesterday which will confirm what I think we already know," Matt furrowed his brow trying to think when she would have even had time leave the house. Gabby gave him a knowing smile, "I came into Med yesterday whilst you had a nap after shift and then by the time I got home you had left for that construction gig… Matt, I told you all of this yesterday," she sighed.

Matt looked apologetic, "Sorry, I can't seem to concentrate at the moment."

"Gabriela Casey?"

Without dropping her hand Matt pulled Gabby up and towards the nurse. He could feel the slight shake in her step the closer they got to Doctor Peterson's office. As the nurse left them waiting in the office, Matt pulled Gabby into his lap in an attempt to calm her nerves. Gabby buried her head into the crook of Matt's neck enjoying the feeling of Matt's warm hand along her back. She squeezed her eyes shut hoping to hold the tears in, she wasn't too sure whether she could face hearing any negative news. With that her breathing became erratic.

"Babe," he whispered, gaining her attention "Try to stop thinking about the 'what ifs.' Try and focus on the positives. Breathe… Slowly… In and out... Baby, it's our time. Let's think to the future and everything that it holds. It's about us Gabs."

Both the Caseys were so involved in their own little world, focused on nothing else but each other that they didn't hear Doctor Peterson enter her own office. Clara Peterson was a few years older than Gabby and had been her doctor for a number of years now. Whilst she hadn't attended to Gabby during the ectopic episode, she knew all about it and was determined that this visit was going to be as painless emotionally on Gabby as she could possibly make it.

"You should listen to your husband Gabriela," her soft voice piped up. Gabby whipped her head up, shocked that her doctor had managed to come in without being noticed.

"Dr Peterson…" Gabby stammered as she attempted to unwrap herself from Matt. The doctor only smiled gently at them, taking a seat as she rounded her table.

"And you must be Matt, who I hear so much about…" she greeted, holding her hand out towards Matt. Smiling Matt grasped her hand, shaking it firmly. "So Mrs Casey," Clara remarked, trying to keep the conversation light. "I read here that you had three positive home pregnancy tests and I hear congratulations are in order."

Gabby stopped short of whatever she was going to say. It was like the air had been knocked out of her, even though all of those home pregnancy tests were positives, she always knew that there was a possibility that she might be not be. She had steeled her nerves for that possibility, so when she heard the confirmation, she couldn't quite believe it. "Are you… are you sure?"

Gentle laughter filled the room, "Yes I'm sure. Your blood test indicated high hormone markers, your hCG levels are well over 25 units. Gabby, you _are_ pregnant," she finished with a smile.

Matt allowed himself to smile and a slight laugh left his mouth as he gathered Gabby up in a hug. He pulled back slightly to press a searing quick kiss to her mouth, before yanking her back into a bone crushing hug. "See, everything's coming up Casey!"

Clara cleared her throat behind them, Gabby pulled away slightly turning to face her doctor, unshed tears glistening. "But… is everything okay? I mean Dr Halstead did explain after the last pregnancy that there was a higher chance of something going wrong the next time," she finished as she felt Matt's strong hand clasp over her knee as a source of comfort.

Nodding, Dr Peterson scanned over her notes. "Well looking over your notes that April Sexton made yesterday I'd say that you're about 7 weeks gone, so that's perfect timing for your dating scan… If you want to get into this lovely gown, we'll do some measurements and then we'll do a scan to see what's going on in there," she motioned to a curtain that would allow Gabby to change into the hospital issued gown, well what passed for a gown. "So anything else that's bothering you at the moment Gabby?"

"Just the utter exhaustion that I'm constantly feeling," Gabby called out from behind the curtain.

"Common symptom for the first trimester," apologised Clara. "There's a huge amount of energy that goes into building a life-support system for your baby, so you're going to be tired. Listen to your body, rest up anytime that you need to, don't try and do everything. And eat often, it is suggested a six meal a day diet generally seems to be helpful too. So rather than three main meals a day, have six smaller meals to help with your energy levels."

"So dating scan?" questioned Matt as they were led toward the exam area that Clara had set up in her office.

"It's the scan that we do from anywhere between 7 and 12 weeks gestation, commonly called a dating scan. We do it for so many reasons but the most common is to confirm pregnancy and to check that the embryo is viable and 'everything's ok'," she commented as she fiddled with the scales and made notes before motioning for Gabby to scoot over to the bed.

"And those reasons include?" Matt continued to probe, most concerned that something might happen. Gabby laid a comforting hand on his forearm, causing him to look over at her.

"Hey… Babe. Clara's being doing this a long time. And I've been seeing her for many years, she knows what she's doing. Now sit on that stool there, hold my hand and shut up," she commanded.

"It's ok Gabby. I get questions all the time, and it's actually refreshing to be getting them from Dad instead. We do a dating scan to confirm the presence of one or more embryos and gestational sacs. Also to assess the gestational age, I know that Gabby has fairly regular cycles so I'm confident in saying that we're looking at around seven weeks. We also do the scan to confirm the presence of a heartbeat and to check the size of the embryo and ensure the baby is the right size for gestational age. I also want to do a general check of the uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries. It's all standard practice. Also bearing in mind that you have suffered from an ectopic pregnancy before I want to ensure that the embryo has implanted within the uterus and it is not an ectopic pregnancy occurring again."

Matt nodded slowly, rubbing his thumb over the back of Gabby's hand taking in all the information that was being presented to them. "It's going to be information overload for the next nine months isn't it?"

"Well not quite nine months babe," Gabby teased him. "More like seven months."

Doctor Peterson smiled along before continuing her conversation. "We could get a sonographer in, but if you're both happy I am able to perform this for you…" Watching the expectant parents nodded she went on, "ideally the best time to assess the gestational age in the first trimester is between 7-10 weeks of pregnancy. This is the period of time which provides the most accurate assessment. Generally, ultrasounds which are performed in the first trimester are within 3-5 days of being accurate in terms of assessing gestational age. There are two ways of having a seven-week ultrasound, either transabdominally or transvaginally…"

"I think I know what you're about to tell me," winced Gabby. Clara patted her leg and nodded. "Well this sounds like fun, guess I better get used to this," Gabby spoke sarcastically.

"On the bright side Gabby, you don't need to have a full bladder for this ultrasound," Clara commented as she started the scan. Gabby winced as she felt the cramp-like pains shudder through her abdomen. Matt squeezed her hand excitedly as the screen to the right of Gabby's head spluttered to life showing up an alien-like blob.

"And that would be your baby," Clara pointed out the embryo that would develop into their child.

"That's our Smudge," Matt told her, squeezing and kissing the back of Gabby's hand.

Gabby turned to him, tears beginning to fall from her eyes, "Matt, you can't call our baby Smudge," she chided, as she moved slightly in discomfort. "Plus it looks more like a kidney bean," twisting her head trying to make out something.

"But… Look Smudge. Back me up Doctor Peterson, it looks like a smudge," begged Matt.

"He's got a point Gabby. Don't know that I've heard too many people describe their child that way…"

Gabby turned back towards the screen, much of the pain forgotten as she clapped eyes on the ultrasound image. "And everything is okay?" she asked breathlessly as the image changed on the screen.

"It seems to be… Ovaries seem all okay, embryo seems to have implanted well. Sorry Gabby…" she commented watching the pain flicker over Gabby's face as she moved the probe. "Looking at the measurements, you're measuring right on seven weeks, two days. And that there, that's the heartbeat, just under 108 beats a minute. Everything is right on track Gabby," she reassured the couple.

"It's just amazing…. I can't believe that this little smudge is our baby," mused Matt.

"Can we… Can we hear that heartbeat?" questioned Gabby, tearing up again.

Clara shook her head, "Next time," she promised. Matt leant over Gabby to catch the tears as they fell with the pad of his thumb before placing a kiss to her forehead. As Clara finished the exam, Matt helped Gabby back into a seated position.

"It's all looking very good Gabby, unless something changes I don't think I'll need to see you until your 12 week mark, when we can do another ultrasound, yes an abdominal one just so we can check that everything is developing okay and I will want to do some screening then too. Nothing to worry about, it's all routine," she paused to flick through her calendar on her desk, "I'd estimate your due date to be 15th April next year. Pen it in somewhere...I'll leave you two to have a moment to yourselves. Let me see if I can make you that appointment and put some of these photos on a hard drive for you and then you're good to go," she informed them before attempting to exiting the room.

"Hold on Doctor Peterson," Matt called out. "Gabby did a shift on Truck last week and was caught in a fire. There was a fair amount of smoke inhalation," worry was evident in his voice and on his face.

"Well that's a first, I've been asked about women who have had a drink whilst being unknowingly pregnant, but never about smoke," she smiled. "Whilst I'm not suggesting that you go storming into buildings at the moment, so far everything looks ok. I can't make any promises, but I'm not too concerned for the moment. It's not ideal, but you can't change anything Gabby, so I don't want you worrying about this. And if you're still on Ambo I'm happy for you to continue working for the time being, we can reassess that as the pregnancy progresses, but no truck or firefighting. I'll get a written clearance for you and mail it out too," she threw over her shoulder, exiting for a second time

"I can't believe that this is real," Gabby commented as she got changed.

"Believe it baby," Matt told her as she came back to him. "It's our time now, you…" he kissed her, "me, and the baby," as he lay a hand over her still flat stomach. "Just you, me and Smudge," he repeated resting his forehead against hers, Gabby's hand coming up to massage the back of his neck, feeling the hair at the base of his nape stand up. A moment passed before she pressed herself closer to his muscled body, reaching up to press her lips onto his.

* * *

 **Eeep! Let me know what you think. Hope you all enjoyed it**

 **~Em**


	6. Week 8 - Chief

**Nearly forget this update everyone, sorry! We took our 94 or so students on adventure day today. And 14 hours later I finally arrived home, very sore. Worked with the rock climbers and now everything hurts. Kudos to my brother (in-law) who is a leader at the camp site who just laughed at me at the end of the day. So thanks to Junko for the kick up the backside and reminder.**

 **Hilary: Sorry I forgot to reply to your review on a previous chapter, you reviewed as a guest so I can't respond personally - but in answer to your question; I'm actually looking forward to Gabby going back to Ambo. Whilst I've loved her as a firefighter I think she is good as the PIC, and emotionally I think it would be better for both her and Matt for her not to serve under Matt. Just my two cents.**

 **And to everyone who as reviewed thank you very much. Hope you enjoy this ~Em**

* * *

 _ **Week Eight**_

 _~ Candidate is about the size of a raspberry ~_

"Babe?" Gabby called as she rushed up the stairs, trying to finish packing her bag for work. After their last shift, she had completely emptied out her bag intent on replacing all of the items that she normally carried, she liked to do it every so often. Unfortunately, she had dumped it in their downstairs family area and baby brain had kicked in and she had forgotten all about it. Some days she thought that this house had been much too big for only the two of them. They rattled around it in most of the time, once their children were older it would be ok, there would be plenty of room for them to grow up and play and have their own space. But right now, Gabby was sure that she could actually close the lower level off.

"Matt? We're going to be late! I'm sure that Chief won't take it too well - one of his lieutenants turning up late, especially if we are either late for or even miss roll call." Standing in the kitchen she craned her neck trying to figure out where Matt could possibly be. "Matt!"

Matt came storming down the stairs with a very empty bag too. "Did you empty out my bag too?" he questioned causing Gabby to stop and think hard about it. She remembered taking out everything from her bag, but she didn't remember doing the same for Matt's. "I... I don't… I don't remember," she whimpered, tears starting to form in her eyes, shocking even herself by her sudden emotional outburst.

"Hey, hey," Matt pulled her towards him, wondering that had actually caused this reaction, Gabby was not one for waterworks. "I'm not mad… where's this coming from?"

Blowing out a shaky breath, she wiped a tear from her face. "Hormones… Everything is making me cry," she sniffed. "And I just don't remember where I've put things. I don't even remember what I did with your bag… Matt, I don't remember," breaking down into a fresh set of sobs. Matt gently led her towards a seat, as he fished off his phone from his back pocket. Quickly he fired off a text to Boden, apologising and explaining that they were going to be running late. Placing the phone down, he felt Gabby's hand flailing around, in an attempt to locate comfort from Matt. Turning her around so that her back was up against his chest, he wrapped his arms around her shaking body, letting her cry out everything she was feeling. He had a feeling that over the coming months he was going to be experiences many emotional outbursts, mostly out of nowhere.

"Just hold me, Matt, I don't need anything else," she sobbed as a fresh set of tears overtook her. Every time that Gabby thought she had cried her heart out, another wave would hit it. Matt knew not to say much, over the many years that they had been friends and then developed into something more, Gabby hadn't cried very much. However, the times that she had, Matt had learnt that he just needed to be there for, not saying anything… Definitely, don't try and solve her problems or even offer her advice. Rather Gabby was a strong independent woman, and usually, she just wanted a sounding boarding. But, now it seemed like they were swimming in different waters, her hormones were doing a number on her. But still, he kept her held tight towards himself.

It was at least ten minutes later that Gabby pulled her head off of Matt's firm chest, wiping the tears from her eyes in an attempt to pull herself together. "Everything is just making me cry… I don't even know why I started crying in the first place…" she confessed, sniffing slightly.

Matt gave her a soft smile, brushing the tears that were still pooling in her eyes. "It's okay Gabby," he gently spoke, leaving his fingers ghosting over her cheek. "We can re-pack the bag. Whatever it might have been that was important three days ago to make you unpack the bag, just isn't important now. And that's fine Babe… Do you feel up to work?" he prodded.

Gabby pondered it for a moment, she knew that there was really nothing keeping her at home. She was frustrated with herself about the bag and that she had started to forget things, but overall she didn't feel any different. She was also aware that they needed to tell Boden.

She nodded in response to his question, "Yeah, we should tell Boden this shift too. He needs to know as our, or my superior," she commented as she started to untangle herself from the embrace that Matt had her in. "But Matt," she sat on the edge of the couch, "I still don't want to tell the rest of the house… Not just yet," she finished before disappearing off to refresh herself before work.

Matt stayed seated on the couch thinking back to a conversation they had had not long after they had arrived home from their appointment with Doctor Peterson. Gabby had been so adamant that she didn't want to let the house know about the baby yet. Last time they had wanted to wait a few more weeks before telling everyone, but with a house like 51 nothing ever stayed a secret for long. But it had been different last time, she hadn't been able to stay on Truck, it just wasn't allowed. Gabby had reasoned this time she was already on Ambo, which is one of the options for pregnant firefighters, so there was no need to say anything to their fire family just yet.

It had made for a fairly tense dinner that evening. On what had supposed to have been an exciting time for them, their first dinner knowing that they were going to be parents turned into one that was marred by fear and disagreements. Gabby had allowed fear to overtake her. For her, it did not matter that Doctor Peterson had been able to confirm to them that baby was implanted in the correct spot this time, she still had this overwhelming feeling that something was going to go wrong. She hadn't given herself permission to feel the excitement of their new arrival, well actually any emotions at all. So when Matt had placed the ultrasound of Smudge on the fridge, she had almost immediately torn it back down again. Gabby wouldn't let herself get too attached this time, not when there was still such a high risk of something going wrong.

She had barely spoken during dinner, uttering one or two words only. Once she had finished picking at her meal, she had pushed her plate away from herself, stood and headed for the bedroom. Matt watched as she disappeared up the stairs, still trying to work out what had happened, what was it that had happened from time in the OB/GYN's office when she was over the moon to right now.

 _*Flashback*_

 _Matt picked up the plates, taking them towards into the kitchen and doing a general clean up of the dinner dishes. Once done, he stopped in front of the chalkboard that was used for important dates and information. He was instantly transported back to Gabby's old apartment when she had first cooked him dinner, it was something that he still couldn't pronounce. A chalkboard that held photos upon photos. Glancing up he pulled the sonogram from his pocket and found a prominent place on the board to place it, tracing around the blob that was his child._

 _Making up his mind to do something about it, he stormed up the stairs. Too many times in the past he had watched their relationship start to crumble due to their inability to talk about things. Walking into their bedroom, he found Gabby curled up on her side of the bed, something clutched in her hands. Gabby turned over as she felt the bed dip with Matt's weight. Matt glanced down to find another sonogram in Gabby's grasp._

" _Hey, talk to me," Matt spoke up, wiping away a tear that was starting its way down her cheek._

" _What happens if this doesn't go to plan… Again! What happens if something isn't right?"_

" _And what happens if everything is going to turn out okay? That in seven months, we'll be sitting in this bed holding our newborn?" he questioned, pulling her into a more upright position._

 _Gabby gave him a weak smile, scooting herself closer to him leaning her head onto his chest. She brought her hands up to play with the buttons of his shirt, closing her eyes taking in his scent. "I know that it must be scary Gabs, but I really want you to think as positively as you can… Gabby nothing is going to go wrong," he reassured her, his arm going around her shoulder pulling her closer. "It's going to be fine, Smudge is going to be fine. He's a Casey, a fighter," he teased, dropping kisses in her hair._

" _He?" she questioned indignantly. "Barely even seven weeks old, and you're giving the baby a complex!" she pulled back slightly to face him, a slight smile beginning to form. "Matt I don't want to tell anyone in the house yet."_

" _But… Gabby, they are our family," he protested. "We need to tell them. They'll be happy for us."_

 _Gabby adamantly shook her head, pulling back from him completely, any trace of that previous smile gone, "Last time we told them early and Matt, say something happens again I won't be able to cope with the sympathetic glances again. Yes, I would never trade our family, but I just won't be able to cope again. Between the first time and then losing Louie, I just want to keep this to us… Just for now," she looked away._

" _What about just Brett? I think she needs to know. She's your partner."_

" _No," insisted Gabby. "I just want to keep this between us," she firmly told him. Matt sighed slightly. Placing a hand on her knee, he thought for a moment, this was ultimately Gabby's decision. It was her body and she had been the one to physically go through the loss of a baby last time, and if this was something that she wanted then he was going to respect her. Anything to keep the peace._

 _Matt nodded his head, "Okay," he conceded. "If you want to wait, then we'll wait," he promised as he leant over to kiss her. Gabby pushed him down before swinging herself over him to press a hot kiss on his lips._

 _*End Flashback*_

"So are you ready to tell Boden?" Gabby asked, pulling Matt out of his thoughts. He grinned as she held out her hand, both of their bags over her shoulders.

* * *

Casey and Dawson were barely through the door onto the apparatus floor when the speaker announced that Ambo was required on a call. Dawson sighed and passed her bag over to Casey.

"Hey," Casey stopped her, not even bothering who might be watching them. "You look after yourself out there. Be careful," he stared her down before giving her a quick peck on the lips and releasing her.

Dawson was grateful that it was still summer and she didn't need a jacket of sorts, also luckily she had worn her uniform into the house today. Sliding into the passenger's seat she came face to face with Slyvie Brett, a smile upon her face.

"Why weren't we put out of service?" Dawson questioned in greeting, slipping into PIC mode.

"Why were you late?" Brett questioned back, curiosity in her voice.

"We had a bit of a problem at home," Gabby muttered, not willing to elaborate. "Come on, let's go," she ordered.

Casey watched as the Ambo pulled out of the house, sirens starting to blare as it pulled into the traffic. Turning around he found himself face to face with Severide, a smirk upon his face.

"What?" Casey innocently questioned, trying to sidestep Severide. "Sev, I've got stuff to do," he announced as he pushed passed him. As he made his way into the locker room, he wondered what Severide had been up too. It wasn't like him to not just stand and say nothing. But Casey just brushed it off, there were more important things to deal with today. Like how they were going to break their news to the Chief.

* * *

It had taken until early evening before Casey and Dawson were able to make their way towards Boden's office. No long after Dawson had arrived back, the entire house had been called out to a large structure fire, and then Ambo had been called out at least another two times. Just after dinner, Dawson had knocked on the doorway into the officer's quarters where Casey sat.

"Hey," she called out. Looking up, he gave her a wide smile welcoming her in. She closed the door behind herself and took a seat on the edge of his bunk. Casey looked around and gave her a slightly confused look, it wasn't too often that she would close the door these days. Normally she would just come in, door be damned. "It's already been a long long shift," she mentioned, "And we've only just managed to have dinner." Matt nodded along with her. The fire half of their relationship had been having a quiet day, having only been called out once for the entire shift. And as usual, Ambo had been in and out of the house many many more times.

For that reason alone, Matt was concerned about her. Whilst CFD had the policy of bumping pregnant firefighters back to Ambo, he was struggling to watch her go out on so many runs during one shift. She may not be running into buildings, but it still an exhausting job, one that he worried about her doing.

"So," she drawled, "There's only been a few quiet moments, and I think we need to tell Boden... Whilst we have a chance." She watched carefully as Casey nodded his head, "And I'm not sure why I've got butterflies about this either," she mentioned.

Casey grinned as he helped her to her feet. Pulling her in for a hug, he whispered into her ear, "Let's do this!"

Boden looked up at two of his officers when he heard the knock on the door. Raising his hand, he waved them in. His brow furrowed as he watched Dawson shut the door behind herself and then reach for Casey's hand. The married couple usually kept themselves completely professional at work, so this was an unusual scene playing out in front of him.

"Chief?" Casey started. He stopped to look at Dawson searching her face, looking for a sign that he was to continue. They hadn't spoken about this, well at least not the details as to who was going to say what. Maybe he should let her be the one that wanted to share their news. Dawson sensing his hesitation squeezed his hand.

Boden looked over at them, removing his glasses and resting his elbows on the desk. "Yes?"

"Well, Chief… We've got some news," Casey continued, waiting as Boden came to rest on the outer side of his desk, eyebrows raised. Taking a deep breath, "Gabby and I are expecting a baby," he let out in a rush.

Silence enveloped the office for a moment, causing Dawson to wonder what he was going to say. Deep down Boden was a big teddy bear, he cared for his men and women that served under him. And Dawson had observed that Boden himself had softened as he himself had become a father, he was a bigger softie now, especially when it came to children and their family. She was sure that he would be happy for them, but these moments of silence and shock were worrying to Dawson. What would happen if he was angry and forced her to take up a desk job, she had done that before and hadn't liked it. Or what if he transferred her to another house, she was more easily replaceable than Casey, she didn't want to start again at a new house.

She continued to allow these type of unanswered questions swirl around in her mind before she noticed the wide grin spread across Boden's face and he gathered him both up in a hug. "That is fantastic news… Congratulations," he announced before shaking Casey's hand once more. "How long have you known?"

"Just a few days… It's still the early days Chief," Dawson filled him in, letting out a sigh of relief. Whilst she knew that nothing was likely going to happen, Casey had kept reminding her of that, nothing was going to happen to the baby.

"So we're not telling anyone?" he questioned, much like he had just a few years earlier. The sense of Deja vu washed over Dawson, bringing back the fear of dread that she was working so hard on suppressing causing her knees to weaken slightly. Matt noticed the movement out of the corner of his eye and made a move to untangle his hand from hers so he was able to move his arm around her waist to support her. Lifting his eyes towards Boden's, he shuffled Dawson towards the couch that was in the corner, his hand on the small of her back. Taking a seat next to her on the couch, he pulled her into his side and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, not caring what their boss would be thinking of the situation playing out in front of him. Placing his chin on her shoulder, he started to whisper slowly, "It's ok Babe, nothing's going to happen. Everything is okay, Smudge is going to be okay… You've got to believe that," he reminded her.

Boden looked concerned as he too pulled over the seat that was in front of his desk so he would be facing the couple. Laying a warm hand on her knee, he opened his mouth to speak, "Gabriela?" he gently prodded.

Dawson wiped her eyes and waved off his concern. "I'm sorry Chief, it just reminded me of the last time we stood in your office in this exact situation… It just shocked me a bit, that's all. We just want to get to my twelve week mark before we tell anyone," she explained. "I know we needed to tell you, but this time… we don't want anyone else to know!" she insisted, closing her eyes for a moment trying to regain her sense of strength.

The elder man gave them both a concerned look before meeting Casey's eyes over her head. Casey shook his head slightly, his eyes expressing a similar concern. Upon the ringing of the bells, Dawson jumped to hearing that the call was for Ambo only. Giving one last sniff, she nodded at the two gentlemen who still sat in front of her before making her way out of the office, closing the door behind her.

Standing as she left the room, Boden watched as she disappeared out of sight before turning back towards Casey who had his elbows resting on his knees and head in hands, rubbing them slightly over his face. "Lieutenant?" he questioned after studying Casey for a beat.

Casey looked up with weary eyes to find his commanding officer staring him down with concerned eyes. He regarded him for a minute, pondering what it was that he wanted to tell Boden. "It's been an interesting time Chief…"

"Casey, I've said it to you before. You've got your fair share of wins and losses. And I can not begin to imagine what it is has been like for both of you over the past four years with all the ups and downs. Matt, this is going to be an amazing experience," Boden told him, laying a hand on his shoulder.

Casey nodded slightly before continuing, "I know, Chief. It's just been a hard week, Gabby… Gabby she's so scared of losing the baby again. In her eyes, so much has already been taken away from her and she doesn't want that to happen again. She's just trying to protect herself. And not telling the house is how she is protecting herself Chief. Would I prefer that she tell them? Yes," he took a deep breathe, running his hand over his face again and tapping his foot nervously on the floor. "I just wanted her to tell Brett, I needed to know that at least someone is looking out for her when she's on the rig. But she isn't having a bar of it… We both know that she's capable of shutting down when she gets scared Chief. And I just wasn't willing to risk that. So Chief, if she doesn't want to tell them yet, I'm totally on board with that."

Boden nodded slowly, taking in the information that had just been presented to him. "I understand Casey. As long as I get official clearance from Dawson's doctor I do not need to say anything to anyone just yet. She's already on Ambo, so there is no need for Dawson to move jobs, that will buy you some time for her to become comfortable with telling the house. At some point, it will be important that she tells the Chief Paramedic, but that will depend on how she is feeling and how long she is allowed to work."

"Thanks, Chief," Matt shook his hand as he made a move to get up, "Your support is important to me, to us both."

Boden gave him a smile and a slight nod, "And Matt, congratulations."

* * *

"Gabby?" Matt tapped her on the shoulder late in the afternoon the day after they finished a shift. Glancing up Gabby found Matt standing behind the couch a bottle of water in his hands.

"Hmm?" she questioned as he settled himself onto the couch, taking her hand into his.

"Do you remember that call we had a few weeks ago where we had to go back in a rescue those children whose parents were high?" Matt watched as Gabby searched her mind for that one event, watching as recollection spread across her face. She looked confused as to why he was even bringing up the situation. Matt took a deep breathe, he hadn't told Gabby what had happened in his office whilst she had taken the children to Chicago Med. These were the things that he needed to talk about, she needed to know that he was just as scared as she was. Hopefully, it might even help her be more at ease with the pregnancy.

"I may have lost it when I got back to the house," he admitted ducking his head. Gabby looked on worried about what Matt was telling her. "It's not something that I'm proud of Gabs, but I didn't handle my emotions well…" he trailed off.

"What happened Matt?" Gabby probed placing a hand on his cheek causing him to lift his head slightly.

"That glass jar of tees that used to sit on my desk… I hurled it at the wall," he flushed, he was in no way proud of his actions and that in a moment of rage he had broken something. "I was so mad Gabby… I just couldn't understand how they could be parents, something that had ripped away from us, not once but twice. And I was mad at the world for not allowing it to happen for us. I wanted it so much Babe," he told her, tears beginning to form in his eyes without him even realising it. Gabby drew in a sharp breath, for as long as she had known Matt he had wanted a family of his own, and there had been many nights that she had blamed herself, but she would never have thought that that particular call would have had such an effect on him

"And ironically I was already pregnant," Gabby laughed in an attempt to lighten the mood. Matt gave her a half smile, loving his wife for being able to think of the right things to say to lighten the load.

"It just didn't seem right, you know Gabs…" he looked off into the distance, thinking about how his life might have been different if they had children in their lives now. "You have so much love to give, you're an amazing mother-"

"You know, for so many months after we lost our baby I blamed myself for not being able to provide you with a family," she cut him off. "One that you wanted so much," she started to tear up, "It was tearing me up from the inside out…"

"Hey, hey, hey… Look at me" Matt grabbed her chin forcing her to look into his eyes. He searched them taking in all the hurt that was swirling around in there. "Do not blame yourself for that. There was nothing you could have done… There was nothing anyone could have done. What's in the past is in the past. We need to look forward to our future… Together," he promised. "Herrmann came into my office that day when he heard the glass shatter… And he told me that together we could get through this, the fear and anger I was feeling. That wise old firefighter also reminded me that to get through this I need to focus on my future, the one that I have with you," he smiled as he reached out to place a hand on her belly, "One that we have with the baby now Babe… I know it's scary Gabby, but let's just focus on the future, and everything that will go right."

Gabby looked down at his warm hand and covered it with her own, drawing strength from it. "You seem to have enough hope for our future at the moment, enough for the both of us. Your trust in the future will be enough to carry us through until I can stop worrying about something going wrong," she told him.

"I'll cover you," he promised.

"Matt, Baby I want to believe that everything is going to be okay… And I know that everything will be okay, it's just today when the Chief asked about telling people, I froze," she admitted.

"I know Babe, it's okay. The Chief will be there for us, he's happy for us and he understands. And I'll be strong for you, Smudge is going to be here before we know it... Gabby, know that I am there every step of the way for you… even if I forget to show it sometimes. You, me and the baby… that's what's important," he punctuated his last words with kisses.

"Matt, you don't need to be strong all the time. And you don't need to hide your emotions all the time either…" she told him, running a hand through his short hair. "Although you don't have to share all of them with the rest of house," she teased. Matt shook his head at her as she started to attack his neck, peppering it with kisses.

"Gabbs…" he complained, trying to control himself. Gabby smirked as she dropped her hands to roam underneath his shirt "The problem is," his hot breath wafting over her neck as he leant closer to her face as his hands moved up to caress her cheeks, "...problem is, if I start kissing you, I might not be able to stop," he whispered into her ear, before placing a kiss under her earlobe.

"No need to stop Matt," she reminded him, pulling him closer and starting to work on his button down shirt. Matt gave her a grin as he pulled her down on top of himself.

 _~ His hands and feet have webbed fingers and toes. Soon this extra tissue between his digits will be reabsorbed to reveal individual fingers and toes ~_


	7. Week 9 - Family Dinner

**Wow! I really did forget about this update. Sports Carnival training on Friday afternoon did a number on me and I collapsed into a heap when I arrived home from school ~ And I'm still bruised from last week's excursion :( Plus this always happens when I don't write things in my planner and then also forget to open it. So it was when I was in the coffee line and chatting to R this morning when she said something that reminded me that I hadn't updated. We'll just add that to the many thanks that I owe R x Thank you too to everyone who has reviewed.**

 **And I apologise for my Spanish (Australian Chinese-Welsh and I didn't learn Spanish in school), it was all Google Translate - please do let me know if it's incorrect**

 **Hope you enjoy the latest week in the Casey pregnancy ~Em**

* * *

 _Week Nine_

 _~ Candidate is now about the size of a medium green olive ~_

"Are you sure about telling them, Babe?" Gabby questioned as she dug through her wardrobe only wearing a dressing gown.

"Hmm?" Matt questioned as he walked into the bedroom, the remaining water droplets from his shower glistening on his bare chest. "What did you say?"

Gabby had to tear her eyes away from Matt's body and force herself to shake her head to clear her mind of any thoughts that were forming. They were going to be late for dinner at her parents' house unless they hurried up. Sighing slightly she repeated her question, "Are you sure about telling my parents tonight?" the uncertainty was very evident.

Matt paused mid-dressing to stare at her. It had been her idea to tell her family before she reached her twelve week mark, whilst they had only known for two weeks she needed the support from her family. She had meant what she had said about not being able to live through the heartache again, she wouldn't be able to take all the sympathetic and 'poor you' looks from everyone around her, not again. Adriana and Miguel had been in the Dominican when it had happened and Gabby had insisted that they stay and finish up their planned time over there rather than rushing back to Chicago where they couldn't do anything. Gabby at the time just wanted to move on with her life, not have her parents coming back to console her.

But this time, this time, was different. So far everything was going okay, Gabby was feeling good, rested for the most part. Boden had been happy for them and understood why she was so hesitant to tell anyone. And it was only going to be another three weeks until they were past that safe point and then she would be comfortable sharing her news. Just three long weeks.

If Matt had had his way, he would be standing on top of the CFD Academy building and shouting it to everyone, but he respected her fears. This was her body and after the trauma, she had suffered previously, he was willing to do whatever it was she wanted. Granted he would have preferred telling a few more people, but it was her decision.

"Matt?" she questioned, breaking through his thoughts. "You may want to put some pants on before we go… As much as I appreciate the hot lieutenant look, I'm not so sure Antonio would really like it," she commented as she came over to him. Unbuttoning his top, she slid her warm hands across his torso, playing with the waistband of his boxers.

"Gabby," Matt groaned trying to untangle her arms as her fingers danced lightly over his body. "Gabbbs… We need to go," he mumbled as she started to kiss him. He struggled with the overwhelming need for her against the knowledge that he really did not want to be late for dinner with his in-laws. She sighed as she pulled back, tugging on the back of his neck. Matt got the hint leaning forward to rest his forehead against hers. "So what was the question about?" he gently asked.

"Are _you_ sure about telling my family tonight?" she repeated again. Matt spun her around in his arms, resting his hand on her still flat stomach. Looking up into the mirror, Gabby could see he had his eyebrows raised, a questioning look on his face. "I just… I just… I'm not sure about telling them. What if something goes wrong? And we have to go through everything again?" she questioned as tears began to well in her eyes.

"Hey, hey… Look at me," he commanded, hooking a finger under her chin causing her to twist slightly in order to face him. Gabby was still having her good days and more concerned days about the baby. Matt would never question her about wanting the baby, he knew she wanted this family more than anything else in life, but he understood her fears. To love and for it to be unexpectedly taken away, and in a way that there was nothing that anyone could do to make it right was heartbreaking. For that alone, he knew that she needed the love and support of her family along with his support, especially from her mother. "You can't think like that. We don't know what the future holds. But don't go there Gabby, we've got every reason to believe that Smudge is going to be okay. And yes I'm okay with telling your family. Why won't I be?"

"It's not like you've been talking to your family. And I don't know where you stand with your mother. Christie and Violet are in our picture, to a certain degree. I just wish that we were closer to Christie so that we could be telling them together. I really want them to be as much a part of Smudge's life as my parents are. I want Smudge to know Aunt Christie as much as Tio Antonio. And I know telling my family is going to be a big thing and I just didn't want you to be left out."

"Babe, your family is my family," he reminded her placing a kiss on the tip of her nose. The elder Dawsons had made him feel like he was one of the family, no questions asked. It had taken Matt and Gabby quite a while to get their acts together, hell they had been engaged, broken up, she fell pregnant and then lost the baby and then they had nearly broken up again. Yet Adriana and Miguel had never questioned him, they had just opened their arms, hearts and home to him. They had left the questioning to Antonio. "I firmly believe that we should tell them. You need them around us… Plus I'm surprised you haven't spilt to Antonio already, you share everything," he teased her.

He sometimes would watch Antonio with Gabby, him being the protective older brother and sharing everything with her, and his heart ached for that too. Matt could remember as a young child spending time with his elder sister, but those precious memories were far and few between. Christie and he had started to mend their bridges, especially as Violet had started wanting to spend time with them more, but the Casey side of the family still remained a touchy subject. Maybe a new baby would be the way to bring them back together, work on a relationship that he wanted to have with his sister… Only time would tell.

Gabby spun back around in his arms, resting her head on his bare chest, letting his steady heartbeat wash over her. They stood silently for a few moments with Matt pressing kisses to the crown of her head. "We can tell everyone when you want Gabby. Even so, I might feel just a bit more comfortable if you at least told Brett. Then she would be able to look out for you during shift Babe."

"Three weeks Matt," she breathed. "I just need three more weeks; I need to know that we're going to be okay. I just don't want to jinx it. I can't have the house giving me those looks again. And I know what would happen if I told Brett, she would insist that I, or more likely we, tell Kidd, who is such a blabber mouth. She would either tell the whole house or at least Severide. And I just do not need everyone and his dog knowing. Babe, I'm on Ambo, which is where I would be if I'd happened to still be on Truck. Just this one thing Matt, it's all I ask," she pleaded looking down, twisting her wedding ring with her thumb and little finger.

Matt watched as the diamonds on her ring caught the light, shimmering as they spun around her ring. He continued to watch as she sat on the side of their bed, her left forefinger coming to rest on her lips, her ring still being nervously being spun around her finger. Making quick work of his buttons Matt glanced over at the dresser that stood in the corner of their bedroom. Gabby's engagement ring sat atop a pearl-like plate, in the same spot it would sit after each shift if she hadn't put it back on. She had a routine, depending on whether or not she was able to shower at the house at the end of shift; if she could she would shower, put both of her rings back on and gather up her and Matt's washing to sort out at home. She wasn't without her rings for very long, today hadn't been on of those days. The pregnancy induced fatigue had meant that Gabby had walked into the house in a daze, undone her necklace, placing the engagement ring on the dresser and fallen into bed without so much as a shower or breakfast. Knowing that they were expected at her parents for dinner, she hadn't done much at all that day, so her ring was still where she had left it. Matt swiped it up, rocking the ring back between his fingers.

Moving the bedclothes slightly, he took a seat next to her and offered up the ring waving it just under her nose. "What do you say, fourth time's a charm?" he teased in an attempt to make her smile.

Gabby gave him a weak smile, "Is that the best you can do?" She reached out for the ring, just as Matt pulled it out of her reach, Matt gave her a cheeky smirk as he dropped to his knee, proffering the ring up to her. Gabby dissolved into fits of giggles despite herself.

"Well?" he asked in mock indignation, trying to keep the smile off of his face. Gabby gave him a look, claimed back her ring placing it back where it belonged before pulling Matt back up to meet her lips.

"Well Mr. Casey…" she drawled, "since we've just become engaged, don't you think we need to celebrate?" she quipped, pushing him down onto the bed, flopping down next to him, attempting to kiss him.

Allowing her a few moments with their lips pressed together, Matt groaned and helped her into a sitting position. "Come on now, we really do need to get to your parents' house."

Gabby pouted, bottom lip on full display before whining about not being able to find anything to wear. Matt gazed back at her shocked, gesturing at the open doors of her walk-in closet, "You don't think you have enough clothes to wear right in there?" he questioned. The main bedroom had these two amazingly built in walk in closets that had more than enough room in each, honestly compared to their previous apartment or even the place that Matt had shared with Hallie, they could have easily shared a closet. But Gabby liked that she could spread her items out, there was actually a space in Matt's closet purely for their work gear, he had offered to store it all, it wasn't like he was using much space in his closet.

"Yes Matt, I know that I have many many clothes, but I can't quite find anything to fit me right" she grumbled. Matt tugged at the cord of her dressing gown, pulling it free, before running a hand over the still taut stomach that Gabby had. "That's not the problem," she commented, gesturing upwards. "I can't find anything to cover my chest… Or something that at least draws attention away from it," she moaned, curling up into the fetal position.

Sighing, Matt hauled himself up from the bed and wandered over to the closet. He would have been lying if he hadn't noticed an enhancement in her already ample chest, it was definitely one of the many benefits that her pregnancy had brought to him, but he knew better than to actually make mention of it. Who knew what sort of reaction she would give him, there were likely going to be tears or shouting, he figured based on her past emotional responses, yes mood swings were in full flight in the Casey household. Looking back at his wife, Matt flicked through a number of Gabby's more flowing tops before coming up with a suggestion.

"Gabs?" he prodded at her as he lay the clothes on the bed. She lifted her head to find that Matt had fished out a pair of stretchy skinny jeans, a tank top and a flowing solid black button up. She grinned slightly, who would have thought that the tough Truck Lieutenant Matthew Casey would have such good taste in clothes. This was perfect for concealing parts of her body, she wouldn't really need to button it all up, and even if she did, she could tuck the shirt into her jeans and fluff it slightly so it didn't sit too snug against her body. A grin slowly grew on her face, as Matt pulled her into a seated position. "Come on Babe. We're going to be late!" Giving her a slight pat on the behind, he scurried off to make sure everything was ready to take to the Dawsons' place.

* * *

"Look who's finally decided to grace us with her presence," teased Antonio as he pulled opened the door to allow Matt and Gabby into the house. Shaking her head at her brother, she simply pushed passed him intent on heading towards the kitchen where she was sure her parents would be. "Well, well," he continued as he followed after her. "So why are you so late? You're never late… Unless... Oh no," he mock groaned looking back and forth from Gabby to Matt and back again. "Really sis? You two really can't keep your hands off each other can you?"

From behind him, Matt could only stand and shake his head, however with Gabby's emotions the way they were, her temper flared as she turned to face Antonio. "Antonio Dawson! People do not need to hear things like that!"

"Yeah," contributed Matt, "Just 'cause you're not getting any," he teased. That was the wrong thing to say Matt quickly found out as Gabby turned on him and gave him a dirty look, causing him to lift his hands in surrender as she tossed her bag into the living room.

"Whoa!" Antonio interjected, "What's eating you?"

"You!" Gabby bit back as she turned on her heel before running headfirst into her father's chest. "Dad?" Miguel Dawson was a fairly tall man, into his 60s now, not that one would have guessed it on first glance. There had never been any question who Gabby and Antonio belonged too, she was the spitting image of her mother, Adriana. And Antonio was a younger version of Miguel, right down to the chiselled jaw, although the elder Dawson's hair was now more of a salt and pepper look colouring as opposed to Antonio's jet black mop. Gabby secured her arms around her father, squeezing him close, it had been awhile since she had made it home. When her parents had decided to come back to Chicago on a more permanent basis, she and Antonio had decided that they as a family would come together more often, but with her 24/48 hour swings and his unpredictable work hours, it didn't happen as often as they would like it to. So when Adriana had rung about dinner, Gabby had quickly made up her mind that it was going to be a good time to make their announcement.

"Your mother is in the kitchen, I'm sure you want to see her," he told her. Grinning slightly she pushed herself up onto her toes to place a kiss on her father's cheek.

"Thanks, Papá." Turning back around to Antonio and Matt, she gave them a stern glance, "And you two behave yourselves," with a wag of her finger she flounced out of the room and into the kitchen. Antonio stopped mid-walk to look over at Matt, confused look on his face. Matt just shook his head before advancing to greet his father-in-law with a handshake and hug.

Gabby paused in the doorway to the kitchen to take in the sight of her mother bustling around the kitchen, stirring pots on the stove and just generally fluffing around making sure that everything was in order. Taking a deep breath, Gabby felt the tears pricking at her eyes. As she closed her eyes, in her imagination she could see a little girl wandering around unsteadily on her feet, weaving in and around both Gabby's and Adriana's legs as they cooked together… Soon Adriana would pull her granddaughter up onto her hip and start to murmur words about how these were important dishes to the Dawson family and that she too must learn how to cook them to perfection. Gabby saw it all so clearly, just as she remembered doing the same thing with her Mamá and Abuelo when she was a little girl.

Her sniff brought Adriana's attention to her, "Gabriela? How long have you been standing there? Is everything ok? I'm sure I heard you sniff, are you feeling okay, have you a cold?" she continued to fuss over her as she came closer. Gabby's eyes popped open.

"Mamá!" protested Gabby as she tried to swat away her mother's hand from her own forehead. "I'm fine. One little sniff does not make me sick…" Watching her mother give her a concerned look, "Mamá, I'm a paramedic, I think I would know if I was sick! … Now what can I do to help?" she enquired looking around the kitchen where it seemed like Adriana seem to have everything under control.

"All I'm saying is that you two can't seem to keep your hands off of each other, and I'm surprised that you haven't announced anything yet, that's all," Antonio's voice floated into the kitchen as the men entered. Gabby looked up just in time to see Matt's eyes go slightly wide at the comment.

"Antonio Miguel Diego Dawson!" Adriana's stern voice cut through Antonio's ramblings, "Leave your sister alone!" He stopped short and at least had the decency to look sheepish.

"But Mamá, they were late… And we all know why…" he grumbled.

"Enough Hijo," she commanded. Matt smiled slightly as he surveyed the scene taking place in front of them. It was just more confirmation that Gabby was certainly her mother's daughter, he had been at the receiving end of that tone of voice and glare when he was in trouble before.

"Adriana," he greeted moving over to greet his mother-in-law, smirking slightly at the warning look he received.

"Matthew," she warned him. He was always known as Matthew by his mother-in-law.

"Sorry, Mamá," he corrected himself before placing a kiss on her cheek. In all of the short time that he and Gabby had been married Adriana had insisted that he call her Mamá. And as weird as he had found this at first, it did make him feel like he was accepted and genuinely part of the family. And this was why he supported Gabby telling their family tonight because it was _their_ family. He had never felt any different in the Dawson family house, he was accepted and loved by Miguel and Adriana just as much as Antonio and Gabby were. "How can I help?"

Adriana ushered her children out of the kitchen, sending them towards the dining room where Miguel was pouring wine for everyone. Gabby didn't even have time to protest before she was handed a glass, she exchanged a glance with Matt before bringing the glass to her lips without actually tasting it. Placing her glass back onto the table she made noises about going to help her mother serve the food.

"Mamá?" she questioned as she pulled off a cover on a large pot that had just been placed on the table. "Is that what I think it is?" Matt gave her a slightly bewildered look, still not as confident with all the traditional food and what they were called yet. Over the years he had become more and more accustomed to the different and traditional dishes that were regularly served here, but there were still many that caught him off-guard and he would have no idea what they actually were. Luckily for him, his mother-in-law was always happy to supply him with more new food to try.

"Is that Sancocho de Siete Carnes?" Antonio interjected, trying to stick a spoon into the pot to get a taste.

His mother slapped his wrist gently, reprimanding him. "Is that special?" Matt asked as they sat down ready for dinner.

Miguel nodded, "It is a seven meat stew, it is one of our dishes that is usually prepared for special occasions," he informed the young man. "We had it for the engagement party. In the Dominican, we would have it for engagements, weddings, baptisms. Also at a girl's 15th birthday, that birthday is a rite of passage, a celebration of the symbolic passage into adulthood. Gabby had it at hers along with a feast of other traditional dishes."

"Along with a pink frilly poofy dress too," Antonio told Matt, his eyes dancing with laughter.

Matt's eyes widen in delight, "Are there photos?" he asked of Gabby. He hissed as she poked him in the stomach. "Urgh, mean wife," he teased. "And what's the occasion today?"

"Our family is together," Adriana spoke up, "That is all the celebration what we need," she told them, looking fondly at each of the members of her family.

* * *

Dinner was a fairly lively affair, with the elder Dawsons updating them on the family back in the Dominican Republic and Antonio in turn telling them all about what Eva and Diego had been up to, he himself didn't get to see his children as often as he would like either. Gabby soaked it all in, they had always been a close family and even though they couldn't have a family dinner once week as she knew her mother would have liked, she was determined to be present in the moment and enjoy all of the stories that were being shared around the table. Maybe that would something that they would able to start doing again soon, Gabby hoped.

"Gabriela?" Her father's voiced pulled her from her own thoughts as the dinner plates were cleared away. "Are you okay?" She could sense the concern from her father.

Looking over at him, she shook slightly, "Hmm? What was that Papá?" she questioned distractedly.

"Hija, you haven't touched your wine at all. Are you feeling okay?"

"Fine Dad, I just didn't think that the wine was suiting my meal tonight," she tried to cover. Matt glanced over at her, picking up that she was reaching a point of exhaustion. A glance up to the clock told him that it was nearing 8:30 and she would be struggling to keep her eyes open for much longer. Stretching out, he slipped his hand into hers, as they follow the family into the living room for coffee. Gabby braced herself for the smell of coffee that was about to hit her, hoping that she would still feel 'normal'. Shaking her head in rejection of the coffee as it was passed to her, she took a seat warily next to Matt.

"Gabs?" Antonio broke through again. "So no wine or coffee?" he began, obviously hinting at something. She shot him a look, of course, he would pick up on something like that, between being her older brother and a detective, there wasn't too much that would slip by him.

Hesitantly Gabby reached over into her bag pulling out two presents, pausing for a moment she steeled her nerves and passed one to her parents and then the other to her brother before curling up on the couch next to Matt, tucking her feet under herself, to watch what was about to happen. Her parents began to question her about it in an attempt to find out what was going on, but she stubbornly shook her head as Matt gestured towards the present before slipping his phone out of his pocket to capture their reactions.

Delicately Adriana began to unwrap the present that had been laid on her lap, all eyes including Antonio's on her, everyone interested in what was contained in the box. A breath caught in her throat as she pulled out a pacifier and note.

 _Dear Abuela and Abuelo,_ it read

 _Please hold onto this for me, in case I need it when I come to visit. Knowing_ _Mamá, she'll probably forget it. See you in April!_

 _Love baby Dawson-Casey_ _._

Adriana looked over at them with wide eyes, lost for words. Miguel, noticing something else still left in the box, dug it out. Pulling out the little onesie that Matt had stuffed in, his face broke into a large grin at the sight of a fire truck printed on. "Oh I'm not sure about this fire truck here, Matthew," he said in jest.

Antonio craned his neck, trying to see what was on the article of clothing. "Yeah! I second that!" before tearing into his own present. He withdrew a t-shirt, laughing at what was on it - 'World's Okayest Uncle'. "Gee thanks, sis," he commented as he pulled it over his head. "Wait there's more." He picked up the card that had been accidently discarded onto the floor.

 _Brother, you're great._

 _Handsome, smart._

 _A real charmer._

 _You're so great,_

 _That we've been thinking a_

 _Promotion_

 _Is in order._

 _Does Uncle_

 _Work for you?_

"Something for you to put up on your fridge," Matt told him and the spell was broken.

Adriana swept Gabby into a hug, "Oh mi querida Hija , no podría estar más feliz para usted y Matthew . No puedo creer que este día finalmente ha llegado para ti . Y su papá y no puedo esperar para recibir a nuestro nuevo miembro de la familia," she whispered into her ear before allowing Miguel to hug her too. Looking over, she saw that Antonio had Matt in an embrace too, tears starting to form in his eyes.

"I'm so happy for you bro. Having children, you know that there is nothing more magical in your life," he told Matt. "And you," he turned to Gabby, who's face was damp with tears, "I love you Hermana... so much." He reached up to wipe away the tears that had fallen before leaning down to her stomach, tickling it slightly, "And you in there, Tio loves you too," he finished with a final poke.

Gabby laughed as she slapped him on the back of the head, "Oi, don't poke!"

 _~ Candidate has graduated from embryo to fetus. His digestive tract and reproductive organs are formed this week ~_

* * *

Translation of the Spanish:

 _Oh my darling daughter, I could not be happier for you and Matthew. I can't believe that this day has finally arrived for you. And your father and I can't wait to welcome our new family member._

 **Hope you all enjoyed this chapter ~ Of all the chapters that I have written so far I think this one is my favourite. I love the whole Antonio/Gabby relationship. Much of this chapter was inspired by Arielle and Adam Jacob's version of A Whole New World on YouTube. You have to check out these two amazingly talented siblings – I'm sure I have a tweet about it too**

 **Hopefully, you also liked my interpretation of the elder Dawsons. Very much looking forward to seeing them on our screens – Rebecca and I were talking about this the other day, and I'm wondering if they are the push that Matt and Gabby need to actually make it to the altar. And following along on that vein – maybe that's where Antonio and Brett hook up – Just our musings**


	8. Week 10 - Laundry

**Woot! I remembered this week... In the interests of sharing about my week - we had our sports carnival this week, glad that is over. However, two days later I am still hobbling around my classroom after being roped into running in the teacher vs students relay race. Note to self: stretch next time.**

 **As always thanks to R for everything! And to everyone for reviewing - I'm always happy to receive long reviews and hearing what you liked and didn't like. As a side note can we just pause a moment to appreciate the tweet that Jesse posted this week in front of Truck 81**

* * *

 _Week 10_

 _~ Candidate is about the size of a prune ~_

"Did you know that Smudge's elbows are working this week, even though he's only the size of a prune? And that tiny buds of baby teeth are forming under the gums? Can you believe that Smudge is only ten weeks old and he has teeth?" Matt spoke up from the couch in the bedroom on their second day off as he flipped through a book that Gabby had left lying around on the table. "Babe? ...Baby?" he called out, looking around for the absent Gabby. He was certain that she had still been around when he had walked back into the room. Rising up, he found Gabby standing in front of the full sized mirror on her side of the closet, her top pulled up.

Gabby had found herself in front of the mirror turned sideways, looking down at the slight roundness that she found. Gabby had never been a skinny, skinny person and she liked that. Her pants were starting to become a slight bit snugger, but nothing that she wasn't able to wear. She didn't know if she could handle having to buy maternity clothes just yet, she was only 10 weeks. Her body was getting slightly bigger and when she got out of the shower this morning, she decided that she was going to embrace the pregnancy and have a proper look in the mirror.

A gasp became stuck in her throat, there was this roundness in her lower abdomen, a slight firmness that she cautiously ran her hands over. This hadn't happened last time, they had lost the baby so early that they hadn't seen any physical changes in her body. It was all suddenly becoming more and more real with every passing day. However, looking over in the mirror again, Gabby decided she didn't look pregnant at all, it was more like she had eaten a rather large meal or was just bloated. Allowing her t-shirt to fall back down into its normal position, she smoothed the shirt down, turning left and then right staring intently at her stomach. She was quite grateful that with the shirt on it wasn't at all noticeable. Pulling at her shirt again, the sight made tears pool in her eyes, not that the near constant tiredness and increase in breast size wasn't enough of an indication to herself that they were expecting a child.

Gabby was so intent on looking at her belly that she didn't even see Matt in the mirror. A shiver went down her spine as Matt unexpectedly came up behind her, placing his large warm hands over her belly, tucking his chin over her shoulder. They stood for a moment or so just gazing at the mirror, taking in the sight of a very little swell.

Leaning down he whispered into her ear, "And brain tissue is rapidly rapidly, muscles forming, fingers and toes becoming defined. Smudge even has started to grow fingernails."

Gabby turned to look at him, her mouth wide open, "Of all the things that you could say, Matthew," she grumbled as she pulled away from him to finish getting herself ready for the day. "Where do you find all this information anyway?" she called out from inside her closet. Matt stuck his head in the small room, a book in his hand. Gabby shook her head slightly at him before making her way down into the kitchen to start making breakfast.

Not long later they were sitting outside on the deck, enjoying some relatively warm sunshine as they finished breakfast. Gabby watched as Matt finished his coffee, before placing her own glass down on the table. She had been thinking of what they were going to do with themselves after the baby arrived, it had been playing on her mind for a week or so now, but hadn't been too sure how to bring it up with Matt. She was worried about the reaction she was about to receive.

"Matt?" she cautiously started, not sure what he would be thinking about the situation. "I've been thinking… about the baby and the job."

Matt's eyes snapped over to her. He too had been thinking about this, not that he would have said anything to her. Rather he had been waiting for her to bring it up just as he had with telling the house. Honestly, he would have preferred that Gabby take a different job within the department, but he wouldn't be saying that to her face... Well, not just yet! He could still clearly remember telling her before she had become his candidate that he worried about her every time she went off on the Ambo and that concern had indeed increased ten-fold when she became a firefighter. But now she carrying his child, every time the bells went, he could feel his blood pressure rise a little higher each time.

"It was different with Louie, Matt. He wasn't a newborn when he came into our lives. Transferring over to Ambo was the right thing to do, he needed me to come home safe every shift to him. I would have done anything to make sure that that was going to be his reality. But Matt, I just keep thinking about our lives as first responders and once I had the taste of firefighting, that's all I wanted to do. I wanted to run headfirst into burning buildings, I wanted to fight fires and save people from burning buildings. There is a rush that we all get from doing our job. And I do miss it, Matt," she told him, grasping onto one of his hands. Looking down, she rubbed her other hand over her belly, "But baby, I don't think that I want to go back to Truck, not at 51, not anywhere… Not just yet," she confessed.

Matt nodded carefully, "And right now?"

"I'm happy where I am Matt," she insisted. "Being around our fire family, it's what I need right now. And I know that when we tell them, they'll be there with me, with us, with you Matt, every step of the way. We have this inbuilt support system, that is something that we couldn't buy with any money. They've been there for so much in our lives, the highs and the lows. And I don't want to lose any of that... not right now." Gabby glanced up to study his face trying to work out what he was thinking, but it seemed to be unreadable, even to her.

"Would I prefer that you weren't still on Ambo? I can't lie to you Gabby, I do want you to be behind a desk. But Gabby I will support you all the way, until Doctor Peterson recommends that you can't be. And then whichever way you choose to go, whichever job you decide to take, I'll support you," he told her rubbing a thumb over the back of her hand.

"Baby I think I'm saying that I may never want to go back to the Truck. I wonder if my firefighting days are over?" Gabby mentioned as she started to draw patterns with her finger on her leg. She had never thought that she would ever feel this way. Pre-pregnancy she just thought that at some point she would be stepping back onto a truck sooner or later. That shift she had done a few weeks ago had made her seriously re-consider it. There was nothing like running into a burning building, but now every time Gabby thought about it, her mind would go straight back to their kitchen chalkboard filled with pictures, automatically focusing on their ultrasound. She just couldn't imagine doing it again, rather she was imaging sitting on the floor playing with her child.

"And that will be fine Gabs… No one wants you to make a decision about the rest of your life… About our lives right now," he comforted.

Gabby stood to take a seat on Matt's lap, running her hand over his cheek, the other going to the back of his neck, massaging it lightly. "Thank you," she started. "Can we table the discussion about what we're going to do after Smudge arrives for another day?" she sniffed, trying to push down any more emotions she was feeling about the whole situation.

"Hey, hey, hey," Matt cupped her cheek as she continued to sniff, "Where's this coming from?"

"I don't know… I think… I always knew that I wanted to go back to Truck one day… It didn't matter that you weren't going to be my lieutenant anymore… I just wanted to be back on a truck," she whimpered, "But now… I just don't know Matt… Am I going to want to go back after the baby comes? …I always thought that nothing would stop me working… But this baby… I just want to spend as much time as I can with her... or him," she told him before breaking down completely.

Matt pulled her closer to him, rocking her gently. Ugly tears streamed down her face, as she hiccupped and tried to pull herself together, still unsure what it was that was causing her to even feel this uncomfortable feeling. She had always been so sure of herself. Matt, on the other hand, had had a feeling that this may have been on the cards. He knew that Gabby was going to be an amazing mother, he had seen it first hand when they were fostering Louie. This baby was much wanted and waited for in the Casey family.

"Gabby... Baby…" he spoke up, playing with her curls, "we don't need to know what we're going to do right now. Smudge here," his hand covered the one that was resting on the swell, "isn't going to be here for a while. Let's not make any decisions right now, we've got plenty of time for all of those decisions. And I'll support you whatever decision that you make Babe... One step at a time."

* * *

Dawson tapped on Casey's door lightly before sticking her head in. "Washing Lieutenant?"

"In my locker," he responded without looking up from the reports that had been piling up on his desk. "Come in, take a seat, I'll just be a minute. You look exhausted."

"You haven't even looked up for over an hour since you arrived back from that last call. How do you even know what I look like?" she shot back.

Still without looking up, Casey held up his left hand.

"Yes, that is your wedding ring... That won't help you," Dawson mentioned deadpan. "You might also lose it if you're not careful."

Even that comment didn't raise Casey's eyes from his paper, rather he simply motioned to his watch. "It's way past 8 o'clock, there is no way you aren't dead on your feet right now. Doesn't matter how quiet the shift may have been. You are tired Dawson." Despite herself, she gave a small grin knowing that he was right. Her body seemed to be working on a routine these days, come 7:30 in the evening and it was like a switch flicked off and she was instantly exhausted.

"Why is the laundry in your locker?" she mumbled as she settled herself onto the rather uncomfortable bed. Grabbing the spare pillow that was under the bed, Dawson fluffed it and slid in under her hip sighing slightly as she tried to make herself comfortable, maybe she could make it slightly more comfortable than her own bunk. Casey had managed to make a nice indent in his mattress, one that Dawson fitted into well.

"Hmm?" he muttered before turning his head slightly to watch her twist and turn in her spot on the bed. Casey quietly placed his pen down and spun so he was sitting sideways on his chair. He continued to silently observe her, watching as she pulled up the pillow from behind herself, punched it into shape and tried to stuff it behind herself whilst pushing back on it. Still fidgeting around she tried to move the pillow under her hip into more comfortable position, all the while looking for something else in the room, not at all noticing that Matt was watching her intently. Rising silently, Matt crouched down next to the small table that was next to his bunk, reaching into the small cubby hole where he stored a few items pulling out an older jacket. Gabby looked over at him as he passed over his quilted lieutenant jacket, knowing that this just might be the perfect 'comfort' item.

"I wondered where this had disappeared to," she mused as her fingers danced over the yellow stitching announcing lieutenant to anyone who saw it. "This was one of my more favourite jackets," she told him, laughter dancing in her eyes.

"Hmm… That's why it's in here. I knew you would be stealing it if you could get your mitts on it," he laughed as he draped it over her, tucking it around her upper body before squishing the back pillow down slightly. "And here I thought you'd be warm, having your own little heater in there," he spoke up, brushing his hand over her stomach briefly, before she raised her eyebrows at him, giving a warning glance towards to windows. "Shh… You just rest there and I'll get to the laundry."

"No, I want to do it. Need to keep busy, keeps me awake," she told him.

Casey laughed slightly, "Ok, how about you rest, I'll finish my reports and then I'll help you with the laundry?" he compromised as he pressed a kiss to her temple. She was out like a light before he had even sat back down at his desk. Smiling to himself he picked back up his pen and started back on his reports.

"Hey, Casey?" Severide's voice boomed from the door. Casey looked up, motioned towards the sleeping figure on his bed and raised his eyebrows in question towards Severide. "Just wondering if you had the files from the last call we went on last shift? I was sure that I finished that report, but I can't find it. Figured it might have been caught up with the rest of the reports from that shift," Severide questioned, his voice lowered a considerable amount.

Casey paused, his face scrunched up in thought, "Check with Connie," he finally deduced, "I gave her all of my reports, so you probably did too. Otherwise Boden would be on your case about unfinished reports… Not that that's out of the norm," he teased.

Severide glared at him before nodded in thanks, "Everything ok?" he questioned, jerking a thumb in Dawson's direction. "Dawson seems slightly off." Casey's head jerked up to look at his friend's concerned face, if Severide could pick up that something was off it wasn't going to be long before the others in the house started to question what was happening. It was not like Sev was the most observant person in the world. Casey had to pull himself out of this little dream world, he just wanted to tell his best friend his good news, but at the same time, he needed to respect his wife's wishes. That and if he did spill Dawson would kick his ass. But he was desperate to tell somebody. He might just outrank her at work, but with her mood swings, there would be no telling what she might do. Plus, she would argue that they were in different chains of command - just a technicality in his mind. "Case?"

"She just hasn't been sleeping well," Casey confirmed. "Told her to sleep here, we can shut out some of the noise in here," he finished lamely.

"Hmm… You should let her get some more sleep at night," he teased, ducking behind the door frame and out of sight as Casey threw an eraser at him.

An hour later, Casey finally placed his pen down for the last time, pushing his paperwork away from him. Turning around he found Gabby still asleep, contemplating what he could do, he didn't want to jinx it but where was he going to sleep if he didn't wake her sooner or later? There was no way he would be slumming it in the bunks. What would his company think of that? _No,_ that would not be happening. And there was still washing to do. He busied himself collecting his laundry from his locker where he had stuffed it earlier. Casey had intended to throw his clothes in before they got their first call out of the morning, but when the bells sounded he had decided to store his clothing in his locker.

Casey placed his items into the washer as he heard Dawson sing out to him, "Mine in there too?" He turned around with a sheepish look on his face. "You forgot my clothes?"

"Couldn't find them."

"You mean; you didn't look for them… On my bunk, in the basket," she told him, pointing back into the bunk room. As she turned back to Casey she took a deep breath, placing a hand onto the washer to steady herself.

"Hey," Casey took a step towards her, watching as she placed a hand over her mouth. "Everything okay?"

Dawson drew in a shaky breath as she lowered her hand, "Yeah, just a bit dizzy still. Must have gotten up too fast," she told him, as she pulled Casey's jacket closer to her body. Casey began to rub his hands up and down her biceps, a concerned look still across his face.

"Are you sure?"

Dawson gave him a small smile, "All normal," she told him in a soft voice.

"What's all normal?" interrupted Kidd as she strode into the laundry breaking the mood in between the couple.

"That the minute she found my lieutenant's jacket again, she would take it, like it belonged to her," Casey teased, covering up their conversation. Kidd looked from one to the other, not sure if she actually believed what her lieutenant was telling her.

"My laundry basket is on my bunk Casey," Dawson hinted, giving him an out.

"Yeah, right," Matt commented, clapping his hands together, "I'm just going to…" as he disappeared out of the small room.

Kidd turned on the balls of her feet to find Dawson rubbing the heel of her palm into her forehead, the exhaustion evident in her friend. She looked on as Dawson took a few deep breaths trying to steady herself. Frowning for a moment or two, Kidd wondered what has going on with one of her closest friends, Dawson had been acting weird for a few weeks. Brett had even mentioned how Dawson had slept through the bells just a few shifts ago, something wasn't right. Kidd began to tap her fingers against the next washing machine as the wheels turned around in her mind.

"Gabby," she gasped. "You're not!" Kidd began to get excited. Dawson looked over at her friend's excited look, willing herself not to react. "You and Casey... there's going to be…"

"I don't know what you're talking about Kidd," Dawson brushed her off. Kidd opened her mouth to say more only to be cut off by the bells.

'Ambo 61, suspected heart attack West Cullerton Ave'

Dawson took off in the direction of the apparatus floor, "Saved by the bell," she muttered under her breath as she went through the break room.

"Yo Dawson," Otis called out as she jogged through. "Get a promotion that we didn't hear about?"

"Huh?" she skidded to a stop, wondering what on earth Otis could be talking about

"Jacket," Herrmann supplied from the couch, grinning at her confused state.

Dawson looked down finding herself with Matt's jacket still on, lifting her head she glared as her previous truck buddies before shedding the jacket and tossing it in Casey's direction. "I want that back later," she threw over her shoulder.

* * *

Dawson glanced down at her watch, finding that it was well past the end of her shift, everyone else on Second Watch had already left and it seemed that Third Watch was out on a call. After that suspected heart attack, she and Brett had been called out no less than five more times that night. If she had been exhausted last night, then she couldn't even begin to describe what it was she was feeling right now. They walked over to the incoming PIC, passing him the keys to allow him to gas the Ambo up.

"I think," Brett yawned. "I am going to head home and just pass out," she farewelled as she closed her locker. "I'll see you later." Dawson barely lifted her hand in response before making her way into Casey's office.

"Hey," she greeted, tossing her bag onto his desk. Matt was already out of his uniform, that quilted jacket around his shoulders.

"Hey," he responded, jumping up from his bunk where he had been reading to wrap her up in his arms. "How are you?" he questioned, pressing a kiss to her hair. Gabby yawned unable to answer. They stood there in silence, enjoying the calm after what had been a hectic shift.

Out of nowhere Gabby gasped as her hand flew down to her left hip bone area, flexing at her hips.

"Gabby? What is it? What's wrong?"

"I don't know," came her worried response, "Something hurts though, it's feels like a pulled muscle on my left side… Something's wrong, though, I think." Her words were coming out fast, stabbing Matt's heart much like the physical pain she was feeling. Gabby found herself unable to breathe, everything around her became a blur, it couldn't be happening again, she wouldn't be able to take it. As she straightened up again, she felt another crampy ache shoot around her lower body, and she began to sob. "I can't do this again Matt... I can't lose this baby too!"

Without hesitation, Matt gathered up both of their bags and picked her up bridal style before rushing out of the door intent on arriving at Med as soon as he could.

* * *

Matt glanced around the waiting room at Med as he helped Gabby through the door, her bag still slung over his shoulder. The pain had lessened on the ride over, but Gabby was still feeling crampy and her anxiety levels were rising with every passing moment. As they passed through the door, Matt spotted April and he by-passed the desk.

"April," he hollered out.

"Lieutenant Casey?" She approached him, a confused look across her face. "What's the…" The pained sight on Gabby's face caused her to stop the sentence mid-way. "No time, let's get her into a room, SOMEONE GET ME DR MANNING… Okay Gabby, let's move," she ushered them into a room as Natalie Manning brought up the rear.

"Matt?" Gabby called out.

"Right here baby," he rounded the bed, holding onto her hand peppering it with kisses. "I'm right here, everything is going to be okay," he promised before looking up at Dr Manning.

"10 weeks?" April confirmed with Gabby. On her nod, April continued, "10 weeks pregnant, came into Med for unknown causes as of yet."

Natalie nodded, stood opposite Matt and looked over at April, "Get me the ultrasound and page her OB… Now Gabby what's the problem?"

"Her OB is private, Dr Peterson delivers here, but she isn't in today… I'll see who else I can find," informed April before disappearing out of the small room.

"I... I…" she hesitated. Matt pressed another kiss to her forehead. "We'd just finished shift. And suddenly Gabby was holding onto her side, she was in some pain and we just don't know what happened," he finished for her.

Will Halstead poked his head into the room, bring in a machine for them, nodding in greeting to the two firefighters. Pausing slightly, he leant down and whispered something into Natalie's ear before exiting swiftly. Natalie's eyes widened upon hearing what he had to say.

"What?" Matt demanded, snapping at the seated doctor.

"Dr Halstead was just filling me in on Gabby's history. Knowing that, what type of pain were you experiencing? Is it a constant pain?"

Gabby bit her lower lip and shook her head. "Not constant, not feeling it now. It was a sharp pain, almost like a stabbing pain at one point. After that it was just like a cramping pain… What's happening, is the baby okay?" she whimpered.

Natalie gave her a soft smile, "A pain along your lower belly?" she questioned as she ran a gloved hand along Gabby's hip bone. Upon the next nod, her smile became slightly wider. "Gabby, I think what you're experiencing is round ligament pain…"

"But that usually doesn't come around until the second trimester," Gabby interjected.

Natalie gave her a quick smile, "Yes, but you're close at 10 weeks. And whilst not common, it isn't unusual for women to experience it at your stage of the pregnancy." Turning to Matt she continued, "Round ligament pain - During pregnancy, the uterus expands from about the size of an apple to the size of a watermelon. The ligaments that surround and support the uterus and connect it to the groin, these are collectively called round ligaments, have to stretch and thicken to accommodate that change. So the pain may be sharp pains or just aches and pains. During my pregnancy, they were much more stretchy feeling and crampy, though still painful. But it's all normal, annoying, but normal."

"Are you sure?" Gabby asked, still feeling her heart racing and the worried edge still hanging around. Natalie nodded before turning to the small machine that Will had dropped in.

"Sorry April wasn't able to find the ultrasound machine in a hurry. But I'm sure this will do the trick for now," she chatted as she pulled up Gabby's shirt and placed the Doppler onto her skin, moving it around for a moment or so, trying to detect what she was searching for. If this wasn't accurate enough she would go in search of the actual ultrasound machine, but she wasn't willing to worry the young couple with that, not just yet.

Soon a loud thump-thump filled the small room. Gabby turned her face towards Matt's tears streaming down her cheeks. Matt, himself couldn't have ever prepared himself for the love that he was feeling at that moment, the first time he heard his child's heartbeat. It had torn him into pieces that they hadn't been able to experience this the first time and now here it was. Loud, strong and clear. He bent himself down to capture her lips in a passionate kiss before pulling back to wipe away the tears that were still falling down her face, obvious to those that were streaming down his.

Resting his head again her forehead, he squeezed his eyes shut tight, letting the thump-thump wash over him.

"Seems like baby is doing fine, Mom and Dad," Natalie broke into their thoughts, "They're…"

"Smudge," interrupted Matt, turning to look at her. Gabby burst out laughing at the confused look on Natalie's face.

"He's calling our little candidate baby 'Smudge' because that's what it looked like on the first ultrasound," Gabby informed her. She had decided to just go with whatever Matt wanted to nickname the baby, in a sense he was right, the baby did look like a smudge. However, she personally, would have probably nicknamed it Candidate, that would have made more sense. She shook her head slightly before turning back to Natalie. "Sorry, you were saying?"

" _Smudge_ ," Natalie began again, a smirk firmly planted on her face. "Is doing well. Strong heartbeat, 130 beats a minutes. Right on track for this point in your pregnancy," she finished as she began to pack things away. "I'll be back in a few moments."

Natalie turned as she reached the door, "Oh and by the way congratulations!"

 _~ She can stretch her spine. Her eyes and eyelids are more developed and her eyebrows are beginning to grow ~_

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed the latest week, let me know what you think**

 **~Em**


	9. Week 11 - Conversations With A Doctor

**I** **was worried that I would forget today, but here it is... Today marked the end of term three and the end of my stint teaching my year 5/6 class - I'll be going back to my old school next term, so it's been a pretty emotional day for me... Thanks everyone for all of their thoughts and comments, it is always appreciated.**

 **My guest reviewer Alex - you were my 100th review (which I cannot believe by the way. You guys are so awesome - thank you so much for this). Alex if you want to PM me or DM on Twitter and ask a question about the story or for something else, I will do my best to accommodate you... I haven't worked out all the details of the story though**

* * *

 _Week 11_

 _~ Candidate is about the size of a lime ~_

"Natalie!" Gabby greeted as the young doctor sat herself down at the bar in Molly's the night after Gabby had finished a shift at the house. "We don't see you much in here… What can I get for you? Red wine?"

"You know what? I will have a wine… First time out in a while, why not?" Natalie nodded as she kept talking, "My mother-in-law offered to take Owen and told me to leave the house. I can't remember the last time that I was able to actually get out of the house at night, even if it is only 6pm. And then Maggie and April insisted that I come out for a drink," she finished.

Gabby gave her a sly smile as she placed the glass in front of Natalie, "And then dinner with Will?"

Natalie's eyebrows raised in surprise, before shaking her head slightly, "You've been talking to Maggie? Or to Erin and Jay?" she accused playfully.

"Erin may have mentioned it when she was in last week. Just that something might be in the air…"

"Nothing is happening," Natalie informed her, taking a sip of her wine, her eyes downcast.

"And why not?" Gabby gently teased, tossing the cloth in her hand over at Otis, motioning that she was taking time out to catch up with Natalie. It wasn't often that Doctor Manning came in, and whilst Gabby wasn't as friendly with Natalie as she was with Lindsay, April or even Maggie, she could see the confusion in her eyes. Just as Second Watch at House 51 were a tight bunch of friends, Gabby could say the same thing about the Med team. Gabby only knew the bare bones of what had happened in Natalie's life, and she wasn't going to pry anymore into it, not without Natalie willingly offering it. Yet, she was still going to be a friend, the best way she could, and just listen.

"It's just too complicated. He's the attending in the ER, technically he pretty much my boss. Well at least, he's superior to me, and it's just not a good setup for any relationship… Erin, of all of the people, should be able to understand that," Natalie huffed, taking a rather large gulp of wine. "Even if Jay isn't her superior," she muttered under her breath.

Gabby looked across the bar to find Matt at the other end of the room, having a drink with Kelly and Antonio. Smiling to herself slightly, Gabby placed her hands on over Natalie's clenched ones, before starting to speak softly, "But I've been there Nat... Matt and I worked side by side before we were together. He was my lieutenant for a while, even when we were engaged the first time. Was it okay? No, it definitely was not allowed. It even tore us apart, but looking back on everything that happened, while there are things that I would change, I do not regret any time that I have had with Matt…" she turned to shoot Matt a loving smile. Natalie followed her gaze to find Matt locking eyes with his wife. It pushed her back to imagining a simpler time when she was still married, everything with Jeff seemed perfect. And how everything could be so different now, just her, Jeff and Owen…

The dulcet tones of Gabby's soft voice brought her back to the present, "I fell in love with his smile and how he looked after everyone in his own way - he will defend his men and women even at the risk of his own career. There is no one more caring in the house than him, you just need to crack through his 'tough' lieutenant exterior… And Natalie, it wasn't easy. I'll be the first to tell you that Matt and I haven't had the easiest road. And I'm not kidding myself, I know we're going to have numerous bumpy parts ahead of us too." Pausing, Gabby found herself a bottle of water feeling the need to keep herself hydrated. "I once said to Lindsay that those risks that bring you together end up weighing too much for anything long term," Gabby placed her bottle on the bar, making her way around to take a seat next to Natalie. "But Natalie, looking back at the timing of that conversation, the situation that I was in? Matt and I weren't in a good place then."

"But you got through it…" commented Natalie sadly, her eyes darting between Matt and Gabby, even she was able to sense the incredible bond that the two Caseys shared, it was so clear to anyone around them here at Molly's.

Gabby watched her for a moment, before grabbing on to Natalie's shoulder causing Natalie to look her in the eye, "It took a long time to get us to where we are now, including a very very messy breakup and we still had to work together through it all. And it was a very uncomfortable time for not only us but everyone we worked with at the house."

Natalie made a slight face as she continued to sip her wine, considering the words that Gabby had spoken, Natalie had always struggled with whatever it was she had felt for Will Halstead. There was that one kiss, what was it now, a few years ago? And Will had stepped back and understood her reluctance to get involved in a relationship with all of the baggage that she came with. There was even that flirtation that she and Jeff Clarke had shared whilst he had completed his med school rotation at Med, but nothing was ever going to come of it. Her two Jeffs were much too close, and as much as she had enjoyed Jeff's company she would never be able to think of him as anything more than simply a friend.

"You know, Will took a step back a while ago?" she murmured, almost as if it was only information for herself. Gabby sat back slightly, just letting Natalie open up for herself. "Actually twice, just after Owen was born. And I understood that I was still hanging on to the memory of Jeff. I hadn't let go of my dead husband - and no man should ever have to deal with that… I wasn't ready to let go Gabby, but I was eventually ready to move on. Not forget about Jeff, but I can't keep living my life holding onto a ghost," she paused as she looked down at her bare hands, her fingers running over that empty left ring finger, holding a gasp in. "Then I thought we were back into our friendship, all over a year ago, and he's still pushing me away. Whatever I thought was there Gabby, I don't know what he wants… For all I know, he doesn't want anything to do with me…"

"And how will you ever know, if you don't speak to him? ...In between all the chaos and destruction, Matt was there for me. We lost our way for a while, but he was there for me, even when I pushed him away," Gabby honestly spoke out whilst looking down at the rings on her left hand, playing with the diamond of her engagement ring. "Erin is right when she tells you that she knows what it is that brings us together, that shared interest, the common bond and an almost complete understanding of what the other is going through. I'm not saying that you need to have that shared bond to make it work. You know that Nat, your relationship, your marriage - a perfect example of a relationship working. But still, walking a mile in each other's shoes..." Gabby took a deep breathe thinking about what they went through every shift and what she really wanted to say to Natalie. "I understand more of what Matt goes through every shift because I've run into a burning building, ones that were ready to collapse, glued to his hip. I watched him make those hard decisions that only a lieutenant could make. And I became the one person who he could debrief with at the end of the day. The one that he trusted, that he could say anything to without being judged, and one who understood him. But it wasn't always that way, we had to work at that type of relationship Nat."

"Gabby," Natalie raised an eyebrow in her direction, "it's not that Will and I go through this life and death situation that you and Matt, or even Erin and Jay go through every shift. I know that I can go to work, every shift and know almost without a doubt that I will be coming home safe and sound to Owen. Yes, there might be a death or two, but I know for certain that it's not going to be me or even Will… It's not something that I can even compare to you and Erin… It's just not the same," she tried to convince Gabby, her voice sounding that she was trying to convince herself that it wasn't going to be the same.

"It doesn't make a difference," Gabby insisted. "We never know what is going to happen in life. When I started at Firehouse 51 so many years ago and I laid eyes on Matt Casey, I would never have known that I would be here, expecting his baby soon… Natalie, none of us know what the future holds. Like Matt once told me, that's why they call it the future. So you and Will don't have the life and death situation thing going on for you that Lindsay and Jay have. But do you want Will or is it actually Jay you're after?"

Natalie actually laughed at the thought of having any sort of relationship with the older Halstead brother. But if she was honest, she was jealous of what Erin and Jay had, it was clear to her that Jay knew what he wanted and had gone after it. "Don't do that," Gabby warned, "Don't think that Lindsay and Jay have it all, that they have it all worked out. I don't know what Will or even Lindsay may have told you, but they haven't had the easiest road either. And from what I know of Jay, he's a pretty private person." Natalie gave her a questioning look, but Gabby wouldn't give her anything more. "And I'm supposing that it's a Halstead male thing, don't talk about anything…. I'm beginning to think it's actually a Chicago male thing…" she chuckled.

"It's a push-pull thing with Will. He'll invite me in and then push me away," Natalie confessed. In the back of her mind, she was wondering about Gabby's comment about Jay. She knew that this was the local for District 21 and that her older brother worked with them, but it seemed as if Gabby had a more intimate understanding of Jay than she was actually letting on. Nevertheless, she figured it was none of her business and this was about her and Will. "I just don't know what I'm supposed to do in this situation…"

"Have you thought about just talking to him?" Gabby asked as if it was the most common sense thing in the world.

"I'm telling you Gabby, he is feeling very antagonistic towards me!" she insisted.

Gabby fought the urge to roll her eyes. She wondered to herself whether or not it would be ethically okay to lock Will and Natalie in a room together and not let them out until they had worked it out. She was thinking that she wouldn't let them out if they couldn't get it together, more likely just keep them in a room until they had at least sorted out their lack of communication issues. She couldn't figure out how they could even be working together smoothly if they didn't ever really talk. Upon Natalie's clearing of her throat, Gabby looked up sheepishly, not too sure if she had missed anything else after the antagonistic comment.

"But how do you know that Natalie?" Gabby questioned. Without waiting for an answer, Gabby ploughed on anyway, "How do you know that that is what he is feeling or thinking about you? Have you asked him? Or are you just assuming that you know what he's thinking?" she probed.

"Will, in so many ways, has one of the most assertive personalities in the ED. It's what makes him a great attending. I can't see why he would be harbouring any feelings for me, at least not any secret ones. It's just not in his personality…" she trailed off, looking straight ahead into the bottles.

Gabby glanced around Molly's for a few seconds, noticing that neither April or Maggie had arrived yet. Leaving Natalie sitting there with her own thoughts for a few moments, Gabby refilled Nat's wine glass and went over to hug Matt. "I just need this," she whispered into his ear before returning to the stool that she had previously occupied.

"Ask yourself, is this something that you want? Push everything aside Nat," Gabby stared her right in the eye, "Rid your mind of the job, Owen, any fears you might have, the fact that he works with you…" Natalie placed her glass down, her fingers absentmindedly running across the top of the glass as she closed her eyes to think about what Gabby had told her. Gabby, in turn, watched as a myriad of emotions washed over Nat's face unable to truly decipher what it was that she was feeling.

"I want to see where it goes with him," she finally gave up, a tear running down her cheek.

"Then what are you waiting for? You're willing to give up what is very possibly going to be a chance at happiness for the slight chance that you might be rejected? I know you're scared, especially with Owen in the picture, you need to do whatever it takes to protect your son Nat. And I can't claim to understand that, but what about you? From what I see of Will, Nat, I think he's running scared. He doesn't know if you want him or not…"

Natalie gave her a watery smile, determined not to let the tears fall, "Yeah?" she questioned before nodding her head, "Yeah, I'm going to give this is a go," her smile becoming stronger with each passing tick of the clock. "Yeah!" she gave her head a strong final nod. "Right," she stated, her fingers wiping away the last few tears that were pooled in her eyes whilst sniffing gently and then giving Gabby a wide smile, "...Enough about me. What about you and this baby?"

"Shh!" Gabby's eyes darted around to see if anyone had heard their conversation. "They don't know yet…" Natalie wore a confused expression on her face at the comment, she thought that it would have been common knowledge by now, especially in the seemingly dangerous line of Gabby's profession. "I can't go through the sympathetic faces and words again if something goes wrong," Gabby responded. Seeing Natalie open her mouth, she quickly continued, "Yes I know, there isn't any reason at all to think that anything will go wrong, but Will did mention that there is always a higher chance of another ectopic after the first… Yes I know, it's in the right spot this time, but I really don't want to say anything to anyone until we've passed the 12 week mark."

"And you're allowed to work?" skepticism evident in Natalie's question.

Gabby nodded her head, "We let Chief Boden in on the secret just after we found out, but we just weren't willing, or I wasn't willing to tell everyone about it just yet. What is on my side, this time, is the CFD policy… A pregnant woman can't serve on an active fire truck, they are to be transferred, either to Ambo or a desk job," Gabby grinned widely. "I'm already on Ambo, so I can still work at 51 without needing to tell anyone just yet!"

Giving her a gentle smile, Natalie thought carefully about what she was pondering, "I've seen you firefighters at the hospital, coming in together, supporting each other. How are you keeping it hush-hush?"

"Matt's really good at sneaking decaf coffee for me," Gabby grinned. "And apart from the slightly tighter pants, I seem to be going okay at the house."

"So duck is going well? No major issues or concerns?"

Gabby raised an eyebrow, "Duck?"

Natalie shrugged, "It's a good as anything else, limited to time to think of something too," she looked like the Cheshire cat.

"Yeah, everything is good. It's been fairly smooth sailing apart from the incident that landed me in with you last week, which was nothing in the end. Everything is like a dream…" she trailed off. "I mean the fatigue is absolutely killing me. I think if anything is hard to hide, it's how tired I am. It's like candidate pushes a button in my brain around 8 at night, and I'm instantly tired…"

"Oh, I remember that well. For me, I was exhausted by 6:30. I fell asleep when I was call one night, and the dead wouldn't have been able to wake me that night," Natalie reminisced. "I ended up having to ask Goodwin for shorter shifts and to be rostered on for day shifts, 6:30 was ridiculously early. So I really don't know how it is you are managing those 24 hour shifts."

Gabby tapped her fingers lightly on her upper thighs, "It's an adrenaline rush every call out we get, it keeps me going. According to CFD, we are free to sleep anytime after 8:30 at night, but I'm usually in my bunk doing some sort of paperwork well before then," she explained. Lowering her voice, she brought her head slightly closer. "I could do without the crazy dry skin though, I feel like the skin on my hands, especially my finger joints, is cracking. I'm waiting for the day they actually start bleeding," she joked.

"Next time you're in Med, pop in and I'll get you some Aquaphor cream. I still swear by it, constantly needing to use it. Between washing my hands at work and then at home, my skin is so dry… Just something for you to look forward to," she teased. "And all the rest of the symptoms? All there?"

"Mildly," confessed Gabby, forever grateful that nothing had hit her too badly, may be she was just one of the lucky ones.

"Oh, I could have done without the constant need to pee. Looking back on it, I think that was the first sign that allowed me to even think I was pregnant." Gabby nodded along with her, thinking over the previous weeks and that still constant need to pee… All the time! "I think the only other symptom that I could have really lived without was the morning sickness, for the first fifteen weeks of my pregnancy I was nauseated all day, every day. It was an experience that I would never wish on my worst enemy."

Natalie looked over as Gabby gave a slight light laugh, a questioning look adorning her face. "So I'm one of those horrible people that you're going to hate?" Gabby questioned lightly. "No morning sickness, eleven weeks in… no morning sickness or even nausea… Don't hate me," she laughed. "I'm still not loving the heightened smelling, especially when the boys come back after a rescue or Cruz tries to cook, but it's a better payoff than actually throwing up constantly." Natalie nodded in agreement.

Opening her mouth to reply, Natalie stopped short when she noticed the nurses from Med tumbling through the door, loud laughter spilling out of both of the girls. Gabby followed her gaze, smiling at the pair as they made their way over to the end of the bar.

"Gabby!" Maggie greeted her, "What's this about girl?" she questioned waving the plastic drink bottle around. Gabby swiped at it, trying to get it back.

"You know what it's like after a crazy shift at work," Gabby tried to play it off, April catching her eye and nodding along. Poor Maggie was the only one left out of the secret. "Do you remember how many time I rolled into your ER last shift? I think I stopped counting after the first 15 times… in just 24 hours."

"So girl, you going to stay for a drink with us Gabs?" April asked. "Surely water counts as a drink," she finished as she slung her arm around the paramedic's shoulders. Looking back and forth, exchanging a glance with Natalie, Gabby slowly shook her head.

"Nah, I'm going to head out and spend some time with that hot lieutenant over there… See if I can get lucky," she joked, pointing in Matt's direction.

The girls laughed along with her. "Damn girl, I wouldn't be staying out if I have something like that to go home to either," Maggie confirmed. Gabby pushed her shoulder slightly in jest as the girls farewelled her.

Natalie pulled Gabby in for a hug, before softly speaking, "Thanks for the pep talk. And if there's anything with ducky, let me know. I'm happy to just be an ear," she mentioned before wandering off with the two nurses. Gabby, in turn, gave her shoulder a squeeze in reply as thanks.

Gabby pulled up a seat next to Matt, running a finger over his wedding band, "What do you say we get out of here? Sure no one would notice," she whispered into his ear. Matt pulled back to give her a slight 'huh' look, then looked quickly around, to find all of their friends involved in their own conversations. Raising his eyebrows at her, he tossed some money onto the table and pulled her close to him, placing his hand on the small of her back, placing some pressure on to guide her out of the noisy bar. Gabby didn't even bother telling Otis she was cutting out early, figuring that they wouldn't mind too much.

* * *

It was around lunchtime the day after a shift that morning sickness finally hit Gabby. 11 weeks into her pregnancy and she had experienced every other pregnancy symptom so far, from the constant fatigue to the rollercoaster of feelings. But like she had said to Natalie previously, she had escaped this one so far, she had even gloated about it to Matt the previous week too.

Spoken too soon it had seemed.

Matt was out on a construction job that morning. Whilst he had slowed down, and between their two jobs, even without him drawing his alderman's pay, they were fairly comfortable. It had been helped when she had moved back to the PIC position, bolstering her income somewhat. And as she had said to Matt, mere moments after he had slipped the wedding ring to its rightful place, 'what's yours is mine and what's mine is my own' with a massive smile on her face. Joking aside, they weren't necessarily wanting for money, but still, Matt enjoyed working with his hands. And they never knew what tomorrow might hold in their line of work, never going to work thinking it might be the last time that they were able to run into burning buildings, but it never hurt to have a back-up. So out he was, fixing someone's door.

Gabby had spent the morning tidying around the house and trying to balance the books for Molly's for the previous month. Her problem had been trying to find all of her own paperwork in their office. She could never figure out how it was that Matt was completely on top of his paperwork and organised at the firehouse, yet in their own home, in the study, she wasn't able to separate her work from the mess that was his. She was seriously contemplating turning the bedroom on the lower level into her office. Or maybe she could just kick him downstairs. In the end, she had huffed and shoved it all into a drawer, leaving it for him to sort out… May be she could gather it all up and leave it at the firehouse.

Not long after she had finished her light lunch, she had started to feel woozy. Knowing that she had made sure she had drunk plenty of water last night, she wondered what exactly it was that was making her feel this way, it didn't even occur to her that it was morning sickness.

By the time she made her way up to her bedroom she was decidedly nauseated. It was more horrible than the worst hangover she had ever felt, this was not boding well for her at all. There was this strange, uncomfortable feeling forming at the pit of her stomach, much worse than the first time she had turned up her nose at Matt's coffee weeks ago. She wasn't able to make it to her bed to lie down before she had to turn on her heel to rush towards the bathroom.

She barely had enough time to throw open the door to the restroom before emptying the contents of her stomach. Moments later, she was gagging at the thought of what was happening. And the process would start again. Gabby became unaware of time, she only knew the cycle was seeming to never let up.

In the meantime Matt had entered the house, finding the house strangely quiet. Generally, if he came home mid-afternoon he would find Gabby bouncing around in the kitchen, generally preparing dinner. Pregnancy was suiting Gabby, she had a glow about her and during the day plenty of energy. Matt had never seen the house so clean than in the last few weeks. But today, she wasn't around.

Starting up the stairs, a sound caught his ears, causing him to pause and strain to hear whatever it was. Retching, he was sure that's what it was he was hearing. 'Gabby,' he thought, starting to rush up the remaining stairs. The bathroom door was closed, Matt closed his hand around the handle hoping that she hadn't locked it. It wouldn't have surprised him if it was, Gabby never liked to show any weakness to anyone, even him. It was the number one issue that they knew they shared and over the recent course of their relationship, something they had begun to work on. Fortunately for him, the door swung open under his hand.

"Gabs?" he called out. Looking towards the small enclosed restroom he found Gabby still emptying her stomach. Only by now Gabby found she had completely emptied her stomach of food and all that was left was bile, even still she found the ability to push Matt back, not allowing him to come too close. Carefully he manoeuvred himself behind her, placing a comforting hand on her forehead, holding her head up slightly.

Gabby groaned as she finally managed to stop vomiting, easing herself back onto her heels. Matt darted out to find a small washcloth to wash off her face and neck. Before he managed to get back to her, she had dragged herself out into the main section of the bathroom and laid her head on the cooling tiles of the bathtub, finding that their cooling effect was easing the pounding headache she had developed.

"Make a fist, pound on the door! It's called knocking Matthew," Gabby complained as she lifted her head off the bathtub. Matt shot her a sympathetic look as he knelt down, brushing the stray hairs off her sweaty brow.

"Morning sickness," she exclaimed in disgust, "Whoever decided to call it that, must have been a male. It's not the most accurate term for it," she pondered as Matt helped her off the bathroom floor and into their bedroom after she was able to freshen up.

"I did read that women who experience morning sickness are less likely to have a miscarriage than those who don't," Matt commented as he looked around for a blanket, missing the weirded out look that Gabby shot in his direction. Since when did Matt know so much about the pregnancy, especially as this was the first time, well sort-of, Gabby told herself. She didn't have time to open her mouth before Matt had disappeared out.

Gabby gulped in a deep breath as she tried to calm the nausea she was still feeling. Rubbing a gentle hand over her small pudge, she looked down giving it a stern look, "Now you stop that Smudge," she gentled reprimanded. Breathing in deeply a few more times, Gabby pushed herself off of the couch in search of some looser clothing. She delved into Matt's closet, looking for the biggest t-shirt she could find.

Running her hands through the old firefighting shirts, her fingers brushed against Matt's old candidate shirt. It was old and well broken in, exactly what she wanted right now. Her own clothes just felt a slight snug, only a bit constricting. Whilst in reality her clothes still fit her perfectly, she wanted something else. Discarding her own clothes, she pulled his shirt over her own head, taking in the scent that she would forever associate with Matt, even though he hadn't worn it in many many years. Padding into her own side, she pulled on a pair of comfy yoga pants, rolling down the waistband slightly.

By the time Matt arrived back, Gabby had made herself comfortable in bed, pillows surrounding her, sitting upright in the middle of the bed. "What have you got there Matt?" she asked curiously, craning her neck slightly.

"Dry crackers and some weak tea," he answered passing the items over, before placing an extra bottle of water on her bedside table, taking a seat next to her.

"How is it that you know all of this Matt Casey?" she prodded. Matt looked sheepish, before leaning over her gently, trying with all of his might not to place any pressure on her body. Stretching just a few more inches, he managed to pull a book out of the drawer. Gabby had to hold back a gale of laughter when she saw that Matt was holding up a book entitled Dad's Pregnant Too! Matt glared at her slightly as a mirth of laughter escaped from her lips. "Don't laugh Gabriela, it helped you."

Gabby took the book from him, flicking through the contents, giggling ever so often as parts of the text caught her eye. She lightly whacked his shoulder with said book, "Only you Matt… Only you would take the time to read about what is going on with us… thank you Babe," she acknowledged, pressing a kiss onto his cheek. Matt leant in closer, tangling his fingers through her hair and moving to find her lips and deepening the kiss.

Matt lay down, resting his head on her outstretched legs, his warm hand pressed against her tummy. A moment or two later, he pushed the shirt up and began to pepper her skin with tiny kisses. "Hold on," his head popping up, pulling himself into a seated position. "This is mine," he accused, his fingers tugging on the hem of the shirt she wore. "I haven't seen this in years," he mused, thinking back to his time as a candidate, in what seemed like a lifetime ago. There were so many things in life that had changed.

"It was in the back of the closet. I wanted something relaxed and this fit the bill perfectly," she retorted, pushing his hands away from where he was trying to remove the shirt from her body.

"And I think it looks better on you," he growled lowly, attacking her neck, pulling her further down the bed.

 _~ His body is straightening out and the torso is lengthening. Hair follicles are forming, and fingernail and toenail beds are beginning to develop ~_


	10. Week 12 - Glimpses

**Don't we all love when the review function doesn't work properly on this site? Thanks to everyone who reviewed - they really do make my day, especially when I wake up to a heap of them on Saturday morning. I think they have all managed to appear on the site now.**

 **As always thanks to R for editing for me. And this week to both her and Junko for keeping me entertained during my writing process - I'm sure I'll never look at a Ju Ju Be Paci Pod the same ever again. It will become a story one day - I promise!**

 **Hope you all enjoy the latest installment - we're nearly there to telling the fire family... Hopefully! ~Em**

* * *

 _Week 12_

 _~ Candidate is almost three inches long now, about the size of a passion fruit ~_

"Matt!" hollered Gabby standing at the doorway, handbag over her shoulder and keys dangling from her fingers. They were cutting it fine for their first official antenatal appointment. "Matthew James Casey... I swear I will leave without you. Don't think I won't… And you will miss out on seeing Smudge for the first time," she threatened as she pulled on her shoes and reached for the door handle.

Her hand had already grasped around the handle as Matt came running up from the basement where he had been holed up for most of the morning. Gabby hadn't bothered going down to find him. Matt was normally good at keeping an eye on the time, almost like he had an internal clock. 15 minutes ago he had appeared to make sure that he had the time right for her appointment today, but had soon disappeared again.

"You would never leave me here. I want to see Smudge again," he demanded as he thrust a water bottle into Gabby's empty hand. Gabby smirked at him as she threw the offered drink bottle into her bag before heading out of the door.

"Well, are you coming or not?" she teased over her shoulder.

* * *

Matt sat in the hospital's most uncomfortable chairs, it was like they decided to have the uncomfortable chairs as a punishment for some unknown reason. It didn't make sense, of all the places to have uncomfortable chairs, this didn't like the right place. Honestly, the academy lecture hall had more comfortable chairs than here. Matt tried in vain to stay still, having been poked in the leg by Gabby for squirming in his spot only moments before. Gabby was still filling out paperwork as Matt scanned the room. There weren't too many other couples waiting, although all the women waiting were visibly much further along in their pregnancies than Gabby. It was crazy to think that in a few short months she would be like those women.

Doctor Peterson walked by, offering them a smile and a wave. Matt looked over at Gabby who had finally placed the pen down. "Aren't we supposed to be seeing her today?" he questioned.

Gabby nodded, "We're probably seeing the ultrasound technician first… I assume that our appointment will finish up with her," Gabby informed him. Matt nodded slightly before closing his eyes, his hand finding hers and tangling their fingers together resting their entwined hands in her lap. He hadn't been sleeping well during work at the firehouse over the few last shifts. He laughed slightly inwardly at the thought that he would be able to sleep at work at all, in what other profession would able to say that and not get fired for it?

"Gabriela Casey?" a nurse called out. Matt didn't move at the sound of her name. It took Gabby tugging slightly at his hand, "Smudge sighting?" she enticed him. A grin spread over his face whilst his hand came to rest on the small of her back.

Upon entering the small appointment room, Karen their ultrasound tech introduced herself, gesturing to the table.

"So, 12 week appointment?" Karen cheerily asked. Matt had to hide a smile as Gabby made herself comfortable on the table, this woman was over the top happy. And whilst he didn't usually mind cheeriness, she seemed overly fake. But Matt was determined to suck it up and not say anything. "Right, I'm going to do the ultrasound imaging for you today and then you'll be able to go in and see Doctor… Umm…." she fumbled around trying to work out who their doctor was.

"Peterson," supplied Gabby as she played with the hem of her blouse. Wasn't that type of information on her chart, the one that Karen had in her hand? There were doubts starting to run through her mind right about now. There was something not quite right sitting with her, call it a gut feeling.

"Yes Doctor Peterson, she and one of the nurse will then have some further tests for you to go through. Do you have any questions for me?"

"Can we see Smudge now?" Matt asked excitedly. He was like a little boy in a candy store after being told he could have anything he wanted.

Gabby shook her head slightly; she couldn't quite believe how excited he was. She herself, was still trying to get used to the idea that in a few fleeting months she would be a mother. Matt had wanted nothing more than to become a father, a thought that hadn't been far from her mind since she had told him that he was going to be a great father… such a long time ago, that fateful day in the park with the Darden boys. She still didn't quite feel pregnant, yes there were the symptoms… But it still it didn't seem quite real. Yet, here was Matt taking everything in his stride.

"Smudge?" came the tech's confused voice.

"Smudge," confirmed Gabby, sharing a loving smile with Matt. "It was either that or Candidate…"

"Candidate?!" Karen's voice was even more confused now. She looked hard that the couple in front of herself, they evidently had some unusual names for their unborn child. She had never heard those terms before, who would call their child 'candidate'? Didn't people generally call their child 'peanut' or some endearing term like that?

"When Doctor Peterson first confirmed the pregnancy, Matt over here thought that the baby looked like a smudge. And ever since then its been nicknamed Smudge… Even though Candidate would have been a much better name," she mockingly glared at Matt who held up his hands in mock surrender, laughter in his eyes. Breaking the eye gaze that he held with her a few moments later, he noticed that Karen was still silent.

Looking over he found Karen to have a cross between a confused and almost disapproving look on her face. It was obvious that she was unaware what it was that the Caseys did for a living. "We work for the Chicago Fire Department," Matt filled her in, "And we've both been Candidates, it's what trainee firefighters are called…" he finished.

Gabby knew the look that Karen suddenly proceeded to give Matt, there was a definite change in the air. It was one that she had seen many many times before. She had termed it the 'firefighters groupies' look. Right in front of her, she watched as her ultrasound technician began undressing her husband with her eyes, imagining what was underneath all of the clothing. Whilst Gabby wasn't usually the jealous type, it had happened on the job before. Matt would usually politely brush those type of women off and flash his wedding ring… but today, they were sitting in a cold sterile exam room, waiting to see their baby and here was a woman openly checking him out. Gabby stared at her intently, daggers shooting from her eyes as Matt shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Ah-hem…" Gabby cleared her throat. Karen didn't even have the decency to look embarrassed as she was caught, rather she turned to Gabby, a snooty look on her face, "A firefighter?" she questioned. Gabby nodded and she felt Karen look her up and down. "That is not a safe occupation for a pregnant woman, you should think of the damage you could cause the baby…" she warned, shaking her finger in Gabby's face.

Gabby took a deep breath, trying to push down her anger. 'This woman knows nothing about you, Gabby,' she reminded herself silently. Rather, she plastered a smile on her face, before replying, "Yes, I am aware of those risks and CFD does have a policy in place for pregnant firefighters. However, luckily for me, I had already been working as an EMT for the past few months." Yet, in the back of her mind she filed it away that she would be having a conversation with Doctor Peterson about this woman and requesting to see a different tech for her next appointment. Was this really happening to her? Was her husband being hit on during their appointment? "So…" she continued on, "Could we please move this along?"

Karen gave her a tight lipped smile before launching into her obviously well rehearsed spiel, it sounded like she had swallowed a textbook, "Today when we complete your 12 week appointment we can begin the first part of the genetic screening tests that can be done…"

"Yes," started Gabby, "Matt and I have both discussed what we do want and don't want in terms of genetic screen. We didn't want to have to make a decision here, so we ultimately decided that we're just going the NT scan and then a full blood workup"

"Are you sure about that?" Karen asked condescendingly, "There are many tests that we can be doing today, and considering the high risk of your job Mrs Casey…"

"No, we're sure that that is all we were planning on," interjected Matt, not liking how this appointment was turning out.

Karen nodded and gave him a flirtatious smile, "Ok, _Matt_ … So the NT scan is a non-invasive ultrasound, which helps assess the baby's risk of having complications such as Down Syndrome, other chromosomal abnormalities, and major congenital heart problems. We perform this test by measuring the clear, well translucent space in the tissue at the back of the baby's neck," Karen informed them, more towards Matt than Gabby. As she spoke she roughly yanked at Gabby's shirt, pressing the ultrasound wand deeply into her belly.

Gabby grimaced slightly at the pressure as she looked up at the monitor to see the image of their child coming up. "So baby looks pretty perfect in that department… Well of course the baby does, look at the genes it has," she commented looking over at Matt again.

This caused Gabby to frown, "And the heartbeat?"

"150 beats a minute," Karen grumbled as she turned the screen back towards herself. Gabby turned to face Matt, a confused look upon her face, what had just happened here? Did they only get a fleeting glance of their child?

"I also want to double check your baby's length," Karen kept speaking as she faced the screen. "I just want to confirm baby's age."

Matt cleared his throat with a slightly confused voice commented, "But we were given a due date by Doctor Peterson a few weeks ago at our first appointment."

Karen turned to look at them both, a slight look of disbelief across her face. "Well, I don't know what she might have told you... But..."

"I've been seeing her for a long time," interrupted Gabby. "And my cycle is fairly regular, right down to every 27 days, bleed for 5… Every time."

Karen nodded, placing the doppler down wanting to ensure that they had all the correct information, her information. "At the dating scan, the baby is measured and we can confirm your due date. But before that, your due date is calculated by counting 280 days from the first day of your last period. However, the scanning date is generally considered to be more accurate."

Gabby turned to face Matt, watching as he opened his mouth, obviously intent on correcting their tech that Doctor Peterson had done a scan and he was fairly confident that she was correct. Gabby gave him a hard stare making him sit up and close his mouth. Karen smiled and turned back to the screen, clicking the round ball in the middle of the console, capturing pictures as she went.

"Up until 12 weeks of pregnancy, all babies grow at the same rate, so irrespective of whether you as their parents are tall or short, at this time baby will be the same size as other at this stage of development. So I'm measuring crown to rump… Based on these measurements, I would quite confidently say you're 11 weeks and 5 days," she finished, wiping the gel off of Gabby's stomach, packing up the machine.

Matt stared at her, was that it. He couldn't quite believe how fast it had all gone. It was like that they had an only had a split second glimpse of their child. "Is that it?" he questioned.

Karen nodded curtly, "That's it for now. I'll see you both at your 16 week check up. The nurse will be in to see you for some further testing soon," she spoke as she left the room. Passing the incoming nurse, she lowered her voice, "Hot firefighter!" she breathed, just loud enough for Gabby to hear. April's eyes widened as she entered the room, shocked at what had been mentioned to her. How unprofessional could this tech be?

"Gabby?" April spoke up as she fully entered the room, taking in the pair, Gabby still laid out on the bed, top not yet entirely pulled down yet.

"April… What are you doing here?" she questioned, surprised to see the ER nurse standing in the exam room.

"Extra shifts mean extra money, and I could do with the extra cash… Let's get you down from that table…" she advised. "Did anyone explain to you what was going to happen today?" April watched carefully as both Matt and Gabby shook their heads. Gently April laid her hand over Gabby's arm, giving it a tight squeeze, after the comment that the tech had made on her way out, April could see that Gabby was shaken up somewhat. "Hey, Matt… Why don't we organise to see Doctor Peterson first and then we can do these tests later. I can even come into Doctor Peterson's office and do it all in there if you'd like."

Matt nodded as he helped Gabby off the table, "I think that might be for the best," he confirmed.

* * *

Doctor Peterson walked into her office to find an extremely shell shocked pair of adults waiting for her. "I know that seeing your child for the first time is a shock, but I think you two might win the prize for the most extreme reaction," she joked as she took her seat behind the desk. Matt was only able to open his mouth, not able to actually form words, just letting his jaw become slack.

Gabby looked her doctor straight in the eyes, thinking very carefully about what it was she wanted to say. "Doctor Peterson… Clara," her voice low. The smile disappeared from the doctor's face as she straighten her back, wondering what is was that was causing this reaction from Gabby. "I know that we can't choose everyone that we run into in our lives… But if I ever have to see that technician again, I swear to god I will slap that smile off of her face," Gabby almost growled. Clara screwed her face in contemplation, she had known the young mother who sat in front of her with a determined look on her face, for a long time now. And she knew that this was more than just pregnancy hormone speaking, something had evidently gone wrong during their appointment, badly wrong.

"Who? What happened?" were the only words that came out of her mouth.

"Matt will tell you that I'm not the type to be that jealous. Being married to a firefighter, being part of the company myself… I know how women can react to firefighters. However, I am not at all comfortable when the person who is about to perform our ultrasound starts to undress _my_ husband with her eyes, before informing me that firefighting was not an appropriate job for a woman, let alone a pregnant woman. She basically told me that I was an unfit mother and was putting my unborn baby at risk," Gabby emphatically told her. Matt nodded along at her side.

"Karen?" questioned Doctor Peterson. Scribbling a note at the confirmation from Gabby and Matt. "It would be unprofessional of me to make any comment about my colleagues, however, please accept an apology on behalf of the Chicago Medical Centre for the way you were treated. I will make sure that you will be seeing a different technician for the rest of your pregnancy Gabby," she assured the Caseys. "On a more pleasant note, you were able to see your baby. That..." she stopped suddenly at the shaking of Matt's head. She pursed her lips, raising a questioning eyebrow.

"We got the briefest glimpse of Smudge," confirmed Matt, "before she swung the screen around and we didn't see anything," he lamented.

Clara shook her head as she passed Gabby a bottle of water that sat behind her desk, "Here, drink this Gabby. I'll go find a machine. You finish that and try and get yourself as comfortable as you can on the table. Matt, you'll get to see your baby," she enforced as she strode purposefully out of the room.

Gabby gave a slight chuckle as she unscrewed the bottle top. "Didn't I just have to drink an ocean of water for the last scan?" she joked, making her way over to the table. Matt laughed as she wiggled on the spot, "You would think over the many years that they have been making these beds, they might have tried making them more comfortable," she commented as she inched the hem of her long shirt upwards.

Matt's eyes darkened as her top moved to expose part of her stomach, his hand coming to rest of the skin caressing it gently. Smiling slightly, he brought his hand down towards her face, brushing his lips against hers. Gabby's eyes widen slightly, "Mattt," she warned, knowing that it wouldn't be long before their doctor would enter the room again. Matt ignored her, his right fingers trailing down her cheek towards her jaw, her mouth opening to protest again.

Matt shook his head slightly, effectively stopping her. Rather he crashed his lips onto hers, allowing his lower hand to push the material of her top further up and pressing the palm of his hand along her belly, moving his thumb to caress the skin underneath it. His other hand moved to tangle itself into her curls as her own hand went the nape of his neck, tugging gently on the roots of his blonde hair. Suddenly Gabby was running her tongue over his bottom lip, demanding more, Matt consented, his kisses becoming deeper as Gabby tried to pull him closer.

A laugh and clearing of the same throat brought them out their self-absorption with each other. Matt went bright red as he fumbled around himself looking for a stool to sit down on. Gabby locked eyes with Clara and bit back a laugh. She knew that they were going get caught in a compromising situation, but right now she didn't care, she had needed that kiss after the first part of their appointment. She made the move to lower her shirt as Doctor Peterson reached them, putting her hand out to stop Gabby.

"I'm going to need that up anyway," she told them as she readied herself with the machine. Pulling at Gabby's yoga pants, she tucked a towel in, to protect them from the gel. "Warning… Cold," she advised as the gel caused Gabby to shiver slightly.

Clara watched for a moment or two at the screen, moving the ultrasound probe, trying to find the spot she was looking for. Once the image had spluttered onto the screen, she turned to look at the expectant parents. Gabby and Matt both had their eyes glued to the monitor, drinking in the sight of their child. Matt sniffed slightly, bring the hand that he had clasped earlier up to his lips, kissing it soundlessly.

Weeks ago, when Doctor Peterson had done the first ultrasound their little Smudge was nothing more than just that… just a smudge. Now 12 weeks in, their little Candidate actually looked like a baby. Matt felt a tear well in his eyes, it was suddenly real, his heart swelling with love for his wife and unborn child. All of this time waiting, and now finally seeing the image of his baby, it hit him. He was going to be a father; he had wanted this for years. For a few years, he and Gabby had wanted this… And now it was really going to be a dream come true. Here, right in front of him, this ultrasound was letting him see his little Smudge moving around, with legs kicking and arms flailing. It was all happening inside of Gabby, even if she couldn't feel those movements, and suddenly Matt couldn't wait to feel those movements for himself.

"This is really happening, isn't it?" he whispered, almost to himself. The young doctor watched as he pressed a kiss to her forehead, never once his eyes leaving the screen. Gabby herself, reached out her hand towards the screen, biting her bottom lip. Her hand was nearly at the screen when she paused looking at her doctor for permission. Beaming from ear to ear, Gabby traced the outline of her baby's face, tears running down her face.

Turning to face her husband, "It's really happening Babe…" she confirmed, squeezing his hand.

"Looks like Smudge is having his/her own little dance party in there too," Doctor Peterson announced, pointing at the screen. And they could all see it, Baby Casey was extremely active. Matt and Gabby watched captivated, watching as their little Smudge wriggle around and used their little legs to push off the side of Gabby's uterus… Generally, Smudge was just all over the place.

Moving the probe again, "It looks like we have our work cut out for us!" she continued, "especially if this keeps up for your entire pregnancy Gabby. He or she looks like a handful," she teased.

Gabby grinned, "Must take after their father!"

Matt looked at the two women with a look of mock indignation, "I feel like I should be insulted, but there is nothing you can say that is going to bring me down from this high… Doctor Peterson, Karen said something about a dating scan and a due date?"

Doctor Peterson nodded in confirmation, "Normally at the 12 week scan, you would have that dating scan, for most couples that is their first scan. However, we did that dating scan earlier, which is quite normal considering Gabby's past history… Now if I can get Baby Casey to calm down a bit I can get the scans and measurements I want… But I'm getting quite a few funnier pictures along the way, I'll stick them on the drive for you," she informed them, putting Matt's mind at ease. "Well I must say Gabby, this baby definitely has the Dawson genes, she won't calm down," she teased.

"She?" Gabby questioned quietly, a little spark of hope igniting in her, not that she would ever say that to Matt. To the world, when they asked, she was hoping for a healthy baby and nothing more.

"No, no, no," Clara corrected herself, "It's much too early to tell that yet, I tend to jump for pronoun to pronoun…" she finished whilst she fiddled with a button. Seconds later, a series of images were being printed out. "Here," she handed over a few to Matt, "First photos for the album… On that note, I am going to confirm that you are 11 weeks and 6 days, which puts your due date at April 15th, which is pretty much what you were told a few weeks ago. Although, only around five percent of babies actually arrive on their expected due date," she cautioned.

"Easter baby," Gabby smiled. "It will be a double blessing for the family," she commented, "Mama and Papá will be excited for that." She ignored the date that she had been given by Karen earlier, she trusted Clara implicated.

"And for that heartbeat we couldn't hear at 7 weeks," Clara advised, flicking a switch to turn on the speakers. A loud, fast thud thud filled the room, immediately causing tears to well in both parents' eyes.

"It's so fast," commented Gabby, bring up her thumb to wipe away the tears that had been forming throughout the appointment. "So much faster than any I hear normally…"

"160 beats per minute, that's quite normal. Baby's heart is supposed to be beating rapidly. It's going to be around twice as fast as your own heart rate. And that," she pointed out, "that there, is baby's heartbeat," she smiled.

Gabby smiled wider than she thought possible as the screen flicked from 3D to 4D. "Oh my," she breathed, she couldn't believe what she was seeing, it was absolutely surreal. "And Casey genes too," she laughed. Smudge looked like he was striking a pose with one arm over his head, and the other thumb in his mouth, causing her heart to skip a beat. "That dance pose looks very familiar," she teased Matt.

Matt threw a glance in her general direction, "That is just plain weird," he announced, "Amazing, but weird," he shook his head.

"Yes, that's the general consensus among many of the expectant fathers," Doctor Peterson contributed as she powered the machine down and wiped the gel away. "We just have a few more tests that I need to run Gabby… I'm going to get April Sexton in to draw some blood.

"Blood test?" questioned Matt, his protective nature taking over.

She nodded her head slowly, "It's all routine Matt… I need for Gabby to have a full blood count; we need to keep an eye on how it's all travelling. Plus, it will be tested to screen for several conditions and to check Gabby's blood group." Taking in Matt's confused look, she pushed on, "Most importantly we need to check whether you're rhesus positive or negative. If you happen to be negative and baby is positive, your body may produce antibodies against your baby's blood. It's not fatal, we would just have to administer certain medications… But let's not cross that bridge if or when we get to it, she advised. Pausing to think for a minute, she reached behind herself for the blood pressure cuff. "With that in mind, I just want to take a baseline blood pressure measurement too… Your blood pressure should be a slight bit lower during the first part of your pregnancy," she told them, as the machine began it's reading. Frowning again, "It's a little higher than I would like Gabby, but I'm thinking today's earlier appointment may have had an effect on it. Nevertheless, it will be something I want to keep an eye on."

Gabby reached blindly out for Matt's hand, squeezing it as a source of comfort. Matt's concerned eyes travelled over her body, bring his other hand up to the crown of her head and pressing a kiss to her temple.

"Gabby, I know it's hard, but I don't want you to stress. It's only going to push that blood pressure higher. Other than that, I would like to check how you're travelling, check your weight and the like. All up I would say you're going to gain anywhere between 25 to 25 pounds over the entire 40 weeks. Breaking that down, I would hope to see you experiencing a steady weight gain of around 1.5 - 2 pounds a week. But I'll be back soon for all of that."

Matt helped Gabby into an upright sitting position, "I can't believe this is really happening," he confessed, his fingers running over one of the images he held. "I know we saw Smudge a few weeks ago, but I can't believe how fast he is growing."

"He?" questioned Gabby an eyebrow raised as she swung her legs over the edge of the bed.

"He," confirmed Matt, "I just know… And now I've got confirmation he actually exists, actual physical evidence… It's amazing Babe," he told her, brushing his lips over her clothed belly. Gabby closed her eyes and let the happiness wash over her. "Yes, baby. Mommy and Daddy can't wait to see more of you," Matt whispered against her belly, his heart filled with joy and love.

 _~ Fingernails, toenails, and bones are forming, and a fine layer of hair covers most of her body ~_


	11. Week 13 - Boot Photos

**Woah, we're already at Week 13! Thank you for all the love you have shown for this story.**

 **Also thanks to R & Junko who convinced me not to go with the very short version of this chapter when I was having a grouch about being a teacher earlier in the week! Thanks again ladies for listening to me, I owe you both big time. **

**I can't believe that we've got less than 5 days until the season premiere of Fire, I cannot wait! So looking forward to it all, with another big thanks to** **R for sending me the latest promo when I couldn't see it here. Hold on to your seats, I think it's going to be a big season :)**

* * *

 _~ Week 13 ~_

 _~ Candidate is the size of a Meyer lemon this week ~_

Gabby trailed into the house after Matt, watching as he dropped both of their work bags in the nook where they were usually stored. She stifled a yawn as they walked towards the kitchen.

"I am exhausted," she announced. "I didn't know I could possibly ever be this tired," she complained.

"Well you are growing a baby, Baby," he gently teased her, never sure what mood she might be in. She shot him a withering look as she stretched her muscles gently. Well, that retort had been better than Matt had hoped for.

"Okay?" Matt queried as he noticed her dig a thumb into the area just above her hip bone.

"Only ligament pains. It's just uncomfortable," she grimaced slightly, as his hands joined hers pushing in her thumb slightly deeper causing Gabby to moan softly. She shifted herself towards the edge of the kitchen counter, leaning her foreheads onto the cool material.

"That's it? We don't need to go down to Med or call Doctor Peterson?" Matt asked.

"Mattt… I'm fine. Remember I had the conversation with Doctor Peterson the other day when I rang to check about everything that happened with our appointment last week. These are only growing pains, all the muscles and ligaments are stretching to accommodate the baby. Do you not listen? Natalie told you the same thing that first time we went to Med. This is _normal_ Matt," she emphasised.

Matt looked her up and down a few times, almost as if he was trying to scan her to make sure she was telling him the truth.

"Sure?" he confirmed one more time.

Gabby nodded her head as she sat down at the kitchen bench, dropping her head into her hands. "I'll get breakfast in a few minutes," she told him. "Just waiting for the nausea to settle."

A small concerned look formed on Matt's face as he reached into the pantry, intent on finding some food. Sliding the box along the counter allowing her to nibble on some crackers, he rested his hands on her shoulders and peppered the crown of her head with kisses. "Don't worry about breakfast, I can get myself something. Besides I think you might just fall asleep in your cereal anyways," he quipped.

She gave him a sleepy smile as she looked up at him, sometimes she wondered what she had done to deserve his love and support.

"Come on Babe. Let's get you to bed," he ordered as he swept her up into his arms bridal style and started for the stairs. "Hush," he stopped her as she started to protest.

Laughing slightly, she placed her head against his chest being lulled further into a state of sleep by the steady beating of his heart. Matt smiled down at her as he gently placed her on the edge of the bed and began to take off her shoes.

"Case!" she protested quietly. Matt smiled, she must have been nodding off, it wasn't that often that she would call him 'Case' these days, he kind of missed it, it was quite the term of endearment.

"Shh…" he gently told her as he passed over one of his shirts and hoodies for her to sleep in before helping her into bed.

"But breakfast," she protested almost half asleep.

"It's okay Gabby. I can fix myself something to eat, I won't burn the house down. Besides, I know the number for the fire department."

"Come nap with me," she pleaded with him, tugging on his sleeves. Matt chuckled slightly as he gently removed himself from her grasp. Stripping down, he slipped under the covers, pulling Gabby over to his side of the bed finding that she fell asleep within moments.

* * *

A few hours later Gabby stretched as she slowly found consciousness, moving her arms out across the bed looking for Matt. When it became apparent she was in bed herself, she brought her hand back to rest on her tummy as she cracked an eyelid open to look at the clock to find that it was past noon. It was very rare for her to sleep that long after a shift, especially since she had managed to get quite a few hours last night too. Easing herself up slowly Gabby was pleased to find that she wasn't dizzy or nauseous. Bless that 12 week mark, hopefully, it would last and this would be the new normal. However, the new normal also seemed to include sleeping half of the day away too.

Downstairs she found Matt sitting out on the deck looking intently at something.

"What do you have there Babe?" she asked approaching him.

Matt stopped, turned and reached up to kiss her. "Afternoon sleeping beauty," he whispered whilst leaning his forehead against her. "Package came from the photographers," he told her, pulling her into his lap.

Gabby's face lit up, stretching over to take a sip of Matt's cold drink before reaching for the package. Antonio had given them a gift voucher for some professional photos last Christmas with the hope that they could all get some new photos of the complete Dawson family. Once he had found out about his pending niece/nephew he had organised for them to get some photos now, some later in the pregnancy and then some newborn photos too, to say he was excited was an understatement. Adriana had decided that they might get some photos done for their house with the grandchildren too, Eva was especially excited about this! Gabby had loved the idea, there were so many blank walls around this house, all ready to be filled with photos. So Matt and Gabby had gone out to meet the photographer a week or so ago, who had obviously rushed the photos to them. She had rung Gabby the day after the shoot to rave about how well they had turned out and promised to get them to the Caseys as soon as possible.

"Canvas?" Gabby questioned.

"Downstairs in the family room... on the carpet," confirmed Matt.

Gabby gathered up all the photos and the book that had come, intent on going downstairs. "Coming?" she threw over her shoulder.

Shaking his head slightly he called after her, "I wasn't finished looking at them," he grumbled as he chased her down the stairs. Gabby came to a screeching halt as she saw a canvas leant up against the coffee table, her hand coming up to cover her mouth holding a sob in.

"Hey, hey," Matt comforted, taking the photos from her and helping her to sit down. "What's the matter?"

"That photo is perfect Matt," she told him, her eyes never leaving the photo. "I want it for the nursery…"

When she had first spoken to Janine, their photographer, she had been asked about herself and Matt; who they were as a couple and what they did for a living. Janine had been excited to find out that they both worked for the CFD and requested that they bring their work gear as well as some informal clothes. The photo that had been blown up for the canvas featured both Matt and Gabby in their bunker pants; Gabby in her paramedic shirt, PIC bars on display with the suspenders hanging by her legs, him with his lieutenant shirt on, suspenders hooked over his shoulders. Matt was stood behind her arms wrapped her in his hands holding a pair of baby bunker boots in front of her tummy, both with wide grins adorning their faces. "You know that Mama will try and steal this when she sees it!" Gabby joked.

Gabby didn't waste any time plonking herself down onto the couch, pulling the book into her lap. Matt joined her, allowing her to start flicking through the book of proofs Janine had sent along with quite a few samples featuring them in their fire gear. Included was a note telling them it had been a lovely afternoon meeting them and taking photos and informing them that there were more photos to come but enjoy these photos to start with.

"It's really happening, isn't it?" she whispered.

"Hmm?" Matt questioned as he held her closer still.

"This baby… It's really happening…." her voice started to crack. If Matt was honest, he had somewhat been expecting this, if it was what he thought it was. Wisely he thought about it and decided to keep quiet. This conversation would play out better if he just let her take her time and open up by herself. Silently he began to rub her arms, letting her know that it was okay, whatever it was.

After a few moments silence, Gabby opened her mouth, her voice still shaky, "After we had the miscarriage - I was scared, I was worried that this would never happen for us. And I would be lying if I said I have abandoned those fears entirely. I feel like the miscarriage is a shadow that will probably hang over my entire pregnancy…" she took a shaky breath before continuing, "...but I'm starting to feel a little better each day. I feel like I've been maintaining my distance as best I can but after that ultrasound last week and seeing those little feet kicking, I can no longer hold back. It's my baby in there and I'm filled with hopes and dreams and fears. Matt… It's going to be okay, isn't it?" she questioned as Matt began to run his fingers lightly up and down her arm.

"Gabby... Baby... it is going to be okay. Smudge is going to be here before we can blink - remember what I've told you, I've got us. I'll hold us together until you're here with me, there's more than enough love to cover us both. It's okay to be scared. It doesn't make you any less of a parent. I know how much you already love Smudge."

Gabby laughed slightly as she leant her head down on his shoulder. "Our journey is just beginning and it's going to get weird and wonderful. After all this heartache and healing we are on the road to having a baby and it's meant to be a joyful time… And it's going to be. It's time to start telling our other family…"

Gabby sniffed slightly as she picked up another pile of photos, giving Matt a small smile. Matt grinned widely, placing a kiss on her temple and picking up a small photo from the pile, smiling as he thought that maybe he could send this one to Christie. He knew for sure that Violet would be excited to have a baby cousin, it had been much too long since he had seen them. Whilst they saw a fair amount of the Dawson family, the Casey family get togethers were somewhat few and far between.

"Matt?" Gabby started looking up from the photos that she was looking through. "I think I know how we can tell the house," a smirk on her face. Matt raised an eyebrow, pondering what his wife possibly had in mind. Gabby had been so adamant that they weren't going to tell the rest of the house until she had passed her 12 week mark, but Matt hadn't heard any ideas from her about how that was actually going to occur.

"We can place a heap of these photos around the house before next shift, letting everyone find them," she told him excitedly, pushing some of the photos around on the coffee table in front of them, looking for the perfect photo to go onto the fridge.

Chuckling Matt pulled her in for a kiss, running his hands up and down her back before tangling them in her hair. Gabby moaned slightly as she melted deeper into the kiss.

"Take that means you think that it's a good idea," she breathed as she pulled back. His answer was another kiss.

* * *

Two days later Matt and Gabby found themselves at the house much earlier than they normally would have arrived. Gabby had their photos in a case, grasped tightly to her chest waiting for Matt to rap on Boden's closed office door. She was thanking her lucky stars that Connie hadn't started for the day yet. The last thing she needed was Connie to find out what was happening before they had a chance to announce it themselves… Again!

Looking up to find both Caseys in front of himself, Boden wondered what this was about today. Judging by the smile on Dawson's face, it evidently wasn't a bad thing. "What is it now?" he questioned, "More than one kid?"

Dawson's eyes widened in horror. "Chief! Don't even joke about that," she admonished.

Boden shrugged slightly at Casey, giving Dawson a questioning look, waiting for them to continue. Casey gave Dawson a sideways look, knowing that she was in the driver's seat.

"So Chief..." Dawson took a deep breath before finding Casey's hand, squeezing it in the hopes of finding strength. She couldn't quite figure out what was causing her nervousness, Boden had been happy for both of them. "Chief," she started again, "We wanted permission to put some photos around the house."

Boden raised an eyebrow, pushing himself back further into his seat. "Photos?" he repeated, clearly not completely understanding what it was that they wanted to do. There were photos all over the house. He himself had photos in his office and knew that Casey had a wedding photo in his quarters. They even had a wall devoted to photos of the Firehouse 51 family. Boden stared back at Dawson, a thoughtful hand placed over his chin.

"What Dawson is asking Chief, is that we have some new photos and she wants to let everyone in on our little secret," Casey filled their confused boss in.

"Do I get to see them before I agree to this scheme of yours Dawson?" he questioned. Casey smiled before pulling the photos from Dawson's firm grip and passing them over to Boden.

A wide smile grew over the older man's face as he flicked through the numerous photos of the couple.

"I believe that these photos will be a welcome addition to the family. It is will be a wonderful way to let them in on your news," he complimented. Pausing at one particular photo, he glanced up at the expectant couple. "Donna would love to see this photo," he commented.

Dawson smiled, a nervous laugh leaving her body. "I'll be sure to show it to her next time I see her Chief," Dawson promised. "I want that one in Casey's office," she finished, picking up the photo in question. It was one of the few photos of the two of them without their fire gear on that she had even brought in.

Boden smiled in return, wishing them well as they exited his office.

"Conference room?" Casey questioned.

Dawson nodded, before taking a beat. "Actually," she started with a shake of her head. "I'm taking this and putting it where it belongs," she informed him with a dazzling smile, it was going to be a good day! She selected the photo that she had promised to show Donna, and handed the rest off to Casey. He reached out to stop her, trying to peer at the photo she had removed.

A smile radiated across his face as he took in the photo that he knew was likely going to end up sitting on his office desk. After Hallie, it had been a number of years until he had been able even to think about putting another one in its spot. The top right hand corner of his desk had been empty until he had finally put a wedding photo down only a few months ago. So it was with overwhelming joy he watched Dawson saunter off down the hall towards his office with a photo of the two of them, showing his large hands placed protectively over where his child was growing. As much as Casey loved all of the photos that they had worn their fire gear, it was nice to have a reminder of their everyday life in his office. It also sent him a very real reminder that he had to be extra safe on shift - there was something very special waiting for him at home.

* * *

Soon the Caseys had set themselves up in the conference room, eight photos spread out on the table, both trying to decide where they could place them. They had picked the biggest photos that Janine had sent to them so they couldn't be missed. Gabby knew that at least one or two of them would end up on the walls surround the house, add to the history of Firehouse 51, and another would end up in their lockers with Matt having already earmarking the one he wanted for his locker - it had to be the boots.

"We could just put them all on the side of the truck," announced Matt after several moments of thinking about it.

"What about ambo?" Gabby argued back.

"Everyone would see them on the truck, though."

"It's not all about Truck though, I've got my uniform on too!"

"Yes," commented Matt as he wrapped his arms around her from behind. "And you look sexy," he whispered into her ear. "Although this uniform of yours is starting to look a bit snug."

Gabby tried to whip around but found Matt's hold too tight, "I see what you did there Casey. Immobilise me and make a crack about me getting fat."

"Not fat babe," placing a kiss on her neck. "Sexy," he reinforced, trailing further kisses down her neck, nipping at her collarbone.

"Matt, we need to sort this out." Matt groaned as he reluctantly released her.

"What about we put them on the truck, ambo and then in the common areas in the house. If we stay in here, we can let the guys find us in here," he proposed.

Gabby nodded as they set to work. "I call boots on Herrmann's locker, he will get a kick out of that…" she trailed off.

* * *

Slowly the members of Firehouse 51 made their way into work ready for another 24 hours together.

Herrmann paused at the door of Truck 81 as something caught his eye. "Whoa!" Turning around somewhat, he found Kidd and Severide walking in together. "Hey lovebirds, any idea what this is about?" he asked brandishing the photo that showed two sets of legs wearing turnout gear with bunker boots on along with a baby set of boots.

Kidd raised an eyebrow expectantly at Severide. He only shook his head at them shrugging slightly, Severide was not what anyone would call a perceptive person in relation to anything other than firefighting.

"Maybe it's Kedder on First Watch, he and his missus having been planning another one," he theorised.

"Can't be," Kidd returned, "Whoever they are they have two sets of bunker boots…. You don't think?" she became excited, agitated but excited.

"Who?" Severide replied, obviously unaware who she was talking about. Herrmann scoffed at him.

"What's everyone looking at?" Brett asked coming onto the apparatus floor. She squealed slightly as she saw the photo. "Aww cute," she exclaimed as Otis and Cruz walked in behind her. Moving forward towards the ambo she saw something flapping on the door where Shay's name lay.

"There's another one," she pointed. This photo was similar to the last one, but this time, it was someone with station boots, a woman wearing red high heels along with those same baby boots. "Those seem familiar," she mused as she removed the photo.

"They look similar to a pair that I have," Kidd told her as she looked over Brett's shoulder. "Or a pair that had, I loaned them to Dawson ages ago and never got them back."

"Can't be," Brett commented, trying not to get her hopes up, desperately attempting to stop the impending smile.

As they entered the locker room, they were greeted with three more photos. On Herrmann's locker was a photo of a turnout coat on the ground, a helmet and baby boots placed on it, on closer inspection the turnout coat was Casey's.

"Son of a gun," whispered Herrmann. "I called it," he shouted to everyone around him.

"What?" asked Severide, still not clued in.

"Photo on your locker," Herrmann pointed out.

"Yeah," Severide replied. "It's a photo of coats. What of it? Who takes photos of coats?"

"Look closer Severide," Mouch told him as he reached around Severide to pull the photo off. The couple in the photo were sitting with turnout coats draped over their knees; one read Lieutenant Casey, the second EMS-PIC Casey and lastly the hands were holding out a baby shirt with the CFD logo and candidate printed on.

With each passing beat, the crew at Firehouse 51 allowed themselves to become more excited for their friends and expanding fire family. It had been a long time coming.

"Yeah and look at what is on Casey's locker," Cruz announced. This one showed Matt's back to the camera, grey shirt on with bunker trousers on along with those bright red suspenders. Gabby was standing facing him, face hidden by Matt's body, her arms dangling over his shoulders holding onto those now familiar boots.

"You think they're trying to tell us something?" Otis pondered, staring intently at the image.

"Ya think?" Herrmann commented as Kidd took off towards the bunk room in search of the couple

"Hey guys, breakfast is up," Borelli called as he walked into the locker room. "And this was on the fridge," he finished holding onto yet another photo. Brett snatched the photo out of Jimmy's hands. "Oh... this one is the most adorable yet," she sighed showing the group the photo of the Caseys in uniform, Matt behind Gabby whose turnout coat was pulled up and brushed back. Matt's hands were snaked under her coat and resting on her still flat belly. "I think I want to keep this one, it's perfect," she sighed.

"Where are the Caseys?" Mouch questioned

"Not in the bunk room or in Casey's quarters," Kidd announced as she walked back towards the group. "But I did find this sonogram taped to the Lieutenant's door… With a note attached announcing the new candidate Casey arriving in April," excitement evident in her voice.

Before anyone else had time to react Boden's deep voice was heard echoing through the house reminding them of roll call. The crew jumped to it getting ready for the day, most of them being caught up with the mystery that Casey and Dawson had left for them. Herrmann gathered up all the photos to hand back to the expectant parents when they finally found them.

In the conference room, Casey and Dawson heard their workmates and friends barrel their ways towards them and noticed Boden slip silently in before everyone else, giving them a tight smile.

Dawson braced herself against Casey, waiting for the oncoming storm. "You ready," he whispered as he tightened his hands around her waist.

Dawson gave him a weak smile. "It's now or never," she answered.

Before she knew it Brett and Kidd had pulled her from Casey's grasp, congratulating her.

"I knew it…. I knew it!" shouted Kidd. "You totally blew me off a few weeks ago when I called you out on it. You little…" Kidd finished with a smirk.

"Yeah, well you know," Dawson comforted, a similar expression on her face. Kidd gave her a mocking glare, before snatching the sonogram back out of Herrmann's grip, having been the one who had collected all the photos up.

"This one is going on the wall," she called over her shoulder, waving the image on her way out of the room.

Looking over at Casey from the hug she found herself still in, she saw the boys surrounding him, Severide clapping him on the shoulder before making his way over toward her.

Severide grabbed her in for a quick hug dropping a kiss on her head. "Congrats Dawson. This is awesome news," he genuinely told her. Dawson smiled, Severide had changed so much over the last year, she wondered how much of it was Kidd, how much of it was Severide just maturing or maybe it was just everything falling into place for him. He was finally in a good spot in his life and Dawson was happy for him.

"Thanks, Kel."

Turning slightly, she found herself face to face with Herrmann, tears in his eyes, his arms spread open for her.

"Remember…. I told you, it's your time Gabby," whispered Herrmann as he drew Dawson into a hug. "It's your time."

~ _His vocal cords are beginning to develop, and his ankle joints have matured and the toes have separated ~_

* * *

 **There we go, the house finally knows - Let me know what you think! At the moment, we're sailing along with them, which is a nice change :)**

 **If you want to have a sticky beak at the house I use as the Casey house and some of the inspiration that I used for their photo shoot - head over to my profile page and follow the link to my story Pinterest page. There I have photos from Week 3, 9 & 13\. Plus I'm sure that I will keep adding to my boards as the story unfolds**


	12. Week 14 - The Academy

**Wow what a week it has been - I've just started back for the last term of the school year here and the week as just flown by. And then there was that small thing of the Fire Season Premiere! Oh my, what a season opener it was - I honestly think we're in for an interesting season. The family thing does look good on Dawsey, and I can't go past that family without mentioning a certain lieutenant's arms! And I have to ask, when did Otis become so mature? It's such a nice development to see in his character.**

 **Thank you to all of you who have taken the time to review! And to R, who I believe had a laugh when she first edited this. Hope you enjoy! ~Em**

* * *

 _~ Week 14 ~_

 _~ Candidate is the size of a nectarine ~_

Gabby rustled through some papers that were scattered across the desk in their office. Whilst her paperwork for Molly's was nicely stacked and organised within a drawer that she called her own, there were piles of papers all around from the academy, their firehouse, Matt's reports and alderman work… left, right and centre, all scattered around.

She took a deep breath thumbing through yet another stack of CFD paper, searching for the letter from the Academy about the seminar that part of the senior leadership team from 51 was required to attend, she couldn't remember what it was she needed to wear. She wracked her brain to think of another time that this had been done, usually someone from the quieter houses was invited, which meant 'ordered', to meet the candidates. But it seemed like CFD headquarters were intent on rotating these types of jobs around all of the houses. The problem was it now meant that when Firehouse 51 was drafted in for the orientation day, it would have to be the off-day officers that were meant to go. And somehow Second Watch had drawn the short straw, and whilst it wasn't the norm for the PIC to be involved, it seemed that it was becoming more and more common for the firefighter candidates to be EMT-Paramedic trained. Therefore, all officers were deemed important enough to be 'invited'.

When Boden had called them together two weeks ago, Gabby had complained about having to attend for most of the shift. Honestly, they had all complained about it, none of them all that keen on giving up their precious day off for something that was CFD related… Well, at least not something that was going to be a long day. Gabby, whilst normally would not have complained, she just didn't think she'd be able to handle a whole day at the academy, not in a stuffy hall, standing on her feet all day, growing a baby and all. She just wouldn't be able to cope and this had caused everyone at Firehouse 51 to cop an earful about how she didn't want to go. Both of the lieutenants were always ready to give back to the academy, but in the middle of a very warm fall, having to get dressed in their white shirts, stand around in a lecture theatre for a long time just didn't seem appealing. Matt had joked that he was going to send Herrmann in his place since he too was a lieutenant. Plus, these type of days seemed like all of the instructors were going to be doing the talking and everything that was needed, and they, the officers, usually just stood around looking pretty. Well, at least, that's what Gabby had thought when she was a candidate, back in the day.

Either way, they wouldn't be going anywhere if she couldn't find the paperwork that Matt had put down somewhere. She was so sure that they needed to have separate offices, there was no way she was sharing with Matt anymore. She really only used it for Molly's paperwork, but Matt seemed to be struggling to keep anything in order, and she was fed up. Stomping her feet slightly, she pulled herself up from her seated position, gathering up all the random pieces of paper from the desktop intent on removing them. As she stormed out of the office, she wondered if Matt was in the basement… if that was the case, would she be able to just throw the paper down the stairs? As annoyed as she was at the very moment, she knew that wouldn't be a good idea at all. In the end, it would likely be her that picked everything up.

She came to a stand still in the foyer slash open space just outside of their office, Gabby still wasn't sure what they could possibly do with this area of the house. When they had first looked at their house, the realtor had suggested a piano, apparently, both of the two owners previously had kept a piano in that empty area. Matt had been quite taken with that particular idea, whilst Gabby had openly laughed. What were they going to do with a piano? In her mind, it was just one more object that would collect dust, one that she would end up cleaning. But Matt hadn't let go of the idea... not just yet.

"Matt?" she raised her voice, not sure of where in the house he had disappeared to. She hadn't seen him since he had left for a shower, whilst she had made her way downstairs in search of breakfast.

A few moments later, Matt appeared with his white shirt still unbuttoned a smirk plastered on his face, her breath hitched slightly. Within moments it, however, dialled up her anger even more. This pregnancy was having no effect on him at all, whilst here she was hormones surging around her body, and it frustrated her. Over the last week or so, she had definitely had a surge in her energy levels, she was feeling healthy and ready to tackle anything head on. Busy days on the Ambo were once again much more pleasurable, she could get through a shift without needing to fall asleep as soon as they arrived back at the house. But her emotions were still up and down, all over the place. Plus there was the issue of not completely fitting into some of her clothes. And he was standing in front of her in his white shirt, that blasted white shirt.

So when he walked in with what she interpreted as a smug grin plastered on his face, she wasn't in a good spot and just flew off the handle slightly.

"Really?" she questioned, looking at him. Without even waiting for an answer, she took the pile of papers, mostly belonging to Matt, and threw them up in the air, watching momentarily as they rained over him.

Matt was stunned, not too sure what it was that had caused this 'small' outburst. So stunned that he didn't even notice that Gabby had stormed out. Bending over, he started to gather up the fallen papers finding that yes, they were mostly his. Thinking seriously for a moment, Matt realised that he had been severely lax about his filing and organisation. No one could ever call Lieutenant Casey out on his paperwork, however recently Matt's mind had been filled with so many other things, much more pleasant things. This had meant Matt would come home from political events or meetings and simply throw bits of paper into the office. He had kept meaning to come in and clear up after himself, but it had never happened. Pushing them hastily into a pile, he placed them all into the in tray on the desk. Turning on his heels, he made his way upstairs in search of the likely weepy Gabby. This pregnancy had done a number on her emotions, but he was still going to enjoy every single moment that was coming his way.

Matt had to dodge quickly, as an object came flying out of her closet. Watching as several objects quickly followed, Matt had to try and restrain himself from allowing a smirk to cross his face. 'And so it begins,' he thought to himself, wisely deciding to keep that comment to himself. Sensibly he decided to finish doing his buttons up before poking his head around the door of the closet, he had seen Gabby eying him like a piece of meat earlier. Any other time and he wouldn't have minded one little bit, the increase in energy levels that she was experiencing had seemingly included an increase in desire. Unfortunately, they were due at the academy in just under an hour and he knew that Severide would never let him forget it if they were late.

"Gabs?" he started tentatively, his eyes darting around to see if he could locate the crazy one. However, this time, he wasn't able to move fast enough before her white shirt came hurtling towards his face. A mere second later he felt a slight pain stinging his left cheek, picking up Gabby's white shirt to find a drop of blood near Gabby's nameplate. Matt couldn't quite believe it, she had actually thrown the article of clothing that she needed to put on at him, and he was sure that she wouldn't be able to cover up the blood stain that he had managed to inflict on the poor shirt. There just wasn't enough time. They really did need to leave soon.

"Gabs?" he tried again, this time actually receiving the attention of his wife. And whilst before he had been at the receiving end of her eyes, it was now his turn to rake his eyes up and down her figure. There wasn't a bump at all visible, he couldn't wait for when her body would start to grow and he was able to feel movement, there was something primal stirring inside of him at that thought. She still wasn't quite dressed; she was obviously still looking for something. She had her work pants on, however, they were sitting a little lower on her hips then she normally would, as well as missing a belt. In addition to that, she still wasn't wearing her CFD shirt, rather she was waltzing around with a tank top on. Matt kind of understood, it was still in the mid-80s as they were coming to the end of summer, beginning of fall. But it wasn't normal for Gabby not to be ready.

Gabby huffed as she let herself out of the closet, tugging at her pants. Matt threw a hand around her bare shoulder, pulling her in for a hug, letting his fingers ghost down her bare arm, smiling as she shivered slightly. As his fingers made their ways down her arm, he slid them under her tank top, feeling the firm mass underneath his fingers.

"Matt," whined Gabby. "I can't go… There's nothing to wear, I don't fit into anything," she complained. Matt raised his eyebrows and took a step back from her to look down at the non-existent bump that she wasn't sporting.

"Gabs, Smudge isn't big enough yet. You can't even tell that you're pregnant. No bump there at all," he tried to comfort.

However, Gabby wasn't having any of it, pulling at the top that was tucked into her pants. "See?" she questioned pointing down at her belly. Matt stared for a moment, nothing was obvious to him, yes her waistline had definitely become thicker, but there was no way he would be saying that to her. Thicker waistline, not a bump… it was barely a swell.

"All I see is my gorgeous wife," he honestly told her, taking her into his arms, resting his chest on her back. Twisting them both slightly, he glanced in the mirror, hooking his chin over her shoulder. "Yes Gabriela, your body has started to change, but you are not fat…"

"FAT?" Gabby screeched, as she tried to pull away. She hadn't ever said anything about being fat, more that she was only feeling uncomfortable and was struggling to work out what to wear.

"Babe," he soothed, trailing kissing down her shoulder. Gabby twisted in his embrace to capture Matt's lips, moaning at the contact. The best thing about her second trimester so far was the return of her energy and the almost insatiable feelings she was having towards her husband. Feeling his hands moving through her hair, massaging her scalp, Gabby took that as her cue to start unbuttoning his white shirt. Making quick work of the buttons, she pushed it off of his shoulders, pulling away to watch as it falls to the floor. Taking control, she pushed Matt back towards the bed. "Gabs," he groaned. "We can't do this. We need to be at the academy in half an hour. I'm good, but I'm not that good," he teased.

Gabby grumbled as she pulled back, "Tickets on yourself Matthew," she retorted tussling his blonde hair. "I'm not coming to the academy anymore," she firmly told him, bending over to pick up his white shirt and tossing it to him.

"And why not? It's not like Boden gave us a choice," he replied, fiddling with his badge which had seemed to dislodge itself on the trip to the floor.

"I've been looking for the memo from the Academy about today and the dress standards… that would be much easier if you keep your desk tidy," she glared in his direction. "Nevermind, it was on the fridge. Here I was thinking that as a PIC I might be able to get away with my station wear, but it clearly states Charlie uniform," she complained. Matt looked at her, just one eyebrow cocked, Gabby wasn't making any sense at all. Clearly, she still had her dress shirt, a white one that she would be required to wear as a Paramedic in Charge, one of them had hit him in the face not that long ago. Gabby huffed again, was Matt that oblivious? Honestly, the man was a lieutenant with the Chicago Fire Department and had worked his fair share of arson investigations or at least helped out with them, so it's not like he couldn't see things that were right in front of his face.

Gabby swiped up the offending shirt from the floor, glaring at it whilst doing so. She was so frustrated over the whole situation that she didn't even notice Matt's blood that had been spilt on it. Sliding it over her shoulder, she slowly began to do up the buttons. The first few at the bottom were fine, however, around her tummy, it started to become tighter and problematic. And by the time she reached just below her chest, the buttons began to strain. She was unable to even get the small buttons done up around the widest part of her body, sniffing audibly she threw her hands down by her side, finally letting her emotions get the better of herself.

"I just wanted to see if I could wear my house uniform," she sniffed. "I've been able to get a slightly bigger top for work and I thought I might be able to get away with that at the academy… But no… White dress shirt that is short sleeved. If I was still a firefighter I might have been lucky, that dress uniform is a little bigger. What am I going to do Matt?"

Matt paused for a moment, regarding the situation… It was going to be a white shirt in this situation whether she was a firefighter or paramedic. It was only her dress uniform that she had changed when she had changed positions, but he wasn't going to bring that up. "It's too hot for a sweater," he pondered, thinking that would be a way around needing to completely do up her shirt. Rather he had to think outside the square. Gabby screwed up her face at even the thought of having to put a sweater on in this heat, not to mention that as a pregnant person she was feeling a few degrees warmer than everyone else. Without saying a word, Matt disappeared into his own closet.

Gabby regarded him for a short second, before walking over to sit on the edge of the bed, her mind racing to think of what she was going to do.

"I think you might need to order a new dress uniform," Matt voiced, breaking her out of her inner thoughts. Looking up, she found Matt holding out a coat hanger with a white shirt upon it. She gave him a puzzled look. "This was my first dress shirt," he explained. "I was definitely a fair bit smaller back then… It's still going to be big on you, but at least it's going to fit better than your shirt," he commented.

She looked at him as if there was something seriously wrong with him before taking the proffered item. Shaking her head slightly she pulled the shirt on and attempted to button it up, all the while thinking it wasn't going to work. After fiddling with the shirt for a while, Gabby finally looked down, trying to work out what was going on, this just wasn't working for her. Matt had to gulp down a laugh as he watched on, Gabby still hadn't caught on that his shirt buttoned up in reverse of her own.

Taking pity on her, he gently pushed her hands away from the shirt, himself making quick work of the buttons. Turning her around to look in the mirror, he smiled. "See, this could work," he encouraged as Gabby pursed her lips. But she still wasn't convinced, his shirt was still too large. "All we need to do is find a way to pull it in a bit and then once it's tucked in, no one is going to notice."

"Everyone is going to notice Matt!" she complained. However, she pulled at the material around the sides of the shirt, realising that she just needed a way to dart the shirt in. Looking through her bedside drawer, she managed to find some safety pins and undid a few of the middle buttons on Matt's shirt. Pulling the material from the inside, Gabby was able to gather the excess material and pin it in on both sides. She took some time trying not to prick herself with a pin, trying not to rip the shirt or make it look lopsided. She found that pulling from the inside it was seemingly working well.

Before long, she was in a shirt that resembled something that she might be able to get away at the academy for the day. Yes, the sleeves were a little longer than she would have liked, and yes it was a fair bit baggier than her normal shirt, but she would deal with it. Tucking her shirt in, she pulled some of the shirt out away from her body, hoping to draw attention away from her belly.

"See I told you it would work," Matt smirked as he tossed her her own white shirt allowing her a chance to remove her badge and name plate. Leaning down to kiss her, he removed the badge from her hands allowing himself the chance to pin it on. To him it was almost like a victory. His brow furrowed in confusion however when he saw the Dawson name plate that she wore.

"Matt, don't," she pleaded, noticing his eyes fixating on the plate. "Just for today, when we go to the academy I need to be PIC Dawson. I don't need questions and I don't want to flaunt our marriage. You know that we're lucky that we can work together… Let's just be Lieutenant Casey and PIC Dawson, just for this one day," she begged.

Gabby had struggled with this decision for a while now. It might not have been since the moment they had been told about this seminar, but fairly soon afterwards. She had actually come home and searched for her whites, in all of the time she had been married to Matt there had been no cause for her to wear either her Class A or B uniforms. And that evening when Matt had gone out for a professional networking dinner, she had found the small box that held all of her metal pieces for the many different uniforms she owned. It hadn't been her intention to look for her Dawson name badge, but once it had caught her eye it had started her thinking. Obviously, she wouldn't ever be able to serve under Matt on Truck 81, honestly, if she thought about it, she wasn't sure that she could understand how it was that she was even able to stay at House 51.

As she had run her fingers over her name plate she had decided that it would be in her best interests to wear it to the seminar. It was nothing against Matt, she was proud to have his name and for their unborn child to be a Casey, Gabby was very traditional in that sense; no Dawson-Casey or Casey-Dawson for this little family. And everyone knew how news flew around the department, she didn't need to give anyone at the academy a chance to look at her sideways, not to mention she just was not ready to tell the Paramedic Chief about her pregnancy just yet. Realistically she did still have a few more weeks before she had to tell him.

She watched as Matt struggled internally for a beat. There was nothing more he enjoyed than making sure that everyone knew she was his girl. Ever professional at work, but all of their belongings were labelled Casey, and he was struggling to understand why this was important to her. But she wasn't having a good day with her uniform and the fact that he had left the office in a mess, best to give her this one.

* * *

"Honestly Casey and Casey, what time do you call this?" Severide questioned from his position leaning up against the wall that led into the academy seminar hall that was going to be hosting the meeting today. He had obviously been waiting for them to arrive.

"What too afraid to go in by yourself Severide?" Gabby questioned as they dragged their feet up the stairs. "Big Squad lieutenant like yourself?" she teased.

Severide scoffed slightly as he pushed himself off the wall. "Ready for the day from hell?" he asked.

Matt shook his head slightly at the two in front of him. "Hey, what is written on those walls? What is it they teach us in here? It only takes one shift to change a life… You both know that this could be that day for some of these candidates," he mock scolded them. Whilst he wasn't that keen on being here either, giving up a precious day off, he also knew that it was important for these new candidates to see people they could aspire to be. Not just the white shirters - the higher rankers. But rather them, still officers with a rank, yet something that was quite attainable to them if they were willing to work hard. And Matt knew that there were more and more firefighters who were going to EMT trained, and to have a PIC from a busy house was going to give them an insight into the importance for all of the different rigs needing to work together. Not to mention that this would also give any female candidates, either paramedic or firefighter someone to look up to. Here was Gabby, a PIC and former firefighter leading the way for anyone to follow in her footsteps. Matt shook his head at them before stalking off towards the door.

Gabby watched as he sauntered off. She hadn't ever seen him so worked up about anything like that recently. They all knew how much they owed the academy, that was never in question. But no one liked giving up a day to spend in a lecture hall. She quickened her pace to reach Matt before he reached the doors.

"Hey," she grabbed onto his wrist and pulled him away from the door. "We know how important today is, for the candidates and to everyone in the fire department. You know Severide is just being himself. No one would willingly put their hand up for this gig though Babe," she told him as she ran a finger down his cheek.

Matt gave her a small smile before glancing hurriedly around to make sure that they were in an empty hall, well emptyish hall, before leaning down to give her a quick kiss. "Do you know how sexy you are in my uniform?" he whispered into her ear making her blush.

"Keep it in your pants Case," Severide teased as he finally reached them. "Come on, let's get this over with," he commented leading the way into the hall.

Gabby leant up against the wall at the back of the hallway in between the two 51 lieutenants taking in the scene in front of herself. Matt thought back to the time so many years ago that he and Severide were in this exact same position. There weren't too many times that he had been back in this position, the academy class didn't run yearly, that's how he and Severide had ended up in the same group. He watched as the recruits slowly filed into the room, starting to fill the seats from the front of the hall. Every so often there would be one who would think about moving towards the back, generally those recruits were younger. Obviously, many of them had taken one look at Sev's stern face and thought better of it and had simply taken the next available seat.

Matt thought about his time at the academy, he remembered the nervous energy that had filled him at the first seminar that he had attended, one that could be sensed in the room today. The whole room had been enveloped in a high-strung silence, everyone was really thinking that they were not allowed to talk, a stark contrast to what it would be like in six months. People were still very unsure about each other and didn't know anyone so chatter was at a minimum. He looked over startled as Severide stretched over and kicked him in the foot. He gave his fellow lieutenant a confused look.

Severide pointed out a young guy and lady who were seated not too far from the trio, but intently talking to each other. Matt raised his eyebrows. "Do you think she might be able to stop twirling her hair around her finger when one of the instructors comes in?" Gabby hissed.

"Dawson," Severide replied. "You were one of those girls… In my class, might I add," he finished with a glint in his eyes.

Gabby glared at him, "You mean I was in your class and I happened to be a female," she clarified. "I was nothing like that," she finished jerking a finger in the direction of the hair twirling recruit.

"No… You were too busy making eyes at the truck lieutenant over there," he teased. Matt laughed slightly as he discreetly moved to tap her on the behind.

Before Gabby was able to open her mouth, the door swung open. In filed a number of Academy Instructors with Chief Tiberg taking to the podium. Gabby raised her eyebrows questioningly at Matt, what was he doing here? Usually, it was the Dean of Students making this opening speech. She was so deep in thought that she missed the beginning of the welcome from Tiberg.

"...When you start in a few weeks, you will be spending your first days learning to climb a ladder properly, running up stairs and doing push-ups. In about a year, after graduation from the academy and a probationary period, most of you will become full-fledged firefighters," he started, scanning the audience, his eyes finally falling to the 51 members at the back of the crowd. These three were shining examples of the Chicago Fire Department Academy, he wondered how many of the people sitting in front of him today would become the next leaders of the CFD. At the back, he knew that Kelly Severide had the skills and ability to become part of the Exempt Rank Members, however, he wasn't as likely to be politically suited to one of those positions as Matthew Casey would be. Severide might have the raw instinct, but Casey's experience in the Chicago political world would stand him in good stead to move up the ranks.

"Not everyone here will make it. Either here at the Academy or during your probation period. But all we, as instructors and experienced firefighters, ask you to do today is listen to what you are being told today. Listen, find out if this is actually going to be the right job for you. Some of you may listen, chat to our firefighters and paramedics and then leave - and that's fine. Not everyone in the world can do this, and that's why it's such a great job. And on that note - we have many of the instructors here who you will be learning from, please acknowledge them," he stated as he led them in a round of applause.

"And following with tradition, during these seminars we invite current serving members of a local firehouse to be here. Today we welcome a number of the officers from Firehouse 51; Lieutenant Severide, Lieutenant Casey and Paramedic in Charge Dawson." Dawson smiled slightly, Tiberg could never remember that she had changed her name, this had worked out quite well for her. "Firehouse 51 is one of our busiest firehouses in Chicago and has a Squad rig, lead by Lieutenant Severide. These members along with some of our firefighters will be around to answer any questions that you may have about your new career later today. Make sure you pick their brains since they are on the front line every shift… Especially Paramedic Dawson, it is becoming more common for you to be EMS trained."

Before long the three members at the rear tuned out Tiberg's long, long speech. Soon Gabby wasn't too sure how much longer that she would be able to stay standing up, just as Matt tugged on her sleeve and nodded at the door. All the instructors were being dismissed, allowing them time to get some refreshments.

Severide, Matt and Gabby decided to walk towards the lobby with their coffees, trying to escape from the other instructors, none of them really wanting to make small talk with anyone else. Well, Matt and Kelly were drinking coffee, Gabby, however, wasn't able to find any decaf so had to settle for a juice. Severide looked at Gabby strangely for a few moments, trying to work out what was different about her.

"Dawson?" he called out, his fingers reaching out to grasp onto her white shirt. "Is that Casey's shirt?" he asked cheekily.

 _~ All of her internal organs formed during the first trimester ~_


	13. Week 15 - Fire

**I've got to say I am loving this season so far of fire, for the most part, there has been a great balance of everything.**

 **Thank you for all the feedback and reviews, all are very appreciated**

 **~Em**

* * *

 _~ Candidate is now the size of an apple ~_

Sylvie Brett let her hair tie flick into place as she walked into the briefing room, wondering where everyone else was. Glancing down at her watch, she was surprised that no one else was around for roll call, she hadn't passed Dawson yet. But that wasn't anything new at the moment since morning sickness hadn't been that kind to her over the past few weeks. The last few shifts Dawson had been the last one running through the door for briefing and the first to leave. Brett had taken upon herself to do more of the grunt work trying to lighten the load for her PIC. And wherever Dawson was Casey would likely also be, whilst he had never shirked his lieutenant's duties but he wasn't coming in at work as earlier has he would have been in the past. Brett didn't mind that she had to take on the extra work for Dawson, she was incredibly excited for both of the Caseys… Well, at least that was what she was reminding herself.

Looking around herself for the last time to see if anyone else was coming in, Brett pushed on the glass door letting herself into the room. However, the sight in front of her stopped her in her tracks. There sat Dawson and Casey huddled around the table furthest from the door, their heads bent and close together, Casey almost had his temple pressed against hers. And there was something about Dawson, she was looking radiant. Pregnancy suited Dawson in Brett's opinion. She looked well and even though she had been having a few rough weeks, she was glowing. And today, something had changed in the last 24 hours since she and Dawson had caught up, she was looking bright eyed and ready to go. There was just something about the Caseys, almost an aura around the pair that made Brett ache. She knew better than pretty much anyone the heartache they had been through over the last few years to get to this point. In those early days of their messy engagement breakup, she had heard Gabby sobbing herself to sleep every night for weeks upon weeks.

But to look at them now, Brett wanted her own chance at happiness. To be able to find her own Matt Casey. She knew that she was on her own journey and part of that journey was the ups and downs and how she would get to her end destination, but sometimes she just wanted to be at that end point. Well aware that it hadn't been an easy time for either Dawson or Casey - they had lost not one but two children. Still here they were, stronger than ever, expecting a new arrival in a mere matter of months. And whilst she would never admit it to anyone, she wanted that too. To be able to head home after a shift to a special someone.

She was barely inside the doorway, trying to make as little noise as possible when Boden came in the door next to the whiteboard ready to start roll call. Brett was only just able to slide out of the way as the rest of the house came barrelling through the door. As she made her way over to the far side of the room to find her usual spot next to Dawson, she watched intently as Casey began his way towards to the back of the room after one final brush over Dawson's belly. It was the little things that made Casey the perfect husband, there's was nothing too small to show Dawson that he cared. What Brett found interesting was the transformation that happened before the entire house's eyes, you could actually see him shift from Matt into Lieutenant Casey as he purposefully strode to take his usual spot next to the squad lieutenant. And at the same time, Dawson's eyes never left her husband until he was settled in next to Severide.

Boden had barely been able to get the words 'Good Morning' out of his mouth before the bells rang about an accident needing Ambo's attention. He nodded at the two women as they made their way out of the room.

"Thanks Chief," Dawson acknowledged as she went past, before nodding at Casey who gave her a small smile.

* * *

Dawson hauled herself into the passenger's seat and gave Brett a wide smile whilst waiting for the garage doors to open.

"Well, aren't you cheery today?" Brett commented as she pulled the Ambo onto the still quiet Chicago streets.

"For the first time in weeks, I woke up without any nausea. And I didn't feel like I needed to fall asleep at 8 at night, I can't remember the last time that happened," Gabby gleefully told her.

Brett couldn't help but laugh at her friend, one that was bubbling over at the idea that she was able to stay awake during what was considered a relatively early time at night.

"Hey," Gabby accused. "You laugh now… You just wait Sylvie Brett, your time will come and you too will understand how good it is to wake up and not feel like you still have the worst hangover in your life. And it wasn't even a good hangover."

"Good rehearsal for when the baby actually arrives."

Brett tried to keep her laughter light as she thought about what Dawson was saying to her. When would her time be here? When would it be her turn to be complaining about how exhausted she was? Brett had moved to Chicago in search of a new life, not to sit at home with her boyfriend watching movies… But over the last few years she had lived that 'going out and enjoy everything' lifestyle. And now she was ready for a new season in her life. Though she would never admit it Brett was actually a bit jealous of both Dawson and Kidd. And who would have ever thought that Severide would actually look like settling down, with a female firefighter of all people?

"Brett?" Gabby's voice shook her out of her self-inflicted daydream land. "Earth to Brett - you okay?"

"Yeah," Brett fobbed her off, focusing her attention back on the road. "Just thinking about the shift head of us. You know it's never going to be a good day when we get called out before roll call has even started," she quipped.

Gabby laughed along with her, neither of them knowing how true Brett's statement would turn out to be.

* * *

Late in the afternoon, Brett came across Dawson restocking the ambo whilst humming quietly to herself. It had been a while since she had seen Dawson this full of energy and out working on the rig when it was past 6pm. The whole day she had been watching a completely fresh and re-energized Dawson. Something that she had been missing for many many weeks. Brett had missed having her usual partner around working with her, and she had to pick up more of a leading role on Ambo. In some ways, it was like training for when Dawson would leave for her maternity leave. Not that she hadn't been in that role before, but that was an annoyance for another day.

"You seem like a completely different person today Dawson…" Brett commented as she leant up against the open door of the rig. Dawson's head shot up at the sound of the laughter in her friend's voice. She had begun to feel guilt over all of the extra work that Brett had had to pick up over the last few weeks, she had gone from needing to sleep at the drop of a hat to feeling like she wanted, or needed, to throw up every second of the day.

She had reasoned that the only reason she was able to function as a paramedic was the adrenaline rush from every call. But now she was starting to feel better she knew that she needed to step up and be the PIC again, unlike having a firefighting candidates, it wasn't up to her partner to do all the grunt work. Whilst the buck might stop with her, Gabby knew that she needed to pick up a fair share of the load.

"It's amazing how a bit of sleep and energy can change your life Brett," she commented looking down at the slight swell, her hand coming to rest on it.

Brett looked away slightly, still not used to the ugly green monster that was continually rearing its ugly head. If she was honest with herself, she has never really thought about having kids… Maybe back in a different time when she was still with Harrison. Life was taking turns that she could never have imagined, and she couldn't even explain why she was feeling the way she did. When the Caseys had been fostering Louie she had not harboured these same feelings, so they had caught her slightly off guard this time.

Taking in a slightly shaky breath, Brett plastered a smile on her face and turned back around to face Gabby. Gabby, however, had noticed that all wasn't right with her friend and proceed to pull her into the back of the Ambo. She busied herself counting stock whilst sitting on the stretcher, knowing that Brett would open up to her just given the time.

After a few moments, Gabby opened her mouth, "Is there anything you want to say? I'm happy to hear anything Brett, the good, the bad and the ugly."

"In some ways, I feel like we've only just started working together again and now you're going again," confessed Brett as she climbed up into the rig to take a seat on the floor opposite Gabby. "Everything is changing and there's nothing that I can do to slow it down." Brett believed that this was the best course of action - to tell Gabby what was going on, sorta. She didn't want to tell her that she was jealous, it would come off as petty.

"Brett, I'm not going anywhere… Not really. It's not like we're just work colleagues. We're friends. You're still going to see me."

"But it won't be the same… Having a new PIC…"

"Hey, Brett, you know that you'll probably just step back up to the PIC role. I'll be sure to make that suggestion to Boden…"

"Dawson, it's not about that. It's just not going to be the same, riding with someone else…"

Gabby shuffled towards the back doors pulling them slightly closed. There was something that she could hear in Brett's voice that made her sure that this wasn't just about her leaving Ambo… Hell, they hadn't even spoken about her leaving. Yes, it was a foregone conclusion that she would have to leave at some point, it wasn't going to be anytime soon.

"Sylvie - There isn't anything we can do right now. We can't change anything. And there's nothing that can be achieved by worrying about something that we can't change, right now," she told her workmate.

Brett nodded her head slowly. She couldn't even comprehend what Gabby might actually say to her if she really knew what she thought. That she was jealous of Gabby and everything she had. And that she wanted Gabby's life, and that thought alone made Brett hate herself all the more. Gabby sat motionless as she watched Brett's face and body language, there was something that wasn't right. Whilst Gabby couldn't quite put her finger on it, she knew that it was more than just her leaving Ambo soon.

As she opened her mouth to see if she could work it out, she was cut off by the ringing of the bells.

"We're doing a girl's night Brett - you, me and Kidd," Gabby informed her as she clambered out of the rig. Hopefully, a night out with the girls would allow Brett to really open up to what was going on.

* * *

It was a full blown factory fire that Brett pulled up to.

"Just park it over on the side," advised Dawson as she looked around her finding that none of the fire rigs had turned up yet, although she could hear the sirens wailing in the near distance.

Jumping out, Dawson found herself facing a raging inferno with smoke billowing out of the doors and windows. Turning to face the Chief who was taking in the sight next to her. "I don't like it Chief," she commented, her firefighting side taking over.

Boden slowly started to nod his head as they were joined by Casey and Severide. "What have we got Chief?" Severide inquired.

"Fully involved structure fire… I don't like it either…" He looked around himself to see if there were any people about.

"It's an abandoned warehouse Chief," added Kelly. "Likely not to be anyone in there."

"But we should do a primary, just in case," inputted Casey. How many times had they been almost certain that they were at the empty residence, that there would be no one to save, only to find that one had been missed? How could they leave that to chance? And in all of his musings, he failed to notice the hard stare that Dawson shot his way.

"I will not play beat the clock Casey," Boden replied. "There is nothing to say that there is anyone in that building. I want Engine up there with hoses…" Looking around one last time, he raised his voice above the hubble that surrounded the site. "81, raise the aerial… and fire up the water cannons."

Casey stood firm, his eyes scanning the windows for any signs of life, Severide doing a similar thing. It was only a moment or two before Casey was sure that he saw movement in the lower left corner. "There," he announced pointing towards the window in question, "I swear I saw movement Chief," he earnestly told anyone who would listen.

Boden sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. "Okay, Casey, Severide you have two minutes - not even a second longer. Do you hear me?"

Both lieutenants nodded as they took off running towards the building, pulling on their breathing apparatus as they moved. Dawson's breath caught in her throat as she watched both men charging towards a building that was billowing smoke from all angles.

As normal, the rest of 81 were suited up ready to follow their lieutenant in with Herrmann leading the charge. "No, Herrmann," Casey turned at the last possible second to stop his older second in command, "No… Severide and I have got this. Cindy would never forgive me. We do not need to risk the whole company over this."

Turning back towards the building, Matt missed Brett's shocked look and Gabby's incredibly pissed look. Everyone around them could feel the fury radiating off of the young PIC.

Seconds ticked by as they entered the building, each one feeling like another hour to Dawson. She swore black and blue that they had been in there for more than two minutes. Obviously, there was someone in there, why else would they be taking this long - she didn't like this. Suddenly there was a loud explosion as black smoke puffed through the top windows.

"CASEY! SEVERIDE… Out of that building… NOW!"

Dawson's eyes began to fill with tears, she had never felt the fear that she was currently feeling coursing through her body. Herrmann turned to look at her as he heard the slight gasp from her direction.

"Hey kid," he pulled her towards the Ambo and away from the scene, shielding her from the rest of the house. "He's going to be alright Dawson… You know Casey - that boy has more lives than a cat. He's going to be just fine," he tried to reassure the PIC in his arms.

Dawson managed to nod her head slightly, her bottom lip quivering, still unable to form any coherent words. They were taking far too long to respond to Boden's call… Matt was taking too long, what was she going to do if something happened to him?

She let out a huge sigh of relief as she saw her husband coming towards her, Severide by his side helping their victim towards the company. Glancing sideways, she motioned towards Brett to grab the gurney and head towards their workmates. And the closer she moved towards them, the fear began to disappear. A hand closed around the collar of Casey's turnout coat and the second patting him down to make sure that he was still alive and okay.

"Don't you ever do that again…" she warned. Glancing over at Severide, she raised her eyebrows in question, breathing out as Severide nodded. She released Casey's coat as she turned towards their smoke inhalation victim, and as she did so she found that the fear that she had previously felt turn into anger. She was roaring mad at him, how could he be so worried about his men, but have no regard for himself?

She heard the Chief's voice break through her thoughts, "Get him to Med, Dawson."

How could Casey have done what he had done? How could he be so reckless? The closer she got to the Ambo to more enraged she was becoming. Toss the keys over at Brett, she saw Casey's face and his mouth open ready to say something. Not wanting anything to do with him, she slammed the rig's back doors shut, leaving a stunned Casey standing.

Gabby settled herself down into the back seat, one eye on the monitor. All the while her mind ticking over and Casey's hollow voice echoing in her head, _'Not you Herrmann… Cindy would never forgive me.'_ Her hand went up to her mouth to try and stifle the sob that was trying to break through.

* * *

Matt paused at the back door entrance to the Casey house the next morning as Gabby slammed the door in his face. What had happened this time? Matt had stopped trying to make sense of anything that she did about six weeks ago. Sometimes Gabby was the most reasonable person in the world… But other times, even if he did manage to get an explanation as to why she was annoyed with him, he still wouldn't be able to understand what he had really done. But he was quickly learning that everything, not to mention anything, was his fault now.

Taking a deep breath, Matt opened the door fully intending to find his side of the bed and hopefully cuddling up to Gabby and getting some sleep after that crazy call. But he found himself just about to take his first step up towards the bedroom when a flying pillow hit him square in the chest. Having had the wind knocked out of him slightly and with the pillow having taken him by surprise, Matt quickly found himself on his butt with another pillow hurtling towards his head. Moving fast, he managed to get his head far enough out of the way that the pillow managed to miss him. What was up with this wife of his?

"Since you like to live on the wild side, you can sleep down there!" Gabby flounced off and slammed the bedroom door. It was so hard that Matt could feel it all the way downstairs. Matt picked himself and the pillow up off the floor.

Deciding he was too tired to fight Gabby or to even think about what he might have done, but at the same time, he wasn't too sure that he could find sleep for himself. So rather than head upstairs to see what was eating at Gabby, he decided to let her calm down and then talk to her later. There was no point letting everything go to hysterics like it likely would if he went up now. He didn't have a clear head about what it was that he had even done. All he had done was his job, and he couldn't work out what he had done wrong. Instead, he decided that he should probably start cleaning the study.

Matt was notorious for keeping a clean and tidy space at the firehouse. He knew that his workmates would be horrified to even know that it was all Matt's doing that their office space was really unusable. Bending down, he swiped all of the papers off the ground and began to shuffle through them, sorting them into piles. He would never have thought that an alderman's job would come with quite so much paperwork. It was part of any job, the paperwork - the unseen part, the part that no one would ever talk about. And between his three jobs, he was drowning in paperwork.

Sighing, he looked over the numerous piles that had accumulated on the desk in the short time he had been sifting through them. He had even managed to collect a massive amount of Fire Department paperwork at home, he still wasn't sure how that had even happened. Matt knew he needed a better system of sorting all of this out. Glancing around the room, he realised that Gabby had bought coloured filing folders for her paperwork from Molly's. He was sure that he could use that.

Kneeling down to reach into the bottom drawer Matt's hand brushed against a stack of paper at the very back of the drawer. Curious as to what they were he withdrew a stack of them. Smiling he found that they were a bunch of photos, and he found as he was flicking through them that some were old and others much more recent. Pausing at one, he decided he needed to show this one to Gabby. You never know, it might just lift her spirits and get her to open up to him.

Quietly he made his way up to their bedroom in the hopes that she would have woken up by now. However, the sight that greeted him took his breath away. Gabby was still sprawled in bed, hair in a mess spread out all over her pillow. Matt could see from the doorway that there were dried tear tracks running all the way down her face, and it was like a stab in the chest for him. He had had no idea that she would have cried herself to sleep, he never would have never let it get that far.

Slowly he made his way over towards her. Kneeling down beside the bed, he brushed the strands of hair out of her face, only to find their latest photo of Smudge held tightly in her hand. Resting back on his heels, Matt carefully pried the image out of her grasp, hoping that she wouldn't be startled awake.

Matt was shocked into a sudden realisation as he added the ultrasound to the pile of photos that he had in his hand. The image that was on the top of his pile was a photo of himself, Kelly and Andy Darden… He wondered how Heather and the boys were going, no one had heard from them recently. Matt was sure that Griffin and Ben would have grown up quite a lot since he had last seen them, and it occurred to him that this was likely to be Gabby's worst nightmare - their child losing their father. He had never meant for her to even think that.

Taking a deep breath, Matt got to his feet and bent over to brush a kiss onto her forehead. "I'm so sorry baby, I never meant to scare you or Smudge," he whispered, leaving a warm hand over her belly.

* * *

Making his way back to the office, Matt walked as if he was a man on a mission. Matt was realistic enough to know that nothing was certain in life, and he certainly didn't go to work thinking that something tragic was going to happen and he certainly wasn't going to say anything to Gabby about this… Well not just yet, but he knew he needed to do something for Smudge, just in case. He wasn't saying that he didn't plan on being around for a long time to come, but this would be a nice 21st present for Smudge if he got started on it now.

 _Dear Smudge,_ he wrote _,_

 _I don't even know where to begin. You've still got a lot of growing to do before Momma and I get to met you, we don't ever know if you're a boy or girl yet. You can't tell Momma but I'm imagining that you might be a girl. A strong willed little girl just like her Momma. But it doesn't matter, I just can't wait to meet you. Chief, who is Momma and Daddy's boss, previously has made us write letters to those we love just in case something happens. And today Daddy did something really silly. He scared Momma, she thought that I wasn't thinking about you and her, but Smudge you both are never far from my mind._

 _You're still really small, the size of an apple. It's hard to even imagine that you are even that small. We've only just told your families about you and everyone is so excited to meet you… all of your families. Smudge you are going to be loved, because you're special and lucky to have three families._

 _There's Momma's family with your beautiful grandparents who cannot wait to meet you. I'm sure grandma has already started to buy every little thing she sees for you. And Uncle Antonio, you have already made your big scary detective uncle happy, just because he wants to meet and cuddle you so badly. Momma will tease him about being okay at his job as an Uncle, but I know that he is going to protect you no matter what. And do you know why? Because I see him protecting Momma all the time. Uncle 'Tonio is there for her every day, no matter what. They share everything - it's a very special relationship, one that I'm very glad that you'll witness and share in._

 _And even though we might not be as close to my family, and Daddy hasn't gotten a chance to tell them about you yet, but remember that Auntie Christie and Violet will be excited to get to know you. I know that Violet will be always asking about you and when you're going to arrive and when can she look after you? She is going to be an awesome big cousin to you. Smudge, it's because of you that Daddy and Auntie Christie are working on our relationship. I want you to know Daddy's family and Auntie Christie and Violet are going to give you so much love. And I'm extremely excited to tell them all about you soon._

 _Then as an extra special bonus, you have another family too - Momma and Daddy's fire family. They are a very unique family - made up of lots of different people. But they are people who are going to be there for you no matter what. The firehouse will become your second home, just as it is for us. This is our second family, including everyone from Uncle Kelly to Chief to whichever candidate is working for Daddy at the time. Uncle Kelly is Daddy's best friend, and you don't listen to him - Squad is_ _not_ _better than Truck. If you ever join CFD, you remember that you're a truck baby! Not that you have to join the fire department. But don't let Uncle 'Tonio tell you that police officers are better either. He doesn't know what he's talking about._

 _The firehouse is also where Momma and I met, formed a friendship and fell in love. You are so lucky that she is going to be your mother, you are already so cherished Smudge. Momma has_ _already_ _fallen in love with you. And I remember the first time I saw Momma holding a baby. We weren't in the best place together, and I'm sure you will hear many stories about that._

 _So let me be the first one to set the story straight. Momma was working under me on Truck at the time, and Daddy let the job get in the way of everything. I was too worried about how it was all going at work, that I didn't see what was happening with Momma. But that is all in the past. I just can't wait for the future with you in it. The beginning of the next chapter for our little Casey family. I can't promise you that I will always come home to you and Momma, but I can promise you that I will always try my hardest to get home to you both._

 _Anyway - I remember seeing Momma holding this baby, she was a little girl who had been left at 51 in the freezing cold. If I didn't already know it, it was clear right at that moment - Momma walking around with this precious bundle snuggled in her arms. I wanted our family so much - and now you're going to be here before we know it. Momma is going to be the best mother around - you are so lucky. She will do everything in her power to protect you._

 _We've only just told everyone about you and everyone is so thrilled for our family and can't wait for you to be here. I know you are going to be spoilt by them all. You are a much wanted and longed for baby in Momma and Daddy's life. You aren't even here yet and I can't imagine my life without you._

 _Love Daddy._

Matt sighed as he picked up the photo of their 51 family. It was a fairly recent photo; it would have only been taken a few months ago. Folding up the letter, he slipped the photo into the envelope with it. Writing the date on the envelope, he opened his bottom drawer and tucked it away.

He understood that Gabby was scared. To him, it seemed like the whole pregnancy she had been scared in one way or another. From being worried that she was going to miscarry again, to being worried that she wouldn't be able to keep going in her current job. And today he had done the one thing that he had sworn black and blue that he would never do; he had put himself at risk. When she served under him on Truck 81, Matt had gone to extraordinary lengths to make sure that he protected her. No matter how much he told himself and everyone else that he would treat her like any other candidate - he had always found himself in situations where he wanted to protect her, going to any extent to ensure this. And they had lost their way during that period of their relationship - he was so used to having her as someone to confide in for any situation that he had struggled the most with losing her in that sense - it had been harder to discipline her as a candidate no matter what he had originally told her.

And today - he had put himself into a situation where she may have lost him. And it wasn't intentional that he wanted to make her worry. Rather it was a coping strategy that he had had to develop over recent years; he needed to stay in his lieutenant role at all costs. He couldn't have asked any of his men or women to run into that burning building if he himself wasn't willing to it. As a good lieutenant, he would never that, if he wouldn't do it, then he shouldn't expect anyone else to do it either. And he had learnt that he needed to block out the knowledge that Gabby was outside waiting for him to come out. It wasn't fair to any of them… Did he want Gabby to be stuck in this position? One where there was nothing that she would do? Of course not. She herself had learnt to deal with having to wait helplessly outside, knowing that she couldn't do anything to help him… But now it was different for both of them.

For Matt, it was the knowledge that he needed to come home to both her and Smudge, that it wasn't just the pair of them anymore. He wanted to come home safe after every shift. And for Gabby - there was a fear that she could lose her husband - he could die. In the back of every firefighter's mind, in some deep dark corner, was the knowledge that it was a very real possibility that anyone of the firehouse members might not make it home after any given shift. Matt shook his head at that thought - and it was why he had done what he had today, why he made the decision that he did. He couldn't allow himself to think about Gabby or Smudge during any shift, especially during that house call. He couldn't let himself be anything except Lieutenant Casey. Because if he did, he would lose focus, meaning that anything could happen and he would never forgive himself if anything had happened to any one of his company because he was too worried about what could happen to himself, and how that would affect Gabby and Smudge. What their lives would be like if he wasn't around… He couldn't even begin to think about his life if he didn't have Gabby in it.

He just wouldn't take that risk. Matt just needed to re-learn how to walk the line between Lieutenant Casey and Gabby's husband slash Smudge's father. He didn't want to cause Gabby any more fear and anguish. There had been so much anxiety so far in her pregnancy and he just wanted everything to progress smoothly. He knew that this was going to be his new reality - juggling his company duties and being a father. He knew that sometime soon he would have to have a real conversation with Gabby about all of this. But right now he just wanted to avoid having pillows thrown at his head.

 _~ His brain now controls all the muscles in her body; he is able to move. Yes, he'll even do somersaults! ~_

* * *

 **Do let me know what you think!**


	14. Week 16 - Lunch with Family

**Another week and another chapter to update. In relation to my week - I never thought I would be so exhausted to answer questions from prospective parents or have such sore feet from walking them around the school grounds :) Thank you, thank you for all the reviews and conversations that I have had with people about this story. Look we're nearly half-way to meeting Smudge.**

 **Thank you as always to R for absolutely everything x**

 **What a season we've started with, I for one cannot wait to see the next episode!**

* * *

 _~ Candidate is now the size of an avocado_

"This damn door won't open," Gabby grumbled to Matt as she tried to open their back door. "Matt," she hollered, she tried the door again, frustrated at finding it still locked.

Matt hurried over, his bag slung over his shoulder after locking the truck. He stood a few steps back to watch as Gabby struggled with the door. He had to hold in his laughter however when he noticed that she was trying to get the door open using her car key fob. She stood in front of the door, angrily clicking the fob at the door before turning the handle and becoming frustrated when it didn't open. And then the cycle would begin again. Gabby had been showing more and more signs of pregnancy brain over the last week. Matt had always scoffed at the idea of 'pregnancy brain' especially with someone like Gabby who was had a totally 'Type-A' personality, everything was always in order and everything had its place. It was the only way she managed to run their busy schedules and keep up with everything.

However, he had noticed that her ability to concentrate and pay attention to tasks had been affected. Not that she would ever admit it, but she was getting so forgetful that she had had a few instances where she had forgotten what she was talking about halfway through a sentence. Most noticeably during their last shift when she and Herrmann were talking about inventory at Molly's, and isn't was like someone had interrupted her and her flow of thought, rather she had stopped dead and looked confused. Luckily for her, or rather them, Herrmann had filled in the blanks for her in a way that she hadn't taken offence to. But then again Herrmann was the expert in anything pregnancy-baby related, he may just happen not to stick his foot in his mouth as much at the moment, unlike pretty much everyone else.

Whilst Gabby's concentration had been slightly lacking in most areas of her life, the one place that Matt couldn't fault her was at work. He had been watching her at work, and there hadn't been a time that he would be able to pinpoint when she was distracted. At work, during any given call, she was the same old PIC Dawson that she always had been. There was something instinctive about the way she worked as if there was nothing that would ever be able to pull her off of her work. And for that Matt was appreciative, there were enough concerns about this pregnancy that he harboured already - from the fear of history repeating itself to the danger of Gabby's job, not that he would ever put these fears into words, at least not to her.

A stomp on the back step brought Matt back to reality. "Matt," Gabby whined. Matt's head snapped back up to find Gabby tapping her foot impatiently, gesturing at the door. He smiled slightly as he eased the keys out of her hands.

"Here," he said. "This isn't going to work," he motioned to the key fob, "rather try this one," he finished, putting the key into the lock and turning it with ease.

Gabby's face flushed red as she made her way through the door, following the laughter from her husband.

* * *

A sharp rap at the door woke Matt from a light slumber the next morning. He groaned as he woke trying to regain his bearings, glancing down at his watch to find that it was close to lunch time. Casting his mind back, they had had a late night at Molly's the previous night and Gabby had been quite restless during the night. After having the sheets stolen from his side of the bed for the upteenth time, Matt resolved to get up and do some paperwork downstairs. He had gathered some of this said work from the office and settled himself down on the couch with the television on as background noise.

The last thing he remembered was looking up at the wall clock to find that it was already 10am and Gabby still wasn't up and around, well at least not downstairs it seemed. He had been glancing around at all the paperwork that was surrounding him, that had obviously been what had sent him off to the land of nod, heck Matt was yawning again just thinking back about it. The second knock brought Matt to his feet, running a hand through his messy mop as he shuffled towards the door.

"Uncle Matt!" Matt didn't have any time to brace himself for the young blonde whirlwind who came hurtling towards him causing him to stumble back a few steps.

"Violet? Chris?" Matt looked down at his young niece who had wrapped herself around his waist and then back up at his big sister, who had let herself in and closed the front door.

"Uncle Matt… Where is Aunt Gabby? What's for lunch? Is Aunt Gabby cooking? I hope so, she makes the best food," Violet rambled on, all without letting go of her uncle. Matt looked down with a frown on his face.

"Umm…" he stammered, not too sure what was happening in front of him.

"Mom brought her favourite cake for dessert, I guess I can't have that now right?" she continued on.

"Violet?" Christie started, pulling her daughter back slightly. "Hi Matt," she greeted, giving her brother a quick hug. "Thanks for the invite to lunch, feels like quite a while since we've had time to get together…"

"Errr…" Matt continued to stammer. "Violet - Aunt Gabby isn't ready yet, so did you want to head downstairs into the family room? I think the movie that we were watching together last time is still down there. Do you want some help with that?"

"Uncle Matttt, I know how to work the tv," she threw over her shoulder as she bounded down the stairs.

"So Chris? What brings you here?" Matt questioned. "Not that I don't enjoy seeing you and Violet, I just wasn't expecting you."

Christie raised her eyebrows slightly at Matt. "Gabby invited us to lunch last week… She didn't tell you?"

Matt shot her a similarly confused look as he thought back over the last week, trying to work out if Gabby had mentioned anything about the family lunch. How could he have forgotten this? He glanced back and motioned for Christie to follow him into the kitchen in an attempt to find out if he had missed something. He came to a stop in front of their chalkboard to find some of their latest photos missing - there was no ultrasound or photos from their photo shoot with Janine a few weeks ago. Only last week had she sent them the final bunch of photos. He was sure that they were pinned up yesterday, his eyes couldn't have been playing tricks on him! And in any case, why would those photos go missing? Matt furrowed his brow before glancing up and down the board to see if there was any mention of this unexpected lunch guest. But there was nothing; a note about the girls night Gabby was having next week, a reminder to ring Antonio about dinner and generally make sure he was still alive, a groceries list, yet nothing about the Caseys coming to lunch.

Grumbling slightly Matt turned to fully face his sister, "Sorry Chris, I had no idea that you guys were coming for lunch… Not that it's a problem," he hurried to add as he saw Christie open her mouth to interrupt and likely excuse herself. "Nah, it's honestly ok. If you want to make yourself comfortable," he started as he took the cake that Christie was still holding on to placing it on the counter. "I'm just going to find Gabby. Sorry, it's just been a bit of a morning. Plus a couple of crazy shifts at the firehouse and no one has been sleeping well. Figured I would let her sleep it. Sorry about this," he apologised trying to cover for the real reason why Gabby was still upstairs.

Christie waved him off, "Don't worry about it… We can always do this another day if you and Gabby aren't up for it."

Matt gave her a confident look, "No, no, you're here already. I'm sure that it just slipped my mind. Gabby is always telling me things, but if she doesn't write it down then I will gonna forget it. Go - make yourself comfortable and I'll go get my wife," he smiled as he set off towards the stairs.

* * *

"Gabs? Baby?" he called, making his way up towards the master bedroom.

"Matt?" her voice drifted back towards him, quickly meeting him at the threshold of their bedroom. To Matt's surprise, she was pretty much dressed for the day. Recently he had learnt that if Gabby had a late night and then slept in the next day, she tended to end up having a fairly lazy day where she would spend the day in her yoga pants and one of his shirts. Their house had never looked so clean, both the Caseys liked having order in their lives, it was a hangover from their professions. But when Gabby had these types of days she enjoyed cleaning up.

However today, she had on a flowing dress and hair loose around her shoulders. There was a light covering of makeup on her face and a smile graced her face was as wide as Matt had remembered seeing in a while. Matt couldn't help himself, he had to take her into his arms and push her slightly back against the wall as he began to kiss her feverishly.

A few moments later, he pulled back to rest his forehead against hers, trying to catch his breath. "Good morning," she whispered.

"So," he started, leaving his arm around her waist, "did you maybe forget to tell me about a lunch you had organised?"

"Hmmm?" Gabby questioned, easing herself out of his grasp and sitting down on the edge of the bed to think about it. "Not that I particularly remember… But that look on your face Matt, tells me that I forgot something…"

"Christie and Violet are downstairs, something about you organising lunch?"

Gabby let her head fall forward into her hands as she gave the floor a kick. "I can't believe that I forgot about lunch… What am I going to do? Lunch isn't organised and I don't know what I can do for them. We can't send them home, but what are we going to feed them? And what is Christie going to think about this?"

"Hey, hey…" Matt knelt down in front of her taking her hands into his, "Slow down Gabs, what was that?"

"I haven't organised lunch… What is Christie going to think of me? I can't believe I forgot that they were coming to lunch," she looked up somewhat. Matt shook his head slightly, reaching up to brush her hair that had fallen forward back behind her ears.

"It's okay… We can work something out. I know there's plenty of food in the house, they aren't going to starve. Why did you invite them? ...Not that I mind you inviting my family over, it's just not up on the calendar or anything…" he mused.

Gabby shrugged slightly and brushed her hand over her bump, "We need to tell them about the baby. And when better to tell them than over a meal?" It clicked into place for Matt, that's why there had been no photos on the chalkboard. So it had obviously only just slipped her mind last night.

"Come on then," Matt stood and held his hand out to help her up.

* * *

"Hi Christie," Gabby came down the stairs to hug her sister in law.

"Gabs," she smiled, return the hug. Pulling back slightly, Christie wore the 'Casey' smirk as she looked back and forth from her brother to his wife.

Matt had a slightly confused look on his face as he stared at her. Tilting his head slightly with a half smile he questioned, "What?"

"Something you want to tell me little brother?" she asked with a cheeky grin on her face. Still met with confused looks, Christie turned back around to the fridge and swiped a photo off. Gabby had forgotten to take one very important photo off the fridge and now Matt had thrust in his face a photo, one that showed both of them in their uniforms including turnout coats, Gabby's coat had been pulled open and brushed back with Matt's hands resting on her still flat belly.

Matt gurgled, not able to form any words, rather he just looked at Gabby who was also too shell-shocked to say anything. She had been sure she had picked up every piece of evidence around the house, she hadn't been sure how they were even going to tell them, but it certainly wasn't like this. She just stood there, mouth slightly open staring at the Casey siblings.

"Well?" Christie questioned, excitement bubbling through her voice. "Well… Say something Matt…"

"Yeah… Umm… about that…" Matt couldn't believe how lost for words he was. They have done this three times before, how hard was it to string the words together? Especially with his own sister.

"Matthew!" Christie laughed as she pulled her little brother in for a tight hug, "That is wonderful news, I'm so happy for you… It's been a long time coming." Matt pulled back slightly and gave her his standard confused-questioning look. "Oh please Matt, you have wanted kids for years. And everyone knows that you and Gabby are going to be great parents… And you!"

Christie turned, letting go of Matt to face Gabby. She stretched out an arm, allowing Gabby to come to her. "Look at you, you are glowing. If I didn't know before you came down the stairs, I probably would now. You look radiant Gabby," she truthfully told Gabby as she hugged her again.

Gabby waved her off, "Just big you mean?" she joked as she pulled back to look down at herself. Christie scoffed as Gabby tugged at her dress pulling it tight to show off a slight bump. "As if anyone can miss that!"

"As if anyone can notice it, you're looking great! ...So I want all of the news, when did you find out? How many weeks are you? How are you feeling?"

"Chris!" Matt admonished, tugging on her to separate her from his wife. Christie on her part did look sheepish. Gabby just laughed it off.

"It's okay, let me get lunch sorted and I'll tell you all about it. Matt, can you put all the photos back on the board, since the cat's out of the bag? They are in the top drawer of the office desk," she directed. As he wandered off, Christie offered to help get lunch ready. "...Oh, I have to admit I might have forgotten that I invited you both over for lunch… It's not funny Christie," Gabby told her as she started to laugh.

"Sorry, pregnancy brain, I remember that well," Christie comforted her.

"Speaking of that, where is my little munchkin?"

"I'm here Aunt Gabby and I'm not that little," a voice came from behind her. Gabby felt a smile spread across her face as she turned to face her newest niece. She missed seeing Eva and sometimes seeing Violet made it hurt a little less. She understood that Antonio and Laura hadn't had an easy divorce, but it was a little more than hurtful that the rest of the Dawsons didn't get to see Eva and Diego on a more regular basis. And she knew that Matt loved Violet so much. Opening her arms up, Gabby moved to hug Violet. "What's for lunch Aunt Gabby?"

"You're still our little munchkin Violet… And lunch… Hmmm… I'm not sure munchkin. How do chimichurris sound?" Gabby questioned as she looked at what she had in the fridge to offer their guests.

Violet hmmed and scrunched her nose slightly, "What's that?" She was not too sure that she would like anything that sounded that odd.

"They are street burgers that are topped with cabbage and a sweet sauce made with ketchup and mayonnaise," joined in Matt. Violet regarded him for a moment or two before nodding.

"What do you have there Uncle Matt?" she bounded over to him. Matt and Gabby exchanged a glance before Gabby nodded at him encouragingly. He hadn't been prepared himself for the possibility that he was going to have to tell her about the baby, it hadn't even crossed his mind about it at all. If Matt had thought he was stuck earlier with Christie, that was nothing compared to what he was supposed to do with Violet. He gave a slight chuckle to himself, sometimes he forgot how old she actually was, she was no longer that young little girl he always pictured, and she would be in high school before he could blink. Drawing a sharp breath, he plastered a smile on his face. "Can I help with whatever you need to do?" she bounced next to him.

"Sure Violet," he told her as they walked towards the chalkboard. "Aunt Gabby wants some photos back up here and you know that I'm not good at making things look good. Did you want to sort these out for me?" he questioned.

"Sure Uncle Matt," she held her hands out. "Anywhere Aunt Gabby?"

Gabby nodded, trying to keep a neutral face when she had figured out what Matt was trying to do. Leaving Violet to it, the three adults took a step back, watching to see how long it would take Violet to work out what was going on. "So Aunt Gabs," she started before she even looked down at the photos she held, "When are you and Uncle Matt going to give me a cousin?"

Matt gave her a bit of a shocked look, where had that come from? She definitely had the Casey spunk, very few people had ever asked them when they were planning on starting a family. After all the events that they had been through, no one had been game to ask them, everyone just skirted around the issue of kids with them for the fear of upsetting one of them. So he had to share a smile with Gabby when his outspoken niece asked them that question. "Oh, we're not too sure yet kiddo," he answered her, slipping his arm around Gabby's waist, giving it a quick squeeze.

Violet nodded at them, before turning back to her job of sorting out the photos. Starting slowly, she didn't take too much notice of the photos she was putting up. However, when she got to the ultrasound, she slowly turned toward the adults in the room. "Uncle Matt?" she started slowly, watching as both her uncle and aunt gave her an enormous grin.

"How does in about six months for a new cousin sound munchkin?" Gabby asked, laughter dancing in her eyes. Violet's eyes widened as she let the photos fall to the ground and rushed towards the expectant couple. Christie tutted slightly as she made her way over to pick up the photos that were fluttering to the ground. Her face too broke out in a grin as she looked through the photos of her little brother and sister in law.

Matt looked up over Violet's head, who had flung her arms around both himself and Gabby and was currently resting her head against Gabby's little belly, a mere pudge. There was going to be no end to her questions throughout lunch Matt had predicted. He locked eyes with Christie who had held up a photo with the candidate baby shirt, 'Love this one little brother,' she mouthed. Matt smirked slightly as he held them both a little tighter.

* * *

"So Gabby how are you feeling?" Christie asked as the girls settled themselves on the couch downstairs after a long lunch. Matt had been right, Violet had had so many questions for him and Christie had been no better if he was honest. She had received the lion's share of the questioning Casey genes, whereas Matt was much more reserved. The two adults had placed themselves further away from Violet who had occupied herself with another DVD.

Gabby smiled before replying, "It's going well," she nodded. "The nausea that was there for a few weeks, it's gone, except for … I've been having these weird feelings, almost like an unsettled stomach for the past week. I can't pinpoint if it's nausea or heartburn or something else entirely. It's just unpleasant like I've eaten something not quite right. But it comes and goes, here in the morning, not around by the afternoon… So I'm not complaining. Oh, and the whole other thing would have to be pregnancy brain," Gabby laughed. "I can not believe that I forgot to tell Matt that you were coming for lunch!"

"Oh that's nothing, when I was expecting Violet, I went to Walmart for groceries. On my way home I noticed my wedding ring was missing. I freaked out. Did a U-turn and went back to Walmart. I went and spoke to management and they had ALL of their available employees searching for my ring. I had a posse of people searching the parking lot. I made a police report and notified my insurance agent. It was HOT outside and stuff was melting in my car. After an hour or so I went home–defeated, I think I sobbed the whole way home. By the time I got home I was wiped out and I crashed on the couch. Jim finally came home that night and I told him what had happened. I cried again whilst he went up to take a shower. When he came back down he asked for my hand and "asked for my hand in marriage again" and put MY ring back on my finger! I had apparently taken it off to wash my hands, which I never do! And I left it beside my bathroom sink. I had never been so mortified in my life," Christie finished up, laughter bubbling from her.

"I would never have believed that pregnancy brain was even a thing, Laura my ex-sister in law never seemed to display any symptoms of it at all, in either of her pregnancies. She just appeared so put together during the whole thing. So you can imagine my shock and horror when I've forgotten even the most basic things. Matt is lucky that we have food at work because I have forgotten lunch so many times on our days off... So what other exciting stories have you got to share?"

"Well, there was this one time I remember that I bawled like a baby because I couldn't find matching socks. Can you imagine? The sob fest lasted so long that I was late for work. Jim tried to let me wear his socks and then I cried even harder because they weren't MY socks. Look I understand that pregnancy brain is not a medically proven phenomenon, but anyone who has ever been pregnant or lived with a pregnant woman knows it's very, _very_ real. My explanation has always been that the normal blood flow to my brain is being hijacked by my uterus," retold Christie. Gabby smiled hearing these stories, it made her feel just a bit more normal, it wasn't just her that seemed to forget everything. But just one more thing to add to the 'yah pregnant' list.

"I've heard other women say that they have two brains in their body but they've never been so dumb… something about competing for resources and your baby always wins!" Gabby added, this laughter was what she needed today. She had been feeling terrible about everything that had happened over the last week or so about forgetting things left, right and centre.

Matt came down the stairs to see what was happening, and took one look at Gabby's face and smiled. Surveying the scene down in their family room, it warmed his heart as it was nice that he and Christie had finally been able to move on from the simply amicable interactions and were finally able to interact like a family and really enjoy their time together, developing a real sibling relationship - one that Matt had always wanted. It had taken a short while for Gabby to become friends with Christie. Family was important to Gabby, as it was to the entire Dawson family, but as he and Christie weren't as close as the other siblings it had made it harder for the girls too. But here they were chatting and laughing away, yet there was something in Gabby's face, in her eyes that Matt had noticed, it told him that there was something that she needed to get off of her chest.

"Violet," Matt called out, "How does some ice-cream sound? Be just you and me… What do you say? Spend some time with your old Uncle Matt?" Violet looked over at her mother waiting for permission before tearing up the stairs, waiting for Matt to join her. "You two want anything?" On the shake of both heads, he bent down to kiss the top of Gabby's head before following after the young girl.

"So really, how is it all? Is my little brother looking after you?" Christie questioned. Gabby looked her in the eyes, finding comfort in the Casey blues, anyone could tell they were family. Their eyes were so similar, as were their expressions.

"He's been perfect like you said he's wanted this for so long," she admitted. "And it's all going okay. But it's stressful, just the whole work thing… Is that a horrible thing to say?" Watching Christie shake her head, Gabby continued. "I love my job and I love the family that comes along with the firehouse - and I get that life still goes on, it's the working full-time, between the firehouse and Molly's and keeping the home going, not to mention making sure Matt's all up to date with his alderman commitments. Plus I know that I'm not the first person to have a baby, and there are so many more people out there doing it so much tougher than me."

Christie turned to face Gabby as she tucked her foot up and under herself. "You can't think like that Gabby… It's okay to feel what you're feeling. Don't compare yourself to what others might be going through or feel that you aren't allowed to feel what you do. You're dealing with challenging pregnancy hormones and whilst I'd like to think that Matt is helping out in every way he can, you still manage to work 24 hour shifts at a time, which is pretty amazing when you think about it. Apart from work, what is it?"

Gabby gave her an incredulous look, "How did you? ...Never mind, the Casey mind works in weird and wonderful ways. It's just as much as I want this, I'm just stressed about all those big changes that are coming up… What happens with money? How will this change my relationship with Matt? Am I going to be a good mother? Probably not, considering the doubts I'm already having. Matt has just got this whole thing under control already and here I am, freaking out," she grumbled.

"Having worries does not make you a bad mother Gabby… And I'm sure Matt is having the same thoughts as you, he just hasn't said anything yet. Every parent does, I did. But keep it in perspective Gabby - you and Matt are expecting a baby, that's a pretty wonderful experience. Yes it's life changing, and it's very hard to worry about the things that are out of your control - but the stress isn't good for your health or the baby's either. Try and find some time to relax, something that is just for you, I don't know… Read a book or watch TV, just put your feet up and tune out the rest of the world. Just try and keep everything in perspective. Remember you're not alone in this either."

Gabby gave her a tight smile as she reached over to hug Christie. These were the days that she missed having Laura around, having her Mama back in Chicago was a godsend, but she missed her ex-sister in law. But it seemed to her that Christie was filling the job well.

In the back of Christie's mind was to remember to give Matt a heads up about this - it was important that they were there for each other during this time, and she knew that is was all going to work itself out.

 _~ She can make a fist and even suck her thumb_ _. She's also listening to your voice, thanks to tiny bones forming in her ears ~_

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed this week's update. Let me know what you think ~Em**


	15. Week 17 - Girls' Night Out

**Still trying to recover from the awesomeness that was this week's episode! Two of my Year 9 students were so excited about it this afternoon, all they wanted to do was talk about it rather than hear my Math lesson. It was a long last period today trying to keep them on task.**

 **Thank you for all of your reviews, always a pleasure to read what people are thinking of the story so far. To Chicago Lover - Sorry I can't reply to your review personally, but thank you for your long review and I'm glad that you're enjoying the long chapters. Thank you so much for your kind words.**

 **And of course to R - thank you so much for having such a quick turn around this time - I am so looking forward to your next chapters.**

 **This chapter contains one of my favourite lines yet - let me know what you think it might be. Happy reading ~Em**

* * *

 _~ Candidate is now the size of a pear ~_

"How do you think Brett and Kidd will take it if I cancel on tonight's girls' night?" Gabby mused from her spot on the lounge down in the family room as she watched Matt restock their drinks cart and fridge downstairs. When Gabby had mentioned that she was having a girls' night with the firehouse girls, Matt had decided that he and Severide were going to get together and watch the game. However, discussions in the house had been overheard and it had somehow turned into Cruz and Otis inviting themselves over for a poker night. At her last count, she believed that her house was being invaded by not only Severide, Cruz and Otis, but also Antonio and Borrelli, possibly even Herrmann - she wasn't too sure how her brother had ended up on the invite list to a fire thing. She was shaking her head at the thought of it, well as long as Matt cleaned up after them she didn't care. That and he needed to keep it downstairs.

"Hmmm?" came the distracted reply.

"I _said_ , do you think the girls would mind if I cancelled on tonight?" she repeated.

"Why?" Matt replied without looking up from the job at hand. Gabby could tell that he was distracted, could hear it in his voice. The poor man, not only was he dealing with his firefighting job, but also his alderman job; he was only halfway through his term and whilst Gabby was pleased he had run and won the job, there was a part of her that would be glad when it was all over. She dearly hoped that he wasn't planning on serving another term, between the 24 hour shifts and any political commitments that he had to attend it felt like he was always busy with something. Last month, in October alone, he had had two city council meetings, not to mention three, no wait four finance meetings, not that he had managed to make it to all of them. She had advised him originally to possibly not join the finance committee, but Matt had heard none of it and there had been talk of him also joining the public safety committee. Gabby was actually tired just thinking about it, but she was grateful that not every meeting was at night, that way Matt wasn't gone every night off.

She on other hand had started to move more of the Molly's responsibilities onto Kidd and Otis, and she was also trying to get Herrmann to ease up. After all, he had a wife and five children at home, it wasn't fair to have him working all hours at Molly's, no matter how much he kept telling everyone that it was fine. Gabby had decided not long after she and Matt had married that she would take on more the paperwork and business side of the work. Rather than being at the bar every other night of the week, she brought home most of the paperwork, all of which had worked in her favour after she fell pregnant since she had struggled to stay awake until late at night. She wasn't opposed to doing a shift or so a week, just not as many as she used to, it was a routine that they had begun to develop when they had first started fostering Louie. And with Smudge on way, this was becoming the new norm.

"Gabs?" Matt prodded after she hadn't spoken for a few moments.

Gabby turned her head slightly to look over her shoulder at Matt, who had made his way over to the couch, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Just not feeling up to seeing anyone," she confessed.

"Gabby Dawson? Not up to seeing people?" he joked. "You never turn down a chance to see your girls…"

"And that Gabby Dawson does not exist at the moment, most likely gone forever... and this Gabriela _Casey_ is busy growing a baby," she replied leaving a hand resting a hand on her stomach.

Matt frowned slightly, she hadn't ever really made a big deal about her name. Truth be told, as much as he loved that she had taken his name, made him swell inside, there was an awful lot of the time when she was just Gabby Dawson to him. It was just muscle memory, so he had been a touch confused at her emphasis on the Casey name. Either way, it had pushed a button somewhere deep down and caused him to stop whatever it was he had planned on doing and he slipped down next to her on the couch.

"Hey, what's going on?" he questioned, brushing a stray strand of hair out of her eyes, leaving his fingers resting on her shoulder.

"I'm just too tired to go out and actually have fun with the girls. The effort just isn't worth going to get ready and find something that looks good and everything like that. Plus, they're going to be drinking and all of that and I don't have the energy for keeping up with them, especially with Stella when she's had a few…" Gabby grumbled.

Matt pondered what he could actually tell her. He didn't want to tell her what to do, that would never work, rather he knew it would be better to lead her to a decision that she would make for herself. But at the same time, he didn't want her to spend her entire pregnancy staying at home avoiding people because it was too much effort, that just wasn't Gabby.

"But wouldn't it be better to see the girls now, sooner rather than later? Not that I'm an expert, but I'm sure neither of us is going to feel like seeing anyone that much when Smudge arrives…" Gabby raised her eyebrows at him, since when did Matt know so much about everything, she had the distinct feeling that she was being pushed in a certain direction. "I know that you probably don't feel like it right now…"

"Oh you know, do you?" came the sarcastic reply.

"Right… So you might not feel like going out right now, but once you do you'll probably be glad you made the effort…" Matt tried to find a way out of the situation he had currently found himself in, knowing that if he wasn't careful Gabby was likely to blow at him.

Gabby scrutinised him for a moment or two, just letting him sweat for a minute. She knew exactly what was going through his head, "Open mouth, remove the foot, Matt." He looked at her sheepishly before he leant forward to capture her lips. "Yes, that works too," she breathed hard trying to catch her breath after he pulled back.

"What if I call Sev and we move poker night to his place. You and the girls can do something here? C'mon Gabs, you mentioned something about Brett and wanting to talk to her outside of the house. Digging for something right?" He stopped at Gabby shaking her head at him moving poker night, it was his turn to have it at their place. They had the biggest place by far and yet they still hadn't hosted the fire family for anything over the time that they had lived in this house.

"Something isn't right with that girl… There's a mask going on at certain points of the work day. I think it's more than just me leaving ambo in the coming months, but that's what she is telling me it is."

"So," Matt interrupted. "Don't you want to work out what is really going on with her?"

Gabby shook her head at him, "Look at you, anything to either get me out of the house or at least out of your hair." She continued to eye him for a second, studying the subtle movements he was making. "Wait… No, it's not that at all, you just want gossip," she accused.

Matt tried in vain to fob her off, but in all honesty, he was worried about what was going to happen in the house. A few years ago the house had gone through so many changes, it had been stable with Gabby and Shay for many years. So when Shay died the following years had seen much movement, not only on Ambo but within the entire house. So knowing that Gabby would be making a move off of Ambo in the next few months, he knew how important it would be to find out how Brett was feeling about it. She would be the most affected, and he was really hoping that it would be a smooth transition.

"How about we both stay here then?" he tried again, still trying to steer her off the topic of him wanting to gossip. "I can have the boys upstairs, we can use the dining room… Leave you girls to lounge down here," Matt compromised.

"Uhh," Gabby raised her eyebrows, "How about you boys play down here and we stay up there? Down here, you have the alcohol, restroom and plenty of space. Plus if the boys need to crash, there's a bedroom here…"

"You mean if Kidd and Sev need to crash here," he joked. "You know it's going to be them!" Gabby hummed at him, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of being right, but still agreeing with him. "So I'll finish up down here and the upper level is all yours."

"How much time do we have before people turn up?" Gabby questioned as she scooted over to him, crawling into his lap. Matt gave her a slight smirk, his eyes darting around looking at what else he needed to do. Letting the smirk turn into a full blown grin he dipped down to kiss her. Adjusting herself in his arms she deepened the kiss, moaning slightly, enjoying the feeling of his arms wrapping around herself, pulling her tight. Her hands slipped underneath his shirt to rack her nails over his back muscles, digging them into his warm taut skin slightly, whilst he cradled her face in his hands.

Groaning against her lips softly, Matt gathered her up in his arms and almost effortless stood up without breaking their kiss. Gabby pulled back, breathless, trying to catch her breath, "How did you..?"

"Firefighter Baby!" he whispered in her ear huskily. Gabby allowed herself a moment to admire her husband's body, those arms of his were amazing. Wrapping her arms around his shoulder, she started to play with the short hair at the nape of his neck. Everything was feeling amplified due to the pregnancy, and right now there was only one thing on her mind.

She wasted no time attacking his lips as he took a step forward, "I can... think of... I do... believe there… is something... else we could... be doing... right now..." she murmured against his lips in between kisses. Matt gave a deep throaty chuckle as he started towards their room.

* * *

"Who's ready to party all night?" Stella shouted as Gabby opened the door to reveal her and Sylvie waiting to head out on the town. Craning slightly she could also make out Severide hanging about with a case of beer in his hand. "Umm Dawson, clothes?"

Gabby looked down at what she was wearing - it consisted of yoga pants and one of Matt's old CFD shirts. She was in that in between stage of not needing maternity clothes, but at the same time not fitting into her own regular clothing. She was just wearing a larger size uniform now, that's all the department was able to provide her with for the moment. But since she had made the decision to stay in she hadn't really seen the need to be getting dressed up. Plus the clothes she would normally have worn out with the girls didn't fit her so well anymore. Yet both girls were dressed for a night on the town.

"Yeah, not really up for the whole night out thing! I just can't carry my sorry butt out for it… I did try and call," she defended. "Not my problem if you're too loved up to answer!"

Severide laughed as he carefully pushed past. "She's got a point Stel."

"How did it get to my sex life so fast?" Stella questioned as she followed Gabby and Sylvie into the kitchen.

"Everything's about your sex life Stella Kidd," threw Gabby over her shoulder. "So ladies, drinks and food in there?" Gabby pointed through to the living room, "The boys are playing poker downstairs… Now I'm sure you've both got a change of clothes in the car… C'mon. Go grab something comfy and meet me in there."

Stella gave a mock groan, shook her head at Gabby's smiling face and huffed. "Come on mermaid, let's do this!" she spoke as she grabbed Sylvie's hand and dragged her towards the front door.

Gabby smiled, perks of being a first responder, they seemed to carry a change of clothes in the car - just in case.

A short while later the three girls had curled up on the couches that sat in the Casey's living room, Gabby with her juice, Stella a beer and Sylvie with a white wine, empty plates sat scattered around the coffee table.

"You know Dawson," Stella drawled. "This wasn't a bad idea… You know, the pregnant one has good ones every now and then…"

"Yeah, we can actually talk," Sylvie commented, "without the need to shout over all the music."

"Or fending off men for Brett!" quipped Stella. Gabby stopped momentarily as she watched the young paramedic's face fall. Something didn't seem quite right here.

"Hey, mermaid - what is going on with you in that department? We haven't heard about anyone new recently," Gabby asked.

"I just can't find the right person and it's just getting me down I guess," she started, knowing that the girls were around her, she just needed, to be honest. "You know what it's like - everyone thinks that it's easy 'Hey, you're around all of these hot guys all the time, it must be easy to find someone.' And that's all I seemed to hear when I went back to visit my parents a few months ago. Yeah, sure, there are women who have met their perfect match, dated flawlessly, gotten married, made several babies and lived happily ever after. It happens, it really does. Look at the two of you…"

"You Miss Brett, you know hard it was for Matt and I… There was no dating flawlessly, there was messy dating and plenty of problems. Hell, I could probably even blame the job for that huge breakup," Gabby insisted.

"But you found your way back together… And then there's you and Severide," she turned her attention towards Stella.

Stella held her hands up in defence, "Whoa, don't look at me. My marriage ended in divorce... And Kelly."

"That wasn't the job, that was the crazy man you married," Gabby interjected laughing along with the others. "Sylvie, our job isn't an easy one and dating is complicated. It takes a special man to date a first responder. It's likely why Matt and I work, no it's not only because he's special Stella," Gabby quickly told her, watching Stella open her mouth, likely to make some stupid comment. "One of the reasons we work is that we understand each other's job. We work together and understand what the other goes through."

Sylvie took a deep breath, thinking about whether she really wanted to say what she was feeling, would it just be easier to let the girls tease her. But it was all cutting her deep, in a way that she hadn't ever thought it would. But as she watched as Gabby somewhat absent mindedly caressed her belly, she felt another wave of jealousy course through her and she couldn't hold back what she thought. "And then it's the fact that _Miss_ Brett," Sylvie complained with an emphasis on the Miss. "Nothing ever seems to be coming together. Yeah, I've got this fantastic job, great friends and a life in Chicago, but when will it be my time?" she questioned gesturing at Gabby who quickly removed her hand, bring it down to rest in her lap. "Look, it's really nothing," she brushed off, looking down into her wine glass.

Gabby frowned, she had had no idea that Sylvie ever felt like that. Sylvie had been on dates and although it hadn't always worked well, she had seemed to pick herself back up and just be her normal cheery self. Gabby was beginning to think that she had missed the mark on being a good friend.

Leaning over, she grasped tightly onto Sylvie's cold hand. "No don't brush it off as nothing. Sylvie - you never said anything… What is it you're really feeling? Don't just fob me off again."

Sylvie bowed her head, willing the tears away. She had tried so hard to push down the jealousy that had once again appeared. Two weeks ago, she remembered sitting in the back of the Ambo, almost ready to speak her mind about what she felt, never mind the consequences. Yet here she was, scared of what Gabby might say to her if she truly spoke about what she thought, and what Stella would think of her, with her petty jealousy. What was it that she wanted from Gabby's life, was it the happiness of a family and a husband? Or was it something more specifically hers that she craved? Stella moved backwards slightly, knowing that this was between the two paramedics. Whilst she had been taken into their little friendship circle, she wasn't kidding herself that it wasn't going to take more time for Brett to open up with her there.

Gabby for her part, squeezed Sylvie's fingers offering what little support that she could. "Whatever it is Sylvie, we're here for you," she earnestly spoke. Brett looked up at her, tears pooling in her wide blue eyes. But how could Gabby understand… It just wouldn't be right to say to your best friend that you are jealous of her life, especially when it had been a hard and long road to even arrive at where she was now.

* * *

"And if it was a case that I could just find someone on the job and that be it, then one of my relationships should have worked out," Brett grumbled, taking a sip of her third wine an hour or so later.

"And those were with?" Stella prodded, not having heard about the string of men that Sylvie had been with since she had moved to Chicago.

"Well," Gabby jumped in, grinning at the blonde, "Who has there been… There was Cruz, that lasted a while, then there was Otis who had a crush on you for months - Matt laughed about that for at least a week. There was also Severide," Gabby laughed as Stella's mouth dropped open slightly.

"Oh no, Stella honestly, nothing happened."

"Yeah, just he would have married her if she had actually gone to Vegas with him," joked Gabby. "And then there was that police officer, what was his name? Umm… Sean Roman… Actually, Sylvie, there have been a lot of first responders in there…" Gabby joked as she reached over to hug the paramedic who had gone slightly red. "You know I love you."

"There was more… wasn't there?" Stella questioned, staring her right in the eye. Sylvie minutely shook her head, not willing to give up any more information. "C'mon girl, you can't hold out on us now…" she kept prodding,

"Theremighthavebeenjimmy," mumbled Sylvie averting her eyes.

"Sorry?" Stella kept on with her.

"There might have been something with Jimmy."

"Jimmy? As in Borelli?" screeched Stella.

"Keep it down," hissed Sylvie. "Nothing actually happened… I just may have seen him in the laundry room just before Stella started with us, you remember when they transferred him off of Truck? And I may have mentioned how sorry I was to see him leaving, and that I had a big 'thing' for him, had one since he first arrived at 51," she muttered

"I'm sorry what?" Gabby questioned, eyes wide open. She could hardly believe her ears, how had this happened right under her nose and she had completely missed it?

"In my defence," Sylvie protested, "I was in a bad place, Chilli had been fired and then there was that douche of a paramedic partner that I had and to top it all off Jimmy was leaving. It was just a heat of the moment thing… I never thought I was going to have to keep working with him. And then nothing ever came of it. Told him I wanted to pretend it never happened," she confessed. "I just had to work with him."

"Ever consider him again?" Stella asked, curious to see what the answer might hold.

"Oh no… No, no, no, no! The last thing our house needs is yet another in-station romance. Man, how often to they work? Present company excluded," she clarified. "As hard as it is to find someone, better someone out of the whole CFD," she emphatically clarified.

"You know there is a heap of problems when guys start dating us first responders," started Gabby, "We could write a book on it… Things that you have to understand to date a female first responder," she laughed.

"Oh, I can start that one," Stella responded. "We know that men are manly, but whoever dates us has to learn that you do not have to be "manlier" than we are. Man, can this be complicated? Tread lightly men! It all comes back to we work in a man's world and because of that, we have had to adapt accordingly to that. Men struggle with this so much. You know what we're like girls? We're that tom-boy who everyone knew growing up, and now we're 'her' all grown up."

Sylvie took another sip of her wine, "Or you know that 'look' you get when you want to carry everything on your own," she started. The girls around her nodded.

"Hey, I'm all for it at the moment," Gabby interjected. "But it drives me mad how Matt always needs to carry my work bag in for me… Like hey, I can carry 60 pounds of fire gear, but he still insists on carrying everything for me."

"Hey, if you can teach Kelly some of that… that would be great. You know, just sometimes. I spend every day proving how tough, how competent, how determined, how capable and how in control I can be. But just a touch of chivalry would be nice," Stella included.

"But in this book that we're writing for my future man..." stopped Sylvie. "I want them to know that I'm not some little princess. The sheer thought of doing something perceived as a 'man task' for me just because they need to feel better about themselves and 'prove' themselves… No, thank you very much… So what else are we including this handbook?" she laughed. She wasn't sure what it was, but this conversation was definitely helping her feel a bit better about her situation. Perhaps it was knowing some of the ways that her job affected her life was actually a blessing. These were the little things that were changing her life.

"What you girls gossiping about?" floated across Severide's voice, nosing in on the conversation as he made his way across the floor to the trio.

"Kelly!" Stella screeched. "How much of that did you hear?"

"And what is it that you even need Severide?" questioned Gabby. "Didn't Matt take everything down there?"

"Wow!" Severide took a step back from the glares from all three women. "Grabbing some snacks," he mentioned whilst swiping Stella's beer to take a swig. Stella only shook her head waiting for it back. "Anddd I'm going again," he motioned back downstairs with a thumb before placing a quick hard kiss on Stella's lips.

"That is the next entry in your book," Stella commented as she watched her partner saunter down the stairs. "We have guy friends and LOTS of them. Your future man needs to understand that we live with them, eat with them, sleep in the same house as them, we have their back and they have ours. We are a team and a family. That's hard for any man. Even if Grant was unhinged, he was always going to struggle with all the guys I worked with."

"And it's not only at the house," included Gabby. "We see a lot of them. They are our brothers, partners, fathers and best friends."

"Even our husbands," quipped Stella

Gabby gave her a look, "Especially at Firehouse 51, we are together for 24 hours a shift and then again in our off time. We laugh, cry and experience mind blowing things together. Whoever steals your heart Sylvie, they are gonna have to be secure and trusting or the relationship isn't going to make it," Gabby honestly told her.

"Oh and as a paramedic… I don't want to be anyone's mommy… No offence Gabs."

"No offence, I refuse to be my husband's mommy… This little one here," she commented pointing at her belly.

"That's another matter, right?" Sylvie supplied as she brushed a hand over the swell. Little by little she was making peace with the jealousy that had been overtaking her entire being over the last few weeks.

Stella, on the other hand, had no desire to be anyone's mommy, but that was something that she was intent on keeping to herself. There was no need to change the mood of the conversation. Each time they had a girls night, it would be one of their turns to be honest and this time it would be Sylvie, and Stella had decided that she wasn't doing anything to interject over the top of all of the things that Sylvie needed to get off her chest. But for a moment, she allowed her mind to wander, what would it be like? She knew that she would adore the new Casey baby and that was about it, it just wasn't something that she could see in her future. Firefighting - that was her future.

"And, forgot about being needy," Stella said, trying to shake the thoughts from her head. 'Just keep moving Stella' she told herself.

"Needy?" Sylvie questioned confused. Stella wasn't making any sense at all.

"You know the type, the one who gets anxious and stressed when you don't reply to their text messages within in two minutes, they aren't the right one for you. If their perfect girl is the type who calls, texts, snapchats,"

"Snapchat?" Gabby laughed. "Seriously?"

Stella ignored her and kept going, "FB updates her every move, thought and breath? The girl who will answer your text, call or IM the moment you send it? Then they won't be the right one for any first responder. I remembered needing to tell Grant that he might not get a reply for hours or an entire day."

Gabby nodded along, "Even though Antonio is a detective, when I first started at 51 after coming from a much quieter house on the other side of the city it was a shock. We're the house that the calls tend to be coming in back to back, I had to tell him there is a priority system we have in place – Pee, Eat, Chart, Pee again then maybe you'll get a short response… He'd get all cranky that I hadn't responded to him... And he is my brother… Speaking of needing to pee," Gabby moved off to relieve herself, grumbling as she went.

"What is it really?" Stella questioned as Gabby disappeared from sight. "It's more than what you're saying girl, I can see it."

"Is it wrong to be jealous of Gabby?" whispered Sylvie. Stella's eyebrows raised up so high that Brett thought they might hit her hairline. After a moment or two, she hung her head in embarrassment, sniffing quietly. Stella sidled up next to the blonde woman and carefully removed the glass from her hands, before wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"Why?"

"I know it hasn't been easy for her. But I look at her, and I look around this house… And I want it… Heck, I even look at Casey and don't get me wrong I feel incredibly stupid for saying this… But I watched them at roll call the other week, and the way that he looks at her, the way that he holds her close. The excitement in his eyes and voice when anyone brings up their baby. Just knowing that she has him to come home to…" she trailed off almost speaking to herself, looking up at one of the many wedding photos that were hung in this house.

"Sylvie… The lieutenant… he's… he's off limits... and she's a friend… And..." Stella cautiously started, not sure which way to take this new piece of information that had fallen into her lap. What was it that she wanted from life? The guy or the type of man?

"No!" Sylvie was quick to retort. "Not Casey personally, just the idea of a special person to come home to. Look you don't need to tell me how hard their road has been. But have you seen them together? Nothing comes before Gabby in his eyes, nothing is too much. And now they have this precious gift… And I hate that I'm even thinking it, but I'm insanely jealous of them…"

"Syl - it's not about the end goal. You can't rush to it, it's the journey that takes us to that goal that makes our life."

"I know. And I don't know where this has all come from, but I can't help what I'm feeling…"

"You need to talk to Gabby, or this is going to eat you alive Sylvie. You can't help what you feel. And I know that it's not something that you can help or hide. Look, I don't get it, but Gabby won't hate you… Talk to Gabs about it…"

"Talk to Gabby about what?" drifted along said voice.

"Oh," Stella scrambled to think of what to fill the gap with, knowing that she wouldn't be asking if she had heard more of the conversation. That just wasn't Gabby's style, she'd tackle it head on. "Talk to Gabby about the medic stories and how you guys share them all the time… Like _all_ the time."

Gabby scrutinised the two ladies in front of her for a moment before taking a seat opposite them, deciding that whatever it really might have been that they were talking about, Sylvie would come out with it sooner or later. No point pushing now. "Yeah, the guy in your life needs to be used to you talking about work all the time. Plus, they need an iron stomach. We need our guys to be someone we can lean on, so they need to be able to take any of our stories - like that one about having to amputate the guy's leg after that storage unit fell on him, or getting caught in a rotary mower? There are blood and bones and everything else."

She took a deep breath thinking back to earlier in her career before she had arrived at 51, "There was this one guy a few years ago… I think men are very attracted to the strong, confident, independent women of both of our fields, that is until they get deeper into the relationship. So then there was this pivotal point in our very short relationship where suddenly he wanted me to become well, more of a girly-girl. He actually thought that I was going to change into some submissive/subservient girl for him. Well, let me tell you he was in for an uphill battle."

"And it will be the same with you, Sylvie," added Stella. "You're strong and independent, don't ever apologise for that."

Sylvie thought about it for a moment, "I know that life's not like any romance novel that I love to read, but I just wish that it would happen… When will it be my time?"

"What I'm about to say isn't going to help you right now chickie," Gabby started as she moved over to sit on the other side of Sylvie. "But when you find the right person, it's just going to be right. You'll find the perfect fit, a guy who will walk right next to you and support you. He'll understand us and the job. Because of the deep bond we share, we will put our lives on the line to protect each other, it comes from the situations we share. It's like no other job in the world. Our shifts can hold anything when we step onto the apparatus floor at the start of a day... anything might and can happen. A day that might include life changing incidents, with every chance that we will watch someone take their last shaky breath or even their first breath ever."

"We know that life is short," Stella mentioned. "And as a consequence, once we let someone into our lives emotionally, it becomes a very close bond with them."

"And that's hard to do," Gabby told her, pulling her close for a hug. "It will come, Sylvie. Don't give up on love. I know that there is someone out there for you, the right someone. And when you meet him, you'll just know it. But enjoy the ride it will take you on."

* * *

Gabby sighed as sat down on the couch to watch Kidd disappear down the stairs to find Severide after the Caseys had farewelled the rest of their friends. Matt had been correct in his earlier prediction in that Severide and Kidd had crashed downstairs, Gabby had thought of just making it their room. Chuckling to herself slightly, she looked up to find Matt standing behind her. "Bed?" he questioned.

"I'll just clean up here," she commented gesturing at glasses that lay empty on the coffee table in front of them.

"Leave them," he whispered as he carefully leant down to pick her up bridal style and started towards the other set of stairs.

Gabby gave him a slight smile as she leant her head against his strong chest, "I could get used to this, you carrying me around everywhere," she told him as she took in his scent.

"Get used to it Baby… I'd do it forever," he told her, placing him gently on the bed. "I love having you in my arms," he continued pulling her closer, before dipping his head down level to her belly, "I'll protect you and Smudge with everything I have. And I can't wait to have you in my arms either."

 _~ He has hiccupped before, but this is the first time you might feel it ~_

* * *

 **So I'm at the end of my bank of chapters - So I'm trying to stay ahead about a week or so of the actual posted chapter. Wish me luck, hopefully, I'll still be able to post once a week.**


	16. Week 18 - Pillows

**Well, what a week... But let's not dwell on that.**

 **Thank you to all of the lovelies who I heard from this week, I received a few messages just letting me know how they saw themselves or understood what Brett was going through in the last chapter. Thank you - it made me feel like I was able to make a connection with people and they were able to make personal connections with the characters. To each of you who I spoke to this week - I know you deserve all the happiness that will come your way. And Coconut - I can't reply to you personally, but no I don't believe that I will ever bring in the Brettonio relationship into this story :)**

 **To Rebecca - you all cannot believe what a godsend this lady is. She edits for me for every chapter and this week managed to turn this chapter around in record time, in just a few days. And not only is she a fantastic beta and an awesome writer, she's become a very good friend who will listen to everything I need to vent. Plus she lets me know when I've used Australian phrases that I would never know of otherwise. Thank you R**

* * *

 _~ Week Eighteen ~_

 _~ Candidate is now about the size of a sweet potato ~_

Herrmann hurried through the house intent on find one thing, or rather a person. He figured if he was quick enough he would be able to catch the parents before the shift started.

"Anyone seen Dawson?" he questioned the group sitting in the common room, many of them eating breakfast. Everyone shook their heads causing Herrmann to look down at his wristwatch. The Caseys were cutting it close to shift starting. "Brett," Herrmann spun around to catch the blonde paramedic walking past. "Seen Dawson?"

"Umm…" Brett pondered for a moment looking around. "Chief said that they might be running a bit late this morning. Casey had rung him, but they should be here soon."

"Lieutenant!" Herrmann called, brushing past Brett calling out to Casey.

"You're welcome," mumbled Brett not loud enough for anyone else to hear.

"Casey, where's Dawson?" Herrmann questioned as he reached him out on the apparatus floor. Matt motioned with a thumb behind himself. Herrmann stretched to look over Casey's shoulder to see Dawson dragging her feet into the house yawning almost continually. "You know that you are supposed to let her sleep at night Lieutenant…"

"Herrmann," Casey started warningly. "Those showers…" he trailed off.

"Stop it, Matt," Dawson ordered as she finally reached them. "Morning Herrmann. It's just a sore back keeping me from getting a good sleep at night," she complained slightly.

"And Cindy has something for that," announced Herrmann, "C'mon" he led them towards the locker room. Casey gave Dawson a small smile before grabbing her bag from her and motioning for her to continue on after Herrmann.

By the time that they had made it into the locker room Herrmann was struggling with something white, trying to remove it from his locker.

"What have you got there Herrmann?" Casey questioned.

"Something from Cindy and I. I'm under orders from the missus to pass this on," he commented as he finally wrestled what looked like a pillow from his locker.

"Is that a pillow?" Casey questioned confusingly.

"It's a body pillow. Cindy swore by it during the last three pregnancies. She was rattling something off about it being comfortable and supportive. Give her a ring, she'll explain it all…" he trailed off as he handed the pillow off to Casey.

With wide eyes, Casey accepted the proffered item, "How did you even get this into your locker Herrmann?"

Dawson smiled with tears in her eyes, touched that Herrmann and Cindy would have thought about something like this. It was nothing that she would have even thought of buying for herself. Every time she thought she had this pregnancy gig under control, something would smack her square in the face. "Thank you Herrmann, that's so sweet," she blubbered pulling the older firefighter in for a hug.

"Aww geez, don't need to cry about it Dawson," he joked gently pulling back slightly to look at the woman, "Just a pillow!"

Matt turned the pillow over in his hands, it just looked like a giant sausage. He glared slightly thinking of the amount of pillows that were already on their bed. Gabby had taken to sleeping with three or four of them in the last week or so. And it seemed that his side of the bed was shrinking each night.

"I'm going to try this out now!" Dawson announced taking the pillow from Matt's grasp.

"Gabs, you can't nap now," Casey explained to no avail.

"Not a nap, just testing the pillow out," Dawson replied.

"No NAP!" Casey called out after her, it reminded him of how life was when they still had Louie - it would have been something that he would have yelled. Herrmann chuckled as he watched Dawson scamper down the hallway, pillow in hand. She looked left, then right quickly before slipping into Casey's office and closing the door behind her. "Not that that's my office or anything," he mumbled under his breath.

"So Lieutenant, here's the thing about that pillow. Say goodbye to any room you may have had in the bed. That thing's a monster," Herrmann grumbled, remembering what it was like to share a bed with the pillow and a pregnant wife.

Casey sighed as rubbed a hand over his face, tapping his cheek. Herrmann laughed, clapped him on the shoulder and made his way out in search of food.

* * *

It had been a relatively quiet shift for Firehouse 51 Second Watch, although no one had made mention of it for the fear of jinxing it. Once again Dawson was seated at the long table watching the house move around her, a hand lying absentmindedly on her belly. As quiet as it was, the house occupants all seemed busy with one thing or another. Casey on the other hand was sitting in his office, just catching up on some reading, having foregone his usual coffee and newspaper routine. Herrmann had been teasing the man that it was rare not to see him eating something and obviously something was wrong along with a raspy laugh.

In his office, Matt glared at the papers surrounding him. It had taken him a fair while longer than he had originally planned, but finally he was putting his signature on the last report. Only 20 minutes ago had he watched Severide fling his own office door shut with a groan. He was going to be in there for the long haul too Matt mused. Sighing he tossed his pen away, flexing his aching wrists out in an attempt to ease the ache that had set in from the writing.

His ears pricked up as he heard the familiar click of the speakers turning on, alerting him that a call was coming mere seconds before the tones went off. Anytime it was quiet around the place and he was just in the moment, he would hear the click. Not every time, but after a number of years in a firehouse and hearing it happen that he was now tuned into it, so much so that he could hear it over the low rumble of the working house. He was actually up and out of his office before the tones had actually blown.

Pulling his suspenders over his shoulders, he shot Dawson a 'take care look' before climbing into his own rig and ordering Otis to move out.

Pulling up to an apartment building, it stuck Casey that there was a distinct lack of smoke or flames. Jumping out of the truck, he looked around for Boden, who himself was getting out of his own vehicle. There was a crowd who were gathering in the front yard of the building and also a number of people in the space between the building in question and the next, all of which caught Casey's eyes. There didn't seem to be any cause for the firehouse to be in attendance. Nothing out of the ordinary apart from the crowds of people.

Severide came to a standstill next to him, "You smell that?" he questioned. Casey paused to sniff the air trying in vain to see if there was something else out of the norm that he could use as an explanation.

"Chief?"

Boden hadn't even been able to open his mouth to speak when the top story of the building's windows blew out.

"Oh that is bad," muttered Herrmann from his position next to the truck. Casey locked eyes with his chief, who nodded.

"Otis, raise the aerial - see what you can find from the top. Kidd, you and Mouch vent the building," he ordered. "Herrmann, you meet me at the top and we'll work our way down," he turned to look at the older firefighter who nodded in confirmation.

"Casey - I'll send Squad in too. You go left and we'll go right."

As he reached the front door of the building, Casey did one final look upwards and discerned that noticeable flames had erupted closer to the windows, making them visible to the eyes of the crowds below. Obviously, the fire had started nearer to the heart of the building.

At that moment Dawson and Brett pulled up in their rig and Dawson watched closely as she noticed the back of Casey's jacket disappear into the building. As normal she felt her breath catch in her throat, rationally she knew that the likelihood of something actually happening to him was minimal, but that fact never stopped her blood pressure from rising just a little bit more when she was on scene with him. Actually, she was beginning to feel that same worry that he had spoken about feeling when she was moving on to Truck, there had never been a feeling like this before. Getting out of her own rig, she pulled her jacket around herself tighter.

Turning to her left she saw Brett waiting expectantly. "Let's go. Grab a bag. And we'll go find out what's happening from the Chief," she ordered. However, something stopped her in her tracks as she reached the side door. Something didn't feel quite right, she couldn't put her finger on what exactly it was, but something felt weird. It was almost like she had butterflies in her stomach. She reasoned with herself for a flash, it wasn't the first time she had experienced butterflies since Casey had reminded Herrmann that he had Cindy at home, ever since that incident, that they had managed to sweep under the carpet, Dawson had been more uneasy watching Casey do his job.

Feeling the butterflies for a second time, the more she thought about it, a look of worry flashed over her face - one that Brett caught. "Everything okay Dawson?"

Dawson nodded in reply. Turning to shield herself behind the open door, she placed a hand down on her lower belly and applied a bit of pressure. To her surprise, the butterflies disappeared. Maybe it was something else, she thought as she rested her head upon the cool metal of the rig.

"Gabby?" came Brett's worried voice, she had been observing what was going on. It just looked like Dawson had stopped and once she had laid her head down, Brett had become increasingly concerned. Dawson turned around and gave her a weak smile. "What's going on?"

"Nothing, everything's okay. Come on, let's move," Dawson smiled as she made progress towards where Chief Boden was standing.

Meanwhile, Casey and Herrmann had entered the building and made their way to the top floor, it was becoming progressively harder to see what was in front of them with the increase of smoke. In the time that it had taken to reach the top, they had passed not another soul, seemingly everyone on the lower floors had managed to make it out.

"Fire Department, anyone here?" he could hear Herrmann calling out as they systematically made their way through the rooms. Casey ducked his head lower, trying to find a clearer line of sight, somewhere under the smoke

Kicking in the last door on the upper floor, Casey strained his ears to see if he could hear anything. "Fire Department, call out!" Hearing what he thought was young children crying, he bolted forward calling out to Herrmann to follow him. Casey darted through the room, calling as he went. Pausing for the shortest amount of time, he struggled to listen for any sounds of life. Heading towards the bed in the middle of the room, he started pushing back the covers, careful not to push them towards the fire that had erupted near the window, burning up all of the drapes. Over the radio, he heard Severide calling over that the rest of the building was clear.

"Under here!" a small voice called. Casey stopped and dropped. Hiding under the bed were two small elementary aged children. Casey gave a sigh of relief as he stretched out a gloved hand to the closest child. "It's alright, I've got you," he spoke as a young boy crawled out. Standing upright as much as he dared he passed the child off into Herrmann's waiting arms. Bobbing down again he saw that the young girl was terrified and curled up in a ball just out of his reach. "Come on sweetie, I've got you. You just need to come towards me," he told her gently. He could hear her whimpering but she had started to make her way outwards. Casey placed his hand between her head and the metal base of the bed, "Watch your head… That's a girl." Finding his radio, he pressed down on the button, "Chief, we're coming out with two children, they need to be checked for smoke inhalation," he finished as he swept the young girl into his arms, pulling his coat over and tight around her. "It's okay, I've got you, everything's going to be okay."

"Right, let's get ready with that oxygen Brett," Dawson ordered making her way towards the back of the Ambo. She knew there was little point getting the gurney out, it would be just as fast for the boys to bring the patients to them. As she reached the rig, those butterfly feelings started up again. Applying a slight amount of pressure, they disappeared.

"Gabby?" Brett lay a hand on her back. "What's going on, and don't say nothing."

Gabby turned to face her partner, hoping that her face didn't convey the real fear she was feeling. "Honestly Brett, it's nothing. Just some hunger pains. Didn't feel like eating much earlier and now it's coming back to haunt me." Brett didn't look convinced. "Really! Once we get back to the house I'll eat and I'll feel like the same old PIC…" Turning to notice Casey coming towards them with Herrmann in tow, she pleaded with Brett, "Look I'm fine, just don't tell Casey. He'll worry about nothing. Honestly, I'm okay."

Brett gave her a tight lipped smile but nodded her head indicating that she would indeed drop it. Gabby gave a sigh of relief, however, her mind wandered whilst she was placing the oxygen mask on the young girl who Casey had deposited on the bed. What if it wasn't hunger pains, what if there was something more serious wrong? What if, what if? Placing a hand over her lower belly, she could have sworn she was actually feeling cramps now. Dawson felt tears pricking at her eyes, however, she took a shaky breath in and kept at her job.

* * *

"So," Dawson started as she stuck her head in the door of Casey's door. "That was interesting…" she trailed off. Casey looked up from his reading waving her in. He turned to sit sideways on his chair to watch Dawson go through a routine of finding somewhere to sit. Grabbing her new pillow off the bunk, she shoved it behind herself in an attempt to make herself comfortable. Sliding down slightly she took Casey's sleep pillow to hug before turning her attention back to Casey who smirked in reply

"Comfy?" he questioned cheekily.

She nodded, "Thinking about making this my new bunk," she retorted.

Casey shook his head as he made his way over the bed, lifting up her feet to take a seat on the bed. "Everything okay?"

"Hmm?" Dawson hummed as she looked around the office, rubbing her lower belly absentmindedly.

Casey took a deep breath, thinking that this might be finally the right time to start an actual conversation about their run in a few weeks ago. Every time he had tried to talk to her about it, she had found numerous ways to get out of it. "Gabby, we need to talk about the other week. When I said something stupid before I went into that abandoned building with Severide." But she was having nothing of it, of this conversation and she firmly shook her head and looked the other way. "Please Babe," he appealed placing a hand on her legs rubbing it slightly.

Another flash of surprise crossed Gabby's face briefly as she shifted in her seat, she really did need to get out into the common area and find something to eat. Continuing to ignore Casey, she leant over to search through his little cubby hole next to his bed in search of food

"Everything okay?" he questioned bothered by the look on her face that she had evidently tried to hide from him. Rummaging around for another few moments, Dawson withdrew her hand clutching a bag of potato chips.

"Just need something to eat, not feeling great. But I'm sure the salt will help pick me up," she explained popping a chip into her mouth.

Casey scanned her up and down trying to work out what was actually wrong. "So a few weeks ago…"

"Casey," she started warningly, "This isn't the right place for this conversation, we're at work…" she kept chewing between words.

"Well you won't talk to me about it at home, so when else do you want me to talk about it?" he questioned throwing his arms up into the air. Dawson narrowed her eyes at him slightly before screwing up the now empty chip packet and tossing it over his head and onto his desk.

"We keep it professional at work. Leave our problems at home and don't bring that crap to work."

"So you're telling me that you crying after a shift when I did something stupid is crap?" he asked incredulously.

Dawson shook her head and hauled herself up off the bunk and started towards the door, "I'm not doing this here Casey."

Casey snuck around her and put his hand on the door handle before she was able to reach it. "Please Gabby," he put a hand on her arm, sliding it down to reach for her hand. "Please… We need to talk about it, I need to talk about it." Dawson sighed before nodding her head. Making her way back towards the bed she scooped up the pillow and held it close, as Casey observed her hand snaking its way back down towards her lower belly, rubbing at the same spot he had noticed at the last fire and also only a few moments ago. At the same time, he moved to close the blinds of his office windows.

"Gabby - I just don't know what I did that particular day. I know that I screwed up in your eyes. But I was doing my job."

Dawson scoffed slightly, "You don't know what you did? You ran into a burning building with no regard for your life or mine. What would have happened if something had gone wrong…? All on a whim?"

"And what would have happened if Severide and I didn't go in?" Casey asked her seriously, taking a seat on his bunk, folding a leg up onto it. "What would have happened to that man?" he questioned, reaching out to caress her cheek. She pulled back.

"Do you remember what else you said that shift Casey?" Dawson's voice started to rise in volume. "Do you?" Casey's brow furrowed in confusion trying to work out what the crazy woman was trying to get at. He quickly went over the day in his head, but nothing out of the normal stood out to him.

"Babe, I did what I always do, exactly what I did today. I went into a burning building, making sure that everyone was safe. I was doing my job. And Baby I never meant to scare you or Smudge, but…"

"You told Herrmann not to go into the burning building, just in case something happened because Cindy would never forgive you… You protected Cindy… But what about me?" she questioned before dissolving into tears. As she sobbed doing the one thing she had avoided doing for days, she felt another slight funny feeling, making her sob more. Casey slid her into his arms, gently running his hands up and down her back in a soothing manner. Bring her head towards his chest he shuffled them around so that he had his back to end of the bunk and her between his legs. Continuing to run his hands across her body soothingly he dropped a few kisses onto her hair, shushing her gently.

Her sobs slowly began to ease into a few sobs here and there accompanied by a hiccup or two. He looked up as his door opened slowly with Severide looking around the door with raised eyebrows. Casey shook his head slightly, giving a tight lipped grin as the door closed again.

"Hey," he started quietly, a finger hooked under her chin easing her face up to make eye contact. "Baby, I never meant to scare you. I know that I swore to protect you and Smudge and that I might have messed up that day. I get that I scared you, and that Smudge only having one parent is our worst nightmare…"

"Matt, I'm sorry, I should never have put this on you…" she sniffed.

"Don't apologise Gabby. I want to know what it is you're feeling."

"But I shouldn't blame you for doing your job."

"Forget about it Baby…" he soothed, pulling her closer. They sat in the silence for a moment or two, before Dawson's hand darted back down to her belly. "What is it Gabby?" Whilst waiting for an answer for a minute, he pressed again, "Gabby?"

"It's nothing Matt, I'm still feeling a bit funny. And the crying didn't help," she confessed. Casey reached around behind himself for his water bottled and offered it to her. She gratefully accepted the bottle, bringing it to her lips fast.

"Baby, about what I said to Herrmann… I needed to be a lieutenant first…"

"I know Matt. I learnt under the best lieutenant in all of Chicago," she smiled. "You won't let your men and women do anything that you won't do yourself," she repeated the line she had heard many times from him before.

"Gabby I do this to protect you and Smudge," he told her. Watching as she have him a confused look, he ploughed on, "I needed to be a lieutenant first and foremost at work. I can't give anything less than my best because if I let my mind wander then I lose focus and something might happen. I do it to make sure that I'll come home to you and Smudge and at the end of the day. I will do anything to make sure that you are safe Baby."

"Matt you can't promise that… None of us knows what the next shift will hold. And losing you," she started to tear up again.

"I know I can't promise that Gabby. But I will always try to make sure I'm safe and home with you. And for me to do that I need to block that you are out there doing your job, because if I lose focus… I can't think of what would happen if I lose focus. Baby, I love you too much, and it's why I do what I do. I'm sorry for scaring you, but try to understand why I did it, please," he begged.

"I do Matt… Sometimes I just need a reminder Babe," she told him as she reached up to capture his lips.

Pulling back a few moments later when oxygen became an issue, that funny feeling was felt once more. "Okay Gabby enough is enough, something isn't right. What's going on?"

Dawson sighed and let her head fall forward onto Casey's chest, "I've just been having some funny feelings in my lower belly. It's nothing, they are just hunger pains or something like that. Food will fix it all."

"How long?... C'mon how long?" he keep poking at her for an answer.

"Since we pulled up at that fire earlier today."

"Right," Casey eased her up finding a way out from under her and then hauled her to her feet. "We're going to Med."

"Mattt…"

"Gabby," he turned to placed his hands on her shoulders, "I won't be okay until I know that everything is fine with Smudge. Please? For me? Let's go see April." Casey kept hold of her until she finally relented and nodded.

* * *

"Chief," Casey poked his head into the battalion chief's office. Waiting to be motioned in, he took a step in and closed the door behind him. Standing in front of Boden, Casey was unable to stand still, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet.

"Lieutenant?" Boden asked pulling his glasses off of his face and throwing them onto the desk. "What can I do for you?"

"Just want permission for myself and Dawson to leave shift for a short while?"

"What's happening Casey?" concern evident in his voice.

"Dawson keeps telling me it's nothing. But she's feeling funny, and I need to make sure everything is okay. I want to take her over to Chicago Med," he told his boss, his eyes continually darting towards the door.

"Go Casey," dismissed Boden

"Thanks Chief" Casey hurried towards the door. His hand had closed around the cold metal handle as Boden gained his attention again.

"Matt, you call and let me know what is going on, you hear? And don't worry about the shift. You and Dawson take as much time as you need." Casey smiled gratefully at the man behind the desk before exiting the room.

* * *

"April?" called out Gabby catching the nurse out of the corner of her eye. "Have you got a minute?"

"Gabby," she greeted, "Casey. Is something wrong?" she questioned once she noticed the concerned look at Matt wore.

"I know how busy it is… But I was wondering if we could borrow your expertise please?" asked Gabby

April ushered them into an exam room, motioning to Natalie Manning to follow them discretely.

"Oh, no need for Dr Manning," Gabby protested as she took a seat on the edge of the bed.

"You let me worry about that Gabby," assured Natalie. "Now what can we do for you?"

"I know I'm being paranoid, but with my history, this one over here," she started pointing at Matt, "insisted that we leave shift and come and get everything checked out."

"And?" questioned Natalie as she settled herself down on a spare stool. "What is it that has him rushing you in here?"

"It's nothing," insisted Gabby, twisting her wedding band.

"How about you let Natalie and April be the judge of that?" ordered Matt from his position at the foot of the bed. April gave them both a smirk, adding in that she should probably listen to the lieutenant.

Gabby grumbled as she began to explain what she had been feeling during the shift, "Honestly Natalie, it's nothing. I had a late start to the morning and you know how many times we can roll into the ER in one shift. I haven't had any time to eat. All I'm feeling is hunger pains… I'm just feeling them in my lower tummy, nothing to worry about it."

"And you need to listen to what Doctor Manning has to say Gabby," Matt insisted. Turning to face the doctor he continued, "It's got to be more than hunger pains; I've watched her eat today. She finished off any form of food that was in my office today," he spoke.

Natalie pondered what Gabby had told her for a moment or two. "How far along are you now?"

"18 weeks," jumped in Matt. "What do you think it is? Is everything okay with Smudge?"

Natalie smiled as she turned towards April, "Could you get me the portable ultrasound machine please?" Matt looked concerned as he watched April leave the room in search of the equipment. He opened his mouth, yet words were unable to leave his mouth. "It's okay Lieutenant Casey, just want to test a hunch," she comforted. Turning back towards Gabby, "You get comfortable on the bed… I want to see what's going on in there. And I'm sure it will put your mind at ease… _Both_ of you," she emphasised as she watched Matt help Gabby settle onto the bed. "So how is the pregnancy going? What are the latest cravings?"

Tapping her fingers on her belly as she pulled her shirt out of her trousers, Gabby pondered her answer, "Salt & Vinegar chips," she finally came up with, "All the chips that I can get my hands on… And fruit, specifically oranges," she added.

Matt chuckled at the chips comment, "You should feel sorry for the company. Poor Jimmy thought he was going to be castrated for being the last person with the chip packet and then Otis had to run for cover when it turned out he hadn't bought chips when he did the grocery shopping."

Natalie laughed along reaching for the wand as April wheeled the machine in. Waiting for the machine to fire up, Natalie motioned for Matt to take a seat opposite her. At the sight of the machine an extra-large grin spread over his face, he knew that they had their 20 week appointment coming up but he would never turn down a chance to see Smudge again. Grabbing Gabby's hand, he squeezed it excitedly.

"So are those hunger pains still around?"

"Every now and then… I'm telling you Natalie, I just need to get some food into me."

With a gentle smile and squeeze on an arm, Natalie started the ultrasound machine. A strong fast heartbeat filled the silent room as tears pricked at Gabby's eyes as she stared intently at the screen. Moving the wand around, pressing hard down into Gabby's lower abdomen, Natalie found what she was looking for.

"See that?" she questioned pointing to the screen. The expectant parents' eyes followed the pointed finger to watch Smudge repeatedly rolling and stretching his/her arms, occasionally tapping Gabby's uterus. A smile began to unfold on Gabby's face, Matt could see the cogs turning in her brain but wasn't able to work it out for himself. He gave her a confused smile. "Gabby that's not hunger pain you're feeling. It's the baby, it's what's known as quickening."

"But I didn't think I would be able to feel that for a few weeks yet?" Gabby questioned.

"It's different for everyone… But the baby has been moving around since your eighth week of pregnancy. It was only a matter of time before you were able to feel it. But so many women mistake it for gas or hunger pains," Natalie informed them.

Matt's fingers began to fidget at his sides as he watched Natalie clean the remaining gel off of Gabby's belly. They were what Mama Dawson would call 'itchy fingers', he had been waiting what was honestly a lifetime for this. Obviously, they hadn't had the chance with the first pregnancy and Matt knew that this was going to be yet one more way that this pregnancy was going to become even more real to him. It was like Matt had a bucket list for the pregnancy and this was at the very top. He would spend nights, especially when he had restless nights on shift when the Ambo was called out - he would spend time lying in his office thinking to the future. An imminent future where he would be able to lie with his head on Gabby's belly chatting away to Smudge, feeling him move underneath his own palm.

Once Natalie had cleared away all of the gel and equipment, Matt's warm hand was on Gabby's belly. This was a major milestone in their lives, but his smile dropped slightly when he couldn't feel anything. Grumbling to himself, he moved his hand slightly lower down her belly in the hopes of feeling something. He didn't mind how little the movement was, but he wanted to feel something. After a moment or two, slightly dejected he withdrew his hand. Raising his head to face Gabby, he found that she was having a slight chuckle to herself. "What?"

"Oh baby," she laughed reaching out to cup his cheek. "You won't be able to feel anything yet… I can barely feel anything yet.

"There'll be plenty of time and opportunities later on for you to feel something Casey," Natalie said. "Word of warning, you might be in for a wait, it could very well be a number of weeks before you can feel something," she warned. "As baby is continuing to develop he will stretch and flex her limbs. As you get further along in your pregnancy, you will begin to feel more obvious movements, such as kicking, punching, and rolling."

"So these fluttering will become more persistent and definite over time?" Gabby questioned.

April nodded along, "They will be eventually recognisable kicks and nudges too."

"So many that you will become sick of them," laughed Natalie.

"Now that you've felt it Gabby, you should probably be able to feel it every day. Don't be worried if you can't though. Some days will be stronger than others," relayed April.

"And if you want to get your baby active, I suggest that you drink a big glass of orange juice or really cold water and lay down to wait for your baby to move. You'll find that you'll feel the baby moving better when you're lying down, especially during this quickening stage. When you are up moving around, it often rocks your baby to sleep, so when you stop moving, she is able to wake up and start moving on his own," added Natalie. Gabby had to laugh at Natalie's constant interchanging of pronouns.

"Thank you. It's nice to have my mind and Matt's put to ease. Especially Matt's," teased Gabby, reaching over to poke him in the stomach.

"Anytime," replied Natalie, "Given your history, I thought actually being able to hear and see baby would ease any worries or concerns that you might have. Remember I'm here anytime that you need me. But from the quick look that I saw, everything seems to be going smoothly. Is there anything else?"

Gabby waved her off. "We're seeing Doctor Peterson in a few weeks. I'm sure we'll be okay until then."

Natalie nodded. "We'll let you get yourself together. Pass by the desk on the way out," she farewelled as the medical staff left the room.

"Can you believe we're nearly halfway to meeting Smudge?" Matt questioned, resting a hand on her re-clothed belly. Gabby smiled swinging her legs off of the bed ready to get back up.

"Now can I get back to work please?"

 _~ Her tiny fingers now have unique fingerprints ~_

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed it ~Em**


	17. Week 19 - Churros

**Still trying to catch my breath after that last Chicago PD episode... WOW! Thanks to everyone who left reviews and let me know what they think of the story.**

 **Anyway, moving on... Any other teachers out there who feel like they are just wishing their lives away? I always feel like I'm wishing for the next set of holidays, which by the way is only 4 weeks away. And on one hand - it can't come fast enough, on the other, I just don't have enough time for everything before the end of the year.**

 **Thank you, thank you to Rebecca for editing this for me. And a special hug to her for saying how much she loved this story, thanks chickie.**

* * *

 _~ Week 19 ~_

 _~ Candidate is about the size of a mango ~_

Gabby was cleaning down the bar, glancing at Matt who was having a laugh with the guys from 51 whilst enjoying a drink. It was nice to be out and about at Molly's, it felt like a long time since she had done a shift here. Pausing for a moment Gabby was sure that Smudge was moving around, those butterfly-like movements were being noticed more and more every so often. Her hands flew down to her belly and she waited for a few more seconds to see if she would feel an actual kick, but nothing. She pouted slightly, she was growing increasingly impatient to be able to feel Smudge actually give a proper kick. It was just one more question that she had for Doctor Peterson for their appointment next week, when was she finally going to be able to feel it… When would Matt be able to feel it?

Looking around, she spotted Sylvie sitting by herself in the corner of the bar. Something still wasn't quite right there, for a while Gabby thought that Sylvie had told her everything that was on her mind a few weeks ago, but she sensed that something still wasn't right. Knowing that there would be little to no point trying to get the blonde to open up here at Molly's, she wouldn't say anything with the prying ears all around. But she was wasn't willing to give up right now, she was going to force the issue tonight.

Wandering over, she nudged Sylvie's right shoulder, startling her enough to cause Sylvie to spill some of her drink. "Mermaid, did you want to go for a chat?"

Sylvie looked up, she had been off in her own little dream world, just enjoying her wine for a little while, recent shifts had been knocking her around. So the interruption by Gabby had shocked her a fair bit. "Huh?"

"C'mon, let's get out of here, I know it's getting a bit cooler now, but we should be fine."

"A bit cooler Gabby? It's bordering on freezing," complained Sylvie giving her an odd look.

"Put on a jacket girl. You'll be fine. We can go and sit down at Navy Pier and have a hot drink at Xurro or somewhere."

Sylvie regarded her for a moment or so staring intently at Gabby's almost pleading face. She didn't look like she was going to be giving up anytime soon. Sighing resignedly, she gulped down the remaining drops of wine and nodded.

"Great," Gabby enthused. "Let me tell Matt and I'll drive!" Sylvie watched as Gabby gleefully scampered off to the group of 51 members who were huddled in another part of the bar. Numerous thoughts ran through her mind, mostly concerning why Gabby was pushing the issue of getting out of Molly's. Placing her glass back down onto the table, she gathered up her bag and headed out to look for the warmest jacket she had in her car.

Meanwhile Gabby had made her way over to Matt. Once registering that she was standing beside him, Matt wrapped an arm around her waist, leaving an open hand resting on her belly. It was fast becoming his favourite pastime. Gabby smiled lightly, resisting his attempt to pull her in as he shuffled his stool backwards slightly. Usually, at some point during their nights at Molly's, she would settle herself in between his legs, whether it be standing or sitting in his lap. It gave him the opportunity to hold her in his arms, all the whilst caressing her bump.

"So Dawson, are you ever going to look pregnant?" Severide openly asked from across the table earning him a hard stare from all of the members of Truck 81. He shot them all a confused look.

"What are you trying to say Severide?" she questioned holding back all emotion from her voice.

"Just that you don't look pregnant… More just…" he trailed off in the realisation of what he was about to say, eyes widening at the thought of what the fiery Dominican might say.

"Don't know… When is our Squad lieutenant going to grow and use a brain?" she quipped trying to keep a straight face. Severide turned to look at her, mouth slightly agape.

"Burn!" Cruz gleeful announced laughing openly in his lieutenant's face.

Matt cracked a slight grin as he offered his drink to Gabby, who gave him a sideways look. "Lemon squash," he smiled.

"We're all putting in for a pair of dad jeans for him too," Severide contributed, knowing that this would get a rise of his fellow lieutenant. Severide would never learn, engaging mouth before brain as Kidd would say. Matt for his part simply gave him a 'what the' look, not even willing to engage him or defend himself as he had done in the past.

"Severide, did you not learn from your last comment?" Cruz questioned. Severide only offered a cheeky grin and shrug.

"I'm just saying what everyone was thinking," he commented offhandedly.

Gabby just waved Matt off, "Actually I'm going to head out for a hot drink with Brett," she told him watching a concerned look cross his face.

"What about the backaches from earlier?" he questioned, concern lacing each of his words. "I'm happy to drop you both off at home. It's warm there and you can just be at home?"

"Matt, stop fussing," she complained. "Look," she lowered her voice as she brought her head closer to his ear. "I just need to have a girls chat with Brett. She needs to know that everything is going to be okay when I go on leave," she confirmed, leaving out the bit about her thinking that it was more than just changing partners.

Matt nodded slightly knowing well enough it was time to leave it alone. They obviously had more to talk about than he had originally thought.

* * *

Sylvie stared in horror as Gabby came back to sit down after placing their order at Xurro. Gabby had volunteered to go and pick the drinks, whilst Sylvie had found a booth near the windows and started to watch the people bundled in coats pass by, but now here was Gabby balancing a tray filled with water, hot chocolate, a chocolate filled churro, a peanut butter filled one and a funnel cake along with a coffee for her. Sylvie was sure she had only said she wanted a coffee and nothing else.

Gabby, noticing the wide eyed start as she placed everything down on the table in front them both simply smiled, "I've been craving peanut butter all week. I'll take the chocolate one back for Matt. Or I won't hear the end of it." Both girls smiled at the knowledge of the lieutenant's sweet tooth of late.

The girls sat in a comfortable silence for quite a long while, both simply enjoying the others' company. Sylvie finally placed her nearly empty cup down before questioning, "Okay, what's this about?"

Gabby chewed the last of her funnel cake thoughtfully, thinking carefully about what it was she really wanted to say or even ask Sylvie. "We haven't really had a chance to just talk, just us… No Stella, no Casey, no house or work… But just us," Gabby treaded carefully. "Just wanted to see how things were."

Sylvie shrugged nonchalantly. "It's all okay, I guess."

Gabby gave her a hard stare, "Sylvie Brett, you think I don't know you… something is bothering you. There is something more than whatever you said it was when we were at my place a few weeks ago." Sylvie froze, was she really that transparent? She was so sure that she had covered her jealousy quite well.

"Gabby, I -," she stuttered.

"Look, Sylvie, I know it's not ideal me going on leave. Especially since we don't even know when it's going to happen."

Sylvie let out a sigh of relief, Gabby thought that her seemingly weird behaviour was all about the upcoming changes in personnel. True, it was something that had been on her mind, but if she was honest, it wasn't something that she was losing sleep over. Changes happened all the time, whilst she could only hope for someone who she would get on with half as well as she did Gabby, there was no point worrying about something that she couldn't change. "Gabby honestly it's fine. Don't get me wrong, it's been great having Dawson and Brett back together on Ambo, but I knew that it wasn't going to last forever… which is fine."

"I wish I knew when I was going on leave. I don't want to jerk you around Sylvie, it would be nice for you to know when you were taking over. Believe me, I've spoken to the Chief about it, you're qualified to be the PIC and it should be you stepping up, you deserve it. I've watched you take it back on recently with everything that I've thrown your way… It's just that I'm not ready to leave and I'm definitely not in a rush to be put behind a desk. I feel like I'm still functioning well as the PIC…" she trailed off.

"Oh… Of course, you are Gabby," assured Sylvie.

"And you would tell me if it wasn't working out?"

"Of course I would Gabs," Sylvie told her, reaching out to grasp and squeeze her hand as a sign of reassurance. Thinking on her feet, she decided to change the conversation and send it on a slightly different course, "'Perfect world' time, how long would you work for?"

"Ideal world?" confirmed Gabby, "As long as my doctor will let me… anytime after 30 weeks I would say. CFD will clear me and allow me to work for as long as my OB lets me and while the pregnancy isn't affecting my ability to carry out the job safely. And as long as it doesn't affect you either. I'm not sure how long that might be… But the Chief Paramedic told me that he has a desk job ready for me anytime that I want it," Gabby screwed up her nose at the mere thought of a desk job. "Or there's some seasonal lecturing for the academy coming up if I wanted to leave earlier, but that would have to be in the next couple weeks. But from his limited experience, they would like to have me transferred off the rig no later than 31/32 weeks."

"That gives you plenty of time then," sympathised Sylvie, knowing that as much as Gabby wanted this baby, giving up such an active job wasn't going to be easy for her.

Gabby 'hmmed' in reply. "But I doubt Matt will let me stay that long. Not with the way he is acting at the moment… he's taken the over-protectiveness to a whole new level in the last week. Ever since I felt some sort of movement from Smudge, he's gone all out with the protectiveness," Gabby gave her a goof smile at the thought of Matt's actions.

Sylvie in return gave her a tight lipped smile as she felt that now familiar jealously rise. Gabby screwed up her nose at the scene unfolding in front of her.

"Sylvie… What is it?"

Squeezing her eyes shut tight, the words left her in a rush, "I'm jealous of what you and Casey have."

Gabby shook her head slightly, unsure if she had heard her friend correctly. Where was this coming from?

"You have to believe me Gabby, I hate myself for feeling the way I do. I can't explain it, but there have been times where I just hate you two and everything that you have together…" she gave a small sob. "And… I don't know why."

Gabby was a bit taken back, never in a million years would she have thought that those would be the words coming out of one of her closest friend's mouth. How did she miss it? Pondering back for a few seconds, Gabby tried to think over the many interactions she and Sylvie would have on a weekly if not daily basis, but nothing was sticking out to her. Sylvie had been the first person to get them a special something, a little fluffy duck soft toy. It had even ridden in the Ambo with them the shift after they had announced the pregnancy to the house. So this conversation had confused her, where was all this coming from? And how had she missed all the signs? Shaking her head slightly in an attempt to rid her mind of all of those thoughts, she forced herself to pay attention to Sylvie, may be this was why she missed the signs in the first place. "Oh Sylvie, why didn't you ever say anything to me?"

"I didn't want you to hate me. And I was angry at myself for feeling jealous. I had no right to be jealous or want what you have. I mean, after everything it took for you to even be here… I just don't have the right."

"Sylvie, it is human nature to feel jealous of others that have something that is such a major part of life and maybe you didn't ever think you wanted anything like this before. It upsets me when people think we should just brush things aside and find other things to focus on, I don't want to you brush it aside," Gabby told her staring straight into her teary blue eyes.

"I'm sorry, I honestly thought you'd hate me for even feeling the way that I do… I hate myself for it," she tearily confessed.

"Why mermaid?"

"I don't even understand why I feel the way I do. When you first told us, I was beyond excited for you and Casey. And then when I saw the two of you in the common room, it was then that it all hit me. I was jealous, and I know it's irrational. But the way that Casey treats you and it just made me think about my life, and when I was going to find someone who treats me the same way that he does you. Gabby it's the little things that Casey does, did you know that that boy does not take his eyes off of you during the shift when we're out on a call and they've finished their part? From the moment a victim is on our stretcher and the 81 crew is packing up, he is discreetly following your every move. And I can't help but think when will it be my time?"

"And the baby?" Gabby gently questioned. She was far from angry at Sylvie, she was actually a touch upset that she had felt the need to hide it all from her.

"I never knew it was something that I wanted, you have to believe me Gabby. It completely caught me off guard when I started feeling what I am feeling, just watching Casey with you, brushing his hand over your belly," she spoke as a lone tear dripped down her paler than normal skin. "I hate myself for this," she mumbled as she bowed her head and withdrew into herself even more.

Letting go of Sylvie's hand and having missed the last few muttered words, Gabby moved herself to the other side of the booth taking a seat next to her whilst slinging a hand over her shoulder. "I just want you to be honest with me. Don't hold it in Sylvie. You just need to tell me what it is and how I can help."

"How do you not hate me?"

"How could I hate you?" came Gabby's confused reply.

"I wanted something that you have… But it's something that you have wanted and longed for, for such a long time. And when I become jealous of the baby, it took me by surprise - I had never had any sort of these feelings when you had Louie."

"That was different…"

"But that's the point, I don't understand why? I know what you've been through, losing two children. Relationships haven't been easy either. Any other person in the same situation and I'm fine, and that's why I'm angry at myself. I have no right to want what you have… What kind of person finds sadness in their best friend's happiness? I'm a horrible friend…" Sylvie paused trying to even out her breathing, trying to suppress all the negative emotions that were swirling around her.

However it was to no avail as she began to quietly sob uncontrollably, hating herself for crying, but still the tears poured from her eyes. Gabby without a word, pulled her in so her head was resting on her shoulder, as her other hand went to rest on Sylvie's forehead brushing the hair from her face. "Shh… It's okay…"

Resting her own head on top of Sylvie's she whispered soothing, "I will never hate you for this. I will understand if there's any time that you don't want to talk, you just need to tell me. I don't want you to isolate me…" Gabby seriously told her, "... Or yourself."

Sylvie continued to sob for many more minutes before finally taking a shaky breath. "I'm sorry Gabby… I just didn't know what to say… I never knew that I wanted a relationship so much," she apologised. "I'll be okay. I know it's going to be hard, but even you knowing makes it that much easier," she confessed. "Just a hopeless romantic, who had a life pictured for myself and it just hasn't turned out that way… I just don't know where I went wrong."

"Sylvie, I need to be completely honest with you… As much as we all tell you that finding and having a relationship with another first responder isn't always the best idea..."

"Yeah, I gave Chilli the same advice," Sylvie interrupted.

"But that shared experience - it is what brings you together, but it can also be the same thing that tears you apart. Mermaid, I would never been able to get through the last few years without Matt, and I can't even begin to think about much that must hurt to hear. Remember this though, the more you chase love the more it will elude you, but at the same time don't settle for someone who isn't right for you just because they might fit your ideal of love. And sometimes having the person who leads me into the burning building, or at least used to, makes a difference. He knows what it like to search a burning bedroom for children, everything burning around me… He knows what it's like to come back to the house after that very close call where we nearly lost someone," Gabby told her. Looking her straight in the eyes, she wondered if she should actually mention the last thought that was running through her mind.

"And most importantly - Matt understands the physical, emotional and mental drain we go through and the missed meals, lost sleep and having to forgo social activities, in addition to all the tragedy my eyes have seen… That's something unless they've experienced it, they will never understand…" Something clicked inside of Gabby and suddenly she needed to talk to Matt.

* * *

"Matt?" Gabby called out walking through the house, intent on having a conversation with Matt. She was pretty sure that he would be home, his truck was in the garage… But then again she realised, that it had been her who had driven them to Molly's so of course his truck would be here. Placing the churro in the fridge for Matt to have later, she slowly made her way towards the bedroom, closing up the house as she went.

Therefore it naturally surprised her to find Matt sit on their bed, still fully dressed from Molly's reading over what looked like a council proposal. "How did you get home?"

Matt looked up startled. "Hmm?" he questioned, discarding the papers onto the bedside table and opening up his arms as an invitation. Gabby shook her head and threw her purse on the chair sitting in the corner before sitting on the edge of the bed to take her shoes off. She audibly sighed. Matt gave a slight smirk behind her back before scurrying around to help ignoring every protest that she made about being able to take her own shoes off and that she wasn't that fat yet. He simply gave her a smile.

Once snuggled into his arms Gabby opened her mouth to speak, "So I had an interesting conversation with Brett tonight."

"Really? What about?" he questioned in reply dropping a kiss on her head.

"Just about everything that she's been feeling lately and how she's coping with everything…"

"Vague much."

"Specifics aren't important Matt… But it got me to thinking about what I'm going to do in the next few months. And then I realised that I haven't spoken to you about it. Talking to Brett made me remember how lucky I am to have you as my partner... As my husband... Brett is struggling to find her place and as I was telling her about us, something dawned on me. Matt, I don't need to wish you understood what it feels like to be crawling through a burning building at 2 in the morning groping your way around hoping desperately that you haven't missed anyone. Or wish you understood the feeling of watching a young child be pronounced, knowing that their parents won't get to see them graduate or get married or hear the words 'I Love You' ever again," she told him, tightening her grip on his shirt. "Or even needing to understand the demands of the job, living in a first responders family, missing important events. You live it every day along side of me. I realised how lucky I am that we walk a similar path in life, and that you truly understand the job. And I think that's all Brett wants from life."

"Of course I understand baby," Matt comforted, running his fingers through her hair.

"It also made me realise that even though we've been together for a long time, I still make decisions without you." Matt nodded his head slowly wondering where this conversation was going.

"But we've been working on it," he prompted.

"We haven't spoken about what we're going to do…"

"Gabby you know that I'll support you whatever decision you make."

"What I didn't tell you is that the Dean of the Academy offered me a seasonal lecturing position with the new intake of candidates, after our conversation a few weeks ago at the seminar and then the chief paramedic mentioned my pregnancy. Next thing I know I've got a job offer," she confessed.

"Gabby that's great news. Why didn't you say anything before?"

"A few things, I guess," she stammered. "Problem is that it starts in a few weeks, I would need to hand in my jump bag by my twenty third week. I'm just not ready to do that," she confessed.

Matt sat up further, turning on his spot to look her in the face, "What else?" Matt questioned. "There is something more isn't there?"

Gabby stayed silent, cursing the fact that Matt was able to read her so well, even without the words. On one hand she didn't want to tell Matt the real reason for her reluctance to share her news for the fear of hurting him, but could she really keep everything bottled up for the rest of her pregnancy? Hadn't she vowed and said on her wedding day 'I promise you my unconditional love, my fullest devotion, my most tender care. You are everything I need. And at this moment I feel that all of my prayers have been answered. I promise to take care of you, to encourage and inspire you, asking that you be no other than yourself. From this day forward you shall not walk alone.' And hadn't Matt pledged the same things? He had always made sure that she would never walk through anything alone. Wasn't now the time to open up to the man she loved and be completely honest? With the words echoing in her mind she opened her mouth to reply.

"Babe?" he questioned, using an index finger to bring her chin towards him.

"I didn't want to tell you because I thought you might want me to take the job… Anything to get me off Ambo and off the streets."

Matt abruptly withdrew from her, his head spinning. What would have given her that idea? "Gabby how could even say such a thing? I would never do that to you." He removed himself from the bed.

"Matt," she pleaded, reaching out to him.

"Honestly Gabby, when have I ever given you the idea I would make you give up your job?" he paced at the end of the bed, his temper starting to get the better of him. "How could you?"

Gabby closed her eyes for a moment. When she reopened them, Matt had stalked off. Rushing to get up she chased him down the stairs into the kitchen. "Matt please," she cornered him at the breakfast bench.

"I've always said that I would always support you whatever you decided to do. So for you to say that Gabby," he angrily shook his head.

"Please come back to bed so we can talk about it…" she almost begged. "Matt, please I need to sit down." Chasing him down the stairs had winded her more than she would have liked to admit, but at this point, she was not above using Smudge to get him back upstairs for them to continue their conversation.

Matt shook his head at her as he reached into the fridge looking for a beer. "Gabby, I just need some time to think about this. Let me have this drink and then maybe I'll be ready to talk to you," he shut her down as he walked off leaving her standing alone in the kitchen. Gabby watched him leave sadly before making her way back to have a bath. She was determined to do something to relax those tight back muscles.

Matt turned as he shut the door that led to their outdoor area, sighing as he took a seat. Enjoying the silence that the night threw up, he thoughtfully sipped on the cold beverage in his hand. His mind was going a million miles an hour. He couldn't believe that Gabby had deliberately withheld information just because she thought that he would force her hand. What kind of husband would he be if he made her do that?

One of the biggest hurdles that they had been forced to overcome in their relationship was the pure and simple fact that they were both fiercely independent people, Gabby especially. Gabby was a strong woman, one who was tough, resilient and had a hard time hearing no. He admired and loved these qualities about her. He also knew that they would be in for a hard time when it finally came time for her to take a desk job, she wasn't a snowflake, she had even said as much. He would never presume to tell her what to do, rather time and time again he had told her that he would support him in everything.

He enjoyed working with Gabby, all those years working together they had developed a rhythm. One that was strengthened when she had worked under him on truck. They knew each other's idiosyncrasies well and were able to predict the others' movements which was especially handy as lieutenant and PIC. And as strong a woman as Gabby was, Matt prided himself in being able to protect her at all costs. But it was getting harder and harder to watch her get on the rig and head out on another call during a shift. What if something happened and he wasn't there to protect her and Smudge?

Somewhere buried inside he knew that he held a deep seeded fear of history repeating itself. And he refused to put any words to this fear, not to her, not to anyone. It was something that he would deal with by himself, she never need to know about it. Pulling at the paper label, he placed his now empty bottle down pondering what it was he needed to do. It wasn't fair of him to walk out on her, but he had felt the anger rising in him and knew that it wouldn't be right to speak in anger. Those words would only hurt, and he had the tendency for his mouth to move much faster than his brain.

Slowly Matt made his way up to their bedroom to find Gabby missing. He walked over into the bathroom to find Gabby reading in the bath. Leaving her be for the moment, he started to prepare himself for bed. Kneeling down next to the tub he placed his forearms on the edge, "Talk to me?"

Gabby sighed as she discarded the book. "It hurt that you would think that I would think that of you." Matt gave her a concerned look.

"It didn't help that it really sounded like the only reason you haven't told me is that you thought I would make you take the job."

"I just didn't give it much thought. I never thought of myself as an instructor, not something that I wanted to do," she confessed looking away from him.

"That's fine Gabby. I just wish you had told me about it before," he told her as he ran a hand over her wet shoulder.

"Would you rather have me not tell you why I never mentioned it…? Rather me lie?" she questioned. Matt thought about it for a moment, it seemed like he was stuck between a rock and a hard place, there was nothing he could say about this.

"How about we get you out of this bath and talk about it properly. I promise to be open minded," he told her holding out a hand to help her up.

Once settled in the middle of their bed Gabby opened her mouth to speak, "Well off you go, you wanted to talk…"

"Gabby I'm going to be honest, it does concern me that I can't always be there to protect you and Smudge…"

"Do you honestly think I would put Smudge in danger?"

"No, I don't Gabby. But understand me, we work a dangerous job. And it's unpredictable," he soothed.

"So you would prefer that I did take a desk job?" she accused.

"I didn't say that Gabriela," he huffed. "Stop putting words in my mouth." Gabby gave him a look and moved more over towards her side of the bed.

"Maybe this wasn't a good idea… We can talk about it another day," she turned away from him.

"No," Matt insisted. "We've been down that road before, we're not going there again. I want us to talk about it, no accusations just being honest…" Still she would not look at him. Matt sighed letting his shoulder fall. Scooting over himself, he placed a hand on her side. "I'm sorry Gabby, I know how much this means to you. But understand from my point of view that I'm scared that something will happen to you and Smudge. You have to remember that I've always said that I worry about you every time you get on that Ambo rig. Now that there's two of you, I can't help but worry more. But I won't apologise for that Gabby. I love you both too much."

Gabby gave a small smile as she turned over onto her back, letting Matt's hand slip from her side to belly. She would never question Matt's love for them. "Matt, I know that. I promise that I'm not taking any unnecessary risks,"

"I know Babe," he leant down to capture her lips. "I've been missing these tonight," he mumbled against her lips.

"Mattt…Don't change the subject," she mentioned. "I want you to know that I want your opinion on me taking leave…"

Matt groaned as he moved off of her. "I'm telling you again, I will support you in any decision that you make. That being said, I will say something if I think you're no longer coping, or if something happens. But I'm happy to stick to the plan of you leaving and moving into an office around 30 weeks. I'm on board with that decision." Gabby smiled, she knew that they would be on the same page, this was just a little hiccup in the road. "Now with that out of the way," Matt grinned as he lowered himself again, "I do believe that there is something else I would rather be doing," he laughed as he pulled the sheet over their heads, muffling her giggling with his mouth.

 _~ His legs are now longer than his arms, and he'll start giving you "hello" jabs at regular intervals ~_

* * *

 **I have to say that when I was re-reading this during this evening I had a craving for Churros. So now I think I overate at San Churros tonight.**

 **Hope you enjoyed this chapter - I really did want to wrap up the current Brett storyline and felt this was a good way to do it.**

 **Let me know what you think ~ Em**


	18. Week 20 - Trampoline Bladder

**Half way there!**

* * *

 _Week Twenty_

 _~ Candidate is the size of a small artichoke ~_

"Matt, I am serious…" growled Gabby as she followed her husband to the back door. "Do _not_ be late, we have an appointment with Doctor Peterson and then with the ultrasound tech at 2pm. It's our twenty week scan. You can't miss it."

"I'm not going to miss it," reasoned Matt as he placed his briefcase down on the waiting bench before pulling and straightening his tie. Gabby shook her head quickly as she swatted his hands out of the way and fixed it for him. "But I've got this vote for the finance council today. I need to be there."

Gabby looked at him with wide eyes not quite sure what to make of it all. She hadn't seen him last night after what had been a busy day at work previous to that. She audibly sighed as Matt pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I won't be late," he promised as he flung the door shut after himself. Gabby stood rooted to the spot for a minute or two watching as he hurried down the steps and towards his truck. Finally turning around, she made up her mind to get herself a hot drink and just sit in the bedroom that she had decided to turn into Smudge's nursery. Still needed to run that by Matt though.

Soon she was trudging up the stairs and into what was the fourth bedroom on their house plans, she had been tossing up which room to use for a few weeks now and whilst it was the one of the smaller one upstairs, it wasn't the smallest one they had, and it also had a balcony which she wasn't happy about. But at the same time, it was the easiest one to get to from their room. Maybe in a few years when Smudge was older they could be moved into a bigger bedroom that was elsewhere the house. She and Matt hadn't done much with this room, actually with two of the bedrooms since they had moved into this rather large house. The room that they had had for Louie had been stripped bare and quite quickly been turned into their guest room, Gabby hadn't been able to even look at the young boy's room that had been filled with toys, most items relating to firefighting, once he had left the family. So she had flung herself headlong into the job of changing it into a guest room fit for an adult.

Lowering herself down onto a chair that had been placed by the juliet balcony in this bedroom, she placed her steaming hot chocolate on the sideboard and laying a hand of her still fairly small bump. All through her reading, not to mention Matt's reading, she knew that she wasn't likely to 'pop' for a while yet, being what was technically a first pregnancy it more likely to happen anywhere between 20 and 24 weeks. Yet she still filed it away as a question that she wanted to ask her doctor later in the afternoon. Glancing down once more at her pudge, Kelly had been right, she still didn't really look pregnant more like she had big lunch.

Looking around the smallish room, she pondered what she wanted to do with this room for Smudge, most of Louie's stuff had been either boxed up in their garage or given away. Either way, she knew that there really wasn't any newborn items that they would be able to use. No, rather she was going to need to start thinking of the bits and piece she would need to purchase.

Closing her eyes allowing her body to rest, she allowed herself to think about what the nursery was going to look like. In her mind's eye, she could see a grey rocking chair near the windows along with a standard white crib. It's funny, Gabby had always thought that they would have had a wooden crib, but as she sat here thinking about it, it was clear as a day - a white crib. On the wall she could see a sticker decal - long skinny trees with the fall leaves cascading down the wall. And of course, taking pride of place in the cot was a plush fire truck. No matter what she thought of it all, their little Smudge was going to have plenty of fire department items.

Firefighting - the word caused her to flashback as she thought back on everything that had happened over the last few days. She had to continually remind herself that this whole running for alderman was actually something that she had pushed him to do, if she was frustrated with him she only had herself to blame. But their last shift had been one for the books. Gabby hadn't even been five feet in the door, or technically even started her shift when the first call had come through for Ambo 61, nor had she and Brett made it to roll call. Brett had bought them a sandwich for lunch from the cafeteria whilst she had been filling out paperwork at Med. She actually had half a mind to request that the PIC actually have a space to work in with the amount of paperwork that needed to be filled in, both at the house and whilst out on a run. Not to mention the incredibly late night she had had, it had been closer to 11 pm when she and Brett made their way into the bunk room. Normally she would think to poke her head into Matt's office to say goodnight, knowing full well that the lieutenant didn't sleep soundly when Ambo was out on a call, but that night she was much too tired. And it had only been 90 minutes until their next call out to respond to a patient down. And so the cycle had continued for the rest of the shift.

Understandably the only thing that Gabby wanted to do when the Caseys arrived home following the shift was sleep. And she had spent most of the day doing just that. And it had taken her by surprise when Kelly had shown up to take Matt out for a drink. With all of the hormones running around her body, she hadn't taken it very well at all. Looking back on it she could understand that Matt needed his own time, out with his own friends. After all hadn't she had quite a few nights out with the girls and Matt had never objected. Whereas last night as Matt walked towards the door following after Kelly she had managed to somehow get between the door and Matt and slam it shut after Kelly had walked out.

 _*Flashback*_

 _Gabby turned on her spot to face Matt, her face like thunder. Matt actually took a step back for his own safety. Kelly, on the other side of the door, turned at the sound of the slamming wooden door, gave a wry smile and sat himself down on the top step knowing that there was no point in knocking on the door again. He didn't pity Matt, not one bit. He had seen some of Gabby's more serious mood swings - going from crying to shouting within a matter of mere minutes. He and Kidd might have a good thing going for them, but man he did not want to be in Matt's current position._

" _I'm sorry," she mocked. "Did you may be forget to mention that you and Kelly were going out for drinks?"_

" _Gabby," Matt soothed placing a hand on her arm._

" _Don't!" she ordered pulling back slightly. "We had plans tonight." Matt's hand dropped to his side as he thought about what is was she was telling him. He had been sure that they hadn't talked about doing anything tonight. Actually, he was sure that he had mentioned that Kelly had decided to take him out about four days ago. On all fronts, it had busy for Matt Casey over the recent weeks._

" _Gabby, baby," he started again, pulling her gently towards the living room. Looking out of the window on the front door, he made eye contact with Kelly who gave him a small nod. In return Matt gave him a small tight lipped grimace, knowing that this might take a while. "Gabby," he repeated as they sat. She tried pulling away slightly, however he squeezed her upper arm carefully. "Babe, I did tell you about this… We spoke about it after shift at the beginning of the week…" Matt took a deep breath wondering how best to broach this with her. "Gabs, you were the one that suggested I go out with Sev," he reminded her gently._

 _The wind was knocked out of Gabby's sails, how could she not remember that. Who was she to take it out on him? A tear slowly made its way down her cheek, silently. A sob caught in her throat._

" _Hey… Look at me," Matt directed, his rough calloused thumb wiping away at the lone tear. "It's okay."_

" _No it's not Matt…" tears welling in her eyes. "It's not okay." She stomped her foot on the floor trying to stop the tears coming. She didn't even know what had caused her to even snap like that. "I shouldn't have said that to you."_

" _I can tell Sev that we can do our drinking session tomorrow…" offered Matt, pulling her closer. "We can stay right here on the couch, if you'd like…"_

" _No," Gabby shook her head, she would not be the cause of him missing out on drinking and having a good time. Especially not when he had been so understanding about all of her girls nights._

 _Matt searched her face, looking for a sign, for something. Gabby gave him the brightest smile that she could manage at the moment, albeit not a big one. Nodding his head encouragingly, he finally stood up. Pressing a kiss on her forehead, he started towards the door. Pausing for a moment, he came back to pressed another kiss to her lips. "Don't wait up," he mumbled against her lips._

 _Gabby gave him a stupid grin as she watched him walk towards the door. Looking down, she whispered, "Looks like it's just you and me_ _bebé_ _."_

 _*End Flashback*_

"Guess it's still just you and me again bebé," Gabby whispered. Looking down at her watch she found that it was time that she needed to gather her things and head to Med for her appointment, she had spent more time daydreaming in the room than she had realised. Smiling to herself as she lifted herself to her feet, she looked around once more. "I can't wait for you to see your room Smudge. Everything is going to be perfect," she spoke aloud as she quietly shut the door to the bedroom.

Wondering where Matt was as she gathered her stuff together, all the while drinking water as she had been told too. These ultrasound machines had obviously been designed by a male, no pregnant person would ever willingly force another to drink the gallons of water required for a sonogram to occur. She was already beginning to feel uncomfortable. But Matt still wasn't home. Grabbing her cell from the waiting handbag on the kitchen counter, Gabby tapped her foot impatiently as she was instructed by Matt's voicemail to leave a message as he wasn't available. Hearing the message a further three times, Gabby glanced worriedly at the clock, knowing that if she didn't leave now she was going to be late for her appointment.

"Damn it Matt, where are you?" she pondered as she threw the car into reverse.

* * *

"So Gabby, did you have the amniocentesis done?" Clara questioned. "Last time we spoke you hadn't decided." Clara watched carefully at the young woman seated across the desk from her. Gabby had arrived slightly out of breath with a concerned look set on her features, Clara had been taken aback when she realised that Matt wasn't with her. Neither woman had brought it up though, with Clara not thinking it was her place to question, nor Gabby giving anything away to his whereabouts.

Gabby looked down at her hands slightly and shook her head. She was still annoyed that Matt had missed their appointment, she had reminded him quite a few times, yet he had still missed it. During the drive across to Med, Gabby had tried to call him another three times, but every time it had gone to voicemail. She had to struggle to not allow her mind to wander into an imaginary land where something may have happened to Matt. Wouldn't that be ironic? Work a dangerous, put your life on the line job every shift and then something happens off shift. But she was sure that he was just running late… Wonders would never cease.

"It's okay Gabby, we can do the test right up to your 20 week mark, but it's not that you have to have the testing."

"Matt and I had a chat about it. And I know that the risk of a miscarriage is less than 1 in 100…"

"You realise that is less than 1%."

"It's just the idea of that big needle going through my belly. I just can't Clara. After losing the first baby," she professed.

Clara reached out her hand out to squeeze Gabby's, "It's okay. Normally as your OB I would leave it at that. But at the same time I feel that I need to tell you everything," Gabby nodded waiting for her doctor to continue. "Look Gabby, the amniocentesis test is our most common diagnostic test. It's not particularly painful, honestly it doesn't hurt any more than it does when you have a blood test. For most women they are able to go back to work within a day or so, although in your line of work I probably wouldn't suggest it. It is quite normal to experience cramps, similar to cramps that you would feel during a period. But that's not an indication of an increased risk of miscarriage."

"So?"

"Honestly Gabby, Amniocentesis is highly accurate at finding out whether you baby has a chromosomal abnormality or a condition such as spina bifida… But this is completely up to you Gabby," Clara assured her.

Gabby looked down at her hands. She sniffed slightly trying to get her emotions under control. She had been so sure about her decision, along with Matt, they had spent hours talking about it. They just both been unable to shake the fear that lay deep in their hearts that something might happen. And even though she was halfway there in her pregnancy, any perceived threat however small it may be, it just wasn't a risk she was willing to take. No matter how much she told herself that nothing was going to happen, that Smudge was healthy she just couldn't allow herself to take that risk. Whatever the consequences of not having the test were, the Casey had been willing to take them. Gabby felt a tear drip down her cheek, now it seemed that she was making the wrong decision. And without Matt here everything just wasn't as clear as it had been a few days ago.

"Gabby," Clara spoke gently, "We don't need to do this today, any of it. I can reschedule everything and you can wait for Matt to be here with you. Remember there is nothing to force you to have these tests done. But I wouldn't be a good doctor if I wasn't sure that you were fully informed about every scenario. Gabby… There are many couples who choose not to have this testing done. Don't question yourself or any decision that you have made. If you and Matt are comfortable with this, then don't second guess yourself," she finished. Internally she was kicking herself for even bring up the testing, it was just that she was so used to having these conversations with all of her patients that she hadn't even stopped to think of how this might have been a trigger for Gabby.

A sudden knock on the door startled both Gabby and Clara out of their own little worlds. "Hi?" Matt stuck his head around the door. "Babe?" Matt rushed across the small room at the sight of the teary red eyes that Gabby had. "What is it?" he questioned as he knelt down in front of her chair.

"I'm just going to get a coffee and organise everything with the ultrasound," Clara offered as she eased herself up from her chair.

"No, no, no… Clara you don't have to do that…" Gabby interrupted. Clara waved her off, explaining that she would back in just a short while. Matt grabbed her hand and with his other hand dragged a chair closer for himself to sit next to her. Gabby turned her head away from him. She was upset at herself for not being able to stick to her decisions and she was equally mad at him for not having been around this morning and being late for their appointment. Whilst rationally she knew that Matt would never deliberately miss an appointment or not call, it still felt like she had been let down. That she wasn't the priority, damn these hormones for even making her feel this way.

"Gabby, I'm so sorry. The vote ran over time and you know what it's like in there…"

"No I don't," she bit back.

"I can't have my phone on. And then there were roadworks on the Kennedy Expressway, not to mention an accident..."

"Did you stop to help the Fire Department?" she snarled. Matt pulled back a bit, he knew that when he did arrive that she would likely be annoyed at him, but he hadn't thought that it was going to be such a frosty reception.

"No, but I did get stuck for over 20 minutes. I tried calling you baby, but it went to voicemail." Gabby gave him a look before fishing around in her handbag for her cell. Withdrawing it, she found that Matt was telling the truth, there were five missed calls for him. She sighed, letting her body sag. Matt shifted in his chair once more. Running a finger down her cheek, he let out a small exhale. "Why the tears?"

"Did we make the right decision about the amniocentesis test?" she questioned softly, her eyes downcast.

"Gabs, are we going to love Smudge any less if there is something wrong?"

"Of course not," she insisted.

"Then are we okay with not knowing? Herrmann told me that he and Cindy didn't have any of the testing done, but their tech was able to look for some markers for Down Syndrome. Maybe we can talk to Dr Peterson about this?" he wondered out loud. "Babe, it's okay. It's okay to be scared. And there is nothing wrong with not wanting to take the risk, no matter how small the chance that something could happen."

"But Doctor Peterson…"

Matt gritted his teeth slightly, he was so annoyed at himself for being late. If only he had been on time, then maybe he would have been able to prevent all of this worry. There had been many conversations about what tests they did or didn't want, just to save all the pressure at the doctor's office. "I'm sure Doctor Peterson was just doing her job. She does need to ensure that all of her patients are sufficiently informed." Gabby was only able to nod her head.

"Let's just get this over with then…"

"Wait… Gabby," he tightened the grip on her hands. "This is not about just getting it over with. This is a big milestone for Smudge." Gabby had to crack a smile. "Is that a smile that I'm seeing?" he teased giving her his own side smile. "That's better… I think we need to talk about me being late and everything you're feeling right now when we get home. But are you excited to see Smudge?"

She nodded letting her hand ghost over her swell. Matt gave a dry chuckle as his own warm hand joined hers. "So what are we waiting for? One step at a time, okay? I'm right here with you baby… Every step of the way," he promised.

There was a gentle knock on the door. Opening slowly, Doctor Peterson poked her head through the door, "Is it safe to come back in?" she teased as she let herself completely into the room. "How are you Matt?" she reached out to shake his hand.

"Good… Sorry about the late arrival. Alderman duties," he informed her returning the handshake.

Gabby frowned and shook her head as she rose to her feet. She might have accepted his excuse for being late, but that didn't mean she had to like it. "Okay, so I'm still sure about the testing… We're confident with no at this time," she looked for the nod of understanding from her OB. "If there's nothing else, can we see Smudge now?" she asked a sudden change of mood.

"Excited much?" mocked Matt, watching as Clara bit back a laugh, taking Gabby's hand into his own.

"More like Smudge is using my bladder as a trampoline… And I feel like I've drunk enough water that I'm going to burst…" she narrated as they made their way behind Clara into an examination room.

"Common complaint," acknowledged Clara as she watched Gabby settle onto the rather uncomfortable table. Once she was settled, Matt pulled up a stool for himself, all of this bring a smile to Clara's face. It was always nice to see a couple like this, one where the male was a gentleman and made sure that his wife was completely comfortable before setting up himself, one who wouldn't let anything divert his attention away from her.

"So, which poor technician did you inflict on us?" questioned Matt fidgeting in his seat. "Or should that be which poor technician has us inflicted on them?"

"You're looking at her," stated Clara pulling the ultrasound machine towards them. She gave a little chuckle at their shocked faces. "Yes, it's highly unusual but not unheard of for OB/GYNs to perform your ultrasounds. But after your last experience I wanted to do this. Keeps my hands fresh too," explained the doctor. "Warning cold!" squirting gel onto Gabby's bare belly.

Matt laughed softly as she shivered and took her hand.

"So I do need to ask this," began Clara. "This is the big scan - do we want to know the gender?"

Matt and Gabby locked eyes. She searched the depths of his blue eyes, searching for confirmation that what they had decided earlier was still what he wanted. She hated the fact that she was second guessing herself, but she wanted to be sure. Matt, on his part, saw the confusion in her eyes. Carefully he took her hand, kissing it and nodded encouragingly. Taking a deep breath Gabby responded, "Nope, don't want to know," she confidently said.

Clara nodded as she pressed the doppler wand into Gabby's belly. Gabby hissed slightly, "And when can I pee?" she yelped. Clara looked apologetic as she turned the screen around for the Caseys to look their ever growing child. Over the next 20 minutes, quite agonising long minutes for Gabby, Clara checked out and pointed out all of Smudge's major organs and body systems. She started at the brain, carefully inspected the spine - counting each vertebra. Smudge's heart echoed loudly in the quiet room as the heart was checked and Clara pointed out every one of the four chambers. Looking at the stomach, kidneys and bladder, Matt wiped away the tears that had started to form in Gabby's eyes.

Laughter resounded around the room as Clara made her way around Gabby's belly to check on all of the limbs and it could be clearly seen that Smudge was rocking their own little dance party. "Taking after Matt it seems," predicted Gabby again. Matt, try as he might, tried to look mock indignant. It just didn't seem to work for him, not with the wide smile he wore.

"I have a question?" he started. "I know we didn't go for the other genetic testing but one of my men mentioned something about markers for Down syndrome?"

"I'll be honest," Clara cautioned, "ultrasounds at this stage aren't a reliable way to detect Downs, but it can be used to pick up what we know as soft markers. If multiple soft markers are picked up then that might suggest an increased risk. But at the same time many of those markers are common and not a cause for concern. However, I do not see any of concern at all. Matt, Gabby I wouldn't be worried at all," she maintained.

Gabby felt a sob in her throat, as prepared as she thought she might be for anything, she couldn't deny the relief she felt. A part of her even felt a bit guilty for the relief she felt.

"Actually," started Clara, her wand still moving, "It's probably a good thing that you don't want to know the gender…"

"Why?" Matt questioned curiously.

"Baby here," she motioned towards the screen, "has decided to curl up quite tightly now. Good thing that I've finished all of the measurements…"

"And?" Matt asked impatiently. Gabby giggled slightly, she hadn't been joking with her own mother when she described Matt like a little boy in a candy store when it came to Smudge.

"Baby is fine, a little small. But growing fine."

"Small?" questioned Gabby concern lacing her words. Fear gripped her thinking that something was seriously wrong with her child and that she would have to go through a battery of tests. Matt's face too was showing a similar level of fear.

"No… No…" Clara clarified laying a hand on Gabby's forearm. "Here look," she flicked back through the ultrasound images. "So there are numerous factors that go into determining how big your baby is. On average at 20 weeks of gestation, a baby is about 10 inches long from head to toe and around 6 inches from head to rump. The head circumference at 20 weeks is between 5.9 to 7.8 inches in size. The humerus - which is the long bone in the arm - can range from 0.98 to 1.37 inches in length. The femur or the long bone in the leg may be around 1.1 to 1.49 inches in length…"

"Wow, that's a lot of numbers," muttered Matt. Gabby just glared at him. "What?" he questioned, "it is!" he defended himself.

"Anyway," laughed Clara, she knew there was a reason she had decided to do their ultrasound. She would always get a laugh out of the Caseys, especially Matt. "Anyway," she regained an air of professionalism, "Calculations are based on the four common fetal measurements, biparietal diameter, head circumference, femur length, and abdominal circumference," she finished, pointing out each of the measurements on each ultrasound image.

Gabby nodded along taking each bit of information in. "You can read about it when we get home Baby," she gently teased, looking at the confused look Matt wore.

"So baby Casey is measuring a little below average, nothing to be concerned about Gabby. You and Matt are both of average size, but you have a fairly small frame," she clarified for the couple.

"Hey," protested Matt. "I'm 5'10" … That's above average!"

Gabby laughed as she reached over to pat him on the knee comfortingly. "Babe, the average male is 5'9.5" ... You're _not_ really above average."

"Either way, baby is growing well, I'm not seeing anything that concerns me at all."

"Any other bits of info for us?" Gabby questioned. "Is there something else that I need to be doing to make sure Smudge is okay?"

Clara shook her head as she started to pack up the machine, "Baby is approximately 313grams and the average estimated fetal weight for 20 weeks is 331grams. So really they are only just below average. Just keep doing what you're doing now and I believe everything will continue on this track," she informed them as she passed over the USB containing their latest precious photos.

* * *

"So?" questioned Cruz at the beginning of their next shift, after Boden had dismissed them from roll call.

Dawson shifted in her seat turning fully to face the newest and youngest squad member. "So what?"

"Are we expecting to get another boy on Squad?" Cruz bounced in his chair.

"Are you saying that only boys are good enough for Squad?" Kidd mock accused from her spot, shooting both Cruz and Severide a death glare as she noticed Severide open his mouth to say something. She knew that Severide would defend Cruz and agree with him wholeheartedly.

"It doesn't matter either way," Casey announced as he walked towards where Dawson was seated. "Smudge is going to be joining Truck," he gloated placing his warm hands on her shoulders, massaging them carefully.

Severide scoffed slightly. "Why would he want to join Truck when Uncle Kelly is on Squad?"

"Why would she want to join Squad when Aunt Stella is on Truck?" fired back Kidd.

"Excuse me," interrupted Brett, "Why would she do either of those things… Everyone knows that her favourite Aunt Sylvie is going to get her onto Ambo… Just like her Mama."

"What's the all the Aunts and Uncles here?" mused Jimmy. As much as he had his own brother in the service with him, he was still getting used to the whole 'your fire family is as close as your own flesh and blood family' idea.

Dawson glanced up, catching Casey's eye before thinking she might just stir the pot even more. "Guys, Tio Antonio wants Smudge to join CPD. You're all going to have to fight him for that right," she laughed.

"Oh hell no," Herrmann announced. "He is joining a fire eating family, none of this police business stuff," he commented looking around nodding at the entire 51 family. Even Mouch was nodding.

"Mouch, you might want to think carefully before agreeing," mentioned Casey. "Think what Platt would say."

Mouch's head stopped mid nod. He loved his wife, but everyone knew who wore the pants in that relationship. "No… no…" he stammered. "Kid's a fire eater… Trudy's just gonna have to accept that."

"Yeah… Riggghttt.." drawled Otis, a wide grin across his face.

"Not a chance. Trudy would never agree to that," a new voice joined the conversation. All the heads snapped towards the doorway to find Antonio standing a smirk upon his face. "My nephew is following his Tio into the CPD…"

"Nephew?" questioned Cruz, his eyes wide.

"The question is what's a Tio?" questioned Capp out of the side of his mouth to Herrmann who gave him a throaty chuckle.

"Oh, he knows nothing," clarified Dawson. Antonio gave her a smirk as he made his way over to his sister and brother-in-law. Placing a kiss on her cheek, she gave him a weird look, "What are you doing here 'Tonio?"

"I know you had an appointment yesterday and I told Mama I was going to see you to find out about it," he mentioned. Dawson furrowed her brow.

"I spoke to Mama this morning, she said nothing. We have dinner in a few weeks at their house anyway," she shot back

"Come now sis…"

"We don't know." Antonio grasped onto his sister's shoulder, eyes wide in shock, trying to read her face, was she having him on? His own sister Gabriela, she was the type that needed to know everything. Growing up, around Christmas time, a young Gabby would spend weeks pestering everyone and anyone who would listen to her trying to pry out the information of what her parents may have bought for her. There was no way that she hadn't found out what she was having. Gabby was so Type-A that she would need to know so that they could have everything ready. "What do you mean you don't know?" The house watched silently, their eyes following the interaction between the siblings, none of them too sure what was going to happen next.

"Exactly what I said hermano… We didn't find out."

"But…" he stuttered again.

"Antonio, what are you doing here? Even I know there's another reason," Casey interrupted, knowing that the Dawsons could go back and forth for hours without finding a solution. He had been caught in it a number of times, he never could work out where they both got their stamina from.

Antonio turned to look at him, breaking out of the glare he was shooting his sister. He had forgotten how well Casey had learnt to read him, the similarities between the married couple was actually a bit scary. "I'm here to see Chief Boden about a case… Chief - could I have a word?" Antonio questioned. Boden gave him a slight nod, motioning towards his office. He leant down to peck his sister on the cheek again, "Stay safe Sis," he mentioned before bumping shoulders with Casey, "Bro," he acknowledged, who nodded in reply.

Dawson glanced around as her brother left the common room and noticed that Brett was watching intently the retreating figure. "Hey," Dawson lowered her head and voice so that it was only the blonde who could hear, "Do _not_ go there… It's not a good idea… If I need to, we will talk about this later… Bad idea!" Brett flushed and looked away, muttering about how it was nothing like that. She shook her head, trying to convince Dawson that there was nothing in it, she was just admiring a physique and that was it. Obviously, Antonio was a good looking man, as was many of the other officers who worked in the Intelligence unit, but she would never think of him in that particular light ever.

"So," Severide walked over to clap Casey on the shoulder, "What are you having?"

"We don't know," Casey repeated.

"What?"

"We didn't find out," Casey drawled slowly as if saying it slower might mean that the Squad member would be able to understand.

"Why?" Otis joined in. "Why wouldn't you find out?"

"There are few surprises left in this world," Dawson took over. "We decided a long time ago that we weren't going to find out." She looked around at the many shocked faces that looked back at her. They knew it was the popular choice for many couples to find out whether they were having a boy or girl, but after everything they had been through they just wanted Smudge to be healthy. "What?" she snapped at them, "Are you going to love our child any less if we have the gender you weren't expecting? If we don't have a boy who joins Truck or Squad, then that's not okay?" she shrieked, clearly agitated.

"Hey, hey…" Casey whispered bending down to her level. He ran a soothing hand along her back. "They're probably just surprised is all."

"Yeah, Mama." Cruz was the first to make his way over to her. "We're just excited for you. Doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl… Either way, they're gonna have a kick ass mother," he told her. Dawson looked up and gave him a smile.

"That's right," added Herrmann. "Kid's going to be a welcome addition to the family, no matter what."

"But you're hoping for a boy, right?" whispered Severide cheekily in Casey's direction. "What?" he mouthed as Dawson kicked him in the shins. "It was a joke!" he defended himself. Casey could only shake his head as he heard the tones ring.

"You'll never learn, will you Sev?"

 _~ She may have thin eyebrows and is sprouting some hair on her head ~_

* * *

 **As always huge hugs to Rebecca, especially this week x**

 **Thanks for reading, let me know what you think** **~Em**


	19. Week 21 - Shopping with Mama

**I can't quite believe that next week is going to the winter finale... Where has the beginning of the season gone? Christmas is also fast approaching - not to mention we have only got 2 weeks of school left, we had orientation the last two days and I'm exhausted.**

 **Rebecca - thank you so much for the editing and reading. And I'm sorry... You'll understand soon.**

* * *

 _~ Week Twenty One ~_

 _~ Candidate is as long as a carrot ~_

Adriana juggled a big box as she tried to ring the doorbell. Grumbling under her breath in Spanish, she gave the door two swift kicks in lieu of ringing the bell. A few moments later, she tapped on the door again.

Hearing a similar grumble also in her mother tongue, the door was flung open to reveal her daughter. She was a bit taken back when she noticed that Gabby was only dressed in a pair of yoga pants and what looked like an old CFD shirt, one that was faded and well worn, one she presumed was Matt's. She didn't think she had ever really seen Gabby quite so dressed down, or even seen her in Matt's clothes ever - especially not answering the door like that.

"Gabriela Casey, what are you wearing?" Adriana asked incredulously as she entered their house.

"What?" Gabby questioned looking down at what she was wearing. She knew that she hadn't tamed her wild curls, Matt especially loved that look. Gabby knew it drove him wild, so she had left it down at every opportunity she had. "I'm comfortable," she defended herself. "Why are you here Mama? Not that I'm not happy to see you," she added quickly.

"Mama," Matt greeted her coming out of the kitchen to place a kiss on her cheek. "What do you have there?" he questioned motioning to items that she held in her hands.

"I brought Asopao de Pollo for Matthew."

"Chicken and rice pottage, it's a stew," whispered Gabby to a confused looking Matt. She gave a slight chuckle, "Honestly Matt just nod your head and eat. It's much easier."

"Thank you Mama, that's so nice of you to think of us." He took the larger parcel from her.

"Mama," Gabby admonished a little louder so her mother could hear. "I can cook and look after my own husband," she grumbled as she took the container from her mother to place into the fridge.

"I overcooked last night and Antonio did not come to dinner. So I dropped some off at the police district for him and brought the rest here."

"What about Papá?"

"Oh," Adriana brushed her off. "He doesn't need any more more food."

Matt watched on with a grin on his face, the Dawson ladies could go back and forth with the best of them. "So Mama," he interrupted. "What's this?" he pointed to the light parcel he had placed on the kitchen countertop.

"Oh…" Adriana came to stand next to him at the bench. "A friend of mine was telling me about this item that a friend of her daughter had received. Open it Gabriela. I thought it would be perfect for your nursery."

Gabby gave her a weird look, eyebrows raised before ripping open the parcel. "Mama…" she gasped turning to seize her mother in a long hug. Adriana had given them an ultrasound canvas - it was a black canvas with six photos mounted on, three from their first ultrasound and three from their twenty weeks one, however, it was only half filled.

"There's enough room for another six photos from your next appointments," she advised.

"It's perfect, thank you Mama. It will have pride of place in Smudge's room," Gabby thanked her mother, running a finger of each of the images.

"I was thinking we could have coffee and cake - you know like we used to do before you grew up and left the house," Adriana laughed slightly.

"Mama," Gabby whined rubbing her lower belly, "I can't drink coffee."

"Ok, hot chocolate and cake then…" she insisted

Gabby squinted at her mother and then gave her husband a long glance, there was something about the body language of both the people in front of her that screamed conspiring. "Have you two being talking?" she questioned, narrowing her eyes at them.

Whilst she had heard horrible stories about not getting on with in-laws, she was lucky that she had never that issue. At one point she had wondered if Matt was ever going to fit into the Dawson family - she didn't need to be told how close the family of four were. Breaking into that could be hard. She hadn't been an adult when Laura had joined the family so the memories were somewhat hazy and she was sure that she had shielded from some of the first interactions with the two 'couples' – she couldn't quite remember how her parents had first taken to a new addition to their family. They couldn't help it, they were a close family. Anytime they are all been able to go to her Aunt's big family Christmas function, the four of them would end up huddled in a corner, backs to the rest of the guests, shutting them out and enjoying themselves. It was hard to let anyone into that. But much like he had charmed his way into her heart, he had done the same thing to her mother. She would never admit it, but Adriana Dawson had not taken Antonio's divorce well, she had loved Laura like another daughter and it had crushed her when she had decided to leave Antonio and take the children. Matt had been aware of this and he knew that the way into the Dawson family was to ensure that Gabby's mother liked him. Once he had passed that test, her father would come on board to accepting Gabby's partner. Plus it did help that Antonio knew him and liked him. Both Gabby and Matt knew that he had been supporting their cause from the start too.

But times like this, one where she was sure they had been chatting about her behind her back, she just wasn't too sure. "Mama, I'm your daughter. You're supposed to love me more, not Matt."

The pair laughed as Matt moved to put his arm around her shoulder and drew her into his side. "Nonsense Gabriela. I love you and your brother and Matthew all the same." Gabby scoffed at the sentiment.

"Okay… Let's get this over with…" she sighed.

Matt gave her a wink and a smile, "That's more like it Babe." Smiling he gently shoved her towards the stairs and sent her on her way with a small pat on the behind.

* * *

Gabby sighed for the umpteenth time since she and her mother had arrived at Water Town Place. Tugging at her shirt she exhaled once more. Matt's clothes had definitely become more comfortable in the last week. The only other items that were comfortable were her work clothes, not that she could wear those out shopping though. Although she had worn a pair of stretch pants, a tank top layered with one of Matt's button downs to Molly's last night.

"Mama, where did you want to have coffee?" Gabby questioned looking around at the shops that were seemingly quiet. This was one of her favourite parts of her job, those two days off she had meant that she didn't need to go shopping with the larger crowds on the weekends.

"I was thinking we should find you some new clothes," commented Adriana. Gabby groaned, she should have known. Of course, they were going clothes shopping. Gabby knew she needed clothes, but she was in denial. Matt's clothes were comfy enough for the moment, she didn't need more clothes for at least another few weeks. "Come now Gabriela, no point ignoring it. You need clothes."

They started their journey in Macy's, where Gabby was able to purchase a stack of basic items that would make up her 'maternity capsule'. Gabby used to like clothes shopping - but knowing that they would have many expenses coming up over the next few months, no scratch that, over the coming years, it made it really hard to be spending money on clothes that she would only be wearing for a relatively short time. All of that in mind she had simply bought shirts in larger sizes.

"Gabby, we passed A Pea in the Pod when we came in earlier. Why don't we look in there? I'm sure they'll have some nice pieces in there."

"Mama," Gabby started slowly, cogs turning in her mind. "Mama, it's expensive in there. How long am I going to be even wearing these clothes for anyway?"

"Pish," Adriana shushed her as they started to walk towards the store. "There's a sale on and you deserve some nice items," she corralled her daughter, tugging at her arms, effectively pulling her in.

It was overwhelming to Gabby to see the range that was available to her. Everywhere she looked there was something different to look at, clothes, sleepwear, dresses, jeans and then there was a section for baby gifts with bags galore. This was like starting her wardrobe from the beginning again.

"Well clothing has certainly come a long way since I was expecting you," Adriana mentioned as she walked towards a display of dresses. Gabby had to agree, she still had this idea in her mind that so many dresses, or even clothes in general, were just large tents, but there were certainly been nothing like that in this store.

Gabby's wide eyes drew the attention of a sale assistant who would have only been a few years older than herself who took pity on her. "Can I help you?" she kindly asked.

"She needs some clothes that will fit her," Adriana filled in for her daughter. "First time pregnancy and we're just not sure where to start."

The sale assistant nodded along, "Okay, let's start simple," she started leading them towards the shirts. "Here is my suggestion after two children, when are you due if I can ask?"

"Mid April… I'm not looking at buying too much though… No matter what my mother says," she added as an afterthought.

The lady laughed slightly, "So I would start by thinking that you'll be most pregnant during winter, which isn't a terrible thing. At least you won't be sweltering through summer with an extra heater. I suggest a few basic needs and then a few must haves. But stick to things that you would normally wear. If you don't normally wear pink, don't start now… I'm assuming that you've been raiding your partner's wardrobe?"

"That's why she's here…" teased Adriana. "Gabby has always enjoyed clothes shopping. But I am sure that my son-in-law would like his clothes back."

"Mama," Gabby hissed trying to hide her face in embarrassment.

"Oh, no need. I actually think it's a good thing. For the first few months, I don't believe in spending a heap of money when you can just borrow stuff. You honestly don't need a bundle of stuff," she advised. "So for today can I suggest certain silhouettes are especially becoming on your changing form: A-line shifts, empire-waist dresses and tops, and pencil skirts paired with swingy shirts. For a sporty, hip look that showcases your "bump," pair low-rise pants with a fitted tee. Stretchy gauchos create a trim, neat silhouette, topped by a loose peasant-style top. And just about any style made out of slinky, stretchy fabrics can go the distance right up to delivery day… Not to mention for a while afterwards if needed."

Gabby nodded along taking in the store a few items catching her eye. She nodded towards a long stretchy dress that was on a mannequin in the corner. Adriana noticed and walked over to check it out.

"I'll let you have a look around at your own place. Last bit of advice - Invest in a few items that will grow with you. Look for pieces that have details like ruching, tie-backs, buttons or gathering at the sides, and wraps, which will all let you adjust your clothing as your body grows and changes. A wrap dress is always a good idea too," she finished. Gabby nodded in thanks as she started towards her mother. By that time Adriana had an armful of clothes.

"Gabriela, I've been reading on my phone." Gabby groaned inwardly. She had told Antonio that their mother with a smartphone was never going to ever end well. She was always looking at something, what did they say, 'a little information was dangerous?' That was Adriana Dawson. "I've been reading," she started again ignoring the look that her daughter was giving her. "Apparently at least 75% of your clothes should be the foundation of your daily wear. These items should include basic maternity tank tops, camisoles and t-shirts, maternity jeans, at least one maternity dress, a pair of black, dressy slacks and maternity leggings," she read off of her phone.

"Does it say anything about parents with phones?" Gabby muttered under her breath. Adriana looked over at her, a questioning look on her face. "Nothing Mama…" Without another word, she took the clothes her mother handed her and trudged into the changing room. "Just find me some nice shirts please Mama… I don't need much more," she called back. As uncomfortable as she felt at the moment, she did genuinely enjoy shopping with her mother, she always had. Adriana had good taste, so since they were maternity shopping it meant that Gabby was able to just sit in the fitting rooms and only try on clothes. Saved a lot of mileage on her feet for which she was grateful for.

By the time she and her mother had finished, Gabby had ended up with new jeans, a couple of pairs of leggings, a few sweaters that would grow with her and a stack of ruched t-shirts. Not forgetting the belly band which the sales assistant had insisted that would be a lifesaver.

"Gabriela," Adriana started as they took a step in Starbucks. The smell of coffee hit Gabby in the face and she deeply breathed in the scent. Gabby had never been a big tea drinker, honestly when she fell pregnant and had to give up coffee it had been a big struggle. But at the moment Smudge seemed to like tea and it was the only thing she was craving.

"Mama," she interrupted. "Can you get a Chestnut Praline Latte or the Caramel Brulee? Please?" she begged. "I just want to inhale the scent." Adriana laughed and nodded her head, remembering both the inability to drink coffee and her daughter's love for the beverage. "And can I get a London Fog Tea please? And something with chocolate? I just need to sit down…"

Adriana smiled knowingly and allowed Gabby to take the numerous bags from her.

"Gabriela," she expressed when she finally sat down. "I found a caramel brulee steamer for you, it's just steamed milk, no caffeine. Something seasonal for you and I asked for tea in a takeaway cup…" she advised as she placed the numerous items on the table. Sitting down, she kept speaking, "I also bought something else for you too." She fished out another bag from her handbag.

"Mama?"

"Something for you to wear if you and Matthew decided to go out…" Gabby gave her mother a confused look as she withdrew two black dresses from the bag.

"Mama, this is too much. This would have cost a fortune," she told her mother whilst wiping a tear from her eye. Adriana had bought her a crossover wrap dress that Gabby knew she would be able to wear all the way to the end. But it was the second dress that made Gabby gasp - it was a slightly more formal dress that Gabby knew she would be able to wear to any political event that she may need to attend with Matt or just even if they decided to go out for dinner. It was a short sleeve dress that she knew would look good with a black jacket, it had a delicate lace overlay with beading at the neckline. "Mama, it's perfect," she declared as she leant over to hug her mother and place a kiss on her cheek.

"Not done yet… Keep looking." Gabby dug further into the bag, wondering what else her mother had spent her money on. What she found was a small sized hare and tortoise footie.

"Mama," she breathed. It was the first baby article they had received. "It's so little," she commented. She couldn't believe that Smudge would ever fit into this.

"You were that small once," Adriana reminded her. Gabby shook her head as she dug into her chocolate brownie. Chewing thoughtfully she carefully spooned some of the cream that was on top of her steamer and placed in on her brownie. Scooping more into her mouth, Gabby was unable to hold back a small moan, she definitely needed the sugar hit.

"I have been craving so much sugar these past few weeks," she confessed as she opened her eyes to find her mother silently laughing at her.

"You know there's an old wives tale that says if you are craving sugar you are expecting a girl. For a boy, it's a craving of sour and salty foods."

"Mama - you know that's an old wives tale, you just said so yourself. They are almost always never right."

"Maybe, maybe not. When I was expecting Antonio I only wanted spicy food and your abuela was convinced he was going to be a boy. She was right."

"What about with me?" Gabby hadn't heard many stories about either of Adriana's pregnancies. In all of the books that she had been reading had contained so many warnings that mothers tended to become overprotective and over opinionated about everything when their daughters became pregnant, but so far Adriana hadn't been too involved. Gabby knew she was excited but had never mentioned anything. Adriana looked over and observed the wheels spinning in Gabby's mind.

"Gabriela?" she encouraged.

"Mama… We've always been close. Why haven't you offered any of your opinions about Smudge?" Gabby vocalised.

Adriana sighed. Both her mother and Miguel's mother had been over involved when she had been expecting Antonio and Gabby. She herself had felt that she had never been able to have her own choices without being criticised or questioned. And she had vowed to herself that when it was her daughter she would wait to be asked or invited in. "Gabby, sweetheart. Child rearing has changed in recent decades, and I don't know how it is different now. Both of your abuelas were appalled with my decisions when I was pregnant with you, my own mother disapproved of how long I breastfed for. And your father's mother constantly told me that I was spoiling the baby because I picked you up every time you cried. They never remembered what I had gone through between the time I had Antonio and then you, I knew you were going to be my last baby and I wanted to enjoy all of those moments with you. You turned out okay."

"Mama I'm looking forward to being a momma, it's almost that Matt and I have waited and longed for this for many years. But I appreciate your years of experience. I still want to be able to come to you for advice," Gabby began.

"Of course you can hija. You know that your father and I are here for you and Matthew anytime you need. Bebé will be very much loved. We will drop anything for you and Antonio," she assured Gabby.

"Did Laura have it all together?" Gabby suddenly enquired. At Adriana's raised eyebrow, Gabby started to explain herself. "I look around and I see people who seem to have it all under control. As we've been shopping I've been watching young mothers with their children… And I don't know, it's just…" she confessed.

"Often the mothers would look they have it together are the ones in need of the most help," observed Adriana. "Laura and Antonio made mistakes and they learnt from them. You and Matthew don't need to have everything perfect or know everything before your child arrives. You will go on a journey learning together. And hija, you are going to be okay. I know you will," assured her mother grasping onto her hand giving it a tight reassuring squeeze.

* * *

It had been a quiet shift. Squad were playing poker and Truck were around the TV watching whatever game was being shown, it generally meant that people had been able to have some downtime. So it had surprised Gabby when Brett announced, "I could do with a nap when we get back," as they left the house. Even they hadn't been out too many times that shift. Gabby had spent most of the shift resting on her bunk.

"Or I could show you those photos of the new clothes that I got," enticed Dawson, knowing that it was important to keep Brett awake - if Brett fell asleep there was every chance that she would too. Whilst she had definitely felt more energy recently, watching someone else sleep tended to elicit the same reaction from her.

"How is that going to help me?" Brett questioned rubbing her eyes tiredly.

"Well I went shopping with Mama yesterday, you know 'cause nothing fits me anymore," Dawson told her with disgust in her voice. This did perk Brett up for a moment, she had overheard Casey mentioning to Severide and Herrmann that it was his fault that Dawson had to go buy new clothes and that she had ripped him a new one when he had even mentioned it. Herrmann had still been teasing him about it two or three hours into the shift. So it did surprise her that Dawson was bringing up the fact that she had even gone shopping for new clothes, it had been a sensitive subject for the past few weeks.

"Oh?" she questioned.

Dawson gave a her a sideways look, "Okay, I know that I've been touchy about it. Has Casey been shooting his mouth off again?"

"Well...Umm…" Brett started, not sure what she was supposed to say here.

"It's okay," laughed Dawson, "I know that I haven't been the easiest person to be around. And I'm sure that he called Mama to even take me out. I know I needed new clothes, I didn't want new clothes…"

" _You_ didn't want new clothes?" Brett question disbelievingly.

"Well, these new clothes. But we managed to find some really nice pieces that should grow with me…"

Brett had to stifle a giggle as she took in the surroundings. "Wow, nice neighbourhood," commented Brett. "In all of my years here in Chicago, I've never been out here."

"Yeah," Dawson replied looking around over the houses in a quiet residential part only just inside their coverage area. It was an area of town with smaller, yet well-kept homes where people tend to live in their houses for a long time. "People in these types of areas tend to use a private ambo service, not usually the CFD."

Brett hummed in reply as she pulled up to a single-story home. Dawson climbed out of the rig, taking in her surroundings as she grabbed her jump bag. That's when she noticed it; the house they had been dispatched to was smaller than some of the others around it and didn't seem to be kept up as nice as the other homes. The lawn looked as if it had been mowed recently, but the bushes hadn't been trimmed, the sidewalk hadn't been edged, and everything just looked to be overgrown. Overall the house seemed to be suffering from deferred maintenance all around and everything was showing its weather-worn age. Dawson was actually a bit surprised that the surrounding neighbours hadn't stepped in and done something about this worn down old house. She knew that some of these more to-do places took yard maintenance seriously, too seriously truth be told.

Dawson reached out a gloved hand to stop Brett who was mid walk up the driveway. "Look," she pointed at the windows which were all covered up with blankets on the inside. As they approach the house, they both found that those blankets were preventing either of them getting a look into the house, this didn't stop Brett however from at least trying to get some sort of look in. She peered in for a moment, trying every possible angle to see something, anything.

"Hello!" Dawson called out, "Someone ring for an ambulance?" her voice slightly raised. Knocking at the door and windows, she came back towards the door and tried giving it a slight shove. But the door stood fast. "I don't like the look of this Brett," she warned, giving the door another kick.

"Let's try the back, maybe there will be a back entrance," advised Brett as she began to haul the trolley back with her. As they reached the backyard both women noticed that it was in even further disrepair than the front yard. Broken and decaying wooden furniture lay scattered across the yard, a rusty fridge near the back door and overgrown weeds lined the pathway. This was definitely not normal for this type of neighbourhood. Brett called out again, both girls straining their ears to hear for something.

A weak voice yelled back, "Use the back door." Dawson went racing up the stairs and attempted to open the back door, but it just wasn't moving. Turning back around to face Brett, she contemplated what it was she needed to do. Normally she wouldn't think anything of kicking the door in, much like she would have when she was still on Truck, but she didn't think that was such a good idea now. Still on instinct she turned and pulled her foot back.

"Dawson!" Brett warned, "Don't you dare!" she finished as she walked up next to Dawson and gave the door a good shove. With a second shove and a kick, Brett managed to open the door a fraction. She wedged a boot in the door and used it as leverage to push it open further. Dawson took a step into the kitchen that was just off of the back door. She surveyed the inside of the house and suddenly understood why their patient had called for them to come in the back door and why there had been no way they would have made it in the front door. The house was practically barricaded from the inside and there was no way it could have ever been opened.

"Woah," whispered Brett as she joined Dawson in the kitchen. "This place can't have been cleaned for years. Might even be a candidate for that TV show, what was it called? Umm… Hoarders."

"If not that, then it would have to be in the running to win the most cobwebs in a house award. Especially in that corner," whispered back Dawson all the while glancing around at the many corners of the house that could do with a spring clean. Raising her voice she called out, "Hello… Paramedics!"

Moving forward Brett nudged Dawson as they reached the living room. The home's lone person was a young male, one who Dawson would have placed in his mid twenties. He sat on the couch in the middle of the living room, wearing a dirty fraying t-shirt and threadbare slacks, all with the television playing in the background. He appeared emaciated, dirty and from where Dawson stood in the entryway to the room it seemed to her as he was on some sort of high. Being the person she was she placed herself in front of Brett, knowing that it was her job as PIC to take the lead.

"Sir?" she questioned getting slightly closer. She felt Brett's hand on her back in an attempt to stop her. Dawson turned briefly to look at her partner, making a minute gesture with her hands, it was all okay. She wasn't putting herself in harm's way, rather she was getting on with and doing her job. "Sir," she tried again, "My name is Gabby Ca..Dawson," she faltered for a moment. "I'm a paramedic with the Chicago Fire Department…"

"I'm Paul," replied the weak voice.

"Ok, hi Paul. This is my partner Sylvie Brett, did you ring the emergency line?"

Their patient nodded, still not looking either of them in the face. Rather he was more interested in a spot on the ceiling, his eyes darting back and forth.

"Have the chair lift ready, I think we'll need to take him into Med," Dawson murmured.

"WHAT? No hospitals," ordered Paul snapping to and glaring at the girls.

"Ok, ok," Dawson held her hands up as she advanced forward. "So why did you call for an ambulance?"

"I'm sick."

"Ok," Brett rounded the other side of Paul and started to check their patient out.

"I'm just going to check your pulse, is that okay Paul?" questioned Dawson as she reached for his hand. Upon contact Dawson noticed that his skin was clammy. "Would you grab a temp for me Brett?" she questioned. She had a theory, he needed to get to a hospital, combining a high with a racing heart.

"What?" Paul questioned. Dawson held up a finger, shushing him as she concentrated on his pulse. His racing heart worried her, all the more because he was sitting calmly on the couch, when it was racing, would have to be going at least 120 beats. He should be struggling… But nothing.

"Tachycardic," she announced to Brett a concerned look flashing over his face. "Temp?"

"Over 100," confirmed Brett.

"Okay, Paul we need to get you to Chicago Med," Dawson told the young man in front of them. His eyes went wide at the thought, there was no way he was going out of this house.

"No… NO!"

"Paul," started Brett. Paul turned to face her, his teeth showing causing her to take a step back.

"No. I know I'm sick, but I don't want to go to any hospital."

Dawson nodded and tugged on Brett's arm. Stepping away Brett looked at her eyes wide. "We need to get him to the hospital," her voice low. "He's tachycardic, has a fever, and has skin tenting which is suggesting dehydration to me." Brett nodded along in agreement.

"What are you whispering about?" Paul demanded.

"Paul - look I'm going to be straight with you here. You've got a fever, which I could give you something for. But I'm more concerned by your tachycardia."

"What's that?" he snapped.

"Your heart is racing, it's going well over 100 beats a minute. But Paul there is nothing I can do about that here in your home. You need to go to the hospital."

"I don't want to go to hospital - I won't!"

"Look!" Dawson snapped, she wasn't taking any nonsense from this patient. She didn't care if he was high and suspicious. "Tachycardia can seriously disrupt normal heart function, increase the risk of stroke, or cause sudden cardiac arrest or death. There is nothing that we can do for you here. We _are_ going to Chicago Med."

* * *

The guy lay as still as he could, cracking an eye open every few moments. He couldn't believe that he was in the back of an Ambo on his way to a hospital. He had never wanted to leave the house, yet here he was. He lay watching, waiting for Dawson to turn her back. He wondered was this a woman who was going to hinder him getting out, would she be someone that he needed to fight. From what he remembered from the house, it was her who had insisted that he be taken away from his home. He didn't want to be taken away. But that Latina woman had insisted that he wasn't well and he needed to see someone. It was causing his blood to boil, he didn't need to see no doctor. He just wanted his high and his own home back. How dare they take him from his ?

Letting his head lull to the side, he fully opened his eyes to take the paramedic in. Would he be able to get past her without any problems? His stress levels rose as he heard the blonde girl's voice ring out.

"Dawson, we're coming up on Med," called out Brett. Dawson replied in affirmation as she did one final check of the monitors as she felt the rig start to slow down, signalling to her that they must be pulling up to Chicago Med.

"Okay - if you haven't already, can you radio in about the lack of IV ? I just couldn't find vein stable enough with the needles we have," urged Dawson. "Med can hang one."

Paul's stress levels climbed even higher, what was this chick going to stick in him? What was going to be going into his body? The flight-fight response started to bubble within him, he needed to get out of here. There would be nothing stopping him, not even that annoying paramedic. Opening his eyes wider still and coming off a high he noticed that Dawson was pregnant. Oh that stupid woman wouldn't be able to stop him now. All he had to do was scoot past her and he would be home free.

As the Ambo came to a complete stop, Dawson slid over to move the gurney out of the Ambo when he swung his legs off the bed and under hers. Dawson wasn't able to react as she fell to the floor, a loud gasp coming from her. She attempted to stagger to her feet and reach out for her patient's pant leg. Grasping on, he turned on her at his full height and shoved her backwards. There was no stopping him. Gabby was stuck, she wasn't able to retreat backwards or do anything to protect herself. Free falling in the back of the rig, Dawson slid on the cold floor, managing only to fling an arm around her belly in an attempt to protect Smudge as her belly caught a sharp edge of something in the back. Her head came into contact with the floor with a sickening thud.

"Dawson?" Brett's voice floated into the back having heard the commotion. Paul gave a sick smile as the unconscious form lying on the floor before turning and kicking open the door, nearly taking out Brett in the process. "Hey?" Brett jumped back, narrowly avoiding having a metal door hit her in her the face. "Hey!" she thought about taking off running after him before thinking to look back into the Ambo.

She nearly screamed as she saw Dawson sprawled on the floor, blood on the floor. She climbed in, "GABBY!" Another scream caught in her throat as she reached Dawson, discovering that there was a deep red wet patch soaking through her shirt, right above her pelvic bone on the left side.

"Brett?" Doctor. Choi's voice broke through her trance. Obviously, her body was covering most of the scene and Choi had yet to have noticed Dawson.

"Doctor. Choi, get me Doctor. Manning, Dawson's been injured and she's bleeding," Brett spoke in a rush as she found gauze to place over Dawson's wound. "Come on Gabby, you can't do this… Matt will never forgive me… Come on Gabs, you need to open your eyes up… please!" she pleaded, tearing pouring down her face.

 _~ His skin now responds to touch. If you put pressure on your belly, he'll move away or push back ~_

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed the latest week ~Em**


	20. Week 22 - Birthday

**Yes, this is late. We had a critical incident at school a few weeks ago. Four days left and counting!**

 **I cannot thank Rebecca enough for everything – for being an ear for not only CF but allowing me to vent about things. And for not spoiling the most awesome episode of Fire ever – all I got from her was 'yes you need to watch it and you'll want to watch it again and again' Yes R you were right and I've watched it many many times since. Thank you for editing this chapter. And I apologise to you now for making you tear up over this chapter.**

 **Shout out to Jewel2687 who pretty much hit the nail on the head about this chapter in her review for Week 21 and for all the lovely chats.  
**

 **And to ChicagoLover who in her own words has been '(im)patiently waiting for this update' and reminded me at least twice over the weekend about it.**

 **Disclaimer – I obviously didn't write the song. That was Westlife's 'Swear It Again'. If you ever want a good cry listen to their song 'I'll See You Again'**

 **I hope you like this chapter – I poured my heart and soul into the chapter. If you are enjoying it, please actually let me know in a review or some other way** **~ Em**

* * *

 _Week Twenty Two_

 _~ Candidate is the size of a papaya ~_

Matt found that sleep had slowly started to leave him, an air of fog starting to dissipate. The sheets surrounding him were cold. Without cracking an eyelid open, he reached for his watch to find the time. Groping around on the night stand, he couldn't feel his watch. Finally, he decided he needed to open his eyes, and he came face to face with their wedding photo, a soft toy and water bottle. This wasn't his side of the bed. Turning over fully, he looked around from his laying position on the bed to find himself alone in the room. Scary as it was, he had become used to this.

Groaning slightly Matt stretched out his limbs enjoying the feeling of his muscles relaxing. There hadn't been much of that over the past week. Not that anyone at Firehouse 51 didn't already know, but the past week had confirmed to Matt that those chairs that were both in the waiting room and within the rooms themselves were the some of the most uncomfortable chairs known to Chicago. It had been a long, long week for the Casey family, one that Matt wasn't going to be able to move past for a long time to come. Thinking back on it all last night was the first time in over a week that he had even been able to get a decent night's sleep. Stretching out his back one more time he pulled himself up into a seated position, shivering slightly at the cold he felt without a shirt on. They had predicted that 1 to 3 inches of snow would be headed to the Chicago area over the coming week and the temperatures had started to drop further and further. It might be time to pull out those thick puffer jackets.

Finally, after giving his eyes one final rub and running his hand over his face he dragged himself out of bed and over to the chest of drawers to find a t-shirt to wear. He gave a small chuckle to himself as he opened the drawer to find that his t-shirts had been once again reorganised, Gabby had obviously had been on an organisation spree last week when she had come home after her shopping expedition with her mother and had a go at his closet as well. This time she had seemingly gone with organising by colour - last time it had been by her favourites, so many of the blue colours had been close to the front. Knowing that, he pulled out the first light blue shirt he could find. Slipping it over his head he tugged at the sleeves to make sure that they were as down as far as they could be - he was going to need to check the thermostat and heat the house up slightly. In the back of his mind he knew that his phone had an app to change the temperature, he just never remembered to use it. This house came with so many bells and whistles and he could never remember them all - Gabby had been so much better with it all.

As he made his way out of the closet, an item that had been placed on the bedroom armchair caught his eye. It was the canvas from Adriana and Miguel - it still needed to be hung up. Matt took a deep breath as he picked it up. What was he to do with it now? It couldn't stay in this bedroom for any longer.

Gabby had mentioned in passing very early in the week previous that she wanted to change a bedroom into Smudge's nursery. Matt had been initially very surprised; he just hadn't thought about it. They had such a big master bedroom that he hadn't thought very far past Smudge sleeping in their room. He just figured that they would move the armchairs out and it would honestly be big enough for a crib and change table. They still hadn't really had a conversation about all of the particulars about it all, she hadn't even told him which room she wanted to use for Smudge. However, without telling her, he had roped in Kelly and Antonio one afternoon last week, the day after Adriana had come around with the present, and they had cleared out the room next to their own. Yes, it had a balcony with a door leading out to it, but Antonio had assured him that they could quite easily baby proof the room, in particular that door, as well as the rest of the house. Sighing resignedly Matt picked up the picture and slipped into the room.

Taking in the scene around himself, he looked at the fairly empty room. All that was left was an armchair, a chest of drawers and bookcase. Easing himself into the chair he allowed himself the opportunity to think about what might have been, an opportunity that he hadn't allowed himself at all since he had heard about the accident at Chicago Med. He let his mind wander about how the nursery would look like - how much input would he have? He really wanted to make their own nursery furniture, nothing big or over the top, just the crib, change table and possibly even a rocking chair. Antonio and Kelly laughed openly in his face when he had first mentioned it when they were moving furniture, but Kelly had ended up finding plans online to what seemed to be an easy enough rocking chair. Antonio had even offered his spare room for Matt to build it so they could keep it as a surprise for Gabby, although he had stopped short of offering to help with it. That would have only ended in disaster. Kelly did offer his help, after the job he had managed to help with at the school library he fancied himself okay with all sorts of tools.

Matt had laughed and taken both of them up on their offers, he had been planning on finding some darker wood for the nursery. With the openness of this room he thought that a dark wood would work well in this room. The two friends of Matt had gone back and forth about the decorating of the room. Matt, himself had been in two minds about it - on one hand he had told them that it was going to be really Gabby's choice as to how the nursery was going to be decorated but that hadn't stopped either Antonio or Kelly who were fighting over whether to have a firefighting theme or police theme. But on the second hand Matt was supporting Kelly's argument of having a firefighting theme. Christie had sent him a photo last week of something that she had found on pinterest - it had been a sticker for the wall of a firehose that was connected to a fire hydrant and was spurting water from the nozzle. As an added bonus the name on the image that Christie had found was 'Case', it was like it was made for them. Matt hadn't been able to show it to Gabby yet, but it was something that he definitely wanted in Smudge's room.

Tapping the edge of the canvas thoughtfully he just couldn't bring himself to hang it on the wall - not just yet. Rather he figured that it would be much easier to leave it leant up against the wall, standing there until the time was just right. Rolling up this sleeve slightly to give him access to his watch he noticed that it was much later than he would have expected. It was time to have a shower and actually get moving for the day.

After a long and hot shower Matt reached out for his cell phone after noticing the persistent flashing light. There were numerous messages from family - both his and Gabby's as well as a few from the fire house. Scrolling through the notifications he made a mental note to reply to a few later in the day and ring some others. Noticing a particular name and message caused his breath to hitch and he was instantly transported back to when Boden had received the call that something had happened to Gabby and how everything had unfolded afterwards

 _*Flashback*_

 _It had been a slow day the type where the only calls were for Ambo. Casey snuck Dawson one last 'Matt' smile as Ambo were called out for yet another call. 'Stay safe,' he mouthed as she squeezed his shoulder on the way out. It was the little touches that they still had, for the most part they were the utmost professionals. They still were two of the officers at Firehouse 51 and no one coming in was to be any the wiser to their relationship._

 _Ambo had been gone for a long while when Casey had decided that it was time to do something other than sit and watch TV. He ended up sending the Truck Company out to do drills and Mouch and Otis had spent most of the hour complaining that it was freezing. Kidd had even made a crack about certain people, who should remain nameless, that obviously needed to release some pent up energy._

" _Oi Otis, put your back into it!" shouted Cruz from edge of the apparatus floor._

" _Don't see any of you squad guys doing this," he retorted breathing heavily as the ladder came back down to the ground. Cruz would only laugh in response. "Hey Lieutenant why is it that we're the only ones doing something?"_

" _We all know that those Squad guys couldn't do all of these drills… They would pass out after a few moments of lugging these ladders around," Herrmann joked._

" _Come on… Switch around, let's go again," ordered Casey as Severide too abandoned the poker game to see what was happening. "Mouch at the end, Kidd up the front this time… Borelli you're in this time, switch out with Herrmann. Move!"_

" _Lieutenant Casey!" came Boden's voice from the doorway that lead directly into the hallways. There was something in their chief's voice that made everyone stop and look, even Severide took a few steps out of the safety of the apparatus floor and out into the cool wind without a thick jacket on. Casey looked Boden straight in the eye trying to see if he could work out what was going on. But Boden's eyes gave away nothing. "A word in my office."_

 _Casey slowly made his way towards the door after ordering Herrmann to take over for him. A somber mood had overtaken the entire house. Had it not been for that, Herrmann or Mouch might have made some crack about Casey being in some sort of trouble. Boden waited for Casey to pass him before motioning with a few fingers for Severide to join them._

" _Chief?" Casey questioned as he nodded at Severide who had quietly slipped into the room._

" _Casey..." Boden sighed audibly. Casey narrowed his eyes at the chief, his senses tingling. That tone was just evidence that something wasn't right at all. Boden came to stop in front of Casey, "Casey..." his voice slow and deliberate as he brought a hand down on the younger man's shoulder, "I've had a call from Med. There's been an incident with Ambo 61…"_

" _Is Gabby okay?" Casey questioned hurriedly, his blood pressure rising. He could hear the blood rushing in his ears. Boden gave Severide a worried look with a quick shake of his head, a motion that wasn't missed by Casey. "What? What is it?"_

" _Matt, I don't know. I've only spoken to Maggie."_

" _What aren't you telling me?" demanded Matt. Behind his back Severide nodded encouragingly at the Battalion Chief._

" _All that I've been told is that Gabby's been injured… Wait Casey," he stopped his truck lieutenant from rushing headlong out of the door. "We don't know what has happened. But she's a fighter…" Exchanging one last glance with Severide, an unspoken conversation passed between to two. Fear flooded through Casey as he was instantly transported back to the last time he had received a phone call from Boden telling him that she had collapsed, not knowing what had happened with Gabby. In his mind it was happening all over again. He just couldn't go through that again, they had come too far. He couldn't, wouldn't do it again._

" _Come on Case - I'll take you to Med. That wife and baby of yours are going to be fine. Sure it's nothing. They're probably just taking extra care with the candidate of yours," reassured Severide as he steered his shell-shocked friend out of the office._

" _We're right behind you Kelly," Boden stated. Huffing, Boden watched his two officers disappear out of view. Moving fast he rounded up the rest of the house to get them on the road to Med._

 _*End flashback*_

He sighed deepily as he pocketed his phone. He would deal with all of those messages later.

* * *

Matt slowly made his way downstairs, when around halfway down he smelt something cooking. That couldn't be right. Turning the corner, he stopped to drink in the sight of Gabby waltzing around the kitchen cooking breakfast and singing softly to the radio. Straining to hear the words, the words and tune sounded familiar but there was something that wasn't quite right about it. Maybe it was just something that he just hadn't heard in a very long time. Softly he padded closer towards the sink, trying not to gain the attention of his working wife

'I'm never gonna say goodbye 'cause I never want to see you cry. I swore to you my love would remain. And I swear it all over again…" he heard her softly sing. It wasn't very often that he ever heard her sing, but he soaked it all in. He gave a wry smile, he wondered how much of these words were actually sinking in for her. Those words were hitting home pretty hard given the week they had both been through.

They hadn't ever realised how close they had come to losing everything last week in a way that would have plunged them back into a world of darkness. Slipping the phone out of his back jeans pocket, Matt found the app on his phone to turn the stereo up. As the music volume started to build he moved his way over to press up against Gabby's back, his hand making quick work of turning the stove off where Gabby had been cooking and pushing the pan towards the back burner. A short gasp left her. Resting a hand on her bump, he brushed away some hair so he was able to attack her neck with kisses. Gabby's head lulled to side to give him better access, trying to hold in a moan as he hit a particularly sensitive spot.

Turning on the spot so she was able to look him in the face, Gabby reached up to place a gentle kiss on his lips. But Matt was having none of that, he quickly deepened the kiss as he spun her around and backed her up so she was pinned against the wall.

"Happy birthday baby," she breathed when he finally released her. Matt felt a smile spread across his face. Gabby had only been released from hospital two nights ago after finally been given the all clear from Doctor Peterson. Matt let her go and made his way over to the stereo and turned the music up a little louder. Coming back he gathered up Gabby back into his arms and started to sway around the empty space in their kitchen.

"But," she protested. "Your birthday. I was going to have breakfast ready for you…"

"Is that why you weren't there when I woke up?"

"I know you haven't slept well in the hospital. You were so snuggled into the sheet when I woke up I thought it best to leave you," Gabby confessed as she snuggled into his arms just a little bit more. Matt breathed in her shampoo and tugged her tighter.

"I don't need anything more for my birthday Baby. You and Smudge are home where you belong and you're both safe. That's the only present I need baby girl."

Gabby gave him a soft smile as she left her head over his chest, content to listen to his heartbeat. "I'm sorry that I made you worry last week," a tear dripping down her face.

"Hey, hey," he leant down and kissed the tear away. "You couldn't have known what was going to happen. There was nothing you could have done… Nothing," he promised her, punctuating his last word with a kiss. As the song continued, Gabby continued to hum along thinking about the words that were floating around them. It still scared her to how close they could have come to losing everything.

As the song came to an end, Matt dipped her slightly for one more kiss.

"So when you finally left the house yesterday. I was looking for some paperwork for Molly's…" Gabby started as she walked back around to the cooker, insisting Matt take a seat at the breakfast bench.

"Gabby, you were supposed to be resting," Matt insisted.

Gabby held up a finger to hush him. Leaning around him, she pulled out an envelope from behind counter, "I found this… Matt?"

Matt had to tear his eyes away from the familiar scrawl that was his handwriting on the letter he had written to Smudge many weeks ago… One similar to the one that he wanted to again write to his child on his birthday now… One that he had desperately wanted to do after the week that he and Gabby had experienced. But one that he hadn't been able to write whilst she had still been in hospital. During that first night that she was in hospital, Matt had sat down in one of those uncomfortable chairs armed with a pen and paper, but he just wasn't able to make the words transfer from his brain onto the paper, the words had been much too muddled. Matt still felt his heart skip a beat every time he thought back to that fateful day.

 _*Flashback*_

 _Casey came charging through the glass doors of Chicago Med, not bothering to see who or what was around him all the whilst with Boden hot on his heels. "Maggie?" Casey finally looked where he was going to find the charge nurse standing at her usual spot._

" _Matt?"_

" _Where's Gabby?" he demanded as he skidded to a halt. He felt Boden's hand on his back in an attempt to calm him down. Obviously Boden had met up with Severide at the entrance._

" _She's going to be okay Casey."_

" _Matt… She's fine. She's upstairs. On the second floor," Maggie tried to allay his fears the best she could. Casey nodded in thanks before noticing Brett hanging around the back of the desks._

" _Brett!" he called out. "What happened? Is Gabby okay?" he stopped in front of her, his hands coming down onto her shoulders noticing that the blonde was shaking slightly._

" _Casey," interrupted Doctor Choi's voice. "Come with me," he led Brett and Casey into an unoccupied treatment room. In there both Doctor Choi and Brett were able to fill Casey in what had happened, from what had happened from when Ambo had gone on their run to what had happened when they arrived at Med._

" _Is CPD involved?" Casey questioned impatiently. Brett nodded her head._

" _I'm sorry Casey. If I had known I would have made her drive…" Brett whimpered, every word seemingly a struggle to get out without breaking down. "I'm so sorry Casey." Through the fog of everything that was happening Casey knew that it wasn't the blonde's fault, from what he was being told there was nothing that anyone could have done. He simply waved her off, he knew he should reassure her more, but his mind was solely focused on Gabby._

" _Can I see her?"_

 _~D~_

 _Matt stood in the doorway of the private room that Gabby had been set up in. He had been assured by both Doctor Choi and Doctor Manning on the ride up to the second floor that both Gabby and Smudge were okay. Natalie had run a number of tests and Gabby was responding well. She had woken up not long after they had brought her into Med. They hadn't performed an ultrasound yet, rather they were waiting for an OB/GYN for that. By they had used the heartbeat monitor to check in the short term._

 _When she couldn't get hold of Doctor Peterson on the spot, Natalie had made the decision to admit Gabby upstairs. And as he stood on the threshold, Matt noticed that Gabby had her head turned away from the door and was hooked up into a monitor - one that Matt wasn't familiar with. Kelly came up behind Matt, clapping him on the back._

" _We're all out here when you're ready," Kelly told him. "You take all the time you need." Matt nodded in thanks as he looked in at Gabby once more time._

" _Gabs?" he quietly called as he made his way over to her bed. Gabby turned to face her husband with Matt noticing immediately that there were many tear tracks running down her face. For Gabby once she saw him, her resolve and face crumbled, until now she had put on a strong facade. Everyone had assured her that it was okay, that she was okay and that Smudge was okay. But seeing Matt stood by the foot of her bed and she broke down._

" _Hey, hey," Matt rushed over and leant over the bed railing to hug her. His back protested slightly, being sore from the drills that he had been running with his company. He pulled back slightly and untangled himself from her arms. This caused her to sob louder and harder. "It's okay…" he soothed. Pulling the bedclothes up higher, he kicked off his shoes and made himself as comfortable as he could on the bed. Guiding her head into his chest, he allowed her to cry herself out, whilst rubbing circles on her back and whispering sweet nothings in her ear._

" _It's okay… You're okay," he whispered as her sobs subsided and breathing started to even out. Matt eased himself up as she shivered slightly. He pulled his lieutenant jacket off and offered it to her, which was gratefully accepted by Gabby to lay across her belly._

 _An older doctor walked into the room, tapping on the doorframe as he entered. Matt looked up at the interruption. He swung his legs off the bed and stood to meet the gentleman._

" _Mr. and Mrs. Casey, I'm Doctor Holloway. I'm the obstetrician who is on call today," he introduced himself._

" _Matt Casey," Matt offered his hand before scooping up his jacket to put back on._

" _I've been brought up to speed by Doctor Manning," Doctor Holloway started. "How are you feeling Mrs. Casey?"_ _noticing the jacket that Matt was pulling out of the way._

" _Gabby is fine," she spoke up. "I'm fine… When can I go home?"_

" _Gabby," Matt hissed from his spot next to the bed. "You've had a fall, let the doctor speak."_

" _Mrs. Casey, falling during pregnancy is extremely common as your increasingly protruding abdomen, softening ligaments and joints, and changing centre of gravity can cause you to lose your balance," Doctor Holloway started._

" _I didn't lose my balance… I was pushed," Gabby snapped. Matt reached over from his position and began to run a soothing hand through her hair._

" _It's okay," he whispered in her ear._

" _I'm sorry Mrs. Casey. My point is that a fall is actually common…"_

" _Where is my doctor? Did someone call her?" Gabby was still on edge and wanted a familiar face who she would trust implicitly._

" _Gabby…" Matt started slowly. "Doctor Holloway is more than qualified… I'm sorry please continue," he turned back his attention back to the doctor._

" _No, that's fine Lieutenant…"_

" _Please Matt," he interjected. Gabby gave a small smile to the doctor, encouraging him to go on as well as apologising at the same time._

" _That's perfectly fine. I've got one of the nurses trying to chase down Doctor Peterson for you. Forgive me for misspeaking earlier, I meant no harm. Falling during pregnancy can make you panic. But your body is designed to protect your developing baby during pregnancy. Any injury would have to be severe enough to seriously hurt you before it would directly harm your baby. The walls of your uterus are thick, strong muscles that help keep your baby safe," Doctor Holloway advised the couple in front of himself._

 _Gabby gripped Matt's hand tighter, so tight that it had started to turn white, not that Matt had even noticed. Gabby opened her mouth to ask a question before being interrupted by a soft knock on the door before Doctor Peterson poked her head in the door. Gabby let out an involuntary sigh of relief. Doctor Holloway nodded in greeting to his colleague._

" _Sorry Doctor Holloway, nothing against you," apologised Matt hearing the noise. The older gentleman held up a hand._

" _None taken, I can understand that you'll be more comfortable with your own Doctor," he waved off. "Clara, how are you? I am sorry I haven't been much help to Lieutenant and Mrs. Casey. I was simply explaining that it's not too uncommon for a fall to occur. And sorry I wasn't able to find you sooner."_

" _I'm sorry. I was in delivery," apologised Clara stepping into the room fully and accepting the proffered iPad. "Thank you for taking good care of my patients. I'm sure they were safe in your capable hands Doctor Holloway." He smiled as he bid the room farewell._

" _Ok Gabriela," Clara started as she flicked through the results of the tests that had been run, "What actually happened?"_

" _She was working, bring a patient in," Matt took over, needing to have some control over what was happening, it was the only way he knew how to cope. "He was high or something according to Brett. Her feet were taken out from underneath her and she hit the deck pretty hard." Gabby nodded along in confirmation, knowing that there was very little point in trying to interject over Matt. She knew that he was overprotection mode - and she didn't blame him._

 _Clara hmmed in concentration, "Everything is looking okay. Nothing glaring is sticking out to me…"_

" _And Smudge?" concern laced each of her words. Clara gave them both a strong confident smile as she moved over to the side of the bed with all of the monitors. Turning a knob, Smudge's heartbeat filled the room._

" _That device strapped to you is a fetal heartbeat monitor and baby is going strong. They're a strong little kid. How is the movement in there?"_

" _Haven't noticed much…" Gabby admitted._

" _Anything out of the normal? Are you feeling it less?"_

" _Is there something wrong?" Matt questioned he questioned as he turned to sit on the edge of the bed so he could face Gabby._

" _Not necessarily. I would be concerned if there was a decrease in movement… Let's not stress about this Gabby. I'll get one of nurses to get the ultrasound machine and let's put any of those fears to rest," she patted Gabby's leg before disappearing in search of a machine._

" _Baby," Matt breathed. He scooted up the bed so he was able to capture her lips wanting another sign to make sure everything was okay with Gabby._

" _I'm okay," she promised. "Now that you're here and we're going to see Smudge… I'm okay.." Matt smiled as she pushed herself up in an attempt to kiss him. He finally took pity on her and leant down to meet her halfway._

 _There was a clearing of a throat followed by a laugh, "Don't you two ever come up for air?" Clara teased, smiling as Matt turned slightly red. "There's just another thing Gabby…" Clara mentioned as she started unpacking the machine. "Your notes mentioned that you hit the deck pretty hard and have a cut behind your ear…"_

" _That would explain all the blood," mused Matt…_

" _Hmm?" both Gabby and Clara turned towards him._

" _Sylvie mentioned that there was a lot of blood pouring from your head. I was worried it was so much more…" he confessed. Turning towards Clara he continued, "Sylvie is Gabby's partner on Ambo. She's a bit shaken up. Actually the house is in the waiting room, will it be okay for them to come in soon?"_

" _Crowd's getting restless, huh?" Gabby joked. Matt nodded along knowingly. "The house is tight," she mentioned, "they will be out there until everyone knows that everything is okay with their little candidate," she explained resting a hand on her belly giving it a small rub._

" _Should be fine… Look I want you to know this. Looking over your charts I don't think you've suffered a concussion, however I don't want to risk a CT scan to rule it out. I want to keep you in overnight just for observation."_

" _And what am I looking for?" Matt enquired._

" _Matt," whined Gabby. "They pay nurses for that."_

" _I would be concerned if Gabby started experiencing nausea, vomiting, dizziness, sensitivities to light and sound, and confusion… It can take a few hours for it to manifest, which is why I want you to stay. Just in case, no matter how slim the chances."_

" _Before I start, just a couple of quick questions Gabby._ _Are you experiencing vaginal bleeding or leaking amniotic fluid?" A shake of Gabby's head allowed her to continue, "Are you feeling any severe pain or tenderness in your abdomen, uterus or pelvis? ...No? Good."_

 _Quickly she drew up Gabby's shirt and noticed the beginning of some bruising on Gabby's left side. "Baby?" Matt quickly questioned, his eyes growing wide at the sight._

" _Oh that's nothing much… It doesn't even hurt," she pushed her husband's concern off as her fingers brushed over the fast turning dark purple spot._ _She hadn't even noticed it herself._

" _Gabriela, what happened there? There isn't any mention of this on your notes. I don't know how it was missed when they were putting the monitor on?"_

" _Honestly, I don't know. I don't remember hitting my stomach on anything. All I remember is putting my arms around my belly to protect Smudge…"_

" _Nothing hurts?" Clara prodded again._

" _Nothing more than general aches that I've had for a while."_

 _Matt closed his eyes momentarily and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I wonder if you caught the edge of the ledge in the back of the Ambo… There's a protruding ledge near the side door that she might have caught? You know the one just past the seat?"_

" _It's possible," Gabby confirmed. "But I don't remember it…"_

" _Let's have a look at what's going on in there," Clara started, "Bear in mind that now that I know that there's been trauma to our abdomen I might just up your stay to three days…" she kept speaking as she removed the heart monitor. Gabby sighed in relaxation having had the tight elastic finally removed._

" _Complications?" Gabby asked worriedly._

" _Ultrasound first," comforted Clara, "then we can reassess in 24 hours… Cold jelly coming up."_

 _Matt always thought he would be better prepared for the sight of his child on the grainy ultrasound. Yet every single time his heart caught in his throat and he would feel the tears prick in his eyes.  
_

 _~D~_

 _The rest of the house was indeed restless and as soon as Clara had cleaned everything up and taken it away Gabby had demanded that everyone be let in. The rowdy bunch somehow had managed to fit into Gabby's small room with as little fuss as possible, well as little as Firehouse 51 could manage. Brett quickly made her way over to Gabby's bedside searching for a hug from her partner, her eyes still bloodshot from all of the tears. The latest images of Smudge were passed around and cooed over. Everyone had a laugh over Cruz turning it left and right, up and down trying to figure out if it was a boy or a girl._

" _Give it a break," Otis teased, demanding that he pass on the photos. "You're never going to work it out!" Cruz frowned as he reluctantly handed over the images._

 _Brett was even able to calm down once she had seen for herself that Gabby was okay._ _Kidd unceremoniously dropped herself onto the end of the bed, with Severide coming up to massage her shoulders. Gabby gave Matt a brief half-smile, happy to see that her friends were seemingly working on their relationship._

 _Since they were technically still on shift, they didn't stay long. Boden enforced to both Matt and Gabby that they had as long as they needed. They would sort it out, Truck could go lean this shift and they had already taken Ambo out of service. Both were appreciative of what their chief had done for them. Herrmann just needed one last hug from Gabby to make sure his kid was okay._

 _Matt shook Boden's hand and allowed Severide to pull him in for a quick hug as they farewelled the house. "Anything else you need?" Severide questioned._

" _Just my clothes and bag from my locker. And my truck would be nice." Severide smiled promising to be back after he finished the shift. Matt sighed as he quietly closed the door behind the lingering pair. Gabby turned to face him, finally free of all of the monitors, patted the empty space on the bed. Matt shook his head slightly, "Still in my uniform," he complained._

" _I don't care; I just want to have you next to me. Plus, it didn't seem to bother you before." Matt gave a dry chuckle as he slipped into her bed flinging an arm around her shoulders bring her head close to his and pressing a kiss to her hair._

 _The couple sat in comfortable silence for a long time, Matt just comfortable with being able to hold her close. He couldn't quite imagine what he would have done if something had happened to them. Gabby laid her head against his chest feeling his heart racing. "Babe?" she twisted slightly to look up at him._

" _I was so scared Baby. I didn't think I could breathe when Boden told us what had happened… Well, that something had happened to you."_

 _Gabby paused for a beat, she knew that they had promised to keep working on their communication, but suddenly she felt like she needed to make a decision right now. "Matt? I know we have promised to talk about everything and we would make all of our decisions… But Baby…"_

" _Hey…" Matt hooked a finger under her chin forcing her to look up at him. Drinking in her face, his heart twisted slightly at her wide brown eyes that showed sadness and concern. "Gabriela? What is it?"_

 _Sucking in a deep lungful of air, Gabby decided that the best possible course of action was to just say what she was thinking… "I don't want to go back to Ambo," she looked away as her fingers danced over her belly. "I can't Matt… I can't go back. I can't go through this again."_

 _Matt internally gave a sigh of relief. This situation, everything that had happened today, had been the realisation of one of his worst nightmares. Whilst he would never presume to tell Gabby that he didn't want her out on the roads anymore, suddenly a weight had been lifted from his heart and his shoulders._

" _Matt?" Gabby's voice broke through his thoughts. "Talk to me?"_

 _Matt turned his body around so he was able to plant a long deep kiss on his wife. Gabby melted into the kiss, knowing that as much as they were working on communication Matt was still much more physical than talkative. "I love you," he mumbled against her lips before starting the kiss again._

 _Breaking the kiss, Gabby snuggled into his chest allowing him to play with the strands of her hair. "What is it that you really want to do?" Matt questioned. "Right in here," he tapped her heart, "What is it telling you to do?"_

" _Leave Ambo, for now. I was thinking that I would give the Chief Paramedic and Dean of Academy a call, or at least get Chief to call for me. I don't think they've found someone to take on that position yet. Last week I heard that there was a possibility of having a rotation basis for the job… But I'm making decisions for us again…"_

" _Gabby, this isn't you making decisions for us. This is you telling me what you feel comfortable with. This is going to be what works best for us… Will you be okay with a desk job?"_

 _Gabby smiled up at him. "Is it going to be hard? I'm not sure if I'm ever going to be ready for this. But…" she looked down at her belly. "This is what is best for us… That is if me working for the academy is okay with you?" If Gabby was honest with herself, she just couldn't see herself back on the road anymore. Her confidence had been shaken and whilst she knew that this wasn't forever, the actual decision to take the Academy job hadn't been a hard one. Protecting Smudge and her family was foremost in her mind now._

" _Anything you want Gabby…" Gabby smiled and took his hand to place over her belly. Sighing tiredly, she closed her eyes thinking what a long day it had been. Matt pulled her in closer to him, pressing another kiss to the crown of her head. Brushing aside her top he placed his warm hand flat over her belly causing her to moan contently as he began rubbing a thumb over her stomach. "Anything that keeps you and Smudge safe," he whispered to the sleeping form of his wife._

 _*End Flashback*_

"Matt?" Gabby's voice pulled him out his daydream, waving the letter in his face a questioning look across her face.

"It's a letter," he confessed. "You remember the shift when I told Herrmann to stay back?" he watched as she nodded in confirmation. "No one knows what tomorrow holds, and I thought of Boden and how he made us all write letters to all of the important people in our lives and I wrote to Smudge - just in case something happened. I'm not saying that I think it will. But just in case… Or it might make a nice 18th birthday present. I was thinking that I would add to them…"

Tears sprung to Gabby's eyes as she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him deeply. Settling herself between his legs, she started to play with the short hairs on the back of his neck. Cursing her depleted lung capacity, Gabby soon found herself breaking off the kiss. Attempting to catch her breath, she leant her forehead against his, "I love you, you know that Matt?" she spoke gently.

Pulling back slightly more, she nodded towards the fridge. Matt gave her a confused look. Without words, she pulled out of his embrace and pointed towards a white object pinned to the fridge. Giving her a small smile, he walked towards it and found another envelope bearing his name.

"Similar minds… Happy birthday baby." Matt gave a slight chuckle, he couldn't believe Gabby would have done something like this. With a shake of his head, he tore the object open. "Hold it," Gabby ordered thrusting a glass of juice into his empty hand. "I'm going to make breakfast, you go enjoy your birthday present."

"You're supposed to be resting," Matt argued back, looking around the kitchen he spotted his birthday cake, he always looked forward to anytime that Gabby made a birthday cake. He really did want to tell her off for baking when Doctor Peterson had insisted that she still take it easy for a while longer, but he was looking forward to his cake. He stretched out a finger to swipe some of the frosting from the cake.

"Oi!" warned Gabby, flicking his hand. "That's for afterwards," she threw over her shoulder as she started over to the fridge rummaging around for some eggs and milk, quite simply ignoring him, "It's just a quick bacon and eggs for my husband's first birthday as a daddy." Matt couldn't help it, a smile that could light up downtown Chicago flashed across his face, it did every time he was referred to as Daddy. Knowing that there was no use arguing with her, he walked past her, pressing a kiss to the back of her head on his way out to their outside area. However he took one step outside in only a long sleeved t-shirt and decided that outside wasn't going to be a comfortable place for breakfast. Quickly he made his way inside and towards the dining room ignoring Gabby's laughter as he passed her.

Polishing off half of his orange juice, he placed the glass down before pulling out the letter. Who would have thought that Gabby would have thought to write him a letter on his birthday, especially since he could see that she hadn't opened the letter to Smudge.

 _Dear Matt,_

 _I know it's been a hard week. Never in my wildest dream would have I thought that this would be how we would be celebrating your birthday this year. Not with everything that happened this week. If anyone had told me that I would have given up my spot on Ambo just half way through my pregnancy I would have laughed. But baby after everything that happened this week I can't do it anymore. I can't keep putting Smudge in that danger and I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you earlier._

 _Thank you, this time last year - we were in a completely different place in our lives. I never thought that we would have bought a huge house, gotten married and expecting a baby. But I love our little life - the one that we have made together. The one that we'll welcome Smudge into in only a few short months. Over this past year, thank you..._

 _Thank you for believing in us_

 _Thank you for helping me through those dark days after Louie left_

 _Thank you for asking me to marry you_

 _Thank you for understanding why I couldn't face coming back onto Truck_

 _Thank you for finding a way to make our relationship work - for communicating here at home and at 51_

 _Thank you for giving me your name_

 _Thank you for letting me take all of those random shifts on another watch so I could keep my hand in the game_

 _Thank you for sharing your bunk in your quarters when I've needed them_

 _Thank you for making me feel like the most important girl in the world_

 _Thank you for sharing in this crazy exciting time in our lives_

 _Thank you for letting me share the news in my own time_

 _Thank you for letting me be the one to make the decision to leave Ambo and helping me understand that it was all going to be okay_

 _Thank you for not freaking out when I had the accident last week, or at least holding it together in front of me_

 _Thank you for never questioning me about Smudge, even when I think that I can't do it anymore_

 _Thank you for being 'enough' until I was ready_

 _Thank you for understand and not being jealous of all the attention that everyone is giving me_

 _Thank you for wrapping your arms around me, holding me close any time I've needed to cry_

 _Thank you for being the lieutenant at work, doing everything that you can to make sure that you come home to us every shift_

 _Thank you for your comfy quilted CFD jacket… and every article of clothing that I've stolen over the past 20 weeks. They are all mine now_

 _Thank you for not taking offence when I've told you to get away from me_

 _Thank you for being excited every time we've been able to see Smudge_

 _Thank you for always having food in your quarters_

 _Thank you for switching which side of the bed we sleep on just so I could be closer to the restroom_

 _Thank you for taking me to see April and Natalie even though I have protested each time_

 _Thank you for being the best Truck lieutenant, never underestimate how much you have taught me_

 _Thank you for making sure that you keep trying to communicate with me. I know that we're so much better than we were five years ago_

 _Thank you for letting me work this crazy job, both on Truck and Ambo, you never question me or my abilities. You just stand on the sidelines and cheer me on_

 _Thank you for being a extraordinary father_

 _Thank you for being a phenomenal husband_

 _Thank you for being there_

 _Thank you for making every new phase of our lives together the happiest one yet_

 _Matt I know you're going to be a great father because you're already a great husband. I know my parents couldn't have wanted anyone to join our family because there isn't anyone better than you. And I know this because there is no one out there who could ever compare to you._

 _Happy birthday my Matt_ _hew_

Gabby watched from the doorway as she watched a mired of emotions pass over Matt's face. Silently she wiped away the tears that had formed in her eyes as she saw Matt's eyes light up. She had struggled for a few weeks over what she was going to get Matt for his birthday. She had wanted something special for Matt's last birthday before they became a family of three, and she wanted it to be something just for Matt, not about Smudge or her – just him alone. And there was nothing that she could find, rather she had simply poured her heart out a few weeks ago.

Sliding a plate in front of him, she pressed a kiss to the side of Matt's cheek. "Happy Birthday baby."

Matt grinned as he noticed his wife's presence. Sliding an arm around her waist he gently pulled her down into his lap. "You, baby, are amazing. This was a wonderful present."

"I was thinking," Gabby started as she picked up a fork to pass food over to Matt. "I was thinking that maybe we could keep writing those letters to Smudge. You're right it would make a good present for an 18th birthday…"

"It would," Matt mused. "But how does resting upstairs right now sound?"

"I'm not tired Matt. I don't need rest."

"But you could show the birthday boy how much you love him."

Gabby giggled as she ran her fingers through his hair. Running a finger down his cheek, she captured his lips with her. "I guess I could do that," she whispered.

 _~ Her lungs are developing rapidly, and they will begin making a protein called surfactant ~_

* * *

 **Thankfully I didn't listen to my husband whose version of this chapter was – "** **Nothing happened during week 22 due to Gabby being in an induced coma…** **We will be back next week with an update on Week 23..."** **I even sent that chapter to Rebecca for her to beta for me :)  
**

 **Hope you enjoyed it  
**


	21. Week 23 - Smelling Smoke

**YOU GUYS! You have blown me away with all the reviews and thoughts this week. Thank you for all taking the time to let me know what you're thinking. Glad that the letter went down a treat – if you liked it, keep an eye out and I'm sure these letters will be making another appearance.**

 **Shout out to AshleyDawsey51 who was my 200** **th** **reviewer for this story, sorry that I kept you awake needing to finish the story :)** **I cannot believe that I've even got that many. So humbled. And Coconut – no you were definitely not rude, never saw it that way at all - thank you for every review. In fact I'm loving reading what you think every week. And Junko – thank you!**

 **One week to Christmas everyone!**

* * *

 _Week Twenty Three_

 _~ Candidate is as big as an eggplant ~_

"Well if they didn't know you were pregnant before, they certainly would now," commented Matt the morning that Gabby was to start at the Academy as she walked into their kitchen. Gabby's face fell and for a moment Matt thought that he might have insulted her. Quickly he started to look around the kitchen to see whether there was something that he could hide behind, just in case she decided to throw something at him. Especially since the closest items to her were sharp objects.

Watching the fearful look that crossed Matt's face, Gabby decided to leave him hanging for a moment. Frowning at him until she wasn't able to hold it in anymore, Gabby finally let the laughter bubble out of her. He was speaking the truth, whilst Gabby had started looking like she was pregnant a few weeks ago, rather than just as if she had extra large meal, but still, it was like she had popped over night. Matt's eyes were glued to her belly, it seemed to have rounded out since last night, it was much more prominent now than it ever had been before, a real rounded belly. There was going to be no hiding it at the academy today.

Gabby caught his eyes wandering up and down her body and gave him a soft smile. She carefully smoothed down her, well Matt's shirt, over her stomach and hooked her hands under her belly. When she looked down now, she definitely couldn't miss her belly. She smiled softly to herself. There were still days that she caught herself being amazed that this was really happening. But there was no question anymore, it was amazing.

"Good thing you ordered that new uniform," teased Matt as he came over to kiss her good morning, leaving a hand to rest on her belly.

"You'll keep," laughed Gabby has she made her way over to kitchen counter where Matt had served up a plate of pancakes. Matt gave her a quick half smile taking note of the time. He knew that Gabby would want to be at the academy fairly early, so he quickly left her to eat whilst he went to gather up her work bag and bits and pieces.

Taking a seat in their office to gather up her papers, Matt pulled out their last firehouse family photo that had been taken a few weeks after they had announced their pregnancy. Chuckling slightly, he tucked it into the front pocket of her CFD planner and slipped it in with her other files into her work bag. They had found a backpack type bag for her to use and put away her Ambo work bag for the time being.

Sighing slightly Matt rubbed a thumb over the wedding photo that sat on the desk. Whilst they hadn't had their reception at the Chicago Firehouse Restaurant; they had had some photos taken in front of it. They loved the architecture of the place - plus it screamed old style fire fighting and that's what the Caseys were. It was in their blood and she had wanted a way to honour it. Matt had never thought he would see the day that Gabby turned in her jump bag, albeit it temporarily. Honestly Matt had assumed that he was going to have to have this enormous talk with Gabby, one where he thought it might end up being an argument about her taking a step down. Making Gabby Casey take a step back? He had supported her when she wanted to become a firefighter, when she went back to Ambo and then every time she took on an extra shift on Truck or Engine.

He, however, wouldn't deny that his blood pressure had taken a nose dive ever since her announcement that she was taking a step back, not that he would never tell her that. And then when the academy accepted her as an instructor, he was able to sleep much better at night. He just wished that it wasn't starting this week, he wanted her to stay home and relax for another week or so, nightmares about the accident still haunted him. Pausing one last time, he pulled back out the CFD file and wrote a little note for Gabby to find the first time she opened it. There was nothing stopping his girl from taking on anything, so he was going to do everything in his power to support her and make sure she felt loved.

As he made his way back into the kitchen he noticed it was empty with the dishes already done and an extra plate waiting for him at the breakfast bench. He hadn't realised that he had taken as long as he did.

Matt watched from the doorway to their bedroom as Gabby pinned her hair up into a bun rather than her usual pony, the white shirt flapping around, not yet been done up. He snuck up behind her letting one of his hands come to a rest on her hip, the other on her bare belly his fingers starting to dance over the taut skin. Gabby sighed as she enjoyed the moment – she could feel the flutter of slight movement start as Matt joined her.

"Talk to me," Matt gently coaxed as she turned in his arms.

"How did you know?" she ducked her head focusing instead on fixing her name plate.

"Because," he started, taking a step back and brushing her hand away from the shirt. "Because..." he punctured with a kiss. "I know you baby." Swatting her hands away once more, Matt bent down slightly to button up her white shirt. Trying to relax her he pressed a gentle kiss to her skin as he did each button up. Kneeling down, he pressed his ear up against her now clothed belly, rubbing a hand over it at the same time. Gabby sighed contently, she couldn't have wanted a more attentive husband ever. With one final kiss to Smudge, Matt pulled himself to his feet and guided her towards the bed, his hand automatically going to the small of Gabby's back.

"Talk," he repeated, reaching for her shoes.

"Matt, I'm not that fat yet… I can do my own shoes," she grumbled with a silly smile on her face. Honestly she was just glad that she was able to sit down for a few more moments. Gabby knew that today was going to be a big day and one that was going to require her to spend most of it on her feet. And if she was honest, she was a little more than slightly nervous.

Matt just raised an eyebrow at her, starting on her second shoe. Gabby sighed, "It's just this whole Academy thing. Who starts the class one week before the Christmas break?" she scoffed.

"The Chicago Fire Department…" inserted Matt.

"Well I think it's crazy that we're doing an induction week and then breaking for Christmas, that's all."

"Teaches them that working for CFD isn't convenient, that they're going to lose many holidays and miss important events," Matt reminded her taking a seat next to her. "What else?"

Gabby gave a gentle snort and shook her head. How did he know that there was still stuff on her mind? How did he do that? "It's just," she muttered a hand going to her belly. "I don't know why I'm doing this? I'm not going to see my recruits graduate."

"That doesn't mean you're not going to be a good instructor just because you aren't going to be seeing the entire semester out," Matt tried to reason with her.

Gabby shook her head wiping away a tear. "Hey," Matt hooked a finger under her chin forcing her to look up at him. "They wouldn't have offered you the job if they didn't think you could do it. Plus they knew that you weren't going to be able to finish the entire semester, and they still want you babe."

"Yeah, I suppose so."

"Yeah, well it's a bit hard to miss now Babe," Matt laughed leaning down to capture her lips before she was able to retort.

* * *

Dawson looked down at her schedule, it was going to be gruelling first day. In the morning session she had a mix of fire and EMT candidate and then after morning break another mix of candidates, a set of groups were rotating. She would have a break after lunch before a final session with only the EMT candidates who would be her main instructing load until she went on maternity leave. She remembered the conversation that she had had with Chief Tiberg when she had come into sign her contract; CFD had changed things up in the years that had passed since she had stepped foot into the fire academy as a candidate. Working with both fire and EMT recruits and having them interconnected more, was only going to be a step in the right direction in Dawson's mind.

After the lunch break, Dawson watched as her groups of candidates filed back into her room. Her morning had been a slow one with two sessions of basic introductions to what it was like to be a candidate at the Chicago Fire Academy and what was going to be expected of them as students. It had been her job to introduce everyone to what it meant to be an EMT with CFD and how everyone no matter they had entered the academy was going to have to complete at least the basic EMT-B training.

She had noticed some muttering and looks from a few candidates, mostly the male ones. And to be honest she wasn't too sure how to take or handle it. Dawson was very much used to being in control and not being second guessed. But today, this was a new adventure where the students didn't know her and she was one of only a handful of female instructors.

With one final rub of her belly where Smudge had let her know they were awake, Dawson pulled herself to her feet, walked around her desk and leant on the edge, crossing her ankles in front of her. Waiting the general hubble to die down, she tapped her fingers on the desk. "Right," she called out, "Welcome to the Chicago Fire Academy and to your new life as an EMT candidate. I'm Instructor Dawson and here's the thing that I need you know… We are going to be together for the 15 or so weeks. I will be your main instructor, however not everything will be done purely as EMT training. Disclaimer though, as I'm sure you can all see I am not going to be your instructor all the way to your graduation." This comment drew a spattering of laughs from her class. Although it was all very shallow and fearful, they were still all seemingly nervous.

Nevertheless Dawson ploughed on, "There will be opportunities for you to be all involved with the firefighter candidates. It's why the trainers here decided that the first sessions were to be completed as a mixed group. This morning I'm sure you've enjoyed spending time with all of the other candidates, some of you have had me in one of your morning session, others may have had another EMT instructor. However all of you will have spent at least part of your morning of your first day of your nearly six months at the training academy learning to climb a ladder properly, running upstairs and doing pushups. In about a year - after graduation from the academy and a probationary period - most will become full-fledged EMTs. Some of you might even become firefighters."

She looked around at the faces that looked expectantly at her. "Today you walked into the Chicago Fire Academy for the first time as a candidate, our department's newest members… You would have walked past one of Chicago's original steam-powered engines in the lobby — and you would have seen a plaque that marks where the Great Chicago Fire of 1871 began. And did you smell the smoke?" Dawson questioned noticing the many heads nodding.

Dawson thought back to her first day as a firefighting candidate, it wasn't all that long ago that she herself was in their very shoes. "Anyone know why we you can smell that smoke?"

"As part of recruits' training, instructors build live fires to get us used to the smell?" a nervous voice came from the front row. "Instructor Dawson… I… I have a question?"

There was still something that caught her off guard. And Dawson wasn't sure if it was the use of the title 'Instructor' or the nearly continuous use of her maiden name. It was actually a touch weird to see her nameplate with Dawson on it. But the point that was stuck in her mind that this had never been a big sticking point with her. She couldn't reconcile in her own mind why it was continually coming back into her head. Didn't everyone at 51 call her Dawson? It had never been an issue before. Dawson could only chalk it up to her hormones and having an even bigger link to Matt, a much more physical one... Hmmm…

"Instructor?" the student questioned again shaking Dawson out of her slight daydream. Dawson nodded her head as a sign that he should continue. "Why do we have to be at the fire academy? Why do we do have to learn about the whole firefighting thing and get used to the smoke? We're only EMTs?"

'Only EMTs', that phrase annoyed Dawson, they were never going to be able to change the two culture gap that existed within the department if the paramedics were always going to think less of themselves, it also allowed the firefighters to believe that they were worth more than EMTs. But that was a problem for another day.

Dawson took a deep breath, her mind instantly being transported back to her last call with Shay. Even this many years later it still took her by surprise the kick in the gut she still felt over Shay's death. And nothing was ever going to prepare her for that. But she wanted to ensure that all of these people in front of her were as prepared as they could be.

"You never know what you're going to come up against… Working with the CFD I emphasis the Fire part of our departmental name, there are going to be times when you are called on to enter a burning building. And because of this our programs provides extensive training in areas such as fire prevention techniques, emergency medical procedures and building codes. You will all learn how to properly use ladders, fire extinguishers, hoses and other firefighting equipment - at least the basics. You will never know when you'll need these skills. Only a few years ago, my House was called to a car accident where a patient was trapped in a mini-van. In that car was our Truck Lieutenant and myself trying to get a pinned victim out, not to mention all the gear that comes with a firefighter. Don't really need to explain to you all that it was cramped and hard to function as an EMT in such a confined space. We managed to transport the patient out to the waiting firefighters only for the car to erupt in flames," retold Gabby. A gasp went through her room, a few of the females' mouths opened slightly.

A slight smile spreading across Dawson's face as she remembered what had transpired after that shift - the tension that had existed between her and Matt had come to head that week. And who would have thought that they would be where they were now, her retelling that story.

"Luckily for me, our lieutenant was, well is, a quick thinker and managed to get me under his jacket. Otherwise I would have come out slightly more singed," she laughed slightly whilst noticing a few of those same females with a dreamy look on their face. She was sure at some point during their time here she was going to have to break them of their ideal firefighter dream. They would need to learn how to work professionally with male members of the fire department. It all reminder her of that time Jones needed to roll her tongue back into her head over Severide.

"And you'll never forget your first heat," she continued. "And this morning I'm sure you overheard the firefighters banter, while you were looking at the monument to the volunteers who have fallen in the line of duty. I was told during my first time at the academy that Ron Howard paid for that monument after they finished filming Backdraft. And did you take in all of the photos and historical info on landmark fires and inventions? For example, the Iroquois Theater Fire of 1903 was so brutal that it prompted the city to revamp its building code, thus requiring doors to swing outward. And did you know that the sliding pole was invented in Chicago in 1878? Every proud firefighter in Chicago will remind you of that fact again and again," she laughed.

Pausing for a moment, she strained her ears to hear what had been muttered as she had been lecturing. She had never enjoyed this - she didn't want to be the one standing up here talking and talking. But the first few days that was what this job entailed. Then she caught the eye of one of the young males at the rear of the room, smirk on his face. He almost reminded him of a young Kelly Severide, with the real possibility of being cocky and sure of himself. "Candidate, up the back," she stated pointing straight at him. "What is it you have to share with the entire group?"

The man at least had the decency to look slightly sheepish. "Well it's just that you mentioned your first time at the academy?" Dawson nodded, wondering where he was going with this. "Respectfully, how many times did you need to go through?"

Dawson froze for a moment, she had almost been waiting for this, especially after the morning she had of having to speak to groups of candidates all the while knowing that they all knew she was the EMT instructor. Not that that fact should make a difference, but as a pregnant female, she knew it did. Taking a deep breath, she opened her mouth to speak, "So I don't need to do this, but in the interests of being open, you're going to know about me… Understand that I don't need to be telling you any of this, but after the whispers I've heard today I'm setting the record straight."

Dawson straightened up and pushed herself off the desk and started towards the front row. "Yes, this is my first session as an instructor at with the CFD Academy, but I will not be undermined. Understand this now… The first lesson that you all need to learn as candidates is this, you learn and you listen - nothing more. Whether you are EMT candidates purely or if you are using this as an alternative route into becoming a firefighter, which is common, you will learn to respect me and every other white shirter around. I will also be teaching the firefighting candidates their EMT training. Each and everyone of you will be CFD candidates and you will learn to keep your mouth shut. Listen and do not, I repeat do not question your superiors. I do not wish to see any one of you in my office or any other of the instructors' officers because of your inability to keep your mouth shut. Am I clear?" Dawson couldn't quite believe that she was being so strict and clear with her students, but she understood the importance of protocol and respect with the Fire Department Ranks.

With the murmur of agreement, Dawson started to walk around the room, "However I understand the interest. I am not your only general instructor. I am probably one of the first instructors in this position, the CFD takes on very few seasonal instructors. But let me assure you that I am well qualified for this position. I've been in your position, all of you. My previous role to this was as a Paramedic-In-Charge out at Firehouse 51, prior to that I was a firefighter. I've also spent a period of time serving with OFI - the Office of Fire Investigation and before even that I was a PIC. I've moved back and forth between the roles. Even until a few months ago I was still working the odd shift with a Truck Company. I've worked both sides of the coin with the Chicago Fire Department, it is one of the reasons I _am_ qualified to be one of your instructors. So for those of you who are here because you wanted to but weren't accepted into the firefighting branch of the academy, I understand this. When I first joined the CFD as a paramedic, I took the firefighter's test. But it was a number of years before I actually became a candidate, so many that I had forgotten all about it. But rest assured I know exactly how you all feel today and that yes I know what you are going to be facing out there on the streets of Chicago. And it's my job to prepare you for it."

Taking in each and every one of the wide faces sat in front of her, "You all walked through the training academy hallway this morning, whether it was with me or one of the other instructors, that's something that you won't get to do again for six months. It won't be until graduation that you get another chance. It is one of the many lessons of respect that we want to instil in you… Think for a moment, why are you here?"

A man raised his hand, "Even though I have fears about the job, I've wanted this for over half a decade. Acts of terrorism will not change my mind. I know that I can do this job," he stated.

Many of his classmates nodded their heads along with him as an older man spoke out "I've thought about it, the terrorism but it hasn't changed my mind," he stated. "It actually increased my desire to do this, confirmed my decision. Whether I'm a firefighter or EMT, I really want to do this."

"I thought about medical school, but this is the route that I ultimately decided to take," a girl confessed. "My family isn't happy about it, but I just feel like this is what I want. It's going to get me a completely different life experience that I will never get anywhere else."

Gabby nodded along with each of them, hearing each situation. She thought about the conversations she had heard during her lunch break from the other instructors. The general comments were that many of the recruits waited years for the call to enter training. Now many of them are nearing middle age, some with careers they dropped to pursue firefighting. One woman left her job as a legal secretary, one man designed computer networks. Several were truck drivers or construction workers. She had to admire each and every one of their new recruits, she had been lucky to be accepted at the age she was and even into the fire academy when she was still young.

"Question Instructor Dawson?" a quiet male asked from the corner, Gabby had to strain to hear what he was saying. "You mentioned that you were a firefighter… I know that this probably isn't even the right place for this question, but if we are thinking about becoming a firefighter later can you talk to us about a typical day in a firefighter's life? We were never told about that this morning…" he trailed off

"Well there is nothing such as a typical day as a firefighter…" Gabby mentioned and the young guy flushed red and ducked his head. However Gabby took pity on him and pulled out a file from her bag. "Grab your notebooks and let's chat about this today and get it out of the way," she ordered before turning around to write on the board. Once finished she had a list of what she had known to be a typical day for a firefighter, believing that she would also add in about what they would be required to do as an EMT.

 _Morning Line-Up (15 to 30 minutes) - Apparatus and Equipment Checks (1 hour) - Small Tool Maintenance (1 hour) - Station Cleaning and Maintenance (1 to 1.5 hours) - Firefighting Tactics and Drills (1 to 2 hours)_ – _Firefighting Tactics and Drills (1 to 2 hours)_ – _Physical Training (.5 to 1 hour) - Fire Prevention Education (Some days 1 hour)_ – _Fire Prevention Education (Some days 1 hour)_ – _Routine Recertification (Time varies)_ – _New Training (time varies)_ – _Paperwork - Emergency Response (Time varies)_

"I do suggest you take notes - I'm only going to say this once," she warned as she pulled out her water bottle, knowing that this was going to be a large session of just her talking. "You will be working alongside many different firefighters, many who are EMT certified. However it is important you understand what your job is and where the line is, understand what a firefighter does and what they can even do in terms of first aid," she warned as she tapped the board pointing out different roles that she was going to lecture about.

"Your morning line-up is held at the beginning of the shift each morning, similar to a police roll call. During this period station officers assign tasks for the day, review daily assignments, process timecards including overtime forms, and communicate any orders or procedural changes from the Chief's office. In the CFD, Battalion Chiefs are required to do roll call checks in two of their battalion's stations each evening; Deputy District Chiefs must do two in their District each evening. The first activity of the day consists of checking the engines or trucks and their associated equipment. Firefighters check their vehicle's motors, oil, tire pressure, and inventory of emergency medical equipment. They check their self-contained breathing apparatus, radios, and other emergency equipment. Ladder companies check the operation of their hydraulic aerial ladders. Minor repairs may be made at this time, such as changing broken light bulbs or adding oil to a motor. Needs for more major repairs are documented and set aside for the appropriate vendor or technician to fix. The vehicle may be taken at this time to the shops for maintenance and a back-up vehicle retrieved. Note down in another colour that as EMTs you too will be required to do this with your own rig to a certain level - be careful of asking squad guys to do your maintenance for you if you share a house with them – you may end up out of service for most a shift," she laughed. Dawson was actually surprised how much she remembered and how most of this information still came quite naturally to her.

Dawson paused for a few moments, allowing them to catch up and ask any questions that they may have. Looking up at what she had written up next she knew what she wanted to emphasis in this section, "Unlike most other government employees, firefighters are responsible for the daily maintenance and janitorial upkeep of their job site. Firefighters may clean toilets and showers, dump garbage, wax floors, change air filters, and conduct a myriad of other tasks for upkeep of the fire station. They often make minor repairs to stations while awaiting 'official' maintenance. Let me tell you now, just because you are the paramedics in the house you are not to be bullied into doing all of the cleaning. The load is to be shared around. Although firefighters have some type of training or drills every shift, don't get involved. As a paramedic stay out of it," Dawson warned. "It may be on basic skills to maintain operational readiness, such as advancing and handling hose lines, deploying ground ladders, or practising how to conduct searches for victims in buildings on fire. Firefighters may also practice pumping fire engines, using aerial ladders, or advanced rescue techniques, such as automobile extrication or confined space rescue. Crews on one vehicle, for example, engine may be cross-trained on the other like the ladder truck. Don't be surprised if some of the firefighting crew come to your PIC for additional training." she droned on.

Dawson continued to talk about what is was that a firefighter's day included dropping in all the time about how an EMT was different and how they could best work together. She felt like she needed to stop for a break after about half an hour, but as she looked out at the shining new faces in front of her, she still had managed to sustain everyone's attention. Pulling out her seat from behind the desk she sat down in front of her class, thinking to herself that she was going to need to invest in a bar type stool so she could still make eye contact with the back of the room. But she was exhausted, she needed to sit.

"Lastly," she breathed. She was going to need to figure out how to better teach a class for these types of days. She was very much feeling the depleted lung capacity by now. "The entire firefighter's day is built around and subject to being ready for an emergency response, just as yours will be. The time taken by an emergency response includes the time for turnout from the station and travel to the scene, the performance of the service, the time it takes to return, and the time to get the company ready to respond to another call. The time spent on each emergency response varies, but could be 20 minutes to investigate and clear a false automatic fire alarm, 45 minutes for assisting an EMS crew with a heart attack victim, or several hours for working building fire. Many calls are dealt with in only a few minutes, and in some cases fire units are turned back before they ever arrive on the scene, when the first unit signals that there is no need for them. However, even a short run causes a discontinuity in doing the routine tasks, which must be picked up again when they return," she finished. "All of which you will experience and better understand if you make it through the academy training." With that last statement she did notice a few faces drop. It wouldn't surprise her at all if some of them dropped out today, and there was a few that she thought might not make it to the end of the training, she had felt a vibe as she had been listening to some of the talk that they were coming into the profession for what she might call the wrong reasons. "Questions?"

"I heard a person once comment that firefighters do more work than EMTs?" a voice piped up, "Is that true? Or is it more even?"

Dawson gave a dry laugh, "Was it a firefighter? ...No don't answer that, it was a rhetorical question. Another thing you're going to learn is that some, not all, firefighters feel that they are above paramedics. But understand that is not all or the general message coming out of headquarters. But in answer to your question of the vast majority of fire and medical 911 calls in the country, about 80%, are for medical emergencies. Here in Chicago EMS represents about three quarters of the CFD work load. You land yourself at a busy house like 51 and your life will never be dull," she laughed. "Any more questions?"

Silence filled the hall. Dawson stood and surveyed the class. Nodding she went on. "Alright candidates I think we'll leave it there. One last parting comment - As a CFD Academy instructor the best piece of advice I will ever give you is this; there are two things you will need to succeed both here at the academy and especially during your probation period with whichever house you land in. One, do your job to the best of your abilities and two, keep your mouth shut. Dismissed," she nodded as her students stood up and to attention as she gathered her stuff and left the room.

Taking a large gulp of her water Dawson stopped outside of her classroom and lent against the wall to listen to the chatter that had started only moments after she left the room. She shook her head slightly and started to the room that she was sharing that was to become her office. 'I can do this,' she positively thought to herself.

* * *

"So my cousin's Christmas party is tonight," Gabby mentioned as she flopped on the couch after her third day at the Academy. It had been a long few first days for her, but Gabby was confident that she would fall into a routine sooner or later. What was going to take the most time to adjust to was the change in her work hours and not having as many shared days off with Matt. She started to pull the bobby pins out of her hair, sighing in relief as her hair tumbled down her neck.

"Hmm," hummed Matt, not looking up from the report he was reading.

"Yeah, you remember the one - it looks like it's from a better homes and gardens magazine. The really fancy Christmas party. It has the string quartet, plum pudding. Remember the really perfect one?"

"That's early," Matt commented, still not tearing his eyes away from the paper.

"I know, she and the family are going out of town or something. You know," Gabby continued, running a hand up his inner thigh. "I was thinking that we don't have to go…"

"We haven't gone since that very first time I went as your 'date'. That was so many years ago. It might be nice to at least make an appearance, you know - show off your hot husband," Matt commented as he signed the page he was on. Gabby's jaw dropped slightly, she honestly didn't think he was even really listening to her. "Your parents are finally home this year and I'm sure they are looking forward to having their whole family there, together for the first time in a very long time." He closed up the file and pushed it away. Turning he gave Gabby his full attention, pulling her closer to him. "I love when your hair is down," he muttered into her curls as he ran a hand through her hair.

"Well… I don't really want to go. And I can see that you're really busy. I'm sure everyone will understand if we don't get there."

"But, I saw this gorgeous black dress in your wardrobe. One that I can't wait to see you in…" Matt protested. Gabby ducked her head in embarrassment. Pulling her closer still he whispered huskily in her ear, "One that I can't wait to get you out of later tonight!"

 _~ His brain and hearing are more developed this week, and he's beginning to recognise your voice ~_

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 **Hope you enjoyed the latest update. Drop me a review**

 **~Em**


	22. Week 24 - Nochebuena

**Merry Christmas everyone! Hope you and yours have a lovely festive season…**

 **Now I need you to do something before you start reading… A couple of weeks ago I happened to be re-watching Your Day Is Coming from last season. Tears ensued – so I listened to this song and decided that I need to include it somewhere…**

 **So head over to YouTube and search for this Christmas Carol -** _ **I Got All I Need (This Christmas) - Official Music Video**_ **it's sung by Wicked's Lindsay Mendez & Derek Klena. Listen to it before you read this chapter…**

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 **Have you done that? Good!**

 **Hope you enjoy the latest instalment. Thanks to Rebecca for doing her usual thing!**

 _Week Twenty Four_

 _~ Candidate is as long as an ear of corn ~_

Matt couldn't stop the smile that started to spread on his face as he heard Gabby singing to herself as she came down the stairs. Knowing her at the moment, she probably didn't even realise she was singing out loud.

'Snowing falling, Christmas party hopping - look across the room and you are all I see. I think I'm done with all my shopping. Santa if you're watching he's the one for me. Ho-ho-holding my breath now, got that look in your eyes. While you're checking me twice, could I get some advice? Are you naughty or nice? ... This Christmas all that I want is a candy cane kiss, give me this I've been really good. Stop talking, hop in my stocking and I'll make a sign telling Santa I've all that I need…'

"Really?" Matt interrupted. "Who is this person hopping into your stocking?" He came to rest his hands on her shoulders giving them a brief squeeze.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" she asked popping a kiss on his lips quickly. "So are you ready for a Dawson Christmas?" Gabby cheekily asked as she eased herself down into the closest armchair after she had dropped the last of their many bags by the back door. She had spent the morning looking through her course outlines for her rest of her time at the academy before disappearing upstairs to pack. This was the first time he had seen her in hours. Matt's eyes widen slightly at the number of bags she had.

This was not only their first Christmas together as a married couple but it was Matt's first Christmas with the Dawson family. Last year, not only had they been on shift but they had lost Louie only weeks previous. So Christmas had been a quiet affair with Antonio working too and then Miguel and Adriana decided to head back to the Dominican.

It had however been a lovely day at the firehouse, Chief Boden had ordered in food for the house to enjoy. There had only been a few calls, mostly kitchen fires relating to peoples' inability to cook turkey. But it had been a lovely day just being able to spend time with some of the people who they were the closest to. Their second family. But if Matt was honest with himself it all paled in comparison to what they were going to be experiencing this year. In all of his young years, he had never had experienced a real family Christmas - well at least not one he could remember. Even now Christie wasn't going to be around for Christmas, she preferred to escape the freezing weather that Chicago liked to throw up. Last year she had taken Violet to San Francisco and only last week had she flown out to Florida specifically to visit Orlando.

Violet had barely been able to contain her excitement when they had come to visit before they left to exchange Christmas presents. According to the young girl she had plans to visit The Wizarding World of Harry Potter; Magic Kingdom; Epcot; The Orlando Eye; and Disney's Boardwalk, she had been telling her own mother for months now. Matt and Christie had exchanged a knowing look over her head, Matt knew that they hadn't had a chance to experience any fun family holidays growing up and that Christie was trying to provide her own daughter with all the experiences that she had never had growing up. However, Matt wasn't going to call her out on it. He knew that he wanted to give Smudge everything he missed out on and so much more.

"Are you sure we shouldn't have invited your parents and Antonio to our house for Christmas? I mean, we have a larger house and a kitchen that I know your mother loves to cook in…" questioned Matt as they gathered up the last of their things.

"No Matt. We have to go to my parents for Christmas. It is a tradition, one that means everyone gathers at our parents' houses. Everyone goes home. Mamá would never hear of it, to not have dinner at their house," explained Gabby.

"And why are we staying there?" Matt continued as he eased the last bag out of Gabby's hand and swung it over his own shoulder.

Gabby gave him a wide smile. "Antonio and I have always stayed with them when they are here in Chicago for Christmas. We go to midnight mass, have a huge dinner. We eat all night and talk all night. And then we all crash in our childhood rooms."

Strings tugged at Matt's heart as he wheeled the small suitcase containing their clothes towards Gabby's car. He looked forward to sharing this tradition with their new baby next year. But this year, it was all about education - learning the Dawson family traditions.

* * *

As Gabby rushed through her parent's house, she threw over her shoulder, "Just place the presents next to the Nacimiento!" towards Matt. She didn't even wait to hear his response, she simply rushed to the kitchen bypassing even her own father.

Matt for his part, stopped in his tracks bags swinging by his legs. Gabby had left their small suitcase by the hallway table along with her handbag. Confusion marred his face as he slowly made his way into the living room where he found his father-in-law. Greeting him with a half handshake half hug as well as he could considering he was still laden down with presents and bags, he scanned the living room, eyes widening as they landed on the Christmas tree in the corner. Instantly he regretted complaining to Gabby about the size of their own tree. Gabby had insisted that they have what Matt had considered a large tree in their living room. Yet as he looked at his in-laws' tree, he was rethinking the term 'large'. This was a monstrosity - the star, which was actually quite small, was physically touching the ceiling, a feat made even more impressive by the fact that they had quite high ceilings.

"Yes," Miguel's eyes followed Matt's gaze. "Gabby is very much like her mother, they both like a large Christmas tree. And they both will go all out for Christmas," he gave a hearty laugh.

Matt gave a half smile, his tongue trapped between his teeth. "Gabby told me to put these by the Nac.. Naci.. Nac - something," he gave up trying to pronounce the Spanish word.

"Nacimiento," supplied Miguel, the word rolling effortlessly off of his tongue. "It's that nativity scene underneath the tree," he explained gesturing to the old wooden display. "We've had this since we were first married."

"I'm never going to get the hang of all this am I?" Matt huffed as he started to unload the presents around the tree. Sighing slightly, he withdrew a small package from his pockets and added it to the growing pile at the base.

"Here," Miguel stated as Matt stood back up, thrusting a mug into his hands. "Have some Winter Spiced Coffee, my brother sent over some Dominican coffee beans for Christmas." He smiled as Matt inhaled the strong coffee and alcohol smell, his eyes closing to enjoy the aroma even more. "Have a seat Matt, let me bring you up to speed on this special family holiday."

Matt sat down opposite Miguel ready to listen to the older man tell him about the traditions of the Dawson family. Once again Gabby was very involved in her heritage and he knew that it was something that she would want to impart to their children. So for him to be somewhat ignorant about her culture wasn't something that he was comfortable with. Miguel gave him a warm smile, it warmed his heart to see his son-in-law taking such an interest their family. It had never seemed to be a question for Matt to become involved in all of their activities. It was nice that Matt was willing to embrace their traditions and constantly wanted to learn more about them so his children would also understand them.

"Christians from Puerto Rico to Peru will be ringing in Nochebuena, the most important Christmas celebrations for members of Spanish-influenced cultures. Alternatively known as Noche Buena, La Cena de Nochebuena or Navidad, Nochebuena means "Good Night" in Spanish and refers to Christmas Eve, the biggest Christmas festival for most Latinos," Miguel started.

"Why do I feel that I should have brought a notebook to write all of this down?" Matt joked.

"The more you are involved Matthew, the easier it will be to remember and understand," commented Adriana from the doorway.

"Mamá," Matt immediately rose, placing his coffee on the table. He made his way over to her, hugging her tightly. "What do I need to do?" he questioned.

"You and Gabriela - always trying to help," she admonished slightly. "I want you to enjoy this part of the holiday. It's going to be a very busy few days." Matt nodded and retook his seat.

"But you'll remember to ask if you need anything? I'm happy to help with quality control," a teasing air to his voice as he licked his lips. Miguel laughed along with his wife as he pointed to himself, indicating that he too would be happy to be involved with that.

"Now Gabriela," she started, pushing her daughter forward, "You sit and enjoy some time with your Papá… You can also rescue Matthew when your father starts to talk too much."

"But Mamá…" Gabby protested as she tried to turn and head back into the kitchen. "There's still so much to do!"

"Nonsense," her mother brushed off, giving her one last push towards the couch.

"Come on then," she grumbled, flinging herself down onto the lounge set, patting the seat next to herself. Matt laughed as he made his way over to her. No sooner had he settled himself down that Gabby curled up into his side and reached for his drink.

"Gabs…" a warning tone evident in his voice.

Her father smiled at the picture in front of him and made his own way over to the couple with another drink in his hand. "Gabriela, have some creamy spiced cocoa instead of Matt's alcoholic coffee."

Gabby graciously accepted the drink, the smell of the drink transporting her back to her childhood. Catching another whiff, she remembered the early mornings in this house…

"So," she broke out of her trance. "Has Papá told you about the main celebration happens on Noche Buena? That's Christmas Eve... This is when the big family dinners are held and people really do some substantial celebrating. Most people return to their home towns in order to enjoy the holiday with family and friends. Not to mention, most Dominicans love their mothers or aunts cooking so they _must_ return home to enjoy the feast that is prepared. This family gathering is the centre of the holiday festivity. December 25th is just a day to recuperate…"

"A day to recuperate?" shock was evident in Matt's question. He knew that it was going to be a busy day, but still recovery? Wasn't that what December 26th was for? "Please remember that I will need to go back to work on the 27th," he mentioned.

"How did you manage to get this weekend off?" his father in law questioned.

"We worked last Christmas," explained Matt. "Unfortunately we don't work a job that really allows us to request Christmas off. In fact, my shift was supposed to be rostered on for today, but as it was it's our Daley Day… It was just lucky timing for us."

"Daley Day - it's a day that provided to firefighters as an additional day off every fifth on-duty shift," explained Gabby. "See," she looked up at Matt, "You're not the only one in this family who needs things explained to them." Matt laughed at the joy in her voice. It was clear to anyone that she loved having her family getting along. Smiling again, he leant down to quickly capture her lips in a sweet kiss enjoying the taste of cocoa on her lips.

Gabby smiled widely and snuggled further into her husband's embrace, enjoying the warmth from both him and the fire that her father always had roaring at this time of the year. Finishing the last few drops of her cocoa, she placed the mug on the floor and let her hands tap on her belly. Smudge was evidently having a dance part of her own today, it was like he knew that today was a special day. Matt's hand quickly joined Gabby's but was disappointed not to have felt anything. Everyone, and by everyone it was pretty much only Herrmann, had told him that it was a magical feeling to feel your baby move for the first time. He had also reminded Matt that it could be weeks before he was able to feel it from the outside, many more weeks after Gabby was able to feel the kicks. And Matt was a little more than impatient by twenty four weeks.

"What about the nativity scene?" Matt questioned, looking over at it. "Is there anything special about that?"

Gabby's eyes lit up at the mention of the nativity. Matt gave her a questioning look, "What?" he asked.

Miguel gave a hearty laugh. "Young Gabby here loved the nativity scene when she was growing up," laughing at the memory, likely a similar one that Gabby was reliving. "In the Dominican Republic, the festive season starts very early…"

"More or less three months," Gabby interjected. Matt's eyebrows raised in surprise.

"We see it as an important and grand celebration," confirmed his father in law. "One that is so large that it starts in October and ends in January. When the children were growing up, we purchased this tree as Adriana wanted it up as long as possible. She and Gabby would spend hours decorating it. And we haven't needed to purchase another tree once we bought this one… Anyway one of the first decorations that signified the start of the festive season in the Dawson household was the nativity season. However," he laughed, "every few days the baby Jesus would go missing… Gabriela here would steal it and hide it. It happened for many many years."

"Hey," Gabby started to defend herself. "I spent many hours playing with it and my dolls. Stayed out of trouble. Papá why haven't we ever changed the set?"

"Your abula gave that to your mother and I when we were married, it had been hers previously. We hope to hand it down to you or Antonio one day too. Matthew - Many revellers put out nativity scenes to celebrate the occasion and remind family members about the religious underpinnings of the event, which often lasts late into the night as people catch up with relatives and friends."

"Good thing we're used to staying up late into the night with work," commented Matt as he reached for his coffee. It was delicious, he wondered if Gabby knew how to make this drink? It was yet another question that he would file away for later when they were alone.

Miguel shook his head slightly before continuing the education of his new son. "It is actually a little odd not to be joining all of the nationals going home to celebrate Christmas. There is a certain excitement felt in the streets throughout the country. The passion culminates with the fireworks that seem to happen more often the closer the holiday gets. Indulging oneself with all the traditional foods that we do not eat throughout the year is much anticipated. The aromas of food wharfs out into the streets from kitchens where people are preparing their specialities." Matt licked his lips in anticipation, whilst his wife was a decent cook, his mother in law had a special way with food too - dinner was going to be a feast. "There are parties, both private and community gatherings everywhere. The festive spirit is in abundance. On the faces of people, the lights and decorations, the festive feelings, the fireworks and the food." There was a far away look on Miguel's face as he spoke of his homeland.

"And the Reunion Feasts," added Adriana as she walked in from the kitchen. Miguel held out a hand towards her and allowed her to sit next to him. Once seated he rested their joined hands on his knee. "The return of Dominican expats from around the world is a major part of the Dominican Republic Christmas. Everyone wants to go visit the relatives that have been away working abroad all year and there are many, many parties and feasts as whole extended families get together for joyful reunions." Matt smiled at the older couple, enjoying their affection for each other and willingness to share everything.

"What are some of the other traditions?" Matt asked eagerly. Gabby gave a soft smile as she heard the emotion in Matt's voice. He would never understand how thankful she was that he had embraced her culture. Especially with such eagerness.

Before she knew it Gabby was drifting off to sleep, warm and secure in her husband's arms whilst she listened to her father speak of the fireworks or cohetes y petardos, the firecrackers of all types that were lit during the season. And of Double Sueldo; a Christmas bonus Dominican style. As a traditional token of Christmas cheer, most employees receive an extra month's pay in December and so had a little extra cash on hand.

Most of all she enjoyed hearing about the tradition of gift exchange called Un Angelito or A Little Angel in English. Gabby remembered participating in this when they had returned to the Dominican over the years. All the names of the members of the family were placed in a sack, then a name is selected from the bunch. The person whose name you chose was your Angelito. Every week during the Christmas holiday you had to give that person a gift. The identity of your Angelito had to be kept secret until the last day of the gift exchange where you must divulge yourself. She had received many special gifts over the holidays, none more so than when her Abuelo had been the person giving her gifts. He had enjoyed showering his granddaughter with many gifts.

As her father started speaking of the Christmas carols that were unique to the Spanish holiday, Matt began to rub a thumb across Gabby's belly. Juggling her slightly, he knew that she had fallen in a slumber when he heard that her breathing had evened out. Reaching down carefully Matt was able to retrieve a light blanket to pull up around her, leaving his hands firmly on her belly. The Dawsons shared a look, grateful that their daughter had found a loving partner in life. It wasn't that Laura hadn't fitted right into their family, but neither Miguel nor Adriana could place a time that their son had been that openly affectionate with his wife - not even when they were first married. Before Eva was born Adriana was sure that there was a strong spark between them, and they had always displayed their affection for each other, no matter where they were. But this level of intimacy, a gentleness that Matt was showing towards Gabby, was one that they hadn't seen from their elder son. Both were ready to see the next stage in the Caseys lives.

"What time is Misa del Gallo?" Antonio's voice boomed as he came rushing through the door, without bothering to knock. Gabby woke with a start at the loud noise. Matt hushed her quietly, as he ran a soothing hand through her curls.

"Antonio Miguel Diego Dawson ¿quién te enseñó a entrar en esta casa con tu voz levantada? Tu hermana está dormida. Tu padre y yo te enseñamos mejores modales que esto," his mother reprimanded as he appeared in the doorway. Antonio actually took a step back; he knew he was in trouble when he heard his entire name. He gave a sheepish smile as a greeting, taking a seat in the empty armchair.

Matt gave Miguel a confused look; even though he had been part of the Dawson family for a number of years, his high school Spanish still wasn't helping him, especially when it was spoken that fast.

"Just being told off for waking Gabby up," informed Antonio.

"Little more than that Antonio," Gabby gleefully added as she brought herself up to a more upright position. "Mamá and Papá always taught us not to come barrelling into the house. There was to be no shouting."

Antonio gave a dirty look before turning back to his parents, "Again what time is Misa del Gallo?"

"6 pm at Holy Name Cathedral," supplied Adriana speaking of their regular church, the one she and Miguel attended when they were back in Chicago.

"Misa del Gallo?" parroted Matt, every time someone opened their mouths another unknown term was thrown upon him.

"Midnight Mass," supplied Miguel.

The confusion didn't let up on Matt's face, "Midnight mass? At 6 pm?"

Gabby let out a slight breath of laughter as she ran a finger across his cheek before giving him a quick peck. "Normally we would do the big dinner and then go to mass; carolling generally starts at 11:20 and then we would eat again when we came home. But this year Mamá thought it would be better if we went early," she commented smoothing the blanket over her bump. "I probably wouldn't make it to midnight mass at the moment," she laughed.

"That sounds about right Sis," Antonio teased. Getting up he moved towards the coffee station that his father had ready for him, narrowly missing the cushion that Gabby threw at him.

* * *

Matt helped Gabby out of the car and stood in awe at the enormous cathedral that they soon came upon.

"Did you know," Antonio spoke to him, "that this was rebuilt in the wake of the Great Chicago Fire of 1871? And it is also the seat of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Chicago and the Archbishop of Chicago."

"That's been drilled into you, hasn't it Tonio?" Gabby laughed from beside Matt. "Come on Matt, it's not that scary," she told him as she led him towards the bronzed doors trailing after their parents.

Matt's breath was taken away as he walked into the gothic-like building. The ceiling had to be at least 100 feet high. Architecturally it was a stunning piece of art. He couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. Staring at the huge pipe organ at the front of the building, he stopped dead until Gabby tugged on his shirt. All around him, people were milling about, he watched his in-laws greeted their friends as Antonio and Gabby slid into a pew. Sighing one last time, he slid in after her leaving enough room for their elders.

"Wow!" he breathed, "How many people does this church seat? 1,000?"

"More like over 2,000," supplied Antonio before he settled back into his position.

"Thank you," Gabby spoke in a small voice, linking her arm in with Matt's as he drew her close. "I know that you aren't particularly religious. Thank you for coming to with us."

Matt gave her a slight smile, wanting to kiss her but he was sure that wouldn't be appropriate for a setting like this. "So," he started. "What is actually going to happen here today?"

Today really was an experience for Matt, full of many firsts. "These masses serve as a calling, gathering faithful followers for a celebration of God. Services begin with an entrance of the priest, which includes a sung hymn. Upon reaching the altar, the priest signs the Cross, indicating the presence of Christ. A second hymn, Gloria in Excelsis follows, and a Collect wraps up the first phase. The priest then calls for silence, reads passages from the Bible and offers a Responsorial Psalm. Liturgy of the Eucharist follows, with offerings, prayer and Communion, which involves the symbolic drinking of wine and consumption of bread, representing the Blood and Body of Christ. Then Concluding Rites complete services," rambled off Gabby like a well oiled machine. She had experienced all throughout her formative years. Matt, on the other hand, felt like he hadn't understood a single word of it.

"You are allowed to stay seated through the communion," came Miguel's voice from beside Matt. Matt looked over with wide eyes as he and Adriana came to a stop. "You haven't been baptised in the Catholic faith, so you are not to take communion."

Matt just nodded. It was going to be a long service he thought to himself.

* * *

"Dinner!" exclaimed Antonio once they were home from mass. "Bro," he started as he clapped a hand on Matt's back, "This is a feast like you've never had before." Matt didn't doubt him for a second. His eyes widen at the enormous spread of food on the dining room table.

"Christmas dinner in the Dominican is almost like a traditional Thanksgiving dinner here in the United States," explained Gabby graciously accepting the pulled out seat that Matt offered her. Normally she would be running around in the kitchen helping her mother with last minute preparations and the like, but this year her mother wouldn't even entertain the idea. And after a long mass and introducing Matt to what seemed like each and every one of her parents' friends, Gabby was very ready to sit.

"I recognise those Empanadas," pointed out Matt as Miguel and Adriana finished setting the table. Licking his lips, he asked, "Are they filled with chicken or beef?"

"Both Matthew," assured Adriana knowing how much the boys enjoyed them, as she took a seat opposite her husband who sat at the head of the table. Once thanks had been given for their meal, Antonio took the lead in explaining what every item was displayed before them.

"First we have Pasteles en hoja - tamales that are filled with meat encased in a dough made from root vegetables; Russian Salad, contains potatoes, carrots, tayota, petit pois, onion, vinegar and mayonnaise; La Telera -that's a type of bread which is mostly eaten at Christmas…" he pointed out each of the items. "And of course the crowning glory of any Christmas dinner - the roast pork."

Matt's mouth was watering at just the description of the food.

"And," added Miguel as he passed around the drinks, "Typical Dominican Republic Christmas drinks include red wine, this is Anis del Mono which is the most popular in our family… and over there," he pointed "is ponche de huevo or eggnog. The Dominicans are big on their alcohol during the festive sessions."

"Sorry Sis," Antonio teased, not sounding in the least bit sorry taking the wine glass offered to him.

Miguel gave her a soft smile as he passed over a glass to Gabby. "We didn't forget you hija."

"Papá… gracias..." Gabby spoke after she swallowed a mouthful of the proffered drink. "Matt try this, it's jengibre," she told him as she offered him a taste. "It's a drink made with ginger root, cinnamon and heaps of sugar." She licked her lips, "All the children in the family have this when all the adults are having their alcoholic drinks… It was a favourite of mine," she explained.

Conversation flowed well as each spoke about what had been going on in their lives. Antonio spoke of how he was hoping to see Eva and Diego in the new year. Gabby spoke of her new learning experience that was the Fire Academy. And just as Matt thought he wasn't able to eat another mouthful, Adriana brought out the fruits, sweets and Christmas cake.

Matt shook his head slightly, he was going to have to spend some extra time in the gym when he was back on shift, just to shed all the extra calories he was consuming at the Dawson household.

* * *

Matt awoke with a start, trying to remember where he was. It was a foreign room to him. And he was in an empty bed. Squinting at the clock he found it was only 4 am on Christmas morning. Yet Gabby was already up. Reaching for a jumper, he quietly padded his way down towards the ground floor, hoping to find her in either the living room or kitchen. Maybe she had become hungry.

He soon located her sitting in front of the giant Christmas tree, dressing gown pulled tightly around her figure, grasping a tall glass of milk. She was watching intently all of the sparkling fairy lights that lit up the Christmas tree, mesmerised.

Matt trod on the wooden floor slightly louder as to alert her to his presence. "Couldn't sleep?" he questioned as he sat down on the floor next to her.

"Something like that," she replied. Matt scooted a bit closer to the armchair so he could rest his back against it. Once he was settled Gabby too shuffled backwards and rested her head against his chest, her breathing calmed by the steady beat of his heart.

"Did you see what the house got us for Christmas?" Matt asked, pointing to a small box near the front of the tree. Gabby shook her head and reached for it.

"Well it is technically Christmas," she mused shaking the small box, but it gave no clues as to what was inside. "Wonder what it is?"

"Hurry up and open it… Sev said we'd like. And God help us if that's Sev's opinion..." he urged. He had to resist the urge to roll his eyes at the care and precision that she was taking to preserve the paper. Opening what looked like a boxed up cheque book, Gabby started to laugh. "What is it?"

Gabby was gasping for a breath whilst trying to calm her laughing down so she passed over the present to Matt. A grin spread across his face and he gave a small snort. Enclosed in the small box was a series of vouchers that one of their fire family had made - a heap of babysitting vouchers, meal vouchers, cleaning vouchers or general around the house vouchers from each of the members of Firehouse 51.

"Should I be concerned that most of these babysitting ones are from Otis and Cruz?" Matt questioned. He wasn't too sure if he was willing to trust Crotis with his child.

"And they are from both of them together, there are single ones from 'Uncle Kelly' as he seemed to have bestowed on himself and Stella has offered to cook for us," pointed out Gabby. "Although remember Otis with Louie the first time he came to the house? With the Jell-O? He was really good with him."

"Hmm," Matt screwed up his face slightly, still not convinced. "Suppose I could get them to clean the firehouse if they don't do a good job," he mentioned. "With a toothbrush," he added evilly as an extra thought.

"What do you think Antonio got us?" Gabby inquired as she spied another package with her name on it.

"I suppose you'll find out when he gives it to you," Matt warned, pushing the package just out of her reach. Gabby just pulled a face at him.

"I think it will have some sort of police car on it if it's something for Smudge," she announced after another moment of contemplation. "He is so concerned that everyone is going to give us fire truck items…"

"Rightly so," Matt proudly interrupted.

"That he," Gabby rolled her eyes at him, "He just wants to make sure that Tio Antonio is properly represented. So expect a massive load of CPD swag."

Shaking his head slightly, he had to hand it to his brother-in-law. Even against a house full of firefighters, he still stood his ground. Wiggling out from behind Gabby, Matt strode over to the tree and plucked out a small wrapped present. Sitting back down next to her, he held it out. "Merry Christmas Baby."

Gabby gave him a soft smile. "Don't worry, I've still got something to give you when we exchange presents with the family," he assured her.

Gabby knew better than to protest, there was no point. If Matt wanted to give her all of these presents there would be no stopping him. She gasped softly as she unwrapped a delicate necklace from the paper. On a long chain lay a ball shaped pendant with intricate circular patterns giving it an antique feeling. Bring it up for closer inspection, she heard a soft ringing sound. "It's beautiful Matt," she leant over to kiss him.

"It's a bola pendant, Christie told me about it. She insisted that I get you one. Once I heard the story, I knew that I need to find one. Apparently, it's also called a Harmony Ball and it is an ancestral jewellery that has been celebrated for centuries in the Mayan culture. The pendant sphere contains a silver ball that emits a subtle and harmonious chime when shaken, that brings calm and soothing. Legend has it that the soft jingling sound, that is unique for each Bola, is magic: it has the power to call the Guardian Angel of the wearer to provide them protection, comfort and guidance throughout life. In Mayan culture, it was worn during pregnancy, to protect expectant mothers and their babies," he quickly read off the enclosed card.

Gabby shuffled around so she was situated comfortably between Matt's spread legs. Carefully brushing her dress gown open, Matt placed the necklace over Gabby's head. She smiled as the ball rested gently on her protruding belly.

"When I bought it the lady who sold it to me told me that during pregnancy the chime pendant is worn low, resting against the bump so that any movement means baby hears the gentle ringing sounds. Once born the same chimes will be a reassuring and familiar sound to the baby." He smiled as he placed his hand on either side of the pendant after giving it a quick tap to make it ring. In the stillness and silence of the night, they were both able to hear it.

"Well Smudge is kicking up a bit of a storm so obviously Daddy picked the perfect gift," Gabby mentioned, her hands going to the underside of the belly. Matt matched her smile, once again he couldn't wait to the kicks were able to be felt from the outside. Suddenly his body stiffened, his hand moving along her belly once more.

Matt turned Gabby slightly so he was able to look her square in the face. His eyes were wide, full of a question. "Did I… Did I just feel that?"

"Yeah, yeah you did Daddy," Gabby laughed back as she guided his hand back towards where she could feel Smudge moving. Matt's whole face lit up. Gabby's face matched his as she watched the wonderment cross his face. She loved this look, one where Matt smiled with his whole face and the skin around his eyes crinkled. She wanted to kiss each and every crease on his face.

"I don't need you to give me a present…" he spoke softly, "This was the best present you could ever give me." Scooting so Gabby was firmly against the chair, Matt lowered himself so he was level with her belly. "Hey there Smudge, it's Daddy. You and Mama just gave me the best Christmas present ever," he spoke against her belly.

Gabby smiled as she let her head fall back against the chair and a hand massaged Matt's shoulder as she listened to him speak. Matt's smiled widened even more, he hadn't thought that possible, as he felt a light thumping against his hand. "You... my precious Smudge are going to be spoilt next Christmas. We can't wait to meet you," he whispered before pressing one last kiss to Gabby's belly.

 _~ Her nostrils are opening now for "practice breathing"; she'll go through the same motions of real breathing but inhale amniotic fluid instead of air ~_

* * *

 _Spanish Translation: Antonio - who taught you to come barging into this house, with your voice raised? Your sister is asleep. Your father and I taught you better manners than this._

 **One Christmas chapter down ~ Review and let me know what you think**

 **~Em**


	23. Week 25 - Tossing and Turning

**Happy 2017 everyone...**

 **Thanks as always to Rebecca for editing this for me especially at this busy time of the year.**

 **Just before we begin I thought I'd let everyone know that I'm changing my update day to Saturdays. Fridays just weren't as convenient to me. So look for my weekly updates on Saturdays for 2017.**

* * *

 _Week Twenty Five_

 _~ Candidate is the size of an acorn squash ~_

Gabby kept tossing and turning. Smudge was so active tonight and she just wasn't able to get comfortable at all. It had only been maybe four nights in the three weeks since she had left Ambo and started at the Academy that Matt had been on shift but she was struggling to fall asleep alone in their big bed. Since they had gotten back together the last time and they had moved back into their last apartment she didn't think they had ever spent a night apart. And over the two weeks that she had been at the Academy she had been so tired coming home after work that she hadn't had any trouble falling asleep and then with Christmas coming up last week she had been busy with her family and shopping with her mother that she had been worried about not being organised enough for Christmas, especially since it was the first Christmas that Miguel and Adriana had been in Chicago for quite a few years. So all in all sleep had come easily. Even if the bed had been strangely empty.

Turning onto her other side one more time, Gabby rubbed a spot on her lower back She couldn't remember what it was like to not be pregnant at this point! She couldn't quite believe that she was only six months pregnant, it felt like so much longer right now. Gabby knew it was worth every moment however there were plenty of aches and pains to accompany her nearly every waking moment as her body stretched to accommodate Smudge growing and it felt like her bump was getting bigger every day. She dreaded getting up in the morning, fearful of one morning not being able to fit into anything. However, she knew there was very little chance of that happening with the amount of clothes that she and Adriana had bought. Not to mention that Natalie had sent Will into Molly's with a bag of basics for her last week when she was doing a shift at the bar.

Either way she was not going to be getting any sleep anytime soon. Better to just get up and do something productive rather than just tossing and turning and getting herself worked up. Sliding out of bed, she pulled her dressing gown over the top of her pyjamas. Although she did feel like she was lugging around a heater at the moment it was still quite cool in the house, that was the problem with floorboards. Matt had turned the heat on when he had woken up before he had left for work and she had turned it down. There had been a few arguments over the thermostat temperature - he was turning it up and she was turning it down. She had been loving the days that Matt was working at one of his many jobs so she could turn the temp down. Matt had thought she had lost her mind last week when he came home from work and she had the windows in the bedroom open. It had been four below! It was not like she wasn't under a bed sheet, but she had needed some sort of cool air within the room too.

Grabbing Matt's pillow from the bed and a throw blanket that was laid across the back of their bedroom couch. Settling herself down into the corner of the chair, she reached out for her work bag that had been dumped by her seat. She had had a quiet-ish type of day at the Academy; in the lead up to and around the new year the candidates hadn't been around. The staff were still sorting out certain classes, Gabby had never known the Academy class to start so late in the year. She had commented to many at 51 that she still wasn't sure why they even had bothered starting two weeks ago, all up she believed that she had seen her students for about 7-8 days, if that. It would have just been a smarter idea all around for them to have started in the new year. The mind boggled for Gabby sometimes.

Leaning down, Gabby found it difficult to figure out how to bend at her waist, as her mother had commented yesterday Gabby was carrying Smudge low. Adriana had her ideas of what they were having based on that fact alone! Shuffling around on the couch so her feet were up she was able to rummage through her bag. Figuring that she wasn't going to be able to sleep for a while, she thought she'd do some reading of course material. That should put her in the mood for sleep. Fishing out her file and a pen, she scooted back up the chair and shoved a pillow under her back in the hopes of trying to get a bit more comfortable. She also managed to find some rice crackers in a small pocket of her bag. Over the last week, Gabby was finding herself snacking all through the day now. She had taken to packing into her bags, whether it be her work bag or even handbag, packets of dried fruits, salted mixed nuts and rice crackers.

Opening up her file, a small leather notebook fell out beside her. Turning it over in her hand, she ran a finger over the embossed Chicago Fire Department logo on the front. Flicking through it, she found it to have nice thick paper with lined pages. They had been given out at the Academy last week and Gabby had a few boxes of them sitting in her office currently. She had without really thinking about it thrown one into her bag the other day.

When she had first seen them she had thought it would make a good notebook for her class notes. Gabby had found herself slightly overwhelmed at the amount of lectures that she needed to present for her students on such a regular basis. By her last class during this week she had begun to feel them, her students, starting to slip away from her. Never once from the moment that she had decided to take up the instructor's job had she thought that this would end up being her permanent job. She loved being out on the road too much, nor had she thought that this was ever going to be an easy job. There had been many changes to the training that was delivered from time she had completed her original training. There was a shifting culture at the Fire Academy, one that Gabby was enjoying seeing. And then over the few short years since she had been a fire candidate things had also changed. The EMT candidates didn't seem to do as much physical training as the Fire ones, and after this freezing week Gabby was grateful for it. She still could remember Severide standing underneath the aerial, looking all important in his puffer jacket, shouting out orders. Her classes on the other hand tended to happen indoors in a lecture theatre. Luckily for her she hadn't been subjected to the snow and cold windy weather that Chicago was currently producing. Gabby was finding it so much more of a struggle to be on her feet for any period of time. She had taken to walking around the class and was even teaching from the back of the room at certain points during the day. Matt was supposed to bring in a bar type stool for her when the break was over. It was one that was high enough that she was still able to see right to the back of the class and it gave her a way to rest her feet up slightly, anything that was going to provide her with some relief was welcomed.

She had mentioned this in passing to Natalie just before Christmas. Gabby had complained that she felt like she was always ready to fall flat on her face, every time her bump grew that little bit more she felt her centre of gravity shift. And it was horrible to have to learn to readjust so often. Apparently that was what was causing her discomfort according to Natalie. She had explained that because Gabby's centre of gravity was shifting it was likely causing her to stand awkwardly to accommodate her growing uterus and that was putting pressing on the ligaments. All of which was not helped by the pregnancy hormones that were relaxing her joints ready for birth were also loosening the ligaments in her feet and hips. Gabby had scoffed at all of this and immediately taken a seat next to Natalie at the bar. Only yesterday had Gabby started to pack up her high-heeled shoes, knowing her luck she would be completely unsteady on her feet and stack it. Gabby's next mission was to find a pair of plain black sports shoes that she might be able to get past the Chief to be able to wear at work. The one thing that CFD wasn't good at were pregnant women.

On that whole idea she needed to remember to organise for either one of the Ambulance Commanders or PICs to come to do some training with her candidates. She learnt the other day that she wasn't able to easily get down to the ground where they completed much of their practical work. They did CPR training on the tables one day. Maybe she would be able to get Roger Sullivan in, he was a PIC and had taken over her spot at 51. She did know him from a previous house and according to Matt he was fitting into the house really well. Although from Brett, she would have been happier to have another female but overall it was working out quite well for them on Ambulance 61.

Tapping slightly on the cover a grin slowly spread across her face as an idea formed in her mind. Whilst she had never wanted her and Matt's relationship to be defined by the Fire Department it was undeniably a massive part of their lives - it's who they both worked for and where they had met, it was the place that seen the some of their highest highs and lowest lows. It was forever going to be part of them.

Fishing around for a pen she pulled out her favourite pen - the one she had stolen from Matt. Where he had even found it was still a mystery to her, it wasn't a regular ballpoint BIC that the department supplied. In any case he wasn't getting it back now. Feeling how thick a single page was she knew that it was going to soak up the ink well. Flipping past the first few pages, knowing that she wanted to add something else to the front of the book, she smoothed out a page and started to write.

 _Dear Smudge,_

 _I know_ _Mamá's_ _a little late in coming to the party. Daddy started on his letters weeks ago, there's already two that I know of, but he didn't tell me about them until I found his first one. It's not going to be long before we meet you. It's hard to believe that next week is the start of my third trimester. It's the home stretch now Smudge._

 _Over the last 25 weeks_ _Mamá_ _and Daddy have been through lots of changes. You've even travelled with me and done a shift on Truck, although_ _Mamá_ _didn't know about you back then - Daddy wouldn't have let me go running into a burning building if we had known about you then. You've been on lots of Ambo runs and now you're coming to the Fire Academy with me. Never has a baby known so much about the Chicago Fire Department before they were born. But you got a taste of what_ _Mamá_ _and Daddy go through every shift - firefighting runs in your blood bebé - but whatever you decide to do this okay too. You don't let Daddy, Tio Antonio or Uncle Kelly tell you you have to become a first responder._

 _And even though it's taken_ _Mamá_ _25 weeks to actually put pen to paper to write to you, I'm sure that there are going to many more letters to come. But you're going to be a bit bigger when we actually give you this book. I still want to write about how Daddy and I met, about your family here, both the Caseys and Dawsons, and about our firehouse family - all the people that already love you. I want to tell you about my childhood and about our Dominican culture. I want to write about how you became a reality and what we went through before you arrived. Daddy and I haven't always had an easy road, but that's okay too. It will come as no surprise to anyone that the logo on the front is important to our family. I wonder if Daddy wrote in his letter why we call you Smudge?_

 _Smudge - I can't stop thinking about what's it's going to be like to finally hold you in my arms. It feels like I've waited a lifetime for you to come home to us. And it makes me think about what type of mother I'm going to be. And whilst I know that I'll never live up to the picture in that perfect mother in my head, I want to be the best mother I can be to you. Just like your abula was to me. Your abula is an amazing woman Smudge._

 _I promise to begin and end your days with the reminder that I adore you. At night, you'll hear "I love you" loud and clear, and I promise to wake you up each morning with a soft voice and an open smile, just the way my_ _mamá_ _did with me. That might seem like a small thing, but trust me: it makes for a pleasant start to the day, and when you're a teenager, you'll be really, really grateful that I'm not shoving the curtains open and yelling for you to get up._

 _When you try new things, I promise not to show you that I'm a tiny bit (or, more likely, very) scared. Deep down I might be worried or anxious or slightly terrified of what might happen if it doesn't work out for you, but I won't let my fears slow you down. I'll tell you to take chances, to go for it, to trust yourself. I promise to trust you. Just like Daddy did with me, you'll hear many stories of how_ _Mamá_ _worked under Daddy at the Firehouse. Your Daddy is the best lieutenant ever and he taught me well - even if he was scared to let me become a firefighter he still supported me. And we will support you in the same way._

 _If you mess up in a small way, I promise to acknowledge it, help you, then let it go. And whenever you mess up in a big way, I promise to feel the weight of it and push you to do the same. I promise to let you make those tough mistakes, to address them when I need to, and to keep on loving you all the same. Daddy and I have learnt how important it is to communicate. This is one of the most important lessons that I want to teach you._

 _But there are so many more things that I want to teach you too. Much too many to write about in this letter. But I sit here tonight and wonder what you're going to be like? Who are you going to look like? And are you going to be more like_ _Mamá_ _? Or Daddy? We don't even know if you're a boy or girl yet. Yes, a very uncommon decision for today's standards - but_ _Mamá_ _just didn't need to know. We're going to love you whether you're a boy or girl. And I think not knowing if going to be a huge motivator for_ _Mamá_ _when you're ready to arrive. There something that_ _Mamá is hoping for, and that's that you are a real mix of both of your parents._

 _Smudge you are a much loved and longed for baby. You'll hear over your life that you weren't Mama and Daddy's first baby. Our first baby… We never heard a heartbeat. Life circumstances have deemed that to be so, it just wasn't meant to be. But like Mr Herrmann said 'our day is coming'. And then we fostered our little boy Louie - but life had other plans for us. But you my sweet, sweet bebé… You are coming into a family with much love to give._

 _To my bebé, I promise to love you, to do my best for you, and to always be here for you. I hope your heart and soul is always filled with love, and I believe it will be – for it is with love that you have already filled mine._

 _Lots of love,_

 _Mamá_ _xx_

Clicking her pen off, Gabby managed to capture the tear that was threatening to fall before it would be able to smudge the paper. Laughing slightly at the thought, Gabby decided that she needed to see Matt. It was pushing 10 pm at night and she just wasn't going to be able to sleep, not without seeing Matt. For a fleeting moment she thought about texting or phoning him first, but then never gave it another thought. Pushing herself off the couch she returned the items to her bag and went in search of some warm clothes.

Knowing that she needed to head out in the snow and she was likely going to be lazing around the house with the company she was going to go with wearing something comfortable. Dipping into Matt's wardrobe she was left with her black yoga pants, a long sleeve shirt that covered her bump well and then CFD jumper from Matt's side. Sometimes she was surprised that Matt's clothes were still fitting her comfortably and well over her torso.

With one last rub of Smudge, she picked up her work bag and headed out to the car with one last stop to pick up her large overcoat, a trench coat with waist cinch that her parents had bought for her as a Christmas present. It had been a favourite of hers. The coat was a beautiful deep navy blue colour that she was confident that she would be able to wear post-pregnancy too.

Wow it was cold outside Gabby thought to herself as she hurried as fast as could towards the car. Throwing her bag across to the passenger's side of the car, she slid into the driver's side quickly. Grumbling slightly she buckled up; one thing she didn't miss about working on Ambo was all the time she would have had to spend buckled into a seat. She was finally pregnant to the point where wearing a seatbelt was cumbersome, she now had to position the lower part of the belt below her bump and have it flat against her hips. Still she spent the whole journey to the firehouse pulling and adjusting the belt. It wasn't as bad during the day when she wasn't wearing three layers.

As it was so cold, she was fairly overjoyed to find a parking spot right outside the house. Moving towards the side entrance she noticed that the apparatus floor was empty. She pondered for a few moments for how long the rigs had been out for and how long they might be. There was no way of knowing either, there were no office staff at this time of night and there would be no point ringing Matt - he wouldn't pick up if he was out on a job. Rather she wandered through the common room and picked up a cup and made herself a hot chocolate before making her way into Matt's office. Discarding her thick coat, she placed everything she was carrying down. Stretching out the kinks in her back, she sat down at Matt's desk. Gabby couldn't believe that she was still awake at 10 pm.

Pulling out her work file with the course work she looked over what she was needing to do and how she was planning to teach it. That lasted about 10 minutes. Once she had finished her hot drink she decided that moving onto Matt's bunk was a better idea. That chair was uncomfortable. Leaning down to the small cubbyhole next to Matt's bed she pulled out a pillow. It was at this time that Gabby wished that she maybe had brought her own pillow. But who would have expected that she would arrive to an empty house? Spying Matt's puffer jacket on the floor next to the bed, she decided that could be used too. Sighing contentedly, Gabby managed to get her knees bent and a pillow under them with another pillow and the jacket behind her back.

Tapping her pen against the course material Gabby pondered what she needed to start the new year with. The higher ups at the academy were okay with the way that Gabby wanted to teach the course, they only had a few specific requests that certain topics were covered by a certain date. However she did need to sort out when she would be covering topics to at least let the other instructors know and have an outline for whoever it may be that would be taking over from her. There were at least 14 topics that needed covering and she was struggling to decide between the more practical classes and theory components. They had briefly touched on the EMS systems during their first classes but Gabby was sure that they would have to revisit that again in the future. She also wanted to get the legal and ethical issues of EMS out of the way but it seemed somewhat ridiculous to do that straight after the Christmas break. Tapping her pen, she was starting to get frustrated, this would have been easier if the Academy just provided her with the course structure. Moving of patients would be a good practical class to do, but she wasn't too sure how she was going to teach that class solo. She also jotted down that she was going to need to organise clinical hours for the students too. Argh, now she was getting even more aggravated, no way she was going to sleep anytime soon.

With that thought Smudge managed to lodge his head up against her rib cage, it had shocked her the first time it happened. Trying to take a deep breath was very hard and Gabby's hands moved down under her file to her belly. She pushed her head back against the pillow in an attempt to lengthen her spine and hopefully dislodge Smudge from against her ribs, but it did very little to ease the pain and Gabby found herself needing to get up. As she threw her reading material to the end of the bunk and rose, Smudge gave her a swift kick in the bladder. Well there was no point fighting it she supposed.

Upon her return she decided that she could be in for a long wait to see Matt, but she didn't want to head home without seeing him either. There was something that was familiar and comforting in this office. To top it off she was finding herself more comfortable here rather than at home tossing in the bed. Gabby gathered up the last of her work and placed it in a pile on Matt's desk, she just couldn't manage to grab her bag off the floor, she was much too tired for that now. Once lying on the bed Gabby did manage to get a pillow wedged between her legs and she scrunched Matt's jacket up into a ball to hug. She had just settled in when she realised that she was facing the windows that looked out into the bunk room and the lights were flooding in. Yet there was no way she was going to even try and turn over now, this was the most comfortable she had been all night. The familiar scent of Matt's office both of an almost smoky scent and the man himself was lulling her off to sleep. As she rested a hand protectively cradling her belly her last conscious thought was 'Why is this place any different to home? Both smell like Matt!'

* * *

It was not long after this that the garage doors rumbled to life. Each of the occupants of the Truck were silent, it had been a long call out to a fully involved high rise building fire. They had been out since 4:30 and everyone was tired and hungry. Casey was staring out of the window at the dimly lit street as Otis started to back the rig into the bay. That car near the entrance looked strangely familiar. He stared for a while longer before running a hand over his weary face.

"I'm going to throw together some sandwiches or something," yawned Jimmy as he hung his turncoat up. Casey watched as everyone made their way towards the break room.

"You coming Casey?" questioned Herrmann as he reached the door.

"Go on," Casey waved them by. "I'm going to get started on this report and then hit the sack."

"More for me then," Severide commented as he passed them. Casey was just too tired to even grace him with an answer or any type of gesture.

Instead of following Casey shrugged out of his turnout gear and slipped his socked feet back into his station boots. Slowly he dragged his weary body towards his office, however the light shining out from beneath his closed office door made him stop in his tracks. They had left whilst the sun was still up and he nearly always had his door open. Carefully he opened the door to poke his head in. What he saw took his breath away. He stood for a moment taking in Gabby's sleeping form. She had fallen asleep on top of the blankets with her hair splayed across his pillow and hand cradling Smudge protectively. Quickly and quietly he drew the remaining open blinds in his office and changed the main overhead light to the small beside the bed one. He leant down to press a kiss onto her forehead, but quickly withdrew his hand from her cold arms. Casey couldn't believe that she had managed to fall asleep in such cold weather. Shaking his head, he headed out in search for another blanket and pillow, there was no way he was going to be able to get the blanket out from underneath her.

"Hey Sev..." Casey tapped on Severide's office door where he was shovelling down a sandwich whilst reading some papers. Severide looked up with a questioning look on his face. "Do you have a spare pillow and blankets?"

"Casey, I know it's cold man, but how many pillows do you need? Don't you have Dawson's old one too?" a half smirk appeared on his face.

"Gabby's here. She's asleep in my office," confessed Casey.

"Dawson's here?"

"Quiet down," Casey ordered his eyebrows raising. "You'll wake her up! Or you'll let the rest of the house know…"

"Why?" Severide questioned in typical fashion with very few words.

Casey simply shrugged fishing his phone out of his pocket. "Nothing," he commented scrolling through his text messages finding nothing from Gabby explaining why she might be in his office.

"I'll just get…" Severide motioned before starting to getting up to find the extra blankets and pillow.

Somehow Casey managed to get back into his office without running into anyone else. Severide had managed to find a few extra blankets, how he even knew where to find them shocked Casey. He would have normally had to ask Connie or someone to find this stuff, they just weren't items that he knew where to find.

Once he had draped the blankets over Gabby, tucked her in and after one last rub of Smudge Casey settled himself down at his head flicking on his desk light in preparation for report writing. But it just never came to him, he just wasn't able to work out why Gabby was here and why she hadn't called him first. She hadn't mentioned wanting to come for a visit, she still saw all of the house at Molly's. It just didn't make sense why she would turn up unannounced, especially in this icy weather. Casey didn't like her driving in this weather, they had received too many road accident calls during this weather. As time went on he heard each of his men turn in for the night. The alarm blared for a call for Ambo and he shot up ramrod straight fearing that Gabby would be woken, but nothing. She slept straight through it. Just another indication to him that she was exhausted.

Giving a slight chuckle to himself, he pushed his report away from him and gathered up Gabby's work files intent on packing them up for her. He looked up from packing her bag as he heard something clatter to the floor. Crouching down he picked up the little brown leather book that had fallen. Looking from it to Gabby and then back again he pondered whether or not to open it. Realistically it was with all of Gabby's work gear, so it probably was just notes for her academy classes, she had mentioned that she wanted to have more clear outlines for her teaching.

Either way Casey decided to flick it open to see what was in there. A couple of years ago he might have been worried that this was an invasion of privacy, but now he thought nothing of it. Flicking through it a smile spread across his face as he found a letter from Gabby to Smudge. He had meant to ask Gabby about writing some more letters to Smudge, but obviously they had very similar thoughts about this subject. As he read the last few paragraphs of her letter, his mind started to wander. What type of parent was he going to be? Gabby seemed so confident in her letter… She knew what type of mother she was going to be, it just seemed that she had it all together. A flash of fear overtook him - what if he couldn't do it? What if he was a terrible father?

* * *

Casey gave a long heavy sigh as he walked out towards the common room, he just didn't have the heart to wake his wife up. In the time that he had come back to the house and discovered her in his office, she had cuddled deep into his bunk and was sleeping peacefully. And Casey had noticed on the few days that he had been working that Gabby was curling into his side when he was getting into bed the next morning after shift. Not to mention that it was quite obvious how tired she was and there was no way that he was going to be waking her up. However it did pose the question as to where he was going to sleep… Couple of months ago they might have been able to fit into his bunk together.

Pulling the coffee carafe out of it usual position, he leant back against the cool metal of the kitchen bench with the large steaming mug of coffee.

"Lieutenant?" came a gravelly voice from the couch. Casey looked over at the couch where Herrmann was sitting watching some late night television. He had forgotten that there would be someone on night watch. "Everything okay?"

Casey regarded the older man, his second in command, for a moment or two. "Yeah, everything's okay…" he tried to brush off. In return Herrmann glared for a second and flicked the TV off.

"Thought you were hitting the sack early?" he prodded as he reached for a coffee too. Matt refused to say too much rather he found himself sitting at the head of the table.

As he sat the quietness that surrounded him allowed him to think about what was running through his head. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Herrmann take a seat next to him and pick up the newspaper. Watching Gabby snooze in his bed had stirred up some unknown feelings in him. There had been no questions that his blood pressure and anxiety had lessened a fair amount since Gabby had taken a different, not on the road job. But seeing her with his CFD clothes on sleeping in the office made him wonder about everything that was coming in his way in the very near future. It was like all of a sudden he was going to be a father and he wasn't too sure if he was ready. Was he fooling himself? Was he going to be a good father? Let's be honest, unlike Gabby it wasn't like he had to best role models as parents. And how much of that stuff was genetic? Louie had come to them already able to talk and tell them what he did and didn't want. How was he going to cope with a baby whose only mechanism was crying or screaming?

"How do you do it?" Casey quietly asked, putting his cup down on the table.

"Do what?"

"Be a father…" Casey simply stated. Herrmann put his newspaper away and studied Casey. "Gabby's here, she's asleep on my bunk…"

"Dawson's here?" interrupted Herrmann, surprised evident in his voice. Never would he have thought that she would be here, not on such a cold night.

"Yeah, she must have come in when we were out on that call. All of her work stuff is here, so maybe she came in to do some paperwork - couldn't sleep or something. And I was watching her sleep whilst you guys were eating and it suddenly occurred to me, this is really happening. In a few months Smudge is going to be here… And then, I don't know… I didn't know how to breathe…" Casey trailed off looking into his cup.

Herrmann sighed, had it been anyone else that Casey was talking to in any other situation, they probably would have laughed - their truck lieutenant being surprised that his wife was having a baby in a few short months after being so excited about it. Casey had been thrilled about the new arrival however Herrmann had noticed a slight fear in Dawson early on, but never in Casey. His lieutenant was born to be a father, nothing could change that… But Herrmann could remember that terror he felt when Cindy was expecting their first. Nothing ever could prepare you for that - no matter how much you wanted a family, somewhere and at some point everything suddenly becomes real and you get scared.

"Let me give you some advice from someone who's been there Lieutenant…" Herrmann started. Casey looked him in straight in the eyes and nodded slightly. "You don't know everything; you aren't supposed to… And this anxiety you're feeling, it's normal," confirmed Herrmann.

"Gabby's got it all together. And all of this…" he gestured around himself. "How do I do it? How am I supposed to be a good father, husband, fireman, alderman, and still be a good lieutenant?" he questioned ticking off the positions on his fingers.

"You don't know Casey. But somewhere in that sleepless haze you'll find that it's all come together. Somewhere you'll find that you and Dawson get everything in a routine…"

"You mean Gabby will have it all together. I feel like I'm a ride that I can't get off…" mused Casey more to himself than anyone else.

Herrmann gave him a slightly screw up of his mouth whilst thinking what he needed to say. "Casey - Cindy always says to me I'm not the backup parent, I'm their father. And she's right. There isn't much she's wrong about though," he shrugged, thinking about what Cindy would say to the man in front of him. One whose eyes were downcast and shoulders slumped. "You're a full, equal partner in the whole situation. Never let the fact that other people aren't sure what to do with a man fool you into thinking that you're anything less than critical to every step of the process. You are going to love that kid of yours more than anyone else…"

"What if I screw up?"

Herrmann's eyes widen at that last comment. Something definitely had shaken Casey - may be the lateness and silence of the night was allowing all of his fears to surface.

"You're not going to break your kid. Kids are durable. Heck, I've got five and they're all still here and perfectly healthy. Might have a bit to do with Cindy though… Do not be surprised or feel guilty if you don't fall in love with your kid right away. There's an idea that the moment you first hold your child combined with instant love. Sometimes it doesn't happen right away…but it's going to happen. Casey you've waited so long for this - Don't pressure yourself."

Casey scoffed slightly. So many weeks ago he had told Gabby that he would be the one who was ready for everything even if she wasn't. And then all of a sudden he had become so overwhelmed about becoming a father and nothing that Herrmann was saying to him was going to change his mind. "I'm worried about not being a good father. I know what it's like to not have a father, and I don't want to repeat the cycle.

"Parent your way. Ignore the advice you don't like, because if you think the way that somebody parents is crazy, they think the same about you. Don't worry about it. It is your kid, and you are the candidate's parent. You and Dawson have done this before…"

"But that wasn't a newborn baby Herrmann… That changes everything," Casey interrupted.

"But you know what it's like to be a parent Lieutenant… When Cindy and I first announced we were having our first, and we never told anyone about that first loss, all the older firefighters at my house, they all said it was life-changing and it most definitely is. It is one of the most demanding, aggravating, tiring, gruelling and smelliest things a human being can ever do. Yet right when you get to that breaking point the damnedest thing happens. Your little baby looks you in the eyes and you look in theirs and you see yourself in them. Then they smile that special, toothless smile that only the two of you share. You know, the one they use just for you. They look up at you with those impossible baby blue eyes and smile that perfect little smile... and you melt. And whatever fears you had, they won't matter anymore… You've got this Matt."

Casey thought about everything that Herrmann was telling him. Deep down the fears were still very real to him. They weren't something that he would be able to easily shake, but maybe it was something that he would be able to work through. Finishing the last of his coffee, he stood and clapped a hand on Herrmann's shoulder. "Thanks Herrmann…"

Herrmann nodded in reply. "Anytime Lieutenant… Go try and get some sleep…" Raising his voice slightly as Casey reached the door, "You can always have my bed if you need," he joked.

* * *

Casey quietly padded through the sleeping quarters noticing that even Severide's door was closed and the lights off. Straining at his watch he was surprised to see that it was nearly 1 am. Hopefully they wouldn't have another call again tonight. Slipping into his own quarters he noticed that Gabby was still fast asleep facing the door. Luckily for him… There was no way he would have been able to squeeze between the wall and bed if she was facing the outside windows and still be able to do what he wanted to do. He stood just inside the door frame watching as her chest rose and fell with each breath. Carefully, silently lowering himself to the floor, Casey shuffled down until he was level with Gabby's belly. Tucking a leg underneath his bunk, he moved his face towards Smudge and placed a hand over her belly.

Taking a deep breath, he thought about what it running through his head… "Hey Smudge, it's your Daddy here. Daddy's been thinking about you lately…" He smiled as he felt a slight thump in response, he looked up at Gabby to see if she was going to stir but nothing. "I guess you can hear me then," he laughed. "I'm your Daddy, I'm the one who is going to protect you and keep you safe. I'm your dad who worries so much because I care so deeply about the family that you are about to enter into. I'm your dad who wants to provide for you so that you can live a life that I never lived. I'm that dad who wants to give you the experiences that I couldn't have growing up. I'm Lieutenant Casey with the Chicago Fire Department, I'm Alderman Casey for the 52nd Ward, I'm Matthew Casey husband to Gabriela… But most importantly I'm your daddy…."

Casey took another deep breath; it was all or nothing here. "And Smudge I don't know what I'm doing here… What type of parent I'm going to be? I've not no clue. I know that I won't get it right all the time, but I can promise you that I'm going to try real hard, I'll do my best. I will love you from the moment I hold you in my arms at the hospital to the moment I take my last breath. I know that it is difficult to understand that I might not always be there for you, but it is something that I am grappling with myself right now. You'll learn that working as a firefighter is sometimes a scary job, but I will always try to get home to you and your Mamá. But I do know that I'm going to be your dad, the one who loves you… And I'll love you no matter what," he finished leaning in to press a kiss to Gabby's covered belly.

A sniff caught his ears causing him to look him. He found Gabby brush away a tear from her eyes.

"Hey, hey, hey," he soothed rushing to gather her up in his arms.

"Matt, that was so sweet," she sniffed nestling her head under his chin. "Smudge and I are so lucky to have you…"

Casey smiled pulling her closer, rubbing circles on her belly. "I love you," he whispered as he dropped a final kiss onto her head.

 _~ He's developing a firm grasp and may reach out and grab the umbilical cord. He can also stick out his tongue! ~_

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed the latest week. There have been certain scenes that I've had very clearly in my mind with this story ~ The scene of Gabby tossing and turning in their bed and then Matt finding her in his office was one that I've had since the beginning of this story. It is also one of my favourite scenes from the 40 weeks, if I can say that.**

 **Please review and let me know what you think**

 **~Em**


	24. Week 26 - Car Seats and Names

**There is a scene that was inspired by an interview with Jesse and Taylor at the** **2016 Monte-Carlo Television Festival, let me know when you pick it.**

 **Thanks for Rebecca for editing and to Junko for letting me rant when I was trying to write this chapter ~Em**

* * *

 _Week Twenty Six_

 _~ Candidate is nearly as long as a zucchini ~_

Gabby took a deep breath as she stepped out of her car and surveyed the very large baby store in front of her. Having a random day off that coincided with Matt's in the middle of the week was rare. With that in mind, Matt had moved his construction job that he was supposed to work until his next clear day and stashed all of his alderman paperwork away for later in the evening. And now here they were. On the hunt for baby items.

"Ready?" Matt asked as he came around the car, his hand outstretched ready to take hers. Gabby nodded as she ran over in her mind what she wanted to get today. People had advised her to do her research and not to rush into buying things. And that there were certain things that she needed to get new. Many of the mothers around her had offered to pass on their clothes, shoes and toys that were still good, so Gabby had struck many of those items off her purchasing list. What she really wanted from today was a crib.

Hurrying towards the door in an attempt to get out of the cold, Gabby made a beeline for the baby furniture. Matt froze faintly, he had been organising with Antonio and Kelly to make the crib, change table and rocking chair, Miguel had even managed to organise all of the wood for them and plans for them. How was he supposed to discourage Gabby from purchasing one?

"I was thinking..." he started somewhat hesitantly. "That maybe we should start with the car seat?"

"Why?" Gabby asked spinning around on the spot. Matt's eyes widen slightly at her quick turnaround and at the price of the item she was looking at. That much for what was effectively a piece of wood? If he hadn't already been thinking about making one, he most definitely would be now. Just because it had a baby tag on it, it seemed to become so much more expensive. He knew that babies were expensive, but that much? How did people on smaller incomes cope?

"Well we are going to need more than one seat," started Matt thinking on his feet. "And… I've been thinking Gabby…" he reached out a hand towards hers. "I was thinking that it might be time for a new truck. One that has back seats. We can't have only one car…" Gabby was in shock; Matt had never mentioned anything about changing his truck nor had she wanted to bring it up. But it would be nice if they did have the option of taking either car, plus she wasn't too sure if it was even legal for the car seat to be in the front seat. She was pretty sure it wasn't.

She jetted slightly forward to plant a kiss on his lips. "Thank you," she whispered against his lips. Matt pulled back his head slightly to look down at her, giving her a slightly confused look an eyebrow cocked ever so much. He wasn't too sure how she was going to take the news but hadn't expected a kiss out of it. Matt could see the excitement shining in her brown eyes and he knew that he had won her over and they would be moving away from the dangerously expensive cribs. "Come on then," she ordered marching towards the car seats.

Even though Matt was aware that there were many different varieties of seats on the market, he wouldn't in a million years have believed that there were quite this many. May be he should have done some more reading.

"So you're looking for a car seat?" the voice from behind them drew them out of their stare at all of the options in front of them. Gabby turned and nodded slightly at the assistant a small smile on her face.

"I was thinking a good convertible car seat would be the way to go, don't you think Matt?" Gabby mentioned. Matt looked at her with shining eyes, not sure what to say. He gave both the sales girl and his wife a confused look. "Are they the ones you generally sell the most of?"

"Yes, technically you could just start out with a convertible car seat that accommodates infant sizes, but what do you do when your baby falls asleep in the car the second you park at your destination? Infant car seats are awesome because you can simply take them out of the car with baby still in it, and pop it into a stroller or take it into your home. And anything that doesn't wake a sleeping baby is gold in my book!" the sale assistant gushed to Matt pointing out different car seats.

Twenty minutes later, after listening to the lady point out the pros and cons of all of the different seats Gabby had become fed up. "Matt," complained Gabby sounding like she was almost whining. "I really just wanted to find a cot and rocking chair," she told him, a hand going to support the underside of her belly. This was becoming much too hard; she knew rationally that it wasn't the lady's fault. But she was becoming tired of standing for that amount of time. In her mind she would be able to sit in those comfy rocking chairs. There was a wingback rocker in a soft grey fabric that she could see out of the corner of her eye. She could just imagine relaxing into that chair and putting her feet up, if only for a few moments.

Matt hmmed in response, what was he going to do? He had to think of another way to get Gabby off of this furniture kick without somehow telling her what he was planning to do.

"Gabby - I think this is an easier decision. What do you think about the infant seat?" After hearing what the sales lady had to say and about what he already knew about them he was leaning towards one of those.

"Honestly - I was thinking about buying a convertible car seat because it saves money and lasts through toddlerhood, and it's completely sound in terms of safety," Gabby told him. She had been going back and forth about which car seat she wanted to buy. "Do you mind giving us some time to work this out?" she turned her attention back to the sale assistant.

"Certainly - if you do go with the infant seat system or you just want to check them out, the stroller and seats are in the stroller aisle rather than with the rest of the car seats. I'll be over there if you need anything else," she advised. "Oh…" she came back towards them as a thought came into her mind, "Once you think you have your car seat installed you will need to get it checked out by an expert. Your local fire department or police station should have a car-seat-safety expert, who can make sure everything's in place," she advised. Matt and Gabby gave each other a sideways look and started to laugh. The lady looked somewhat perturbed, she couldn't work out what be at all funny in that statement.

"Sorry," apologised Matt. "We're a first responders' family." Upon that comment the assistant gave him an appreciative look. Seeing the look on Gabby's face - she looked like she was ready to go all 'Gabby Dawson' on her. "My wife here," he grabbed her hand, "She's a firefighter. And my brother-in-law's a police officer. I think we're set here… Thank you," he quickly said. The sales assistant nodded quickly and headed off, muttering a quick apology in Gabby's direction.

Gabby led him over towards the rocking chairs. "I know that you've done your research Matt. What do you think?" She settled down into a comfy looking chair as she waited to hear what Matt had to say.

"And I know you have as well. It sounded like you wanted that convertible car seat…" He sat down in response on the footrest section of the chair, leaning over to grasp her hands in his.

"I just think it's a bit of money to be able to buy an infant seat and then to have to buy another seat in a few short months… By the way this chair is really comfortable."

Matt ignored the comment about the chair, filing the image of it away in his mind for later use. Rather he focused on the seat, "Babe, we've got the money. Between my lieutenant's pay and the slight pay rise that you had for when you became an instructor, we'll be fine. Not to mention when you take maternity leave it will still be at the PIC wage. If you want this, we can do it…" Matt watched as the wheels turned in her head. What he wasn't about to tell her was that by making their larger items they would be able to splurge somewhat on other items. Plus, he was seeing a lot of sale tickets up around the store. They could make this work; he was sure of it.

Gabby let the idea roll about her mind for a while, she sat further back in the chair letting her head fall back. She had decided over a week ago when Matt had been at work on the type of stroller that she wanted. As usual Gabby had done her research and read reviews, making her think hard about what she wanted and what was going to work well for their lives, not to mention what was going to be the best value for money too. Now that Matt was suggesting that it wouldn't be a stretch on them financially, it was making her rethink what it was she really wanted.

"It would be nice to have the ease of being able to transfer Smudge in and out of the car without waking him," she confessed with a tiny smile.

"Right," Matt smiled. "I knew you had done your research. Let's go have a look…" Matt offered her a hand up. "Maybe let's do one big purchase at a time?" he questioned, proud of himself for finding a way out of the cot. "Let's do the stroller and car seat today… And then the rest later?" Gabby simply nodded and allowed him to lead her over to the strollers.

She loved how quiet the store was, she had been dreading coming in on a weekend or after she finished work for the day. But with very few people in she was able to take her time and not worry about being jostled about. She took a step back as Matt read the tags and additional information about each of the different strollers that lined the aisles. She watched as he frowned and hmmed, pulling and pushing each display item as he walked by, finally pulling out the strollers that took his eye.

"Which ones did you like?"

Gabby smiled, yes she did have two in mind that she wanted to try out. The reviews were good, but she wanted to try them out for real first. "There's the Britax B-Agile Travel System and the Baby Trend Expedition Jogger that I think I liked the look of…" she trailed off as Matt found the two she was looking at.

"I found this Chicco Cortina too," announced Matt as he brought all three strollers over for Gabby to look at. "You have a play around here; I'm going to see if I can find the car seat parts for these…" he wandered off.

Over the next half an hour or so Gabby and Matt played around trying out the different items they had found. They put the strollers up and collapsed them, they put the car seats onto the stroller part and even wheeled them around with the supplied weights in them. Matt even managed to hold his tongue as he watched Gabby lug a closed stroller around and try and lift it off the ground. He knew that she would be the one to use it the most and would have to be able to lift it into the car with ease, but he would have preferred if she wasn't doing it at this stage of her pregnancy.

The Chicco had been the first to be eliminated when they both found it harder to go around corners with the four wheels. Knowing Chicago's terrain and the walks that they would hopefully be going on, something with easier handling would be good.

"So?" questioned Gabby. Her legs were getting tired and she was ready for a decision to be made and then finding something to drink. She fished about in her handbag whilst waiting for an answer, however she came up empty handed as she remembered that she had left her water bottle on the kitchen table.

"I like the Britax," confessed Matt, "That click and go system is so easy to use, so easy that even when we're the most sleep deprived we could still do it. I guess that transferring the seat will be easy. And I was thinking, this means that I can get a base to go in my truck and we don't need another seat for Smudge in my vehicle…"

"True, I hadn't thought about that. I like it too, it's easy to fold up and I can do it with one hand. Let's get it," she decided brushing the hair out of her face as she nodded along with her words. Matt was impressed that even she could fold it up one handed with ease whilst six months pregnant.

"Red one?" Matt asked with a cheeky grin on his face.

Gabby sighed audibly, "Yes, the fire truck red _one…_ You get that and I'm just going to pick up a few articles of clothing that I saw on the way in. I'll meet you by the cash registers?" Matt nodded and watched her walk away towards the front of the store.

It didn't take much time for Matt to get the assistant and collect what they were after, ready to pay for the items waiting for Gabby to turn up. He had a good fifteen minute wait for Gabby to turn up with more than just a few items.

"You call that a few items?" he asked incredulously. "Is there anything left in the store?" he teased.

Gabby swiped at his arms playfully, "There is a new year sale on, so I've gotten bigger sizes and then just some plain newborn clothes. And…" she started excitedly. "There was this," she held up a large box. "This is supposedly one of the best baby monitors on the market according to Donna and Natalie and it's on sale. It's 50% off Matt… We need to get it. It's got all of these features. It's got a camera and sound, it's Wi-Fi and an inbuilt thermometer…" she rambled on, keen to impress on Matt why this was such a good buy.

Matt leant over his boxes pressing a kiss to her lips effectively shutting her up. "Let's get it," he wisely told her.

* * *

Gabby rubbed her temples trying to soothe the headache that she had developed over the past half an hour or so, she certainly needed a drink of water. Matt was putting all of the items she had managed to convince him to buy into the back of her car. She took a deep breath as she leant against the side of the bonnet, leaving a hand on her belly. Closing her eyes, she rubbed circles in the spot that Smudge had just kicked her. "Hey Smudge, give Mamá a break. I'm hot and I'm really tired," she whispered looking down.

"Hey…" Matt came up, placing his hands on the car, resting them on either side of her. He slowly leant forward, trapping her between his body and the car before placing a gentle kiss on her lips. "This used to be much easier," he teased.

"You Matthew Casey," she accused playfully, wriggling a finger in his face. "You… you're tripping." She moved her body around slightly trying to figure a way out the current trapping she found herself in. Matt watched her eyes dart around before bring one hand to rest lightly on her hip.

His own eyes too darted around to see if there were any people around before bring his other hand to the back of her neck and pulling her closer. Leaning his forehead against hers, Matt paused for a moment. Gabby shivered slightly at the warm breath of his that she felt around her cheek, licking her lips in anticipation. However, Matt was insistent on making her wait, enjoying having her in his arms. Gabby finally grew impatient of waiting and pushed herself up onto her toes and captured his lips. Matt grinned against them and deepened the kiss slightly.

"Let's get you home and out of this cold weather," he told her after breaking apart, watching as Gabby placed a hand on her chest trying to catch her breath. Ever the gentleman, he held the door open for her and made sure she was in comfortably before he made his way around the back of the car. Sliding his cell out of his back pocket he fired off a text to Kelly and Antonio making plans to get started on the nursery furniture. Matt didn't know how long he was going to be able to hold Gabby off for.

* * *

"Babe?" Gabby called out from her spot on the floor downstairs. Pausing for a few moments as Matt made his way downstairs, he found that she had a few baby books and bits of paper scattered around her. Gabby herself was flicking a pen around in her hand, whilst wriggling her legs on the floor. Matt couldn't work out how she had managed to even get down to the ground, it was only last week that she had mentioned that her bump was getting to the size where physical things were starting to becoming a chore. She had mentioned that she couldn't even get down onto the floor with her candidates constantly either. However, he suspected that that was more to do with having to bend down to each candidate and then back up before going to the next person and repeating the cycle – the up down, up down cycle would be murder on her back.

"Do you ever think our house is slightly too big?" Matt questioned as he drew near to her. "What have you got there?" he continued as he placed his mug on the coffee table. Taking in the sight before him, he wondered what it was she was trying to achieve down here. He didn't think that he would be able to move across the room without stepping on at least one sheet of paper.

"Do you need a hand to get off the floor?" He held out a hand for her. She gave him a withering look, staring at his hand.

"Don't condescend to me," Gabby grumbled as she tried to shuffle herself towards the chair closest to her. It wasn't so much that she couldn't sit on the floor; it was more that she was feeling tired. But she wasn't about to tell Matt that. She was going to get up off the floor by herself, even if it took her twice as long as it normally would have. Over the last week she had noticed that she was struggling to bend over with ease, she missed that. To be honest she had dropped her pen and because it had taken so long to get down she decided to just stay down there, but she wasn't going to be telling Matt that.

Matt tried his hardest not to smirk as he watched her attempt to pull her feet underneath herself, trying desperately to find a way to boost herself up. For over five minutes she squirmed, it shouldn't have been this hard. If at 26 weeks it was a struggle, what was she going to do at 36 weeks?

"Come on babe," Matt offered his hand again, "You probably haven't had enough sleep. I heard you tossing and turning all night." He was right, she had been in a pattern of sleeping for 3 hour spurts - she was closing her eyes, sleeping for a bit, waking up and needing to pee and back to bed, then the cycle started again. This was seemingly her life now, although Clara did mention that it might let up for a few short weeks.

Gabby gave him a look as she finally huffed and held out her hand for some extra help up, this hadn't been this hard ever before. Shoving a pillow or two behind her, Gabby wriggled until she was comfortable in her spot. "Why don't we have this couch upstairs?"

Matt shrugged, knowing better than to even attempt to answer that minefield of a question. "So what's with all the paper?" he asked, bending over with ease to gather the loose sheets all the while Gabby shooting him a murderous look at his freedom. Gabby held out her hand for them, making a few more marks before motioning for Matt to join her on the couch.

"I was thinking that we could nail down some names for Smudge here," Gabby told him her fingers tapping the edge of her belly. She was wondering how she could bring up the fact that she was hoping to give their child a Spanish name just as Antonio had done.

"Was there something special that you were thinking of?" Matt inquired thinking rightly that there was something playing on her mind.

"Did you ever have a family tradition, like a family name that is passed down. Or just names that you connect with your family? Why are you named Matt?" she questioned. Matt shrugged, he had never thought to even ask. But it led him to his next point.

"So you would like something Spanish then?" Matt questioned. Gabby gave him a wide eyed look; how did he even get to that point – knowing exactly what she was thinking? One where he was pretty much reading her mind? If he was honest he didn't mind what name their little miracle had. He had always personally thought that Gabby would probably be right down the middle when it came to tradition. She would likely want to keep her culture and tradition but she would also want to make sure there's definitely room for being unique and one of a kind. The Dawsons were a very traditional family, and even though they lived in the US now, Matt could see tradition in all of the family members.

Gabby nodded slightly. She hadn't been too sure how Matt would react to that particular idea. It had always been her dream to pass on her culture, the one that she and Antonio had grown up with. The same one that he had shared with both Eva and Diego. And to some people it might only be a name, but it to her, it was important for their child to have something to connect them back to her culture.

"What do you have in mind?" he questioned

"It's common for many Spanish or really Hispanics to have two given names, plus a paternal surname and a maternal surname," Gabby informed him. Matt's eyes widened slightly, it seemed to him that every day he seemed to learn something new about her Spanish culture. "Mamá and Papá just decided with Antonio that they would give us three names with a surname instead. It isn't that traditional or the norm in all Spanish families, but it's something that our family has done…"

"So that means?" Matt's mind was racing, how many names was his child going to have - and how many names was he going to have to shout out when telling him off? Either way it was going to be a mouthful.

"It would have meant that my name would have been Gabriela Leonora Dawson Reyes. Mamá had one of the most common surnames in the Dominican…"

"But why?" Matt questioned, in his mind the elder Dawsons were fairly traditional and a tradition that had lasted centuries didn't seem to be one that they would change lightly.

"Coming to the United States had a large impact on them, I think," replied Gabby. "The Hispanic preference for using the _first_ surname from the father over the second surname from the mother occasionally results in serious legal problems in English-speaking countries. Just because laws operate on the assumption that each person has a first name, middle name, and last name, where the last name is normally inherited solely from the father and is assumed to be the _only_ surname… It's not as big a deal as it used to be. Many years ago when they were married, it caused much confusion. So to help stop that confusion, Antonio and I only have our father's surname. Even Mamá changed her name, that's was definitely going against tradition. She didn't do that when they first got married, but it's much easier here in the States. She had problems getting a passport because they didn't understand how Spanish names worked." Gabby laughed, "I know she's had to defend my choice to take on your name and drop my own…"

"Gabby, you know that I would have understood if you wanted to keep Dawson. Hell, you use it at work."

"I did that because it would be too difficult to separate two Caseys at the same firehouse…" she defended her choice. "And," she ducked her head slightly, "it is going to be really nice that all of us are going to have the same last name," she gave him a small smile.

Matt took her hand, rubbing a thumb over it and playing with her rings. He never knew what her response was going to be these days. Gabby might have a seemingly never ending supply of energy, which had been a nice touch during her second trimester, but Matt had started to noticed that she was being more emotional recently, there were tears in her eyes where once there wouldn't have been. But Matt was pleased that she was comfortable showing this to him - to think a few years ago she would have simply shut down and pushed down everything she was feeling. Now, whether it be that she couldn't control her hormones or whether it was she was just embracing them - Matt saw it as progress. Gabby brushed the tears off, running a finger under her eyes.

"You know I meant nothing by it. I'd love you no matter what your name is. But Baby I'm glad that we're all sharing my name… Come here," he beckoned. Gabby turned and wedged herself between Matt's legs. He dropped a few light kisses on the crown on her head before pulling his phone out from his pocket.

"So," he started after scrolling for a few minutes. "The most popular names at the moment include Olivia, Ava, Mia and Isabella. And if Smudge is a boy… Jackson, Aiden, Lucas and Noah…. Oh what about Sophia? That's a Spanish name isn't it?"

"I don't want anything too common… So nothing like Sofia," she warned. "And the rest of those were the most popular American names Babe."

"Gabs…" Matt groaned slightly, "You have one of the most common Spanish names out there… You and Antonio… Even I've got a common name." Matt didn't know much, but he knew that.

"All the more reason to pick something special for our child. Think about it, you just confirmed that we both have common names. Let's give Smudge something slightly different… I'm not saying that we should choose something such as Addis…"

"Addis?" taunted Matt, laughter evident in his words. Gabby rolled her eyes.

"But rather something special to us…" she finished ignoring his comment.

Matt smiled and leant over to kiss her soundlessly. "Okay, so how are we doing this? Just looking through some websites and those books?" he questioned looking at the books spread around the floor.

"I suppose so… I have one more request, with the three names… I know it's a lot, but I just want to keep the family tradition alive. And if we have a girl, I want her middle name to be Leonora, it's my middle name and Mamá's too."

"And for a boy?"

"Diego is the family name," confirmed Gabby. "Antonio went a bit beyond it to have it as his first name. But Eva and Diego don't have the three names like we do, Laura wouldn't hear of it," she screwed up her nose at the thought quietly.

He nodded as he swiped his phone to unlock it again. "Got it, so we need to find three names and Casey or Casey-Dawson? Or will it be Dawson-Casey? Do I get to go first since I'm the man? Or if it's a girl do we switch the order... Can you imagine hyphenating the double-barrelled name? ... I mean, either way lucky kid when it comes to learning their name and then coming to write it," he teased only just managing to get out his words for the laughter, earning him a poke in the side.

"Just Casey Babe," Gabby told him as she snuggled into his side, flicking open a book. "I took it when I married you and I want our kids to have it too." Matt smiled as he dropped a kiss on the crown of her head.

"Hey what about Hannah? It's a palindrome, those are cool right?"

"Really? Matt… we can't have a palindrome for a name. I just don't like the sound of it," Gabby grumbled. "I mean people are so proud of their palindrome names… And I don't get it."

"Fine… I'll keep looking!"

A short while later they both had a short list of girls and boys names. But nothing had stood out to them enough to say yes that's exactly what they wanted, at least on the girls side.

"What about Marcos?" piped up Gabby as she let a pen drop from her hands.

"Marcos?" Matt repeated. "Marcos Casey… Marcos Diego Casey…" he let the name roll off his tongue, trying it out. "I like that. It works quite nicely Gabs," he complimented. "That might be the one…What do you think Smudge?" Matt leant down towards Gabby's belly, "Do you like the name Marcos?" Matt waited until he felt movement under his hand, Gabby laughing at the sight she was witnessing. "Now just for a girl's name."

But nothing was clicking enough with the surname Casey. Matt left a hand resting on Gabby's belly feeling what was now becoming a familiar fidget. Enjoying the feeling Matt let his eyes fall shut and leant his head against the couch.

"Gabs…" he spoke up after a sudden thought. "What about Antonia?" he questioned. Gabby moved to look him in the face, confusion evident in her eyes. "I know how close you are to your brother. Antonio has been there for us through thick and thin… Even when I maybe haven't deserved it, but he still gave me support. And it would be nice to have another family name if we have a girl."

Gabby twisted in her spot and gave him a searingly hot kiss. Running her tongue along his lips, she begged for entry which was willingly given. She didn't have the words for how grateful and appreciative she was to Matt for this suggestion. Matt pulled her deeper for the kiss, tangling a hand into her hair.

"Thank you," she spoke quietly, her chest heaving once she finally pulled away. "That is perfect Matthew… Perfect," she finished before leaning in for another kiss.

* * *

"Woozers," spoke up Otis as Casey and Dawson walked through the door into Molly's, his eyes glued to the quite prominent baby bump that Gabby was sporting. Gabby looked very self conscience and smoothed her long top over her bulging belly. "That is a bump!"

Matt glared at him whilst Herrmann leant over the bar to slap him up the backside of the head.

"You can't say those things…" Herrmann warned. Gabby shook her head walking past her ex-workmates and fellow Molly's owners. She hadn't thought that it had been that long since she had seen her friends. But evidently by that tactless comment she was obviously growing rapidly. Although Otis wouldn't be Otis without those types of comments. It was a surprise to everyone that it wasn't Severide.

"Don't listen to him Mamá," shouted out Cruz, "You looking stunning," he complimented.

"Gabby!" called out Stella from a back table. Gabby turned to catch Matt's gaze. He nodded towards their friends, motioning that he was going to go to the bar and get them something to drink.

Reaching her friends, she found a rather crowded table with Stella and Kelly sitting down, along with Sylvie, Will and Natalie. Even Cruz had pulled up a stool arriving at the table just before she had. They had pulled over a number of extra stools around the table.

"Kelly," Stella prodded her boyfriend. "Get up!"

"Huh?" Kelly drowned what was remaining of his beer.

"Up, up, up." urged Stella. Kelly shook his head as he stood, moving so that Gabby could sit.

"Mrs Casey - your seat," he exaggerated. Laughing along with him, Gabby took a seat, shifting her hips as she settled down as well as she could on the stool. Will and Natalie's eagle eyes watched as one of Gabby's hands went to her belly and the other to the side of her rib cage, all seemingly unconsciously as she started a conversation with the people around her.

Matt gave a soft smile as he placed her soda down. He shook his head at Will's offer of a seat, rather preferring to stand next to Gabby slinging his arm around her shoulders.

"Sylvie Brett," Gabby started not long after fishing for her phone. "What was this message about?" she accused looking for a message, flicking rapidly. Stella reached over to grab the phone from Gabby once it was outstretched. Upon reading the title of the article shown she burst into gales of laughter.

"What?" Sylvie defended herself. "I was browsing and came across it…."

"What were you browsing to even find something like that Brett?" Cruz questioned once he had noticed what was being passed around.

"Looking for baby presents for Baby Casey… And then I thought Gabby might like to see that…"

"It's not a bad idea," mused Natalie. "It would have been nice to know at least 30 things you need to do before you have a baby," she claimed as she scrolled through the article.

"Although, I'm not so sure about this one that tells you go and jump on a trampoline," observed Will reading over her shoulder. Laughter echoed around the table as Gabby tapped Matt on the side of his leg, pushing applying some pressure to persuade him to stand directly behind her.

He got the hint and as soon as he was in place, she leant back into him trying to stretch out her back. "You okay?" Matt questioned quietly as possible.

Gabby nodded and moaned slightly. "Smudge's feet are pushing up under my ribs," she complained lightly.

Natalie and Will shared a knowing look, Natalie's memories of these uncomfortable feelings still quite fresh. "Gabby, if you can manage, try standing for a bit," she advised. "Everything is expanding and sitting down can make all that pain you're feeling worse since being seated compresses your internal organs. It may also make baby move into a new position too," she offered.

Grumbling slightly, Gabby stood up rolling her hips slightly with the hope of getting Smudge to move. Matt looked over her head and mouthed a quick 'thank you' to the two doctors. Once settled into a new position of Matt sitting and Gabby leaning into his chest the conversation started again.

"What's this I see about greeting your partner at the end of a long day with a big kiss and a hug and giving him your undivided attention?" Matt asked tongue in cheek.

"Doesn't she do that every day anyway?" Kelly joked back. "I'm sure I witnessed many stolen kisses in that lieutenant's office."

"So…." drawled out Stella noticing the redness that had started to creep up Gabby's face. "What was it specifically that made you send it Sylvie?"

"Oh…" she wriggled her fingers holding her hand out for the phone. "This one," she announced, "wear all your dangly earrings… We all know how much Gabby likes her earrings."

Gabby gave a wide grin as she lifted her hands to ears pretending to model her current dangly earrings. Matt shook his head ruefully as the conversation moved towards a different topic.

* * *

"Did you know that we're down into double digits finally?" Gabby questioned as Matt slipped his arms around her waist, pulling her close in an attempt to shield her from the cold as they slowly made their way to his truck. He leant down a touch lower than he normally would have to press a kiss to the top of her head.

"Huh?"

"We've got 93 days left until we meet Smudge," Gabby informed him snuggling her head into the side of Matt's chest.

"93 days…" mused Matt, slowing his walk down to a pace that he knew Gabby would be able to keep up with for an extended period of time. "Wow," he breathed, "it seems so far away… but at the same time it's going to fly by. I'm sure that Smudge will be here before we can blink." Pushing her gently up against his truck, he leant down to kiss her on the cheek. Brushing away her hair from her ears, he gently nipped at her earlobe, "I can't wait to meet our little guy," he whispered.

Gabby laughed at the tickling breath against her skin. Pushing his shoulder away slightly, she laughed again. "What do you mean to meet our little _guy_?" she chuckled.

"I mean…" he emphasised, placing both of his large warm hands on either side of her belly. "In what seems likely to be a very short time we are going to be welcoming our little Smudge into our family," he spoke. Bending down he rested his cheek against her tummy and whispered, "And Daddy is willing to bet that you can't wait to meet us either, hey champ?" Smiling at the thump he caught in the face, "And you're going to be one hell of a firefighter too!"

 _~ Her eyebrows and eyelashes are well-defined; plus, she has more hair on her head this week ~_

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed this instalment. Please let me know what you think.**


	25. Week 27 - EMS Dawson-Casey?

**Don't you just love when you have technical difficulties with your computer and then you completely forget to send your chapter to be edited. Huge hugs to R for getting this back to me in a crazy short amount of time ~ new record, it was under 50 minutes. Different time zones can be a pain.**

 **Big shout out to Jewel – thank you the awesome long review letting me know what your favourite scene was, and yes I think Matt does need to get a hurry up on that furniture. And to both you and AshleyDawsey51 for saying that Antonia was a good choice for a name, I'll admit that I went back and forth on that a bit. And also to Rebecca who has been so good going over names with me – she has been doing that since July, especially since I kept changing my mind. I found it quite hard to find names that didn't remind me of any students but would still be names that were right for Matt and Gabby.**

* * *

 _Week Twenty Seven_

 _~ Candidate is now the size of a cauliflower ~_

"Babe?" Gabby hollered from the study door where she had been shuffling through her papers looking for the notes that she had been making on the lecture that she had to give today. Whilst she had generally been enjoying her time at the academy, the topic of today's lecture was something new and something that she knew she was going to have a few complaints with… Or maybe the candidates would be receptive and give that feedback to the senior lecturers. The Chicago Fire Department was a fairly good company to work for, and whilst they had their problems Gabby had seen them attempt to address some of the bigger problems head on over the years.

And today was one of those attempts. Gabby had spent a good part of the last two weeks at 51 working with her old company on some of her presentation for the day. But there was a fair amount of worry clouding her mind if she was honest. She had become very comfortable with teaching her own candidates, however teaching the entire class was another matter. She knew that some of the other instructors were still old school in their ideas of wanting to segregate the paramedics and firefighters. And it wouldn't have surprised her if these ideas had been passed onto their students. Not to mention Gabby had noticed the ways that some of the younger candidates were strutting around the academy. Not to broad brush all the young recruits, but there was definitely an air of superiority surrounding some people. And it was an air that had surprised her - it wasn't one that she had ever noticed during her previous time at the academy, however it had been brought up during a instructor's meeting that they had found that the average age of the recruits had taken a nosedive. Not that she was old… And she didn't want to be stereotyping, but something wasn't sitting quite right with her today.

When she had mentioned this little fact to the house she had received varying reactions. It was a fact that she needed to remember, that not every house was as welcoming as Firehouse 51. Yes, the boys club on Truck 81 had been a little reserved about having females on their rig, but three female members later it wasn't an issue anymore.

Matt leaned up against the doorframe peering into to the office silently watching as Gabby moved around the desk with ease. If he was being honest, he was concerned about what she was going to have to do today. There were a few things that were niggling in the back of his mind in regard to both the content that she was presenting today and how Gabby was travelling with her pregnancy.

After the night at the house last week Matt had become increasingly concerned about how well she was sleeping at night. He had had a conversation with Antonio just two days ago about the fact that Gabby had experienced a slight dizzy spell when the siblings had been at dinner without him. She had chalked it up to lack of sleep and stress about today's class, yet she hadn't bothered telling him about it. Antonio had convinced him to let it be, that she would come to him when she was ready - and that it was actually quite normal. Matt had taken upon himself to flick through his own baby book to find that yes it was quite normal, but just in case he was going to be keeping an extra close eye on her.

Hearing Gabby gasp, Matt was pulled from his own thoughts. Gabby let another small whimper escaped her lips as she felt a painful cramp in her calves. The pain had shocked her out of her working state, this had never happened to her during the day. She had been woken up a few times during the night by them. Taking a seat she started gently flexing her right foot in an attempt ease the cramps. Gabby closed her eyes as the muscles continued to spasm painfully.

"Babe," Matt approached her kneeling down to place his hands on her calf. Carefully, gently he started to massage the muscles beneath his hands paying more attention to the areas that felt tighter to him. Cautiously he started to question her, "Baby… Are you sure about today? Couldn't someone be there with you?"

"And do what? Make it seem like I can't handle a class on my own?" came her sarcastic reply. "Matt, you can't protect me from everything. This is my job. I don't ask for another lieutenant to shadow you in the big fires."

"I'm just concerned that it's going to be a long day. A day that you're going to be on your feet for a long time. Babe I know that's not good for you…" he gently tried.

"I'm okay Matt," she placated. "I promise that I've got my stool and being by myself means I can dictate the breaks that I want to take…. Plus," she motioned towards her feet, "I've got my new shoes to help me out."

"I'm just concerned about how this is all going to go…" Matt trailed off slightly, running a hand over his face worried about what could go down today.

"And what are we supposed to do? Just not even bother? I'm commending the department for doing this… We need to start somewhere with the gap between paramedics and firefighters and I'm the right instructor to start the dialogue Babe."

Matt stared at her for another beat before moving up to cup her face with his hand. "You're amazing…" he spoke before crushing his lips to hers.

"You're pretty good yourself Mr Casey. Now off you go," Gabby mock ordered as she stood to gather the last of her bits. "Otherwise you're going to be late for work!"

* * *

Dawson watched as the last few of her students filed into the lecture theatre that she was using today. She was trying to stay off her feet for as long as possible today. Many of her lectures that she gave with the EMT candidates was done whilst sitting down or at least leaning up against her desk. Whilst it wasn't the best look for a CFD instructor, it was what Dawson was having to do since she had entered her third trimester.

Scanning over the faces that sat before her, she noticed a few familiar faces. All of her EMT students had shown up as she had requested, today's seminar being just as much for them at the fire candidates. She had made it sound like a request whereas in reality it was mandatory that all the candidates arrived. Taking a deep breath, she looked over her notes one final time before pushing herself back and up from the chair. Clapping her hands together she waited for the noise level to lower before she started.

"Good morning candidates, welcome to bridging the culture. I'm Instructor Dawson," she smiled meeting the returning smiles of her EMT candidates. Looking around she also found herself faced with some more confused faces. "This is a new seminar that the CFD has decided to run with new candidates this class. Today we have decided to integrate both the fire and EMT candidates together, giving you all a chance to get to know each other and learn about the others job. With that in mind, I want you to mingle, right now. Get up, introduce yourself to some that you don't know and actually sit next to someone else that you don't know."

Gabby smiled as she watched the younger candidates were some of the fastest to move, evidently happy just to get up and socialise. Others, however, were still sitting down, not willing to move. "Hustle candidates, participation is not optional," she ordered. "I am not above sending you all out on a run."

"Would you be joining us Instructor?" a young blonde male to Dawson's left hand side commented disparagingly. "Could you even?" he mumbled, Dawson missing the second part of his comment.

Dawson gave him a withering look, "Candidate Richmond unless you wish to be cleaning the showers for the rest of the semester, I suggest that you keep all comments to yourself." Richmond's smile disappeared, surprised that she even knew his name. Pity that she could see his name on the paperwork in front of him.

A mere ten minutes later, all of the candidates seemed to have made connections with more people and Dawson happily noted that none of the paramedics were sitting together. Slowly the students had managed to sit themselves back down and the noise level was quieting all by itself, much to Dawson's surprise.

"As I was saying this is a brand new seminar to the CFD Academy - one that is looking at the two cultures that exists with the department -"

Dawson was cut off by the loud arrival of a late fire candidate, she looked up along with the rest of the class at the young red-haired female who came strutting down the stairs. Staring hard at her for a moment, Dawson suddenly realised that this was the same girl that Severide had pointed out at the seminar all those months ago, the hair finger twirling one. She settled herself down next the mouthy blonde guy from earlier. There and then Dawson knew this wasn't a good mix, as she raised her eyebrows questioningly at her.

"Sorry," she said, not sounding sorry at all. "Continue…"

"Excuse me?" Dawson was taken back. This was not the attitude that she expected from any candidate, especially a young one.

"Sorry Dawson…" she drawled. Dawson felt her angry begin to bubble. "Soz PIC Dawson…"

"Candidate?" Dawson waited to be supplied with a name

"Kerri-Anne Moore," she supplied picking at her long fingernails.

"Well then Candidate Moore, do you think that was an appropriate way to enter a class, especially when you are late?" she questioned. The young girl looked bored, rolled her eyes at the guy to her left and slightly shrugged her shoulder. "Well then… You think about it and you can see me after the seminar is over." Dawson felt like a high school teacher, never had she reprimanded a student at her time at the Academy, nor had she ever expected to. She had worked for CFD for quite a few years before she had herself joined the academy and still she would have never have spoken to any of her instructors like that. Hell, she wouldn't have spoken to Severide like that in class and they were close friends. They were taught to respect the white shirt.

"Moving on," Dawson continued her voice becoming louder as she addressed the entire class. "Over the past few years the Chicago Fire Department has completed a number of comprehensive reviews into it's own department. One of the issues that has been uncovered is this idea that two cultures exist within the department. It's also something that we feel can be address at an Academy level. It's been found that the paramedics are not always integrated with the firefighters in one department. EMS continually plays 'second fiddle' to Fire Suppression and Rescue. This is occurring even though three-quarters of calls to the CFD are EMS related. This then leads to what we see as unnecessary friction and station house problems. We have also found that too few firefighters are cross-trained as EMTs; even though cross-training is the norm in the modern US fire departments today…"

Dawson paused to take in those around her. She could pick out her students, those who were nodding along with her. Only earlier in the week they had engaged in an open discussion about this very topic. "So my background - Most of you would have met me, along with my colleagues from Firehouse 51, at your orientation day. I was the paramedic-in-charge of Ambo 61 for many years, until this semester when I was offered an instructor's position here. And with that experience it was decided that I would be the one to hold this seminar…"

"Why? Cause she's a female and a medic?" Moore mumbled under her breath. "She knows nothing about firefighting…"

"Moore - anything you want to share with the class? No I thought not," Gabby questioned not even allowing her to respond, simply cutting her off. Dawson knew that this was going to be a long day, most of it quite cut and dry. "There's never been a point where anyone has been able to pinpoint down why there is a cultural gap. However, when there is a culture gap that exists in a house, it is characterised by the dominance of traditional firefighting over EMS, despite the fact that the EMS workload in these departments far outpaces that of firefighting. Many paramedics are made to feel like second-class employees. The dominance is perceived to affect decision-making processes, budgets, incident command authority, firehouse life, and pay levels… Do you think that is right?" Gabby questioned. "Discuss," she prompted.

A low rumbling of conversation started as Dawson walked around the room, listening to the conversations that were happening around her. If she had walked into this class she knew that she would have been able to pick the EMT students over the Fire students. There still was a stigma that even existed within the academy. One that wasn't going to change if the next generation of Chicago Fire Departmental personnel didn't themselves understand and accept all of its members.

"Some EMS personnel have an excellent day-to-day rapport with the Fire Suppression and Rescue personnel with whom they work. However, it is almost always the EMS provider who must seek the approval of the Fire Suppression and Rescue member, rarely the reverse. The firehouse pecking order affords the firefighters' views greater weight. For example, standard practice in the CFD is to recognize the arrival of field officers in a station by sounding the station bell and having all personnel get into roll call formation in the engine room to greet the officer. Such courtesies are rarely extended to ambulance field officers," Dawson grumbled as the words came tumbling out of her mouth.

As first and foremost a paramedic and this situation had always annoyed her. In her eyes it didn't matter if they were from the firefighting arm or the EMS arm each of the field officers still put on their pants one leg at a time. It was frustrating.

"But why is that Instructor?" a voice from the back questioned. Dawson simply shrugged.

"No one has ever been able to explain that to us. Why do you think it might about be occurring?"

A murmur went around the hall. Dawson paused for a short while letting small conversations break out around her. Straining her ears, she listened to snippets of the conversations, many of which supported how firefighters deserved more. Yet no one was able to really support that view.

"Discuss," Dawson called out for the classes' attention. "Discuss what we could do to change this? And why should we be doing something different - five minutes."

"Instructor," a candidate called out after the time had expired. "If this is how firehouses already operate, why is it up to us to change how things are run?" he questioned. Gabby looked around to see a few candidates nodding along with this sentiment.

"Stand up if you are a female and move to the side of the room…" Dawson ordered. "Now look around - is it okay that I've made the class smaller just because of gender?" Most of the class shook their heads. "It's the same for this two culture issue that exists."

"So Instructor Dawson, is there a place that it does work? And can firefighters and EMTs work together?" came the question from one of the EMT candidates.

"While I'm not saying that 51 was or even is a perfect house, what makes them work is that they are a family. Chief Boden runs it like a family. You'll find during your career that many chiefs tout that they run their house like a family, but let me tell you that 51 is like a family and will look out for each other and support them… We've had our ups and downs and I'm sure they will continue to do so. But it doesn't make a difference whether you're a member of squad, truck, engine or ambulance, you are treated like an equal member of Firehouse 51. And I can assure you that it makes for a much nicer work environment when people can get on harmoniously. As a PIC I was able to discuss my needs at an incident with the other officers from the house without being worried that I wasn't been taken seriously."

"What else makes the situation worse?" Dawson was proud of her candidates, they were asking the hard questions and hopefully making the future firefighters think about how they would act in when they were on the job.

"EMS officers are not granted operational control of EMS units, even at purely EMS-related incidents. A veteran Ambulance Field Officer who could have many years experience must defer to an acting Fire lieutenant who might have only had a few years experience. When implementing the EMS plan for multiple-casualty incidents, an EMS officer on the scene must request additional or specialised resources of the department through the Fire person on the scene. An argument can be made that an incident commander needs to authorise all such requests, but many other EMS systems have made it standard practice to incorporate mechanisms to empower EMS officers or make them incident commanders on EMS-related incidents."

"But ma'am even if the argument is that an incident commander needs to be in charge of everything, what happens if he or she isn't aware of the intricacies of the medical situation at the scene? Wouldn't it be better to be liaising with an officer who knows better?" a EMS candidate questioned.

"But wouldn't that mean the things could be overlooked or double handled?" another fire candidate argued back. "Wouldn't it be better that there is only one person handling everything?"

"There isn't one easy answer," Dawson responded. "That is one of the purpose of this seminar - we want you to be aware of this situation, one that you may very will be stepping into as a candidate. You need to understand how this culture may affect you, and whether you become a firefighter or EMT you will likely be stepping into this. We also wanted to see what fresh ideas you might come up with."

An older firefighter candidate raised his hand from the back of the room, "If there is such a divide… Why have them in the same department sharing such close quarters?"

This caused a slight stir within the room, "But keeping them together makes sense," another person called out. Dawson smiled, she finally felt like there was actually a dialogue happening in the room. One that was proving to be fruitful, as she had mentioned to the rest of the house she wasn't sure that there was ever going to be an easy answer.

"If there was an answer, don't you think they would have figured it out already?" pondered another. "But what separates the two branches? Day to day in fire house - can you pick a firefighter?"

"It's a purely physical thing," explained Dawson. "EMT paramedics wear a CFD shoulder patch on the bottom of which is a rocker with the word "paramedic." Fire Suppression and Rescue paramedics do not wear such a rocker. Paramedics who take firefighting training to switch to the Fire Suppression and Rescue must remove their old patches and substitute them with patches that lack the "paramedic" rocker panel… This obviously makes the divide even bigger."

"Instructor... I read that in other cities, an effort is made to do just the opposite – modify the uniform of specially trained personnel, so that they can be easily identified at the scene of an emergency. This is done for the same reason that officers wear identifying insignia and color-coded helmets and uniforms. Why can't we do something like that?"

"Why should we?" came a shrill voice. "I've seen what those EMT candidates go through in training, it's nothing compared to what we do," Moore's voice rang out loud and clear.

"Up candidate," ordered Dawson her blood beginning to boil. This candidate had already gotten onto her fraying nerves, but her to be calling out paramedics when she had never been out on the job. She watched on intently as the young girl flicked her hair and stood up haughtily "What makes you so confident about EMTs' jobs?"

"What?" she lazily questioned, "We are _real_ candidates… we train our asses off. Go running for miles and run drills!" The young male candidates around her laughed softly and nodded along.

"What…" Flynn, one of the older EMS candidates piped up, "So that makes you better than us? You're not doing anything to help this two culture that Instructor Dawson is talking about. We're all working for the same department and we should be working together to make this a better work environment."

"But we're not the same…" Moore continued to complain. "And what would she know about it," she went on pointing at Dawson. "She's a PIC, a paramedic… And she's the one that thinks she can tell us about how to work as a department. That we should be working together. Paramedics - what do they know about putting their lives on the line…"

"So you don't think we as paramedics will put our lives on the line?" Flynn fired back.

"No… Not in the same way," Richmond joined it. Of course, he would be siding with this young lady.

"I mean, what type of PIC would have gone crawling through smoke, fire all around them to save a person?" Moore stated. "Bet you Dawson never has…"

"ENOUGH!" bellowed Dawson, shocking both the class and Smudge. Smudge who evidently had been lulled to sleep as Dawson had been walking around the room had been startled awake and started kicking. Dawson fought hard not to put her hands on her belly, rather wanting to stay focused on her class and showing no signs of weakness. "So here's the thing Candidate, you've heard everything that has been said today and you've made your feelings on situation quite clear. I can guarantee to you that many paramedics have had to enter buildings to save lives. Now you can wait for me outside my office until this seminar is done… You will no longer take part in my class for this session… Leave," ordered Dawson as she pointed at the door. Casting one final look at Dawson, Moore stormed out of the classroom. Dawson raised her voice, "Don't slam my door!" Taking a deep breath, she turned back to the class, "Let's take our break now and during that time, have a think about what we could do about this cultural gap. You as candidates are the future of the CFD. I want to hear what you think we could do…"

A few of the EMS candidates shot Dawson a look as they made their way out of the lecturer theatre. Dawson drew in a deep breath and decided that she needed get off of her feet. Leaving a hand resting on her belly, Dawson pondered what it was she was going to do. She was sure that Moore wasn't standing outside her office sweating it out, she was probably just standing there looking bored. So Dawson wasn't in any rush to get there. Reaching down into her bag that she used for work she found that her drink bottle was empty. Huffing to herself she resigned herself to the fact that she was going to have to trudge back to the office and get her larger drink bottle.

Passing Moore, who as predicted was standing by her door picking at her nails, Dawson said nothing. And only closed the door in the candidate's face. Standing by her desk, Dawson was surprised that her office was empty, she reached for her bottle and found she needed to sit as her ankles had started to hurt. Taking a few calming breaths she noticed that Smudge had started to kick up a storm again.

"Smudge," she whispered as she ran a soothing hand over her belly. She had been so active during the seminar that she hadn't even noticed if Smudge had been moving around, well all except for that shouting incident. Dawson sighed heavily, never would she had thought that she would need to raise her voice like that. "It's okay sweetheart, Mamá hasn't forgotten you." Tapping her fingers, she suddenly had a thought. Fishing around her desk for her cell, she scrolled through her contacts until she came upon the name she was looking for. Hoping quickly that he wasn't out on a call, she pressed dial.

"Kelly?" she spoke after just a few rings. Hearing him start to panic slightly and the chair scraping against the floor, Dawson deducted that he was sitting in his office. "Kelly… I'm fine. No need to go chasing after Matt. I just wanted to know if you had a few moments to pop into the academy for me?"

Explaining her idea to the squad lieutenant and asking for some other items that she knew she had left at the firehouse when she left, she hung up to a promise that he would be there soon.

* * *

Dawson had decided to leave Moore outside whilst waiting for Severide to turn up. She just couldn't be bothered, knowing that she was ready to lose her temper with the young candidate and that would have been completely inappropriate.

Before long Severide was knocking at her door and sticking his head in the door. "Delivery for Instructor Dawson!"

"Kelly," Dawson exclaimed and hauled herself up to give him a quick hug. Whilst she was still seeing most of the members of the house on a fairly regular basis, it was slightly weird not to be seeing Matt's best friend every other day.

"There seems to be a young candidate standing outside your door," commented Severide taking a seat opposite Dawson. Dawson shook her head as she explained what had been happening.

"Dawson, speak to the Chief of the Academy about that. You are well within your rights to have her bounced," advised Severide upon hearing what she had to say. "Under no circumstances should she be speaking to any superior like that."

"Honestly, I'll speak to the fire instructors and see how she's shaping up over there. And I'll voice my concerns. But I'm not having her kicked out for that. It's just petty."

"Your call Dawson… Just think about it."

Dawson nodded as she eased herself back to her feet, heading towards the door. Yanking the door open she overheard Moore whispering with Richmond, she was sure she caught the words; 'Some firefighter is in there with her and they were hugging. Wonder what that's about?' before Richmond had discreetly pointed in her direction making Moore spin around.

"Dismissed Moore. I expect you back in my class after the break. We will have a serious discussion about your behaviour another day… Another day when I'm not ready to suspend you from the Academy." Dawson shut the door without letting her reply.

"So Severide…" Dawson started as she picked up her jackets that had been given to her. "You got time for some lecturing?" A wide smile starting to spread across her face.

* * *

"Listen up!" announced Dawson as the low rumble of chatter died down. "For the last part of our session today I've managed to get in Lieutenant Severide from Firehouse 51. He is assigned to Rescue Squad 3…. Explain to me - what is Squad?"

"A special operations apparatus that carries tools and equipment for heavy rescue - firefighters who are on squad are specially trained for these type of rescues," came the reply. Severide nodded from the side of the room.

"Right, so before we had a break we were talking about the two cultures that seems to exist within the CFD. And I do believe that it was brought into question about paramedics and them going crawling into buildings… And I'm also assuming that that statement was directed at me." Gabby was being very forthright with the class, she noticed a few of the younger students duck their heads in embarrassment.

"Here…" she stated. She held up both of her turnout coats. One stating 'EMS-PIC Dawson' and the other simply 'Dawson'. Dawson herself hadn't checked out which coats that Severide had come with, so she was overjoyed that the Casey ones hadn't made their way here; she couldn't even imagine that conversation right now.

"What are we looking at?" she questioned.

"Turnout coats…" a young EMT replied. "Both yours Instructor."

Dawson nodded as she took in the changing faces in front of her. She watched on intently as understanding and clarity came upon the faces of most of the fire candidates who had not idea surrounding her background and where she had served with the CFD.

"This is similar to the rocker idea Instructor," took over one of Dawson's other students. "There's nothing different about a firefighter's turnout coat. But on ours is EMS before our surnames. Therefore yours should say EMS Dawson, I expect that you would have one like that. I know what we need to be identified as the medics… But it's always coming back to being different and in a way not accepted."

"Wait," called out Richmond unable to stop his words. "That Dawson jacket isn't from before you were a PIC? Like when you were a regular EMT?"

"No. Actually Lieutenant Severide was one of my instructors. So when you tell me that I don't know what it's like to be crawling into a burning building, smoke blinding me. I can guarantee you that do know. I've been a firefighter. I've worked both on Ambulance as a paramedic and PIC as well as on Truck. I've done a shift on Truck as recently as twenty weeks ago - I went into a burning building to do a search in very low visibility. Here's something for you," Dawson started staring the young man straight on. "I'm a Firefighter/Paramedic, I'm not a Firefighter/EMT…"

"So?" came the cocky reply, his mouth obviously moving faster than his brain. Dawson watched as Severide clenched his hands into fists at the edge of the classroom. She also noticed the gaping mouths of many of the other candidates - however it had come there was a newfound respect that she could see on their faces.

But Dawson simply continued as if she hadn't been interrupted "Now can someone tell me what the difference is?"

"The duration of EMT-basic training in Illinois is around 120 hours. It will take about 950 hours, including theory and practical, to complete a paramedic level of training," retold a candidate from the side of the room. "Emergency Medical Technicians - B are the most common type of providers in all of EMS. They are the entry-level patient care provider followed by paramedics. For a firefighter to be paramedic trained they will have more training and be able to make the bigger calls. It means that Instructor Dawson is very well qualified to be teaching _all_ of us. She has experience across the board."

"Simply," joined in another candidate, a fire one this time, "EMTs are not allowed to provide treatments that requiring breaking the skin."

Gabby nodded along with this locking eyes with Severide. "Lieutenant Severide, as I mentioned before you were an instructor here for a time…" she trailed off hoping that Severide would catch her drift and take over for a moment and hopefully ram her point home.

"Think about this…" Severide started pushing himself off the wall and walking slowly over to where Dawson was teaching from all the while speaking. "The Bureau of Operations is the CFD's largest bureau, with a personnel strength of more than 4,500 uniformed firefighters and paramedics, many of whom are "cross-trained" in the use of nearly 250 pieces of equipment and apparatus, including fire engines, fire trucks, ambulances, squads, helicopters and marine equipment. The Bureau receives more than 500,000 calls per year for emergency assistance, and responds to fires, medical emergencies, hazardous material incidents and other emergency situations, to ensure the safety and wellbeing of Chicago residents and the 28 million visitors who pass through Chicago's airports - across over 1000 firehouses…"

He paused to let all that sink in as he cemented himself next to Dawson, crossing his legs at his ankles letting his weigh settle on the desk as he surveyed the room. "It's the one thing that the CFD lags behind in the country," he started "Many fire departments today have virtually all of their firefighters certified as EMTs. The majority of calls for service to the Chicago Fire Department - Fire suppression units can frequently arrive at the scene of emergencies before an ambulance as there are 167 engine and ladder companies distributed throughout the city, versus 75 ambulances…" Severide paused to let that sink in. He very carefully deliberately removed his radio from around his body to place it onto Dawson's desk.

"All CFD Engines and Ladder Trucks are Basic Life Support, that is they are EMT-staffed units at a minimum," interrupted Dawson after a beat. "Of the 740 or so paramedics serving with the CFD around 150 are crossed trained with Fire Suppression and Rescue. Additionally, there is approximately 180 firefighters who are certified as EMTs at the Basic level…"

"And this is important," took over Severide. Dawson gave a small smile to herself all the while thinking that she could never have scripted this, she and Severide were somehow making this work so smoothly. She didn't even think that she could have made it work this well with her own husband. "Even though fire engines aren't able to transport patients to the hospital at least there is some basic medical care started rapidly."

"And to go back to a question from earlier - this is why we have a two pronged approach in Chicago. Whoever is on the scene first can start the care, and then though a fire rig may not have a paramedic on board, this care is then continued by the paramedics from the scene to the hospital. Is it now clearer why the CFD is keen to close the ever widening gap between its two branches?" Dawson questioned. There was a general murmur of agreement in the room.

"But we still have 167 frontline fire companies," repeated Severide, "which is made up of 96 engines, 61 trucks, 10 ladder rigs and 4 squads, versus 75 EMS units. That should indicate to you all that there are more fire and rescue members than paramedics, many houses with a large gap between their members. How do you as the next generation of firefighters and paramedics close the gap?" Severide questioned.

"Question lieutenant? Whose job is it to close that gap?" Severide regarded the older man who asked the question. Many years ago he would have had a very different answer, he had been a cocky young firefighter who thought that he was above any EMT, even a candidate firefighter should be seen as above a paramedic. Only time on the job and working closely with all arms of the department had given him a different point of view.

"Why should it be any one person's job to do it?" Severide questioned.

"But isn't it going to affect certain people more?" a voice questioned. "If they've got the problem, then shouldn't they be the ones to change it?"

"It's everyone's job to make the change. Both the EMS branch and Fire Suppression," Severide advised.

"The culture gap most affects the lives of the EMS personnel. To labor constantly under such conditions ultimately has deleterious effects on the quality of care rendered. The general quality of EMS care that the EMS personnel provides is good but could be better, and the effect of the culture gap is one reason it is not better," announced Gabby as she regained the attention of her students. "So why should that be important to all of you in the room?"

"At the end of the day, we're all working for the same department. We should be all working together to get the best outcome no matter who we are…" commented a young fire student. Gabby took her in, she seemed quite reserved and this was the first time that Gabby had even noticed her opening her mouth.

Dawson and Severide both nodded along with that sentiment.

"And with that, I think that is as good as any place to end today. I want to thank you all for coming and for the mostly positive thoughts. In a few weeks we will be meeting again for a debriefing. Keep thinking about ways you can make a difference to the Chicago Fire Department. A quick note to the EMT candidates - come ready to discuss this more next week. We'll be drilling down a bit more. My thanks to Lieutenant Severide for his insight." Dawson led the applause for him. "Right, thank you candidates - dismissed."

The two friends watched as the students filed out of the room. Dawson was packing the rest of her gear up knowing that Severide would be waiting to take her turnout gear back to the house for her. Straightening up she took in that Moore was still hanging around the back of the room. Looking in the same direction that the candidate was looking Gabby found herself looking directly at the Squad lieutenant who had taken a seat behind her desk, feet resting on the edge.

"Honestly!" mouthed Dawson to the smug looking Severide. Schooling her face Dawson turned around to directly address the young woman. "Moore - I will see you next week, without nail polish too. There is an appointment sheet with my available times for meetings hanging on my door. Use it. Thank you," she curtly spoke.

"Instructor…"

"That is all candidate!" Without another word Dawson turned her back on the girl and stalked towards Severide. Hearing the door shut loudly Severide couldn't help himself but laugh out loud.

"Geeze Dawson, what are you doing to these candidates? Even I didn't have this any problems…"

"What are you still doing here Severide? Just here to annoy me?" Dawson quickly questioned as she handed over her many folded up turnout coats.

Severide accepted the proffered items. "I was actually wondering if you could drop me back off at the firehouse? Squad dropped me off, so I'm without a car to get back…"

"Strapping lieutenant like you could walk back," Dawson teased.

"Whoa, Dawson. Remind me not to do you another favour. It 20 degrees out there with a chance of rain. You wouldn't want to get Uncle Kelly sick now would you?"

Dawson jokingly grumbled as she walked towards the door. "You pick up my bag and you've got yourself a deal," she threw over her shoulder buttoning up her thick CFD puffer jacket.

Severide groaned as he lifted the bag off of the ground, it was much heavier than he had expected. "What have you got in here Gabby? Bricks?"

* * *

"Dawson!" greeted Kidd as she trailed in after Severide into the common room. "What are you doing here?"

Casey scrambled out of his seat at the head of the table to greet Dawson with a hug, trying to at least keep some form of professionalism at the house, but he moved so fast that he nearly toppled backwards out of his favourite chair. Leaving a hand wrapped around her waist, Dawson leant her head onto Casey's shoulder.

"Oh, apparently this guy here couldn't make his own way back to the house. Something about the threat of rain… You should really get your boyfriend a coat or something Kidd," Dawson joked as she watched Severide pour himself a cup of coffee.

"Maybe he's scared of getting his hair wet," laughed Otis from the couch.

"Oi, watch it…" Severide hissed as he walked passed. "Casey, man… your wife is brutal! Otis should be thankful that he never had Dawson as an instructor! You wouldn't have lasted a day."

Dawson let out an air of exasperation, "She deserved every harsh word spoken to her…" Looking around at the questioning looks peering at her, "Firefighting candidate who needs to consider two things. One - pulling her tongue back into her mouth when meeting Severide and two - thinking before she speaks about her instructors. Don't take to kindly to being told I'm just an EMT and being questioned about crawling into a burning building…" Kidd let out a loud laugh as she saw the look of disgust on Dawson's face.

"Well I don't want to be in her boots for that meeting with Instructor Dawson next week," winked Severide as he made his way out to the squad table. "Remember Dawson - you can't harm the candidates! Just make them scrub things."

 _~ At this point, he may be able to distinguish between your voice and your husband's voice ~_

* * *

 **Hope you all enjoy the chapter – press that review button with your thoughts ~Em**


	26. Week 28 - Stepping on the train

**恭喜** **发财 ~** **Gōng x** **ǐ** **fā cái ~ Happy Chinese New Year everyone! Wishing you all happiness and prosperity! I don't think I'm going to be able to eat at least for the next two days.**

 **For my music suggestion for the week - Head over to YouTube and check out "Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran Cover | Aladdin on Broadway Cast | Disney Sessions" Adam Jacobs has an amazing voice and I've had this on repeat for the entire time that I wrote this chapter. The smooth jazz version is just something a little different.**

 **To my latest guest review – thank you. I'm sorry I can't reply to you personally. But thank you for your kind words and review. Congratulations on the twins and I hope this chapter helps pass a few more moments for you. Rebecca - thanks for doing your thing too!**

 **Anyway, let me know what you think ~Em**

* * *

 _Week Twenty Eight_

 _~ Candidate is the size of a kabocha squash ~_

Matt felt a breath become stuck in his throat as he watched Gabby gingerly make her way down the stairs. Gabby had one hand on the bannister, running it slowly down as she took each careful step down, the click of her shoes reverberating around the small room, and the other holding onto her long dress - Matt was mesmerised. His wife was stunning with a dress on that he had never seen before, his wife was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes upon and when she looked like this, soft curls cascading over her shoulders, he almost forgot how to breathe. Gabby had a floor length ethereal blue dress on with an intricate floral lace overlay, Matt was surprised that he even knew those words. Actually, on closer inspection he found that it was only the lace that was blue, the soft material dress underneath was more of a graphite colour. She looked amazing and he knew that many eyes were going to be on her tonight. He stretched out his hand to help her down the last few steps. He gave her a light grin when he found that she had worn a pair of lowish heels, well lower than normal for her.

"You look breathtaking," whispered Matt as he pressed a swift kiss to her cheek. A blush flushed over her cheeks as she took his hand and allowed herself to be lead towards the kitchen and ultimately towards the back door.

Gabby didn't always feel like she was the same beautiful woman who Matt had fallen in love with, no matter how many times he reminded her. So when she had found out about this late New Year celebration that was being held for Chicago aldermen, she had been on a desperate search for a gown to wear. It hadn't helped that it was so cold still at this time of the year. In the end she had spent a little more than she had previously anticipated doing, but by all accounts it was going to be a dress that she would be able to wear after Smudge was born. Something to do with the acetate and elastane it was made from. It was totally worth the length that she had to get taken up. With the lowest pair of heels she could still fit her feet into she was hoping that she could knock Matt's socks off.

Looking up into his pale blue lust filled eyes, Gabby was pretty sure she had hit the mark with what she had on. Pushing her bag off her shoulder and backing her up towards the wall, Matt started to slide his hand around her waist. He felt the roughness of the lace that covered her back contrasting with her silky smooth skin. He held her close with their foreheads touching as he tucked a lock of her dark hair behind her ear, brushing a finger against her chandelier earrings, all the while trying desperately to keep himself under control. If he could, he would be picking her up bridal style and marching back up the stairs to their bedroom.

"You are stunning baby," he repeated staring deep into her eyes. Slowly Matt traced his thumb along her jaw line slightly raising her chin up to place a feather-light kiss on her soft lips. Gabby felt a spine tingling shiver course through her. Her hands went around his biceps, tightening slightly as she began to feel weak at the knees, toes curling in an attempt to stabilise her balance. She had absolutely no desire to leave his arms, but consciously she knew that they had to leave, even as Matt leant down for a searing kiss. Matt too knew they had to leave, but pushed those thoughts out of his mind bringing his hands to tangle into her curls, tugging on the roots slightly as he deepened the kiss. Wanting greater access, Gabby angled her body slightly away so Matt wasn't covering her belly with his own body, but rather giving him a chance to pull her closer. Moaning against his lips one last time, Gabby regretfully pulled away from him.

Taking a deep somewhat shaky breath she smoothed down her hair to make it more presentable.

"Do you think anyone will miss us?" Matt spoke quietly, not wanting to break the spell that they were in.

Gabby nodded her head ruefully knowing that they needed to go, with only a certain number of alderman in the state he would likely be missed. So without another word she adjusted his silver silk tie, smoothing down his black suit as she went.

With a slight giggle she also had to wipe off the lipstick from Matt's face. "Is there any still even on my face?" she questioned holding up a stained finger. Matt had enough decency to look sheepish as he shook his head. Gabby reached for her small clutch, finding that it was on the floor. Glaring up at Matt, he obediently leant down to pick it up for her. Snatching it up quickly she began digging through for her lipstick before disappearing into the powder room off of the kitchen to reapply it.

"Suppose we should go," huffed Matt trying to calm himself down enough so they were actually able to leave their house. Internally he was cursing whichever 'stupid' person had come up with this alderman's new years party. Whoever it was, it was their fault. If they hadn't been invited, then they wouldn't have had to leave the house. No rather, they would have been able to be heading back upstairs.

* * *

Gabby strained to hear the words as she started to sway to the gentle piano music that was playing in the background. Matt had been pulled away by another alderman, he was from the 32nd ward she thought. Looking around at the wives, partners and significant others surrounding her Gabby sighed inaudibly. This was completely different to the Department Gala - there she knew people, she had her friends from 51. Here she was feeling very young, it seemed to her that most of the aldermen in the City of Chicago were older gentlemen for the most part. And the two young ladies she had seen on their way in were on the arms of men who were seemingly double their own ages, at least double. Not that Gabby made too many judgements on people, each to their own, she had mentioned to Matt that they may have thought to wear just a little more than a slip. Her little black dress would have been considered modest compared to what they were wearing.

After mingling for just short of 40 minutes she had mentioned to Matt that she was tired and was going to take a seat. Matt had offered to take her home, but Gabby would hear nothing of it. She knew how important a night like this was to Matt and his career as an Alderman. Yet she caught herself thinking, not for the first time tonight, that hopefully Matt wouldn't run for another term. She had desperately pushed him to run, to make a difference in the ward - but between all of their roles and responsibilities she would be quite happy for him to be home more. With everything changing in their lives, it would be nice to have him home.

 _When your legs don't work like they used to before_

 _And I can't sweep you off of your feet_

 _Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love_

 _Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks_

Gabby paused her swaying to listen to the words carefully. This wasn't the version that she was used to hearing. But this gentle piano version had changed the mood and feeling of the song so much. It was much more of a light jazz piece now and was easy listening. 'It would be so much easier to dance to now,' thought Gabby.

 _And darling I will be loving you 'til we're 70_

 _And baby my heart could still fall as hard at 23_

 _And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways_

 _Maybe just the touch of a hand_

 _Oh me I fall in love with you every single day_

 _And I just wanna tell you I am_

'This song wasn't a duet normally,' Gabby thought to herself. Yet in her mind is was working surprisingly well, as she closed her eyes and let herself start to sway in her seat again. She wondered to herself who is was singing, she hadn't seen a live band in all the time that they had been here. That would have been surprising to say the least.

"Mrs Casey?" a voice pulled her out of her own little musical world. Slowly opening her eyes, the first thing she noticed was a hand was outstretched, waiting for her to stand up. Her eyes connected with the top of the legs of her mystery person. Slowly she raked her eyes up the length of the man's body, admiring the well cut suit and perfectly tied Windsor knot. When her eyes finally reached his, Gabby allowed a full smile to be shown to Matt, who himself had a little smirk on his face.

Gabby shook her head gently, all the while still swaying. "Matt, I couldn't. I'm much too big to be close dancing with you…" she grumbled good naturedly whilst gesturing down to her stomach.

Matt shook his head, offering his hand once more. "C'mon Gabby… I'm not asking to go out clubbing and shaking it with Brett... I'm asking the most beautiful woman in the room to dance with her husband," he flattered in the hopes that she would come along. "C'mon!" he insisted, wriggling his fingers in her face.

Rolling her eyes at him, she finally relented and allowed him to help her to her feet. On the short walk to the dance floor, Gabby noticed that many more of the older couple were dancing too.

 _So honey now_

 _Take me into your loving arms_

 _Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars_

 _Place your head on my beating heart_

 _I'm thinking out loud_

 _Maybe we found love right where we are_

Gabby manoeuvred herself so she was able to lean her head over Matt's chest. Smiling down at her, he dropped a quick kiss onto the crown of her head.

"Do you remember the last time we danced to this?" he whispered so she would be the only one to hear his question.

"It wasn't that long ago, was it?" she questioned equally as quiet.

"Funny Mrs. Casey," he teased.

Gabby lifted her head off his chest to stare deep into his endless blue eyes. "I could never forget Matt. I'll remember our first dance as husband and wife for the rest of my life."

 _When my hair's all but gone and my memory fades_

 _And the crowds don't remember my name_

 _When my hands don't play the strings the same way, mm_

 _I know you will still love me the same_

Gabby allowed the words to rush over her as she reached up to tap Matt on the nose, laughing to herself slightly. She was instantly transported back to their wedding day and the amount of fun they had actually had. Matt had organised for their wedding car to be an old red ford tudor which Gabby had adored. Plus, Kelly in that car was like giving a kid the keys to the candy store.

They had driven by the Chicago Firehouse Restaurant and Kelly had moved to the front and stuck his head next to the driver and asked him to stop. Luckily for them, their photographer was behind them and was able to stop too. Gabby and Matt had spoken at length about the Firehouse Restaurant, they had even considered having their reception there but in the end had decided against it. And they had thought about having photos in front of the building, yet Kelly insisted that they do it.

The photo that sat atop of their office desk was one from outside the firehouse. Kelly and Matt had been joking around about their turnout coats. Matt had even offered to ring Herrmann and get him to pick up his coat and drop it off to where they were having their photos taken. 'Would you look good in that white dress and my turnout coat?' Matt had asked her.

 _'Cause honey your soul can never grow old, it's evergreen_

 _Baby your smile's forever in my mind and memory_

 _I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways_

 _Maybe it's all part of a plan_

 _I'll just keep on making the same mistakes_

 _Hoping that you'll understand_

Matt remembered that time they had danced to this same song, albeit the original version. The Caseys had gone through their share of ups and downs to ever get to walking down the aisle. All being said, Matt would never be able to wipe the memory of Gabby walking towards him on the arm of her father in an elegant white dress. He would never forget her curly hair which she had left down, he had to clasp his hands together as she walked closer to him as an attempt to not reach out and run his hands through the curls. Kelly had taken a step forward to remind him to breathe at that exact moment.

 _Now baby now_

 _Take me into your loving arms_

 _Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars_

 _Place your head on my beating heart_

 _I'm thinking out loud_

 _That maybe we found love right where we are, oh_

"Well at least I don't need to worry about stepping on the long train this time," joked Matt as they swayed to the music. Gabby giggled as she pulled the bottom of the dress away from Matt's feet.

"Yes, I did think about that…" she spoke. "I even had it taken up so your feet didn't stomp on it… Yeah that's right, I remember you nearly stepping on my wedding dress."

Matt raised his eyebrows at her before breaking into a grin. "That was a hell of a dress Gabby. You should have done something with that train thingy…" Shaking her head slightly, Gabby laid his head back onto his chest, enjoying the steady beating of his heart.

 _And we found love right where we are_

 _Right where we are_

Matt dipped her slightly, just from her upper back. "Another one?" he questioned. Just as she was about to give an affirmative answer the music changed from the slow jazz to a much faster paced song and Gabby shook her head.

"Don't think Smudge and I are quite up to that," she mentioned as they made their way back to the table. "Could you get me something to drink please?" Watching Matt walk towards the bar, Gabby rested a hand on her belly as she surveyed the room watching as the 'younger' people in attendance made their way onto the dance floor.

"Mrs Casey?" an uncertain voice came from behind her. Gabby spun around to find a woman of a similar age to her. She was slightly unsure how this person knew her name or why she was being spoken to. Generally, at these events everyone wanted to speak to Matt, never to her.

"Yes?" her unsure voice came.

"Oh I am sorry…" spoke the other woman, extending her hand. "I'm Jessica Martin. I'm Joshua Martin's wife, Alderman for the 38th ward," Jessica spoke. Seeing that the confusion was still on Gabby's face, she gestured to the seats beside them. Gabby was grateful as she lowered her body to the somewhat uncomfortable seat. "Alderman Casey gathered a lot of press attention all throughout Chicago. And there was scarcely a photo without you next to him."

"Yes, so I heard," mumbled Gabby, her mind moving straight to Susan.

"Oh, I meant nothing by it," apologised Jessica. "It's only… It's only I've been to many of these things and very rarely is there anyone that I would be able to talk to. Or even want to talk to. Honestly," Jessica lowered her voice. "It's like everyone is nearly over a hundred… The alderman from Ward 14 was elected in 1969. And even those who are were elected recently, so many of them are much older than us. I was just happy that there is finally someone else who is the same age… Or near enough…"

"What about them?" Gabby questioned pointing at the young blonde pair of girls who were sipping what Gabby had surmised to be cocktails from a distance.

Jessica shook her head swiftly, "They are what I like to refer to as the blonde achievement girls. The aldermen that they come with have a rotation of girls. Different one for every event. And if you don't mind I would prefer to have a decent adult conversation. Unless you want to talk about the latest skimpy fashion I wouldn't bother. I get better conversation with my three year old," she joked.

"You have children?" asked Gabby intrigued.

Nodding, "Two," she confirmed. "Belle who is my three year old and Craig, our eldest is nearly five…"

Gabby pondered how she was going to ask the next question, but thoughts had been trapped in the back of her mind with all the work that Matt was doing and honestly she was wondering how much longer he could hold up to the pace he was currently travelling at. Here presented in front of her was a woman who had children and seemingly had to juggle children with a serving alderman. "I was wondering…" Looking up at Jessica she waited for a nod of her head as confirmation that she could ask her question. "I was wondering how you managed it all?"

"When are you due?"

"April…"

"So not too long now," Jessica told her with a warm smile. "It's a juggling act, I'll tell you that. This is Josh's second term and I'll be honest with a nearly 12 month old at the time I wasn't sure if I wanted him to run again. But this is a full-time gig for him… Not that there's anything wrong with having another job," she hurried to say when she saw Gabby's eyes flashover.

"Hey…" Matt interrupted, placing a glass down in front of her. "Matt Casey," he offered his hand to Jessica as she too introduced herself. "Please don't let me interrupt. A couple of the other aldermen are planning a golfing day. So I might just…" Gabby nodded to him as he placed a quick kiss to her forehead and gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"How do you do it with all the commitments and two kids and everything?" Gabby questioned, her eyes taking in his retreating form. "Sorry, that was quite personal." Jessica was quick to brush her off.

"Don't worry about it… It's nice to have someone to talk to. I would have loved to have someone to talk to when Josh first became a politician. For us, it works better as a family. Josh is helping out our community and ward and still gets to come home to us and play Daddy with our kids. He was a lawyer before he gave it up to be an alderman, and he was never home, never got to put Craig to bed. Who knows, one day he might go back to it. But this is what works for us. I did read that Alderman Casey was still working his regular job…"

Gabby nodded in confirmation, "Matt never wanted to become an alderman. I wanted him to make a difference, our ward wanted him to make a difference. But Matt is a firefighter, there's not much out there that would make him give that up," Gabby honestly told her.

"Then let me tell you this Gabby, from an alderman's wife who has been by his side for a lot of political ups and downs. You will make it work. And what works for the Martin family might not be right for the Casey family. But I do know you'll work it out. It's what we alderman wives do best - support our man and hold it all together."

* * *

Gabby dropped her bag on the kitchen counter as they walked into their house. As Matt dragged his feet behind her, he loosened his tie before finally pulling at it and discarding the piece of material next Gabby's bag. He watched as Gabby struggled to take off her heels. She tried to hop on one foot for a moment, but she just couldn't quite manoeuvre her leg behind her back around her belly high enough for her to actually get a good enough grip on the shoe. Next she tried bending from her side so she could somehow get her belly out of the way and shoe a bit closer to her hands. Matt knew that this wasn't going to stop anytime soon, Gabby would keep going until she managed to get it off. Taking pity on her, he came up behind her putting some pressure on the small of her back.

She looked up and gave him a soft smile as she took his other hand into her own allowing him to lead her over to the couch. Sighing in relief as Matt removed her shoes, Gabby started to roll her ankles in the air after Matt took a seat next to her. They sat in a comfortable silence with Gabby's head resting on his shoulder. Matt sighed contentedly as he brought his hand up to run through her curls. The longer they sat there Gabby felt something slightly different.

Gabby's hand came to rest on the top of her belly, just under her bra line. She stared off into the distance for a while, her hand moving slightly every so often.

"What is it?" Matt questioned noticing that Gabby had drifted into herself.

"I think Smudge has the hiccups…" Gabby stated. It was a slightly different feeling. At first, she thought that it was just Smudge kicking to make sure that both parents knew that they were there. But it was much too rhythmic for it to simply be kicking. It was a weird pulsing sensation at the top of her belly.

Matt smiled as his hand went to the base of her belly.

"His head must be up at the moment. Clara mentioned that Smudge would still be moving around, sometimes head up and sometimes head down. But I can definitely feel it at the top of my belly. The hiccups are like an exciting variation on the kicks and turns I've been feeling for weeks now. It's like little rhythmic or jerky movements," she explained to him. Taking pity on him she grabbed his hand and placed it over where she was feeling the movement.

Matt smiled as he felt the familiar movement under his hand, "It's not as strong as the kicks I felt earlier," he noted.

Gabby shook her head, "That's what makes me think it's hiccups. It's amazing to feel him moving all the time now…"

"That's the second time that you've mentioned him," pointed out Matt as he pulled her closer in and undoing the sash that was around her waist. "Are you coming around to my idea that it's a boy?" he grinned.

Gabby pursed her lips and adamantly shook her head. "He today, her tomorrow. I'm sharing it out," she laughed. Matt joined in before untangling himself to remove his jacket. "Did I tell you that I shocked our baby into giving me a swift hard kick in the ribs at the academy last week? It was so hard that it nearly took my breath away…" Matt shook his head encouraging her to continue her story. "It was during the seminar I gave last week. I may have shouted at the class…"

Matt raised his eyebrows questioningly at her. It actually didn't surprise him all that much, he knew that his wife had a temper. But at the same time it would have had to have been a pretty major event for her to lose her temper at a group of students. Generally, things have to have been building for her to explode.

"Argument between firefighters and EMTs about who is more important," Gabby glossed over the minor details. "Anyway I shouted and it obviously woke a snoozing Smudge who gave me a swift kick to let me know. I don't think I've ever felt a kick so hard, it was a struggle to catch my breath. But I just need to get my students out of my class and moving. But Smudge obviously takes after Daddy…. Going to be quite the kicker…"

Matt smiled at this, wondering what it was going to be like to have a little boy that he could teach how to kick a ball and take him to the baseball and ice hockey. It had disappointed him for many months that he hadn't been able to take Louie to a Blackhawks game. There had always been plans to, but both he and Gabby had reasoned that at three years old, maybe he was a little young for a Hawks game. And then everything had taken a turn in a different direction and so Matt had never had the chance to take the little boy to any sporting events. He couldn't wait to change this fact with their new little baby.

"Tired yet?" he questioned, nodding slightly as Gabby shook her head.

"It's just nice here." She looked around, most of the house was still in darkness, the fire was on its last legs. It was dying down now yet it was still warm enough in the house. Matt had dimmed the lights and it almost felt like the calm before the storm.

"You aren't working tomorrow are you? Daley Day?" Gabby confirmed. Once she had confirmation she pulled her leg up onto the couch and snuggled into Matt. Shifting around Matt pulled her back into his chest so he was able to rest both of his hands on her bump, amazed that he was still feeling Smudge hiccup away.

"You comfortable? Or did you want to get out of this dress?"

Gabby shook her head. "I'm perfect right here… I cannot believe how comfortable this dress is. The material is like butter against my skin…" raved Gabby smoothing down the dress.

"It does feel incredibly soft," agreed Matt as he dropped a quick kiss on her shoulder.

"I'll admit that I was concerned about how I was going to feel after such a long night out. I thought that I would be ready to get out of it the minute we got home, but it's not at all tight around my belly." Matt nodded along with her words.

He gently ran his hands over her belly as he let his mind wander over what was going to be coming up over the next few months. "Babe?"

"Hmm…" came the slightly sleepy reply

"It's okay," Matt brushed off. There would be no point even trying to have a serious conversation with her whilst she was tired. Gabby caught something in Matt's tone that caused her to become wide awake. Twisting to look at his face - there was something in Matt's eyes that told her there was something off. Clouded behind his eyes was a look of worry and one that Gabby might even describe as fear.

"What is it?" Gabby questioned as she struggled to sit upright. Once Matt gave her a hand, Gabby settled herself up against the other end of the couch so she was able to look Matt square in the face. "What is it?" she repeated.

"You know when you come to the house a few weeks ago, we were out at a fire? Why?" Matt skirted about the actual issue. Gabby raised a pondering eyebrow at him.

"Matt, I know you don't love me driving at night, especially when there has been snow," Gabby started to defend herself thinking that Matt was getting ready to point out the safeness aspect of that night. During her time as both a paramedic and firefighter had she attended too many scenes with an inexperienced driver in the snow, even the most experienced drivers could meet with danger on the icy roads. And although she hated to admit it her reactions probably weren't as fast as they used to be.

"No," Matt took her hand gently. "I mean why did you come to the house? Although if you stayed off the icy roads…"

"I just couldn't sleep Matt," she confessed.

"So you decided that my uncomfortable bunk would be a good idea?" he interrupted not quite believing what it was he was hearing. If he had the choice of the large comfy bed upstairs or firehouse 51, he knew exactly which one would win. There was not one piece of comfortable furniture in his office.

"That night, did you know that we had spent exactly 8 nights apart since we've been married? Whether we're sharing a bed or not, since we've been married we've always been at the same house albeit sometimes just sharing the house. And there had been 5 nights that I was all alone in our big bed, I'm just not used to being there by myself," she divulged. "There was no use tossing and turning here. I thought it might just help seeing you," she gave him a shy smile ducking her head slightly.

"Seeing you curled up on my bed… It made me wonder about being parents… Well me really."

Something clicked inside Gabby, she wondered if this was coming from the conversation she overheard, well more like a monologue from him. If there was anyone who was going to be a good parent it was Matthew Casey, there was no denying it. "Matt, there's no such thing as a perfect parent…" Matt scoffed slightly.

"Really?" he questioned, an almost disbelieving tone in his voice, his hand slipping away from hers. "Have you met your parents? They are about as close to perfect as anyone can get. You have no idea how lucky you and Antonio are to have that relationship as a model."

"That's not fair," Gabby bit back, straighten her back ready to give Matt a piece of her mind. What had gotten into him? They had been having a pleasant evening and now here he seemingly having a go. "That doesn't make everything ok and let me tell you this Matt - they are not perfect; no one is…"

"Pretty close to it," Matt grumbled under his breath.

"Hey," Gabby's hand shot out to grab his arm causing him to look over. "Yes my parents are good parents and they have a good marriage - but they don't define us Matt. We are different people…"

"Seemed to rub off on Antonio… I have seen him with Eva and Diego..." he continued to grumble, a little louder this time. And if looks could kill, Matt might be dead, at the least seriously wounded.

"And what does that say about their marriage huh?" Gabby questioned. "Once again Mamá and Papá's marriage isn't perfect - but if your theory was right, then Antonio and Laura would still be married. But they're not. They had their own marriage with their own problems just like Mamá and Papá do… Just like we will." Matt shook his head slightly, pausing for a beat to take in everything that Gabby was actually saying to him. "Matt," she implored, "you always were the one to remind me that we aren't either of our parents or siblings. We're on our own journey."

Huffing, he stood up, not willing to continue on with the conversation - in his mind it was a stupid idea to even bring this up. He didn't know how to even say what he was feeling. He never did.

As he went to take a step away from the couch, Gabby reached out to grab his wrist, stopping him in his track. "Matt," she spoke softly, "What is it honestly?" Tugging on his hand slightly, she encouraged him to sit back down and swung her own legs over the edge of the couch. Silently, patiently she waited for him to speak. Never once pressuring him to speak. She was sure that at least ten minutes had passed before he finally spoke up.

"How do I do it? How am I supposed to be a good husband, a good firefighter, a good alderman and most importantly a good father? It's not that I had the best role model…" Matt trailed off. Gabby had to fight hard to keep the look of shock off her face. Matt had always come across confident about their expanding family. Even in the time when she had been fearful of the impending future, he had never swayed in his happiness in knowing that this was right for his family. Matt had wanted to be a father for as long as Gabby could remember, she could remember as clear as day that time they had spent at the park with the Darden boys when she had called him out on it. He wanted this - and it wasn't that she was questioning it, but if she was honest she had been expecting this reaction sooner or later. No matter how sure he was about everything. Sooner or later a changing future would hit anyone in the face.

Matt watched apprehensively as very few emotions passed over Gabby's face. He had expected some form of reaction from her. The lack of anything from her was perplexing. He didn't know exactly what it was he was expecting from her, but complete silence wasn't it. The main concern that he had been harbouring that had been preventing him ever saying something before the fear that Gabby wasn't going to be understanding or would be hormonal and not let him explain himself. Deep down he thought it was really coming back to what he was thinking of himself. A fear that he wasn't going to be a good father and everything was going to be a disaster.

"Why do you say that?" Gabby questioned carefully.

"I mean look at my role model compared to yours…" Gabby let him keep talking rather than interjecting about her own parents again. "You come from this family who loves and cares for each other without question. My own mother killed my father. And he was abusive - what do I know about being a good father? What do I do if Smudge hates me, like I hated my father?" he questioned staring at Gabby's belly. Gingerly almost as if he was fearful of being rejected he reached out a hand to place in on her stomach.

"Matt that's not going to happen," Gabby confidently told him, her own hand coming to rest atop his. "Don't protest, I know it's not going to happen. You aren't your father Matt and you need to stop thinking that. You're not going to be a perfect parent, no one is. But I've heard you talk to Smudge and I've heard you talk about Smudge, you already love him so much. Baby that's all any child could want. You were amazing with Louie - why would Smudge be any different?"

Matt lifted his head, moving his thumb in a rubbing motion. "You sound like Herrmann, you know that?"

"Did you get the father Herrmann talk?" Upon confirmation Gabby continued to chat. "Even though Papá is living here in Chicago now, Herrmann still is and probably always will be our firehouse dad. He's been there for so much of our journey Matt. And with five children I would trust most things he says," she laughed. " _Most_ ," she emphasised.

"I told Herrmann that I feel like I'm on a ride that I can't get off," he smiled wryly. "And he told me that he had five children who turned out alright. If he can do it then so could I. Tough lieutenant like me who can handle Crotis would be okay."

"You know I've kinda been expecting this Matt…" Gabby looked up to find wide blue eyes questioning her. "This," she started motioning to ever expanding waistline, "This was always going to be a big change in life. And I know we talk about Louie, but…"

"But he was different…" supplied Matt. "Louie came to us able to speak and tell us what he wanted and what was wrong. I'm not so versed in cry-language."

Gabby laughed lightly. "And I know you've always wanted to be a dad… But I expected that sooner or later everything would hit you, the whole enormity of the situation was finally going to hit you. I had the freak out months ago, now it's just your turn. Every parent worries Matt, it's normal."

"I'm supposed to be there for you Gabby, I promised you that."

"And you were," she assured him, "Every time I needed. And this doesn't make me question you - But it's my turn to lift you up. You promised me that on our wedding day that's what we do for each other, we lift each other up."

Matt looked down at her smiling face with loved filled eyes. This was just a bump in their road to parenthood, and he was sure that it was going to be one of many. Smirking he pulled her closer to him and covered her warm lips with own.

Pulling back after a moment or so, she slowly steadied her breathing. "Matt," Gabby took his hand into her own, "Smudge is so lucky to have a hero for a daddy… No, don't scoff… Think about it. On any given work shift, when we attend a fire, all of the 'everyday' people are running away from the danger, away from the fire. But not you… You're running headlong into the danger to save people. That makes you a special person. And your child is going to think the world of you. Their daddy is a hero. That's what they're going to think. No one is perfect Matt… No one is meant to be."

 _~ She is beginning to open her eyes and blink ~_

* * *

 **Obviously I don't own the song 'Thinking out loud' by** **Ed Sheeran or the version that I had playing in my mind. Like I mentioned earlier go check out the Dinsey cover.**

 **Thanks for reading guys. I'm actually going to take a bit of a break. I had been planning, since last year, that I was going to post this story once a week for the entire 40 weeks, that you were all going to read the story in a real time pregnancy. But it just isn't going to happen, sorry. I'm starting back at work on Monday in a new position, same school but something new for me. And I just know that I need to sort myself out with real life things first. I'm sure I'll keep writing and then hopefully I'll be back with the last 11 weeks or so before we get to meet Smudge.**


	27. Week 29 - Wooden Door

**Wow I never thought I would take this long to get to another chapter. Disclaimer though – this is all I really have written. So whilst I would love to say that it won't be a long wait for the next chapter I'm not so sure. I just want to get something out there for you to read and hopefully enjoy.**

 **To Rebecca for pushing, supporting and being a wonderful beta and friend, thank you girl. And to both her and Jewel who have listened to me about this chapter and given me feedback about the juggling that I have done with this story – a huge thank you!**

 **And thank you for all the reviews and DMs that I have received whilst my little story has been on hiatus. My school year has gone off to a hectic start, and whilst I love my new position – juggling that and my masters has left me very little time to write. It's actually taken me an entire term to write this chapter which is completely different to the previous chapters which I had written in a week.**

 **This chapter took on a different life as I started to write it and I've done some moving around of some planned chapters and this is what came about. And I know I say this fairly often, but – in this chapter is one of my favourite lines ever. See if you can work it out and tell me your favourite line. Hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think ~ Em**

* * *

 _Week Twenty Nine_

 _~ Candidate is the size of a large butternut squash ~_

Matt sighed as his hand paused on the cold metal door handle. It had been a long nearly 48 hours since he had last seen his wife. He had been out there working at 51 and by the time his 24 hour shift had been over he had arrived home to an empty house. He had tended to love that at nearly 30 weeks Gabby still hadn't really slowed down. He loved to watch her manoeuvre her way around the kitchen in the mornings, a hand resting on her protruding belly and a soft smile on her face as she would be preparing breakfast all the while muttering in Spanish softly to Smudge. Or the times he would come home to find Gabby sitting in their office absentmindedly rubbing a spot where Smudge had kicked still marking papers that would be scattered across the desktop.

She was still out there working at the Academy and was still picking up the odd shift at Molly's. So when he had arrived home that morning, Gabby had already left for the Academy. Then he was out at an alderman's meeting in the afternoon. Thinking that Gabby would be home, he had stopped on the way back to pick up Chinese for dinner, only to have missed her again. Again he was walking into an empty house. Apparently, she had gone into Molly's thinking that Kidd wasn't able to do a shift as he had found out from Herrmann when he had arrived. You would think after this many weeks of juggling both of their many careers that they would have managed to work out a schedule so they would actually see each other.

So when Matt arrived home for that last time to find that his wife was at Molly's he quickly made his mind up that he was going to find her and drag her home. He knew that Gabby had one speed and that was fast, there was no slowing her down. Just a few days ago he had watched as she stubbornly tried to reach a glass high up in one of the kitchen cabinets. Her ever growing belly was getting in the way and she couldn't manoeuvre herself close enough to the bench and even with standing on her tiptoes she couldn't grasp the glass as once she would have been able to. Matt had stood back and watched her for a while, he had watched as she strained from left to right and back left again. Even as she had looked around for a chair to stand on he had simply watched her, knowing that if he stepped in she would likely bite his head off. It all changed however when she had tried to slide herself up onto the kitchen counter. There was no stopping her, and Matt wouldn't change anything about her, but he drew the line at her climbing, he just had to intervene.

Even remembering that situation caused Matt to think that she just didn't stop and think enough. As much as he knew it wasn't intentional there were times that it felt like Gabby didn't even remember that she was pregnant. She had always been headstrong and very confident with everything that she did. Gabby had been one of the first female firefighters at Fire House 51 and she had thrown herself into everything headlong. Matt had been so proud of her and everything that she had accomplished not only as a firefighter but as a PIC too. Gabby led from the front, just as all of the officers at 51 did. But Matt was ready for her to take a step back too.

Many of these worries had culminated in a conversation with Severide during a down moment that they had both had. He had been working in his office when Severide had barged in and flung himself unceremoniously onto his bunk. Matt had pondered for a moment or two if there had been a disagreement between Kidd and Severide, that had been the only time that Severide would come into his office lately. Not that they had been having many lover's tiffs, but being together all the time; both at home and work could sometimes just bring up little niggles that might have otherwise gone unnoticed. Not to mention the Truck vs Squad that each could bring up during an argument. He had fondly remembered those little tiffs that Gabby and he would have had in the past. But Matt had been way off base, Severide had wanted to talk about what had happened at the Academy a few weeks ago. Any new comer to 51 would likely call Severide out for being a hard arse and seemingly uncaring. But the 51 family knew better, and there was a reason that the Caseys wanted Kelly to be Smudge's godfather. Antonio aside, there was no one that Matt would trust more with his child than his best friend, no matter the ups and downs they had been through.

And all of this had been very evident when Severide came in to talk about what had happened at the Academy, he had been worried about Gabby. Matt had only heard the cliff notes version of what had happened at the seminar, and whilst at the same time Severide had only half a story from the time he was there, it all started to piece together for Matt. It just reminded him of the fear he felt when Gabby had mentioned in passing that she had raised her voice at the class. It must have been a big thing for that to occur and it was all stress that Gabby didn't need.

He had thought for a few weeks now that she had been doing too much, but wasn't sure how to even bring up the subject with her hormones. Gabby had never mentioned when she was going to take leave from the CFD, he wasn't even sure whether there was a policy in place for situations like this, there had to be. However, he was going to have to find another word, other than 'situation' if he was going to broach the subject with Gabby. How exactly was he supposed to say to her 'Babe, I want you to stop working so hard?' It wasn't in Gabby's nature to give anything less than 100 percent in all of her jobs, even as a wife she gave it her all.

The freezing metal of the door handle jerked Matt back to reality as the tips of his fingers started to sting and tingle. He watched carefully as his breath blew up little puffs of mist in the cold air, his eyes fixated on the small clouds that formed, he hadn't meant to be out for so long. But once he had realised that Gabby wasn't home after his latest venture to their house, he just knew that she would have gone to Molly's. There wasn't a note left on the counter like she would usually have left, nor was there any mention of a shift on the kitchen blackboard. Still, Matt had a feeling, deep down, he just knew that she was there.

It was all in vain, however. By the time that Matt had made his way into the loud and crowded bar, Gabby was nowhere to be seen. Matt had wedged himself at one end of the bar and scanned the room; he had seen Otis, Herrmann and Kidd serving the many patrons, and all of Squad 3 were seated around a back table, their laughter clearly audible all across the bar. Brett was sitting at the other end of the bar with a group of girls who Matt didn't recognise. Still unable to find Gabby, he started searching the room again; from the back corner along the wall, behind where he stood, near the entrance and finally behind the bar.

Moments later when he found that he was still coming up short, he pondered where she might be. It was entirely possible that Gabby might be working in the back. Then it occurred to him that Gabby wasn't doing work in the back room anymore, most of that type of work was heavy lifting and Herrmann had banned her from that months ago. The only lifting that she did at Molly's now was handing out and collecting glasses. Matt's brow furrowed, if Gabby wasn't here then where could she possibly be? He fished into his pant pockets looking for his cell, thinking that he might just ring Antonio. Maybe she was with her brother, however weird it might be that she didn't leave a note.

Maybe she had mentioned that there was going to be a catch up with her older brother. Miguel and Adriana had flown back to the Dominican Republic for a family member's birthday three days ago and wouldn't be back for at least another four weeks. Adriana had been hesitant about leaving the Windy City at all, the closer Gabby got to her due date the closer Adriana had felt that she needed to be. It had all climaxed just before the elders left with Gabby reminding her mother that not only did women give birth every day, but she was still working and was able to do all those things that she had been doing weeks ago. Still, Matt shared the worry and concern that his mother-in-law held as Gabby got closer and closer to only being in single weeks towards them meeting Smudge. Matt couldn't blame them; they were excited; he knew how important family was to the Dawsons.

So maybe Gabby was having dinner with Antonio. It felt like he hadn't seen him for weeks, even if in reality it had only been last week since he had been speaking to his brother-in-law about helping him out with the nursery. He definitely owed Antonio a drink or two if they could pull off what he wanted to do. But it all felt like he was running out of time. Gabby had eleven weeks to go, it was frightening that his little Smudge was going to be here in a few very short weeks. What if they weren't ready? Knowing the speed that Gabby was going at, she would likely finish at the academy only a few days before the baby arrives. Perish the thought, there was a reoccurring nightmare that Matt would have once in while where he would get a panicked phone call telling him that Gabby had gone into labour whilst lecturing and was on the way to the hospital in a fire vehicle.

Herrmann looked up as he heard Matt sigh and noticed the young man patting down all of his pockets. He stared intently as Matt finally pulled out his phone out of an inner jacket pocket. He hadn't expected to see Matt standing in Molly's fully decked out in a suit, especially when Gabby was at home. He was sure that he had overheard Casey telling Severide that he had a finance meeting at city hall tonight and rarely did Casey come by Molly's after a session, that had been the new norm since Gabby had pulled back with all of her shifts. Where it was once common for them to spend many evenings here; Gabby working at the bar and Matt coming in after a vote or meeting, now Herrmann would rarely see that situation.

"Lieutenant?" his voice questioned as he caught the blonde's attention. "Beer?" Herrmann tried not to mention the obvious look of distress on his face, maybe the young Casey couple had had a falling out. It wouldn't have been the first time and likely wouldn't be the last. He could remember how many misunderstandings he and Cindy experienced over their five pregnancies. Maybe it was time to dish out some well meaning fatherly - Herrmann advice. Sighing, he strode purposefully towards Matt, removing the towel from his shoulder.

"Hey Lieutenant..." his gravelly voice rang out again, looking into his blue eyes.

* * *

Matt sighed again as he thought about what Herrmann had told him, really he had to trust the older firefighter, after all he did have five children of his own. His second in command had reminded him once again that pregnant women were a different breed and that Matt shouldn't take anything personally. When Matt had mentioned that he was thinking of telling Gabby what he really thought of all of her working Herrmann had strongly cautioned against doing anything of the sort.

But at the same time, Cindy was nothing like Gabby - Cindy Herrmann was the glue that kept that family together and running smoothly, but she also knew her limits. Gabby, on the other hand, Matt truly believed that she wouldn't ever stop until she was forced to. After one last deep somewhat calming breath Matt made his way into the house hanging his car keys in the mudroom and stomping his boots to rid them of the snow before removing them.

The sight of Gabby in a pair of stretchy long pants with a stripy navy and white long sleeve slouch top took his breath away. There was nothing special about what she had on and her hair was piled up into a messy bun near the top of her head, it was nothing like the dress that she had worn to the party a week ago - but still Matt had to remind himself to breathe. There was something primal about the sight he was taking in, the way that her shirt tucked in over her growing belly protecting _his_ child. His child growing safely and he was reminded how fast time was passing him by. He was so lost in thought that he never noticed that Gabby's attention had turned to him.

"Hey," Gabby greeted nonchalantly turning to give him a warm smile.

This simple greeting caused Matt's blood to simmer momentarily. Never mind how fast Gabby's emotions could change, his own feelings had quickly changed back to anger from loving thoughts. How was it that Gabby was able to be so calm after he had been chasing her around the city of Chicago? How could she have had so little concern about just being away from home? Without even leaving him a note. But of course, she would never have even thought that he was worried and tired.

"What?" Gabby asked somewhat self-consciously giving him a weird look. She stared at him for a few more moments trying to work out why Matt was glaring at her. Her eyes wandered around and even started to smooth the material over her belly, a slight smile coming to her face as she felt Smudge give a gentler nudge than normal.

Matt shook his head slightly, making his way over to her. Wrapping her up in his arms, Matt took a moment or two to breathe in the citrus smell that lingered around from her shampoo. Trying desperately to shove everything down, Matt breathed heavily. Gabby upon hearing this, pulled back and stared up intently.

"What is it?" she asked matter a factly. Matt glanced down at the concerned look that was facing him. Brushing her off, Matt withdrew his hand from around her waist and started towards the fridge looking for food.

"Nothing," he mentioned. "What did you want for dinner?"

Gabby stared at the empty space that was now in front of herself. "Nothing, I don't need anything…" quickly she continued on seeing Matt open his mouth to protest. "I had a bite with Kidd and Severide when I was at Molly's earlier."

Matt hissed as quietly as he could. Pulling a beer out of the fridge he quickly popped the lid off and took a drink before he spoke again. "So Molly's?" he drew out the 'L'. Gabby nodded in acknowledgement. "I'm a bit surprised," he stated.

If Gabby was surprised she showed no traces of it, so on Matt went. "I'm just a bit concerned. I feel like I haven't seen you in days, Gabby. You've got a bit going on and I'm just a bit…" Matt paused for a second to think of the right word "...a bit worried…" he trailed off.

"Worried?" came the short reply.

"Worried… Gabby I just want to talk about it. There's a lot happening in our lives. And to come home to an empty house. It was …surprising."

"Soooo…" tried out Gabby, "you expected me to be home? Have dinner ready for you?"

Matt sighed as he placed his beer on the kitchen bench. This was starting to go in the same direction as he had expected. He knew that it didn't matter which words he used or in what way he said, Gabby was always likely to react this way. "Not to have dinner ready for me," protested Matt. "I just thought you'd be home. You've been busy and are juggling work, Molly's and the pregnancy…"

"So this is about Smudge?" she squeaked. "You don't think that I can handle everything that I already do. Let me remind you Matthew Casey that I am more than capable of handling myself."

"No… Gabby," Matt leant out to reach his hands towards hers. "I just want to talk about it!" his voice raising slightly. Gabby huffed and pulled herself just out of Matt's reach.

Matt watched as Gabby turned away from him once more focusing her attention on the already clean dishes and mugs in the sink. He steadied his breathing as he took silent steps towards her, annoyed with her for ignoring his plea to talk and annoyed at himself for pushing so hard. Carefully his hands went around her hips, allowing himself to smile slightly as he felt her muscles tense in surprise at the contact.

Matt gently eased the last mug out of her hand and placed it on the sink draining board. Without losing contact with her, he turned around letting his thumbs work their way under her shirt and started caressing the skin along the small of her back. Gabby let a small smile cross her face as she tried to hold onto the annoyance that she was feeling towards her husband. How dare he question how she was living her life?

"Gabby," he started softly, his mouth near to her ear. Gabby shivered slightly as she felt his warm breath tickle her neck. "All I want is for you to think about everything that is going on around here…" he expressed honestly. Matt felt Gabby start to bubble as she began to tense, he didn't even need to look in her eyes to know that he had chosen the wrong words. Instinctively he tightened his grip on her hips and with his other hand grabbed onto the edge of the sink blocking her into his embrace. He didn't want her to run, not again.

"Matt," she growled her voice dangerously low. "Let me go," she warned. Matt raised his hands in surrender and took a step back. Silently he watched as Gabby threw down the washcloth that was near her hands and then stormed out of the kitchen the best she could. Matt sighed loudly as he ran a hand wearily over his face.

* * *

Gabby found herself slightly short of breath. She had only stormed off from the kitchen into the living in an attempt to remove herself from Matt's gaze. And it frustrated her, it was barely any exertion and she found herself out of breath. What was happening here? Gabby took a deep breath, well as much as she could and left her hands resting lightly on her belly. Matt watched from the entryway as she attempted to ground herself and took a seat on the couch.

Laying her head back onto the edge of the couch, Gabby's hands ran around her belly as she tried to relax her muscles. As she approached the end stage of her pregnancy there was a strain that had started to show itself, she was uncomfortable and so easily fatigued. And although Gabby would never admit it, it was getting harder and harder to make it through a work day. These were things that hadn't even bother her previously - she was used to working 24 hour shifts and now she could barely do an eight hour day. Almost unconsciously she moaned as Matt's warm strong hands found their way to her neck. Gently, Matt moved his hands along her neck muscles, attempting to loosen the strained muscles he felt under his fingers. Tugging carefully at the tie Matt pulled her hair free of its constraints smiling as it fell down into its natural waves. Gabby smiled as she felt Matt's fingers start to massage her head and the nails rake over her scalp. It was hard to be mad at him when he was sweet like this. She wanted to hate him, how could he just think that she would just throw her career away.

"Gabby," Matt tried again as he moved to sit next to her on the couch, his hands never losing contact with her. "I'm not saying that I know what's best for you. I'm not saying that you need to take my advice, and I'm definitely not telling you what to do… But as your husband, as the man who loves you - I just want to protect you… And Smudge," he finished placing a hand on her belly.

"I'm not made of glass Matt," she reminded him, "I'm pregnant - people have been doing this for years and surviving perfectly well."

"I'm sure that pregnant women haven't been juggling half the things that you have. And Gabby trust me, I am so proud of you and everything that I know you are capable of. But I just want you to take a step back and think of everything that you are doing, that's it."

"Do you hear what you are saying, Matt? You're telling me to slow down when you promised that you would let me decide," Gabby reminded him of the many conversations they had had in the past.

Matt smiled widely, there was nothing that he would be able to get past her. Thinking on his feet, he took the same course of action and reminded her of his side of that bargain. Two could play that card, he thought to himself. "Yes Gabby, but do you also remember that I said I would step in if I thought I needed to?" He pushed a stray piece of hair out of her eyes and leant forward to brush a soft kiss across her lips.

"I've got this; I feel fine… Great even," she gave him a wide smile as she pulled back from the kiss. She knew what he was doing, romancing her into submission.

"Baby… Think about Smudge!" As the words left Matt's mouth, he instantly regretted them. Gabby's eyes turned to thunder as she pulled out of his embrace.

"What did you just say Matt?" the accusatory tone evident in her voice. "Did you just imply that I wouldn't think of my baby… That I wouldn't ever think to put Smudge's safety before everything… Think very carefully before you speak again Matthew Casey."

"I didn't mean it like that Babe," Matt tried to back peddle.

"Really?" huffed Gabby, "So what are you trying to say then? That you care more about Smudge than me?" her eyes continued to flash over with anger, almost daring him to disagree with her.

"Babe," Matt started to get more irritated as the minutes ticked by. It was as if Gabby just wasn't listening to anything that he was saying. All he wanted was for her to take a step back. It wasn't that he wanted her to stop working altogether. "I just want you to stop working so hard."

It was evidently these were worst possible words that could have come out of Matt's mouth. "So what you're telling me…" Gabby started her eyes flashing with anger. "You just want me barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen don't you?" she hissed as she started to lift herself off the couch and away from him. Gabby was fuming, how could Matt even say such a thing. It felt like there was actually smoke pouring out of her ears.

"Gabby, don't be unreasonable," Matt tried to talk her down. "I never asked you to quit your job…"

"Quit my job?" she screeched. "Have you even noticed how it's changing for me?" she challenged.

Gabby struggled for a moment - she hadn't thought that everything would change like this and now she was cursing herself. Of course, everything was going to change, she was expecting a baby she wasn't that naive. Yet at the same time, she was a paramedic and a firefighter. She had trained for months to be able to climb ladders and run into buildings that were burning. She had done it for years. Even as a paramedic she had had to do that. And every day that she went to work at the academy she was assaulted by those memories, with especially strong ones coming back to haunt her when on the days that fires were lit. She didn't mean to feel it, but it was as if she was being reminded that she couldn't do any of this anymore.

And all of a sudden it hit her. How this was affecting Matt… None of this was affecting him. Matt's life wasn't changing right now, yeah it was going to change when the baby arrived. But right now, nothing! And without even meaning to, Gabby felt her anger rise and blood begin to boil. If she hadn't been pregnant her hormones wouldn't have been surging around her body and her mind wouldn't have been sending wacky signals. If she wasn't pregnant then Gabby would have been able to take a step back and likely notice that she was being somewhat unreasonable. But then again if she hadn't been pregnant then they wouldn't have even been having this conversation and she wouldn't be off Ambo, hell she might have even been back on a Truck at another company. But she couldn't think like that at all.

The problem was still at hand. Gabby was mad at Matt; he didn't understand what she was thinking. What she was feeling. Rounding on herself, she found Matt's piercing blue eyes on her, watching as she thought about was happening. Cold eyes that could bore straight into her heart. If Gabby was thinking straight, she would have seen the fear in his eyes. Earlier that night Matt might have been mad and scared about her, now he was fearful. Everyone knew how scary Gabby Dawson could be, Matt knew first hand what she was like when she was mad. And the pregnancy had tended to swing and play with her emotions. Yet tonight she noticed nothing, she was just angry now.

"You know what?" she started, her voice low and menacing. "You have no idea what this is like for me… And how would you ever know? You don't know what it's like to stand in front of a lecture hall full of students, all of these eyes on you expecting that you are amazing and have all the answers. You don't know what it's like to stand in front of fire candidates and have them question your every sentence just because you're a female… No Matt you don't, you're a truck lieutenant…"

"Gabs," Matt tried to reach out a hand in comfort. Gabby shook her head and jerked her hand away, rather wanting to place it over her belly as if to protect Smudge from the world. She kept marching on.

"You don't know what it's like not be able to stand for long enough to deliver a lecture or to be able to take any practical classes… Do you know that next week when I need to deliver a practical class where we have a series of emergencies to test their abilities in the field I have had to delegate it out to the surrounding houses? I even have your PIC coming in to deliver the heart attack victim scenario? And he's also overseeing the entire practical class... The man who took my job at 51 is now coming into do my job at the academy… That perfect man," she spat.

Matt was taken back. Never once had she been negative about Roger Sullivan actually, he had really never heard her say anything much about the man at all. The first night that Gabby had been introduced to the man taking over her PIC role at Molly's she had been all smiles and very welcoming. She had confided in him later that night that she hadn't been too surprised that they did bring in another PIC to the house, in fact she actually knew him from another house and had trusted him. Whilst at one point she had thought that Brett had been the right person to take charge, Boden had confided in her that time under another PIC would be better for Brett, especially at their busy house. They needed someone to take charge and make snap decisions, and maybe Brett just needed a bit more support in reaching that peak.

"And can you imagine how it must feel when you can't do your job anymore? That it feels like the life is being sucked out of you? Something is stopping me doing my job… Stopping _me!"_

"It was your choice Gabby," reminded Matt. "You made that call to move to the Academy."

"I never really got that choice Matt, where was I going to go? I wasn't going to be able to stay on Ambo for much longer. If I had your blood pressure would have gone through the roof. So, no I didn't get the choice. I had to give up my job, the job that I loved. A job… No not a job. I had to give up two jobs that I love doing, jobs that I am damn good at."

Matt was taken back from what he was hearing. A look of shock settled over his face, never would he have ever thought he would be hearing this from his wife. "What are you trying to say Gabby? That you don't want a baby?" Matt cut back, stunned at what he was hearing.

"That's not what I said, stop trying to put words in my mouth Matthew."

But Matt was on a roll, "Well it's a bit late to be thinking about this Gabby," he sniped at her. "I mean what's even the point, Gabriela? Why didn't you ever say something before? You've always seemed like you wanted a child… we spoke about this…" he trailed off looking the other way. "You don't get to say that you want this and then suddenly think that it's all too hard and want to back out or even to put this all on me."

Gabby squeezed her eyes shut, hoping to stop the tears that were forming. She silently cursed the hormones that were coursing through her making her even feel emotional, never in the past would she had ever been teary in a situation like this. Angry and shouting would have been the norm in the past.

But Matt didn't notice the lone tear that slipped down her cheek, he was just hurt and was letting all the anger out.

"I thought you were past this Gabby. I thought you were finally on board with having a baby. After all the fear that you had when we first found out… I thought you were over it all. I thought that you wanted this baby…" Matt's voice caught ever so slightly

"How dare you," she spat back at. "How could you even say anything like that? After everything that we went through to get to this point? After Louie? After losing our baby. How DARE you… You don't know what it was like to finally be pregnant. And how scared I was of this baby? How did I know if my body was even capable of making healthy babies?" she sobbed. Matt lurched forward to pull her in for a hug, but Gabby was having none of it. Pushing him away, Gabby slid into the corner of the couch, sniffing and trying to calm her breathing down. "Don't touch me," she warned as her breathing normalised. "You have this perfect idea in your head about what our family is going to be like and did you ever stop once and think what might have happened if this hadn't turned out okay? I bet you didn't. Matt I couldn't allow myself to believe that we would some day be holding our own little baby in my arms, because what if it didn't happen… _again_ ," her voice cracking slightly. "My heart wouldn't have ever been able to recover from that… I couldn't take that heartbreak again Matt… I don't think we would ever recover from that," she quietly finished.

Gabby leant back into the couch allowing the cushions to envelop her and let her mind wander. Everything that would never have bothered her in the past suddenly was rearing its ugly head and reminding her of how mad she truly was. And at the forefront of her mind was the night she had come home after a very long night at the Academy.

 _*Flashback*_

 _It had been a long day at the Academy and Gabby had decided to stay late that night even though she knew that Matt would be at home waiting for her. There was paperwork piling up on her desk, so much so that she didn't think that she would even be able to lift it all off of her desk and take it home. So after shooting a text message off to Matt she had settled in and managed to work through it all so much faster than she had first anticipated._

 _Somehow she had managed to make her way through the door and place everything into the study without alerting Matt that she had even arrived home. Pausing in the rarely used dining room doorway Gabby gazed at Matt who had a glass of wine in his hand flicking through what Gabby knew would be some CFD file. Gabby could never quite believe the amount of work both Matt and Severide managed to bring home when they all still shared that apartment. And nothing had changed over the year, Matt was still bringing home file after file. It made her think back to the time when they were staying in the apartment over Herrmann's garage. She remembered how after they would put Louie to bed every so often they would share a bottle of wine, her reading a book, him with his paperwork whether it be firefighting related or something else._

 _And the memory tugged at her heartstrings. Those quiet nights gazing at their little boy calmly sleeping, she could never quite believe that he was really there. Running a hand over her stomach and letting it rest over on the underside of her belly she allowed herself to truly believe that in a matter of weeks she and Matt would be doing that again. Well, maybe not sharing the bottle of red wine, but at least standing in that nursery gazing at their little Smudge snoozing away._

 _*End flashback*_

Matt with a glass of red wine - the image came slamming back into her mind with full force. It wasn't often that Matt would even have wine, Gabby was sure she could count the amount of time he had had one alone on a single hand. Nothing was changing for him!

"Can you even imagine how it feels to watch you walk out the door in that light grey shirt with those bugles on every shift? You can't can you?"

"What?" questioned Matt confused. He still couldn't actually pinpoint down what is was that Gabby was mad about. It seemed like it was everything that she was mad about. There was, however, some small voice in the back of his mind telling him that it wasn't just about him questioning her need to work so much. No, this was something much bigger than his one comment. "Do you want me to get changed at work like I used to?"

But Gabby continued on as if Matt had never spoken. "Or that I know in a few weeks you will need your dress blues. You can't imagine how I feel to watch on as you need them ironed for you, and I'll be that person. Because I'm your wife and I'll iron them even though it will be tearing me up inside seeing you in that crisp white shirt, being the person who will straighten your tie and make sure your name plate is on just right…"

"Gabs, you wear a white shirt to work every day," Matt interrupted, completely confused at what she was getting at.

"But it's not that same," a sole tear started to descend down Gabby's cheek as she roughly wiped it away. She wasn't going to get teary about this again, she wouldn't give Matt the satisfaction.

"Do you remember years ago telling me that this, this firefighting thing, it's just a job and what we have is everything? You stood in Molly's and looked me in the eye and told me that we were everything. I need you to believe that. It's just a job Gabby," Matt pleaded.

"Nothing has changed for you Matt," she voiced. "Nothing in this pregnancy…" Rationally she knew that this wasn't true, but it still didn't stop her lashing out at Matt using her words to hurt him so she wouldn't feel as vulnerable. "I'm the one who got sick, I'm the one who was scared for the first 12 weeks worried that something would go wrong and I would have to live through that gut wrenching experience of having surgery again - one where I would have to wake up and feel empty again. ME! I'm the one who ended up in Chicago Med with bruises. I'm the one who had to change jobs and face all of the whispers through the academy hallways and the sideways glances. I'm the one who has had to prove herself just because I'm pregnant. When you and Severide step into any one of those classes you command a respect, one that should be extended to me. But instead, I'm second guessed because I'm a female and a paramedic. Someone who is seen as second class in the CFD because of it…"

"Whoa," Matt's hands when up defensively. "I've never ever thought of you like that…"

"So why were you so eager for me to move off of Truck?" she snapped.

"You made that decision Gabby. Not me," he harshly reminded her, his anger beginning to bubble again.

"You haven't had to change anything Matt Casey. You are still in the familiar surroundings of 51 with all of our friends. You are the one that hasn't changed a thing, still comfortable in your lieutenant's office. Leading your crew on 81, shouting out orders, running into buildings, finishing reports, working 24 hour shifts. Without a care in the world. Nothing has changed for you, nothing! I was moved on." Matt noticed, even in his own anger, that Gabby was starting to become more hysterical. There was no way to bring her back at the moment, she just needed to get everything out of her system, no matter how harsh it was for him to hear. "I was the one who was moved out of 51 and onto somewhere else. If it hadn't been to the academy, then I still would have had to move. On top of everything else. ME, I am the one that has suffered through all of this. _ME_. I'm the one who feels tired by lunchtime, who can't stand up who more than twenty minutes at work. I'm the one who seems to struggle to fit into her uniform every second day. Remember when I had to wear your shirt? Can you even begin to understand how mortifying that whole situation was for me? No! Of course, you can't!"

Matt stared at her for a moment and Gabby could swear that she could see the wheels turning in his mind trying desperately hard to work out what she was saying. After watching him for a few more moments in silence she threw her hands up in surrender, "You know what? I'm done Matt…"

"Gabby," Matt turned in his seat and grabbed her wrist as Gabby started to walk past. There was no way that he was going to let his wife go to bed angry. Hormones were running high and whilst he wasn't too sure what the right thing to say really was, he had to at least try. It was this that was making their marriage different to their 'dating' relationship. In the past Matt would have let her just run off and he would get angry. But it needed to be different now, they were a family - he needed to work this out with her. Tugging at her arm slightly he eased her down so he was able to face her. Slowly he started to run his hand up and down her shoulder and arm gently, all the while thinking of the words he might have for her.

But Gabby was having nothing of it. Just as quickly as she had sat down, she was up again. This time Matt let her go. He sighed as his fist came down on the back of the couch making a satisfying thump. Sitting for a while, tapping his finger on the soft material, Matt could hear the sound of Gabby storming up the stairs, her shoes colliding with the wooden floor. After resting his head in his hands for a few more moments Matt made up his mind. He wasn't going to let Gabby run away from him again, run away from their problems. They had both spent far too much time hiding in the past. Now wasn't the time for it. They needed to fix their problems like adults. Matt smiled wryly to himself as he heard the bedroom door slam shut, well if he had to stand outside the door and talk to his wife, that's exactly what he was going to do.

However, he was surprised to find their bedroom door locked when he arrived a few seconds later.

"Gabby, come on… Open the door, let me in," Matt pleaded. Nothing, there was nothing that he could say. "Gabby," he started again, pausing to take in a deep steadying breath, leaning his head on the wooden door. "Gabs, I'm begging you… I'm sorry…" Matt stopped for a moment, trying to find the words that might be able to talk his wife down. He had never been any good with words, everyone at the house would attest to that. Thinking back to their wedding, he thought of the words that had poured out of him, those non-traditional vows that Gabby had had her heart on.

Bringing a hand up to place on the door near his head, Matt continued, "Gabby Baby, I'm sorry. I never wanted to control you. And I never wanted you to think that you didn't care about Smudge. And I would never say that you didn't want a baby. Gabby please," he begged. "I know that you want nothing more than to protect Smudge, and Baby believe me that there is nothing more in life that I want to do than protect both of you. And part of protecting Smudge is protecting you. While it's your body protecting Smudge that's my job…"

Gabby felt a hot tear run down her cheek as she too leant her head against the door. She wanted to be mad at Matt, but how could she when all she could hear were those sweet honest words from that precious man. Sliding a hand to rest on the door handle, she heard Matt continue. "I know that you would never do anything intentionally to put our baby in danger. But it's part of my job as Daddy," his voice caught at his new title, "... as Daddy to Smudge to make sure that his Mommy is safe too. And Baby you can do anything that you want, you're so capable, but as a Dawson and a Casey you're never going to stop. Baby, me wanting you to slow down isn't about the fact that I don't think you're capable, it's about me being your husband and wanting to protect you at all costs… And protecting him… Baby please, let me in."

Slowly the door opened and he watched Gabby disappear over to the small couch that sat in their large bedroom. Matt paused to allow her time to settle down on the piece of furniture that had been in the living room of their first apartment. That couch had seen some of their worst and best times, for better or for worse. And whilst this most definitely wasn't their worse that they had spoken about in their vows, it certainly wasn't a pleasant time. It was just a misunderstanding. It was a small bump in their road that Herrmann had predicted would happen, especially with a fiery and strong personality that both he and Gabby possessed.

Once he could see that she made herself comfortable on the couch, he quickly lowered himself down next to her. He was surprised to see that she wasn't sporting red eyes having thought he had heard crying through the door. Running a warm hand up and down her arm, he grasped her elbow and took a deep breath. Upon hearing it Gabby turned her body towards him, knowing that it was time that they at least started to talk about this. He needed to let her know that he was right here, beside her, support her.

"Gabriela..." he quietly spoke up watching as Gabby turned her face away causing him to hook a finger under her chin trying to gently pull her to face him. "Gabriela Casey," he took in her wide teary brown eyes, she melted into him slightly more as she heard the low timbre of his voice calling her by her full name. He knew that it would make her weak at the knees. "...At the end of a shift my uniform comes off, my wedding ring doesn't," he reinforced to her as he gently ran a finger down her cheek. Taking her hands into his much larger ones he started playing with the diamond of her engagement ring. "My wedding ring, it's still on my finger, Gabby. That ring, it's stayed on from when you slid it onto my finger. When you did that - it became an outward expression of my love and loyalty to you. It is a promise for forever… My bugle is not that Gabby."

Gabby sniffed slightly, trying in vain to control her breathing. Matt noticing this stood and slipped behind her. It was something that had become so much more natural to them now, he was now able to tap her on the shoulder and then slide in, drawing her back to his chest. Slowly Gabby slid down the couch and manoeuvred her head across his heart. Taking a deep breath, she started to sync her breathing in time with his heartbeat.

Matt wasn't too sure how long that they sat in silence, he simply enjoyed having Gabby in his arms listening to her breathing even out. His hands soon joined hers on the belly with her hands sitting lightly at the top and his hands cupping the underside, enjoying the occasional thump he felt. It never seemed to stop being an amazing experience for him, almost as if he was feeling the spark for the first time all over again.

Matt had been sure she had fallen asleep but just wasn't willing to move her to bed just in case. So when she spoke in such a soft tone that he almost missed it. "I just feel like I've disappeared behind my bump," she confessed, mumbling into Matt's shirt.

"Hmm?" Matt murmured in reply not wanting to break the peace that was finally between them. Gabby lifted her head upwards without ever breaking contact.

"I feel like who I am, the actual essence of me has been lost. All I am now is 'that pregnant lecturer with the CFD' and nothing more," she explained. Matt gave her a soft smile encouraging her to continue talking whilst brushing her hair out of her face, looping it behind her ears. The best thing he could do now was let her speak. "No one asks how I am anymore, no one seems to care what I'm interested in or what I'm doing now. Everything has been replaced by 'is everything okay with the baby?' And people just don't remember that I still exist in a role that is separate from a pregnant woman… It frustrates me, Matt. I've disappeared behind my bump. What do people see when they look at me? A mother. Matt I've wanted this for so long. Everything that we've been through I wouldn't change it for the world, and I wouldn't change anything over the last 25 weeks since we found about our growing family. But I still need to be Gabby Casey. I still need to know that I can do my job once Smudge is here - that I'm still going to be able to jump in for a shift on Truck, that I'm still going to be able to control a scene as a PIC. That not all of who I am will be Smudge's mother…" she tried to explain, looking down unable to look her husband in the eyes for the fear that she would see hurt and resentment in them.

Matt paused for a moment, wondering what it was he could say to make this better. Not everything could be solved with words and reassurances but the fact that Gabby had even given her fears a voice was a start. "No Baby, it's okay to feel like that. Everything in our lives is changing and it's okay to be scary. I know because I am too. Smudge is so lucky to have you, you're going to be an amazing mother because you're an amazing wife. Let me love you Gabby… Let me take this one… Let me be your husband."

 _~ His skin is still wrinkly, but as fat accumulates, he will fill out ~_

* * *

 **So here it was, a chapter a term later and a smidge under 8500 words. I really hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you think!**

 **Reminder – I'm hoping that it's not too long a wait, I would love if I could have more chapters for the end of Season Five. Honestly I had planned to get the rest of the chapters written and then go back to posting once a week, but it just hasn't happened. You might have been waiting another six months for that :D**


	28. Week 30 - Breathless

**Well, what a finale to Season Five we had. I think I've think I've only just recovered from that last scene. I'm so very sure that Casey will be okay ~ and that's what I'm staying with for the next few months.**

 **Thank you for all the reviews and to those who let me know what their favourite lines were. Mine was '** _ **at the end of a shift my uniform comes off, my wedding ring doesn't'**_ **. Like I've said before it's one of my favourite lines that I've written.**

 **Hope you enjoy this chapter… As always thanks to Rebecca for editing and bouncing ideas. Looking forward more interesting conversations over the hiatus R x**

 **Oh and Megan - you owe me something :D In between marking, writing reports, parent-teacher interviews and upper school exams - here is a chapter! I will accept chocolate, hugs... or even Jesse :P**

* * *

 _Week Thirty_

 _~ Candidate is the size of a large cabbage ~_

Matt wasn't sure how he managed to make it through to the next week, but somehow he did. They had. It was still hard after last week, but it was day by day; moment by moment. That one conversation on the couch in their bedroom hadn't been a magic bullet that had fixed everything. Matt had promised to support Gabby every step of the way. And Gabby had opened up instead of running away, but even the simple explanation of feeling sidelined hadn't solved their problems.

So without meaning to, their lives had become slightly tense. And they had both kept reminding themselves that one conversation was not going to solve and fix everything. Gabby had found herself staying an extra few minutes at the Academy and Matt found himself taking his time coming back from the house, or staying longer moments at Alderman meetings. Both were scared of what could happen, what might really be happening right now?

For Gabby, it was scary to think that it wasn't going to be long before they meet their child. And for all the dreaming and praying for their child, for this family, for the child that she and Matt had created, it was going to become a reality soon. It didn't seem to matter what had come before, their first angel or even Louie. And that worried her. It was those thoughts that had jolted her awake that particular morning. She felt guilty, how was it that everything was going to be fine? She didn't feel like she should have been able to be happy. All of a sudden was it okay to be wanting this baby; was she betraying them by wanting this? Was she allowed to be happy? Her hormones were doing a number on her.

All in though, those fears that she had been feeling since she saw the little plus sign on that plastic stick. Those fears had been slowly fading, they had been fading at a snail's pace. But even into her third trimester she still had a feeling that something was going to go wrong, something seriously wrong.

A groan from her left caused her to shake off whatever it was that she was feeling. Gabby slowly removed the many pillows that surrounded her and propped herself up over to her left side, trying to ease a pillow between her legs, it had seemed to fall out during some point of the night. A feat that was easier said than done. Her belly was starting to become a fair bit larger. Stella had joked a number of weeks ago that she looked like she had swallowed a basketball, having a neat little round ball of a belly. But over the last few days she had started to fill out, making her look the thirty weeks pregnant that she was. Matt had laughed at her last night when she complained about it. You wouldn't have even been able to tell that she was pregnant from behind, even if she had started to waddle when she was tired at the end of the day. But Matt wasn't going to be telling her that – the couch wouldn't be comfortable enough to sleep on and he knew that that was going to be the punishment if he ever mentioned it.

"Hey," Matt whispered, the sleep still very evident in his voice. Rubbing his face trying to invigorate life into himself, he stretched out his arms. "Hey…" Matt reached out to brush a hair out of her face, "What's going on in that head of yours?" he questioned. Gabby gave him a weak smile. "Hey, don't be like that, I can see those wheels turning."

Matt propped himself up onto an elbow, resting his head in a hand and staring as Gabby tried to find a comfortable position in the bed. With only 10 weeks left, Gabby had been mentioning that she was starting to feel much more uncomfortable, mentioning regularly… well it was more like complaining but she would never admit that to anyone. After watching her shuffle for a few moments more, Matt decided that a few more pillows would help, but he couldn't seem to find them. Rolling out of bed, he found them scattered on the floor.

Gabby was still wriggling around on the spot trying to find some place that was comfortable. With a concerned look on his face, he helped her into a more upright position his hand ghosting over her belly feeling the now familiar thump. Easing her forward slightly Matt was able to wedge a folded up pillow behind her back, hopefully giving her the support she needed. Under her knees went the pregnancy pillow that Herrmann had given them. As he made his way back towards his side of the bed, he noticed Gabby's hands racing to her belly, a wince ghosting over her features.

Upon the questioning look that Matt shot her, Gabby sighed, letting her head fall back onto the pillow. "Smudge is just being active, taking after their father…" she joked.

Matt gave her a wry smile as he climbed back into bed, sliding down further than he normally would. Carefully and quickly he pushed up her pyjama top to just below her bust. She shivered slightly as the cold air hit her bare belly. A grin spread across his face as he lay his head against her belly and a warm hand on the other side.

"Hey little man," he whispered against her belly. Smudge, hearing Matt's voice, wriggled in the direction of his voice and kicked him in the cheek. "Hey, hey, hey none of that," he chided softly, rubbing his thumb across her taut skin.

Gabby laughed softly as his warm breath tickled her skin, allowing her hand to tangle into his hair scratching his scalp lightly. These moments were starting to appear more and more regularly and she loved them. Gabby allowed her eyes to flutter shut as her listened to Matt continue chatting.

"Now my boy, you need to settle down in there," he continued to whisper. "Your Mama's just a bit tired. And you're not making it easy for her. I'm sure you'll do plenty of that for both of us when you arrive, keeping both of us up," he joked. "You've just got to settle down a little bit… That's right, shhh… you've just got to get some sleep. Mama and Daddy just want some sleep, so how about you play along kiddo and help us out there? You know what? We can't wait to meet you, your Mama, I and all your family... everyone's excited to meet you… But not just yet, you've still got some baking to do..." Slowly the kicking and the rolling slowed down and Gabby's eyes popped open and her head lulled forward in his direction.

"So if you could do that every night, that would be fantastic," she moaned slightly. "I swear the minute I lay down for bed, Smudge starts up… I spent hours walking at work yesterday and nothing…"

"Hours?" Matt interrupted, stunned by what he was hearing. Only last week she was complaining about not being able to really cope at work, the hours on her feet tiring her out… truthfully anything more than an hour tiring her out.

"Yeah, we were doing practical simulations and…"

" _Practical_ simulations?" he asked incredulously, not quite believing it. "Gabby, you're 30 weeks pregnant. You shouldn't be doing practical stuff, they have other paramedics for that, Babe."

"Hey," she whispered, a sole finger running down his cheek forcing his chin up to look at her. Grasping his firm jaw, she tugged slightly compelling him to move his way up her body to brush a kiss on her lips, a warm hand never leaving her belly. "Hey, I was fine. No, I was amazing. My feet didn't hurt, I was in the zone. I was back in action Baby." She pulled his chin in for a searing kiss. "And not once did Smudge kick up a storm. I think Smudge liked it, all the action," she grinned.

Matt smiled as he brushed the hair out of her face. Maybe this was good for her, she did have a beaming smile across her face that he honestly hadn't seen in a while. The 'firefighter action' smile. He remembered the first time he saw it after he saw her coming out a burning building for the very first time.

"Did you know?" he started after a while, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between them. "Did you know that we're down to single digit weeks?"

"That's pretty amazing, isn't it? Sorta scary too," she confessed. "I still remember that night coming home from Molly's when you reminded me about double digit days…"

The silence settled back over them. "Matt?" came Gabby's unsure voice. His hands came to rest over her belly, a thumb rubbing back and forth a silent encouragement to continue with her words. "Do you ever think we're going to be able to do it all? In three – four months after Smudge arrives, will I be able to go back to work?"

"Work?" Matt enquired, not sure what he was going to actually say to her.

"Yeah, the CFD… remember them?" she teased slightly. "What do we do when I have to go back and work those 24 hour shifts? How do I leave my baby for 24 hours?"

"Ambo?" Gabby nodded slowly, almost shyly. She was loving her stint at the academy but there was no way she would ever be able to handle a desk job.

"I love the rush too much," she admitted. "And that doesn't make me a bad mother does it?" Matt grabbed her hands quickly and shook his head.

"No, it doesn't. Gabby I know it's going to be a struggle. And we'll have to find some way to balance our careers with kids. But I know we'll find a way."

* * *

Casey sat back in his desk chair after a long shift. It didn't ever matter how he shifted and turned, there was never a comfortable position in this chair. Severide stopped in his doorway, watching his friend click away on his laptop scribing a few notes here and there. Casey had obviously thought everyone from their shift had left and 3rd watch was out already. Normally Severide would have been out of there too, but Kidd had been taking her time in the locker room that he had decided to collect his laundry.

"Hey!" Severide called out, stifling a snort as Casey jumped slightly and pushed his laptop away. "What the hell are you looking at? You know that you're still at work. Your wife might not be here… but still…"

"Nothing…" Casey replied turning around to face this friend. "Nothing!" he insisted as Severide's eyes bore into him. The two lieutenants started what only could be described as a staring competition, neither of them willing to back down.

Finally, Severide made a lunge for the laptop, as Casey managed to shut the lid just in time. "Honestly Severide!"

"Just wondering what might be keeping you here – staring at your laptop," prodded Severide.

Casey sighed, knowing that Severide was never going to leave him alone until he found out what was going on, "I'm looking for a holiday spot so I can take Gabby away."

"Babymoon?" Kidd's voice joined in the conversation, popping up from behind Severide. "Awesome idea Casey…"

"Babymoon?" Severide questioned, the unfamiliar word uncomfortably rolling off of his tongue. Kidd gave him a slight shove and took a seat on Casey's bunk. Severide and Casey exchanged a glance, surprised that Kidd was making herself comfortable in her own lieutenant's office, Casey wasn't sure if she had ever completely entered his office before. But here she was, sitting on his bunk, eyes sparkling with excitement.

Casey shrugged slightly before continuing "I know that our lives are going to be changing… And there's nothing that I can do to stop that, not that I want to. But I want to do something for Gabby, before it all changes for us. We all know that it's going to be the biggest change for her," confessed Casey.

"Leave some of that planning with me," Kidd pleaded. "Brett and I can go shopping and pack her bag for Gabby. Leave it to me. Are you going somewhere warm?" Kidd didn't even allow Casey to confirm if that was even his plan. "You should really take her somewhere warm, it's a hellhole here in Chicago – freezing cold. Give her a chance to get some vitamin D and soak up all that sun. I'll pack everything for her – you'd forget something. I've got it all under control Lieutenant."

"Guess we're going somewhere warm," muttered Casey to Severide with a low chuckle.

Severide nodded in agreement, "No stopping her when she's got an idea," he confirmed.

* * *

Matt walked into the reception area of Gaffney Chicago Medical Centre, eyes forward intently looking for someone. Maggie glanced over to catch his eyes and raised an eyebrow.

"Matt what can I do for you?" she questioned. "No Gabby this time?" she joked carefully. Every time she had seen the firefighter recently, Gabby had been attached to him, so it was nice to see that hopefully, he wasn't here for some sort of problem.

"No," he answered sheepishly. "But if you could maybe not mention that you've seen me the next time she's in, that would be great."

Maggie screwed up her face and gave him a hard stare trying to work out what was going on here. "What's happening Matt?"

"I'm looking for Natalie Manning; I just have a few questions. And I can't get to see our OB, especially without Gabby finding out… No, no, nothing is wrong," he cut the charge nurse off seeing her open her mouth ready to say something. "I just want to organise something for Gabby and I need to know what is and isn't possible."

Maggie gave him a sideways look and motioned towards the doctor's room where she knew that Natalie was having a break in. "Come on then Dad, let's get some of those questions answered." Maggie went to open the door, her hand resting on the door handle. "Actually," she started thinking about the fact she was sure she had seen Will Halstead sneak into the room earlier, two coffees in hand. Wisely she knocked on the door first. Will stuck his head out not a moment or two later, his hair suspiciously more mussed than normal. Matt gave him a knowing half smile as the red-head slipped past the pair.

Maggie managed to keep a straight face and not make any comment to either doctor as she inserted herself into the small room. "Nat?" she called out, "have you got a few moments to answer a few questions from nervous Daddy firefighter here?"

Matt chuckled at the title as Natalie smiled and waved him in. "What can I help with Matt?"

"This is all top secret Natalie and I need to you to promise that you won't tell Gabby." Upon Natalie's nod of confirmation, he continued. "I know you and Gabby are friends and have been talking throughout the pregnancy. I'm sure she's shared some things with you including the fears… We've had a bit of a rough patch with the whole becoming parents thing and I've been doing some research. I was planning on surprising her with a holiday, just getting away from the cold Chicago and spending some time just the two of us before the baby arrives. So logically I want to know if it's possible, but I haven't been able to get a hold of Dr. Peterson," Matt confessed.

Natalie's eyes lit up as Matt was explaining his idea. She was sure that Gabby would be excited once she found out and she would never have believed that the firefighter who she had watched come into the ER over the years could be such a romantic.

"Let me see if I can contact Dr. Peterson. I think she's at the hospital today, she might be able to spare a few moments to answer your questions," she assured him. "Just sit tight and I'll be back."

Matt glanced nervously around the space that he was currently occupying. May be this wasn't a good idea – he and Gabby needed to get away but at the same time had he left it too late? It wasn't like he wanted to leave the country or anything. Just leave Chicago, it was always cold in February – but it had seemed below average colder this year. Gabby had spent the afternoon bragging about how carrying Smudge was just like carrying around her own personal space heater, just a few days ago. And reminded him that the next time they fell pregnant he better get his timing right again, because there was no way she was going to feel like this during summer. Unconsciously he felt a grin spread across his face as he thought about their ever growing family, the first baby wasn't even here and Gabby was already thinking and talking about expanding their family more. Three years ago he would have never thought this possible, but yet here he was thinking of not just Smudge, but more children. So he didn't even hear the door open and Natalie slipped back in.

"So," she started shaking Matt out of his little daydream. "I've just spoken to Dr. Peterson, she's on her way down from Maternity to answer any questions and give better advice on your case then I possible could. But there are going to be questions that I need to ask Gabby," Natalie started seriously. As sweet as it was that Matt had decided to do something for his wife, the paediatrician had wished that he had maybe thought of this a few weeks ago.

"Ask away," Matt replied confidently. "I'm sure that everything you need to know, I've got a pretty good idea."

"You've got a pretty good idea about what?" Clara Peterson's voice entered the space. Both Matt and Natalie looked up in surprise. "What? It's not that long a trip down... Now Matt Casey – what is it that you know or need? I missed you at Gabby's appointment last week."

"Sorry," Matt hung his head slightly. He had meant to make her 30 week appointment, even if it had been a week early. But the only appointment that Gabby had been able to make around everything that was going on with their lives was during one of his shifts and he had been out at a high rise building fire.

"Don't do that," Clara comforted, "She explained what the situation was. Look, I've seen many expectant fathers miss scans and appointments for a variety of reasons, but, Matt, you had a pretty damn good reason. Now…" she drawled out as she scouted out the coffee situation here. "What is it that I can do for you?"

Quickly and as succinctly as possible Matt explained what he wanted to do for Gabby. Clara tapped her fingers against the table thoughtfully, pondering what she should do, what would be the best course of action to take with him.

"So you're thinking of putting her on a plane?" Upon Matt's nod of confirmation, Clara pursed her lips thoughtfully. "So how are things at home – exhaustion and all of that?"

"I think she's going okay. We were talking about it, how it's all been going with Smudge. And she seems fine. She has been mentioning that she is finding it hard with the growing bump. I did watch her try and bend over at the academy a few days ago when I went to pick her up. There is finally an admittance that yes she's finding it a little harder to get up from sitting on the couch. But I think she's okay… Yet?" he questioned his brow furrowing at the thought.

"Breathlessness?" Natalie interrupted. She had been listening to Matt talk, thinking back to when she was at that point in her pregnancy. As she looked back up she found two sets of inquiring eyes staring at her, questions in both of them. "Don't get me wrong Matt, this is such a nice thing to do for Gabby. I'm just remembering how I was feeling at thirty weeks. Just when I thought everything was going well, and I was starting to get used to my breathlessness, and everything else, so MUCH changed _again_. With my ever-growing baby bump, I found it really hard to bend over, or get up from sitting on the couch. And God forbid I ever dropped something that needed to be picked up. I was so afraid I would just topple on over, and roll like a log. Or a ball. April and Maggie became my official 'pick everything and anything up for Dr. Manning people'," Natalie smiled at the memory. "I also remember being extremely exhausted _all the time_. I felt like my tired-level from the first trimester had been multiplied by a billion. And compared to my second trimester, my third trimester was a constant changing level of tiredness… Just a few bits to think about," she advised.

"I did notice last week that she was breathless storming from the kitchen to the living room. But she was storming fairly fast," Matt confessed.

"So how far are you thinking of going Matt?" Dr. Peterson interrupted.

"Florida – I thought somewhere warm would be perfect, especially in our weather," he reasoned. "It's not too far, around 2 hours if we fly. If we had to drive it would be 18 hours. I did some research and I know that she's still within the limits of being able to fly at 30 weeks. And I think 18 hours would just be too much for her. The sitting for that long would kill her hips and back. Look if it's too much, I can organise something here in Chicago," conceded Matt finally. He hung his head, an agonising pain flooding his heart. He just wanted to do something nice for her, for the two of them before their lives completely changed.

"It's fine Matt. I examined her last week, I'm happy to clear her to fly. If I'm honest, I would have preferred that you had this idea a few weeks ago whilst she was still in her second trimester, but what are you going to do? I'll write the letter up clearing her to fly. You might need it, it will just depend on the airline company… Just a few days, a week at the most?" Upon the confirming nod from Matt. "I'll get it to you."

* * *

Not three days later Antonio was unlocking the Casey's front door. "Gabs," hollered Antonio from the door. "Come on! We need to go. I've got reservations."

"Keep your hair on 'Tonio," teased Gabby as she picked up her handbag. "Where are we even going?"

"Mama and Papá are coming home early…" lied Antonio easily, ready to help his brother-in-law out with anything he needed. "Mama wanted to come home to make sure that she's nearby, should you need anything."

Gabby scoffed as she locked the door behind her. "She does know that I'm not due for another 10 weeks right?"

"She's just worried Gabby. She's our mother, she wouldn't have it any other way. Now come on, we don't want to keep them waiting," he reminded her, pressing a kiss to her temple before helping her into his truck. In hindsight, it might have been easier on her to take her car. It was much lower to the ground and easier to slide in and out of, but Matt had already parked it at the airport.

Gabby gave him a smirk as he slid easily into his own seat. She had plans to just sit on the couch and do nothing today. She had plans with the television and a warm blanket. There had been much going on in her life this week, meaning she didn't have lessons to plan for or any marking to do. So when Antonio rang and said she had to be ready to pick their parents up, she had protested loudly. But big brother had pulled rank and now here they were in Antonio's truck. Gabby grumbled softly as the truck pulled out of her driveway.

* * *

"Antonio," Gabby started as they walked towards the entrance of O'Hara. "This is departures, not arrivals. And did they even fly Southwest?" she questioned looking at the signs around her. "I mean what kind of detective are you if you confuse the two?" she teased.

Antonio laughed along with her, all the while scanning the lounge for Matt. "Wow, you're mean now that you're pregnant… Well meaner," he qualified. Feeling the buzz of his cell, he whipped it out to find a message blinking from Matt. Apparently, they were all checked in and he was waiting for them at Starbucks near the departure lounge. "Come on, I've got a surprise for you."

Gabby stopped short in her tracks as a familiar blonde came into view. "'Tonio?" she gasped slightly. Antonio curled a hand around her arm and allowed his other arm to come around her waist just in case. She did seem unsteady on her feet and u[on feeling the strong arm around her, Gabby lent into her brother's chest slightly. Matt slowly made his way out of his chair, shooting her a rare dazzling grin, lighting up his face and making his eyes crinkle with joy, causing her heart to flutter.

Antonio turned his body and angled it into her, "You have an amazing husband Gabby. Don't fight him and let him look after you. Don't you go all Dawson on him," he laughed.

"Takes one to know one," she retorted as Matt arrived in front of them. "What's all this Babe?" her eyes were starting to shine with the tears that had sprung out of nowhere.

"You and me… A plane… And a holiday away from the cold wintery Chicago," he told her as Antonio transferred her into his waiting arms. "Here," he told her, handing her a bag. "Stella packed your carry on. There's a causal dress in there that she said you might like to wear on the plane."

"But I don't have anything… I need to work this week," she stuttered.

"Don't worry about it," he reassured her with a quick press to the temple. "Now go get ready, we need to be on that plane soon."

"But I'm thirty weeks pregnant," she gestured down at herself. "There's no way that I will be able to fly…" she complained, thinking that Matt wouldn't have taken the entire situation into account. "And my ankles."

"All taken care of," assured Antonio, pulling out a pair of sandals. "Kidd passed these over when I saw her last night at Molly's."

"And I've spoken to Natalie and Doctor Peterson. Even have the clearance letter for you to fly. I know the safest time to travel is 18-24 weeks, but believe me I've spoken to both doctors and according to them, whilst the second trimester may be the best time to travel, that doesn't mean you can't travel during the rest of your pregnancy… Now do you want to get out of this winter or what?"

Gabby looked from her husband to her brother and back again. She carefully flung her arms around her brother's neck in thanks before dashing off as fast as she could towards the bathrooms.

* * *

Matt stood in the aisle watching Gabby settle herself down into the extremely hard and uncomfortable chair. Bending down carefully he pushed his carry on luggage under her feet, loosening the loosening the straps on her sandals in the process.

"Here," he offered her a pillow that he had pulled from her bag. Gabby smiled gratefully as she moved forward hoping that Matt would know instinctively to place the pillow behind her back on the left side. And her husband was trained well; Matt fluffed it slightly and wedged it down to the small of her back. Taking his seat, Matt signalled to the air hostess for a blanket and pillow to pass on to her.

Once she managed to get the seatbelt low under her belly, Gabby let out a little sigh of happiness. Matt, smiling, draped the blanket over her legs.

"Matt?" Gabby whispered leaning her head against Matt's shoulder as the plane started to taxi down the runway. "Why are we doing this?"

He raised his eyebrows in return, "We need something for us," he explained. After watching her eyes flutter shut, his hand splayed across the growing expanse of her stomach, rubbing a thumb across the coarse material of theairplane blanket. "Rest now and we'll be there before you know it Gabs," he whispered against her template. Once he heard her breathing even out, after one last brush of her hair, Matt found his book that he had stored in Gabby's bag settling in to enjoy the flight and his book.

* * *

Gabby yawned when Matt gently rubbed her arm to wake her from the short nap she was taking in the time that it took from the airport to the hotel where they would be spending the next week. Her eyes widen as she took in the white water fountain and palm trees. If it was at all possible her chocolate eyes widen further still, glazing over at the extensive lobby of the Four Springs Resort.

"Matt this would have cost a fortune…" she whispered when Matt returned after checking them in, watching as their luggage was rolled away.

"Don't even thinking about it," came the confident reply. Pressing a finger to her lips to silence her ever ready to reply mouth. "Shh… We never had a chance to go on a honeymoon, so think of this as my way to spoil you just like I wanted to after we got married. Allow yourself to be spoilt like you deserve. We're about to have our lives changed forever, our hands are going to be full. Let's just enjoy our time together," he told her, pressing a kiss to her nose as they rode the lift up to the fourth floor.

Matt swiped the card to unlock the door and discreetly looked right and left down the hallway finding it empty. Quickly, swiftly he swept Gabby into his arms fireman style. She let out a sharp gasp before protesting.

"Matt!" she squeaked. "Put me down, I'm way too heavy for this now! You're going to hurt your back," she protested.

"Never… Light as a feather," he laughed kissing her. Gabby huffed as she threaded her hands around his neck playing with the short hairs on the back of his neck. "I keep… telling you… that I'm… a… firefighter!" he punctuated the words with kisses.

Gabby shook her head slightly and pulled his head closer to hers to deepen a kiss. Moaning slightly, Matt walked towards the bed trying to work out how he was going to get her onto the bed as gently as possible. Normally he would back himself onto the bed and pull her down with him, but that just wasn't possible anymore. Without breaking contact, he somehow maneuverer himself to a kneeling position on the bed and started to slide her onto the soft confines of the king size bed. Gabby's eyes opened to a small seasonal floral arrangement on the side board along with an ice filled bucket containing a chilled sparkling bottle of some non-alcoholic beverage and chocolate-dipped strawberries. Next to her face, she could see a pregnancy pillow.

"Matt?" she questioned pointing at the pillow already reaching for it. He shook his head.

"It comes with the babymoon package."

"Babymoon package? That's a thing?"

"Yes," he confirmed. "All of this along with a prenatal massage, Chef's amenity delivered to our room each day, complimentary in-room movies and … I've made reservations with Graze downstairs. And I've already made you a reservation for a massage…"

"And you? What are you going to do during that?" she questioned.

"Would you believe that I've booked a couples' experience massage?" he meekly told her. Gabby stifled her laughter. Her handsome firefighter husband in a massage room? Wonders would never cease. "They have a couples' suite and I thought it would be nice," he shrugged.

Gabby nodded in agreement. "But right now," she started seductively, "those strawberries look really good," her bottom lip caught between her teeth. Matt gave a throaty laugh as he got up to kick their door shut and brought the platter of strawberries to the bed.

* * *

Gabby stepped into the room in the couples' suite fresh from taking a shower after her massage to find Matt sans a shirt enjoying a glass of wine.

"They have tables from God in there," she moaned dreamily finding a comfortable spot on the large armchair. "Even with the enormous belly," she gestured down, "I could still have my head down, and I didn't need to lie on my side Matt… It was dreamy…" She closed her eyes as Matt passed her over a sparkling water.

Matt reached over to rest an elbow on the side of her chair. He started to tangle his hands into her hair, scratching slightly enjoying the look of pleasure that passed over her face. This getaway was exactly what they needed. Over the past three days they had sat by the poolside enjoying the sunshine that they had been so desperately missing in Chicago

"I was thinking," she spoke softly. "Do we have time for the pool again before dinner?" Matt had been very clear about their dinner tonight. They weren't having it delivered to their room, rather Matt wanted them to get and have a romantic dinner, making sure that they were going to have the time for all the couples stuff that they soon would struggle to be able to do.

"You are loving that pool," Matt observed.

"I love feeling weightlessness that I get from the pool. It's so nice to be able to float in the pool and enjoy it. I'm constantly feeling heavy and just full all the time. My whole belly just feels bigger, tighter and more crowded and I'm hot all the time at the moment, which I know sounds ridiculous considering everything in Chicago," she ranted. "But being in the water just soothes the aches and pain… It makes this holiday everything we needed. I love our lives in Chicago, but it's been so nice to just get away from it all. Recharge the batteries and just be us," she confessed.

Matt smiled as he watched Gabby's eyes flutter closed, a peaceful look adorning her face. This was the time that they needed away. Days by the poolside were heavenly, he had walked by the golf course yesterday and it was only for a moment that he even thought about wanting to chase a white ball around the green in the sun. No, he preferred spending time with Gabby and Smudge. Plus being waited on hand and foot to get drinks, snacks and other bits and pieces were pretty sweet too. He was sure that one day he and Severide could get down here and squeeze in that fishing soon. But right now there wasn't anywhere else in the world he would rather be.

* * *

"Where are we going?" pestered Gabby as Matt led her through the gardens of the hotel. He had been tight lipped about the entire dinner and night, only pulling out a flowing maxi dress that Stella had purchased specifically for this occasion. Not a word more was uttered.

"Just a little while longer," he promised.

Gabby's mouth dropped open slightly as they arrived at their dinner location. No sounds escaped, just a shaky breath or two. In front of her was a perfectly laid out private candlelit cabana overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. Silently, Matt led her over to the table pulling out a chair for her. Waiting for him to sit too, Gabby looked wide eyed at the white gauze like material that lined the cabana.

They sat in a comfortable silence as they enjoyed their meals. Spread out before them on the table was a strawberry and mozzarella caprese, Gabby couldn't get enough of strawberries at the moment. Every day whilst they were down poolside soaking up the sun she had been ordering strawberry mocktail as if there was no tomorrow. She had remembered reading all about babymoons in one of the many pregnancy books that were around the house and every one of them had reminded her to enjoy the mocktails whilst she could.

Dinner was a quiet affair with their waiter sliding in and out of their cabana with discretion, so much that Gabby was barely noticing him. Dessert had come and Gabby was making eyes at Matt's tiramisu knowing that she really shouldn't be eating it, it would be much too much coffee for her and Smudge. Resigned, she tapped her spoon on the top of her Crema Bruciata enjoying the crack it made on the burnt caramel top.

Matt turned his head towards the ocean, looking out across it, the white gauze barely obstructing his view. Gabby let out a quiet throaty chuckle noticing his attention had been pulled away. Cheekily, quickly she reached out towards his plate and swiped a spoonful. She moaned slightly, sinking back into her chair enjoying the smooth creamy cake.

"Oi," Matt admonished as he heard her sound of delight. Gabby's eyes popped open in surprise, a look crossed her face, a mix of cheek and guilt written clean across it.

"What?" she mumbled through the metal spoon. Matt raised his eyebrows at her. "One spoon Matt."

"It's a hell of a lot of caffeine in that tiramisu," Matt complained. Honestly, that woman was going to be the death of him one day… And at this rate, likely soon.

"One spoonful of cake is not going to hurt me or Smudge," she retorted. "You," seeing him open his mouth again, she brandished the spoon in his direction, "you keep going and I'll reach for what is left of that dessert."

Matt gave her one last mock glare and pulled his plate protectively towards himself and taking another large bite.

"Urgh," she complained before tucking into the last of her dessert.

Gabby was bringing her wineglass up to her lips, enjoying the slight tang that sparkling lime water was providing her, her eyes were drawn out to the slowly crashing waves. It was so mesmerising that she didn't even notice as Matt pulled his chair around to be next to her. Silently he slipped a hand into his jacket pocket to pull a dark blue velvet box out. Taking advantage of the fact that Gabby was still enjoying the warm breeze that seemed to be coming off of the ocean, Matt turned the box around in his hands a few times, pondering how best to gift this to her. A small smile drew across his face as he watched Gabby's hand fall unconsciously across her belly, her fingers beginning to play with the fabric. It had given Matt an idea.

Leaning gently across he balanced the box carefully on her belly and pressed a kiss towards her temple, a gentle "I love you," whispered as he pulled away.

Gabby looked at him with surprise as her fingers nimbly caught the box before it tumbled off. Without breaking eye contact she carefully opened the box, looking down only after Matt gave her that 'well go on' look. To her surprise, inside was a diamond ring; a petite cathedral pave diamond ring that matched her wedding band perfectly. Without a second to think, her breath hitched and tears pricked at her eyes, she cursed internally – before she was pregnant she wouldn't have become teary over a simple ring.

Matt smiled as he gently pried the box out of her shaking hand to remove the band. "I love you, Mrs. Casey," he whispered, pushing her chair back so he was able to kneel in front of her. Brushing his lips over her belly, he looked up as the tears started to flow. Quickly he slid the ring onto her finger, admiring how it matched her wedded perfectly. Without warning, he stood and pulled her to her feet to capture her lips in a searing kiss.

Moments later Gabby was reluctantly breaking the kiss, feeling the burn in her lungs, an ache of needing some fresh oxygen. Almost shyly she looked down at the new ring that adorned her finger, even in the soft moonlight her rings were catching some light and glistening. Curiously she looked up at Matt with a questioning look on her face. Matt gave her a half smile with a shrug.

"I know it might feel like we've been together for an eternity Matt… But?" she questioned gesturing at the ring.

"I know that traditional eternity rings are given after ten years of marriage or the birth of our first son, but I wanted to do this now. I want you to know how much I love you and how much you mean to me. I want this be another representation that we will last... Smudge is going to be here in a few short weeks and I want to celebrate that."

"I would have been happy with a necklace to represent what is happening, you didn't have to spend a fortune on a new ring… especially one that I can't wear at work… Matt you really didn't need to spend any more money on me…" she rambled. Matt tried to stop the laugh that was building inside of him and then leant down to capture her lips in an attempt to stop her conscience stream of thought.

"It doesn't matter," he whispered into her ear. "You mean everything to me, and this is just one more symbol of everything that our love means."

* * *

It had been a slow, relaxing walk back to their suite. And once they had finally arrived back Gabby had taken her time getting ready for bed. Every few moments or so she would be distracted by the new ring, the sparkle catching her eyes. Matt hadn't taken all that long to shed his clothing and find his spot on the bed. Leaning his head back against the headboard of the bed his eyes followed her every move.

Following her as she pulled on a nightgown, as she slipped all three rings off and placed them on the bedside table for the moment. He watched through the open door as she brushed her teeth and then hair. As she reached for her face cream Matt strained to think when the last time it was that they had been able to just enjoy the moment. There had been so many stolen glances in the locker room at Firehouse 51 and Matt would never admit to spending time watching her get ready to sleep in her bunk. And now that they weren't working together he missed those small moments.

"Matt?" Gabby's soft voice broke through his reverie. Matt looked up to find her sliding her rings back on and moving her pillows around. With raised questioning eyebrows, she slid into the bed.

"Just enjoying this. Everything this is. Being away from Chicago and work…"

"It's nice," confirmed Gabby snuggling down into the bed. Smiling broadly she placed a hand over her belly, rubbing where Smudge was currently kicking away. "I can't believe that we're going to be a family of three soon," she breathed softly.

Without any words, Matt slid down the bed until his head was level with her belly. "Hey little man," he whispered. Smudge abruptly flipped and kicked Gabby's squarely in the ribs causing her to groan loudly. Feeling the pain radiate around her left side, Gabby made a move to lay on her left side and tried to pull her leg up towards her body in an attempt to move Smudge. She slide her hand to her belly, but before she had the chance, Matt had eased her legs back down and was rubbing her belly. "Hey, hey, hey... None of that little man. Leave your mama be, she needs some rest. I keep telling you, you've got the rest of your life to keep us awake. Tonight… maybe just settle down." He left a quick kiss on her exposed skin. He looked up at Gabby's face as he felt her tug his blonde hair roughly.

"You're going to give Smudge a complex… you keep saying 'him'," she scolded slightly.

"I'm telling you, it's a boy, Gabby…" Looking back down his voice lowered again, "That's right isn't it Smudge? This has been a perfect getaway for us Smudge – you're going to be here changing our lives before we know it. Everything is going to be turned upside down… And we can't wait Smudge… Maybe close your eyes now little man, Daddy wants to have some fun."

 _~ She has cycles of sleeping and waking. After 30 to 90 minutes of snoozing, she may give you a kick to let you know she's awake ~_

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed it. As I've mentioned before ~ I had been hoping to get a few more chapters done, alas it hasn't happened. But since it's the start of what is likely to be a long hiatus; I needed to get something up for you all to read. Fingers crossed that I'm able to get a few more chapters up soon.**

 **Let me know what you think – drop me a review here, PM me or contact me on Twitter!**


	29. Week 31 - Ladder

**So it's been a while, but I think this might be the new normal - random updates as I can. Suppose that is better than making everyone wait until I'm done with Week 40, right?**

 **As always thanks to Rebecca for everything with this chapter and to Jewel for chatting to me about it ages ago. This chapter was supposed to be week 28-29 but I had such a block with it. And I should probably thank Pinterest too for all the inspiration.**

 **Anyways - I hope you enjoy the latest week in the Smudge's development ~Em**

* * *

 _Week Thirty One_

 _~ Candidate is about as long as a bunch of leeks ~_

Matt groaned as he turned over to find an empty spot next to him on the bed. His eyes flicked over towards the clock to find it still early. He knew that Gabby hadn't been sleeping well, but he had still expected her to be in bed. Maybe she wouldn't be laying down in bed, it was more likely that she would be propped in a more upright position. Stretching his own arms out, trying to get the kinks out his back. Rolling over slightly, his eyes were drawn towards the comfy chair that lived in their bedroom. There, wrapped in a warm jumper that he was sure was originally his, sat Gabby. She definitely looked teary, Matt couldn't work out if she was crying or had been crying.

"Gabby?" he called out quietly from his position on the bed. Gabby looked startled, wiping at her eyes furiously. "Hey hey hey…" he quickly made his way over to the armchair. "What's going on?" he knelt down in front of her, brushing her hair out of her eyes.

"Nothing…" she brushed off. "I'm fine." She made a move to push his hand away from her legs and to get up. Matt knew that look, it was one that had led to so many arguments over their on-off relationship. She spent so much of her time trying to prove that she had a strong will.

"Come on Gabs…" he prodded. Carefully he slid his arms underneath her bent knees and the other swiftly brought the rest of her body snuggly into his. This way she wasn't able to escape from him. Gabby scoffed slightly before giving in. "Talk to me…"

Gabby let herself sink back into the pillows before opening her mouth, letting the words spill out of her. "You know what I realised when I was woken up at 4 am by Smudge pushing on my bladder?"

"What?" came Matt's soft reply. He made himself comfortable on his side, propping himself up on an elbow, allowing his head to come to a rest in his hand.

"That I'm 31 weeks today… And I honestly have no idea where the time has gone… We've got so many things left to do before Smudge arrives and roughly nine weeks left to do everything. Seriously? Are we happy with the names we have chosen? What if he doesn't look like a Marcos, that every name we think is going to be perfect, isn't right for Smudge? And we haven't found a paediatrician or put together our nursery… We haven't bought any diapers. And we have no crib… Where is Smudge going to sleep?"

"Exactly, we've still got all these weeks left before Smudge arrives. Plenty of time to get all of these things done. Smudge will be perfectly happy with sleeping right here with us. We can get one of those bassinet things and park it right here," Matt motioned towards her side of the bed.

"I'm not bringing our baby home without a nursery ready," Gabby huffed, crossing her arms over her belly.

"We've got a room ready - I know which room you want…"

"No," interrupted Gabby. "I want the room closest to ours. Baby can't be too far away from us."

"Shall I knock a hole through our bathroom so we can walk straight in?" he asked tongue in cheek. "No…. Gabby no!" he sternly told her as he watched her seriously consider what he had been joking about. "Smudge will stay with us for the moment, then we can move them out. And it's a very short walk out of our room and into hers… What else?"

Gabby gave him a sneaky look. She didn't even know why she ever bothered trying to hide anything from this man in front of her.

"Baby is going to be here in 8 or 9 weeks…" she confessed looking down to play with some non existent lint on her top. "It's slightly overwhelming that she'll be here soon."

"So it's a girl now?"

"Oi!" Gabby teased back, pushing Matt's arm causing him to lose balance off of his elbow. Matt sighed as he made himself comfortable on his back. Quickly he snaked a hand to rest lightly on her belly.

"It's normal Gabs… I'm scared too," he quietly confessed. Not letting her get a word in, nor did he want to face her, he kept staring up at the ceiling. "I'm mostly scared that I'm going to screw up my child… Look at my role models, neither of them were poster parents. I mean, my mother ended up in jail for killing my father. And he was abusive. And it hits me that I've got nothing to let me know if I'm making the right decisions…" Matt to a deep breath. "But then I look at you and I just know that we're going to be fine."

Laughing slightly, Matt turned back onto his side to look his wife in the eyes. "So what, we don't have everything ready for Smudge. Go out today and pick up diapers and clothes. Ring Brett and Kidd - I know that they will want to go with you. Go and have lunch with your friends."

"But…" Gabby splurted.

"Baby," Matt soothed, "Smudge is coming, whether we like it or not, whether we're ready or not. It's going to be here soon. So just embrace it and go with it."

"How do you have the right words?" she questioned as she reached for her cell phone. Not bothering to look up, she quickly typed out a message to the girls asking them to meet her for lunch. "What am I going to do when I'm too fat to get out of the house?" she looked down and placed both of her hands on the sides of her belly resignedly. "I already feel like I can't get any bigger… How much more do you think Smudge can grow in eight weeks?"

"You still have your wedding rings on," pointed out Matt. He was willing to say anything to help out here. "I remember Christie telling me once that her hands started swelling really early in her pregnancy and she couldn't wear them after her 25th week…"

"How do you even remember that?" Matt shrugged non committedly. He just remembered weird things.

"I'm hungry," Gabby suddenly whined. "I need food, Matt… Smudge needs food."

Matt laughed, shaking his head slightly. "Okay then," he started, his hand going out to help her stand up and pulling her in close, "Let's go get you fed then," he chuckled. Discreetly he slipped his phone into his hand, tapping a message out to Antonio and Kelly as he made his way down the stairs in front of Gabby.

* * *

"Hurry up Sev," Matt called out as he shut the door of his truck before making his way towards the building where Antonio lived. Kelly tapped his fist on the bonnet of the truck as his made his way around it.

"Stop," Antonio's voice stopped both men in their tracks.

"Antonio?" Matt greeted his brother in law with a quick hug. "What's going on?"

"I may have forgotten all about our plans to work on the nursery..."

"Antonio… I swear if you're going to work," interrupted Matt.

"Nothing like that," he reassured his slightly stressed brother-in-law. It crossed his mind very briefly to mess with him, but knowing the amount of grief both Matt and Gabby could give him, it wouldn't be worth the hassle. "But I may have forgotten to bring over all of the wood from Papá's… And all the of my tools are over in their shed too."

"You have tools?" Kelly teased.

"Okay, his tools."

Kelly chuckled all the way back to Matt's car, watching as Antonio scampered off towards his own car.

* * *

Kelly's eyes widen as Matt opened the garage door when they first arrived at the Dawson's large house. He let out a low whistle as he took a step in towards the middle of the room.

"You know that you and Dawson could probably have just moved in here, didn't need that fancy house of yours," he joked taking in the room.

"No, I love my in-laws… but no!" Matt emphasised. "Antonio on the other hand…. This place-" he spread his arms around the garage, "-is bigger than his tiny apartment."

"Definitely not," came Antonio's booming voice as he strutted his way into the garage. "I've got a no vacancy clause…"

"You moving in with them," Matt teased back. "I don't think we should put Miguel and Adrianna into that shack you call an apartment."

"So moving on…" Antonio moved his brother-in-law on so he wasn't the centre of attention any more.

Matt moved around the room looking at the various piles of wood that were lying on the floor. He would never have imagined that this time was finally arriving. For weeks and weeks now Matt had been pushing Gabby away with the shopping for the nursery.

Antonio had even been on the receiving end of a very teary phone call late one night. She had been conceived that Matt wanted nothing to do with the baby anymore, or that he obviously just didn't care enough like she did because he didn't want to do anything. Matt had received an incredible angry phone call from an irate older brother, reminding him of that time that Antonio had stormed into his office questioning his intentions with his baby sister. Really it had kicked Matt in gear; between the firehouse and the alderman gig, Matt had never meant for everything to get pushed under the carpet. And never would he ever mention to Gabby that he was feeling overwhelmed with trying to juggle everything in the air. And there was nothing that was ever going to be too much for his Smudge.

And so here he was, standing surrounded by stacks of wood, ready to do what he had always wanted to do.

"Matt?" Kelly's voice broke through his thoughts. Matt followed his best mate's eye line looking at a large stack of stained wood.

"Ever since I found out that Gabby was pregnant, I knew I wanted to build our baby's crib. Everything else is just a bonus. Of course, I've had my doubts - would it be safe enough? What can we finish it with that would be safe for our baby? But it's going to be fine, I just know it. Miguel sent me some plans that could work well for us, and apparently these set of plans are going to end up looking like a Pottery Barn crib. And then Adriana mentioned in passing to me that she thought Gabby would really like it. So it's perfect."

"And I've bought you a mattress," announced Antonio pulling it out of the cupboard. "The lady at the shop said it was a standard size and I checked with mi padre that the plans he had were for this size."

"And I've looked over the plans in detail, comparing them with the crib standards that are provided on one of the American baby sites…"

"Some website?" Kelly asked incredulously.

"The American Academy of Paediatrics," confirmed Matt. "And as much as I know that Gabby would have liked to have the drop down sides, the whole height thing and not having to bend over the side, apparently those have been banned since 2011."

"Never knew that man," Antonio interjected. "The one we had for both Eva and Diego had those. Better let Mama know - I think she has the old crib at their place." Matt nodded along, making a mental note of it to speak to his in-laws about this and offer to get them a new crib. He assumed that they would like to have their grandchild stay with them.

"So how are we doing this?" Kelly questioned looking around at the various lengths of pine laying on the floor.

"Well I know I'm asking a lot of both of you…" started Matt.

"Whoa," Antonio held up his hands and started to back out of the room. "I don't remember offering any type of manual labour…"

Kelly openly laughed in his face. "Man, if I can use tools then so can you… Where did this wood come from?"

"Papá found some non-pressure treated wood in his travels to make the crib. I honestly think that he wanted to be the one making the crib with Casey. Anyway, he found this just before Christmas and he left it around in his garage for us to work with."

"Yeah," scoffed Matt, "He might have been easier to work with than you two clowns."

"And when has he had time to do all of this, Case? Aren't the in-laws away?"

Antonio let out a chuckle. "Papá has been on the phone and the internet sending us both stuff. If he had his way, he would be here ordering us around."

"And we've been working on this for a few weeks now. The upside to having Gabby work on this regular schedule, I've been able to work on a lot of the furniture on my days off. Miguel and I were doing some of the work before they left for the Dominican," Matt shrugged. "Basically all we really need to do today is put together the crib."

"So I think everything has been cut to size and it all just needs to be assembled," announced Antonio looking at the plans that he had finally managed to unroll on the table.

"Why does everything look painted and stained already? And it's all in piles?" questioned Severide, taking in the different stacks of wood.

"That one over there," pointed out Matt, "that's the rocking chair, it's been assembled once and should be ready to go now. And that one… that's the dresser-drawer piece, Miguel and I finished that about six weeks ago. And the last one is the change table that is good to go, I think… Which leaves that pile," Matt pointed to the pile closest to Antonio. "That's the crib, we need to work on that. I want to put it together here and assemble it. Make sure it works together and it all fits. Then we can take it back to the house."

"Let's get to it then, lots of work to do," Kelly announced clapping his hands together.

Antonio leant towards Matt and whispered loudly, "Does he even know how to use tools?"

"I helped build a library," fired back Kelly.

"And since then," Matt joked, "he's all about the tools." He shook his head before pointing Kelly in the direction of the plans and screws, hoping that he would at least be able to map out where the screws had to go.

* * *

Matt heard the doorbell ring as he was trying to get the wall decal up straight. The boys had spent the rest of the morning sorting out the differing pieces of furniture, drilling, sawing and screwing pieces together. Once Matt was satisfied that everything was going to come together as he had hoped, he left Antonio and Kelly to pick up the pieces and sort the rest out whilst he went back to prepare the room. He knew that he didn't need to paint, but there was a few last minute loose ends he wanted to tie up. And it all started with this damn decal.

Christie had warned him when she had brought it over for him. She had managed to track down the decal that she had sent him a photo of weeks ago and since no one knew the new baby's name yet, or gender for that matter, she had gone with 'Casey'. As nice looking as the photo one that Christie had sent him was, it had taken up nearly an entire wall, so Matt had sighed in relief when he unrolled the sticker this morning to find it much smaller and more manageable.

All that being said he was currently struggling with the fire hydrant and that was the first bit of the sticker that he had managed to get attached, was still not straight. He had struggled with trying to get it right for a few long moments and he swore under his breath as the doorbell rang again. He was sure that it was Antonio and Kelly. He had sent them back to the Dawsons' house to pick up the rest of the pieces for the nursery whilst he was attempting to get this up first. Matt had decided that the others could get the furniture whilst he started the decorating. And his first step was to get the sticker onto the wall right above where he wanted to place the crib.

A third time the bell rang. Matt twisted to put his shoulder against the sticker, using a hand to keep the free falling paper from creasing or sticking to the wall. With his free hand he fished out his cell phone from his back pocket. Swiping furiously through his contacts, he stabbed angrily at his phone. "Sev?" he questioned. "Is that you pressing the bell?... I can't move from the room… I've got something half stuck on the wall… Come around the side and back of the house. The door is unlocked… Sev… I don't need a lecture… Just hurry up man…" Grumbling to himself, he let the phone slide down the wall. He cringed as he caught the phone with his foot, slowly lowering it to the floor.

Not moments later Kelly's heavy footstep could be heard pounding up the stairs. Carefully he placed the piles of planks he was carrying onto the ground, right in the middle of the room. Watching on for a moment or two, Kelly gave a throaty laugh as Matt once more tried to moved the edge he had just placed down and tried to straighten it.

Matt turned around to glare at his friend. "The least you could do is help Sev," growled Matt, he was frustrated. He had spent what had felt like he had been fighting with this piece of sticky plastic for hours, when in reality it had only been fifteen minutes. "Well?" came the frustrated voice.

Kelly thought about leaving him hanging for a few minutes longer. It was actually quite funny to watch the normally cool headed lieutenant all frustrated over what was essentially a large oversized sticker. But it was a pretty cool sticker.

"Seriously, Sev…"

"Might have been better if it had a Squad truck in the background," Kelly mentioned a mere twenty minutes later as they took a step back to admire their handiwork finally stuck straight up on the wall. The first three times they had stuck it up, only to look and find that it was crooked. After the first time, Matt had decided not to press too firmly, glueing it to the wall - since it had nearly taken some paint off of the wall as they gingerly removed it. But finally it was up right.

"Next?" questioned Kelly.

"Just need to wait for Antonio to come by with the furniture," confirmed Matt. "And once we have everything, then I think we just need to move everything around the room to make it fit right."

"Hello?" came Antonio's voice nearing to the room that Matt and Kelly were working. Antonio popped his head around the door. "Ready for furniture?" he questioned. Closely following him was Cruz, all rugged out ready for the cold winter raging outside.

"What happened to the room with the balcony?" questioned Cruz as he popped his head into the room where everyone was working. "I overhead Dawson and Kidd talking about the balcony and what you were going to do about the door…"

"Change of plans, the room with that has the balcony is larger than this one," explained Matt. "And I had originally thought that it would be easy enough to just walk straight down the hallway into Smudge's room in the middle of the night. But Gabby decided that if Smudge wants that room when he or she is older then we would look at it. Right now, Smudge's room can be a small one and this is technically right next to ours if it weren't for the bathroom."

"Man, have you mentioned this at all to Gabby?" Antonio asked curious at what his brother-in-law was doing changing rooms like this. Knowing his sister, she may have mentioned it in passing. And if she hadn't told Matt that he needed to change the room, then he was going to be in for hell when she arrived home and found he had changed her plans

"I had to all but drag her out of the room last night when she thought it a good idea to start moving the furniture out of this room," Matt chuckled slightly. "That sister of yours, once she gets an idea into her head… Not to mention that she made a point of telling me this morning that this was the room that was going to be the nursery and she keeps mentioning that we haven't got anywhere for Smudge to sleep."

"That's why we all got the SOS text," Cruz laughed. "Do we need to paint too?" he questioned looking at the white walls. Matt shook his head.

"White is fine with Gabby apparently…" he looked at the bare white walls with concerned frown. If he had his way maybe a light blue-grey wall would be a nice contrast to the stark white.

"So does she know that we're doing this today?" Kelly asked as he opened the built in wardrobe door to check nothing was left in there.

"Nope…" smirked Casey. "Kidd and Brett agreed to take her out for the entire day. Kidd said she would message me when they were on the way home. So I would say that we've got about four hours left to get this place looking great."

Antonio and Kelly exchanged a glance. "I'll ring Herrmann and see what else he can pick up for us," mentioned Kelly while fishing for his phone.

"And I'll take Joe and go grab the rest of the furniture from Papá's house," Antonio confirmed. "Keys?" he held out his hand for Matt's truck keys.

Matt looked thoughtful for a minute pondering what else it was that he needed to do before they started assembling furniture.

* * *

Meanwhile, Stella and Sylvie had managed to drag Gabby out for a girl's afternoon.

Stella carefully placed the wine glasses on the table in front of her and pushed the mocktail that Gabby had requested toward the girl in question. Gabby closed her eyes and sighed contentedly after her very first sip.

"You okay there?" Stella questioned amusedly.

Gabby just nodded, leaving her eyes closed. "Did you know this time last week I was sitting down by a pool, enjoying the sun with one of these mocktails and a little umbrella…" she shivered slightly whilst pulling her jumper a little closer to her body. Even with running slightly hotter, it was still a cold Chicago winter. "Sun on my face, nice maxi dress, thanks for that…" Gabby trailed off remembering her week long vacation.

Sylvie sat back in her comfortable seat, letting the cushions surround her. She twisted her hand around the stem of the wine glass and started to take in the conversation that was unfolding between Stella and Gabby. And Gabby was doing this thing… It was a minuscule movement that she hadn't seen her do for a long time. Sylvie couldn't quite concentrate on the conversation as she stared at Gabby's hands. Her right arm was haphazardly thrown across her belly and her left arm was resting on the table with her hand slightly raised off of it. And there was this thing she was doing - rotating her rings around her finger with the help of her thumb. And every so often the shine of the diamonds would catch Gabby's eyes and a grin would flash across her face before she re-engaged with Stella. She remembered seeing Gabby do this when she was first married, hell she remembered Matt doing a very similar thing while sitting at the bar at Molly's. It was scary just how in sync they were. And without even meaning for it to happen, Sylvie felt the green eyed monster stirring again.

The green eyed monster that she was certain that she had put to bed, but it was evidently still there. It wasn't even something Gabby was consciously doing. Sylvie drowned the half filled glass of wine, before motioning to the girls she was getting up for another.

As her hand wrapped around the chilled glass, her mind froze. Never had she thought that she would be like this. There had been a time in her life where she was engaged to be married and life hadn't turned out how she had thought. And now, here she was in Chicago, cold windy Chicago… without anyone to call her own. Even Stella had Severide. Never would she had believed that she was the odd one out, the only single girl in the circle of friends. Of course, there was that nice guy who had bought her a drink at Molly's last week. He had seemed nice enough. But she wasn't sure.

Why couldn't life be easy? Meet a guy, settle down and live fairly happily ever after. Stella and Gabby just made it all look so easy. Taking a seat at the bar, Sylvie looked back at her pair of friends. Stella's loose wavy hair was out of its usual work confinements, shaking as she threw her head back, roaring with laughter as Gabby told yet another story about her week away.

It was then that she noticed something else about Gabby and her ring. There was something new there sparkling in the bright lights of their surroundings, something catching the light as Gabby picked up her glass again. Against her wedding ring was a brand new ring. Sylvie stared harder still as she noticed Gabby clicking the rings against the side of the glass. She would be drawn away momentarily from the conversation and look around for the source of the sound, before realising it was her the entire time. Her gaze would then be drawn towards her rings and their brilliant sparkle. Every so often then Gabby would start to turn them around her finger. Sylvie was sure that Gabby would have mentioned it if Matt had bought her a new ring, but nothing.

The whole gossip session had revolved around the week away that the Caseys had shared. Sylvie herself had stayed mostly quiet, just happy soaking in the experiences of her friends. Honestly, it was a little odd to see Gabby with that many rings even adorning her finger, in all the years they had worked together; Gabby had only ever worn her wedding ring.

And as she thought about that, it suddenly struck her. It was her life; it was her that needed to make the decisions. Taking a sip of her drink, Sylvie thought about the girls in front of her; the ones who were busy laughing and sipping on their respective drinks ~ Neither of them had had an easy journey in life. Gabby was always quick to remind her of that.

So maybe instead of sitting there feeling sorry for her, she would just take life on. That guy who had bought her a drink, maybe there was something in it. He had left her with his number… Maybe it was time to use it. And it was time to get on board with the happiness that was happening in friend's life, all of her friends.

"So…" Sylvie drew out as she threw herself down onto the plush armchair, somehow managing not to spill any of her drink. "We've heard all about that brilliant getaway that Casey took you on…"

"And we've been blinded by a new ring…" interrupted Stella. Gabby ducked her head in embarrassment.

Sylvie nodded along, "And how is this all going?"

Gabby gave a low chuckle, wondering how honest she actually should be. "Filtered version?" she questioned.

Stella roared with laughter as she placed her nearly empty wine glass back onto the glass surface of the table. "When have you ever filtered Gabby?"

"I am swiftly coming to the conclusion that there is absolutely _nothing_ attractive about the third trimester of pregnancy. In my second trimester, I had this resurgence of energy, my belly was a cute little bump that both fascinated and enthralled me, and any pregnant woman has a lovely glow that comes from the all the excitement to come. Everyone fawns over you and your little belly - nothing is too hard. I was able to teach practical classes… And the sex..." Gabby laughed. "But now that I'm in my third trimester - nine weeks to go and I feel like I've gained weight like a fat person at an all you can eat buffet. And have you seen my hips and thighs? They have spread like the Red Sea…" she ranted.

Sylvie laughed as she looked down at her thin, thin legs. Gabby was all baby.

"And my emotions - I have cried enough during this pregnancy to last a lifetime. It's like my emotions are bouncing all over the place like being on a trampoline. And the cute little flutterings that at one time I only felt? They are now 'love punches' at my bladder and ribs… Matt loves feeling them, but I could do without the bladder punches. And swelling is happening everywhere; places that should never swell. And ladies, if I'm being honest - let's not forget about that little thing of the actual birth - the little bundle of joy that I know will forever wreak havoc on lady parts and my lower abdomen… I don't want to think about what is going to happen down there," she bemoaned. Stella had to bite her bottom lip to stop the laughter coming out whilst Sylvie's shoulders shook in silent laughter.

Gabby took a deep breath and thought about it all, "But at the end of this incredible journey, Smudge will finally be here. I'll have a beautiful baby and a whole new understanding of unconditional love; Matt and I will be parents. He's wanted this for so long. So in the end, I guess it all evens out."

* * *

The boys were hard at it. Antonio and Matt were working on the rocking chair with the change table already standing proudly in the corner. Kelly, on the other hand, was trying to put the cot back together for the fourth time. The jokes hadn't stopped over the last few hours. About twenty minutes ago he thought it was finally up, only for Cruz to put the slats in and the whole thing crumbled.

Cruz had been voicing his concerns for a solid ten minutes since. It was only the threat of being kicked off Squad that had finally silenced him. Ever since then he had been busy picking up the little things around the room and setting up bits and pieces.

"Got room for more?" called out Herrmann's gravelly voice from down below, definitely inside the house.

"Do you ever lock your doors Matt?" asked Antonio, a look of concern passing over his face.

"Back door is open right now, just so you lot are able to get in and out without us having to go and open the door every ten minutes…" Matt explained; making sure that Gabby's older brother, the police officer wouldn't give him the third degree about safety in Chicago. Cruz laughed as he made his way out to the stairs to shout down to Herrmann.

Moments later, Herrmann appeared with a big shopping bag in hand and a small wooden ladder tucked under the other.

"Ladder?" questioned Matt.

"It's for you short Truck members," Kelly interrupted, once he had seen how short the ladder was. It was a dark wooden ladder that was a little shorter than one would expect to see on a short bunk bed, and it wasn't as wide as they saw every day. However, as Herrmann turned it around to lean it against a wall, a shiny surface caught their eyes. Cruz bent down to take a closer look.

"Herrmann?" he questioned. The rungs had been turned and glued flush to the side rails and along every third rung some mini water spouts had been attached as hooks.

Herrmann shrugged slightly, "Cindy saw something like this… Boden and I have been working on it. He found an old mini ladder. Good for a mini smoke eater." Matt nodded as he clamped a hand onto his friend's shoulder in thanks before bending down too. Those spouts actually looked identical to those they would find on any Chicago water hydrant. Without meaning to, Smudge's nursery was going to be very firefighter themed. Everything that meant the world to Gabby and himself was going to live in this room, and it seemed fitting that firefighting was going to take front and centre.

"Have you thought what might happen if my niece is a girl?" Antonio laughed. Even as the words left his mouth, he knew that the sentence really didn't make sense, but the sentiment was still the same.

"Don't let your sister hear you say that," Herrmann joked. "She's a firefighter and Kidd will back her too. Doesn't matter if it's a girl or boy, Casey will still be a firefighter." Cruz nodded along emphatically.

"Plus we didn't paint the room red or hang hoses… but" Kelly looked around the room, his eyes darting over the four walls of the nursery, "there's no CFD crest anywhere."

Antonio shook his head as he dug through the bag that Herrmann had placed on the floor. Inside he found the cushions for the rocker and the ottoman section, right at the bottom was an animal sheet set ready to be placed in the crib.

* * *

Antonio, Kelly and Matt stood next to the door to survey their handiwork. Herrmann and Cruz had left only twenty minutes ago, but they had been most helpful.

"Looks good bro," complemented Antonio. Matt nodded along, in his mind he was running through the things and items that he had wanted to achieve today. Glancing around and looking around at the items hanging from the walls, it seemed like they had ticked off every thing on his list.

The nursery still needed Gabby's feminine touch and a heap of finishing touches, but the bones of the nursery were down. The parts of the room that Matt had envisioned were pretty much done… All except one thing. Matt held up a finger to the boys as he exited the room.

Quickly making his way towards the end of the hall, he ducked into the room that they had originally planned to be Smudge's room. He glanced around before retrieving the canvas that had been gifted to them.

Once back in Smudge's nursery, Matt pondered the best spot for hanging it. Finally he picked up a hammer and nail so he could hang it high above the corner where the rocking chair stood.

"It's still missing a few photos," mentioned Antonio as Matt took a step back to make sure that it was straight.

"What is it?"

"Gabby and Antonio's parents gave it to us," explained Matt. "A canvas to hold ultrasound photos. I think Gabby has a few more from our 30th week appointment, but I don't know where she stashed them. And that last spot is for our first family photo," he pointed up at it.

* * *

Gabby dropped a heap of shopping bags on the coffee table causing Matt to look up from his television watching.

"What have you got there?" he questioned, rising up out of the chair to hug her and rest a hand on her belly. "That's a few bags," he pointed out.

"After lunch the girls and I went to Pottery Barn. Well, I wanted to start at Twinkle Twinkle Little One, but Stella told me that she couldn't transport nursery furniture in her car. But there's this little cute crib that I want. Matt," she whined. "We need to start on our nursery. Smudge is going to be here soon. Can't have an empty room…"

"Gabby…" he gently prodded, grabbing her hand and drawing her back to the bags that were spread in front of them. "What did you get?"

"Nothing much," brushed off Gabby, "Just some clothes, a few soft toys and bedding… Oh and this…" Slowly Gabby dropped to the floor so she was able to start digging through the bags upon the table. "I know that I keep saying that I don't want all this firefighter stuff in our nursery for Smudge, but it's still a big part of who we are and I just couldn't resist this." She pulled out a little black body suit that had printed on suspenders and a fire department crest.

Matt couldn't help the grin that started to spread across his face. Dropping a kiss to her temple, he placed a hand under her elbow and the other around her waist. "Come on," he urged her quickly as he helped her into a standing position.

"Where are we going?" Gabby questioned as Matt followed her up the stairs, a fair amount of pressure on the small of her back causing her to continue up the flight of stairs towards their bedroom. As she reached the top stair, Gabby placed a hand on the underside of her belly, supporting the weight of Smudge; the slightly hurried walk up the stairs had left her somewhat out of breath.

Matt's warm hand snaked around to join hers as he twisted her around the hallway, away from their room and towards the room he had worked so hard on today.

"How you feeling there? ... Ready for a surprise?" he questioned as he placed his hand on the door handle. Gabby twisted slightly to look up at her husband, a questioning look on her face. She had opened her mouth with a smart Dawson reply in mind, but before she was able to let the words filter out, Matt swung the door open.

With some extra pressure, Gabby took a single step inside the room. A deep breath was taken as she rested her hand upon her belly. There was a dark wood dresser closest to the door. Upon it stood a set of bookends with baby foxes on them. Gabby slowly walked towards the crib that was against the wall opposite the door. Matt silently shut the door behind himself and leant against it; his eyes never stopped following her figure.

Gabby gave a slight laugh as she noticed the Casey sticker above the crib. Leaning over the railing of the crib, she ran a hand over the wall, a soft smile settling on her features. "How did you do all of this?" she questioned as the change table that sat next to the crib caught her eye.

"We have some amazing friends," confessed Matt, all the time urging her to keep exploring the small room.

"I see you haven't done everything," she laughed as she opened the built in wardrobe, finding it bare.

"Have to leave something for you to do," he joked back. "Didn't think that you would appreciate the stylings of the men of Firehouse 51."

"Matt…" Gabby's voice caught in her throat as she spotted the ladder that had been hung next to the window. It didn't matter how many times she had insisted that they shouldn't have a firefighter theme to their nursery, it had especially weighed on her mind should they have a girl. But there were a few CFD touches here and there that didn't overwhelm the room - and it was perfect. Matt made his way up behind her, took her into his arms and rested his chin on her shoulder.

"It's from Herrmann and the Chief… They've been working on it… And we should probably thank Cindy too, Herrmann said that it was her who found it…. Wait, wait, wait…" He tugged her back. Gabby was already charging toward the door, likely intent on finding her phone and profusely thanking the Herrmanns and Bodens for their gift. "Just a few more things, Baby…" he nodded toward the corner next to the window.

Following his gaze, Gabby noticed the soft small couch that has been in this particular room since they had first moved in. With its cream colouring, it matched in perfectly with all the dark wood. And then there was a glider set in the corner with ultrasound canvas hung above it. She knew that it was missing a few photos, ones that were tucked in the desk in their office.

"It's not quite done," Matt confessed. "But I thought you might like another shopping trip…" he trailed off.

Gabby turned and strode towards Matt, a hand went roughly around his neck and pulled him towards herself. Lips meet lips, as they both fought for dominance. Gabby pulled back regretfully a few moments later, her fingers still tangled in his short blonde hair. "It's perfect Matt… Perfect," she breathed. "Where did you get all of this? That crib is perfect… Pottery Barn?" she guessed. The crib looked exactly like one she had noticed in the window of the said shop.

Matt ducked his head with some embarrassment, "I made it… Your dad had been helping me… But I made it, that's why I've been putting you off." Gabby's mouth dropped slightly as she took in all of the wooden furniture in the room. She always knew that Matt was good with his hands, but this was something so much more special.

"You made this?" Gabby questioned, her hands running over the rocking chair that sat in the corner of the room. She pushed the back gently and watched as it glided back and forth. Although she had never shared it, she had really wanted a glider. That one time they had visited the baby store, she had tried out the various rockers that they had stocked and Gabby had quite quickly realised that the rocker type rocking chairs weren't right for her. She had felt like she might go head over heels as she took a seat in them. On the other hand, the gliders only went back and forth which was much more reassuring. And the little ottoman moved back and forth with it.

Matt nodded sheepishly, "Well I had help from Severide and Antonio… Not to mention Herrmann and Cruz."

"Antonio? My brother Antonio?" she asked incredulously. Upon the affirmative nod, she looked sideways at the chair. "Have you tested it? I don't want to sit in that chair and suddenly find myself and Smudge on the floor." Matt nodded as he picked up the ottoman to move it from in front of the glider so he would be able to test it out.

Matt bit his lip trying desperately to hold in his laughter, and with laughter dancing in his eyes took a seat in the chair. Gabby held her breath as Matt started to rock back and forth. A few seconds later, Gabby seemed convinced that the chair was safe and she looked forward to trying it out for herself.

A few seconds later Matt reached out to pull her into his lap. With a slight 'omph' the wind was knocked out of her.

"See," he told her, "Antonio and I are perfectly capable of making safe furniture."

"And since I'm such a whale at the moment, I don't think we'll last too long on here together… as much as I enjoy cuddle Matt, this just isn't comfortable," she confessed.

With one last kiss to her temple, Matt helped her up to her feet. "Sit," he ordered once he was out of the way. Quickly he pushed the ottoman back towards her feet and knelt to lift her legs onto it for her to try out the entire experience. Once he was satisfied he moved towards the dresser

Matt pulled out a gift wrapped package out of the top dresser drawer before handing it over to Gabby who was gently swinging testing out the chair. She opened her eyes as she felt the package touch her lap. The smile on her face widened as she surveyed the slightly unruly wrapping that was presented to her.

"No guesses who wrapped this," she teased Matt. With a cheeky smile upon his face, he shook his head.

"Not me…" he promised. Gabby gave him a confused look before turning the parcel over in her hands to start taking off the tape. Her eyes widened as she revealed a very familiar looking piece of material.

"I gave this to Antonio when Eva was born," she muttered.

"And he wants our little one to have it now," confirmed Matt, shaking it out to its full size and tucking it in around Gabby's body. Sliding a stool that he found in the closet next to the glider, Matt himself took a seat and placed a hand over her belly, laughing as he felt some kicks and punches beneath his palm.

Gabby closed her eyes as she leant her head back again the cushion enjoying the serene moment between their little growing family. "Apparently she's about to enter her last growth spurt before birth, meaning she'll be filling out and getting ready to greet the world," Gabby spoke quietly, not wanting to break the spell that had settled over them "She's been moving around a lot, flipping and kicking in my belly doing what I assume is her spirited version of the Dawson dance…"

Matt nodded in agreement, "He's probably got the Dawson version of a dance party happening in there," he spoke up.

Gabby cracked a slit of an eye to glare at him. "Better than a Casey dance," she replied as her own hand rested over his. "It's going to be perfect Matt."

 _~ He will now gain as much as a half pound per week until he's born ~_

* * *

 **As always please do let me know what you think - Review...**


	30. Week 32 - Hima

**So a year ago I started this story and at the time I had believed that this was going to span a pregnancy. But alas, best laid plans… So I've worked and worked on this to get it up for the one year anniversary of Glimpses.**

 **Rebecca – thank you for everything. I would never have thought over a year ago that I would have made such a friend through this; thank you for prodding me to publish my stories and for everything else Jewel – thanks for the encouragement and the crazy long messages we exchange. And to all the lovely ladies here and on twitter, it's such a lovely fandom. To all my readers, thank you for sticking around – I hope you enjoy the latest update ~Em**

* * *

 _Week Thirty Two_

 _~ Candidate is the size of a Napa cabbage ~_

Gabby tossed in the bed for what felt like the 100th time in the last hour. Next to her Matt slept soundly, without a care in the world. But she felt hot and bothered and nothing she did was helping her feel comfortable. Finally she decided that sliding onto her back for a moment or two might help relax her aching back muscles. She honestly felt like most of her time was spent trying to get to sleep these days. The days were long and the nights even longer.

Everything hurt. It had become a common feeling for Gabby, a pain that seemed to radiate from the back of her thighs. And it didn't matter what she was doing; everything seemed to trigger it. From walking, climbing stairs, getting in and out of the tub or a low chair, rolling over in bed, or twisting and lifting. And sitting in a chair at her desk at the academy was the worst thing in the world for her at the moment. Leaning forward, it tended to be when she was bending from the waist at her desk. Given that she only had a few weeks or so left at the academy now was not the time to start changing everything. A cushion was starting to become her favourite item at work and her teaching sessions had tended to be shorter and more often. There was no way she was even able to think about giving a three hour lecture anymore. Rather she had broken them up into smaller more manageable sessions. On Friday it had crossed her mind, that even though she was only 32 weeks, maybe it was really time to step down.

When she first took the job, she had always planned on working up to as long as she could; more thinking that she could likely go up to 34-35 weeks, maybe even 36 weeks if she felt good. 40 weeks seemed like such a long way away and at 32 weeks, it seemed like she had ages to go. When she first transferred over to the Academy she clearly remembered thinking that now that she was off Ambo it could mean that she would be able to work right up to 36 weeks. When she had discussed it with Dr. Peterson, who confirmed that yes anytime after 37 weeks could be considered safe to be delivered, actually up until a few years ago 37 weeks would have been considered full term. Not ideal to be born too early but still okay. And Gabby was thinking that she might have been able to make it to the next break in the Academy semester - a whole four and a half weeks away.

And then she was waking up four or five times a night. Tended to be more when Matt was on shift. If he was home Gabby would ask for a heat pack or at the very least his hands on the cramping muscles. There was no way that she was able to manoeuvre around her growing belly to be able to actually reach all the parts of her body that were sore. So she would be up so many times a night; whether it be from the constant need to pee or the aching and pains. And the sleepless nights impacted on her working day. Working right up to the birth - Gabby couldn't quite believe that people actually did this.

Smudge was going to be a much loved baby and she couldn't wait to meet their newest family member. But the somewhat physical job that she still had, it was becoming all it a little too much. Gabby couldn't even imagine what it would be like working on Ambo at this point of her pregnancy.

Stella had told her of a story she had heard about just last week during their catch up, it was all about a firefighter who was still working at 6.5 - 7 months pregnant. Every state had a different policy regarding pregnancy or lack thereof, but wherever it was apparently if they had a letter clearing them from the doctor then it was fine. And if you were overweight you could likely squish the fat into the pants and into a turncoat, a baby didn't squish well. Gabby knew, right now, at nearly eight months gone there was no way she would even be able to drag her ass up and into the truck or fit into her turnout coat, nor Matt's. Twenty four hour shifts? Those seemed like a lifetime ago.

So at 32 weeks, Gabby was really feeling _it._ Everything was running at a breakneck speed and there was nothing that Gabby could do, but enjoy the rollercoaster ride. And if she thought about it, she was trying to be positive about the experience. There wasn't much time left - two months and counting. And Gabby had found that if she had a more positive mindset, it seemed to equal feeling a bit better.

Slowly Gabby eased herself onto her back hoping it might relieve the pressure she was feeling on her hip. There was this almost raw feeling in her side, almost like her hip bone was on the mattress. And no amount of pillows would relieve that pressure at that moment. She knew that it wasn't advisable to sleep on her back, especially this late in her pregnancy; Clara had reminded her of this fact only last week. It was something about being belly up and the possibility of the weight of her uterus compressing a major blood vessel.

But it only lasted a few minutes before she started feeling breathless and somewhat dizzy. Smudge had somehow moved themselves upwards and it felt like her breathing had been compressed - definitely felt like her diaphragm was being compressed. Slowly she tried to take a deep breath, her hands going to the top of her belly pushing down gently as she expelled air from her lungs. But Smudge was definitely lodged up and underneath her ribcage. Moving her left hand down the side of her belly, she tried poking a finger in an attempt to move Smudge down. When that failed Gabby struggled upwards towards her bedside table, hoping that she had remembered to leave a bottle of cold water out.

Gabby shivered violently as the icy cold water made its way through her body. She could actually feel it trickling down her esophagus. But it had the desired effect when Smudge gave one last kick to her ribs and dislodged themselves. Sometimes Gabby couldn't wait for Smudge to drop, just so she could breathe a little more freely. It was hard to imagine what it was like to easily breathe and move anymore.

Turning onto her side Gabby noticed that the blinds were completely closed causing the room to have a soft glow from the moonlight streaming in. Propping herself up on her elbow to started to drink in Matt's sleeping form. He looked so peaceful, the many worry lines that creased his face from leading a truck company seemed to disappear. The years seemed to melt off of him.

And those piercing blue eyes that were hidden behind those closed eyelids - Gabby could lose herself in him. A soft smile spread across her face thinking about the first time she first looked into those eyes. There was something familiar and comforting about the blue Casey eyes. Brushing a few stray hairs from Matt's face, she pushed herself forward to place a gentle kiss on his face, breathing in the scent that was overwhelmingly Matt's.

How she wished that Smudge would have those same blue Casey eyes. Gabby could close her eyes and imagine Matt cradling their baby both of them staring back at her with those striking eyes. It would be perfect.

She finally hauled herself out of bed, when her legs started to tingle and crawl again. Standing a bit too quickly Gabby found herself blindly reaching for the edge of the bed as she waited for the dizziness to pass. Moments later she carefully walked towards the bathroom intent on taking a hot shower.

Normally she would have liked to take a long soak in the tub, but with her back aching and her legs cramping she knew she wouldn't be able to get in or out of the deep tub without Matt's assistance. Pausing at the sight of herself in the full bathroom mirror, she turned sideways to look at her bump. Somewhat self consciously, Gabby smoothed the loose material of Matt's shirt over her bulging belly and interlocked her fingers on the underside; it felt like she had grown even more in the few hours since she had been in bed. Once again not an uncommon occurrence - every morning she felt like she was getting bigger and bigger. She was sure that Smudge was going to run out of room soon, yet Dr. Peterson had assured her yesterday that Smudge was growing like a weed and was right on track for 32 weeks gestation. It also made her wonder how much longer she was going to be able to steal Matt's shirts to sleep or laze around in; while they still managed to cover her bump comfortably yet they didn't quite feel long enough to be really comfortable anymore. She felt like they needed to cover her butt to be warm.

The painful tingling in her lower right calf brought Gabby slamming back into the present moment and out of her daydream. A short gasp fell from her lips. It was a weird sensation, almost like a crawling, tingly feeling that would morph into cramps. They had stopped her in her tracks for the first time about two weeks ago whilst she was marking papers late one afternoon at the academy. She had felt slightly stupid after a phone call to Natalie confirmed that it was fairly normal and there wasn't anything to be worried about since it wasn't a constant pain.

She looked longingly at the large tub that stood closest to the door. Only last week she had discovered that the warm water was magical in relieving the leg pain she was currently experiencing. But that 5 inch tiling that surrounding the tub itself made it nearly impossible for her to get her pregnant body into the bath by herself. That ledge was amazing for the times when she wanted to relax in the bath and read a book, it also gave her a place to rest candles or any food she may have wanted to nibble on. But large bodies, with an ever changing centre of gravity - NO!

For just a fraction of a moment she seriously considered heading down to the other bathroom which housed a bathtub. Just a fraction of a second however. The thought of having to walk all the way down two flights of stairs to the lowest level of the house did not sound appealing at all. And if the magical warm water did heal her current level of aches and pains, or at least get them to a more manageable level - then wouldn't having to climb back up to the second level just defeat the purpose - she argued with herself. No, not worth it.

After hanging a towel on a waiting hook next to the shower glass door, Gabby gingerly took a step into the warm inviting shower. There was something about a hot shower that was just perfect at this point of her pregnancy. In fact without her nightly hot showers Gabby struggled to get to sleep due to her tingly legs.

Sighing deeply, Gabby tilted her head back and let the warm water trail over her forehead and down her hair. In a learned ease, Gabby made her way through a routine to help ease the pain she was feeling. Leaning up against the wall of the shower, she carefully stretched out her legs, first her left and then her right. Next she stretched her calf muscles as she flexed her feet and then pointed them alternating as she went. As she heard her ankles click there was a relief starting to seep through her body. Straightening her body, Gabby's hand went to her sore back. She missed Matt, his hands always seemed to know just the right spot to hit.

The more Smudge grew, the more Gabby's spine was curving inward. And it was causing her all sorts of back pain. Thankfully Smudge was of average size, Gabby shuddered to think what her body would go through if he was bigger. Readjusting the shower head, Gabby leant forward pushing her forearm onto the opposite wall just above her head. Stretching forward, she managed to rest her forehead on her arm, allowing the water to hit her lower back. Gabby didn't know how long she stood in that same position for, but it was one that was easing the pain.

Biting back a moan, Gabby forced herself to stop from calling out for Matt. As much as the water was helping, she knew that the water that jetted out of the shower head could help even more. Starting to roll her hip in a circular motion and a hand supporting her belly, Gabby felt Smudge move down just enough to help with her breathing.

Gently, carefully Gabby took a step over the shower lip on the warm waiting towel. With the same carefulness, still gripping onto the shower door handle she reached for a large fluffy towel. Once she was done, she threw her warm pyjamas on and padded out of their ensuite, hopefully now ready for bed.

Readjusting the dim light of their bedroom, Gabby decided that she still wasn't tired enough to sleep. Knowing that any light would probably wake Matt up, she thought she might just go downstairs, get some milk and get on with some paperwork. That paperwork that never seemed to end.

And the Casey family had their fair share of paperwork with the CFD. As Gabby made her way into the office, once she had a warm glass of milk in her hands, she glanced over the various stacks of paper - all of which bore the proud CFD emblem. Some were Matt's, most were hers. Gabby brought so much more work home with her. The volume of paperwork just seemed to be doubling as the weeks went on.

As nice as it would be to not have to bring all of this home, her chair at home was much more comfortable than the academy office one. And there were reports that needed marking. There was a horrible part of her that really just wanted to leave it all for her replacement. Almost as if Smudge heard her thought, they delivered a swift sharp kick to her ribs, a sharp reprimand.

Shaking her head slightly, a wry smile on her face Gabby picked up her red pen and started marking the paper that lay in front of her.

* * *

Matt turned over in his sleep and reached out a hand, unconsciously in an attempt to pull Gabby into towards himself. He was pulled from his sleep when his hand was met with thin air.

Running a tired hand over his face, Matt pushed himself up into a seated position, squinting as his eyes trying to adjust to the harsh light of the bedside lamp. The red lights on Gabby's clock told him that it was nearly 3 in the morning. Where was Gabby? He knew that she had been having problems sleeping through the night, many a night would he be woken up by her constant tossing and turning. But after what had ended up being a very long day on a construction job and then a long council meeting last night Matt had slept very soundly. Something about being in a warm house, in his own house, in an actual proper comfortable bed that would allow Matt to slip into a deep sleep - one that never occurred, no matter how tired he might be at the firehouse. And if he was perfectly honest, as Gabby's pregnancy progressed he wasn't getting a good night's sleep at home from her tossing and turning, or at the firehouse where his bunk was uncomfortable and he was starting to worry about Gabby by herself at home.

Not to mention the long work days at the academy were beginning to worry him. Over the last week Matt had become increasingly aware that Gabby's body was changing at a faster rate than it had previously. Earlier in the week Matt had sat at the breakfast bench, a steaming coffee in his hand watching as Gabby made her way into the house after a day's work at the Academy. It wasn't an overly long day, well before 5 pm when Gabby stepped foot into the house. His eyes lingered on her as she slowly made her way into the house, her backpack slung loosely over her right shoulder. Each of her steps was deliberate and slow. Still although a distance away Matt could tell that she was uncomfortable. And then it occurred to him, as he watched her come into the kitchen, something was new, Gabby's hands had gone to underneath her swollen belly, holding it up slightly as if to provide herself with more support.

Even her gait had changed slightly. Towards the end of a long day Matt had spied her with a minimal 'waddle' in her walk, not that he dared to mention it. She looked a bit like a cute duck with the waddle - and he knew any comment of that type would banish him to either the spare room or if she was feeling particularly hormonal and cruel, the downstairs couch.

And all of these things bothered Matt. He knew he couldn't wrap her up in bubble wrap until Smudge arrived. But it was a challenge for his strong headed wife to realise that she couldn't do everything that she used to be able to, and the things that she could still do - it wasn't as easy anymore. And he knew there was a fine line between him being supportive and being overprotective. In Gabby's eyes, nearly everything he might do could be construed as overprotective.

There wasn't a light on in their ensuite and as Matt hurried towards the nursery he found the room empty, dark and cold. Over the last week Matt had found her sitting in the glider with her eyes closed, reading a book, drinking a hot cup of something, or simply gliding back and forth; enjoying her time in the peace and quiet.

But it was cold - they had found that this room with its floorboards tended to be on the chilly side. They had heating and cooling installed in the house and were able to regulate the temperature at the push of a button, changing it by room as needed, yet Matt had decided to purchase and install a small space heater that sat next to the glider. It was fast becoming his favourite sight to see Gabby gliding back and forth, hands resting on her belly and the family blanket that Antonio had given them tucked around her. One of these days he was going to capture it on his phone.

It also left him with a question in his mind. Where had Gabby disappeared to? She didn't often go down stairs in the middle of the night, not since her restless leg syndrome had set in. Matt had assumed that the feeling of feeling uncomfortable wasn't going to set in for at least a few more weeks for Gabby, at least that was what his parenting book had told him.

So there was a slight shock that went through him when he noticed a small sliver of light shining out from underneath the office door. He had been expecting to find her on an armchair in the living room watching TV, some trashy Spanish program showing on the screen.

Matt watched in awe as Gabby furiously wrote over the paper on the desk. Even from his vantage point, he could make out the scrappy handwriting. That handwriting was hard to read, it would have had to be worse than Otis' and he always grumbled when the young driver did any sort of paperwork. Gabby huffed and rubbed a hand over her eyes, the starting of bags could be seen beginning to form. Frowning she pushed it away from herself, glaring all the while. With a deep sigh, Gabby grabbed the next paper from the pile, tapping the pen on the table as she scanned the words.

"Hey beautiful," Matt spoke up leaning on the door frame. Gabby laughed slightly her eyes never once leaving the page that she was reading.

"Tired wife you mean."

Matt quickly made his way over to where Gabby was sitting leaning down to press a quick kiss to her temple before resting his cheek on the top of her head. Glancing down his eyes started to scan what it was she was doing.

"Babe it's 3 in the morning… come to bed," Matt tried to convince her to come back to bed. He was tired, knowing that he would need to get up in a few short hours to get ready for work.

"Just a few more." Gabby fobbed him off, still writing comments on the page. She gestured to the pile on her left.

"That's more than a few," Matt confirmed as he moved to stand behind her and started rubbing her shoulders lovingly. "Come on babe, you look exhausted." He knew he was getting to her as a soft moan fell from her lips and she leaned into his touch.

"I'm just tired Matt," Gabby confessed placing her pen down on the desk. Gabby didn't want to admit it, but over the last week the pregnancy was starting to take its toll. It was starting to feel like she had been pregnant forever and it was really now getting to the point where she just wanted to meet Smudge and get on with the next phase of her life. And if she felt like that now, how was she going to survive the next eight weeks? "But I really need to get this done," she finished turning her full attention back to her marking.

Matt moved to sit in the chair on the opposite side of the desk. He was tired and although he could not recognise it in himself, he was irritated too. It was early in the morning and if he had been in the right mind the words to next leave his lips might never have done so.

"Gabby - it's three in the morning and you're working. Don't you think it might be time to step down?"

A look of horror passed over Gabby's face. Only a few weeks ago Matt had tried to get her to slow down and it hadn't ended well that time. Matt had promised himself that he would be more supportive and not bring up Gabby finishing work again. Tired Matt's mouth was, however, moving faster than his brain.

" _Excuse_ _me_?"

"Gabby, you're tired and you're working. How much sleep are you actually getting? I'm only worried about you. So early in the morning and you're doing work. Even I don't complete my reports at 2 - 3 am… Gabby think about it…"

"I am thinking about it… And it seems to me that you're telling me what to do again…"

"Gabby," he tried to calm her down. "No one is going to think any less of you if you start your leave now. Honestly, it could be a good thing," he suggested. Gabby's eyes flashed again, he was being controlling.

"And what do you expect me to do if I start my leave?" But Matt wasn't able to get a word in. "There's only so much time that I can take before I'm out of leave and I have to come back… Don't you think that would be better spend with Smudge, rather than hanging around the house waiting for them to arrive?" she spat.

"Gabby," he placated. "I know you're not still on Ambo. But it's still a stressful and demanding job…"

"Demanding?" Gabby rolled her eyes.

"You're marking papers at 3 am," pointed out Matt, trying to drive the point home.

"I would be awake whether I needed to mark or not," shot back Gabby. "And that's the fault of _your_ child," she grumbled fed up of the aches and pains she was feeling. This just wasn't the conversation she wanted to be having at this time of the morning.

Matt looked around the office trying to calm himself down. Gabby seemed just a little unreasonable. "And leave - take it when you need it. You know the chief will approve any unpaid leave that you want to take when your leave runs out… We can afford it. Boden and I were talking last week; by taking short-term disability you're entitled to up to four weeks before your due date and then another six weeks after Smudge arrives at two-thirds pay. And he said you also have vacation time that you can use too. All without accessing your sick days."

" _You_ spoke to _Boden_?" Gabby was seething. He had no right, it was her body, her life and her job.

Matt pulled his head back, giving her an incredulous look. She couldn't be serious. He had watched her struggle to walk up to their bedroom some nights. Helping her into the bathtub had become a ritual that he quite enjoyed. But right now, she was going all out attacking him. It wasn't quite 'all Gabby Dawson' - but it wasn't far off. Most certainly if she could, Gabby would have already hauled herself out of the chair, stormed out of the room by now. Good thing for Smudge slowing her down. Matt stood and made his way over to her side.

"You don't get to do that Matt...You are trying to control everything. And you don't get to do that. Just because you want something; you can't stomp in and make me do what you want. I'm not one of your crew. I am your wife. And I will make this decision, not you!"

"Babe," Matt reached out for her hand, only for her to pull it away.

"Matt," she hissed as she hoisted herself up from the chair, batting away the helping hands of Matt that had started to encircle her waist. "We both agreed that I would decide when I would stop working…" Gabby was exhausted, but she wasn't willing to let Matt have the satisfaction of being right. "Right now, I'm okay - let me be. I'll tell you when I'm ready to stop… You just need to trust me Matt." With one last look, she left the room.

A deep sigh later, Matt let himself slump into the chair and threw his head backwards. "Well done Matthew," he muttered to himself in a low voice. Letting a fist come bouncing down onto the tabletop, he decided it was best to let Gabby come to the decision on her own. He knew that if it became a serious issue - he would take a firm step in - go all Lieutenant Casey, maybe he just needed to trust her.

He loved his wife; for all her fiery determination. Best just to leave it for now. Still didn't stop the frustration from spreading through his mind.

* * *

"Hima?" Antonio questioned as he watched Gabby push the food around her plate, seemingly distracted.

Gabby and Antonio had decided to catch up for dinner the following night, Matt was doing his normal 24 hour shift at the firehouse and deep down Gabby was relieved to put some space between them. There was some low level tension simmering between them that Gabby knew they would have to deal with their issues sooner rather than later. They had managed to have a civil breakfast before they parted ways, each going to their respective places of work. Matt had seemed to have left their early morning conversation alone and just gotten on with it.

Judging by the numerous messages that Matt had sent her during the day - he was trying to make amends and tell her he was backing off, he wasn't too adversely affected by their early morning conversation. Gabby, on the other hand, had managed half a day at the academy before she needed to come home. Luckily for Gabby most of her work for the day could be completed at home - and straight after lunch she had fallen asleep on their living room armchair.

"Gabs?" Antonio's concerned voice raised her out of her latest daydream. Her sparkling water had been left untouched and usually when he started telling her about his kids she would act more interested and engaged. Antonio had been hoping to get the family together for a meal before Eva and Diego's cousin arrived. He was sure that they hadn't seen their Tia Gabby for a few months now - since she had announced she was pregnant actually.

But there sat a very quiet Gabby - he had been expecting his sister to be joking around, poking fun at his latest accident he had managed at work. But not one sassy comment, something was definitely wrong. The dull, quiet expression didn't once lift when he told her of his family plans - she loved her niece and nephew. His protective older brother senses started to tingle.

It was such a concern for Antonio that he nearly missed Gabby's small voice. A tone that was rarely heard from Gabby Dawson.

"How did you do it 'Tonio?" A questioning look crossed his face, not completely sure what it was that Gabby wanted to know. "How did you and Laura do it? …Eva and Diego - they know all about it, our Spanish life. What am I supposed to do? What do I do with the Spanish language, Matt doesn't speak it… Our culture… Our language…" Gabby trailed off looking down at her plate.

It wasn't until Gabby sat down with her brother and heard him talk about his own children and how well that they were doing that it even occurred to her. She and Antonio were close, very close. They were the complete opposite to the Casey siblings. And there was a whole other language for her to express herself in. Whether it was her Mama or Papá, even Antonio - she could pick up the phone and say one word in Spanish and they just understood. And that same situation could be an hour long conversation with Matt and they wouldn't ever reach the same depth.

"Smudge won't have the same cultural identity as me… I keep hearing and reading that it's so much harder to raise a bilingual child when only one parent teaches the other language. And what about all of those facets of our culture which can resist translation…"

"You mean, you describing Matt as te quiero when you first started at 51?" teased Antonio thinking back to a time when he and Gabby had been drinking at a bar discussing her new workmates. Time and time again a certain lieutenant had been mentioned, and there had been no English words for a highly embarrassed Gabby to use after Antonio started being the older brother he could be and teased her.

Gabby stared him down with a look.

"Gabby, some things are lost, others are gained. Our family has developed its own florid language. When Eva was first born, Laura and I would tuck her in and we would kiss her goodnight and she would say "goodnight" and "buenas noches." We dance to many kinds of music and yes, all our foods are delicious. Eva and Diego grew up with a wider set of perspectives and influences. It doesn't mean that your life will be like the opening ceremony at the Olympics." Antonio reached across to grasp his sister's hands.

This was different for them, Gabby never had a problem sharing with him. But lately she had been showing her vulnerable side much more openly. Hormones were evidently running rampant.

"Gabs," he continued without dropping her hands. "We were both born here and that shapes us. Matt and Laura are the same. Eva and Diego's backgrounds are complex - and my niece's…"

"Or nephew," Gabby interrupted.

"My niece," insisted Antonio, "Will have that same complex background. But Gabriela, love feels the same in English and Spanish…"

Gabby sniffed slightly, cursing her emotions. "Hima, tell me," he ordered.

She hung her head slightly as the words started to pour out of her… Words that she still wasn't ready to tell Matt, her own husband. "I find that my exhaustion and my insomnia are really messing with my emotions, and God knows my emotions are already crazy these days to begin with. I'm about to get really vulnerable here, so bear with me…I question myself a lot. What if I'm not going to be a good mom? What if I screw everything up, and he ends up making those same mistakes I did? What if I can't hold him after he's born? What if I don't even _want_ to hold him? What if I'm not cut out for this? What happens if I can't nurse, or connect?" A long tear ran slowly down her cheek. Silently Antonio pushed his chair closer towards her and brushed away the tear with a napkin that was laid on her lap.

"Gabby… It's okay," he whispered. "Every new parent has these thoughts. Before Eva was born I was scared I would drop her or that she would never bond with me… Guarantee Casey is thinking the same..."

But Gabby continued on, her voice much lower than before, almost as if she hadn't heard a word that he had spoken. "...Obviously, it's just a lot of fear, and these fears creep in during those alone moments in my late-night waking hours, so much worse when Matt is on shift. They swim in the depths of my mind, so I can just squeeze my eyes shut and ask for some relief from these thoughts, for them to be wiped away from my mind…"

"You just need rest Gabby."

"But I feel like sometimes these emotional roller coaster rides are taking me on some amazing upswings too. I've been feeling some amazing joy, peace, and happiness that I can't express either. So, there's a fair balance between the dark and the light, I'd say…. And I don't know how to tell Matt any of this. Last night he want to talk about me finishing with the CFD… And all I could do was accuse him of controlling me."

Antonio chuckled as he pulled his sister into his side for a hug. "He understands Gabby - he understands and knows more than you think… He just wants to help you and protect you and that baby of yours. When I first met Casey, I knew that he was going to be around for a long time. And I've gone scary big brother on him. But he loves you Gabs. Men just want to protect their family, and he's just doing that. I wouldn't expect anything less…"

Gabby turned to smile at her brother. "Wanna feel something weird?" she questioned as she guided her brother's closest hand towards her bump. "Feels like Smudge is dancing over the bottom of my ribs," she laughed.

Antonio's face lit up, "It's my strong little niece - strong Dawson girl, just like her Mama."

* * *

"So when is she finishing up at the academy?" Severide questioned as he met Casey in the empty break room. Slightly startled, the Truck Lieutenant looked up from the newspaper he was reading. Severide hadn't been the only one to have noticed that something wasn't quite right with Casey, and if even Severide could notice it without Kidd having mentioned it then it must have been a serious mood. Herrmann had even mentioned that it was reminiscent of that time that Casey had made them clean the station from top to bottom, side to side and then some more.

That particular comment had unfortunately been overheard by the sullen lieutenant and drills in the freezing cold of a Chicago winter had not been enjoyed by any member of the truck company. Kidd especially had a few choice words hissed into Herrmann's ear about what he should and shouldn't say - particularly in earshot of particular people.

Casey grunted in reply. He hoped that if he stayed silent for long enough Severide would take the hint and leave him be.

Severide gave a slight scoff as he pulled out a chair next to what had become Casey's seat. He impatiently tapped his foot against the floor

"Ask my wife," came the sullen reply, "I sure as hell can't." With that Casey violently stood and stomped his way into his office.

 _~ Because her taste buds are developed, she may acquire a preference for the foods you eat, which she samples when she swallows amniotic fluid ~_

* * *

 **It's been a crazy start to Semester Two for me; coupling that with a new position at work and uni starting again. But I am hoping that it won't be too long between chapters.**

 **Let me know what you think – go on, press the little review button and make my day :)**


	31. Week 33 - Tiny Smoke Eater

**And so cometh another week… This chapter has been sitting in my writing folder on my desktop for most likely nearly a year. I, for the most part, have been writing my chapters in order but this one was mostly written back this time last year, if not before.**

 **A few shout outs:**

 **MissCiccisweden** **–** **I'm not too sure if I am going to keep going after I get to end when Smudge arrives. I have had a few thoughts on seeing some particular points in their lives, but if will likely depend on if there is any interest and if I have the inspiration.**

 **Guest who left a lovely review for myself, ItsWhatIWrite, Jewel & Ducky – THANK YOU! It was such a lovely review and I would have liked to respond to you personally. I can't speak for the other girls but I love when people let me know what they like and why they like it. It means so much when someone tells me their personal opinions of my story, so thank you – hope you enjoy this chapter. **

**And to everyone else who reviews – thank you. I am glad that you are still enjoying the story, even if the updates are a bit here and there.**

 **And whilst I'm on my thankyous because we're not sure when we'll get to another chapter as much as we would love for it to be soon – a massive thank you to everyone who favourited, followed and reviewed Rebecca and my latest venture 'Running In Circles'. Bear with us, it might be a while for another chapter but the entire storyline comes from a special place for me and I'm sure Rebecca too. We feel like we need to tell this story and we want to do it justice.**

* * *

 _Week Thirty Three_

 _~ Candidate is size of a pineapple ~_

Gabby groaned as she tried to lift herself out of the rocking chair in the nursery where she had found herself finally falling asleep. Sighing as she looked around the nursery there was still a heap that she felt that she needed to do. It would only be seven or so short weeks before baby made his or her appearance. Whilst she was pretty uncomfortable at the moment, she was still able to do many of the things she wanted to do independently.

That wardrobe needed organising. At the moment it was bare with a few wicker baskets laying around the floor and some hangers in the cupboard itself. Most of the clothes that she and Matt had purchased were sitting atop the dresser waiting to be washed first. Her parents were coming home to Chicago this week and Adriana had been on the phone numerous times to tell her that family members were sending back various presents for them and not to go shopping for any more baby related items just yet. Cindy Herrmann had also sent a message that she and the other fire ladies were sorting out a shower for Gabby once she finished work - yes, they were cutting it fine should anything happen; but again everyone was reminding her that she shouldn't buy any more clothing just yet.

Therein lay some frustration. Gabby had the energy to be working on the nursery right now. It largely lay untouched from when Matt and the boys had worked on it previously. The room needed more finishings than anything else.

She would be finishing up at the Academy next week and had submitted all the paperwork that she thought she needed to. It was a call that she had made at the beginning of this week, and firmed it all up with the academic heads after shift on Monday. It had always been on the cards that she would finish somewhere between her 34th and 37th week. At least she hoped she had done everything, especially after the all-nighter she had had when she had finished her marking a week or so ago. Actually Gabby was going to miss some of her students and she would happily serve on Ambo with many of them. Even some of the female firefighter candidates had come by to thank her and wish her well. She was so impressed to find that just a few short years after she had finished at the academy there were more females in the firefighting classes. But she still had a week to go next week and there were plenty of other things that she needed to get done this weekend.

Things had seemingly calmed down between Matt and herself, neither of them had brought up their early morning disagreement from the previous week. It had probably been more of a one sided disagreement; Matt wanting her to do one thing and whilst she agreed with him on some level she didn't want to admit that.

Nevertheless, there had been a very clear sign of relief gracing Matt's face on Saturday night when she had informed him that she would leave the Academy and start her leave by the end of her 34th week. No matter how much she tried there was still a level of frustration in her thinking, and she couldn't seem to shake that feeling that he had been trying to control her.

Thirty three weeks into her pregnancy and Gabby was starting to realise that there was so much that wasn't in her control anymore, her body was no longer her own and when Smudge arrived nothing would be the same. Gabby Dawson - PIC the one who was always in control of a situation; nothing ever too hard to be on top of was going to be giving way to Gabby Casey who was still learning to go with the flow. And it was hard to do.

Conversations needed to be had - it all seemed peaceful between them however Gabby knew that she was harbouring some resentment towards her husband. There was a constant replay in her mind of Antonio reminding her that Matt was just being a protective husband and that every man would be like that. Yet it was difficult for her to sit back and accept that. And sooner or later it was going to come exploding out of her in the worst possible way. She needed to get ahead of it and smooth things over. Talk to him like they had been committed to trying. No more running away from their problems. But she had forgiven Matt, deep in her heart, she knew that he was just doing the best for her. No one could ever accuse Matt Casey of not loving and protecting his family.

All those things that she had shared with Antonio - all of those fears, maybe it was time that she said all those things to Matt. They weren't going away. And she supposed that the best time to bring it all up wasn't going to be when she was in labour. Gabby laughed slightly at the sheer thought of it… She needed to work this out in the next eight weeks. They had worked so hard at communicating that she just knew that taking a step away from that, no matter how little it seemingly was, was a step going back to who they were years ago.

Shaking her head to rid them of those thoughts Gabby made her way into their bedroom on a hunt for a specific item.

Pulling out the bag she had intended to take to the hospital, Gabby looked around the room, thinking that she might start packing. She knew that she was making one too many plans and she was doing the Type-A thing and trying to control everything. Since there were so many variables that she couldn't control, Gabby was determined to take a strong hold on the things that she could. Natalie had passed on a few times that she didn't need to pack until she was at least 36 weeks. That hadn't been helped when she found a light dressing gown that she thought would be perfect for the hospital.

It took her a few backward and forwards trips between the nursery and the master bedroom before she finally eased herself into a chair thought about what she could realistically pack at 33 weeks. She had reasoned that 37 weeks was considered full term and really that was only weeks away, she could count that in days. She needed to be prepared. Gabby could picture Matt rolling his eyes at her for that.

She didn't spend too long in the end, after trying to find some warm socks to pack she finished off by placing some baby clothes and diapers in the bag before she decided that what she really want to do was cook. Three steps out of the room, she turned back towards the armchair remembering that she hadn't washed any of the baby clothes. Fluffing out the tiny items, Gabby couldn't believe that Smudge was ever going to be as small as to fit into these bits of material. Leaving them on the dresser, Gabby made a mental note to do a load of delicates once she finished up at work.

Slowly making her way downstairs into the kitchen, Gabby paused at the fridge looking at the photo taken a few weeks ago by Janine, again with the bunker boots on top of her belly. Poor Smudge, if he didn't take to being a first responder there might be a huge uproar. During the latest photo session, it was only Matt in his uniform, she had tried to get her turnout coat on, but no dice; it had fit her shoulders but no way was she getting it closed over her belly. Gabby had always loved all of these photos that were scattered around the house, firehouse and her parents' house.

It was a good thing that they weren't using their chalkboard as a place to keep any list anymore. It was too full of various family photos. She laughed slightly as she noticed what she thought had to be the funniest photo of them yet; both had their casual clothes on, Gabby's hands linked under her belly and Matt using his helmet as a faux belly.

Remembering back to the cool day Gabby snickered as she remembered the absolute look of horror that flashed over Matt's face when Janine even suggested using his helmet in that sort of way. Janine had also mentioned that it could make for a really sweet newborn photo to place their little bundle into Matt's helmet.

And while she couldn't get her turnout coat on there had been a photo from their first photo session that she wanted to recreate. So Matt had braved the cold in only his long-sleeved grey shirt, whilst Gabby had worn his turnout coat; she couldn't get it buttoned up but the effect was still there. Matt was stood behind her, the jacket brushed back, his hands had snaked under his coat and rested on her belly. Protecting their little Smudge nestled away, growing a little more day by day.

She wiped a tear away as she looked at the photo, Gabby had prided herself on being a strong independent woman who didn't need a man to make her life, but here she was tearing up over missing her husband.

Sighing to herself, she placed her hand on her belly. "You know bebé I really miss Daddy at the moment. He looks after us so well." She laughed to herself as the baby kicked back in response. "What's say we make some food and go and visit Daddy at work?" she questioned out aloud before moving her way towards the pantry, albeit slower than she normally would.

30 odd years Gabby had been living in Chicago, her whole life and still she wasn't used to the cold, cold winters that they experienced. Pregnancy, however, had given Gabby her own personal heater, here she was waddling around her kitchen in yoga pants and a t-shirt. Her eyes flicked over the ingredients that lay atop of the counter wondering what it was she might be able to make. She knew that sancocho would be such a treat, especially for Cruz. That boy loved any food, specifically Dominican food that she brought in. And she was sure that Cruz wouldn't have had too many Dominican meals lately, especially living with Otis. Gabby almost felt responsible for making sure that Cruz had a few home cooked treats from their shared culture every now and then.

She found the family cookbook that her mother and grandmother had given to her for her 21st birthday. Flicking through until she found their family sancocho - they had an 'everyday' version with beef and then the more deluxe Sancocho de Siete Carnes; the one with seven types of meat. It took a little over 45 minutes for her to prepare all the meat; it had never taken her that long to prepare just the beef. She was letting it rest and marinate when the pot of water finally boiled. Two steps towards the pot, she figured that it was much too hot to be cooking this. Gabby had already started to sweat.

Reasoning that there were some over foods that she could much easier cook in the oven so she didn't have to lean over hot water, having the steam blow up into her face. Not to mention that she would need to be on her feet for much longer, stirring and looking after it for at least an hour. She could figure something else out to do with the meat, actually the longer it marinated, the better it would be. Smiling to herself Gabby turned back to her cookbook to see what else she had ingredients for that she might be able to make.

It had been a while since she had made Albóndigas de Res, she thought to herself as she opened the freezer. And there staring her right in the face were the frozen meatballs that her mother had made with her a few months ago. She was pretty sure she could do a quick defrost of them whilst she made the sauce. Once everything was put together she would be able to sit down and just watch it all.

And without even realising it Gabby had the meatball stew on, rice cooking and a few other dishes cooking in the oven. Still feeling hot, she shed her outer long sleeve shirt whilst flicking through her pregnancy book. Gabby had to laugh when one of the first things she noticed about the 33rd week - 'There's still room in the uterus for your baby to exercise her limbs and she's getting much stronger and more active. You'll know all about it!'

As if on cue Smudge elbowed hard just underneath her ribs leaving her gasping for a breath. She had become used to Smudge's movements coming mainly from side to side, but still, she never knew where the kicks were next going to come from. Chuckling to herself once more, Gabby found some music on her phone and started to sway to the gentle tones. Slowly she rocked her weight from one foot to the other, her hand going to the underside of her stomach supporting the extra weight she carried. Moments later Smudge's movements started to slow, obviously, the swaying had had the desired effect in rocking Smudge to sleep.

* * *

Dawson was greeted with an announcement of the speakers as she walked onto the apparatus floor - "Tiny smoke eater in the house." Laughing to herself, she juggled the dishes she was carrying trying to work out how to lift them far enough above her belly so she could walk comfortably. It was a slow walk; it was becoming the norm for her to walk around these days more often than not naturally holding up her bump. It was actually helping out with some extra support and felt like it was giving her back and pelvis a break. So this was a very slow walk for her.

"Whoa Mama," Cruz jumped up from the Squad table to take the dishes from her, Severide close behind to take the last one. "Whatcha ya being cooking? Please say sancocho?" he pleaded lifting the lid to sniff the heavenly aroma of the meat.

Severide and Dawson both gave him a look, one confused and the latter 'as if'

"Cruz, it's too hot for that… Too hot in the kitchen for me to make that," she clarified.

"Hot? It's not that hot Dawson! We're in the middle of a very cold Chicago winter," Cruz couldn't have looked more confused even if he had tried. There were some very unusual words coming out of Dawson's mouth right now, if he looked over and past Gabby's shoulder he could see the snow gathering on the ground.

Instinctively he pulled his coat closer to his body with his free hand.

"You try lugging around your own personal heater and tell me it's not hot Cruz."

Cruz had the decency to look embarrassed. Seeing him open his mouth ready to apologise, Dawson decided to put him out of his misery.

"No, I've got rice, Habichuelas Guisadas, Pollo Guisado, Albóndigas de Res and a salad…. There might even be some Empanaditas Dulces if you're lucky." Cruz's mouth was watering just hearing about it. He placed a quick kiss on her cheek. He quickly handed over the food to Severide to allow him to place into the kitchen area.

"You're the best Mama. So more in the car?" he called as he walked towards the common room. "Hey Otis, come help grab some food."

"Dawson, is there anything normal for us to actually eat?" Severide teased.

"Pfft… In a mood for traditional food so that's what I'm cooking. Sure there is an apple around for you Severide," she finished as she walked towards the door leading into the house itself. Severide gave a brief half smile as he passed the food onto Capp and Tony, ordering them into the common room with it.

"Dawson?" a voice called out from the common room

"Brett?" she called back as the young blonde came hurtling towards her, meeting her in the hallway.

"Wow, look at you," Brett exclaimed pulling her into a hug, albeit struggling slightly to get her arms around her.

"Damn girl," Kidd whistled. "You're lookin' good."

"Feel as fat as a house," she scoffed.

"We didn't want to say anything Dawson, but…" Severide joked as he walked past the group.

"SEVERIDE!" Kidd admonished as she punched him in the arm, hard.

"Pack a punch there Kidd," Herrmann said as he wandered past.

"What did he do this time?"

Severide made an attempt to look innocent. "Me?"

"You!" glared Kidd. "Making fun of the pregnant one."

"Nah, he's right. I'm huge, I don't think I can actually stretch anymore. There is no way I could possibly get any bigger. And I feel exhausted, just can't sleep."

"Still a bit longer to go kid," comforted Herrmann as he pulled her in for a side hug. "There's still plenty of room to get a bit bigger," he reminded her. As she shot him a glare, he too hurried off.

"So what are you doing here then?" Brett queried, looking worriedly at her friend.

"I needed to cook and then I needed to get out of the house."

"Gabby?" Casey's confused voice rang out; sure he had heard her voice. She shouldn't be here, there was a list of errands that she had wanted to run today and she had also mentioned a few loose ends she wanted to tie up at the academy too.

"Better get moving if you want food," Jimmy commented as he followed the smell into the kitchen, rushing towards the food making sure he was in front of Otis in the food line.

Dawson followed the rest of the crew in, a touch faster than she should have. It was a mix of baby brain and pure stubbornness that she still tried to keep up with everyone at her usual rate of going fast. However, what she was forgetting was that her centre of gravity had shifted and she couldn't see the ground as well anymore. Just before she reached the kitchen area she stumbled, falling forward.

"Whoops," Dawson chuckled as she tumbled into Casey's waiting arms.

"Hey, hey. You need to slow down," Casey gently chastised as he placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Lieutenant," Kidd started. "I'm sure Dawson knows how to walk properly. I'm sure she has been able to do it for herself since she was a young child."

"You'd be surprised," Herrmann interrupted. "Centre of gravity has changed. Not surprised that Dawson is nearly falling over."

"Hey! Right here," Dawson grumbled. Casey smiled slightly as he tightened his arms around her ever expanding waistline.

"Mama?" Cruz called out walking through the common room holding on the containers of food Dawson had brought in, Otis trailing behind him. "Where should I put these?"

"Just on the counter, they should be ready to serve," Dawson told them as she extracted herself from Casey's grasp. As she moved forward from the spot she stood with Casey her hands moved around to her back, her thumbs placed towards her spine, rubbing in small circles.

"Oh no you don't," Casey warned, his own hands going to the small of her back.

"But they won't know what it is," protested Dawson.

"Doesn't matter, they will eat it anyway," informed Casey. Dawson looked around and watched the rest of them nodding along in confirmation. After a beat, Dawson conceded and guided Casey's hand to the spot where she was feeling the most pain. Casey's thumb seemed to hit the sore spot a bit better than she could ever reach. She pushed his hand down a bit more, closing her eyes as she let some comfort wash over her.

"Hey," he whispered into her ear. "Let's get you off your feet," he told her as she was guided towards a chair, before he disappeared off to get himself some food, pushing Severide out of the way to get ahead of him. He shot Severide a smirk as the squad lieutenant grunted at him, "Got to get in before you, or else there will be no food!"

Dawson grinned, missing the general hubble in the house. She nodded slightly at Otis as he deposited her keys back to her. Sitting down she found that Brett had placed a plate of food in front of her. "Brett, thanks. But that's way too much."

Brett looked confused. Casey shook his head as he lifted the plate off the table and added to his own plate. "It's better for her to eat a number of smaller meals, rather than three big meals," he said as he held up Dawson's plate for her inspection. "Rather not deal with the heartburn later," he joked as he took his usual seat at the head of the table.

Accepting the plate back she leaned back slightly as she let the house chatter wash over her, how she had missed this. She watched as Cruz shovelled food into his mouth like there was no tomorrow, he had made at least two more trips back up for more food. And she watched as Kidd inched closer and closer to Severide as if no one else was watching, actually Dawson was sure that most of the company hadn't noticed. A small smile unfurled across her face as Kidd let out a giggle when Severide dug a long finger into her side tickling her. It had been a long time since she had seen such a smile on Severide's face and she was glad that it was her friend that had managed to help him out.

A while later Dawson stood ready to put her empty plate away. A short sharp gasp fell from her lips as she felt a sharp sensation run up and outwards towards her hips and her hands moved towards her lower belly.

Everyone around the table moved to get up and began to crowd around her. "Whoa," she called out. "Everyone back down. I'm okay… Everyone go sit back down!" she ordered. She shot a hard glare around the table until they went back to their own activities.

"Hey," Casey whispered softly as everyone else resumed eating. "Look at me," he told her as she shuffled towards him, trying to catch her breath. "Ligament pain?"

"Sure it wasn't something else?" Herrmann questioned, he took shuffling his chair closer to Casey's. "Braxton's?"

"Round ligament pain," confirmed Dawson as she was pulled down onto Casey's lap. "Only happens when I get up suddenly," she finished as Casey began to caress her belly.

Herrmann regarded her carefully, looking her up and down as if there was a need to satisfy himself that there really wasn't anything happening. A few concerned looks and short while later he turned back to his food satisfied there was nothing he could do to help.

Conversations started to flow around Dawson as she snuggled into Casey's embrace. Slowly the lull of the conversation Dawson started to close her eyes, who would have ever thought that would ever happen in the noisy center that was Firehouse 51. It wasn't until Cruz addressed her that she even opened her eyes.

"So did I hear something about Empanaditas Dulces?" Cruz asked.

"Say what?" came Herrmann's voice.

Casey chuckled at the sight of Herrmann's twisted face. "Fruit jam turnovers," he informed the group. "What? I've learned something about Dominican food, especially how good Adriana's Empanaditas Dulces are. You better leave me some Cruz."

"In that red plastic container that I brought in, by the coffee machine Joe," Dawson pointed out. "There are some other sweets in the container next to it too."

Cruz gleefully rubbed his hands together as he reached the container, wrestling it out of the way of Otis' grabby hands. Filling his plate, he gave Dawson's shoulders a quick squeeze in thanks, "I would give you a hug but I don't think the lieutenant would appreciate that," he laughed. The look on Casey's face said it all as Cruz swiftly moved towards the end of the table.

Once the laughter stopped the rest of the house got up to find something more to eat whilst Casey continued to rub circles on Dawson's tummy. Casey smiled gratefully as Severide left a turnover within his grasp. There was little chance for the squad lieutenant to protest before Casey had swiped it off the table and taken a bite.

"You snooze, you lose," Casey laughed in Severide's face, one that was shocked that he had lost his dessert. Grumbling Severide made his way to his feet back towards the food.

"Hey, didn't get a chance to say hello earlier," Casey spoke softly into his wife's ear, once he had finished the sweet. Dawson smiled as she leaned down to capture Casey's lips, licking the remaining sugar from his lips.

"Hey yourself."

A moan broke them out of their thoughts. "Dawson, your mother should sell these."

Dawson shook her head as she watched the group around her settle back into eating again, Cruz and Otis were playing cards, Mouch and Herrmann were watching TV and the rest of squad had disappeared back out to their table.

Dawson made a move to get up off of Casey's lap, knowing that she was heavier now and sooner or later it would become too much for him. But Casey held her fast, tightening an arm around her hips.

"I'm too heavy," protested Dawson as she tried to wriggle out of his grasp one more time.

Casey silenced her with a kiss, shaking his head, before turning to the newspaper that lay on the table. Dawson raised an eyebrow momentarily before moving on. Turning to her left slightly she began a conversation with Kidd and Brett about what was happening in their lives.

"So tell me about this new guy Miss Brett?" prodded Dawson.

Brett gave them a bright smile before starting off about the new accountant that she had been seeing, gushing about how sweet he was and the many romantic dates they had been on during the last short week or so. Brett had decided after the day out the three girls had spent together, that enough was enough. There was no time to keep feeling sorry for herself. If there was a guy out there for her, and she was sure there was, then she was going to find him. And therefore the next time she saw this same accountant at Molly's again, she accepted the drink that he bought her, and willingly agreed to a dinner.

A few minutes later Dawson's attention was drawn to a spot just under her right ribs where the baby was repeatedly kicking her, hard. One such kick actually took her breath away for a moment. It was too uncommon for her to become breathless as Smudge kicked, she was just learning how to live with it now. It stopped and she was just about to go back to her conversation when she noticed that whilst Casey had one hand cradling her belly, he wasn't involved in any of the conversations. Rather he was gently prodding the side of her belly trying to get a reaction, obviously he had become bored with the news. He would poke and then lay his hand flat, enjoying the thump he felt and then prod a bit lower and the process would start again. Dawson looked over at him and took in the look of pure love that Casey's face showed. He would have the same look when he had his face level with her stomach talking to Smudge. Dawson really didn't want to say anything but it was getting really uncomfortable. She was just going to let him be and went back to her conversation with the girls, hoping that she could handle how uncomfortable it was.

"Erk," she squeaked as the baby kicked her in the rib. "Matthew! Stop it," she admonished, her own hand rubbing the spot just whacked, her other hand moving over to flick Casey's ear as a form of telling off.

The girls gave him an odd look. Neither of them could quite understand what was happening. Their normally reserved lieutenant had a cheeky half smirk on his face. "Smudge and I are playing a game," he admitted.

Dawson gave him a look. "You mean you're winding him up… And I'm getting punched in the process," she said as she proceeded to lift herself up off the chair.

Brett gave a giggle at the couple. "Oh no you don't Sylvie Brett… Matt loves doing this… pressing my belly for a response. It's his favourite pastime at the moment. Don't encourage him," Dawson firmly told her. Casey had taken to interacting with baby a few weeks after he had first felt Smudge move, for a few weeks in the middle baby had actually started to ignore Casey's playful pokes, however then he had taken to poking both sides of the belly and chatting away to it too. Now Smudge was back on board with 'playing' with Daddy.

"Did I just hear HIM?" Kidd shrieked. "SEVERIDE," she hollered, "you owe me 50 bucks."

"What you on about woman?" Severide replied as he came in from the apparatus floor.

"Wow Stella. What a foghorn, no one should be able to be heard on the floor from here," Dawson mumbled deadpan as she carefully made her way to her feet.

"I heard her distinctly say him in relation to the baby," Kidd stated.

"Us too," piped up Otis.

"You guys," Dawson said exasperatedly. "It's just a pronoun… Although I'm surprised that you haven't heard Casey here continually say him."

Everyone turned towards the Truck Lieutenant, mouths open with questioning looks.

Casey shrugged noncommittally, "Just a thought."

Gabby shook her head and continued, "Tomorrow you might hear me say she's wriggling around in there. Especially if your lieutenant can't keep his hands to himself and keeps prodding her," she laughed.

"Hey…." Casey got up to defend himself. "I was your lieutenant once too," he said as he wrapped his arms around her once more. "Damn hot one too," he added quietly into her ear.

"Geeze 'Tenant, can't you keep your hands off of her?" Herrmann asked.

"How do you think she got that way in the first place?" fired over Kidd.

"Well, he should know, he's got five kids of his own," added Mouch.

Dawson yawned in spite of herself. "Go have a lie down in my bed," suggested Casey.

"Matt," Dawson started in a warning voice.

"Casey… Leave the poor woman alone," Severide started. "Surely she knows how tired she looks," he teased.

"Oi!" defended Casey as he brought her closer into his arms. "No need for that Sev."

"Defensive," tutted Severide.

"Don't mind him," Dawson told Severide as she swatted Casey's arm. "He's just being all over-protective of Smudge and me. Gives him something to do."

Casey gave the entire house a mock frown as he rested his hand on the bump. "Hey… Smudge here likes it," he protested, the laugh evident in his voice as he felt a series of thumps against his hand.

Dawson gave him her 'oh really' look as she heard the alarms go off.

"Rest!" ordered Casey before he took off after the rest of the truck guys. "And leave the dishes alone," he threw over his shoulder. "Jimmy can do them when we get back." Jimmy's eyes widen at the statement.

"Anyone would think I'm still the candidate here," he muttered under his breath as he made his way to his position in the back seat.

Dawson smiled gently as she watched everyone rush out of the house, rubbing the lower side of her bump as she felt a series of rapid kicks. "Yeah I know bebé, Mama wants to be out with them too." Slowly she made her way into Casey's office stopping briefly to pick up her bag that had been unceremoniously discarded in the common room.

She flung her jumper onto Casey's bed as she opened the door. For some reason his office seemed to be much warmer than the common room; he must have left a heater on. Dawson looked around to see if she could see where it had been placed, but it was much too high up for Dawson to reach the off switch.

Easing herself down onto Casey's chair, she pondered for a moment if it would be possible to swipe one of the more comfy chairs from the office area… She even pondered if she could convince someone to take the couch into his office. She would even be able to nap on that one. She looked down for a moment or two noticing for the first time that her belly button had finally popped out. It was weird to think what was happening to her body, all the changes she could see and those she could only feel.

Reaching into her bag, she pulled out a leather CFD book. She had managed to get her mitts on a few more so she hadn't felt bad about turning one of them into a journal for baby Casey. It didn't matter what anyone said, this child was a smoke eater through and through. And when she first found the letter that Casey had written, she had wanted a way to preserve it and the many more that they would likely write to Smudge. And this was perfect for them. Since she had decided that this was its purpose she had worked on putting it together for Smudge, some letters, mostly hers, were written directly into the book, whilst others had been slotted into pockets that were glued into the book. Now they had a chronological order to the letters that had been written by them both.

Reaching over for a pen, Dawson tapped it thoughtfully as she thought about what it was she might write tonight. Turning once more in Casey's chair, Dawson decided that this just wasn't comfortable enough. Noticing that there was a number of pillows on Casey's bunk she swiftly moved, well as swiftly as she could - it was more of a shuffle, Gabby shuffled out towards Kidd's bunk to 'borrow' her spare pillow.

Settling down into Matt's bunk, she started to tap the pen lid thoughtfully against her teeth.

 _Smudge…_

 _Smudge, just 52 days to go! These says I can never quite wrap my head about how soon you're going to be here. There's still so much more to get ready before you arrive - so don't you get any smart ideas and arrive early. We might have your nursery ready - but Mama is sorely in need of some basic baby items for you. Abuela keeps telling me that we still have a baby shower to come and that I should wait until after that to go and buy the rest of your things._

 _I'm sitting here at Firehouse 51, it's always felt like a second home to both Daddy and I. And it occurs to me, I don't know what Daddy has written to you or if he's even told you about our second family… But they are such a big part of our lives._

 _Just wait 'till you meet your dad. He's fantastic. I just know he's going to be such a wonderful daddy to you. I always wanted a man with the biggest, most beautiful heart I could find. And that's your Daddy. He cares so deeply and shares himself so openly with me. I love his honesty and the way he has trouble keeping a secret, even when it's a fun surprise. I completely trust him to take exquisite care of all of our hearts, which is really the most important task of all. I remember the first time I met your Daddy._

 _Daddy is actually quite reserved; he'll keep to himself. Some will even describe it as him having a cool demeanour, it's what Mama would almost call standoffish. He also has a no-nonsense attitude but everyone here at the Firehouse respects him for it. And he won't even stop defending his men even at the risk of his own career. When Mama served under him (shhh we don't talk about that much) she learned so much about being a firefighter._

 _Everyone keeps telling me that you're "one lucky baby" and I agree. I've always thought of myself as one of the luckiest people I know. And I'm so happy to pass on my good fortune to you. In fact, there's no one else I'd rather bless with endless good luck and the ability to appreciate and enjoy it. You are so lucky to be coming into so many families who will love you and spoil you. There is Daddy's family, Mama's family and then there's our fire family… Even though they aren't blood relatives, that changes nothing. I know that they will protect you as much and as fiercely as any family would do so. Mama and Daddy have been part of this family for a long time and we are so incredibly lucky._

 _First there's Uncle Kelly - that's the name that he chose for himself. Your Uncle Kelly, he can't wait to meet you. He is Daddy's best friend and I know that he will love and protect you just as much as Tio Antonio will. He and Daddy met during their training days at the Academy… no one would have ever thought that one day they would end up working, both lieutenants at the same house. Uncle Kelly and Daddy haven't always seen eye to eye but I know he always has our backs. He is an amazing firefighter… he will tell you that for many years he was the youngest person to make Squad… he'll probably tell you this when trying to convince you to join Squad. Bebé, I'm sure that all through your young life you are going to be hearing all about joining Truck or Squad. I don't think it's ever going to be about joining the CFD. I'm sure you'll fast learn that he is very popular with pretty much everyone and he's very good at his job. Uncle Kelly was even one of Mama's instructors at the Academy when she retrained. And you know what Smudge? He'll do anything to protect you, if you turn out to be a girl I don't pity any boy who wants to date you - they'll have to get through Tio Antonio, Uncle Kelly and Daddy just to see you. And that's a pretty long line to move past to get to you._

 _And then there's Aunt Stella - If I'm talking about Uncle Kelly then I need to talk about Aunt Stella. She's a pretty awesome woman to have around. It's been awesome having her on Truck - Aunt Stella and Mama were a force together on Truck 81, I'm pretty sure that Daddy and the rest of the company had no idea what hit them. Nothing is too much for Aunt Stella, she will jump in boots and all to help out. For Aunt Stella it doesn't matter that she is a female firefighter - she's always been able to hold her own in our very male dominated profession. I respect her for that and I like that she's yet another strong female presence in your life. And she does that in every part of her life. Just wait 'til she meets you; I'm sure, Smudge, you're going to be strong like Daddy and me and if you've got even a quarter of our stubbornness then help anyone who looks after you as a child._

 _And then there's Mr. Herrmann - it doesn't seem to matter where Mama and Daddy are; Mr. Herrmann is full of advice and is like a second father to Mama. He's had some hair-brain ideas; he's what you might call a 'general entrepreneur', Mama's just not too sure what is so entrepreneurial about him. But Molly's was all his idea, and I'm thankful for that. I'm sure that when things go wrong when you arrive on the scene plenty of our phone calls are going to the Herrmanns. With five children he's pretty handy with his ideas. And over the past eight months, I know he and Daddy have had many conversations about what life is going to be like with a family of three. He's also the right-hand man on Truck, I know that I can trust Mr. Herrmann to have Daddy's back every time that he walks out the door to serve the Chicago community…._

A few hours later Casey walked in, a smile spreading across his face at the scene in front of him. In the soft light of his lamp beside his bunk shone a soft smile. Gabby had evidently fallen asleep in the middle of doing something. The pen she had been using was still loosely in her grasp, her hand hanging by the edge of the bedding. Her other hand was haphazardly strewn across her swollen belly, her rings catching the light sparkling brightly.

Taking soft quiet steps towards her, he brushed a few stray hairs from her face dropping a quick kiss to her template. Picking up the book that had landed into her lap, Casey's eyes quickly scanned the unfinished letter. Smiling one last time, he tucked the book back into her bag that he found by the feet of his chair and started his reports.

She was right - Smudge's arrival was fast arriving, and everyone was right. Smudge was one lucky baby.

 _~ Lanugo, the fine hair that covered her entire body and helped keep her warm as she developed, is starting to disappear, but there might still be patches of it on her shoulders and back ~_

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed this update – let me know what you thought… And I'm also interested to take a poll to see if you think Smudge is going to be a girl or boy ;)**

 **~Em**


	32. Week 34 - Hallowed Halls

**We are getting so much closer to meeting baby Casey! Let's see if we can meet them before the end of the year, doubt I'll get to it before the mid season break though…**

 **Thanks Rebecca for doing your usual thing! I don't know what I would do without your constant support and help with my rough writing. Jewel – I hope there is a scene in here that lives up to your expectations. And Megan, thanks for saying you wanted a new chapter – here it is for you!**

 **Enjoy the chapter everyone, hope you're all still enjoying these 'weekly' updates of Smudge.**

* * *

 _Week Thirty Four_

 _~ Candidate is the size of a cantaloupe ~_

Matt gathered up the last of his essential items that he needed to leave the house; keys, phone and wallet. A quick look down at his wristwatch told him that he needed to get a move on so he didn't miss roll call. Actually, Gabby needed to hurry up too, or she was going to be late. Over the last few months they hadn't left at the same very often, however the days that they did have to it had tended to be a bit of a panicked rush. Both had become used to getting ready by themselves - so to share the same space was a bit pushed. And today was going to be the last of those rushed ones for a long while.

But Gabby wasn't around. Matt wasn't going to lie; he had been waiting for this day for a while now. He and Gabby were still yet to chat about the 'discussion' they had exchanged that early morning. He knew that they needed to clear the air. Even he could feel a tension of some sort simmering below their everyday lives. But over the last two weeks Gabby had thrown herself into finishing up at the Academy and the nights had she hadn't taken herself down to Molly's, she had almost locked herself away in their office.

Matt drowned the last dregs of his coffee before placing the mug into the sink on a hunt for Gabby. He only managed two steps away from the kitchen bench before he turned on his heel to put the mug into the dishwasher. Gabby had been on and on about how hard it wasn't to load the dishwasher. There was this small little part of him that thought about that nesting thing he had read about - sooner or later Gabby was going to clean the house top to bottom. It wouldn't be such a terrible thing.

And just as quickly as the thought came to him; it left him. Their house was huge and it worried him all the times she would be walking up and down those stairs to clean the house. Glancing down at his watch one more time, it was definitely getting closer to the time that they would need to leave. Last night he had offered to take the day off, drive her to work and be at home when she finished, but she just hadn't wanted it. He was still uncomfortable about it all; but he knew there was no point pushing her on it. Knowing that she hadn't reacted too well the last time he had thought to push her about it, better to let her have her last day at the academy by herself if that was what she wanted.

Slowly he climbed the stairs, trying to push out the thoughts and conversations he wanted to have with her. After their conversation at 3am that one morning, he knew that they needed to sort it out. Gabby needed to know why he did what he did and where it had come from. A conversation with Herrmann last week had solidified in Matt's mind that everything was on ultra-charge, emotions ran high and both of the Caseys were stubborn and could dig their respective heels in. And as Herrmann had reminded him, it didn't matter that whatever he may or may not have said; she would have taken it as someone close to her not trusting her instinct. And that was the problem, Cindy would have done a similar thing, maybe not to the same extreme but nevertheless still would have taken offence. Gabby had spent a fair amount of her fire career fighting to be taken seriously. She had been passed over for her candidacy because she was a woman and the strong Latina woman that she was hadn't taken it lightly. And that was her same approach to everything in her life, including this pregnancy.

It had been a long morning for Gabby, sleep really wasn't getting to the most comfortable part of her days/nights. Every time she had tried to get even close to horizontal last night she had felt like she was going to have a heart attack. There was a tightening of her chest and she felt like she couldn't quite catch her breath, not to mention she felt like she had turned and flipped from side to side at least 586 times. And then she couldn't quite get up and out of bed, almost like she was a turtle stuck on its shell. Combine that with her overwhelming feelings of finally finishing up work.

So as she stood at the vanity that morning putting the last of her mascara on she had all of these emotions and thoughts running through her mind. Likely it was going to be a hell of a day on her emotions and running on such little true sleep was going to make it all the more worse. Squeezing her eyes tightly she attempted to stop the tears leaking out.

Leaning her forearms on the cold sink Gabby tried to stretch her back slightly realising after a moment or two that Smudge had the hiccups. Probably one of the weirder sensations that she had experienced throughout the last few months. Letting her head hang low, a small smile played over her face, enjoying the frequent kicks.

It was all too good to be true when a shot of pain flooded through her body, her face contoured as it felt like Smudge had kicked her in the crotch. A hand went below her belly lifting it up slightly in an attempt to relieve some of the pressure.

"Hey, settle down in there," she told Smudge off lightly. A laugh caught her attention from the doorway.

"Okay?" Matt asked from his position, watching the scene play out in front of himself.

"Your child doesn't know when to stop," she complained good-naturedly rubbing her belly with affection, her hands running from the top of her bump along the sides a few times, vainly hoping that the motion would calm Smudge down.

"You tormenting Mama?" Matt questioned his hand joining hers as Gabby walked towards him. Almost automatically her hands intertwined with his over their child, whilst his hand moved to the small of her back, guiding her back into their room. "Ready for this?"

"Last day?" Gabby inquired as she picked up her name plate to put on whilst kicking her shoes towards the chair so she could do some twist and bend act to get them on. Really she needed to give up wearing lace up shoes, it was becoming harder to do up the laces. "Good as it can be," she confessed.

Matt laughed as he tried to figure out what she was doing. Taking pity on her he took her shoes and gently pushed Gabby towards sitting on the edge of the bed.

Gabby gave a soft chuckle as a memory evaded her consciousness. Matt looked up as he started to tie up her laces, a curious look on his face.

"What?"

"Nothing," she shook her head lightly. "Just thinking about when we were in this exact same position ten or twelve weeks ago. First day at the academy and you were insistent on putting my shoes on. Only now I almost can't reach my feet."

"Seems fitting," Matt mused as he helped her back to her feet.

Pulling him close for a final few moments, Gabby breathed in the scent that she strongly associated with Matt trying to compose herself. As the weeks drew on, the more things that were coming to an end. With one final squeeze, Gabby pushed Matt away.

"Go," she ordered, "Boden will have your head if you're late for shift."

Matt pulled her closer for a second longer before releasing her and taking a step towards the door. "Babe, are you sure?"

"Hmm?" Gabby hummed looking through her bag that sat on their bed. "Sure about what?"

"Are you sure that you don't want me to drive you to the Academy?"

"I can still fit behind the wheel Matt," she commented the laughter evident in her voice.

"Not what I mean Gabby… Babe I can take the day off."

"Go Matt, Boden won't appreciate a phone call this late." She threw a cushion at him to get him moving and out to the firehouse. Matt laughed and waved, digging his keys out of his pocket. Gabby groaned as she hoisted her own backpack up and glared at the item on the floor, that was a mistake. No way that she was going to be able to bend down to pick it up without a whole gymnastic routine. Least Matt could have done was throw it back onto the bed.

* * *

That very morning as she had delivered her last lecture to her EMS students, she had had to hold back the tears. She hadn't been dragged into this job kicking and screaming, but at the same time if she hadn't been pregnant then she wouldn't have ever envisioned herself lecturing at the Academy.

When she finally managed to get back into her office, she had collapsed into her desk chair taking in her surroundings. This would be the last time that she would have to come into this wing of the academy, the last time she sat in this office. A long ten minutes later Gabby heard heavy footsteps signalling many of the other instructors heading out for the late afternoon lecture session; around the halls she had heard that they were going to be doing some evening drills for the fire candidates. And in the middle of the cold season they were having she was glad that it wasn't her out there supervising. Gabby had been hoping to leave with as little a fuss as possible and so far her wish had been granted.

Her fellow lecturers, without the upper brass, had taken her out to dinner last night to thank her for her time here. Ashley, one of the department's newer Ambulance Commanders, was coming in to take her place for the rest of the Academic year. She had done the job a few years ago and Gabby thought she might have been the person training the EMTs when she herself had gone through the Fire Suppression course, it had just been much too hard to find a firefighter/EMT who would be capable of teaching the unit at this short notice. Most would have preferred to take on the unit from the beginning; not have to pick it up in the middle. But Gabby had found that Ashley was a very similar person to herself and held the Emergency Medical Services branch in the same high regard as she did. This was the nature that paramedics needed; not someone who would believe them to second class to the firefighters.

Now Gabby believed she was going to be able to sneak out of the Academy unnoticed. She wasn't sure what she was going to do when she arrived home and she even entertained the idea of dropping by Firehouse 51. Somewhere familiar and homey. Maybe she should have accepted Matt's offer of being home waiting for her. She had definitely underestimated the waves of emotions that she had been experiencing over today. Sighing heavily she pushed herself to her feet.

And she still had a few more items that she needed to clean up, mostly just personal effects that were still stood on her desk. Throwing her open backpack up onto the desk, she grab the framed ultrasound that had sat in the top right hand corner for her entire tenure here; it had changed a number of times - currently it was her thirty two week image along with a photo from their wedding tucked into the side of the frame too. Maybe she could hand it over to Matt or put it into their office at home. Tracing a finger along the profile of Smudge, Gabby gave a small smile before gently placing the image into her bag.

"Instructor Dawson?" a hesitant voice came from behind her. Gabby looked up from her packing. Most of the items had been packed or at least handed over to the Ashley or the various people who would be taking over her duties. Glancing across curiously to the person who had interrupted her, Gabby found a young firefighter candidate stood timidly at her doorway. Scarlett Williams, the quiet reserved young woman from the seminar met her eyes. Gabby had grown quite fond of the female candidates, acutely remembering what it was like to be in their shoes, and she always had the time of day for many of the female firefighters, knowing just how hard it was going to be for them. Scarlett had joined many of the EMT candidates over the past five or so weeks learning what the differences were between the two branches, forming opinions and giving her own views that she was learning from Fire and Suppression.

"Instructor Dawson?" Scarlett took one step into the office.

"Come in candidate," offered Gabby, "I would offer you a seat, but I can't actually find one under the change of personnel and everyone bring their crap in, whilst I'm taking mine out," she laughed.

Scarlett laughed along. She took a deep breath and pulled out a wrapped thin parcel from her satchel. Gabby's eyes widen as she was passed the pale yellow item.

"What's this?"

"Something for you as you finish up Instructor," Scarlett told her motioning for her to open the item.

Still confused Gabby shifted her weight from one foot to another as she turned the thin package over in her hands a number of times. She was pretty sure she could feel a spine, so assumed that it was a book. Ripping the paper at the corners, she pulled out the item to reveal the book Ten Little Fingers and Ten Little Toes. "Williams," she breathed.

"A friend recommended to me… I thought it would be nice…"

"You didn't need to, but thank you, it was so thoughtful of you."

"But I did," Scarlett replied, "You have done so much for us…" Gabby raised her eyebrows in questions prompting her to continue. "That day at the seminar, a lot changed for me Instructor Dawson. I had been questioning my choices of becoming a firefighter, being a woman in the service. And I know that I'm quiet and can be stomped on, it's happened many times in my life. But I've always wanted to become a firefighter; it's that pipeline dream. But after the first few weeks I was questioning whether I needed to think about whether or not I was cut out for this job. Was I as strong as the males? Was I as good as the other females -"

"You are as strong as anyone here," reminded Gabby. There was a line that woman could easily cross, Gabby herself would push herself to the limits and would assert herself in front of most - it had what made her an awesome PIC. That had also driven her to become a firefighter; she saw the same characteristics in Kidd. But she knew that she had crossed that line a number of times, a line that Brett never would, or could and it didn't make her any less of a paramedic. With that in mind, Gabby knew that the young candidate had the potential to be a fantastic firefighter, her heart was in the right spot.

Scarlett gave her a soft smile at Gabby's acknowledgement. "Thank you Instructor. But it was your seminar that made the difference…"

"My seminar?" Gabby's surprise was evident in her voice.

"The seminar that you gave to both the fire and EMT candidates," Scarlett clarified. "It showed me an example of a strong woman working within the CFD, it gave me something to aspire to."

Gabby started to choke up a bit. "Anna… that's …" her voice started to crack. "Women are just as much part of the Chicago Fire Service as any male…" Gabby brought her finger to her face, wiping away the unshed tears before they had a chance to fall.

"It's important to say Instructor, and I wanted to say thank you. Listening to you talk about the two cultures that we have and one that I might be walking into; it was inspiring. I can be part of that change…"

"It's not going to be easy Williams. I struggled to find a house to do my candidateship at. There are houses out there that are still boys clubs and don't like having a female with them… My own house where I had been the PIC, they weren't even sure about having a female. We make up only 2% of the entire department. There may well be discrimination."

"I understand that, and I know nothing will prepare me for that -"

"Hold your head high and know that you are as qualified as any male," reminded Gabby, wishing that this was the attitude of every female candidate. There was still one or two female candidates whose attitude could do with an adjustment in Gabby's opinion.

"And all of that comes back to that first seminar. Watching you and the lieutenant work together seamlessly; it reminded me that I could do this. No matter what anyone says. He respected your opinion and never spoke over you. I get that it's not going to be an instant thing or I may spend my entire career demanding to be treated differently, to be treated just as any male does. But I've wanted this my entire life… And I'm not going to let this stop me," she finished with a much larger smile on her face. Gabby could even see the change in her demeanour in the minutes that she had been standing there.

"And you'll travel far with that attitude," complemented Gabby. "Don't lose it and who knows I might even be serving with you soon."

The young candidate nodded enthusiastically before checking her watch, "Damn," she exclaimed, "We've got that training thing tonight. Instructor, thank you for everything you've done for us."

Gabby smiled warmly at her, "Thank you for the lovely book Williams. You go kick some ass… And good luck with the rest of your candidateship." Scarlett gave one last wave as she headed out of the office.

She kept the smile on her face until she heard the footsteps disappear into the distance. Gabby groaned slightly, shuffling towards the edge of her desk linking her hands under her belly, holding it up slightly. Anything to give her huge bump some extra support, and it also seemed to help with her back discomfort. Honestly, she was feeling like the baby was going to fall out. Walking around and standing for a long time was agony. Rolling her hips slightly, she straighten back up determined to pick up her backpack and actually leave the academy now. She had had enough now and knew she could always come back if she had left anything. One last glance confirmed to her that she was pretty sure that she had everything, zipping her bag up.

It took some minutes more for Gabby to be able to finally shut the door to her office. It had been an interesting few months in this job. Over the last three days many of the other candidates had been dropping by to say goodbye and thank you, Gabby realised that she would happily serve with many of them either on Ambo or Truck. Whilst it hadn't been a 100% hit rate, she was fairly confident that there were changing attitudes towards the two cultures, at least at academy level. Change was happening.

Securing her backpack straps she started off towards her car, thinking about what she might be able to cook for dinner. There had to be leftovers in the fridge or something. Maybe cereal? The further into this pregnancy she got, the less likely she felt like making the effort and cooking when Matt was on shift. Even the idea of eating a large meal put her off. Shaking her head of those thoughts she continued her trek towards the exit.

Passing the drill hall, she looked up at the large sign that was painted above the doors; 'Thru these doors pass the best damn firefighters in the country'. Gabby had her hand on the cold metal handle before she had a thought and turned to hurry off to a quiet corridor.

Dropping her bag on the front counter, quietly she started down the hallway steeped in history and respect.

Gabby's eyes roamed the various metal shields that shone in the light of the hallway, over 570 of them. With one hand resting on the top of her belly, her right hand came up to press against the glass in front of the badge she had been searching for. A sob caught in her throat as she gazed at the plaque _Leslie Shay May 2014_. Shay had been on her mind during her first teaching day and it only seemed right that she came by today too.

There was a reason that the candidates weren't allowed down the wall of fallen heroes. There had always been the understanding and a respect given that after the first day of training the candidates wouldn't be allowed back into the area until their graduation day. And that was still many months away - close to June before they would be walking through this hallway again.

Gabby herself hadn't been in since the candidates' first day, she along with the other instructors had lined the walls around the cabinets and watched solemnly as the candidates had been marched through by the Dean of the Academy. And it was that same day that she had felt that kick in the guts of losing Shay in the warehouse fire, one that she still felt as keenly as she did all those years ago.

Many of the EMT candidates had somewhat naively believed that they didn't seem to be in as much danger as their fire fighting co-workers. But that fateful day in May, it wasn't a firefighter who hadn't made it out; it was her partner, her best friend… The one who she hadn't been able to call when Matt proposed. The one who wasn't by her side when she married the love of her life. Shay had been the one to kick her in the pants when her own fire candidateship had been a struggle and she wanted to give up. It was Shay who had supported her when Jones had come into Firehouse 51 and onto Truck. In those early days after she died the grief came in waves - and there were still times like that.

This was one of those. Gabby closed her eyes, just to imagine what life would be like if Shay was still here. Most likely would have been pestering Gabby about the gender of Smudge and reminding her that Leslie would be the perfect name for little Casey. Shay would have been the best godmother; there would have been no competition. She knew that it was a conversation that she was going to need to have with Matt in the not too distant future; godparents were important to her and her culture. More so than in many cultures Smudge's godparents would be another set of parents - someone to go to when Matt or she wasn't around. Severide was a given; but it had just hit her again - she didn't know confidently who she was going to entrust Smudge too.

Wiping a tear away, she brought her fingertips up to the glass that encased the badge again. Gabby still couldn't quite believe that Shay wasn't here. There were times that she still expected to see Shay laughing along with Severide over some stupid joke.

"What am I doing without you Shay?" she whispered. Breathing deeply a few times, trying in vain to keep the tears at bay. "Who is going to tell me that I'm doing it all wrong with Smudge arrives? Who's going to spoil her? ...And who is going to tease Matt every shift he arrives at late because of Smudge?" she sniffed. "Leslie… I would do anything to have you here…"

"There's no greater love than to lay down one's life for another," whispered Matt, leaning up against the pole a few steps away. Gabby gasped, startled at the intrusion. But there stood Matt, still in his uniform.

"What?" Gabby couldn't quite understand why her husband was standing in front of her, looking at the same badges. But it didn't matter, she had needed him and here he was. Without even needing to be asked, he just knew.

"I spoke to the Chief. I needed to be here today Gabs," Matt explained as he wrapped his arms around her, his hands rest above her belly. "Truck dropped me off."

"I don't know what to do without her Matt," she sniffed as the tears started to fall. "And I don't know what made me come down here… It's full of death…" The words fell from her lips as she allowed herself to cry.

"Hey, hey, hey." Matt turned her body into his own, cradling her body gently. "These badges, they don't represent death Gabby… they represent all the lives they saved… Shay is here, Darden is here. They loved their jobs - none of us know what tomorrow might hold. But we don't give it any less because of that."

* * *

There was a huff from Gabby as Matt swung the back door open for her. The temperatures had started to warm up in Chicago and Gabby was feeling the effects of it. On her way to the stairs, she discarded her handbag and jacket in the mudroom. With one hand on the bannister, she took a deep breath before taking her first step towards her bedroom. It felt like she had run a marathon, after all day on her feet this was becoming normal. Finishing at the Academy was the right decision today, her body was sore and Smudge felt heavy and low down. Every day was like running a full marathon.

Matt quietly watched from the doorway as Gabby slowly removed her name plate and placed it into the small jewellery box that stood on her dressing table. Even slower she removed her shield carefully as not to damage her shirt. Silently Gabby stood still as a statue, eyes locked onto the shiny item resting in her hands. The tears started to pool in her eyes as she ran her index finger over the number.

Gabby wouldn't have ever believed that this would be as hard as it was. She could never have thought it was this hard. For the first time in as long as she could remember she didn't have to work; in two days when Matt got up and left for work she wouldn't be going anywhere. There was a slight envious feeling deep down that she wasn't going to be going running into burning buildings anymore; that she wouldn't be going on Ambo runs; that she wouldn't be handing in any more marking. Honestly it was all actually overwhelming. She wasn't going to see her candidates going off to their houses or hear how they were travelling, and she wouldn't be around for those inevitable calls that they made back to the academy when they thought they weren't cut out for being a paramedic. So many of those really were suited and were just having a slight wobble.

With trembling fingers she laid the shield down on the brown surface of the table. The Chicago Fire Department was a huge part of her life and a heaviness settled in the pit of her stomach. It was a big part of both of their lives - Matt was an officer and she had held a number of roles. It was their second family. And today she had finished working with them. She actually felt guilty; they were starting a new part of their lives together and here she was wishing that today wasn't the last time that she would be pulling on her uniform.

A sob bubbled to the surface. Gabby's hand quickly moved to cover her mouth in some sort of attempt to keep it in.

There was a quiet whisper that came from behind her, "Hey." Matt's arms quickly wrapped around her, pulling her back into his chest keeping her upright. "It's okay," he reminded her allowing her to turn in his arm so they were face to face.

The tears started to silently run down her face, all the hormones overwhelming her. For someone who was normally so self-assured this was hard for Gabby. Matt didn't say anything, rather he slowly walked them over to the couch so she could let all the tears out. She sobbed for a full ten minutes before finally snuggling into Matt's broad chest.

With closed eyes Gabby's nimble fingers ran over his chest and played with the small buttons on his steel grey work shirt bringing them all the way up to his red bugles patches. Matt grinned slightly as he heard her breathing even out, not enough to fall asleep but enough to know that she had calmed down. In peaceful silence the couple sat tangled up together, Matt's hand quickly finding its' home on the right side of Gabby's belly with her own hand soon joining it comforted by the familiar movements of Smudge.

"Saw you looking at that big tub in our bathroom this morning," mentioned Matt. He felt Gabby's entire body twist at the mention of 'tub.' He didn't even need to look down to know that a large grin would be gracing her face.

With a slight smirk Matt pulled himself out from her. With a small flourish of a hand, he reached out to help her out of the chair. "Yes, I know that you're perfectly capable of getting up… Humor me…"

Gabby chuckled slightly, she knew full well that she wouldn't be able to get herself up from this cushioned chair. It took a while to even get out of the bed in the morning, where once it was simply a manoeuvre to sit up, Gabby was now dealing with an ever changing centre of gravity and finally decided to swing her legs around first and then use her arms to push herself up. A couple of mornings she had raised herself up too quickly and a wave of dizziness had overtaken her. So she was grateful for any help she could get, albeit not wanting to admit that aloud.

"So I was reading this morning..." Matt gently started. If they were going to have this conversation and put it all to rest then he knew it was better to start out with safe subjects. Smudge seemed to be just that. "...39 days until Smudge arrives."

"Umm what?" Gabby turned around from the sink to look at him with wide eyes. "That can't be right," she insisted.

"39 days," he confirmed. "Clearly marked on the calendar in the kitchen and in my office." Slowly he started with the small fiddly buttons of her white shirt. Gabby closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling of his hands running over her tight skin as the sound of running water in the background soothed her nerves.

"You remember that very few babies come on their due date right?" she questioned as Matt helped her into the bath. A deep moan left her lips as she sank back into the warm water enjoying the sensation that warm water provided. It was almost as if she could feel the tension releasing away from all of her tight and aching back muscles. A tap on the shoulder from Matt reminded her to scoot forward slightly so he could slip in behind her.

"But she's a Dawson - nothing but right on time."

She laughed slightly as the water waved around her with Matt's legs settled on either side of her. Leaning back she came into contact with his chest and she settled in, making herself comfortable. "He could be like his Daddy and probably arrive late. Make his Mama suffer for that little bit longer."

"You hear that Smudge," Matt spoke up tapping on her belly lightly. "You don't keep Mama and Daddy waiting too long…"

"Just not yet though!" interrupted Gabby in a stern voice adding her own taps.

"Let's hope that whoever he listens to, that continues after his arrival," Matt joked.

"39 days doesn't seem all too long away, but at the same time, it's almost an eternity."

"What are you going to miss?" he questioned his fingers drawing idle patterns over her stretched skin.

"I'm not going to miss huffing and puffing every time I have to walk up those stairs. Really wish we didn't buy a house with stairs," she grumbled.

"I could set up our bedroom in the seldom used formal dining room," Matt joked.

"Yeah, I could see that Matthew," she spoke turning to meet his eyes with a glare all over her face. "How are you going to get that mattress down the stairs? You and Severide nearly killed yourselves trying to get it around the stair corners when we first moved in. I'm still amazed that neither of you were seriously injured."

Matt tried to look indignant. "Two very qualified Fire lieutenants? Nothing was going to happen."

"You and Severide are good with halligans in a fire… Never said anything about mattresses and stairs," she laughed. Matt laughed along with her, enclosing her even closer with his arms.

Gabby slid up slightly and turned into Matt's body more allowing her head to nest into his neck. "Do you wish we knew?"

"Huh?" he questioned his fingers trailing up and down her upper arm.

"Would it be better if we knew if Smudge was a boy or girl? Would we be better prepared if we knew?"

"We are going to love our baby no matter whether it's a girl or boy."

"But you keep mentioning him," laughed Gabby lazily running a finger up his thigh. Smiling wryly Matt caught her wandering hand to press a kiss to the soft skin. Slowly Matt's hand splayed out across her belly. 'Do you remember the time when my hand covered your entire stomach?'

To Gabby that seemed like a lifetime ago, laughing slightly as Smudge rolled heavily in her belly causing miniature waves in the tub.

"It's funny to watch your belly completely distort like he is doing some twists and turns. It seems to be happening all the time. Now I'm getting to see him moving around like there is a party going on in there!" Matt confessed his hands repeatedly running over her firm bump, enjoying the feeling.

"Smudge is definitely running out of space though and I can always feel the outline of their body where my tummy is hardest," explained Gabby, her hand resting over the top of Matt's.

"With a stray foot here and there." He laughed before turning serious again. "And what else is going on in there?" he questioned tapping her temple lightly before brushing a kiss to the crown of her head and resting his head on her hair.

"I'm firmly in the moody camp now-"

"Really? I never would have noticed," teased Matt pulled her closer so she couldn't do anything to him.

She glared slightly before continuing, Gabby knew that this was the only way they were going to ever take another step forward. Everything around them was changing and she needed to let him in, before long they would have another member of their little family joining them, "It's a weird mix of feeling overwhelmingly grateful for this healthy pregnancy, and this growing little baby, and truly being so in love with them, and just being so overtired. These next six weeks can't go by quick enough, I'll tell you that Matt!"

"Here shuffle forward slightly," instructed Matt. Gabby was perplexed as to his reasoning, nothing was ever easy anymore. Cautiously she moved herself towards the opposite end, her knees instinctively bending around her belly. Matt started to run his hands over her stiff back, feeling the taut muscles beneath his fingers.

"You know when I told you that it was time to step back?" Upon the soft moan of recognition, his soft deep voice continued on, "It was never about telling you what to do… Gabby to do this thing where you jump into things and give it everything you can. And it wasn't me trying to say that you weren't concerned about Smudge or that you ever do anything to harm our little baby… Baby, it was me being Lieutenant Casey."

A soft laugh bubbled from deep inside Gabby, "Like I go all Gabby Dawson?" She had so desperately wanted to stay angry at him for what he had said to her, but it was seemingly impossible. Matt only wanted to protect them, that was it. Emotions ran high in their relationship, "Not the conversation for 3 am?" she joked.

"Something like that," confessed Matt, hands slipping around her hips feeling the sharp bones of her ilium. "I never thought I was doing anything wrong. But 3 am is never a good time to start a conversation like I did. I'm sorry Gabby." Sliding her back into him, he started trailing kisses along her shoulder blade, nipping at the skin gently. "Let's go to bed," he suggested as he felt her body stifle a yawn.

"What about dinner?"

"A nap then? Then we can order in some Thai, I'll even go to your favourite place…" he insisted. "The one near Med."

It was a slow move for Gabby to get out of the tub and into some comfortable clothing. As she had collected herself, Matt busied himself heating up the room and finding her pillows that had been pushed off the bed that morning. Obviously, she hadn't managed to reach them.

Matt had thought it wouldn't take long Gabby to slip into the land of slumber when they finally cuddled down into the soft confines of their bed. One small hand had been joined by a larger one on the top of her belly as she left her head resting on Matt's shoulder.

"Some days, I love that I'm in this phase of our lives and carrying a human being inside of me and other days, I just want to skip the whole process and get to the end result. There are definitely parts of my life and body that I'm ready to have back but then I think how I probably will miss so many little things about pregnancy that I take for granted now. Either way, I'm beyond excited to meet our little baby so pregnant or not, I just want to hold Smudge already!" Gabby told him snuggling into his arms in their bed.

Matt looked down at her with a warm smile over his face. Carefully not to jostle Gabby who now had her eyes closed Matt shuffled down to pull up the comforter up to tuck it around their joined form. Gabby sighed contentedly as she nuzzled in the space between Matt's shoulder and neck.

He couldn't lie, Gabby wasn't the only one wanted to hold Smudge. He had already started counting down the day until he could finally hold his own child. Matt already knew that nothing was ever going to be the same and he couldn't wait.

 _~ Her bones are fully developed by now, and she's turning her head, pirouetting, and moving her body from side to side ~_

* * *

 **39 days readers… 39 days**

 **~ Em**


	33. Week 35 - Molly's

**Hi gang – it's been far too long. I did have plans to post this update last night but then I had some family health issues and this all took a back seat. I do need to apologise for the length of time between updates. It has been so long; term four is a killer in terms of how busy it can get between reports, teaching and all the end of year admin stuff. When I finally did finish last Friday I think I was still running around trying to get everything sorted out, not too sure if I have done everything.**

 **I do need to thank Jewel for the recent influx of readers and reviews – thank you lovely lady you were so kind for giving me a shout out. And Rebecca thanks for the editing that you always do for me. And to all the people who have left a review - Thank you, they are much appreciated.**

 **My dear readers – have a lovely Christmas and holiday break. Happy holidays to you and yours.**

* * *

 _Week Thirty Five_

 _Candidate is the size of a honeydew melon._

"Home stretch now Gabby," Doctor Peterson greeted the Caseys and closing the door to her warm office.

Gabby grumbled softly to herself twisting in her chair trying to find a comfortable spot for her throbbing back. Matt reached out a comforting hand, rubbing the back of her hand soothingly.

"Let's get you up on the table… The angle of it might relieve a bit of that pressure for a little while." Gabby screwed up her face not believing for even one minute that what her OB told her was true. She swatted away Matt's hand which had stretched out to help her up into a seated position on the cold table. Swinging her legs around, she found that Clara was unassumingly correct. Some of that deep pressure on her back was relieved a bit.

"So you've finished up at work? You had been saying that you were going to let the Academy know fairly soon at our last appointment," Clara questioned as she readied herself to start the examination. Both expectant parents nodded along. "How was that?"

"Different," hedged Matt after a few moments silence. There had been a few moments over the previous week when Gabby had been quite upset that she couldn't be working. She had even tried to come into the firehouse during his last shift. Not to visit, but to do something useful for the CFD.

"It was the right time," Gabby agreed.

Gabby held onto Matt's hand as she felt some quite uncomfortable stretching, grimacing slightly. "So what's this for again?" she questioned in an attempt to move her mind on from what was happening.

"We're testing for Group B Streptococcus-"

"Sound serious," Matt interrupted. Gabby groaned as she let her head flop back onto the hard pillow. Squeezing Matt's hand tightly she closed her eyes tightly willing the test to be over!

It might have felt like an eternity for Gabby when in reality it was over relatively quickly. Clara tapped her knee slightly, causing her to slide her legs down, glad to be able to stretch her knees out.

"Sorry Gabby," she apologised. Clara shook her head in Matt's direction as she snapped off her gloves and motioned for Gabby to sit further upright, the bed moving along with her. "GBS is a bacterium that some people have in or on their bodies. It usually doesn't make them sick, but it can make babies very ill if it's passed to them during delivery. GBS-positive women are given IV antibiotics during labour and delivery to prevent GBS transmission to their babies."

Gabby shook her head as she scooted forward, "Couldn't find an easier way to test could they?" she grumbled.

Clara shook her head, the ultrasound cart rattling as it was dragged towards the bed. "Sorry Gabby, no can do. But the good news is for 35 weeks there's no signs of dilation. I would love to tell you that these uncomfortable testings are over with, but it's going to be fairly invasive towards the end."

"Bedside manner Clara?"

"Better to know now than during labour Gabby… I believe in being honest with my patients," she patiently explained whilst Matt tried to hold in laughter. As the weeks wore on and Gabby's moods were ever changing there were times that he wanted to laugh in her face over the seemingly absurd comments she made. And then there were the times that he wondered if he was going be slapped across the face, and hard.

"So do we get to see Smudge today?" Matt questioned making himself more comfortable on the stool that he had slowly become accustomed to over the many appointments that he had sat there.

Clara nodded, pointing towards the clunky machine that had been rolled towards the bed.

"What are you looking for today?" Gabby questioned, tugging on the blanket so it was comfortably around the base of her belly before beginning to pull up her shirt.

"We just want to make sure that baby is developing okay. I also want to look at how active the baby is and check both their heartbeat and bloodstream. Really Gabby it's just a general checkup. Most importantly we want to check out levels of amniotic fluid and cervix of the uterus, placenta and umbilical cord… You've had a pretty model pregnancy up to this point Gabby, there's nothing to be worried about," she comforted taking notice of the concerned look that passed over her patient's face at the mention of many medical terms.

Gabby tried to plaster a smile on her face whilst she shivered at the cold gel being placed on her belly. Matt leant down brushing his nose against her cheek, "It's okay Gabs, nothing to be worried about at all. Smudge is strong; look at his parents," he whispered into her ear.

"Look at this Gabby… Matt…" Clara pointed over at the screen. "Baby's head is positioned down into the pelvis… Over the next few weeks, their head and shoulders should enter the pelvis too… And here, there are their legs all curled up," she pointed out in the grainy black and white image clearly showing their little baby curled up with much less room.

Many days Gabby could feel Smudge's little feet getting caught up in her rib cage. She could do without those kicks to her ribs that could cause her to lose a breath.

"Baby Casey is definitely running out of room in there guys. Hopefully, he becomes calmer and less active as he has grown and there is little space. Head down position is comfortable and natural for a baby, so this position is ideal. He's exactly where I would expect him to be at this point of the pregnancy," smiled Clara. "Baby is perfectly healthy, and I would estimate…" she moved her wand around a few more times, "... I would say a whopping 5.6 pounds at the moment. That's a little bigger than I would have expected," Clara confessed.

Smudge had measured a little under average all the way throughout Gabby's pregnancy, so it was interesting to see that Smudge had gained a fair amount of weight. Nothing too concerning, Clara herself wasn't at all concerned.

"How big is he?" Matt questioned, seemingly missing the numbers that Clara had already told them. A huge amount of information had washed over him over the past seven months.

"You've got to let go of this 'him' pronoun that you're fixated on," Gabby laughed. "You're going to give her a complex…"

"Well then… she's probably around 18 inches. It's always gets a little harder to be exact when they are squashed into such a small space… Her skin wrinkles will have started to disappear, the skin becomes smoother and becomes a pinky colour. She's looking more and more like a newborn baby with every passing day," confirmed Clara. "How is your breathing?"

Gabby tried to laugh, if she was honest everything was so much harder these days. Breathing like she would have a few months ago was a distant memory. "I can't even get up the stairs without feeling completely winded," she confessed.

"I have offered to move the bed downstairs so she doesn't have to walk those stairs," interjected Matt, a wide smile plastered on his face. Clara chuckled along with him, an indigent look passed over Gabby's face.

"He says that now -"

"I would!"

"You didn't see the hassle it was to even get that bed upstairs," Gabby lent forward the best she could to speak to Clara.

"I'm a firefighter -" Matt puffed out his chest slightly, "Between Sev and me, we would have been fine."

Gabby turned to laugh at him, shaking her head all the while. "So yes, there are plenty of times that I'm running out of breath."

Clara nodded along sympathetically, "Breathlessness, unfortunately, it is quite common at this point of any pregnancy. Basically, it's caused by that growing uterus of yours, which has moved and flattening many of the organs around it. Not to mention that your lungs are compressed too and they just can't open as well when you're breathing in as they usually do. On a positive note - this will all go back to normal once the baby arrives. If the breathlessness gives you too much trouble you can try out this exercise to see if it will work for you. Take the cat's pose - so on your knees and lean on your hands, relax your back and shoulders, take a slow deep breath, and then slowly breathe out."

Gabby nodded rubbing slow circles over the top of her belly.

"So at this point Gabby you're entering your final weeks," Clara started as she opened up her appointment calendar whilst Gabby nodded along. "I want to start seeing you for weekly visits… Nothing out of the ordinary," she hastened to add noticing that Matt had opened up his mouth, a concerned look on his face. "It's at this point when you're nearly at a month to go that we start weekly monitoring… Questions?"

"I know you mentioned that I couldn't travel by plane anymore, not that we were ever planning on it, but what if I need to travel a few hours out of Chicago?"

"Where are you planning on going?" Matt interrupted.

"Nowhere in particular," confessed Gabby, "I wanted to know just in case… Never know where your alderman job might take us." Matt screwed up his face, knowing that there was nothing coming up on the calendar that would be taking them anywhere.

"It would be okay in terms of where you're positioned Gabby. Medically there is nothing to suggest that you couldn't drive or at least sit in the car for a few hours. But I would be listening to your body Gabby, plenty of aches already without being stuck in one position," advised Clara. "The best piece of advice that I give to women who are eight and a half months pregnant is just that - you are _eight and a half months pregnant_. Listen to your body. There's nothing any of us can say that will change that or can even explain to you. Just because something worked for a friend or someone you know - that doesn't mean it will work for you. Listen to your body - it will tell you if you go too far. Better than I ever could. I've seen patients who could run a half marathon at this point and then I've had others who were on bed rest by this point…"

"Half marathon?" Matt interjected. "Gabby gets winded walking up the stairs!"

"So I could still haul ass into a burning building or scale the ladder?" joked Gabby. The look of horror that passed over Matt's face caused her to bite her lip in an attempt to hold the laughter in.

"Well, I don't know if I would go that far Gabby," Clara laughed.

"Your lieutenant wouldn't allow it…"

"Ambo babe, not Truck," she reminded him sweetly, tapping her temple as if it was an out for her.

"So Gabby, last few bits of advice remember I want to see you weekly until you are ready to deliver. Eating by this point; you should probably eat more often, just give enough time in between your meals-"

"How long is enough time?" interrupted Matt lurching forward. Gabby chuckled slightly as she reached a hand over to his knee giving it a sharp squeeze.

"Do you need to continually interrupt?" she jested. "You know if you waited for another sentence, Clara would probably answer your question, right Clara?" Gabby raised her eyebrows questioningly.

Clara nodded slightly. She was going to miss them when Gabby finally had her baby, it had been an interesting seven or eight months with the Caseys. Matt was attentive, "So my top tips at this point of your pregnancy - eat more often, it's not worth the heartburn for either you or the discomfort for baby. I want you to rest, do easy exercises, but at the same time limit any physical activity that you might be doing - there is always a slight risk of premature labour if the activity is too physical…"

"See! You need to listen to Doctor Peterson," interjected Matt.

"I'm sure it will be fine," insisted Gabby. "Remember the half marathon story from earlier? What else Clara?"

"I know you've probably heard it all before but do not sleep on your back. I'm sure that it's fairly uncomfortable for you anyway. But it's not good for your circulation system with the weight of your uterus and baby, not to mention that it's just another thing to add to all of that back pain. But most importantly it can affect the oxygen supply to the baby, best to sleep on your left side. Any Braxton Hicks yet?"

Gabby shook her head, she had been surprised that they hadn't happened yet. Only the other day had she been reading that some women started experiencing them very early in their pregnancies.

"Gabby, I'll be honest - it can be the most startling time in this time of your pregnancy. Likely they will be noticeable but not painful - it's all about your uterus getting ready for labour. Everything is your body getting ready for the next stage. The length of these contractions shouldn't be any longer than two minutes and they won't be regular like real contractions. Home stretch now Gabby."

Slowly but surely Gabby reached out for Matt's hand looking for a reassuring squeeze. One that was provided moments later. Neither of them could quite believe that in a matter of weeks they would be holding their little baby.

* * *

Matt woke with a start, looking over at the bedside table clock he noticed it was only 3:55 in the morning. There was a chill in the air he could feel, even through the blankets on the bed. Turning, he couldn't find Gabby.

He could make out her silhouette in the bathroom, the lights on low. From his position sitting in bed, he could see that she was bent over the sink, evidently with her forearms resting on the cool material. He couldn't believe that that beautiful creature was his wife. And was carrying his child. Closer, closer, closer they were going to become parents.

There had been times over the last few years that he wasn't sure if they would make it. Some of those times were stronger than others. When they lost their first child, there were some dark days that had him wondering if they would be able to claw themselves back from. But people were right when they said 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.' It had been hard, really hard. But it was worth it, he thought to himself as he turned his eyes back to his wife. The light behind her meant he couldn't see her fine features, it didn't matter however - she was beautiful. It took his breath away just thinking about it.

Coming back from the bathroom, Gabby could make out the slightly awake Matt, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. She knew that they both needed some sleep, something that she was sorely lacking at the moment. She had heard the last few weeks could be hellish - but nothing to this standard; she would never have believed it if she wasn't experiencing it herself.

"Gabs…" Matt jumped out of bed to help her back in, an arm rushing to curl around her waist. "Wow, you've officially crossed the threshold and are now officially huge."

If she could muster the strength she likely would have punched him in the arm, but at this time of the morning and lacking all the sleep from weeks of not being able to get a full night's sleep it wasn't going to happen. She had to settle instead for giving him her best glare, no matter how sleepy she felt.

* * *

"Babe?" Gabby hollered out from their bathroom, struggling with the back zipper of her dress. Who thought it was a good idea to put a long zipper on the back of a maternity dress? Must have been a male. "Help?" she called out as the heavy footsteps of Matt started to sound closer.

A half smile flashed over Matt's face as he made his way to the zip. Sliding his warm hands down her barely sleeved arms, he started to press kisses onto any bare skins that he could find. Without being able to help it Gabby barely managed to stop a yawn escaping.

"Babe?" Matt gently questioned applying a small amount of pressure to the small of her back causing Gabby to take a few steps towards their bed.

"It's okay Matt," Gabby twisted slightly to press a quick kiss to his lips. Matt smiled wryly as he helped her sit on the bed. "I've been sitting around this house all day. I've got a burst of energy and you need to allow me to do this. Support me here Matt." She was bordering on whining.

"Gabby I know you want to be useful," Matt started carefully, knowing that this conversation had the ability to venture into very dangerous territory. "And there's nothing that I can say that is going to change that. But think about it, in just a few months you'll be back at the firehouse…"

"But that's a few months away Matt… And in a few weeks Smudge will be here and life as we know it will change. Even when I go back to the firehouse, that's going to be different. Who knows when things are going to settle down? Matt-" Gabby reached over to squeeze his hand, "I don't know when I'm going to be able to work at Molly's… Molly's that I own. We both know that having a baby means I won't be able to be there night after night. So let me do this, while I still can. Let me help out and do my job."

"Gabby, you're five weeks away from giving birth," insisted Matt, hoping to convince her to maybe just go, spend some time with their friends and then have an early night.

" _Five_ weeks," repeated Gabby, "That's over a month. Who knows if I'll even have this much energy next week or tomorrow. Come on Matt, just one more night," she tried to compromise. "I'll do tonight at Molly's and then we can talk about how I feel when we get home. I won't move from behind the bar. Doctor Peterson said I should listen to my body, and I am… It will be fine!"

Matt let out a defeated sigh and nodded slightly. Once Gabby had a thought in her mind it would be very hard to shift her, best to just let her go and keep an eye on her. "Come on then," he held out a hand to help her up and together they headed towards the door.

* * *

Stella had been shocked when Gabby and Matt had walked through the door into a crowded Molly's that night. She had been sure that Gabby would have stopped working the bar long before tonight, but when she had protested to this thought Gabby had waved her off, mumbling something about all of the truck members being in on the same complaint.

For the first short while, possibly the first hour or so, Gabby seemed fine. She was full of energy and manoeuvring around the bar with ease. Stella and Herrmann had been trying to cover most of the heavier work and had sent out Otis to clean the tables to ensure that Gabby wouldn't venture out that way. Herrmann knew Gabby only too well if she saw things that needed to be done; she would no matter what the job was. And at eight months pregnant balancing trays of beer shouldn't be high on the list.

But over the last half an hour or so Stella had begun to notice that Gabby was tiring. She wasn't moving as freely as she was from the time she had walked in and Stella had noticed that Casey had tried to step in once or twice to get her to sit down for a little while, but Gabby had simply waved him off. Someone needed to say something to her. Stella remembered Gabby complaining a number of times that Casey had been telling her what to do and when to stop work. Gabby was very similar to her in that sense - both were strong headed and sure of themselves. But still -

"Girl," Stella sighed as she watched Gabby try and kick the dropped cloth towards the bar. But Gabby wasn't going to listen to her, even still she tried to hook her foot underneath it, thinking she might be able to get it in the air again. Nope! Her balance was out and Gabby wasn't even able to lift her foot into a kicking motion. Instead, she had to catch her balance on the back bar to stop from toppling forward.

Huffing slightly, Gabby's hand went to her back, pushing into a sore spot wondering if she would be able to bend backwards towards the floor, her other rest on the top of her belly. It had worked in the past, she couldn't understand why people were making sure that she was okay. What did they think she was doing all day? Sitting with her feet up? Gabby was getting on with her life and making sure that everything was in place for Smudge's arrival.

"Woah," Stella called out as she reached out to catch onto Gabby's elbow. Watching Gabby open her mouth, likely intent on protesting, Stella intervened and swiped up the offending item from the floor and threw it towards the back till.

"I could have gotten it," Gabby huffed.

"I'm not saying you couldn't, but Gabby we can be here without you. Between the three of us, we will make it work. None of us want you to leave, and don't even think this is about us being able to cope without you," Stella rushed to add seeing Gabby open her mouth to complain. "Girl, this is about doing what is best for you and your little baby…"

"Stella, I'm fine."

"Really?" Stella raised an eyebrow, "Gabby I'm not saying that you couldn't work an entire shift, but why should you?"

"You don't get it…"

"No, I don't," agreed Stella, "But Gabby I've been watching you, you look tired. Don't try and deny it; I can see it. Let Casey take you home and look after you. If you really want to come in and work, then come in for a few hours. You don't need to work an entire shift – we do pay staff for these things. We will find a way to cope."

Gabby sighed deeply, her hand going to her belly as a slight pain shook her. Gabby closed her eyes momentarily, that was new. "Fine," she admitted defeat. If this was the second person to tell her in the same night, maybe she needed to listen. "Let me finish out tonight though," she bargained. Not even waiting around to hear the answer Gabby moved off to start serving a customer near the taps and started a conversation with Otis.

* * *

Gabby stopped in the middle of her sentence, a hand going swiftly to her belly. Antonio glanced over at his little sister, a concerned look gracing his features. He had overheard Stella talking her down, and there had been conversations with Matt about how stubborn she had been over giving up work - both here and with the fire department. It wasn't that they were all trying to hover, rather they all knew that Gabby worked hard and fast; nothing was ever too much for her.

A beat later, Gabby continued on her conversation with Otis and handed over the drink to a waiting patron. Antonio kept his eyes trained on her as she placed the money in the till and started another conversation with Otis. In those short five minutes, he watched as her hands first clenched around the wooden edge of the bar and then flexed and clenched in on themselves several times. When she did it one more time, Antonio decided it was enough, his sister had turned her back on the crowd slipped a hand to her underbelly and he could see her lips moving muttering something to herself.

Again Gabby felt a ripple of pain causing her to almost lose her breath as she had when Smudge would kick her ribs. Noticing that both Kidd and Otis were occupied serving and Herrmann was out the back, she spun on her spot to face the back wall. Urging herself not to bend over the bar knowing that would cause a scene, her breathing started to slow and steady itself. This was different from the usual aches and pains. If she had to describe it, it was like someone had wrapped a sheet around her belly and was pulling on it very tightly.

Glancing down at her watch she noted that not as much time had passed as she had originally thought. To her, she had been standing in this one position for at least five minutes, however, not even a minute had passed her by. Letting out another shaky breath Gabby finally turned around praying that the pain had finally left her.

Antonio waved her over, Gabby hadn't noticed him even come in. She was sure that he was spending the weekend with Eva and Diego, Laura was busy with some event that Gabby wasn't too sure what it was. It was hard enough for her to even keep track of her own life at the moment.

"Drink?" she questioned as she slowly made her way over to the corner where Antonio was seated.

Without a reply he regarded his sister, eyes running up and down her body, concern growing as Gabby leaned against the bar counter heavily, her weight going forward. Antonio's eyebrow raised in concern in answer to Gabby's own questioning look. To any onlooker it was amazing the way the Dawson siblings communicated; sometimes it was almost exclusively in looks.

"What?" she finally exclaimed, even without words Antonio could be annoying.

"I should be asking you… What is going on?" Gabby refused a reply, preferring only to brush him off with a glance around the bar. "I overheard you and Kidd. You really should listen to her, slowing down isn't a bad idea."

"Well," she huffed, "if your big ears managed to hear that, you should have heard that I agreed with Stella that I wouldn't do another shift"

"And it doesn't take a detective to see that you're struggling tonight Gabs," Antonio reached over the bar to capture her wrist to make sure she didn't disappear away.

"Don't know what you're talking about _Detective_ ," fobbed off Gabby. Her body was feeling heavy, her legs sore and the best thing she could do right now was change the position she currently stood in. She needed to find a way to get the weight off her feet. Maybe standing for an entire shift at the bar wasn't her finest idea. Maybe just half of the time would be been better, not that she was going to be admitting that to her older brother.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he prodded again. "You looked like you were in some pain there."

"It's nothing," she insisted.

"Nothing?" A raised eyebrow, "Nothing?"

"Nothing 'Tonio. I'm 35 weeks pregnant and your little nephew or niece isn't giving me a moment's peace."

"Exactly 35 weeks, maybe you need to be seeing someone. Maybe my little nephew is in a little…"

"Antonio Dawson, don't you even think about finishing that sentence," warned Gabby.

"He looks a little lower," reasoned Antonio, "And I saw the way you clenched up there…"

"I've got five weeks to go. Smudge is not coming early."

"Gabs…"

"No Antonio I am f-" a gasp left her lips as the tightening started again. She doubled over from her hips, hand fast finding the edge of the counter. Her breathing started to shake more as the breaths expelled were shaky.

Antonio sprang into motion. Quickly and without fuss, he moved around the counter to pull his sister into his own body. "Hima, breathe."

Gabby's hand started a circling motion around her belly, pulling herself more upright. "I'm okay Tonio… Fine. Nothing's wrong…" Closing her eyes she continued on, "Don't make a scene."

"Come on," he started to usher her off of the bar, waving off Kidd who was approaching them, concern painted across her face. "All good Kidd, think she's done for the night… Case?" his voice became a little louder, "Meet us outside?" he confirmed, motioning with his head towards the door, wanting to keep Gabby out of the spotlight.

"What's going on?" Matt questioned rushing towards the Dawson siblings, the cold wind hitting his face. "Gabby?" his hands started to race around her belly almost in an attempt to see if he could feel anything wrong. Stopping slightly so he could look her straight in the eyes, Gabby's eyes were downcast.

"She's been in a bit of pain," Antonio confirmed as Matt looked over with questions in his eyes. "Help me get her into the car?"

"Antonio! No! Do not make a scene - I don't need to go anywhere," the harsh words left her mouth as she found herself being moved toward her car flanked by the two men in her life that she was closest to.

"Gabby, baby…" Matt paused as they reached the passenger's side of the car, "Hey, look at me." Matt bent slightly to grab her face with his hands doing so allowed him to see the fear that was registered on her face. "Let's just go to Med and see what's going on, hey?"

Gabby squeezed her eyes shut for a moment thinking it over, trying to keep the tears at bay. Day by day she was finding that she was less and less in control. It was still something that she was coming to terms with. Blowing a breath out she finally nodded, hearing the car door open.

"Love you hima," Antonio whispered as he pulled her in for one last hug. "Matt," he clapped his hand down on Matt's shoulder reaching in for a half hug, "Let me know, yeah?"

Matt nodded as he reached out for Gabby's hand to assist her into the car. These days the slightly larger SUV wasn't as easy to get into as her previous silver car. Once Smudge made his appearance the car would be good; just trying to manoeuvre a burgeoning belly in and out wasn't always the smoothest task for Gabby.

"Okay?" he questioned.

"Not something that I've ever felt before," Gabby admitted as she blew out another breath. Matt nodded tightly shutting the door firmly.

As he rushed around the hood of her dark car, Gabby's hand slid down to the underside of her belly. Her entire stomach contracted with pain radiating from the top of her belly all the way to the bottom. Squeezing her eyes shut tightly, she kept repeating to herself that it was going to be okay and it was going to pass.

* * *

"Gabby?" Maggie's voice greeted the couple as Gabby shuffled into the ER. She had insisted that she wanted to come through the back entrance, in the hope of minimizing the fuss that would be made. Matt wasn't going to hear any of that and was heading straight for the charge nurse. Maggie started towards them, noticing the grimace of pain that Gabby's face still bore.

"April - call Doctor Manning. I'm taking Gabby into a room…" Maggie ordered handing over her phone. "I've got this for now. You okay here?" Upon the nod, Maggie ushered them into the exam room and closed the door firmly.

"Putting your midwife skills back into use?" Gabby tried to joke as she slid up the bed.

"Got to keep them sharp… What's happening Gabby?" she raised her eyebrows.

"Just some pain…"

"Some pain," interjected Matt from his spot. "A pain that she hadn't felt before."

"Across your belly?" Maggie questioned, draping a blanket over her legs so she could pull up the dress that Gabby wore. "How many weeks gone?"

"Thirty five," confirmed Gabby.

"I'm thinking Braxton Hicks," mentioned Maggie as the baby's heartbeat filled the room. "Seems steady and okay… Let's wait for Doctor Manning to do a quick exam."

"Quick exam?" questioned Matt.

"I just want to check everything out." Natalie Manning entered the room, washing her hands. "So Gabby, Matt, just couldn't wait to see us again?" she took the ultrasound in that Maggie still had on the screen. "Everything looks good there - how's the pain now?"

"Nothing more than aches and pains now - normal ones." Natalie nodded along sympathetically.

"I'm sure your OB has gone through all this with you," started Maggie as she helped Gabby on with a gown. "Braxton Hicks contractions work to tone the uterus, but they don't result in dilating the cervix, which is why they aren't considered as true labour. The intensity of Braxton Hicks remains the same, but true labour contractions continue to get worse, no matter what you do. Braxton Hicks can come on without warning, and they are rarely consistent. True contractions will keep coming at regular intervals, and will gradually get closer together… Experiencing any of this? Nothing consistent?"

Gabby nodded as she re-settled herself on the bed, reaching for Matt's hand as Natalie started her examination. "I only felt them in my belly, is that normal?"

Maggie and Natalie nodded, "Yes Braxton Hicks are usually along the front of your uterus. Real contractions will often start at the top and move down and might wrap around to your back. As they get stronger, your whole body feels involved… Everything that you're telling us is indicating that you're just experiencing Braxton Hicks - especially the fact that you are talking and breathing through the pain so easily," Maggie laughed. "Just you wait," she tapped Gabby's still bent knee, "When labour actually starts those contractions will probably take your breath away and you will find it hard to speak or even think during the height of your pain."

Matt laughed nervous, still not sure if everything was okay with the baby and Gabby. "Gabby, not speak? That will be new."

Natalie shook her head slightly as she pulled off her gloves motioning for her relax her legs. "No signs of early labour Gabby. Everything seems fine." Gabby let out a sigh of relief that she didn't know she was still holding. Even at 35 weeks, there had been a fear of something going wrong even at this really late stage.

"Is there anything that we can do?" Matt asked, grasping Gabby's hand just a little tighter. Natalie and Maggie shared a look; the doctor allowing Maggie to take the lead, after all, she was a paediatrician.

"There are a few things if they get really bad or are just really strong. Sink into a warm bath and relax with a good book. Often the relaxation and the distraction can make them ease. Change your activity. The more you move with Braxton Hicks, the less likely they are to continue or even just change up your position – if you are sitting down, stand up. If you are lying down, sit up. A change in position will often banish the contractions altogether. Go with slow, deep breathing, just as if you are actually labour. This can help you deal with the discomfort, as well as giving you a chance to practice the breathing technique for labour. Drink plenty of water if the Braxton Hicks keep coming because you might be dehydrated. Not having enough liquid in your body is one of the reasons why Braxton Hicks show up, sleep with a bottle of water next to you…"

"Feel like I should be writing these down," laughed Gabby. "Don't even think about it," she warned Matt when she noticed that he was fishing his phone out his pocket.

Natalie laughed slightly, "If it's any help I didn't get them the whole way through with Owen, but when I did start having Braxton Hicks they were really painful. I can only tell you what worked for me - I drank plenty of water but that didn't seem to help. For some reason, lying down on my left side immediately made them stop. Now I know that lying down is the key for me to make them go away." If you are having these all the time, it might be a sign that it's time to slow down. I had them over and over until I went on maternity leave, and after I was able to sit down at home for days with my feet up, they went away. I didn't have another contraction until real labour began."

"Good thing that I've started my leave then," Gabby quipped.

"Probably for the best at this point," Natalie commented allowing Gabby to sit fully upright. "Always good to be at home, taking it easy."

"Says the person who worked right up until her water broke," laughed Maggie. Matt's eye widened at the comment, every other person in the room watching as the cogs started turning in his mind trying to form words.

"No, no, no. Owen was a little early. Plus I was already at the hospital," reassured Natalie. "Gabby, any other concerns?"

Taking a deep breath, Gabby shook her head. She was now ready for her own bed, all that energy that she had earlier disappeared.

"Okay," nodded Natalie. "Look I want to keep you under observation for a few hours and in the meantime, I'll get your discharge papers ready. But you come back or call me if you have any concerns…" Looking from one parent to the other, "Either of you."

* * *

"Come on, let's get you to bed," Matt reasoned as they walked through the door after being discharged from Med. Once Nat was happy that Gabby had enough rest and was feeling a bit stronger she had sent them home with strict orders to slow down and rest.

Gabby shook her head as she leaned heavily into Matt's side. Almost automatically his hand went to the small of her back. "Okay, the couch for a little while then… I know it's hard Gabs," he offered as he gently helped her onto the couch pulling over coffee table closer so she could put her feet up. "Gabs, you just need to slow down a bit."

He regarded her for another beat before pulling out his cell to let Antonio what had happened promising him that he would get Gabby to ring him in the morning so the older Dawson's mind could be put at ease.

Gabby nodded, with a slight tear in her eye. A beat later she pulled him down to the couch so she could snuggle up to him. "I'm just so uncomfortable Matt," Gabby sighed against Matt's chest. Her hand moved across her belly down to the space between her hip bone and belly and started to press down. Instinctively Matt's larger hands pushed hers away to take over the massaging.

"I can only imagine Gabby…"

 _In preparation for birth, he is now upside down in your uterus._

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed. I promise you won't have to wait until next Christmas to meet Smudge. Press that little review button and tell me what yo think :P**

 **Merry Christmas all!**


	34. Week 36 - Baby Shower

**Happy new year everyone!**

 **Shout out to my latest guest review – thank you for your long review, you made my day. I am so glad you are liking my story and enjoying the weekly installments of baby Casey. You may be in for a surprise for the Casey parents and their growing family. And to all the other people who have reviewed - THANK YOU! To each of you who review or favourite my story, the writer in me thanks you and sends a hug. Every fanfic writer likes the support of the content they write, whether that be a review, a DM, a favourite or a follow. So to everyone who has done those things for my little story, I appreciate it.**

 **Bec – thanks! And Jewel – there's something special in here, inspired by our conversations, for you. Hope you enjoy it and it does justice to friendships.**

 **Enjoy the growing family…**

* * *

 _Week Thirty Six_

 _~ Candidate is now the size of a canary melon ~_

Stella juggled the box on the front porch leading into the Casey's house. Knowing that she couldn't ring the doorbell, she didn't want to let Gabby know she had arrived. Juggling the box into her left hand, she fished out her phone from her back pocket to ring her lieutenant.

"Casey… coast clear? ...I'm at the front door… if you could… thanks, Casey." A few agonizing moments later Matt opened the door to catch the ever slipping box from Stella's grasp.

"Geeze Kidd what is even in here?" he questioned ushering her in quietly and towards the lower level of the house. "Have you been borrowing equipment from the house again?"

"One time," she defended to him. "And it was for Molly's. Just a few things for the baby shower," she explained. "Sev's got the rest in the car. Didn't know if I was going to be able to get in without Gabs noticing. She still thinking that we're going out for a girls' afternoon?"

"Last I saw her she was running around and she thought you were going out to Molly's. And still trying to get her shoes on… Ring Severide and tell him to come around the back."

Stella had thought long and hard about this, after the scare last week she knew that she needed to do something different for Gabby. Weeks ago, when she had first thought about hosting Gabby's baby shower there wasn't anything worrying about the situation. Adriana had offered to host the party at her place but they knew that Gabby didn't want a big deal being made over her. And she would be on guard for something like this, Stella knew this, she even thought about having the party in the loft, but Kelly's place just wasn't set up for entertaining. Plus, Gabby would have questioned and questioned about why they would be even going to the loft.

And she knew that the only way for this to even to happen was to ask Gabby to have an afternoon out at Molly's with her and Brett which she had organised weeks ago. Now, she reasoned, it wasn't such a great idea. It would be better to have it at the Casey's, easier for Gabby. Even though Molly's was another home to them, easy to cater at and would fit everyone in. But Gabby needed the comforts of home.

Over the years that she had known Gabby, Stella had come to realise that Gabby would make a great mother. She had seen Gabby develop her maternal qualities even to the point where she really was the mother figure of Firehouse 51 - always concerned about the younger company boys, running Molly's and ensuring that both the Lieutenants were kept in line.

"Thanks again for letting us do this here Casey. After last week, I thought she would be much more comfortable here at home."

Matt nodded in reply as he started to unpack the box that Stella had brought in. There wasn't anything that she hadn't thought of. "She's so close to 37 weeks, just a day or so off, that even leaving the house can become a big thing. I think last week, having to go into Med, it affected her and she's tired. But you know Gabby she'll never admit it." A buzzing of his phone alerted him to the fact that Severide was at the back door with the rest of Stella's supplies.

* * *

Shoes in hand laces dangling by her hands Gabby slowly made her way towards the stairs down to the lowest level of their house. As frustrating as it was going to be to have to be walking back up the stairs later, Gabby was fast running out of options. Honestly, it would have been faster to just ask Matt to help her out; but after the backing down she had to do about Molly's last week she was desperately trying to save face.

So far she had tried the armchair in their bedroom, the low bed in the spare room. Over the past few weeks that rocking chair had worked quite well for her, but the growth spurt that Smudge had gone through over the last few days meant that everything was getting very very hard. How she had managed the socks this morning she wasn't too sure. Even in the cold weather her feet had swollen slightly making it even more challenging to get those damn shoes on. Matt had laughed and shivered slightly when he caught her plunging her aching, puffy feet into some ice cold water in the bathtub last night.

But today even the rocking chair wasn't helping, her ever growing girth - it just couldn't be manoeuvred around, neither trying to lean left or right, Gabby just wasn't able to lean around it.

The high kitchen stool had been promptly walked passed. Her short stature really meant that Smudge was fast running out of space - only the other week had she mentioned to Stella that all of that long torso would come in handy when she and Severide decided to add to their apartment. Stella had laughed long and hard about that one comment. Truth be told, Gabby couldn't quite imagine Kelly Severide with a baby. But then again, who would have ever thought that he would be in a stable long term relationship either. But here they were coming up to nearly a year, without killing each other.

"Hey," Matt's voice caught her out. "Where are you going with those things, don't they belong on your feet?"

Gabby chuckled softly, "I was going to try those low couches downstairs to get these shoes on. Might be a little kinder to my back. But those stairs…"

"Those stairs won't be good for you," interjected Matt knowing full well what might be stopping her.

She nodded along, "Energy is about the same level as my first trimester," she groaned. "And the stairs going up and down is painful on my knees… Don't know if I'd have enough breath to get back up them either."

"Offer still stands to move the bedroom down here."

"And I keep telling you that if you manage to finally get it down here, you'd either break the stairs or yourself," she laughed.

Matt scoffed slightly before placing his hand on the small of her back and steering her towards the first armchair in their sightline. Even on the short walk from the kitchen, he could feel the tension in her back muscles through her clothing. It had been a long week for Gabby after the scare that had landed them at Med. It didn't matter to either of them that Smudge was completely safe it had shaken both of them; Gabby more than she was willing to admit. There had been a few nights that Gabby come bolt upright, breathing raggedy and heavy.

Matt knew this was exactly what she needed, not to have to go out to Molly's but to be surrounded by people who loved them. These people who were going to be Smudge's family. And to have their baby shower in their own home was exactly what he wanted for her right now. Plus there was the added bonus of being able to head out to Severide's for a couple of beers and to watch the game. Let himself check out for a few hours. Allow himself to stop worrying about the future for even just a little while. A family was everything he wanted, but that wasn't to say he was not a little worried.

Just because he hadn't ever put a voice to those concerns, it didn't mean that he still didn't worry about what had happened. It didn't seem to matter how many people had told him that everything that had happened was actually very normal. Will Halstead had told him over a beer that it was actually very surprising that the Braxton Hicks hadn't started earlier in her pregnancy, she was lucky in some sense.

"I don't know how anyone can still wear heels at this point," grumbled Gabby as Matt finished up with the laces on her shoes.

"Hmm?"

"When I was looking for a new dress for that last dinner we went to, I saw all these heavily pregnant women with their fancy dresses and high heels. I wouldn't be able to walk to the door," scoffed Gabby. "There were a few posts about baby showers and all the mothers are glamorous women with three inch heels and tight dresses… Can you imagine? I'm so glad that we decided not to do that."

"What's that?"

"The baby shower. Just a grab for presents," Gabby rolled her eyes.

"About that hija," a new voice interrupted. Gabby twisted to find her mother standing behind them, beautifully wrapped presents in hand, a warm and inviting smile on her face.

* * *

Gabby couldn't believe her eyes as her mother helped her down the stairs. In front of her sat Stella and an amazing spread. The first thing that caught her eye was this gorgeous cupcake stand with a little teddy bear sitting atop the stand. As Gabby got closer she noticed green and yellow button decorations adorning the cupcakes that were circled around a delicate cake stand. It sat proudly in the middle of the table adorned with a beautifully laid out spread of food

"Mama?" she breathed, her eyes wide with questions.

"This was all Stella," her mother replied.

Stella ducked her head slightly, "Well, Kelly helped with heavy lifting," she confessed as Kelly tried to sneak out and up the stairs. He knew that Matt would be upstairs waiting for him, but he hadn't been able to get out of the basement without Gabby seeing him. Slowly he stopped in his tracks and turned his head to look back at the women, sheepish look on his face.

Gabby took a few steps towards him and held her arms out. Kelly raised his eyebrows slightly before giving in and allowing himself to be pulled in for a hug. Kelly Severide, a softie at heart, just as long as no one knew it, but there wasn't anything that he wouldn't do for his friends.

"Thanks, Kel," she whispered as she held on for a second longer, the best she could. That bump was really starting to seriously get in the way.

"Gabby," her mother spoke up as Kelly headed for the stairs for a second time. "I think Stella has most of the food but-"

"I ordered most of it, or Brett and Cindy made the baked goods," assured Stella at the questioning look from Gabby

"Stella has most of the food down here already," continued Adriana. "But I've brought some food for Matthew and the others. I want to catch him before he goes."

"Well, he'll never starve with my mother around," Gabby grumbled good naturedly. "They going to the loft?"

"Along with the rest of the house," confirmed Stella. "Watching the Blackhawks with a few beers, I think the plan was."

"So…" drew out Gabby as she moved to join Stella on the couch. "You planned all of this?"

"Gabby, I know you said you didn't want anything. But you know you are surrounded by friends who already love Smudge. Adriana offered to host it, but I knew that you would see right through it. And then after everything that happened last week… It was just better to have it here."

"You didn't have to do anything Stella…"

"But we wanted to. God Gabby, last week gave us all a scare. Didn't know what was going on and so I wanted to make sure that you knew how much both you and Smudge are loved. This kid just getting an awesome set of parents… And an awesome firehouse family who will do anything to protect them."

Gabby gave her a watery smile as she leaned over to hug her friend.

"It's not just Smudge…" Stella continued as she pulled back slightly, still holding onto Gabby's hand. "You, Gabby, you are amazing. Firefighter and paramedic-"

"Look who's talking!"

"I mean it. I know it's not easy. This life that we chose, and I know that it hasn't been an easy road. It's nice to have another female in the house who knows what it's like, to be a firefighter in a male dominated career."

"Stella-" she tried to interrupt.

However, Stella was on a roll, "You are so much more than you think. And whilst I don't think Kelly and I will be starting a family anytime soon-" Gabby had to chuckle at that statement. "I'm volunteering Uncle Kelly and Aunty Stella to babysit whenever you need. 'Cause girl, you know that I'm going to be the coolest Aunty that this kid is going to have… Seriously though… Look around, Gabby. Welcome to another chapter in your life… And we're all here, right by your side."

* * *

The afternoon progressed nicely with each of the guests bring their favourite picture book or children's book with a story as to why it was special to them. Gabby enjoyed that. Rather than Smudge ending up with a lot of presents, clothing and toys; more than they would ever need, they had a good stack of books.

So when Cindy stood up, Gabby was expecting a good bedtime story book that she knew would be tried and tested with all of the Herrmann children.

"We wanted to do something slightly different for you," Cindy confessed as she pulled up a rather large present from behind the sofa. "Donna and I wanted to give you something that you could hang in the nursery…"

Donna nodded along. "When Wallace and Christopher told us that they were making that ladder we found something would go along with it. Now I know you probably don't want to turn your nursery into Firehouse 51-" she laughed.

"But we knew that we couldn't pass this up. It holds a special place in all of our lives," finished up Cindy.

Gabby shot them both a questioning look. "I wouldn't worry about that. Have you seen the huge sticker that is on the wall in that nursery upstairs?!" she questioned.

Upon the shaking of heads, Brett fished out her phone from her handbag to show them a photo. "It's the cutest thing ever," she gushed.

Laughter rippled through the group gathered as Gabby watched the phone being passed around before tearing into the present. Inside she revealed a canvas… She gasped inaudibly as she took in the words.

"Each of our children have had this hanging in their rooms," Cindy told her. "And we found one for Terrance too."

 _MY DADDY IS A FIREMAN_

 _he works hard all day._

 _In a very special firehouse,_

 _not too far away. He crawls_

 _down halls, and knocks_

 _Down walls, in buildings old_

 _and new. To help save many_

 _people's lives, and their_

 _belongings too. He doesn't_

 _mind the summer sun, or_

 _winter's bitter cold, because_

 _it's a fireman's job, to be_

 _so very bold. I hope dear God,_

 _you're watching. Be it twelve_

 _or six or three, or whenever_

 _my dad is working Lord,_

 _Please bring him home to me._

"And we knew that it wasn't fair to just have that," Donna mentioned as she passed over a slightly bigger parcel.

Gabby laughed as she saw the next canvas that was bought for them

 _In this Firefighter & EMT home_

 _We always_

 _Put Family first_

 _Give Hugs and Kisses_

 _Say I Love You_

 _Listen for Tones_

 _Work Hard & Play Harder_

 _Kiss Goodbye_

 _Help Others_

 _Say Please and Thank You_

 _Check In After Every Call_

 _Pray_

 _Love Our Hero_

"You guys-" Gabby wiped a tear that was starting it's decent. "You know, they say that family is one of the most important things in life. And the Chicago Fire Department talk about becoming a second family, that your company, that your house will become a family. And…" she looked around at the faces around her, "I know it doesn't happen at every firehouse. And not at every house will you make friends… But it's not just friends. My firehouse family has grown over the years. And Matt and I couldn't be more thankful…"

"Here hija," Adriana spoke up softly as she made her way over to sit next to Gabby on the couch. Placing a soft present in her lap, Adriana gave her a warm smile. Pulling on the paper carefully Gabby slowly revealed a delicate white lace dress. A memory pricked at the back of her mind, a distant memory that was straining to get through. There was something very familiar about this piece of fabric. As she carefully picked up the item it came flooding back to her. In her hands she held up a beautiful small dress, white with a lace overlay for all to see.

"Mama?" Her teary eyes rose to meet her own mother's teary eyes.

"It's the christening gown that has been in our family for generations," she confirmed. Angeling her body back towards Gabby's friends she started her story, "This is the same christening gown that Gabriela's grandmother was christened, and then myself back in the Dominican Republic. We brought it here to America and both Antonio and Gabriela wore it. And now it's time to pass it onto my daughter for her children."

Gabby sniffed slightly as she smoothed the delicate fabric out over her knees. No one had worn it since herself when Eva had been christened Laura had a dress for her that she herself had worn. You couldn't argue with that. But Gabby still remembered the photos for herself and even Antonio in this same gown. It was again that part of her family, her culture and the tradition that existed, one that she loved.

And now Smudge would be clothed and christened in the same clothes that three generations of her family had been in for the same reason. Nothing could ever replicate that or the feeling that was inside her now.

"And this is from Antonio," Adriana interrupted her little daydream.

Gabby had reached out to Laura. They had been very close over the years that she had been married to Antonio. And she was still the mother of Gabby's niece and nephew; the least Gabby could do was try and rebuild some form of friendship with her. Alas it wasn't through lack of trying that it hadn't happened, but Laura just wasn't ready to come. And inviting Antonio to her baby shower just didn't seem quite right, even if he might have enjoyed being the only male surrounded by all the ladies.

Gabby knew at once that the package from Antonio was a book. When both of his children had been born, she had given them books too. Inside she found _Sweet Dreams/ Dulces Sueños, Mango, Abuela and Me and Calling the Doves/ El canto de las palomas._ All of the books were in both Spanish and English, Antonio always told her that it was something special raising a bilingual child. _Calling the Doves_ was a story that she could remember reading to Eva when she was very young. She held them up for everyone to see as she saw Brett scribbling down the present list for her. Stella made grabby hands so she could get a look at it too, reaching for the Abuela book.

"This is something special," Stella commented as she flipped quickly through the book.

"His kids and I used to love reading this together," Gabby told the group. A wry smile played over her face as her hands came to rest on top of her belly. "And I'm sure he'll have just as much fun reading this with Smudge."

Adriana laughed softly as she gathered up the books and gown and nodded to Stella as she placed the gifts on the table with the growing pile.

"Christie is sorry she can't be here; there were a few things that she just couldn't reschedule," Stella apologised as she handed a thin parcel over.

As Gabby carefully picked at the tape holding on the wrapping paper on, she smiled as a photo of the young Casey siblings fell out along with a hardcover version of The Hungry Caterpillar. Matt looked about eight or nine with his arms firmly around Christie, pulled close to him. It hadn't seemed to matter that he was the younger of the pair, they were nearly the same height. The image tugged at her heartstrings, there weren't many photos around of Matt as a young boy; he adamantly refused to talk about it. In truth, it was only in the last few years that he had truly reconnected with his sister.

Matt had been quite devastated when Christie had told them over dinner two weeks ago that they would be moving out to East Michigan at the end of the academic year. A small school out there had offered her a position, one that was too good to pass on. Violet was understandably upset that she would be moving away from her family and friends to an unknown place, but Matt had promised that she would still be very much a part of Smudge's life. After all, as Matt had reasoned, it was only an hour and a half or so for them to drive out to Michigan. Christie had even promised that she might be able to take the train on the odd occasion… maybe. It was only two and a half hours by train into the city. Matt still wasn't too sure about this move, but as the little brother, he wanted to support her in any way that he could.

Christie had found a house that was a short walk away from the beach and even the Zoo. Everything that she needed was close by and it would be hard to leave Chicago, she needed to do this for herself. Chicago still held many bad memories for her; both with her parents and with Jim.

As Gabby opened the book after noticing a white piece of paper sticking out slightly a small smile appeared on her face. Curiously she withdrew what seemed to be a letter address to Baby Casey. Locking eyes with her mother and Stella she opened the envelope and started reading slowly, her eyes running over the handwritten text.

 _My dearest little niece or nephew,_

 _You know Daddy and Mommy could make this a little on Auntie C if they would just tell us all whether you're a boy or girl, but by the time you get to read this we will have known for years. But right now I'm writing this for your baby shower. You know the only thing that your father will tell me if that your name is either going to start with I or M… Do you know how many different names there are that start with those two letters? As a teacher there are so many names that I could think of Ivy, Isabella, Iris, Imogen, Isadora even. What about Ian, Imrahim and this are just the I names… As long as it's not Isla, Auntie C has had a few naughty students with that name. I think that your name is going to start with an M though, especially with the lack of boy names, so maybe - Malcolm, Manu, Marco, Marshall. What about Maria, Madalyn, Maggie, Makayla, Miriam… Sweetheart girl names are much easier to pick._

 _Let's go back to talking about my younger brother. Your father. You will know him as some variation of Dad while I know him as that little boy who was always around pesting me, annoying me, always wanting to be with me. We spent a majority of our childhood outside climbing trees or playing whatever current sport was in season. Ask him one day about the hockey game on the pond that landed me in the ER…_

 _But back to you Dad... I know there are going to be times when you think you hate him, but I promise you that he is doing everything for a reason. You should see the way his face lights up when he talks about you. You have become the best part of his life and you haven't even made your grand entrance. Your father is a special man, one of the best I know and is one of the hardest working men that I know. Don't be too hard on him. When he chases boys off, it's because he knows that boys suck. Or when he questions you about the girl that you want to date, it's because he was a teenage boy once too. But you will find a keeper one day. Just like your dad found your mom. They have this amazing relationship. They don't come along every day._

 _And here are the things that I need you to know…_

 _You are interesting. Believe that. You are amazing and your thoughts are brilliant and just like your mom and dad, your mind is unique and special. Don't ever feel like you have to prove yourself to anyone. If they can't see how special you are then move on, let them go. Who cares if they aren't interested, they don't see what is special inside of you, the real you._

 _Do you know how powerful you are? You are like a mini super-hero just waiting to reveal your true identity to the world. Keep doing this every day._

 _People are going to tell you a lot about romantic love. It will be in movies and television shows and in the books you read. You'll see quotes like "someday someone will hug you so hard all your broken pieces will stick back together." Remember this is not true - it isn't about someone putting you back together. Your journey is about you and you alone first and foremost. You will put yourself back together any way you can._

 _Someday you may find love, and someday you may not. Your worthiness as a human being does not depend on this. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You are not measured by how lovable or attractive someone else finds you. That is about them and their wants and desires - it doesn't define you and you don't depend on it._

 _Live a life with your mind and arms open. You will encounter people in life who need your help. Your character will be what you do for those that can afford nothing in return._

 _It doesn't matter what happens after school. It doesn't matter how many loans you take out, or what job you may or may not get._

 _Go to college. It will open your mind to things you would have never dreamed of considering. It will be stressful, impossible and life-altering._

 _Fall in love with the idea of being alive. Once you do this, nothing is impossible. Nothing is too hard._

 _The only day that will ever be wasted is a day you spend in your comfort zone. If you don't believe you can do something, go out and do it. Don't be afraid to prove yourself wrong. Make sure you're scared of something you do every single day._

 _Imagine a perfect world and who you would be in that world. Now be that person every single day. No excuses._

 _You are allowed to fail. You are not allowed to stop. Wake up, get up, and show up to life. As long as you do this, I promise you will be loved._

 _Step into your fears but don't be reckless about it. Life is too short not to respect both of those, and that's how you will truly find yourself._

 _Learn to hear your intuition and trust yourself. You know better than you think you do._

 _This is your life and you owe it to yourself to live it for you and not for anyone else. Don't ever think that makes you selfish._

 _Passion, purpose and values are just as important as loyalty, hard work and commitment._

 _Always be excited about something no matter what it is. Don't let anyone tell you your passions are ridiculous or funny. They are yours. Dream big._

 _Sadness, anger and frustration are just as valid as feelings of joy, happiness and gratitude. You can let your emotions show and still be powerful._

 _Your family loves you, no matter what. Life may not always be flawless but you are loved and you are safe._

 _You don't ever need to fake perfection because you are perfection. You are perfect and whole and complete._

 _You have everything you need to live an incredible life. So get out there, give it all you've got, grab a hold and don't ever let go._

 _You are powerful. You are gifted. You are a leader. Share it with the world_

 _The last thing I want to say in this letter is that your voice, your story, and your heart is uniquely your own. Do not ever doubt the impact on the world you will bring with just that alone. If there's something you want from life, you don't stop. You work until your life revolves around this desire, it all comes from hard work..._

 _People will try to tell you who you are your entire life, so let me be the first. You are the beginning of the world._

 _And I promise to keep you safe._

 _I love you more than anything. I'll always be just a phone call away._

 _Love Auntie Christie._

Smudge was going to be so well loved, Gabby couldn't stop the tears from dripping down her face. There was nothing that she wanted more for her child.

* * *

Two days later Casey found himself back on shift, a usually quiet one. Ambo had been called out on a few runs and Squad had been out once. And everyone had jumped on Capp at dinner time when he dared mention the 'Q' word.

From his usual spot on the head of the table, he could see Otis and Herrmann planning something for Molly's and Cruz attempting to clean up after dinner. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Kidd and Severide at the smaller round table, Severide desperately trying to dunk a cookie in her coffee. Kidd was laughing quietly whilst trying to jerk her coffee cup out of the way and not spill any in the process.

As the bells rang announcing the need for the entire company, Severide finally managed to get his cookie into the cup before shoving the entire thing into his mouth. Casey just gave him a look as the two lieutenants passed each other.

It was a full raging inferno that Truck 81 pulled up to with the rest of the company. One that both squad and truck found themselves searching and venting through quickly.

"Herrmann you take that room on the left and I'll get that last room at the end of the hall," Casey spoke in a loud voice. "Chief," he pressed down on his radio, "Herrmann and I have the last rooms. Otis and Kidd should be coming out now."

"Casey... don't take... long," came the crackled reply from Boden.

"Got it Chief… Turning hot in here!"

"Squad Three is coming out," Severide advised. "Need backup?"

"Negative, we've got it Severide," the finger was released from the button as Casey got into the last room. He could see the fire starting to lick the wall and climb towards the roof. Time was limited and he was aware of it. Smoke engulfed him and visibility was at a minimum, Casey would be lucky to even see past his own fingers.

Casey tried to take a deep breath as he surveyed the burning room, it seemed to be empty. "Fire department… Call out!" But silence meet him.

A series of beeps caught his attention from behind him, causing him to turn around. That couldn't have been the pass alarm, there was not a single soul around him. It suddenly dawned on him that it was the warning alarm on his oxygen tank. Squinting at the gauge by his shoulder Casey struggled to read the numbers, there was no way that his canister could be that low on air. Sweat started to trickle down his face, as panic started to rise.

That beeping was a warning that he only had a few minutes of air left before he would be breathing in fumes. And the heat had started to rise again within the room. "Herrmann?" he called out, trying to find his way out of the room. "Herrmann?" he voice rose. Casey knew that it was time to start towards the exit and out of the burning building.

But with dark thick smoke, it was much harder than before to figure out his way. Carefully he dropped to his knees in an attempt to get below the smoke and hopefully find a clearer path out.

Meanwhile, Herrmann had quickly cleared the room and made his own way out before the smoke had become too thick.

"Chief all clear… Where's Casey?" he questioned looking around. "He should have been right behind me."

"Severide!" Boden's voice rang out across the scene towards where the Squad lieutenant stood.

"Chief?" Severide jogged toward the men standing with concerned looks at the building.

"Casey's not out yet… I don't like the look of it. The wind is changing."

"Getting hot in there too."

"Cruz, mask up and follow me," Severide shouted over yanking his own mask pointing toward the front of the building.

Boden stretched out an arm, effectively stopping Severide by his upper arm. "In and out Severide. You find Casey and haul him out of there." A nod in agreement propelled the two squad members towards the door.

Casey was inching forward on his knees feeling around blindly for the door frame. Once out into the hallway, he stopped for a moment trying to regulate his breathing. Slow and steady - he knew that the oxygen would be running low at this point, he could sense it. In and out, in and out.

With each forward shuffle, he could feel the temperature rising. Casey forced himself forward, knowing that there was a goal in sight. Clean air and his life. There would be nothing to be gained by passing out here, an empty tank with red and orange flames eating the walls. Flames he could see as he turned his head to look behind. But he had too much to live for.

Gabby flashed into his mind as he tried to take another deep breath. Gabby, his wife. Images of their lives together flashed through his mind; the first time he met her; the little black dress and their first night together; the tears in her eyes and the crumbling face as she sat in her hospital bed; Gabby slowly walking towards him on her father's arm with that pure white dress; the look on her face when she first told him about Smudge; her laughter during their ultrasounds; and each of the ultrasounds all assaulted his mind. He owed it to her to come home alive and safe after each shift, just as he had promised her.

It was evident that Gabby didn't sleep well when he was on shift; it was uncomfortable feeling being at home knowing that he was putting his life on the line. The thing that Gabby had that other wives didn't was that she had lived this life, the experience of crawling through a smoke filled building. She knew better than anyone else the real dangers of their jobs, and it was always a real possibility that he might not come home one day. Together there had a period of time when she had gone into burning buildings with him, but there had always been a sense of protection on his part. As long as they were running into the same building he could always protect her and make sure that she got out before him. As any good lieutenant should, Casey led from the front. First in, last out. And he made sure that Gabby was well looked after - Herrmann had trained her well and was trusted with her life.

Even when she put her life on the line going out on Ambo runs - there had been so much truth to his statement about worrying about her every time those bells had rung for Ambo.

Every shift that Casey walk out of the house he silently promised her that he would do everything in his power to make sure that he came home. In four weeks, scarily, it was only in a month, they would be welcoming a new life into their family.

So that meant it wasn't going to be today that Casey broke his promise; he kept repeating that to himself. He was going to see the birth of his first child… and the next. He knew that he had to get out to this building, holding onto the memory of their latest appointment with Doctor Peterson watching Smudge bounce around on the screen. There his little child was punching and kicking around; he was sure that it wasn't at all amusing to Gabby, but he was enjoying being able to watch it happen. He knew he had to keep his senses about him, the building was dark and smoky and it was a struggle for every breath he took. Spurred on how thoughts of his family, Casey put one knee after the other and struggled towards that he hoped was the exit to the building.

But the next breath Casey took, he gulped at nothing. His canister had finally run out of oxygen. How long could he last without any fresh air? He knew couldn't take off his mask for the risk of carbon monoxide poisoning. The was fuzziness and a darkness starting to invade his consciousness. Blackness now pricking at the edges of his vision.

 _~ Her wrinkly suit of skin is filling out as she gets plumper ~_


	35. Week 37 - Breathe

**How long have I been gone for? Well I hope it's worth the wait. Not long now until we meet Smudge**

* * *

 _Week Thirty Seven_

 _~ Candidate is as long as stalk of Swiss chard ~_

Gabby woke with a start, late morning. She remembered coming downstairs earlier in the morning before the sun had completely risen. A book lay discarded on her belly, still open. She was surprised to notice how late it was. Her sleep was getting sporadic at night, trying to find a position that she could stay in for an extended amount of time was hard. Last time Matt had been on shift she had slept most of the night in the rocking chair in the nursery. That ability to have those precious hours of sleep were so important to Gabby. Everyone had been telling her that sleep was precious, unfortunately, it was evading her. So when she had to be at home by herself, it was very much a struggle for her. And people kept telling her that she should sleep whilst she could, that she couldn't understand; it's not like she could bank the sleep for when Smudge actually arrived.

And last night had been particularly rough on her, no matter what Gabby had done she wasn't able to get comfortable. She had been feeling incredibly large for weeks and with what was only realistically was a few weeks to go, she was feeling enormous. Being of a smaller frame than others, the extra weight and belly had taken its toll. It had been hard trying to settle into bed last night and there was no comfortable position with the belly.

Smudge hadn't helped matters, the baby was a night owl, increasingly so over the last two or three weeks. It honestly felt like Smudge was dancing on her ribcage and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it. There was no stopping him… or her. Smudge was fast running out of room, probably had already if Gabby was honest with herself. And Gabby's back ached. Every passing day was further aches and pains. She wanted to enjoy the last few moments of just being her and Matt so very much, but at the same time ready to meet Smudge. Not to mention have her own body back. Just two nights ago she had managed to convince Matt to come to bed early in the evening just so he could sit upright in bed and allow her to snuggle into him. Somehow by curling into his side, resting her head onto his chest and propping a pillow between her legs had somewhat helped her aching back. Another pillow beneath her belly had helped support it and the steady beating of Matt's heart had lulled her into a deep slumber for a number of hours. It can't have been comfortable for him, sitting mostly upright with an arm around her shoulder. The television had been playing in the background when she drifted off and was still on when she awoke at 1 am needing the bathroom.

Last night she didn't have her human pillow and it had to have been one of the worst night's sleep Gabby had, or hadn't had… She had been completely miserable, an hour or so here and there during the night and getting up to use the restroom when she finally felt comfortable in bed. Her entire stomach had felt like something was pressing down on it and she had struggled to catch her breath a few times. Upon feeling like she was ready to throw up, she had given in and called Matt only for it to go to voicemail. He must have been out on a call. It wasn't until the third trip to the bathroom, with the pressure and painful sensations that Gabby recognised the Braxton Hicks contractions. So she had taken a cold glass of water into the nursery and paced the halls for a short while to ease the discomfort that she was feeling.

All she wanted to do was lie on her back and just fall asleep, was it too much to ask? Not only had she read that it was dangerous to sleep on her back and everyone would remind her of this, she just couldn't physically do it. Every time she was on her back, it felt like she was going to suffocate. She just couldn't take a deep breath, well she couldn't really breathe well at all. Like her lungs were being compressed. So really, the only way she could sleep was on her side, left side especially. And she was tired of sleeping on her left side. People kept telling her 'get all sleep you can'; what a load of rubbish. Every position was uncomfortable and it wasn't like she could stockpile the sleep for when Smudge arrived.

Around 4 am she had given up even trying to sleep. It had been a bit of a vicious cycle with the need for water to help slow the Braxton Hicks down with the constant need to get out of bed and use the restroom _again_. It was during that time that she decided it would be much easier to just remove herself from the bed. Sighing loudly, Gabby had placed a hand on the under her belly as she had rolled out of bed. Smudge wasn't too good if she stayed in one place for too long and the pelvic pain that she had experienced that morning was no different to any other morning recently. Gabby was just grateful that it was a fleeting pain that seemed to disappear soon after it started. She had also found this morning, that twisting with her knees together was helpful.

It has a slow move around the bedroom to throw on a dress. As cool as the weather still was in Chicago, Gabby was still carrying around a personal heater. And whilst she really wanted to turn down the heat in the house, she didn't think that Matt getting a cold at this point was going to be a good thing. So it had been decided that they would set the temperature to one that was slightly more comfortable for her, however it was a temperature that was probably a little lower than it was everywhere else in Chicago, meaning Matt needed to still wear long sleeves, if not a jumper, but she could get away with short sleeves most of the time.

Which had led her to this point; sitting on one of the large plush armchairs in their front living room. Gabby stretched her legs out over the coffee table that was within reach, her hands smoothing her shirt, well actually Matt's shirt, over her belly. She had been loving nearly every moment of being pregnant, but the closer she got to the end the more she was ready for it to be over. She was ready to meet Smudge and get started with the next chapter of their lives.

A tingling of fingers pulled her out of the motion of running her hands over her belly. There had been a few mornings that Gabby had woken up with the same tingling and it was just uncomfortable. With her thumb, she turned her wedding ring around and around her finger, but just wasn't moving as easily as it normally did. People had told her time and time again that she would likely have to remove her rings at some point of the pregnancy and as much as Gabby wasn't ready to believe it, maybe it was time. The newest ring that Matt had given to her only weeks previously, that seemed to be slightly larger, yet even that was getting a little tight around her finger. Groaning softly Gabby started to twist her rings off, wriggling them back and forth in an attempt to pry them off of her finger. It wasn't easy and Gabby didn't really want to get up to try and get them off with too much force. No, rather she pursed her lips and yanked slightly harder on the rings. Once they were passed her first knuckle, all three rings slid off with ease. Resting them momentarily on the top of her belly, Gabby unclasped her necklace before sliding the rings on. It was an unfamiliar feeling for Gabby, looking down at a bare hand. First time in a long time that one of Matt's rings wasn't gracing her hand, and she wasn't sure how she felt about that. Maybe if she tried she could get that eternity ring on later it might work.

She watched as the diamonds caught the little light there was in the room, bouncing the light off in different directions. Gabby wasn't so sure about the lack of a ring on her finger still. It was just odd to see it. Clicking her tongue rapidly, she withdrew the last ring, her eternity ring and balanced it on her belly whilst she put her necklace back on. It might have taken a little time but Gabby was able to somehow get the ring back onto her finger without jarring it. After a few moments, she put her hand back down to rest on the chair without any more tingling happening.

Pointing her toes one last time, Gabby slid the book off of her lap and tossed it gently onto the floor, not care one little bit that she probably wouldn't be able to get it up again. She knew that she would likely miss the coffee table in front of her. That belly was getting in the way in more ways than one. Matt was just going to have to pick it up for her. Actually, a thought suddenly struck her, it was quite late in the morning, honestly, it was pretty much lunch time. Matt should have been home hours ago. And surprisingly Smudge hadn't nudged her nearly enough to make her want to eat, which was surprising since she hadn't really eaten since last night.

Fishing her phone out from behind herself Gabby pressed the screen to light up her phone again, checking to see if there was any missed messages or phone calls. Her brow furrowed slightly when she noticed that there was nothing from Matt. Resting her head back against the headrest she contemplated where she was.

Three weeks or so until Smudge would hopefully make his or her entrance and life as she knew it would never be the same. Her life would dramatically change as would Matt's. Their relationship would be changing too. And she couldn't wait. Finally, she felt ready and relaxed. Not quite as anxious as before. There was a calmness that had washed over Gabby and it was like she finally understood and just knew that she'd figure it out one day, one moment at a time and help will be there when she needed it. Maybe there was still some, maybe a few anxieties about the birth: What if something goes wrong? What if everything goes wrong?

But Gabby was sure that this wasn't any different to what any new mother was worried about. Things were right with the world. Smudge was head down and ready to go based on the latest ultrasounds. No lie, Gabby definitely had been feeling a lot more pressure and back pain as a result. As she looked down she was convinced that her bump has gotten HUGE.

And despite the few stretch marks that had unwelcomingly appeared, they had just seemed to pop up on her hips and lower belly… But despite it all, Gabby loved it. She wanted time to hurry up and slow down all at the same time.

Twisting slightly so she was able to use the arms of the chair to push herself up and out of her seat, Gabby quickly fired off a text message to Matt to see where he was as she managed to get to her feet. Afte,r that she slid her phone in the pocket of her dress and started towards the kitchen.

* * *

Boden sighed heavily as he raised his hand to knock on the Caseys' front door. Kidd had insisted at the scene that she accompany him to tell Gabby what had happened. She was going to need someone with her, a friend… Someone close to her. It had been a silent and tense ride from the scene. And the walk towards the front door hadn't been much better.

"Chief," Herrmann's gravelly voice was heard from behind the pair causing them to turn in confusion.

"Herrmann?" Kidd wasn't able to keep the surprise out of her voice. She hadn't noticed Truck 81 following them towards the house, but now she noticed it parked down the road. Otis was nowhere to be seen and neither was Jimmy, both still obviously in the truck.

"We need to be here…" he confirmed. Boden only nodded and turned back to his original task and knocked loudly.

The door slowly opened and Gabby's face was already white before Boden was able to open his mouth.

"Come on kid," Herrmann moved to one side as Kidd darted towards Gabby's other side, both reaching out to steady their friend.

"What's happened to Matt?" Gabby questioned, her voice barely above a whisper, as she was settled onto the couch. Kidd slid in next to her, her own hand never leaving Gabby's. Squeezing it gently, she hoped to pass on even a little strength and hope.

Boden eased himself into the armchair that he had dragged closer to the seated pair. Herrmann, himself, was content to just watch the situation, he never wanted to be around for this type of news delivery, but he had to be here for the young woman. He had decided to plant himself firmly behind Boden and tucked his hands into his pants next to his braces.

Gabby looked up at the two men, both a solemn look etched onto their faces. Boden placed a gentle hand onto her closest knee before beginning.

"Gabriela..." he started.

Gabby drew a sharp breath in, registering her full name. She mental tried to prepare herself for the worst as her free hand splayed across her belly. Every first responder spouse knew the risks of their partners' job, she knew it better than anyone else. Sensing this, Kidd started to rub her free hand up and down her back.

"Gabriela," the sound of Boden's deep voice brought her back to the present. "Matt is fine…"

"Breath Gabby," coached Kidd, hearing Gabby's breathing start to quicken and become slightly shallower. "Nice and slow… In and out… In and out…"

"Matt is fine. He had an issue with his tank running out of air…"

"Running out of air?" Gabby could hear her own voice start to shriek. "He ran out of _air_?!"

"He thought he had more time then he actually did," confirmed Boden. "He's fine though. Severide found him just inside the entrance. It seems that he must have become disorientated as his tank began to run out."

"He's okay kid," piped up Herrmann. He caught Kidd's eye and nodded. Swiftly they changed positions, allowing Gabby to lean in to him.

"I'm going to get your bag Gabs," Kidd mentioned over her shoulder as she made her way toward the stairs. She didn't need to ask where everything was. Stella knew that she could find everything in her friend's room, knowing to pack more than just her purse. An overnight bag with a few things for both Caseys would be suffice.

"Where is he?" questioned Gabby, still almost fearful of the answer.

"Med," replied Boden. "Severide is with him…"

"And the rest of the Truck company is outside waiting to go with you," interrupted Herrmann.

Gabby slowly nodded as she rose to her feet. Closing her eyes momentarily, steeling her nerves. "Okay, let's go!" she commanded as she jammed her wedding rings back onto her finger.

* * *

Gabby couldn't count the number of times she had come through the doors to Gaffney Chicago Medical Center flanked by Firehouse 51, let alone just coming in on Ambo 61. Unfortunately, it also stuck in her mind the number of time they had been in this position - that one when the entire company was present because one of their own was the patient.

Gabby thought back to the time when she was still 26 weeks pregnant and sat on the floor. What a simpler time that was, when her biggest problem was discussing what their kids name might be. And that she wasn't able to get up off the floor unaided. She vividly remembered wondering at the time what it was going to be like. It was never supposed to be about coming into the ER to see her husband lying in the bed, still in an unknown condition. It didn't matter to her how many times that Boden had reassured her that everything was okay and Matt was okay, until she saw him with her own eyes she wasn't going to be okay. To see him breathing with her own eyes… To be able to reach out and touch him, then everything _might_ be okay.

Maggie made eye contact with Boden, nodded and moved forward to intercept the team.

"Gabby," she gently called out, catching her by the elbow. "Come on, Casey is waiting in one of the small rooms for his own room upstairs. He's okay… But with any breathing incident, we want him admitted to keep an eye on him. The rest of them are over there in the waiting area," she called over her shoulder nodding with her head.

Matt was sat up in a bed in a small off to the side room wearing an oxygen mask with Severide sitting next to him, laughing about something, the mask fogging up as he breathed.

As Gabby stood in the doorway taking all of this in, she couldn't take it. It was all much too overwhelming. She couldn't deal it all, knowing that she had come so very close to losing Matt, and here he was laughing it up with Severide. It all conflicted in her head and her heart began to race.

Without even being able to process it all, Gabby felt her heart racing and she felt that she couldn't breathe properly, she tried desperately to take a deep breath in. Instead, it was rapid, it was shallow. A dizziness over took her, one that she hadn't felt since her early days of the pregnancy. Her world was spinning faster and faster and she felt light headed, as if she was going to faint dead on the spot. Instinctively she reached out with a hand in some sort of attempt to steady herself as she swayed from side to side.

Matt looked up at the soft gasping noises that were escaping Gabby's body and watched in horror as the blood had fast drained from Gabby's face.

Gabby's body had gone into fight or flight mode and she could feel the panic attack building inside of her as she lost control. And there was nothing that she could reasonably do to stop the feeling coursing through her body.

"Sev," urged Matt, a look of worry crossing his face. Severide, fast on his feet, swiftly moved from his chair and helped Gabby into it.

"Breathe," coached Maggie coming up behind the pair. "Slow, deep breaths…" she continued as she bent down to rest her hands on Gabby's knees catching the panic stricken eyes of the woman, locking eyes with her. "Count slowly to three as you breathe in, and again when you breathe out. It may also help if you breathe into your tummy instead of your chest, so your belly moves with each breath."

Matt reached out with his hand, scooting over to the very edge of his temporary bed so he was able to touch her shoulder. Gabby's breaths were still coming out in ragged lots.

"Don't fight it. This may make you feel even more out of control. Instead, try to accept that you're not in any real danger, and that the panic attack will be over soon. Keep telling yourself, 'I'm going to be OK, everything is OK,' until the feelings subside… You're going to be okay Gabby," continued the smooth voice of Maggie, breathing deeply along with her.

Gabby's hands went to the base of her belly as she felt a tightening, her eyes widening. There was a little voice in her head telling her that it was too early for Smudge to make their appearance.

Maggie's well trained hands followed Gabby's to feel what was happening. She could feel the muscles of the young paramedic's uterus tight and taut. "Breathe Gabby, in and out… In and out… It's just a braxton hicks. Everything is going to be okay." Realistically Maggie knew that it could be real labour, but was willing to take a punt to ensure that Gabby calmed down. Seconds later she felt the muscles behind her palm relax. "Can you grab a drink of water for her Severide? ...Now Gabby, just keep breathing nice and deeply… It's all going to be okay," she reassured looking over at Matt who was looking just as concerned as Gabby was. "Everything is fine."

* * *

A few hours later they finally settled Matt into a room. Gabby had been milling around outside his room attempting to calm herself down. She still wasn't able to settling the feelings that were churning around, it didn't seem to matter that she had been able to see Matt, see him breathing. It still didn't seem real.

The room had been overwhelming; she loved their firehouse family. They were always there when needed and without a single question. Cindy Herrmann had already been to visit armed with sandwiches and cookies, enough to feed an army. When she left she had done so with a promise of bring a hot meal for Gabby later in the evening, but Gabby couldn't even think about eating at the moment. Even though she could reach out and touch Matt, it just didn't seem real that he was alive. She couldn't wrap her head around the fact that she had come so incredibly close to losing Matt today.

Gabby herself was a first responder and she knew that every shift could end in tragedy. But, nothing had prepared her for what had happened today. Add to this the closeness of the timing for Smudge to make their appearance and hormones were running wild. On one hand, she couldn't believe how lucky Matt was to have escaped fairly unscathed. On the other hand, she want to punch Matt, HARD! To put them in this position, she wanted to curl up in the corner of the room and cry her eyes out. Not that she was even able to curl up any more.

So after around thirty minutes of the entire house being in the room with her and Matt, Gabby had quietly excused herself. Stella had moments later followed her out to see how she was coping, but Gabby just wanted to be by herself. She had managed to find a smallish corner in the ward with a chair and was comfortable enough there to just sit and rest her hands on her belly. It allowed her the time to just contemplate the world going by her and how it had nearly all been taken from her in an instant.

Yet, she still only hovered at the doorway when the house had been told it was time to leave. Truck 81 had been taken off the road and surprisingly Squad hadn't had a call in the many hours they had been here. It hadn't even occurred to Gabby that their shift had been long over...

"Gabby?" Matt's still scratchy voice called out to her.

Gabby shook her head trying to clear it of all thoughts before she went into his room fully. It was a slow walk over to Matt's bedside, slower even for her at this late stage. Matt had only been able to open his mouth up to ask how she was coping, before a knock interrupted them.

Maggie looked apologetically as she carefully wheeled in a small bed, closely followed by Dr Peterson, who was armed with a portable ultrasound machine.

"Gabby," Maggie patted the bed lightly. "Thought you might need this after everything that has happened," she wisely spoke. "And you'll never know who you'll run into in my ER." In all honesty, the charge nurse had made a phone call to Dr Peterson quite soon after Matt had been transferred upstairs, seeing the anguish that had been etched on Gabby's face.

Gabby gave a weak smile as she felt Matt's hand reach out from his own bed and giving it a squeeze. "Thanks Maggie."

"Everything okay in there?" Dr Peterson questioned as she fired up the machine. "Still feeling the normal amount of movement?"

"Little more than usual, I think," her voice still a little shaky.

"That's honestly to be expected," reassured Maggie. "There's been research to say that Baby may be able to sense the stress that you're feeling. And it's completely natural… It's all okay Gabby," she soothed from the base of the bed. It was getting a little crowded in the room; with two beds, an ultrasound machine and Maggie found that the best place was at the end.

"I'm just going to confirm baby's position, which is what I was going to do when you came in for your next appointment, so why not do it now? So checking the position and checking on the baby's size," Dr Peterson informed them as she started the scan.

"We can only see bits of her now," commented Matt, "Smudge really is running out of room." Gabby relaxed a little as little snippets of their baby came across the screen.

"And there's the heartbeat," Maggie commented as the loud fast sound came echoing through the room. Gabby had jumped slightly at the noise, it didn't matter how many times she heard it, it made her own heart race that little bit more.

"Heart rate is good. Right on 134 beats a minute… Everything looking good guys. The placenta is right where we want it and your fluid levels are fine. Honestly Gabby, I'm seeing everything that I want to be seeing."

"Look at that," Matt pointed out towards the screen where Smudge's face was clear as day. "That little mouth going and going."

Gabby smiled through some silent tears, "It looks like Smudge is smacking their lips. It's sweet."

"Pretty good looking baby," laughed along Maggie.

"And we're still head down," confirmed Dr Peterson, as she started with the numerous amount of measurements that she needed.

Gabby sighed in relief, "I was worried that Smudge might be still transverse," she confessed. Smudge had been head down a few times but then had come back out and been breech, not to mention sideways.

"Baby is right on track. I would estimate that he's 7lbs 4oz already, which is good," Dr Peterson confirmed, turning the machine off and wiping down Gabby's belly.

"You really don't know either way, do you?" laughed Maggie, amused on the constant changing of pronouns.

"It never does cease to amaze me how many parents those days who aren't finding out," laughed Dr Peterson as she started measuring Gabby's fundal height. "Few years ago it would have been the other way, nearly everyone wanted to know…. Right all looks good Gabby. Everything is right on track."

Gabby groaned slightly as she got up and off the bed, waving briefly as the two women maneuvered everything back out of the room.

"Here," Matt patted the bed, scooting over to the edge of the bed. "Smudge is going well… Everything is okay...Hey," Matt soothed as Gabby attempted to snuggle in the best she could. The tears started as soon as she landed on the bed. "It all okay now…" he continued, rubbing her back gently.

"Matt," she sobbed.

"I'm right here… Hey, look at me." His finger gently lifted her chin, his own heart breaking at the slightly tinged red eyes of his wife. "Gabby, I'm right here… It's all going to be okay."

Gabby nodded tearily as she lay her head back onto his shoulder, her hand coming up to rest on his chest feeling the steady beat of his heart, a reassuring reminder that he was here. All of going to be alright with their world.

 _~ Because he's running out of room in your uterus, he mostly stretches and wiggles, instead of delivering big kicks ~_

* * *

 **There is was... Let me know what you think! ~Em**


End file.
